Is Robyn Gibson just publicly supporting Mel for the money?

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Ugh, of course there are a million Mel Gibson and Oksana stories this morning. I’m just going to try getting through them quickly, not that it will make a difference. CB and I see the coverage of these ongoing abuse stories differently – while neither of us thinks Oksana is full of sh-t, CB comes down more on the side of believing Oksana about everything, and sticking up for her about everything. I feel differently in that I understand how people can have their doubts about Oksana’s actions then and now, although I still feel strongly that she was and is an abused woman, and her words and actions aren’t always going to fit whatever mold, and she didn’t always make the best decisions in the heat of the moment, and whatever, you know? People have the right to point out Oksana’s bad decisions, bad choices, and it doesn’t mean that their siding with Mel, or that they think Mel is anything other than a horrible f-cking monster.

But here’s one point I’d like to make: I used to work for a man who counseled abusive men, and I’ve seen the f-cked up psychology of abusers – it is really frightening what an abuser can do to a woman’s mind, and that really does contribute to the actions an abused woman takes, you know? If she believes she deserves it, she’s going to stay. If she can rationalize his behavior, she’s going to stay. There are so many abusive men who believe so wholly that they are completely justified in the moment when they are abusing, that the women they abuse believe it too. So even though I think Oksana should have gotten out long before she did, and I may have questions about some of her actions now, I also concede that as much as Mel was physically and verbally abusing her, there was a lot of psychological abuse there too, judging from their recorded conversations. All in all, I’m proud (as a woman) that Oksana got out finally, and that she got smart and compiling evidence against Mel.

Okay, so let’s start with the stories. Yesterday, TMZ got the tip from Mel’s camp that the LA County Sheriff’s Department was investigating Mel’s allegations that Oksana was attempting to extort him. The spokesperson said: “Extortion allegations have been brought to our attention and we are certainly going to be looking at that.” Blah. Mel says extortion claims, Oksana says “custody negotiations.”

Radar also reports that after the January 6 incident, Mel Gibson texted Oksana the next day: “Oksana, I wasn’t safe for you last night.” Radar is calling this “a key part of the explosive domestic violence investigation into their January 6 bust-up.”

Another explanation for the January 6th incident? Mel Gibson was going through nicotine withdrawal. He had just quit smoking, and that’s why he terrorized his girlfriend and two children, according to Team Mel. Umm… I’ve quit smoking before, and I didn’t beat anyone. All you really want to do is cry and drive to the Exxon station and buy a pack of smokes. Seriously, if the choice is between smoking or abusing, I say go with smoking.

Lastly, the tabloids have finally gotten onto this, taking two f-cking weeks to realize how sensational this story is (I mean “sensational” in that it’s a story people are talking about, not as in “good”). Life and Style reports (via Jezebel) that Robyn Gibson is just publicly supporting Mel because she wants more money in their divorce settlement, so they’ve agreed that she should keep quiet. A source says: “What she put up with for the last 10 years was often sheer hell. He’d go on alcohol-fueled rages, and she’d be terrified — not only for her own life but for the lives of her children.” And according to L&S’s sources, Robyn blames Mel for getting “at least two” of their kids addicted to drugs. Us Weekly’s source has the same kind of story – Mel’s older kids with Robyn are terrified of him because they “have all seen his temper and are scared of him… He rules them with an iron fist.”

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All archival photos of Mel, Robyn and their kids courtesy of Bauer-Griffin

 

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108 Responses to “Is Robyn Gibson just publicly supporting Mel for the money?”

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  1. hanh says:

    Of course. And because I think they are all still scared of him. They could also be in denial, trying to rationalize or pretend the abuse didn’t happen.

    Just because Robyn divorced Mel doesn’t mean she still isn’t tied to him through divorce settlements/alimony, whatever.

    Abusive men (and women) hold a reign of terror over their spouses/children. Its hard to understand unless you’ve been there how screwed up it all gets.

  2. Re: Robyn and kids … nothing new. =/ But I still believe she genuinely chose to do the affidavit because she still cares in spite of what they’ve been through. May seem strange to you or I, but it happens.

    Thanks for pointing out that questioning/doubting Oksana’s decisions doesn’t necessarily equated as condoning Mel’s behavior. I never quite understood how that logic worked for other people. O_o

  3. Julie says:

    Is Robyn supporting Mel for the dollars? You betcha! 400 million of them.

  4. Jackson says:

    Aw, #1, you beat me to it. But, yes, my response to that question is the same as yours: Duh!

  5. Jen says:

    I don’t think Mel suddenly snapped. I’m pretty sure Robyn put up with the same type of behavior.

  6. Bella Mosley says:

    Why would they care if Oksana asked for money to keep the tapes quiet if they allowed Rachel Ukitel to take $10 million from Tiger to keep quiet? What is the difference?
    If it’s illegal for one, why not both?

  7. Kitten says:

    Hey, Kaiser, thanks for your perspective about the situation. I think I tend to have more of a CB approach to the situation but I totally agree with you that just because some posters question the way Oksana handled things doesn’t necessarily mean that they are “pro-Gibson” (Pookie, that’s for you! :) ) However, I do think there are a lot of trolls out there that will do and say anything about Oksana in order to deflect from the REAL issue at hand: domestic violence.

    Ugh, I’m not one to come down on Robyn but I’m disappointed *IF* she is keeping quiet for money reasons. Seems so sad to me……Regardless, Gibson is a manipulative, abusive monster. He uses money to empower himself and verbal/psychological abuse to control. Sick sick f*ck…..

  8. LindyLou says:

    If Mel had been abusing Robyn throughout their marriage, I absolutely believe he’s got a freaky kind of hold over her still – not necessarily financial. Years of emotional and psychological abuse messes up your mind. You don’t think rationally and you are terrified of pissing off your abuser. It takes years to get over this crap. Been there.

  9. dread pirate cuervo says:

    It might be for money, but it might be for ego. As in, of course Mel didn’t abuse Robyn b/c she’s the Madonna & Oksana is the Whore.

  10. Jello says:

    Thanks Kaiser, for providing a calm and well balanced opinion, in the midst of this hysterical, tragic, and complicated, media circus.

  11. hanh says:

    @Mosley

    Good point! Why don’t they go after Rachel Ukitel? I’m sure she’s done her fair share of extortion considering how many famous married guys she’s banged.

  12. Ok… so after going to L&S’s website, I would take their “sources” with a grain of salt. Their new issue headline reads “Why Sandra Is Taking Jesse Back”. Yeah. Right.

  13. Snarf says:

    Bella – it’s all a question of who asked for the money and how.

    In Uchitel’s case I think Gloria Allred approached Tiger’s people with a “My client’s getting a lot of offers from various media outlets. I’m not sure how long she can maintain her silence with the kind of money she’s being offered.”

    Mel’s team is aledging that Oksnana tried to shake him down herself, with a specific amount in mind.

    Therein lies the difference.

  14. jones says:

    Robyn knows what’s good for her bank account. Please. Shashing!

