Hef’s newest twin girlfriends have quite the rap sheets (sorta NSFW)

I knew the qualifications for being Hugh Hefner’s girlfriend were pretty specific. You’ve got to be a certain cup size, a certain band, certain waist size, and your I.Q. can be no higher than 100. While those seem pretty strict, I didn’t realize they are literally the ONLY requirements to be Hef’s girl. Turns out your face can look more like your ass and you can have multiple assault arrests on your record and you’re still a-o.k. So basically there is a beauty from the neck down rule, but no sanity rule. Your head doesn’t count at all.

Lucky for 19-year-old twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon. They’ve given the beat down to others, to each other, and I’m guessing someday to Kendra and whoever else dares to stay in the Playboy mansion. I seriously hope they lock the grotto at night.

Karissa (left) and Kristina Shannon (right) — who have recently moved into the Playboy Mansion — were both busted by St. Petersburg, Fla. police for felony aggravated battery back in January. They both received probation and were ordered to pay restitution to the two victims.

Karissa also has a misdemeanor battery charge on her record from 2007. Atta girl!

Playboy had no comment.

[From TMZ via Evil Beet]

Karissa also beat the crap out of Kristina two months before the above assault. She kicked Kristina in the face, which really isn’t all that surprising. Though both girls are supreme butterfaces, Karissa looks distinctly uglier than Kristina. I think she was just trying to even stuff out.

Hugh Hefner’s new twin GFs don’t just beat the living crap out of other people — they also kick the s**t out of each other.

We’ve learned Karissa Shannon was arrested just two months before she and sis Kristina were pinched for aggravated battery back in January. In this case, however, she was popped for kicking her own twin sister in the face. Lovely.

Here’s the blow-by-blow, according to the charge report: When cops showed up, Kristina was lying on the ground outside their apartment “wearing only blue jean pants” and “bleeding from her nose,” while Karissa was standing over Kristina asking who had done this, “as if she had no idea what had happened.”

Best part: a neighbor said he witnessed the one twin kicking the other twin in the face, though “he could not identify which sister was which.” Karissa eventually fessed up.

[From TMZ]

I seriously hope Hef has 24-hour security around him. There is no way I would trust these girls. They’re 19. He’s 83. They’re evil/crazy and will beat down someone they used to share a womb with. What do you think they’d do to get their hands on some of Hef’s cash? Not that Holly Madison was all that classy, but these girls make her look like some kind of saint in comparison.

Here are the twins’ booking photos; Karissa is on the left. Header of Hugh Hefner the twins on either side of him at the 2nd annual Leather Meets Lace event to benefit Jenny McCarthy’s charity Generation Rescue held at the Playboy Mansion on October 4th. Images thanks to WENN.

 

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39 Responses to “Hef’s newest twin girlfriends have quite the rap sheets (sorta NSFW)”

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  1. Anna says:

    They remind me of the crazy babysitter twins from Rodriguez’ movie Planet Terror. Those, in blonde. I would be scared to even get near them, lest they attack me for no reason or their stupidity wears off on me.

    But seriously: are they having sex with Hef? And if they are, at the same time? Like, the twins getting it on with each other too? That just grosses me out big time. Yuck. Blech. I know some guys fantasise about that but seriously, that is super awful.

  2. amay says:

    OMG CAN YOU SAY STRETCH MARKS!

    they look like 12 year old hookers.

  3. Christina says:

    ok i’m sorry, but these girls are not butterfaces… i dunno what people are talking about… but they look pretty cute…

  4. Jaclyn says:

    They have realy small breasts, that has to be a first for playboy!

  5. C says:

    they actually look a lot better with makeup off. but yeah, i wouldn’t put it past these two to off him and make it look like an “accident”.

  6. caffie says:

    Well, you know… when you’re almost 100, I guess there’s no concern about getting herpes or any other STD.

  7. natasha says:

    He should have married Holly.

    What a way to spend his last years. It is sad and scary.

  8. Because I say So says:

    Not that Playboy is known for being a bastion of beauty, but seriously Hef, WTF? Is he completely senile now?

    Amay: good eye with the stretch marks! Hard to spot almost with the fake tanner/spray. Total and complete disgusting sacks of flesh, these two…

  9. nag says:

    Maybe they can double as security for hef

  10. saintdevil says:

    Why are you concerned about a dirty old man who only gets laid because he’s wealthy and there are lots of insecure chicks with mental issues in this world?

    If either of those twins bashes his head in, I’ll salute her.

  11. what says:

    anna, i know, i don’t get the dude fantasy of incestuous sex between twins. that is some super sick shit.

  12. JaundiceMachine says:

    Having grown up with younger twin sisters, I’ve never understood the appeal (as a duo, not as individuals).

    I love my sisters, but even as 23-year-old adults, if they are left in a room together for longer than an hour, they become loud, aggressive, and combative – (mainly with one another, but on more than one occasion, my brother and I were “double-teamed”.)

    If my beloved sisters are any indication (as you would know from my previous Paris Hilton “baby” post. . . – oh wait! You wouldn’t!!) – twin-a-roos can be more than you bargain for.

    I’m glad Hef is finding out the hard way how much fun it is to live with twin sisters. Enjoy, Hef!

  13. HEB says:

    Hey whats in that glass that 19 year old is holding?

