Dina Lohan: “Lindsay wants to open up her own rehab”

42419, WEST HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA - Friday July 9, 2010. Lindsay Lohan, soon-to-be-incarcerated, manages to smile as she leaves a Coffee Bean in a Nike sports bra and sweats accompanied by her mom Dina and sister Ali. No sign of any writing on her nail polish this time! Photograph:  David Tonnessen, PacificCoastNews.com

Lindsay Lohan went through the revolving doors of three different rehab facilities back in 2007 when she got two DUIs and still had a career that could have potentially been saved. She wasn’t just in rehab three times though – she went back to the same facility twice on two different occasions, making her unsuccessful attempts clock in at around five. Later, Lindsay called her stints in rehab “like vacation. When it comes to whether she needs rehab for her obvious prescription pill addiction, Lindsay has said “I don’t see why I’d even have to do that (go into rehab). I don’t see why that would even be a question.” According to Dina, Lindsay earnestly wants to open her own rehab though, because she thinks she can be of service to other addicts in denial hoping to dupe their mean old judges. This family lives in denial town, where the pharmaceuticals flow freely and the boob jobs and lip injections start at 15.

A judge ordered Lindsay Lohan to report to jail July 20, but the star’s mom, Dina, has every expectation that the actress won’t be spending any time behind bars.

In an interview with In Touch Weekly, Dina said that after the July 6 sentencing, she and Lindsay “hugged and cried a lot,” but they are “optimists.” “Lindsay is sober and she’s fine. I don’t want to speak hypothetically (about jail) because she’s not going to be in that situation,” Dina said.

If Lindsay does end up in jail, her mother says that Lindsay’s biggest concerns about doing time would be coping with her claustrophobia and dealing with not smoking. (“She will probably have to get hypnotized,” Dina said of the smoking situation.)

But her fears for Lindsay are much larger. “If Lindsay went to jail, I would fear for her life. Jail doesn’t help anyone no matter what problem you have — unless you’re a rapist or a murderer. This wasn’t a violent crime, but they’re saying you miss a DUI class and have to go to jail for three months — that’s absurd,” Dina told In Touch.

There’s been speculation about what Lindsay’s future will be like if she has to go to jail, and what impact it will have on her career. Dina said that Lindsay does have goals for the future, and they have nothing to do with acting.

“Lindsay actually wants to open up her own rehab center here (in Los Angeles) and a couple across the country to help other kids and celebs so they don’t fall through the cracks in this town,” Dina said. “She mentioned it to me a couple of days ago. She’s really growing up.”

[From MSNBC]

Optimism must be the new way to refer to a delusional sense of self entitlement. Can you imagine Lindsay’s rehab facility? Do you remember how her house looks? The girl is a hoarder with crap piled all over. She hasn’t successfully completed rehab after five tries and ditched so many alcohol education classes that she’s going to jail. Her mother earnestly believes that her daughter, a messy drugged out twit who can’t get her life together, is somehow qualified to open her own rehab facility. It would be funny if it wasn’t just a hair’s breadth from tragedy. I know – Lindsay can start her own rehab from her crack house and then go there instead of heading to jail. It’s genius!

Meanwhile Lindsay still does not have a lawyer and is interviewing potential candidates. Kaiser’s theory is that Lindsay and Dina will not be able to retain a lawyer in time to mount a very simple appeal, which would put off her going to jail for a few months. I agree, especially when you consider all the other very basic ways they’ve tried to ignore or beat the system and have failed. (Dina trying to get the “French” embassy on the horn after hours to grant Lindsay an emergency passport for instance.)

Oh and a “source” tells TMZ that Lindsay never takes Dilaudid at this point and is only on Adderall and Nexium. Her dad calls that complete horsecrap. Lindsay is also involved in a Twitter war with her dad and Joan Rivers for their remarks against her. (She sounds too sober and grammatically correct in the latest tweets, though and I’m guessing they’re straight from Dina.) The judge should have taken away her Internet connection.

Dina Lohan goes through the drive through at In N Out Burger on July 12, 2010 in West Hollywood, CA (photo by MIA PICTURES / Meet The Famous) Photo via Newscom

42419, WEST HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA - Friday July 9, 2010. Lindsay Lohan, soon-to-be-incarcerated, manages to smile as she leaves a Coffee Bean in a Nike sports bra and sweats accompanied by her mom Dina and sister Ali. No sign of any writing on her nail polish this time! Photograph:  David Tonnessen, PacificCoastNews.com

Lindsay Lohan appeared to be in relatively good spirits despite her recent jail sentence as she got coffee with her mother Dina Lohan in West Hollywood, CA on July 9, 2010. Fame Pictures, Inc

Lindsay Lohan appeared to be in relatively good spirits despite her recent jail sentence as she got coffee with her mother Dina Lohan in West Hollywood, CA on July 9, 2010. Fame Pictures, Inc

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46 Responses to “Dina Lohan: “Lindsay wants to open up her own rehab””

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  1. Jackson says:

    What can even be said about this story? IDK. I think I will just point and laugh.

