OK! Mag: Eric Johnson’s K-Fed-ness embarrasses Jessica Simpson

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OK! Magazine has an absolutely hilarious story in this week’s print edition. It’s all about how Jessica Simpson is embarrassed by Eric Johnson! Not the other way around – Farty McCorndog isn’t embarrassing Eric, HE is embarrassing HER. Because he’s like K-Fed. Or the “ballet K-Fed”. Eric needs a catch-phrase too… “the football K-Fed”. Something like that. Anyway, apparently Jessica is coming to the slow realization (her only kind of realization) that Eric is jobless and that she pays for everything, and that if they get married, it will probably only get worse. What’s especially funny is the story about how Eric got all judgy about Jessica wanting to buy a $4000 Fendi bag. It’s her money, bitch. She can spend it how she wants!

If Eric Johnson is going to marry Jessica Simpson, he’d better learn the importance of an “It” bag. The couple went shopping in the Fendi store in Aspen over New year’s, and a fellow shopper spotted them looking at several $4,000 bags.

“Her fiancé made a comment that he didn’t get what made the bag so expensive – it was just a name – and why did she need it?” the eyewitness says. “Jess rolled her eyes and gave him a dirty look. She tried to laugh it off in front of the salesperson, but you could tell she was mortified.”

It wasn’t the first time Eric embarrassed her. In fact, Eric got so drunk at one of Aspen’s trendiest restaurants, he literally fell to the street as he stumbled out. And even after that, much to Jessica’s chagrin, Eric went on to drink at another restaurant.

And while the couple seems to be in love, his lack of sophistication, style and funds seems to put up a barrier between them. While Eric was once an NFL football player, his career was plagued with injuries and short-lived. Now he’s jobless and Jessica’s fashion business made almost a billion dollars last year.

Jessica is beginning to grow concerned because she pays for everything in the relationship. A source even says: “Jessica wants a super huge wedding, so that means it will be up to her to put up the cash.”

But other friends are concerned that Jess may be realizing she’s made a mistake with Eric.

“The thing is, as much as Jess could not wait to get engaged, she hasn’t actually set a date yet, not has she begun to make plans,” says the source. “It makes you wonder if the wedding will actually come off, or if Jess will get tired of paying the bills and look for a man who is more of a financial equal.”

[From OK Magazine, print edition]

I have two big reasons why I think this report isn’t the whole truth. First, the story about Eric being drunk off his ass. If that happened (probably), it was likely because he was trying to keep up with Jessica and her extremely high tolerance for liquor. Secondly, Jessica isn’t going to call off the wedding. She just isn’t. Let’s be honest, here. She isn’t.

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Photos courtesy of Fame.

 

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59 Responses to “OK! Mag: Eric Johnson’s K-Fed-ness embarrasses Jessica Simpson”

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  1. brin says:

    Funny story but I think you are right Kaiser, it’s probably not true (mainly because OK isn’t too reliable).
    Love the last picture…looks like she’s
    thinking about what to have for lunch…bison or venison?

  2. December says:

    Call of the wedding and let Nick have the last laugh?

    NEVER!!!!! With Jessica it’s all about image.

    Plus, I doubt the dude even cares how much her purses are. He knows good and well that Jessica has plenty of money and she’s his sugar mama. He’s not going to say anything about amount of money she spends. He may not be bright but he’s not stupid.

  3. LindyLou says:

    I’m sure most of us would like to see Jess realize what a leech Eric is, but in reality we all know this man is going to skip away with half of her stuff after the divorce.

  4. BRE says:

    Funny, the purse comment sounds like something Nick would have said to her, I can believe that part of the story.

  5. HEB says:

    I’m surprised I haven’t read anything about her being all upset about Tony’s engagement-let alone Nick’s. You’d think she’d be really upset about Tony because that would have been a “more equal” wedding, and it would have been good for her image too. Star quarterbacks>injured list

  6. Sandy says:

    Didn’t somebody recently name this woman a fashion icon? Wow. The head band is making me nauseous.

  7. candy says:

    They look very mismatched in the attire department. She’s in a formal black dress get up while he’s wearing small blue checkered shirt with shiny blueish jacket and navy pants? They don’t match very well. The look on her face is priceless. Poor guy is way out of his league and knows it.

  8. Marjalane says:

    The headband and leopard bag are tragic. God forbid she should call off this worthless marriage plan to football k-fed and save herself a few million; Think of all the purses she could buy with that extra cash. In fact, if she wanted to, she could buy herself a much better looking boytoy as well.