  14. actingrc says:

    i mean, i know some male twins who say they’d rather do a threesome with each other if they had to cross swords with someone. at least they wouldn’t have to see another dude’s peep. i think it’s weird, but…. whatever

  15. snappyfish says:

    I agree…I liked Holly and felt rather sorry for her as she seemed to really care for her ‘puffin’. I don’t think he ever divorced Kimberly Conrad and I know she lives next door to the mansion (or down the street) with their two sons, Marston and Conner. However, they have been apart for years so I am sure if he wanted to divorce her it wouldn’t be so time comsuming.

    I think the whole multiple girlfriends skit is just sad and lame. I think he just wonders around the mansion eating hard boiled eggs and fried chicken and thinking of way to make money by exploiting these stupid little creatures who don’t know any better.

  16. Jen says:

    Yep – they have the white trash dead eyes. I have seen their kind many times before…they are very dumb and generally use sex or violence to get what they want because they can’t talk or think their way to a solution. I would not be remotely surprised to hear of an “incident” in the mansion in the near future, whether it involves these two beating the f*** out of someone or stealing from Hef.

  17. MomOfTwins says:

    They’re 19? Yikes, I would have guessed late 20′s.

  18. binary says:

    I once an read an interview with the lot of that current year’s SI swimsuit models and they said they actually felt more and more “clothed” as their painted on swimsuits covered more of their bits. These girls don’t look in the least bothered by wearing paint for tops. Granted, they’re probably several drinks down on top of being Hef’s new show ponies, so I’m guessing they are loving the attention.

    -This ain’t no hockey game-

  19. Eve says:

    Isn’t illegal for a 19 yr old to drink in the US? What’s in her glass?!

  20. perpetua says:

    OOH People with vacant eyes scare me! Is that the narcissistic sociopath gaze or what?

  21. lola lola says:

    Why does he still even bother having a ‘girlfriend(s)’? Can’t he just date whoever when ever? Or does he always need the rental-chick-du-jour on his arm for photos?

  22. mollination says:

    I hate that “Hef’s taking advantage of young girls” shit. I’m pretty sure they’re aware of what they’re doing and making sure they are more than compensated. It’s symbiotic. He gets what he wants, and they more than get their fair share of what they want (read: money, stuff, fame, attention, “celebrity”, ect). Don’t worry about them. Please.

  23. aleach says:

    haha in the mugshots, looks like the one on the left has double set of eyebrows going on or something…
    and i noticed the stretch marks right away too! what the hell! haha, ive watched the show and there seem to be lots of pretty girls around, and hef choose THESE two?

  24. Codzilla says:

    mollination: Agreed. These chicks know what they’re getting themselves into. And when they’re eventually kicked to the curb, they’ll both look back and see this experience as their greatest achievement.

  25. juju says:

    That ole smut master ought to tuck his dick under his leg and just lie down.

  26. juju says:

    Those white trash bimbos ought to go somewhere, find Jesus Christ and get married. It’s phenomenally amazing that anyone would let themself be used by this old whoremonger hefner

  27. Mystery says:

    mollination I agree with you! Hef needs to give up the charade and have some dignity. Stop pretending that twin 19 year olds are really his ‘girlfriends’:oops: :!:

  28. Julie says:

    I never noticed the stretch marks but yeah, wtf???? Please don’t tell me one of these is a mother!!! I just have to ask, does anyone else just see Walking STDs when they look at these 2?

  29. cali angel says:

    I could really care less about these two chicks but what’s with all of the stretch-mark hating? Some people grow faster than their (edit) skin can catch up and they have stretch-marks, even without ever having kids. I grew 7 inches in 3 months when I was 12 years old and have had stretch marks since. Not ONE guy or girl has ever cared about them or even bothered to point them out to me because in the large scheme of things, they are really not that big of a deal. Geesh, pour on the haterade! :?

  30. Danielle Boyce says:

    OH-So now I see….This is why Holly’s moving out of the mansion. Had more respect for Hef before. Hef–you’re an ASS! :x

  31. Jeanne says:

    And they probably also have chlymidia, candida, genital warts, herpes, etc. I’ll bet their parents on so proud their girls have a famous Sugar Daddy!

  32. anon says:

    their boobs are freakin small.

  33. Mr Green says:

    :mrgreen: mr green says: what a disgrace 2 playboy.. it really is goin down the drain!!

  34. daz190 says:

    just 2 more women who will do anything for money.
    just like all the money hungry things that go out with sports stars or any other guy with money.
    i know that men aren`t perfect but women are 1000 times worse when it comes to sleeping with any guy for money.
    they have no morals.
    and go hef!
    you`re the man.

  35. Blahlalala says:

    God, these have got to be the 2 trashiest girls he’s picked yet. I mean come on, at least Holly, Bridget and Kendra were pretty. They are major butterfaces on an extreme scale.

    Honestly, I will be at all surprised if there is an “accident” at the mansion and they have no idea what happened. Seeing as how Karissa had no idea that she kicked her sister in the face…

  36. I hate that term “Butterface” – because it’s usually the ugliest men with bellies hanging over their belts who use this term. These twins aren’t ugly. Their breasts are natural…and most people over the age of 13 have stretch marks somewhere on their bodies. You know, if Hef didn’t have an education or money to begin with…he’s be Charles Manson. Same mentality. He’s Charles Manson with resources. If Charles Manson had resources Sharon Tate would be alive and he would probably be making music.

  37. winter says:

    they are fuglie and they just want his moneyyy !

  38. Queen fkn B says:

    They haVe stretch marks !! Wooppy Dee fkn doo! Who cares?! Who doesn’t u self centered moles! U may not hav them now but let me tell u my dears one day yous will stretch n out they come !! Karma is a big ass bitch!!