Dane Cook sure has a funny version of reality. It seems like most celebs think the world operates in a way that is uniquely focused on them. To be fair, we all do this a bit, but celebrities often have this notion reinforced. Cook is no exception. He was evicted from his apartment by a judge because he failed to clean up after his constantly pooping dog. The other tenants didn’t appreciate it, so they took action. And not surprisingly, the court sided with Cook.

However the comedian is fighting back – and using humor as his defense. Probably because that’s the only one he’s got. He claims humorous spirits haunt his apartment – not in the literal way, but in the inspiring way. And he’ll lose his joke mojo if he moves.

After a judge ruled to evict Cook from his Hollywood apartment last month because nobody picked up after the comic’s crap-happy dog, Dane has decided to fight the decision with one of the most bizarre legal arguments we’ve ever heard –- that Belushi and Martin’s supernatural leftovers have a serious affect on his career.

Cook claims he only rented the apartment in the first place because his heroes, Belushi and Martin, used to live in the same complex back in the day, and according to the court docs filed in L.A. County Superior Court, he would suffer serious “mental and emotional” damage — and his career would crumble — if he was forced to leave. In the docs, Cook claims, “I know that the presence of those that have lived there before me affects me deeply and provides me with inspiration.”

Cook went on to say, “In the same way that writers can get writer’s block, comedians can really easily run out of ideas and ‘stories’; I am extremely frightened that this will happen to me if I am forced to move out of my apartment. I’ve seen it happen to other comics, that something interferes with their connection to their creative muse, and it’s destroyed careers.”

In the three pages of desperate begging and pleading for the judge to hear his appeal, Cook also adds that he will cut a $40,000 check to the owner of the apartment ASAP to cover all of the suffering that his dookie-droppin’ doggie has caused, if he is allowed to stay.

No word if Cook channeled Belushi to pen this appeal -– but it did smell suspiciously like a bottle of Jack Daniels.

[From TMZ]

I appreciate artistic temperaments and creative are fickle forces, and everyone has their own way of finding inspiration. But I swear to God this better be a joke, and just some lame last-ditch effort to stay in his pad. Honestly, I don’t think it is. Either Cook really believes this stuff or is pretending to believe it. Considering all the bullshit the judge didn’t buy from him before, I can’t imagine he’d go for anything now.

On the other hand, I can’t figure out why it’s so important he stay in this particular apartment, and why Cook would fight so hard instead of just move. I’m not going to say he’s a comedic genius or anything close to it, but maybe he does believe there’s something about that place. Maybe he just associates it with a productive time in his life and that subconsciously helps him out. Either way, I think a U-Haul is in order.

Dane Cook is shown performing on 12/1/07, thanks to PRPhotos.