Well, I’ve already covered the fashion porn from the Oscars luncheon, which was held yesterday, so it seems only fair that I should do a little Hot Guy Oscars Luncheon action. I like this because most of the guys really tried to look nice and they wore good suits and they shaved and everything. James Franco especially looks very handsome – I forgot how nice-looking he is when he shaves off that hipster junk. So, here we go – Hot Guy Oscars Luncheon!

Some of you think Mark Wahlberg is a tool. I kind of like the guy, even though his “Big Man of Hollywood” attitude grates a little. To be fair to him, he is a big deal in Hollywood these days. And he always looks nice in a suit.

John Hawkes, who is a Best Supporting Actor nominee for Winter’s Bone. I just looked him up because I wanted to know how old he is – my guess was mid-thirties. He’s 51 years old!!! And he and I have the same birthday. A Virgo who looks 15 years younger than his actual age? It’s like looking in a mirror!

Colin Firth is looking slightly jowly in these photos (especially compared to John Hawkes, who is one year older!!!) but he’s still cute as hell. I love a man who looks like he eats carbs.

Geoffrey Rush – I would hit it. I would hit it because he’s so incredibly talented, I would hit it because he’s so funny and personable and cool, and mostly I would hit it because of that marvelous hat.

Jeff Bridges – he looks so distinguished! He really is such a handsome man – and he’s aging so beautifully. Did anyone else watch his PBS “American Masters” special? It was wonderful!

Jesse Eisenberg – you’re talented, BUT CHANGE YOUR HAIR. For the love of God.

Javi, oh my Javi. I love you. I know you’re probably a surly jag, but I still love you.

Much like Franco, Jeremy Renner looks worlds better when he shaves. He’s so cute! My little pocket boyfriend.

I adore Mark Ruffalo. I was trying to convince CB to watch Zodiac because she wants to see more of his (good) films. He’s so goofy and sexy!

Photos courtesy of WENN.