Lady Gaga on early traumas: I was on “an artistic journey to f–k myself up”


Lady Gaga did an interview with rock journalist Neil Strauss for his new book, Everyone Loves You When You Are Dead. Honestly, I was expecting more rambling from Gaga about how disturbed and screwed up her privileged Manhattan childhood was, because she loves to make it sound like she grew up on the “mean streets”. But Gaga actually seems to have made an effort to confess that she’s done a lot of junk to give herself more tragedy, because tragedy = art.

Lady Gaga has offered some insight into what has shaped her into becoming the artist she is today, hinting at past “traumatic events”, but refusing to elaborate further for fear her experiences would be “twisted and turned” by the media. The controversial singer opened up to rock journalist Neil Strauss who has included a snippet of their conversation in his new book Everyone Loves You When You Are Dead, and can bring you an exclusive interview with the author.

“I asked her if she’d been through a traumatic experience when she was younger and she said yes, that it was when she was in New York and it was so terrible that she’d blocked it out,” Strauss told “She said it was so horrible that she didn’t want it in her younger fans’ heads. I think she felt that if she opened up about herself, then it would define her and that’s all anyone would ask about.”

In the book the 24-year-old singer tells Strauss: “I didn’t have a bad childhood. All of the things I went through were on my own quest for an artistic journey to f**k myself up like Warhol and Bowie and Mick, and just go for it. All of the trauma I caused to myself. Or it was caused by people that I met when being outrageous and irresponsible.”

The outspoken star went on to admit how the drug abuse of her early days still haunts her.

“Sometimes it freaks me out — or I should say it petrifies me — when I think about laying in my apartment (in New York) with bed bugs and roaches on the floor and mirrors with cocaine everywhere, and no will or interest in doing anything but making music and getting high,” she said. “I’ve had such obstacles with drugs and rejection and people not believing in me. It’s been a very long and continuous road that I love, but it’s hard to just chalk it up to myself. I have to believe there’s something greater than myself.”

And, while Gaga was clearly a constant on the Manhattan party scene, Strauss is uncertain as to whether she could be defined as a drug addict.

“She was a young artistic woman in New York in a performance artist party scene and of course she did coke,” he told “I think there’s a line between doing coke as a recreation party thing and doing coke on your own. Who knows if she was buying it on her own or using it a lot but she was able to stop herself without going to rehab or having treatment. Whether she was an addict or a very committed causal user is not clear.”

The best-selling author also believes that the wacky Poker Face singer hides behind her crazy costumes as a way to keep her personal life out of the headlines.

“I never asked her about her clothes, they’re just a distraction from the person. She’s bent on exhibitionism,” Strauss explained. “She wants to be untouchable, unreachable, inhuman… her whole motivation is, ‘I’m going to be your modern day goddess.’”

In his book Strauss details the best of his interviews with rock ‘n’ roll royalty and the elite of the acting and entertainment worlds, including Madonna, Snoop Dogg, Ozzy Obourne, Tom Cruise, Zac Efron, Prince and Britney Spears.

[From Radar]

Ugh, Gaga is exhausting. On one side, she takes responsibility for her drug use and abuse and owns up (partially) to just doing that stuff because she wanted to be hardcore, like her idols. But I still have massive problems believing this whole “origin story” of Gaga’s cocaine abuse. In previous interviews, Gaga has spun tales of her father and her beloved grandmother “saving” her from her cokehead ways and that after one particular coked-out experience, she decided to pour that energy into her art. I just don’t buy it anymore, mostly because I think Gaga is still using and abusing, and because I think she’s still a rich, privileged girl pretending to be all working-class and tough (much like Madonna).





Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

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31 Responses to “Lady Gaga on early traumas: I was on “an artistic journey to f–k myself up””

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  1. Cherry Rose says:

    Oh watch me cry a river in the pouring rain.

    The only reason she’s not telling what the whole “traumatic experience” is, is probably because it never happened and she doesn’t want to contradict herself later in the future.

    Gaga is just a fame whore, nothing more.

  2. Genevieve says:

    She can’t keep her made up experiences straight. Why do people idolize her?!?! I would never let my kids or teens emulate this

  3. Flan says:

    Don’t get the Gaga-hate. She’s more herself than 98% of all the pop singers out there (not that that is difficult to accomplish with all the post-order smiles that dominate it).

  4. Rita says:

    A working class girl, huh? Imagine a Walmart Greeter dressed in that outfit.

  5. Quest says:

    Gaga was on “an artistic journey to f–k self”

    She has been there, done that and still artistically f*cking away.

  6. Violet says:

    boring little rich girl acting out. don’t care!

  7. faye says:

    she’s not real, she’s pretentious and fake.

  8. tapioca says:

    I’m with CherryRose – the most traumatic thing that ever happened to this girl was running out of eyeliner.

  9. Marc says:

    She and what she does has nothing to do with art. She’s one big phony b*tch. I can not stand her anymore.

  10. whybenice says:

    Well at least it was an artistic journey. Not sure what planet, but artistic.

  11. irishserra says:

    Name drop much? Ugh. I don’t get what people see in her. There is no – I repeat – NO – real talent here, people. None.