  15. CathyT says:

    It’s shameful that the tabloids are smearing Robyn like this. She is a very private woman who felt that the accusations about her marriage crossed the line. If she was so interested in money and protecting Mel’s reputation she would have “stood by her man” after the DUI.

  16. pookie says:

    Thanks for the props Kitten! I actually listened to the tapes last night for the first time. It really was incredibly hard to hear. I don’t know if I’ve ever heard that much hate thrown at one human being in my life. It was very intense, and she is obviously the object of his rage/hate (which makes me think more GET OUTTA THERE ASAP WOMAN!). I never took the stance that his abuse was ok, but I do apologize if anything I said came off that way. I can see how that would infuriate someone, especially after hearing his ravings.

    I was trying to figure out the panting…I swear it sounded like he would occasionally hit a line of coke or something and just RACE and then come back down a little and then RACE again. For as horrible as everything he has done is, I feel a smidgen bad for him – he is an obviously sick man with HUGE substance abuse problems who has not gotten the help he needs. Some people just can’t accept the blessings they have been given and have to find a way to self-destruct. There are NO winners here, just a lot of people that are sick and broken – mostly due to the lifestyle/pursuit of fame and fortune. Makes me thankful I barely have a pot to pee in and an awesome fully functional family!

  17. mimi says:

    Yeah, abusive fathers have life long effects on their kids. It is especially hard when the father is very successful because they use their money as a means of control. Their goal is to destabilize family by constantly,constantly attacking their self-confidence. Ex. coming to a sporting event and laying into the kid because he/she didn’t win by enough. Taking a positive and twisting it into a negative…their specialty. The wife/mother is typically passive/meek and was purposely chosen for these traits. Whenever a child/wife displays any independence (i.e. going off to college, getting a job) the abuse can take extreme forms. For example, the abuser feels abandoned so will respond by punishing the child/wife. Silent treatment (to wife), severe rage against the child for their “irresponsibility, laziness, stupidity” when the child is trying to navigate the world independently. This makes the child question their every decision and move –negatively. Drinking, drugs, and suicide attempts can and do result. It takes divine intervention for the child to realize their successful, respected, admired father is f’in crazy. Furthermore, these abusers are teflon coded. No matter what they do or have done, they always wriggle out of any accountability. Been there.

  18. di butler says:

    I put in 14 yrs in an abusive relationship that makes this look like a trip out for ice cream, and I still think she’s a piece of crap, too. This is not how you deal with an abusive spouse. Is she was truly terrified of him, she sure as hell wouldn’t taunt him in this way. Both of them need to go far, far away with some deep psychiatric counseling.

  19. Uzi says:

    Kaiser…Thanks for trying to neutralize what’s become an extremely toxic forum!

    As for Robyn “publicly supporting Mel because she wants more money in their divorce settlement,” I have a big problem with that “theory.” The Gibsons didn’t have a pre-nup (they had no money when they married), and under California law she’s entitled to 50% of his net worth no matter what. That’ll be $400-500 million, according to official estimates. Maybe it’s just me, as I’m not a greedy, money driven person, but when you’re getting half a billion dollars, why would you lie under oath/risk a perjury charge just to get a few million more? If I were to question Robyn’s motives (which I don’t) I’d say she wants to “stick it to Oksana” more than she wants to get more money.

  20. Samantha says:

    Mel Gibson totally reminds me of Arthur, “Trinity Killer” from Dexter.

  21. miranda says:

    Robyn’s entitled to half Mel’s worth, whether he treated her like a princess or a punchbag, so she has nothing to gain by protecting him if he was abusive towards her. SHE holds all the cards in their pay-off negotiations. I do believe that he was a cheating, drinking, lying a**hole during their marriage, but I also believe that she considers him to be a good father to their children – who, apart from one DUI have kept out of trouble – and it’s them whose privacy she wishes to maintain by nipping any media speculation in the bud. She’s always struck me as a lady who ruled the roost, not some helpless Stockholm-syndromed victim.

  22. Annie says:

    “People have the right to point out Oksana’s bad decisions, bad choices, and it doesn’t mean that their siding with Mel, or that they think Mel is anything other than a horrible f-cking monster.”

    Thanks Kaiser. I have to say that I’ve all but stopped posting on this subject because I feel that in raising some questions about Oksana’s credibility, that equates to supporting Mel. Which it does not mean AT ALL.

    I’ve said numerous times in numerous posts that if he hit her, he should go to jail. PERIOD. FOR A LONG TIME. PERIOD. I just think the rest of it is very suspect and I do think she IS more interested in the money than anything else. PERIOD.

    He however, is Batshit Crazy and a certifiable Dickwad. (that’s the professional term)

  23. Kitten says:

    @ 19-Really, are you trying to make this into a competition of “who endured the worst abuse”? Seriously? Abuse is abuse. You’re saying she shouldn’t have “taunted” him? Are you saying that instead of “taunting” your abuser you just shut your mouth and stayed with him for 14 years? Sounds like you’re not in much of a position to be judging Oksana, my friend.

  24. mimi says:

    One other thing about these verbal/emotional abusers – they are nearly always charming to anyone outside of their intimate circle. Oksana is no saint that’s for damn sure, but props to her for throwing sh*t right back at Mel.

  25. di butler says:

    24-No, that’s not what I was saying at all. You inferred that. I was stating that I have experience with EXTREME LONG TERM abuse, and if you are truly terrified of a person, you know that taunting them makes it infinately more dangerous for you and your child. It is insanity. So, I question her mental status as well as Meltdown’s. I think they both need mental help. That has no bearing on anything other than there is a child involved that deserves to have, at least, one totally stable parent, and I don’t think she is, and I know for sure he isn’t.

  26. Maria says:

    Mel’s poor public image will have a huge impact on the psychological well being of his children. How would you like it if your father was depicted as a crazy violent abuser? Robyn is in a difficult place. I am guessing that her public support of Mel has more to do with protecting the kids than trying to help Mel.

  27. mymy says:

    It is not about the money it is about her unhealthy patterns with this tyrant. Her unhealthy patterns made Oksana look bad in Mels eyes. If his wife was able to put up with his narcissism he has come to expect that from any woman he is in a relationship with. His fury is because Oksana is holding him accountable for his actions. Big crime with narcissist. Rage is a very common response to such an affront to someone as special as Mel. Robin wouldn’t know a healthy reaction to narcissism if she went to a specialist for years. It has more to do with keeping Mel happy and therefore avoiding his rage herself. His kids have been trained in this manner also. Keep daddy happy at all costs

  28. mimi says:

    How would you like it if your father was depicted as a crazy violent abuser?

    Actually, there might be a hidden blessing in all this for his kids. His “cover” had been blown, so to speak. I suspect Mel vacillated between loving, supportive father and controlling emotional abuser with his kids. He has admitted to “violently attacking the toaster” to Diane Sawyer a few years ago so living with such a raging maniac had to have its effects. This public meltdown will force his kids to reevaluate their father…maybe such behaviour isn’t normal and acceptable after all?? Even if he is an Academy award winner, multi rich and successful entertainer.??

