Ashton Kutcher likes to pee outside everywhere & has webbed feet

I used to think that Demi Moore was so lucky to have landed a hot piece of ass like Ashton Kutcher, particularly after being married to Bruce Willis. Now it seems like he should be grateful to have found someone who will tolerate him and his strange habits. He recently revealed that he likes to pee outside practically everywhere, and as a mother of toddlers it sounds to me like he needs toilet training.

The Dude, Where’s My Car? funnyman admits he likes to join his dogs when they empty their bladders in the morning outside the home he shares with his wife Demi Moore.

And he blames his weird toilet habit on his desire to bond with the earth and feel like a “caveman”.
He says, “I pee outside, outside my house, in my yard. I usually start off my day by taking my dogs out. While they go, I go.

“That’s probably my least appealing habit. I just feel like I’m connecting with nature, I bond and feel like caveman. Man, tents, cave, pee, bush.”

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The tabloids have been speculating that Demi Moore would like to have a baby with husband Ashton, but I think they’re wrong – after three girls, she must be terrified of having a boy that takes as long to get out of nappies as his father.

She might also be worried that the child inherits its father’s webbed feet.

The What Happens in Vegas star took his socks and shoes off on Friday Night With Jonathon Ross to confirm he has abnormal toes.

He said: “I have slightly webbed toes. When everything else is this good-looking, something has to give!”

Actually, everybody starts out with webbed toes in utero and they come apart as the baby develops, so its very common to have webbed feet, but I don’t really feel like cutting Ashton any slack today.

Last month he revealed his first sexual experience was awful.

He said: ‘It was out in the woods and it was horrible. It was a girl I’d just met who my buddy set me up with. The whole thing lasted like two seconds. It was really awkward. Two years later, I had sex with her again just to show her that the first performance was a fluke and I’d got much better.’


Okay, so that little revelation refers to a time in the distant past, and we can only assume that he has improved sexually. Why else would Demi put up with his creepy webbed toes and antisocial toileting habits?

Just in case you weren’t sure that he is indeed not a desirable man, here’s a little article he wrote for Harper’s Bazaar, where he manages to come off like a total dick in his list of things that make a woman attractive. Here’s a snippet: “Women who wear big blingin’ stones don’t look like they have a lot of money; they look like they have a lot of someone else’s money.”

Ashton, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but women earn their own money now, some of them even get paid more than men.

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15 Responses to “Ashton Kutcher likes to pee outside everywhere & has webbed feet”

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  1. summertime921 says:

    haha, the headline looks like something little kids say when they are teasing each other.

  2. Bodhi says:

    I’ve been known to pee outside & I have webbed feet. Demi & Ashton can have each other. He is beyond annoying & self-absorbed & she is just as self-obsessed. Ugh

  3. Lola Lola says:

    “Women earn their own money now, some of them even get paid more than men.” Well said Helen!

  4. Michelle says:

    My step dad likes to pee outside, I think it is a wierd hick guy thing, and Ashton is a hick. Isn’t he from like Wyoming or Wisconsin or someplace kind of out there?

  5. Other Karen says:

    If you have really webbed feet, the docs usually separate the toes without even asking the parents.

  6. Jody says:

    My husband too likes to pee outside while he’s taking our dogs out.

    Men are such strange creatures.

  7. number 4 says:

    not true, Karen……I also have webbed feet, and the doctor didn’t separate them w/o asking the parents…..I also was born in the ’60s, so maybe it was more of an issue back then.

  8. piedlourde says:

    DO NOT badmouth The Bruce! I’ve had an unhealthy Oedipal crush on him since the age of, say, seven when I first saw Die Hard. Peepaw is still yummers!

    (Don’t give me that “bad parenting” speech, I grew up allright.) :roll:

  9. mollination says:

    I pee outside sometimes. No big deal. I DO NOT have webbed feet though.

    I think he was talking about those ostentatious women who drive escalades and have a down payment (or more) on their finger as though it’s a sign of love or class. It’s a sign of materialism and narcisism.

  10. Sasha says:

    Baseball bat to the side of the head will save the world from Ashton Kutcher. He’s cute, but a mental black hole- has a thing for liver spots too, I guess.

  11. elisa says:

    I read the whole article he wrote, and there’s actually a lot I agree with. The jewelry part was the worst. I wouldn’t hate Ashton based on that quote.

    (I would, however, hate Ashton based on his inane giggles on “Punk’d,” and his sometimes mean-spirited tricks. Still, given that I’ve only ever watched 2 episodes, I don’t care enough to hate him).

  12. DissentingVoice says:

    When we go to our house in the country, my son and I pee outside quite a bit. It has more to do with being out and exploring the property and not wanting to go back inside.

    Who am I kidding? I also do outside of my home in the big city. Before I go out for a run, I realize that I didn’t empty myself and go on the side of the house.

    You women are just jealous because we can. Between that and not having a glass ceiling, being a guy is pretty cool.

  13. KF says:

    I love to pee outside, too. I have been doing it ever since I was 12 years old. I think it is a guy thing. You can watch the long arc of urine & see how far you can shoot it. I love the fact of being able to drain out in the yard.

  14. JO says:

    Why would I “hate” Ashton Kucher? I’ve never even met the guy. Personally, think someone who “has to pee outside everywhere” sounds pretty damned funny!!!

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