  2. snowball says:

    I haven’t watched South Park in a while. I wonder if they’d do an all Lohan episode, if they haven’t already.

    Except it can’t be weirder or funnier than the actual real life thing.

  3. bellaluna says:

    Somehow, I don’t think LL’s “rehab facility” would be an ACTUAL rehab facility. I think she’d probably enable everyone there and it would turn into one big drug-sharing party house. Just my opinion.

    I’m counting the days until she (supposedly) goes to jail. Dina must have been steeped in denial in the womb, and raised on a diet including “Delusion Water” – then she passed it on to her daughter. Ugh, this family.

  4. Sarah says:

    This stopped being funny a while ago, now it’s just pathetic.

  5. Marjalane says:

    Talk about chewing through your straps! Dina Lohan is uber delusional. As a mother I can’t imagine- NOT FOR ONE MINUTE- denying that your child is in serious trouble, and refusing to put your own famewhorish desires aside so she can get some help. Why does she still have custody of her other children??!!

  6. Ogechi says:

    Lindsay needs serious help.

  7. saintdevil says:

    With those parents, it’s really no surprise how effed up Lindsay is.
    But since she’s 24-going-on-40, it’s time for her to grow up and take responsibility for her actions.

  8. CB Rawks says:

    Well yeah, cos then she can graduate herself.

  9. YT says:

    Sheesh. Stupid, BS idea. These non-productive, uneducated people are a waste. Stop giving them attention.

  10. ESDTGF says:

    Bwaohahahahahahahaha “Pointing at the tard while laughing!”

  11. canadianchick says:

    Hahaaha, the first step would be “admitted we were powerless over collagen injections, and our lives had become unmanageable”. Okay only 12 steppers are going to get that joke…

  12. Jazz says:

    Dear God, if addicts didn’t have enough troubles already, they’ll have to have Lindsay Lohan in charge of a rehab.

  13. FluffyElmo says:

    LL: “Yeah, well…I’m gonna go build my own rehab, with blackjack and blow. In fact, forget the rehab!”

    (Hmmm, are Futurama quotes too geeky for this crowd? i usually hang in geekier sections of the Internet:)

  14. Me1st says:

    “She’s really growing up.”

    Even one of the potential lawyers they interviewed said she was acting/treated just like a child.
    is there a law where we could lock up the mother? Oh, that’s right, LL’s father already tried to have Ali out of reach with LL and that didn’t work. say what you want but at least that man cares, all the mother cares about is her payday

  15. Richi says:

    1st get your self in order b4 reaching out to others!!! Jeez! won’t this people ever learn anything from all of it????

  16. Riley says:

    Ol’ Lady Shoohan is a bag o’ nuts, especially in this interview. Lindsay did a lot more than skip out on some drug/alcohol ed classes. Didn’t she hijack a car with two young men in it and drive drunk through the streets of LA? She is lucky she didn’t kill anyone. As for the rehab, I loved it. That is my first laugh of the morning and I hope to keep the good vibes going. Thank you, my favorite Ice Cream lovin Botox pumpin Hip grindin Tankini top wearin’ White Oprah No tear ducts for me because crying is useless and solves nothing Mother of 4.

  17. dread pirate cuervo says:

    Open her own rehab? She is not at all in touch with reality. In recovery, I’ve met people who are Big Book thumpers & Step nazis & who will wax poetic on Bill W & Dr. Bob, despite being in the “take the cotton out of your ears & put it in your mouth” stage of sobriety. I know a bunch of people who’ve gone to be a CDAC. I even know a guy who started an AA meeting in Costa Rica by his vacation home. But I’ve never heard of someone who DOESN’T EVEN GO TO MEETINGS wanting to open their own rehab. I hope jail is the “gift of desperation” Lindsay needs to open her eyes.

  18. lew says:

    saintdevil: she’s 24 going on 40 going on 14 mentally!
    Her so called mother is a horrible human being, LL should cut her mother of like she did her dad. Then maybe she’d have a chance; AT REALITY!!
    “oh pooh she missed one little dui meeting/class and they’re throwing her in jail how unjust, she’s only a child at 24 HELLO!” what a nut case!!!

  19. Eileen Yover says:

    FluffyElmo: Futurama is awesome! How exciting is it they are back with new episodes? I’ve been watching all the reruns over and over on Adult Swim!

  20. Fluffy Kitten Tail says:

    OH FFS! I can’t take these people anymore!