  12. Kezia says:

    So true cherryrose, if anything even slightly traumatic had happened to her she’d be spouting on about it all the time. She is INCREDIBLY fake and NONE of her back story about being “Such” a misfit when you see photo’s of her in her Abercrombie hoodys and Identikit blonde highlights rings true!Fake, fake, fakery…

  13. Beatrix says:

    I have lost what little respect I had for this woman. There is NOTHING artistic about drug abuse. Speaking from experience, drug use and abuse ain’t glamorous ya’ll
    . I started doing cocaine because I was self destructive and I didn’t want to cut and stab myself anymore. I am SO FURIOUS that she’s making it seem that drugs=tragedy=art. Drugs can=tragedy=which can=DEATH. I don’t even know what else to say. This pretentious brat has no effing shame.

  14. wonderwoman21 says:

    She’s such a pathetic liar, and did she really just compare herself to Bowie, Mich Jagger, and Warhol?? Haha sounds like somebody has an ego that far outweighs their talent. She’s a flash in the pan loser with a made up background to cover her rich girl ass.

  15. Luci says:

    I love Gaga

    But I mean, she is anything but “working class”. She went to school with Paris H. and her family (italian) is very comfortably off.

  16. Karen says:

    @Genevieve – Good luck with that! The minute you tell your kids whom they should or should not idolize, watch them run to them like a moth to a flame

    @Beatrix – I will never know what is like to be addicted to drugs so all I can do is appreciate that a struggle so personal to you will cause intense feelings of anger for you when reading and interpreting Gaga’s words. From what I interpreted, she thought she could find artistic inspiration through drug use. In her defense (whether or not the story is true), she is not the first nor will she be the last high profile successful singer to have admitted going down that road. Weren’t The Beatles inspired by psychedelic drug use for some of their albums.

    I’m not trying to compare them to Gaga but lots of people have used drugs for inspiration. I don’t think it’s right (those are not my values) but I hate seeing Gaga blasted for it when she herself has said she doesn’t want to go overboard talking about it as she doesn’t want to encourage her fans to go the same route. I love her music after being among those who critized her so this article does nothing to change my appreciation of her and her music. She gets us talking about her good or bad and that’s a good thing nowadays.

  17. Amanda says:

    She always looks like she is trying so hard.

  18. Cherry Rose says:

    I also find it very hard to believe that a daughter of a wealthy family would have lived in an apartment that had bed bugs and cockroaches. I’m calling bullshit on that story.

    Probably just another story to try to make her seem more “hardcore” and “tragic”.

  19. gg says:

    Gagz – please at least get some tights that don’t have a crooked seam over your ass crack. Jeeze.

    And terrible hair, btw.

    Otherwise, luff you!

  20. original kate says:

    another rich white girl who pretends to “slum it” to make herself more interesting. yeah, it doesn’t work. shut up, gaga.

  21. Jayna says:

    spare me. She’s becoming such a bore with her drama to create some tortured soul out of it all. She’s a fluffy pop star, not some deep songwriter — so far. She is delusional anymore and pretentious.

    Madonna come back. We need a proper edgy pop star.

  22. Jayna says:

    cherry rose, sure it’s true about cockroaches as a student in New York. Big deal. I lived in a big city when I was in school, and our apartment would get cockroaches because of our filthy neighbors below, is what we found out. She’s nothing special. She throws that out there like she lived in a slum. And most young people have tried drugs. Yeah, me, too, when I was young, socially. Big deal, Gaga.

  23. anon33 says:

    Kezia, ITA.

    I was on a plane over the weekend and had the VOGUE magazine with her on the cover. I was bored, so I began to read the article. And she started talking about how “misunderstood” she was and how much of an “outcast” she was at school, and I immediately thought of those HS pics!! If you google “Lady Gaga HS,” you can see that she was CLEARLY not an outcast.

    I used to really like her but after that I just can’t with her anymore. I can’t stand fakery.

  24. Samantha says:

    I used to not care one way or the other about her. But then I saw an interview with her and Sofia Vergara. She was a total bit*h the whole time.

    Now anytime I see her she’s annoying. Go away.

  25. Dahlimama says:

    I love her. I love that she dresses like a weirdo and promotes equality and love. I think there’s a difference between “fakery” and wearing armor. Her livelihood is based off of her character that she’s built. I think we can all relate to the careful construction of an image to present to the rest of the world. I don’t understand how there can be so much hate for someone who is such an advocate of fairness for everyone.

  26. Dizzybenny says:

    No f*cking way!!
    she’s more like 34.

  27. grace says:

    Art is a word used to loosely lately.
    She dresses like an idiot for ‘art’
    She does stupid things in public in the name of ‘art’
    Now she used drugs for ‘art’
    I have no idea what the word ‘art’means nowadays.

    and why would you want to expose your saggy boobs like that??? is it for ‘art’too??

  28. jover says:

    Yes anon33 I’ve seen those pics, plus everything on youtube before she became Gaga – she is a complete fake and corporate creation – and let’s face it, if she had real talent, she wouldn’t need to go this route. This schtick is so tiresome and counterfeit it’s turning many of her original fans away from her.

  29. Rio says:

    @ cherryrose “I also find it very hard to believe that a daughter of a wealthy family would have lived in an apartment that had bed bugs and cockroaches. I’m calling bullshit on that story.”

    Lol, lived in the average NYC apartment recently? It’s not only normal but not even close to a big deal to have cockroaches. Bedbugs are on the rise like you wouldn’t believe, as well- I come from a pretty privileged background and one of my apartments had the trifecta of roaches, bedbugs AND rodents!

  30. neema says:

    She’s no longer relevant, yaaay!