  9. Becky R says:

    Maybe she wants to get married for all the wrong reasons. Rule #1: sort out all the WRONG guys.

  10. Jacq says:

    Shecoukd have figured all of this out if she had dated him and actually got to KNOW him before they got engaged. I bet she doesn’t know his last name.

  11. Sumodo1 says:

    Here’s how Jess got engaged: Papa Joe arranged a date for her and it got beyond his control. Watch for this to come unglued after Valentine’s Day. BTW, Jessica is waiting for Nick to announce his wedding date so she can throw shade on it by making HER wedding the week before, that is, if Papa Joe doesn’t pull the plug on “Football K-Fed” first.

  12. Leona says:

    why do rich celebrities who date someone with a regular income rather just pay for the other person instead of adjusting their lavish lifestyle to accommodate the reality of the relationship? and then they whine about people mooching off them…

  13. Hautie says:

    I have issue’s with the boyfriend making comments about what she is buying.

    Yes, it probably is a ridiculous purse.

    But it is her cash.

    Not his.

    And if she really has a fraction of that allege billion, her clothing line made. Then she can buy all the 4000.00 purses she wants.

    Granted as a man with no income, 4000.00 is alot of cash.

    But I suspect if he really wanted to work, he could.

    So lounging on her time and money and living in her house… he needs to zip it about how she spends her cash.

  14. NayNay says:

    I think no matter what, she will go on with the wedding. She is too desparate to be alone.

  15. fabgrrl says:

    I’m offended that $4000 purses even exist.

  16. dread pirate cuervo says:

    I don’t see that as an embarassing comment about the purse. He didn’t say it b/c he’s low-class, he said it b/c he’s a guy. That is just a dude comment. I wouldn’t want a guy who was so fancy that he could debate the finer points of high end accessories. I bet he is growing tired of the bourgeois piggie & she’s trying to save face before the break-up. I give them 6 more weeks.

  17. Happymom says:

    Dread is right-it was a guy comment for sure. Also-I have to laugh at the quotes about HIS “lack of sophistication”. He may be the football KFed, but he is from a wealthy family and went to Yale. I really doubt he is the “unsophisticated” one in this relationship.

  18. GIrlyGIrl says:

    I wonder if he’s upset with Jessica going all “Crazy Chubby Hooker” on him?

    (see first pic)

  19. Zelda says:

    WHO IS BUYING THIS TACKY WOMAN’S CLOTHING?!

  20. njnick says:

    I can believe the purse part of the story too but I doubt she was mortified. Us guys for the most part are confused by girls needing several thousand dollar purses. I know I have said it jokingly on occassion. These tabloids are just so overly dramatic – Jess was mortified, give me a break.

  21. nina says:

    Since the Newlyweds took off (much to everyones surprise)..especially Jessicas..she has learned how to manipulate the media and control her image so she can remain relevant..she Never spelled it out..but she left Nick to become a ‘movie star’ or as her father put it ‘the next Julia Roberts’ when that didnt work out she all of a sudden wanted to be a ‘country music star’ that didn’t work..she only fooled herself because when the newlyweds took off as it did people knew the most she could get out of it was a successful
    ‘brand’ ie. clothes and shoes with her name on it..and all these years later thats basically what shes succeeded at eventually..having a ‘brand’ and millions and her name still in the spotlight which in the end is what its all about isnt it ..so now to keep that ‘brand name’ up shes still gotta play the media game thats all shes about, image and playing the media..she will settle with Eric for business purposes and whatever happens after that happens..as long as people keep buying her stuff keeping her bank account fat and her name and face out their thats really her main concern. She shouldn’t have kicked Nick to the curb as she did, she would’ve still had her ‘brand’ regardless and all this bad press night and day everywhere wouldn’t have been. Frankly tired of her still being in the press all these years for the same thing.

  22. KJ says:

    His “LACK OF SOPHISTICATION?!”

    Buuuuurrn. How does it feel to be not sophisticated enough for Jessica Simpson?

    And I am embarrassed by that stupid outfit she’s wearing. Pattern leggings are not for girl’s with Jess’ thickness. They’re for girls with little to no curve who actually need the extra help looking meatier.

  23. citysuede says:

    I hate to say this, but I kind of get that. I wouldn’t want to marry a man who didn’t understand why I NEED a new Louis Vuitton bag or why I NEED and LV wallet to go into that bag. Or someone that needed an explanation of why high thread count sheets are better. However, this can be taught….if you are willing to put a couple of years into it.
    Jessica – you should never date anyone who makes less money than you do. Although at the level she is at kind of narrows the playing field.
    OK – now you can rip me to shreds about the LV needs….