  29. Pat says:

    First, whatever Oksana’s reactions were doesn’t mitigate what Gibson did and his responsibility. Doesn’t matter if she asked for the moon as reparations, even the government pays reparations to war victims. Money is the currency used for punishment and amends. It’s moot. He did what he did. Mel Gibson can’t defend what he did so appears they are trying to shift focus from him and gain ground by pulling her into the gutter with him. He can’t elevate himself, but he can make himself look ‘less low’ by equalizing their positions. You see many comments defending him pushing this idea – saying what he did was wrong but they’re both guilty, that seems to be the approach. Their negotiations were likely custody negotiations. The reality of the criminal and judicial system truly punishing Mel Gibson was prob pretty dim. It’s hard enough for a woman to get an average Joe punished much less a Mel Gibson. For those Mel defenders who aren’t on the payroll, you need to familiarize with the REALITY of going to cops, lawsuits, not the FANTASY. Oksana probably knew if she went to cops nothing would ultimately happen and was saving herself and her family the trauma, expense and the public hanging (like she is now getting) by coming to an out of court agreement instead. Mel Gibson probably offered an agreement that included her not going to police, etc. Mel Gibson perhaps kept toying with her and not making good on the agreement and she was ultimately given no choice but to proceed. People will exploit this deficiency in the legal system and use it to throw rocks at her but she could’ve been doing better for her kids by trying to come to a fair agreement and being done. The cops and the courts unfortunately are not what some people think they are, or wish them to be.

  30. pookie says:

    @butler – i wondered the same thing myself about the ‘taunting’ and posted about it last night. too long to re-post, but yeah, I would think (and I am not an authority as I have never been in a relationship like this) that pushing someone who is already very clearly near the edge is a BAD idea. It’s the WAY she is doing all of this that does make me question what the heck is in her head! Could be this is the only way she thinks is right to fight back, I dunno, but man, after hearing those tapes I would NOT think publicly humiliating a rageaholic/narcissist is the way to bring this to a less violent end. And as I mentioned in my previous post, just cuz everyone ‘knows’ what Mel is like now and would be the first suspect were anything to (god forbid!!) happen to her or the kids – well, yeah, we all know how that worked out for OJ.

  31. anon says:

    @pokie “I was trying to figure out the panting”

    During an outburst of anger, stress hormones (adrenaline and noradrenalin) are released. These chemicals helps maintain the heart rate, blood pressure and regulates the pancreas that controls the sugar balance in our blood.

    Because of our anger, the usual (average) heart rate of 80 climbs to 180 beats per minute.

    An average blood pressure of 120 over 80 suddenly soars to 220 over 130, sometimes even higher.

    Breathing becomes more rapid to get more oxygen into the body.

    The energy burst causes a sugar deficiency, so that an angry person may “shake from anger”.

    Muscles that are needed to fight or flee become very tight, causing an “uptight” feeling.

    As the body prepares for survival, it safeguards itself against injury and bleeding. Likewise, an angry person’ body releases chemicals to coagulate (clot) the blood, creating a situation that’s potential dangerous. Although there is no physical injury, the clot is formed, which can travel through the blood vessels to the brain or heart.

    Physical implications
    Angry, hostile people face a higher risk of a heart attack or stroke.

    In a fit of anger a heart patient may experience a fatal heart attack due to the fact that the blood clot floating up to the heart lodges there.

    John Hunter, a physiologist said, “The first scoundrel that gets me angry will kill me.” Some time later a conference speaker incensed Hunter, who bitterly attacked the man. Hunter’s anger did cause a fatal heart attack.

  32. OXA says:

    mymy I couldnt agree more with you.

  33. Kitten says:

    @ Pat-Yep. It’s the “Trash Oksana” tactic for sure. No one in their right mind can defend Gibson at this point (although many posters seem to) so the next route is to throw her into the gutter with him. I will say that once again I have no idea how people can possibly bring a judgment of her motives into the argument. And yes, currency is used to punish and to make amends. This is the general principle behind lawsuits. Yes, people want to be vindicated but money is usually the result of this vindication.
    I hope Robyn and Oksana bleed him dry. If war victims get reparations then surely these women deserve some serious dough for what they went through.

  34. bellaluna says:

    As an abuse survivor (barely!) I would never, ever have taunted my abuser. The one time I mumbled something under my breath (after he shut the front door), he came flying at me from across the living room, over the back of the couch, into the dining room and I ended up on the floor with him on top of me, his hands around my throat.

    I cannot comment further. Hands sshaking too much to typee..

  35. Tery says:

    What he did or didn’t do to the ex-wife and kids is pointless. What matters is what he did to Oksana. But it’s doubtful that Mel Gibson wasn’t like this to his ex-wife and kids. Wealthy families often keep abuse an ugly family secret. Especially a family in the public eye.

  36. Liana says:

    People have the right to point out Oksana’s bad decisions, bad choices, and it doesn’t mean that their siding with Mel, or that they think Mel is anything other than a horrible f-cking monster.
    _______

    Thank you so much, Kaiser!

    And gee, when I quit smoking, I ate a gallon of ice cream and was depressed. I never smacked anyone or called them horrible names.

  37. Kitten says:

    Please PLEASE somebody explain to me how posters who claim to have been victims of domestic violence and are well-acquainted with the fragility and complexity of the abuser/victim relationship can make a judgement call of another victim’s actions in a violent situation? Why does this not make you MORE empathetic and LESS judgemental?? I just honestly don’t understand :(
    Ugh, I’m taking a break from the MG posts. This is just getting to me too much.

  38. Hepzibah says:

    I just have to say that I think that this is the first time I’ve EVER seen a pic of any of Mel’s kids!

    (Well, except for his daughter with Oksana.)

  39. bitca says:

    This is not really an attempt to smear poor Robyn Gibson. Having seen over half-a-dozen photos posted of her–taken at different times during the past 20+ years–perhaps it’s sheer misery in those eyes, but doesn’t she look over-medicated in almost every shot?

    He must have been an SOB to her as well, & unhappy, trapped spouses often seek escape in that way. Also, if she “wasn’t on the same spiritual” level (per the tapes)–after decades of playing Dutiful Church-o-Mel Wife, eschewing birth control, giving him a medieval # of offspring–look at her dead, glassy eyes & imagine what it was like.

    Maybe I’m wrong about this, but still hope the rumors of reuniting are garbage. She’s done her time, deserves her own life, & tons of compensation.

  40. TG says:

    Why couldn’t his wife dress better? Ugh

  41. bellaluna says:

    @ Kitten, et al.:

    NO ONE EVER HAS THE RIGHT TO QUESTION A BATTERED WOMAN’S ACTIONS OR REACTIONS. I am simply stating what I would not have done, for my own safety. I am not judging her, I am simply saying I would be dead if I egged on my abuser in that way. While some abusive traits are similar, many are not. Trying to encompass EVERY ABUSER or EVERY ABUSEE into one or two categories is like trying to say ALL MEN ARE THE SAME or ALL WOMEN ARE THE SAME. IT IS PATENTLY UNTRUE. Just because abuse survivors are commenting on what they did or didn’t do doesn’t meant that works for ALL abuse survivors.

