Love and Corgan in 2006
I can’t help but be addicted to Courtney Love’s myspace blog, even though I can barely understand it. Since she claims her alternate personality Cherry Kookoo is blogging for her now and aliens are trying to steal her money and dogs live in her socks, she skipped the myspace this week and sent a message to Billy Corgan through Perez Hilton’s website. Because she can’t be bothered to find Billy’s number or can’t work out how to dial a phone.

In the missive written entirely in CAPS she rants that Billy Corgan needs to come to her daughter’s sweet 16 birthday party, or her ninth birthday party, or marry Gerard Way and skip their honeymoon to come to her daughter’s birthday party. I’m not quite sure which.

corgan

im at work and too tired to find you or geta number you havent sent me out of whatever misguided shame thing your going through thats a private comnversation however YOU DO NOT MAKE CHILDREN CRY.

GEARRD WAY WHO WOULD DO IT IN FIVE SECONDS AND HAS EVEN ASKED AND BEGGED EVEN FOR HIS BANDMATE TO NOT HAVE HIS HONEY MOON THAT TIME MADE SURE TO PROMISE TO BE THERE A SWEET SIXTEEN IS A BIG EVENT I THINK SHE L;OOKED UPON YOU AS FAMILY , I KNOW SHE DID AS TRUSTWORTHY AND WISE AND YOU CANT LAY THAT BIG MAN SHIT ON A CHIDL OF 9 AND OF FORTY -MY CHLILD SOBBING DUE TO YOU IS UNACCEPTABLE, I HATE STATIBNG THIS ON SOME RANDOM PUBLIC FORUM BUT THE LINE IS THE KID MAN, THE LINE IS THE KID, AND SHE DOESNT GET TO SHED TEARS OVER YOU, HER FAMILY ALREADY HAS DONE THAT DO FROPM NOW ON AND TRUST ME SHE WONT EVER CALL YOU AGAIN, YOU CAN SPEAK TO ME IF SPEAKMING TO MY FAMILY AND ILL PASS IT ON. WICH WONT HAPPEN EITHER DUE TO THIS ABSURD SHAME YOUR HAVING I WAS AND WONT EVER SAY ANYTHING OF NEGETAIVE CONTENT PUBLIICALLY ABOUT YOU - BUT YOU MAKE MY 14 YEAR OLD CHILD SOB ON PURPOSE, THATS ENOUGH OF YOU,.

YOUYR THE LAST MAN ON THE ISLAND YET YOU DOBNT UNDERSTAND HOW COME THEYRE ALL SO ALIENATING.

HUBRIS MY DEAR HUBRIS ON A LEVEL IVE NEVER KNOWN THE FRENZY OF RENOWN YOU MISS SO TERRIBLY JUST ADMIT IT ACCEPT IT AND LET IT GO IN THEMEANTIME DONT MAKE MY KID OR ANYONES KID CRY AGAIN I THINK MY CHEM ARE DOI NG IT ANYWAY FRANCES BEANS SWEET SISXTEENS IS BLOODY IMPORTANT TO HER AND TO ME.

COURT

Perez Hilton: there is a translation on this site also, that makes about as much sense as the original.

I think what she’s trying to say, and I’ve now started drinking and squinting to help me work it out, is that her 14-year-old daughter is planning a birthday party for her 16th birthday. Which is kind of strange because Frances Bean is 15 years old. Courtney thinks that Billy Corgan is a man of 40 years (or 49 years?) who should know that the Love-Cobain family think of him as family, and that Frances cried because he won’t be there. Even though, like every other emo teen on the planet, she has replaced the angsty musings of Smashing Pumpkins with the angsty musings of My Chemical Romance.

I think if I was a 40-year-old man I’d skip out on the emo 16-year-old birthday party, and if Courtney Love started referring to me as her family, I’d fly to Fiji and hide out for a while. Would you like to join the Love-Cobain family? Those are some powerful genetics.

Note by Celebitchy: Love and Corgan used to live together about two years ago and were reportedly engaged before that. Her rep claimed they weren’t together at the time and were living in separate wings of her house.