  24. flutters says:

    Am I the only one entertaining the possibility this is a deliberate leak from Daddy Simpson to set the stage for what he hopes will be a break up?

  25. the original bellaluna says:

    @ fabgrrl – THANK YOU! I don’t care WHOSE name is on it or WHAT it’s made of – for $4K, that purse better keep my annual calendar, make (and remind me of) ALL of my appointments for the year, and be a chameleon so it matches ALL my outfits; it must also change shape to comply with the current trends!

  26. Moreaces says:

    Did she think they were going to wake up one morning and he was going to have millions in the bank that some fairy left behind,, Im still floored that she is worth a billion dollars.

  27. I thought she looked quite nice in the black outfit.

  28. SarahS says:

    Good lord. She’s embarrassed by him, but not that headband?

  29. malachais says:

    I would actually grow to like her if she broke off the engagement. A lot of people would. Snap back to reality Jessica!

  30. t says:

    I’m with #21nina. The relationship is a business arrangement designed to keep her name in the press, so she can hang onto her licensing deal. Maybe the guy that owns her name was feeling cheated for only getting stories about her farts and numerous men and record labels dumping her after paying her millions for a name he thought would generate some positve press for merchandise.

    Since this Eric is on the payroll, the Simpsons control the stories about this relationship. He can’t embarrass her by dumping her like all the real boyfriends have.

    Maybe this made-for-the-tabloids “relationship” is a vehicle to attempt to repair her image as desperate and needy by having her dump him, and like flutters said, Joe is behind this leak as the first step.

  31. sapphire says:

    I sincerely doubt she could be “mortified” by anything. Let alone know what the word meant.

    Is the guy truly broke or is it just a question of she’s got double digit millions and his are only single?

  32. bluhare says:

    To the person who said you should never date a man who makes less money than you. I call BS. I not only dated, I married a man who made a lot less money than me, and I’ve been the main breadwinner. I couldn’t care less. He’s more than held up his end of the bargain in terms of a marriage partner, and I would say has been more considerate and present than most of the men I dated who were successful and made a good living. It’s all in your attitude.

  33. Cyui says:

    @Moreaces
    She is not worth a billion dollars ..her brand is…supposedly. I don’t believe it though. Wouldn’t Forbes state that. I just think it’s her dad…pushing that lie out there. I’m sure she is worth 100mill maybe….maybe a little less…maybe a little more. Has she been on any Forbes lists.

  34. MYMY says:

    I ACTUALLY FEEL SORRY FOR HER. I WAS ALL HOPING SHE WOULD LEARN HOW WRONG SHE WAS TO DIVORCE NICK AND GET A LIFE LESSON. BUT THIS IS AN AWFUL ONE. THIS MAN IS A LOSER.

  35. Crash2GO2 says:

    Jeeze, I think he asked a perfectly legitimate question! What the hell DOES make a fucking purse worth $4,000.00 dollars??!! She should listen to him – his perspective would be good for her. Although ultimately he does need to respect her decision with her money, of course.

  36. t says:

    I agree with you, #34. The source for the billion dollar empire story was the guy that owns her name, Vince Camuto. He’s the one that has to go out and sell her name as a brand to real designers and clothing manufacturers after all her bad press.

    He has to put a positive spin on it, so he issued a press release saying that despite bearing the brand “Jessica Simpson”, the line had a billion dollars in sales. Please don’t be afraid to put a name synonymous with farts on your merchandise.

    He never said she was worth a billion, just that the brand had close to a billion in sales. Just because it had a billion dollars in sales, doesn’t mean it made a profit though. If the operating expenses are greater than sales, then it wouldn’t be profitable.

    One of the operating expenses is to pay Jessica Simpson to fart. That seems like a huge waste of money. Maybe Vince Camuto getting ready to dump Jessica Simpson and that is why he is starting a line that bears his name. http://tinyurl.com/4n7qmb3

  37. skilo says:

    I hope she doesn’t go ahead with this marriage and end up like Britney did. If she goes through with the marriage, I hope she protects herself with a strong prenuptial agreement.

  38. Kim says:

    Um HELLO she is just now figuring out he is a moneyless leach?? Why would she get engaged to a guy with no job? Unless he has a lot of cash saved up which Im praying for her sake he does.

    She should cut her loss before its to late & call off the engagement now. If anything it would get her tabloid covers for a month-haha!

  39. citysuede says:

    i know, i know…about the less money comment. it does work for many, many people…i was not trying to offend anyone for whom it does work.