    And now I truly am avoiding MG/O stories and comments. I am so over this shit. Unless you’ve been abused (or even if you have!), you have no right to question what I did or didn’t do to survive my abuser! I’M NOT DEAD AND THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS!!!!!!!!

  42. Jordan says:

    And yet none of the Mel shills SPECIFICALLY identify a taunt. You folks are doing a bad job. She was calm and articulate, and you try to say that was wrong. If she was angry, you’d she was unbalanced and provoked him. (Actually she was calm and got angry, so what tortured explanation you gonna give for that? LOL) No matter what Oksana does you’ll try to find an angle to blame her, but guess what? It’s irrelevant. He is responsible for himself. If he’s not responsible for himself, and is so sensitive to external stimuli, then he should be thrown into a padded cell where no one can accidentally “taunt” and “provoke” him into a murderous rage. Especially an innocent baby in his unstable care

  43. pookie says:

    Thanks for the detailed anger/panting explanation. I was stunned listening to those tapes – I had never heard ANYTHING like that and I grew up in a Sicilian household. That REALLY says something about what a raving lunatic Mel has become!

  44. Nick says:

    He basically said that his ex-wife is going to Hell because she’s Episcopalian. From the looks of it, his religion seems to be promiscuity, alcoholism, violence, greed

  45. xxodettexx says:

    to kaiser’s opening Q: DUH, she held out this long with the douche for $$, why not support him in bringing down another woman?

    “If she can rationalize his behavior, she’s going to stay.” – seconded!

    i have nothing else to add that i havent already said… no one should be abused [regardless of their wh0re calling card] and mel needs all kinds of substance and psychological help

  46. Liana says:

    If Mel thinks he’s going to end up anywhere near heaven, he might want to rethink that idea.

  47. MissyA says:

    @mymy – I think you’re dead on.

    It has nothing to do with the money. What you’re seeing played out in the media is the dynamic of their relationship while they were together.

    Soothing, pacifying, trying to clam daddy down before the kids come home. . . Typical behavior of a battered woman. (Oksana then, for having the gall to stand up for herself against this monster [or "taunting him" if you feel more comfortable with that word], would be an “atypical” battered woman.)

    Sad to see that after everything Mel’s done to her privately and in public, Robyn is still his submissive. This only improves Oksana and her “Hell Hath No Fury” attitude in my estimation.

  48. pookie says:

    @bellaluna – Trying to encompass EVERY ABUSER or EVERY ABUSEE into one or two categories is like trying to say ALL MEN ARE THE SAME or ALL WOMEN ARE THE SAME. IT IS PATENTLY UNTRUE.

    HERE HERE!!!

    @Jordan – And yet none of the Mel shills SPECIFICALLY identify a taunt.

    I am not a shill, but I did identify that the taunt is plastering ALL of his dirty laundry and lunacy on the internet/tabloids for every single living human being on the planet to see. She could have just as easily done all of this with police/lawyers, etc. She chose to do it this way instead and yeah, it is a VERY aggressive move. I am not saying it is in fact the wrong move, just a damn risky one to take. And it still doesn’t really do much of anything to help her kids. The American public cannot keep her safe or determine the custody of her kids – only the legal system can. So what is the point of driving a mad man further to the edge, at the end of his rope, who could possibly see that everything has been lost and oh hell, why not take all you bitches and kids with me to hell? Again, have not been in this situation, but I would think that to ‘tread lightly’ around a deranged animal is going to get out of the cage with a lot less scrapes. *Just my opinion*

  49. Statler says:

    Kaiser, thanks for trying to make the conversation more rational. There really has been a crazy lynch mob mentality on this subject lately, with posters attacking other posters if they dare criticize- or even question- Oksana.

    Re: Oksana & Mel- they both suck. He for being a racist abuser, her for being a gold digger. ***You don’t have to be an Oksana apologist to despise Mel, and likewise, disliking Oksana doesn’t automatically make you ‘Team Mel’***. Repeat this to yourselves before you post, some of you, please.

    As for me, Team Di Butler & Bellaluna. I’m sorry you were made to feel like you had to defend yourselves, especially with all these troll accusations being thrown around lately.

    PS- Kaiser & CB, when long time posters are being being attacked by implying they’re trolls, just because they have a (slightly) different opinion than the majority, isn’t it time for something be done?

  50. Crash2GO2 says:

    I have to take a break from these threads.

    Thanks for the nice post Kaiser.

  51. Jeri says:

    I’m sure there were a lot of people in Hollywood & the film world that knew what Mel was like & did nothing, said nothing (after all he owns Malibu) to expose him.

  52. Jordan says:

    @pookie, putting this evidence out publicly occurred AFTER the fact of the abuse. You state that her taunts provoked his abuse. Moreover, she has a right to disseminate evidence. Mel Gibson is a public figure and she has a right to defend her character & reputation, and the only way to do so is to post irrefutable evidence. Even with this evidence, folks are still doing the bash & trash (though many of them are purportedly paid posters.) Lastly, allegations of him being abusive are backed up by evidence. Calling her a gold digger is mindlessly reflexive, the worst kind of evil as it is unexamined. Why is she a gold digger? Because she was romantically involved with him? How does that automatically make her a gold digger? You don’t know her motives and feelings towards him. More importantly, who cares if she’s a “gold digger” That’s not illegal and not even immoral. He’s using her & she’s using him. It’s a mutual arrangement. Funny how these rich old men never seem to find “love” with someone their own age. Why don’t you focus some attention on him reportedly being a serial user of women

  53. Whatever says:

    Why does Team Oksana act like she is untouchable freak out when anyone questions her motives, but feel completely justified in questioning Robyn and making insane assumptions about her life? Give it a rest. I take the lady at her word. I’m sure she knows her marriage more than any of us and there has never been any evidence of abuse against her or the kids. He said he spanks his kids, like half the country does. That is not evidence of abuse. Leave Robyn alone. Have any of you considered that maybe he never touched her and she defended him because it is the truth? She is getting PLENTY of money, regardless of the outcome of his case. She said she did it because she doesn’t like all the assumptions about her marriage and with no evidence to the contrary, I believe her. She has done nothing but be a devoted wife and mother who guards her privacy. Why trash her?

  54. Kitten says:

    @ BellaLuna-Thanks for the clarification :) (BTW I wasn’t pointing fingers at you specifcally)
    Ugh I just need to realize that people have different opinions and not to get so sensitive about things. I just feel frustrated and sad, not angry and I guess a little helpless thinking “why don’t people see what I see?”
    Anyway, I struggle a lot with trying to refrain from making personal affronts (and have made that mistake in other posts) in the sense that we’re all just voicing our opinions and should be allowed to. I guess I just feel like Bellaluna that we shouldn’t judge if we haven’t been through it (which I have not thankfully). I am well-versed in stories of abuse from both my parents who were products of abusive households but admittedly, that hardly makes me an expert.
    @ Crash-if it’s bothering me I can’t even imagine what it’s doing to you given what you’ve been through!