  21. GrnMtGirl says:

    I saw the headline and started laughing!!! I can’t wait to read it…

  22. Missfit says:

    Really??? Will it be free booze and drugs for everyone? Okay, maybe that’s mean, but this girl seriously needs help and that (her own rehab) thing should be the last thing on her damn mind. She can barely even take care of herself now. (And her mom just trailing along behind her, using her daughter for celebrity pap shots)…(trying to get free cakes or whatever off her other daughter), lol. If I were famous, that’d be my mom! lol That’s no support. Lindsey needs to get the hell away from CA all in general, (Britney too) and go FAR FAR AWAY until they have seriously cleaned up their act. If they hated the damn paps so much, I’m sure there is a way to avoid it. I have a feeling some of these famous people who claim to hate the paps, actually like it. They probably think…”If they don’t follow me, I’m not “important” anymore”…(whining)…Then all of a sudden here they come around the corner up their ass and they probably think “Oh, good, now I have to look pissed off, like I don’t want them following me.” There are some celebs that are good at avoiding it and it’s like…”Huh, I haven’t seen such and such or heard of them in a while?” Some figure out a way how to keep LOW KEY, discreet and boring somehow…genius. lol

  23. OXA says:

    Will this facility be next door to Mel Gibson’s Safe House for Dometic Violence

  24. katyalia says:

    Wasn’t there an episode of Scrubs where the biggest druggie opened his own drug conseling group so he could confiscate all the good stuff? Sounds about right.

  25. Audra says:

    Dina Lohan is the biggest friggin’ idiot this side of the Mississippi.

  26. Bec says:

    Dina has camel toe in the second last picture. Nice, huh!

  27. TaylorB says:


    She could combine it with the Chris Brown Center for Domestic Abuse and the Michael Vick (??sp) No Kill Animal Shelter.

  28. Novaraen says:

    Dina thinks Lindsey is going to jail for 3 months because she missed DUI classes?? Um…there was a LOT more to it than that…you idiot!!

    Lindsey has gotten two DUI’s…been popped for cocaine…stole someones vehicle and took it on a high speed chase…endangered lives…etc…etc…etc…

    This just goes to show that ALL the Lohans are delusional.

  29. mojoman says:

    HAHAHAHAHA!! this Dina is such a funny woman, she should do stand up comedy!

  30. Stef says:

    :She gets three months for missing a DUI class, it’s ridiculous!”.

    Hi, most people, and on Long Island especially, get more jail time than that JUST FOR THE DUI. NY has a one and done policy (or at least Long Island does) after the guy got on the Meadowbrook Parkway wasted going the wrong way, slammed his car into a limo coming from a wedding and killed the driver and the 5 year old flower girl by decapitating her.

    But no, it’s SUPER UNFAIR that Lindsay have to be punished for getting a car wasted with cocaine. THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!!

  31. freckles says:


  32. hellen says:

    Lindsay needs to go to jail and to rehab. Dina needs to go to PRISON for crimes against her child.

  33. Anne de Vries says:

    LOL. She can base it in Lala Land, which is where she spends most of her time anyway…

  34. hannah says:

    i love that she says it wasn’t a violent crime. the problem is, a dui is almost a violent crime. one swerve away. one red light away from homicide. and highspeed chases? again, how many people were in danger? not only the people in the car, but people on the road, LA is a busy city, and there are other people in it besides the poor lohans. the reason duis need to be treated like violent crimes is because if they aren’t, more people would do it. and its deadly

  35. Juiceinla says:

    I peed myself laughing at this headline…. then I read on and she actually said it.

    As jaded as I am by the delusional bullshixxers who live for the scent of their own brand in this town (LA-la) this family is truly priceless. A caricature of a caricature, Right down to Orange Oprah and her deranged daughter “Orangina”.

  36. Big Mama says:

    “Optimism must be the new way to refer to a delusional sense of self entitlement.” Can I just say Amen? Wow.

  37. Jeri says:

    Yeah right. Lindsay knows so much about being sober.

  38. connie says:

    i havent yet commented on the whole LL debacle, nut you violate probation you go to jail. period. end of story. regardless if it’s for shoplifting, trespassing or any other ‘non-violent crime’. No one NEEDS jail but (as many others have pointes out) due to the fact that she broke the law according to the society she is so above she DESERVES jail. Apparently dina thinks we’re all drinking the kool-aide too. Just because you say it doesnt mean its true and that we’ll believe you! We saw how devoted to others lindsay was when she went and saved those thousands of children in India a few months back…

  39. Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

    I thought she ran over some dude’s foot.

  40. Chris says:

    I’d like to hear what Robert Downey Junior has to say about all this Lohan business.

  41. Ruffian9 says:

    You can’t make up shit this funny!

  42. Camille says:

    I’m glad I’m not a celebrity.

  43. CdnDutchGirl says:

    “Will this facility be next door to Mel Gibson’s Safe House for Dometic Violence

    I nearly choked on my drink reading this comment! Perhaps a warning label next time? Or maybe CB should have a disclaimer that they are not liable for any injuries caused by the humourous (or infuriating) comments posted…LOL!

  44. Jazz says:

    I got your Futurama reference Fluffy Elmo! I haven’t watched it for a while, I’ll have to go watch some now! Love Bender.