  40. citysuede says:

    and what makes it worth more? Quality, Quality, Quality! Hand crafting, cost of better materials. although i wouldn’t pay that for a fendi. that brand is tired.

  41. JenJen says:

    I once dumped a guy on the spot for having something to say about how much I was paying for something with MY money.It was our first and last date! Big no-no,Jo-blow!

  42. k.at says:

    They make it sound like she’s so sophisticated! Do they realize who they’re talking about? I would much rather question the price of a bag rather, than say, question if tuna is really chicken, or if buffalo wings are made out of buffalo!

  43. manda says:

    she should be embarrassed by that headband.

    he may have been commenting, passive aggressively, that she’s materialistic.

  44. Isa says:

    I don’t think he sounds like KFed. Wouldn’t KFed be asking for a 4,000 dollar pair of tennis shoes or something?

    He isn’t as rich as Jessica, so from his perspective it seems like a smart question.

    I’m going to call it, they’ll break up next summer.

  45. KC says:

    Not a Simpson fan BUT I’ve shopped online for a lot of purses. I swear…I see a cute inexpensive one and dam near every time it has HER name on it. I’m not sure what her clothing is like but she has some nice handbags. I just wish they came without the logo =/

  46. bubbles says:

    I actually feel sorry for the guy imagine going shopping with her.
    WWWWWWHHHHHYYYYYYYY bring your man purse shopping?

  47. Liana says:

    SHe’s all PocaHotMess in that headband. And I, too, don’t get why a purse needs to be 4K

  48. LondonParis says:

    “I have two big reasons why I think this report isn’t the whole truth. First, the story about Eric being drunk off his ass. If that happened (probably), it was likely because he was trying to keep up with Jessica and her extremely high tolerance for liquor. Secondly, Jessica isn’t going to call off the wedding. She just isn’t. Let’s be honest, here. She isn’t.”

    Kaiser, you’re just the best. I mean it. Every one of your posts has me cracking up. Before I get to the end to check I know you wrote it.

  49. Hahahaha says:

    “She’s all PocaHotMess in that headband.” Capital C classic, Liana. Love it.

  50. Ally says:

    Please Kaiser and Celebitchy, can you correct this rubbish in lazy news reports on J.Simp — the stuff branded with her name has sales to the tune of a billion dollars. She gets a licensing fee for the manufacture of the items by various companies. Her cut has been estimated at something like $20 million/year. Still pretty awesome for this airhead, but not a freaking billion.
    http://www.bnet.com/blog/publishing-style/how-jessica-simpson-brought-in-a-billion-dollar-fashion-bonanza/1092

    Also, “his lack of sophistication and style” — hilarious! Cause when I think Jessica Simpson, I think sophistication and style.

  51. Melly says:

    Maybe he just comes from a normal family and is taken aback that anyone would blow such money on a bag. If I could afford it, I would, but I understand how some would see it odd. This poor guy doesn’t stand a chance with the Hollywood elite…buckle up buddy, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride!!

  52. No Name Required says:

    bwahahahaha Farty McCorndog

  53. jayem says:

    Why is everyone giving them so much shit over the fact that he doesn’t have a “job” right this second?! Just because someone doesn’t have a monthly paycheck doesn’t mean they don’t have money. It’s called Savings and Investments. K-Fed was a backup dancer. This guy played football. I’m pretty sure he’s got more financial stability than freakin’ K-Fed.

    I sincerely hope she doesn’t care either way what anyone is saying.

  54. JenJen says:

    @jayem,he didn’t really play pro-football, he must have been a bench-warmer as my football fan puts it, he never heard of him.

  55. Kasey says:

    @ flutter #25
    You are NOT alone. I am here with you. I’d been wondering how come she isn’t married yet and why there hadn’t at least been news of either wedding planning or her intense wight loss efforts (although I like her with more meat on her body and love that he likes her heavier self-which sadly could be b/c he’s just a goldigger and/or b/c he’s addicted to her alleged sexual napalm).
    Short of her doing what I suspect, (working overtime trying to find the date of the
    impending Lachey/Minnilo nuptials so she can have hers the day of, day after or a few days or weeks after, which I admit would entail a certain degree of cleverness (you be the judge).
    Anyway, I could totally believe they’re prepping for her to announce a split from her precious Yalie.

  56. Abby says:

    2 things. 1 – I think the pic of her and him at the very top reminds me of Snookie. 2 – What is the black mess she has in her arms in the Poca-hot-mess pic? I’ve seen it in other pics, also.

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