  55. Kitten says:

    Also @ Statler-FYI, if you have been following these threads, when people like myself say “trolls” it is because there have been trolls and C/B has caught some posting under multiple names (including “Kitten”). It’s not necessarily people calling “long-time posters” trolls.
    @Jordan-HELL YES!

  56. bellaluna says:

    @ Kitten – Likewise, it’s not you, specifically. It’s just such a horrifying, polarising topic.

    Also, I was so entrenched in shame that I’ve never told ANYONE all the things that were done to me. So I can’t imagine having the gall to record them and plaster them out there for the world to see. I’d die of shame first.

  57. hanh says:

    Mel choose to try to abuse the wrong woman. Robyn stood by his craziness like a good passive wife and he expected Oksana to do the same.

    Oksana (for all her faults, and she has many) is not that kind of woman and I am glad that she got the tapes and that they are finally out there so we can all see how crazy Mel is. She’s getting her revenge.

  58. Van says:

    Reports are that the ex-wife has not received her settlement yet, and her financial situation is still tied up with him. They are business partners in Icon Productions, and real estate properties are on the market or will be when the market improves, etc. Also, posters who profess to be neutral but who use exaggerated language and slurs, i.e. that Oksana is a “freak” or those criticizing domestic abuse are elevating her to “sainthood”, reveal themselves to have agenda.

  59. Statler says:

    ‘Calling her a gold digger is mindlessly reflexive, the worst kind of evil as it is unexamined. Why is she a gold digger? … More importantly, who cares if she’s a “gold digger” That’s not illegal and not even immoral. He’s using her & she’s using him. It’s a mutual arrangement.’

    (Hmm, I sense this was obliquely aimed at my post. Good- I’ve been spoiling for it.)

    First point: who says she’s a gold digger?

    Her past history. Read about it, including the interviews with her exes. Do you think they just decided to band together & randomly attach the label of gold digger/opportunist to her, or do you think there could be something behind it?

    Second point:’who cares if she’s a “gold digger”? That’s not…even immoral.’

    This is what really gets me.

    (The following isn’t specific to the MG/OG saga, just a general rant.)

    Obviously, some people have never had to deal with the destruction & havoc such individuals can wreak on a family. I doubt you’ve ever had to deal with the pain of watching elderly relatives (widowers, not cheaters- in my family at least) being manipulated by con artists bent on exploiting them- and who in many cases attempt to lead them into harmful, dangerous behavior. (One ex: after my great uncle bounced his car off of three parked cars before crashing into a streetlight, his much younger ‘girlfriend’ went to battle with our family over him giving up his license.) The family wants what’s best for their loved one, a gold digger will ruthlessly tell them what they want to hear in hopes of creating an emotional dependency & driving a wedge between their target and the family. I doubt you thought your statement through- do you still really think that gold digging is not immoral?

    Yes, Gibson/Gregioreva situation is entirely different. (Although there are those who have made the argument that Mel’s not in full possession of his faculties because of substance abuse, I’m not one of them. As far as I’m concerned, he’s a POS. My only concern is those who think gold digging isn’t that bad, because it is.)

    Basically, my point is that a relationship based on calculating manipulation by one of the parties is immoral by definition.

  60. Nicks says:

    Just curious, what are Oksana’s “many faults”

  61. Statler says:

    @Kitten- I have been following & did notice this. However, in this specific thread, it seemed like that’s what was going on. At least to me.

    I don’t know how much traffic CB gets, but I’d think the paid trolling would focus on the sites with the highest exposure. I guess I just assumed the people CB banned were random nutjobs ;) not trolls per se.

  62. Whatever says:

    Also, posters who profess to be neutral but who use exaggerated language and slurs, i.e. that Oksana is a “freak” or those criticizing domestic abuse are elevating her to “sainthood”, reveal themselves to have agenda.

    Um, no. There’s another accusation that is getting old. Criticizing Oksana does not mean there is an “agenda”. She has made a career out of screwing rich men and getting knocked up twice. Her own exes have come out and talked about her gold digging history. This is not made up or an agenda. She is a person who uses her body for money. There is a word for this, which she has been called repeatedly. There is plenty to say about her and it is true that Team Oksana has elevated her to the role of innocent victim who does no wrong and attacks anyone who questions lily white Oksana. That is bullshit, plain and simple.

    None of this makes an agenda or means someone is team Mel. There are several posters on here who think what Mel did was terrible and that he should be punished, HOWEVER, not all of us believe every word out of Oksana’s mouth. I have news for you, he can be an abuser AND she can be exaggerating and even lying about some things, specifically pretending that she isn’t the one leaking all this crap. She is doing it and she is a liar. So he is a crazy alcoholic who abused his girlfriend AND she is a gold digger who is full of shit on some parts of her story. BOTH things can be true. Him being bad does NOT make her automatically good.

  63. Van says:

    So if you have relationships and get pregnant it is a “career.” That’s irrational. Should she be celibate? Only date paupers and unaccomplished men and have babies and go on welfare? Would that make her more legit? She’s an attractive intelligent woman, maybe it bothers you that she gets hot men and you don’t? The attacks on her are irrational and not based on fact or anything relevant. She was in a 12 year relationship with a marginally famous actor and, gasp, dared to have a child. It takes TWO to have a baby. She doesn’t appear to have profited hugely from that relationship although who cares. She’s entitled to support and it is IRRELEVANT to this situation. You people need to come up with something to take attention from the ONLY issue that is relevant which is DOMESTIC ABUSE. Even if she were extorting him, that’s a wholly separate issue from DOMESTIC ABUSE. And you better have some pretty solid proof BEFORE tossing around libelous accusations of extortion. Include a link where her “exes” trash her. State specific facts on which you base your “gold digging” hysteria. The problem with the Mel trolls is that it is you who is the lynch mob, and you get all ranty when you are questioned with facts and reason, rather than vague impressions and prejudice. Not to mention, condoning domestic abuse, either directly or indirectly, is reprehensible and will be, and should be, called out

  64. pookie says:

    @ Jordan – NEVER called her a gold-digger and I NEVER said that her actions provoked his abuse. Try actually reading my posts and then make your comments please.

  65. Jordan says:

    @statler, first, that is very unfortunate about your great uncle if the circumstance was as you describe. However, it would serve you in life not to automatically lump in your own specific personal experience with all situations. You seem to recognize that, yet continue to do it. Having an ex-boyfriend trash his ex is not a basis on which to form an opinion on her. Would love to hear what some of YOUR exe’s say about YOU. Why don’t you post a link about these alleged trashings of Oksana instead of just claiming they are there so that people can see what was really said. You seem very angry and emotional, even your response said you were glad for the response and were “spoiling” for an argument. You sound like Mel Gibson who sounded happy and excited once Oksana got angry. You clearly have personal issues to work out. In the meantime, please don’t serve on any juries.

  66. Statler says:

    @jordan- I got so carried away there, I forgot my most salient point. Who besides a gold digger would ever get involved with Gibson after his hateful diatribe against the Jewish people?

  67. Julia says:

    @ Statler–

    I wouldn’t personally be in a relationship for the money, but I guess what gets me about this is that he insults her for being a “gold digger”, but he HAD to know that’s what she was from the start. How many old rich dudes date young eye candy? Lots of them know the score. It’s repugnant to me, but I fault the guy more than I blame some attractive moron who sees her golden ticket (or at least hold them both accountable). That’s why I feel like her being a “gold-digger” is sort of irrelevant. Lots of people marry and bear children for money–it’s just bad luck for the partner if they didn’t know that beforehand.

  68. pookie says:

    @Whatever – right on! God, I feel like we need to have a freakin FAQ or Etiquette Guide when posting on this specific topic. “People have the right to point out Oksana’s bad decisions, bad choices, and it doesn’t mean that their siding with Mel, or that they think Mel is anything other than a horrible f-cking monster.” – from Kaiser’s post.

    Yes, this has been discussed AD NAUSEUM. Those who get it have been able to discuss rationally, those who don’t, never will.

  69. Cooper says:

    Are you people for real? Unless you know factually what her motivations were for being with him, you should refrain from judgment on that count. It is not pertinent to the abuse anyway. And her reasons for being in the relationship are her private business not yours. At least equally discuss his exploitation of her. It doesn’t change a thing about the legal and criminal issues of his abuse. That’s all that matters. And legal and criminal issues are not decided on subjective personalized impressions of strangers, or on something that once happened to a distant family relative. Yikes.

  70. Drew says:

    #68 wrote: “Who besides a gold digger would ever get involved with Gibson after his hateful diatribe against the Jewish people? ”
    ——————————

    #68, Well for starters, all of Hollywood, his wife, his Jewish publicist, lawyers, other alleged mistresses, the sheriffs who allegedly deleted the anti-semitism from the report, and more. You can’t have it both ways. Everyone excused his words as a liquor fueled aberration. Clearly it wasn’t. You’re going to fault this woman for that? You really have it in for this woman. You can irrationally hate on her & seem determined to bend every everything to fit your hate, but you are starting to seem creepy.

  71. Statler says:

    @Julia- I agree with you to a point; I think MG knew what Oksana was but never expected to lose Robyn. For which he blamed & abused Oksana rather than taking responsibility.

    For the rest, I’d say it depends on the target & how sharp their minds are. If they truly ‘know the score’ the gold digger isn’t likely to get much of a foothold- so aside from the relationship being embarrassing, it really wouldn’t be a problem. But you’d be surprised how naive older people can be. It’s very sad; they come from a different time & culture really, and were much more sheltered than we are in many ways.

    @Drew- BOOO!!! (scary face)

    You don’t deserve a serious response.

  72. pookie says:

    @Julia – I agree, he probably knew that she could have been hooking up with him because of his money/connections. But this comment is where I have to disagree: “Lots of people marry and bear children for money–it’s just bad luck for the partner if they didn’t know that beforehand.”

    I don’t take that as any kind of a small thing. How is it ok to knowingly bring a child into the world when you aren’t really loving your partner, but just using them? And knowing that it could most likely end very badly, and probably in divorce? I mean, when people have babies that don’t love each other, how often does it work out really really great? So for a woman to say “god, I really need some money, I am going to get knocked up by a rich actor/singer/athlete and hit my pay day!!” – well, yeah, that just sickens me to the core. If you ask me that is absolutely NO better than physically hurting another person. You have created a precious innocent LIFE just so you can get PAID?!? You aren’t even thinking of their future, their well-being, their happiness…just what it does for YOU. And there’s really nothing at all wrong with that? I truly don’t see how that is any better than abusing an adult that can at least LEAVE. What choice does the baby have? Arrrggghhh…I am going to take a thousand flaming arrows for this post.

    Sigh. I am NOT SAYING as a fact or even necessarily as an opinion that this is what Oksana did. BUT, I think this is why so many people are heated about this issue and why they are not so quick to feel sympathy for her.

  73. 6 says:

    “Is Robyn Gibson publicly supporting Mel for the money?”
    Yes. Yes. And I think, um, Yes!

  74. Jordan says:

    @pookie, you stated that her taunts push him to violence, and define her taunts as publicly humiliating him. try reading your own posts. It’s fruitless trying to talk reason to hysterics. As the expression goes, “Never argue with a fool, they will lower you to their level and then beat you with experience.”

  75. Pat says:

    “Pookie” does it equally sicken you when old men hook up with young women to use them?

  76. cantbelievethis says:

    The point of leaking tapes was for public awareness. Mel states on the tapes “no one will believe you”. If the tapes were not ‘leaked’ there is a big chance all this would’ve been ignored by the police. In other thread a poster said the police in that area are known for catering to celebrities. She leaked the tapes, photos, etc so it couldn’t be ignored.
    It is risky for her (and baby) either way. If she didn’t leak the tapes she ran the risk of authorities ignoring it b/c Mel is a celebrity. Leaking the tapes she risks angering him more.

    As for Robyn I have no idea. My dad never hit his 3rd wife or her daughter. He was emotionally abusive to them.

    The way I got my dad to quit hitting me is by blackmailing him. Once I was a teen I threatened to tell about his mistress. Standing up to my stepfather would’ve only made things worse. So each abuser is different (and yes, I was lucky enough to be surrounded by *ssh*ts growing up).

  77. cantbelievethis says:

    @pookie
    “I truly don’t see how that is any better than abusing an adult that can at least LEAVE. What choice does the baby have? Arrrggghhh…I am going to take a thousand flaming arrows for this post.”

    I agree with you. I have no respect for someone who intentionally brings a baby into a bad situation or for a pay off.
    I don’t think Oksana did this (I hope she didn’t). It sounds like things got bad after she got pregnant. My entire childhood was full of abuse and it is the worst way to grow up. No child deserves that.

  78. pookie says:

    @Jordan – Please find the exact quote where I said that and paste it. I know what I meant, and I know what I said. You jumped in on this thread late in the day and perhaps took something out of context. Regardless, there is no need to get pushy or nasty to another poster who has a difference of opinion. Thank you.

    @Pat – No, it does not as there are no children involved. As I stated, the notion of using a baby to get money is disgusting and in my opinion, immoral. The only reason to have a baby is to love them and care for them and give them the best life you possibly can. Not so YOU can get the best life you possibly can. And since my words are forever twisted, let me again say I am not saying that this is what Oksana did. I was responding specifically to a previous post and debating a point.

  79. cantbelievethis says:

    @jordan
    Pookie is saying that making the tapes public could push him over the edge (OJ style). I think she has a valid point b/c that is definitely a risk.

    I don’t agree with pookie on the tapes but I can see where she’s coming from. She just has a different opinion on how all this should’ve been handled. That isn’t the same as saying Oksana deserved to be abused.

  80. pookie says:

    @cantbelieve – The point of leaking tapes was for public awareness. Mel states on the tapes “no one will believe you”. If the tapes were not ‘leaked’ there is a big chance all this would’ve been ignored by the police.

    That’s a good point. I hope to hell that wouldn’t have been the case, because I’d like to believe there are still some cops in the world who actually want to protect and serve, but yeah, I can see your point there. Since I’ve never had money and influence, I forget sometimes that these guys get to live by different rules. For all of the conjecture and debating and moralizing we have done here today, let me just take a moment and say that NO ONE SHOULD SUFFER ABUSE. PERIOD. I know this topic hits home to some of the posters here, and you have my sympathies. I got mine when I was a kid from time to time, but it was no worse than any other kid on my block was getting. I don’t really know *abuse*. I am inclined to believe based on the phone calls that he did in fact do ‘something’ physical to Oksana. Not sure about the kids. I pray that the police are able to figure it all out and if he did do these things, I hope he goes to jail for it for a very very long time.

  81. Liana says:

    maybe it bothers you that she gets hot men and you don’t?
    _______________

    She got Mel Gibson… not hot.

  82. Beth says:

    Why is it everytime a celebrity gets a divorce the wife is called a golddigger? Robyn was married to Mel for 20-30 years and lived with the alcoholism, adultery, etc. You don’t go through all of that for that long for money.

  83. jane16 says:

    Great article kaiser, and lots of great comments on this thread. Pat, mimi, mymy, kitten, and others have made comments with a lot of insight. I do think mg is a total narcisscist, misogynist, racist, and thinks he is better than everyone else. I have never met Oksana, and don’t know if I would like her or not, but I think she has a right to defend herself & I also think if she hadn’t made the tapes, she would be screwed. The cops/sheriffs and general public would be unlikely to believe her and would view her as a lying golddigger (which many do now, even with the tapes). My husband, neighbors & a cousin have all told me in the past couple of days, that the people they work with (all in ent. ind.) are practically jumping up and down with glee that mg is finally being called out on who he really is, so they are all really happy with Oksana, and view her as some kind of hero, like she brought down a tyrant or something. Its weird how even in this day and age, rich, powerful men get to call all the shots, & control the dialogue.

  84. jane16 says:

    @ Liana, LOL! So true! He is not hot! Tiny, and looks really old in person.

  85. Caz1310 says:

    A lot of you are missing the point that Mel has been exposed very clearly for domestic violence and substance abuse problems. I can’t believe that so many of you are supporting him and questionning Oskana’s motives. Who would have believed her if she didn’t have proof (the tapes)? What if it was you, your mother, daughter, friend who was being subjected to such violence behind close doors. Would you be so high & mighty? All of you who support Mel need to take a good hard look at yourselves and be ashamed of your behaviour.

  86. jane16 says:

    btw, I apologize to those of you I offended yesterday. Yes, of course you have the right to not like oksana and question her motives, everyone has the right to their own opinion, and that’s what this is, an opinion forum & I love it. There was one poster yesterday whose post was so over the top, so snide, so arrogant, posting as though she were a witness to everything personal that had happened between this couple, & she/he knew everything and we didn’t, that it really pushed my buttons.

  87. Cirque28 says:

    I could seriously live without ever hearing/reading the word golddigger again in connection to Oksana. This is what HE called her. So we’re comfortable letting the abuser define the victim?

    (But feel free to revive Sugartits. That one never gets old.)

  88. jane16 says:

    I saw this on cdan, who got it from radar. Mels texts to oksana the next day:

    JANUARY 7, 2010 — 3:25PM

    MG: Oksana, I wasn’t safe for you last night. I spent two hours with a therapist today and have regained some perspective. What I’m telling you know if I am safe & would like to come by and make amends to you, sascha and Lucia. I won’t stay just let you say your peace and I’ll say mine. Let me know if it’s alright!

    MG: Or if it’s not.

    MG: Let me know either way.

    MG: Yes or no.

    MG: It’s important that I apologize to sascha before he goes.

    MG: Please respond one way or another.

    OG: I have two broken front teeth and a concussion. I can not c u today, I’m hurting. U can apologize to Sacha some other time.

    MG. Did you get them fixed yet?

    MG: When can I see you?

    MG: I need to see you this evening & then I promise I’ll leave you alone
    for as long as you want

    MG: If only for 10 minutes.

    MG: Please.

  89. “Robyn’s entitled to half Mel’s worth, whether he treated her like a princess or a punchbag, so she has nothing to gain by protecting him if he was abusive towards her. SHE holds all the cards in their pay-off negotiations. I do believe that he was a cheating, drinking, lying a**hole during their marriage, but I also believe that she considers him to be a good father to their children – who, apart from one DUI have kept out of trouble – and it’s them whose privacy she wishes to maintain by nipping any media speculation in the bud. She’s always struck me as a lady who ruled the roost, not some helpless Stockholm-syndromed victim.”–Miranda

    *bows*

  90. original kate says:

    i think it is ridiculous to speculate on why robyn stayed with mel through his cheating, tirades and (possible) abuse. she obviously had her reasons, and it is none of our business, just as it is none of our business why oksana stayed with him. instead of asking why the women stay with mel we should ask why he is so violent. this whole thread is really insulting to both robyn and oksana by questioning their motives. FAIL.

  91. jane16 says:

    He’s had more than one DUI, and has had many drunken rages in restaurants and movie sets over the years. I don’t get the “kept out of trouble” comment. Its true that Hollywood has a “code”, like police depts do, and generally keeps its secrets under wraps, but mg has had many public outbursts over the years.

  92. Liana says:

    I remember my ex-boyfriend telling me quite some time ago that on a set once, Gibson punched a hole in a prop wall because the director would not change a line Gibson wanted changed. He let loose a string of obscenities and told the director he would “ruin him.” Then, after a break, he was back on set acting like nothing had happened. Mike was surprised, having thought Gibson was an easygoing good guy. Other crew members quickly disabused him on that notion, stating that Gibson was “kind of a jerkoff.”

    Now, I heard this YEARS ago, probably at least 10 years ago considering Mike and I broke up in 2001.

  93. Whatever says:

    I can’t believe that so many of you are supporting him and questionning Oskana’s motives.

    I can’t believe that so many still cannot understand that questioning her motives is NOT THE SAME as supporting him!

  94. Whatev says:

    Mel Gibson’s behavior shows he needs counselling. However, so does a woman who airs her dirty laundry to millions of people and puts the situation onto a world stage before consulting a lawyer.

    I don’t doubt Mel Gibson was abusive verbally. However, I have my doubts of physical abuse. That aside, I make no excuses for his behavior and feel he needs to suffer the consequences of his actions.

    But, so does Oksana. Just because someone is yelled at during a phone call conversation does not warrant the damage she has done to his career. If an abused girlfriend went speaking calmly yet loudly into a boyfriend’s workplace advertising the abuse how seriously would you take that person? Moreover, would you trust this person with a child? In ordinary person terms that is kind of what she has done. Although she certainly didn’t need to necessarily go to the police I’m sure she could have found a darn good lawyer to protect her with the promise of a percentage of the settlement. This is Mel Gibson, worth millions. I’m positive she could have found a nice and powerful Jewish lawyer to take the case.

    The only person in this whole drama that deserves to be considered is the child. And, this all sounds like it’s the child these two are fighting over. As a result, they are both dragging the other’s name through the mud. The difference is that Oksana kind of ruined her own reputation while ruining Mel Gibson’s. People may feel sorry for her and pity her, but few truly respect her. Those who do seem to be supporting her sympathize with her because of abuse in their own backgrounds rather than because they have examined the facts.

    A judge won’t confuse sympathy with the facts. If Oksana doesn’t start thinking and stop reacting emotionally she will lose her child permanently. And that is why Mel Gibson is keeping his mouth shut, I think. He doesn’t seem to care about the bad publicity. He wants the daughter. He went to a lawyer immediately. And a good one.

    This is why Oksana’s behavior confuses me. No woman whose sole concern was the custody of a child would go to RadarOnline to initiate a smear campaign before going to a lawyer. Oksana’s motives, well, what are they? To try to blackmail him is one thing but what does she have to gain by initiating the smear campaign? Mel Gibson’s reputation hasn’t been positive in a long time.

  95. jane16 says:

    I have to say I like her much more than previously & admire her for taking charge and getting evidence and hope this gives other abused women courage to take a stand against their abusive spouse. At my husbands work, people are referring to her as Queen Oksana! My sister was married to an abusive bi-polar jerk. She kept it “private” becuz she thought that was the “classy” thing to do. When they went for counseling at their church, guess whom the leaders of the church blamed? Thats right, my sister. Our society for some reason, always blames the woman, thinks she did something to deserve it. That’s what my sis told me her pastor said to her, “well, what did you do to set him off?” Also, in their divorce, she got screwed both ways to hell. Somehow, he ended up keeping her house! That she had bought and paid for before she married him. By this point, she didn’t care, she just wanted to be free from him and their church. This was about a dozen years ago, and she has been in therapy and on meds ever since. I say, Go Oksana, go! I hope this starts a new wave of abused women standing up to their oppressors.

  96. Cirque28 says:

    @jane16: Those texts are mind-boggling. This is my experience with an abuser– much of it word for word.

    “MG: When can I see you?

    MG: I need to see you this evening & then I promise I’ll leave you alone
    for as long as you want

    MG: If only for 10 minutes.”

    Gibson wants to regain control. He talks about amends, but it’s really about HIS therapy, HIS timetable, HIS needs. He throws Oksana a bone by asking about her teeth, but there’s no sense of real empathy.

    A person who is truly sorry takes the FIRST opportunity to apologize, and not, “You must see me so I can apologize. Afterwards your needs will be met, promise!” A person who is truly sorry would say, “Are you OK? Are the kids OK? I’ll do things on your terms, when you’re comfortable, even if that’s never.”

    People do sometimes recover from being abusers, but not with Gibson’s attitude and ego. Let’s hope the next woman stays well away from that rose garden.

  97. Sincerity says:

    @Maria, Miranda, Whatever & Uzi

    I really enjoyed your posts! You’ve made some very good points.

    @Uzi, Bellaluna, Pookie & Whatev

    Your posts simply rock! Bellaluna I’m so glad that you pointed out that there isn’t “a one size fits all” category for both abusers and their victims. Everyone’s experiences are different as well as their “levels of tolerance”. I have known both victims and abusers who are actually able to sit down with one another and have rather friendly conversations with each other. You’ll be surprised what the passage of time and forgiveness can do to improve a person’s outlook on life. Just because a person has dealt with some very nasty experiences in life doesn’t mean they have to spend the rest of their life “living there”.

    Whatev: you’re absolutely right! It’s the judge’s responsibility to “objectively” review all of the evidence presented to the court and determine its validity in regard to the case in question. Oksana is a somewhat “opportunistic” person who has shown little regard for our legal system. She can’t possibly expect it to work in her favor by not respecting and obeying it. She set a series of events into motions that she may regret and could cost her much more than she bargained for.

    As for you posters who question the motivations of Mel Gibson’s family and their support, would you expect your OWN family to do any less? Abandoning a family member in their time of need isn’t what FAMILY is all about.

  98. nelson says:

    duh! hello, mel baby runs his own church and shit.

    he is the xenu of his church.

    and robyn shut her mouth and looked at the bank account through ALL those years when mel dipped his toes in other pools.

    and i heard she is a abit of the holy water friend, so she loves herself abit of the nectar juice :)

  99. Madison says:

    Those who do seem to be supporting her sympathize with her because of abuse in their own backgrounds rather than because they have examined the facts.
    ————————-

    The majority do seem to be women with abusive stories to tell, they are reliving their own experiences through oxana and mel. They are oxana and mel is their abusive ex husband/ex boyfriend. I understand all the hate and revenge they have for Mel, I’m sure I’d feel the same way if I had ever been through what they have. I have a family member whose husband was a violent alcoholic, eventually she found the courage to leave him but the weird thing is when he died from liver failure many years later, she went to his funeral and cried.

  100. frewt says:

    Kaiser, there is more to Mel than just ‘Oksanagate’. There is the anti- semitic rantings when he was arrested, there is the life long alcoholism and philandering, there is the episode where he abused a female reporter who dared question the authenticity of his movie (that amazonian jungle thingy). Add to all that,the interview I saw with him a COUPLE OF DECADES ago when even then, he came off as a chauvinistic, right wing hypocrite. I’m afraid Mel has always been a Wanker of the highest order, its just that once upon a time, every one was blinded by his dazzling blue eyes. End of Story.

  101. Cirque28 says:

    @Whatev: Having an abusive past does not make it difficult to examine the facts.

    @Madison: I don’t see any women here imagining they are Oksana and an ex is Gibson. That sounds delusional! And I don’t see “all the hate and revenge” you’re referring to. IMO, personal stories of abuse have been brought up because Oksana’s truthfulness and motives have been repeatedly called into question.

    So, for instance, when someone comments, “Oksana’s a liar because that’s not even what it would be like,” naturally someone else who has experienced abuse might feel inclined to say, “Actually, I’ve had this experience and that IS what it’s like.”

  102. Crash2GO2 says:

    @Cirque28: Thank you, thank you for continuing to hang in here and reply intelligently and fairly to these posts. It is more than I can do. YOU do my heart good.

  103. gg says:

    I think Robyn probably has Stockholm Syndrome and actually feels sorry for the madman because nobody else does.

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  106. So why did the burglar leave this business after 7 years of success? Did he find a more lucrative career?