'11
Well, our beloved Linnocent is due in court today, this, the High Holy Day of Crackhead Martyrs (no disrespect to Jesus, who is only the second biggest martyr after Linnocent). Linnocent’s judge, Stephanie Sautner, has already said that she’s not allowing cameras in the courtroom, so we’ll likely only be getting some photos of Linnocent’s crack stroll into the courthouse, and those will probably come later, I’m guessing. What’s interesting is that both TMZ and Radar are claiming that Shawn Chapman Holley will likely ask the judge today to reduce Linnocent’s charge from a felony to a misdemeanor. Here’s more:
Lindsay Lohan is bound to have a spring in her step with the news that Judge Stephanie Sautner is likely to reduce the Mean Girls star’s felony theft charge down to a misdemeanor in court today.
“Judge Sautner has indicated to the DA and Lindsay’s attorney that there is a very good chance that at the conclusion of the preliminary hearing she will reduce the charge from a felony to a misdemeanor,” a well connected source tells RadarOnline. “When Lindsay heard this news, the possibility that the charge could be reduced, she was practically doing cartwheels.”
And with good reason – there’s a big difference between the two charges – Felony grand theft carries up to three years in state prison whereas misdemeanor grand theft carries a maximum of one year in county jail.
“Lindsay’s fate rests in Judge Sautner’s hands, and the judge could decide not to reduce the charge in the end, but just the fact that she is considering it gives Lindsay hope,” the source close to the actress says.
During the hearing Deputy District Attorney Danette Meyers will be calling the jewelry store owner, the female clerk that was working when the theft allegedly occurred, the investigating officer and the police officer that Lindsay’s friend turned the necklace over to. Meanwhile, Lindsay’s attorney, Shawn Holley, is going to grill the jewelry store owner over her decision to sell the surveillance video of the alleged theft for a profit, our source says. It’s anticipated that the preliminary hearing will last one day. Holley will be calling just one witness, a jewelry appraiser. The price of the necklace is going to be a battle of contention between Meyers and Holley.
“If the judge decides that the real value of the necklace is far below the listed retail price of $2500, specifically $950 as has been mentioned, it’s a no brainer and the charge gets reduced,” the Lohan source tells RadarOnline.
But, even if Judge Sautner does reduce the charge to a misdemeanor, Lindsay still isn’t in the clear.
“If Lindsay is ordered to stand trial, even on a misdemeanor, she will still be automatically found in violation of her DUI probation,” the source says.
“Lindsay is telling her friends though that the judge won’t be sending her to jail on the probation violation at the conclusion of the preliminary hearing tomorrow, rather it will be dealt with at another time, most likely at the conclusion of the case, if and when it goes to trial. Lindsay simply has one of the best attorneys in Shawn Holley, hands down.”
The preliminary hearing will begin at 8:30 am PST.
Judge Sautner has denied cameras in the courtroom, but RadarOnline will be right there and reporting in real time on what is happening.
[From Radar]
“Lindsay simply has one of the best attorneys in Shawn Holley, hands down.” Yes, Shawn. We know. Now stop guzzling margaritas and calling Radar and TMZ. By the way, I don’t even agree that Shawn Holley is that awesome of an attorney. I think she’s good… for a celebrity client in the state of California. Put her up against a state legal system that isn’t so – errr – accommodating to celebrities and crackheads, well, Shawn might not be so awesome.
But I do find it interesting that even if this goes ahead as a misdemeanor (which I hope won’t happen), then Linnocent will still be under serious threat of going automatically to jail. For the love of God, PLEASE SEND HER AWAY.
And yes, I decided to use some of my favorite Linnocent photos for this very special Crack Martyr Day. And you guys can treat this as our official Linnocent Open Post!!
Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.
Written by Kaiser
Posted in Legal Issues, Legal Troubles, Lindsay Lohan
- Tabloid covers of Kim Kardashian’s pregnancy [Buzzfeed]
- Henry Cavill rode the bus incognito [Lainey Gossip]
- I have been loving Food Network Star [D-Listed]
- Milla Jovovich’s bizarre dress [Go Fug Yourself]
- Honey Boo Boo in smell-o-vision [Reality Tea]
- What wrecks your suspension of disbelief? [Pajiba]
- Amanda Bynes in Atlantic City [Evil Beet]
- Vintage Father’s Day photos from celebs [Popsugar]
- Nicole Scherzinger at X-Factor auditions [Popoholic]
- Who has a pill habit? [CDAN]
- Tamara Ecclestone bikini photos [Celebslam]
Just put this hag in jail already.
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Her pics always crack me UP!! they used to shock me, not anymore!!
LOL
Heavy eyebrows, crazy eye, trout pout, overcooked complexion and the crack stare.
good luck Linns, you need it.
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Fucking shenanigans!!! She’s going to the pokey & I dont mean on a date where she gets poked in the butt for cash & prizes!
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Yay….open post! Happy Crack Friday!
Let’s hope Lindsay goes to the big house today (and I’m not talking Playboy mansion).
I brought the tequila infused Jolly Ranchers….Where’s Eileen with the crackie jacks and hatertinis?!
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Wonder if she’ll miss Sunday’s Easter egg hunt. So sad.
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Crackie needs to go down, and not for a misdemeanor. But, we all pretty much know that’s what will happen. She is going to skate by this one, too. Makes me sick.
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This Friday will only be Good for me if Linnocent is finally made to suffer the consequences of her behavior, her lying, her abuse of drugs and alcohol – and go to jail, with a mandatory time in a real, reputable rehab center afterwards that doesn’t cater to celeb whims.
And then make her do a few hundred hours of social service, e.g. helping kids from families that are broken up because of drugs.
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Umm, of course the store bought the necklace for less than what they were selling it for.
I don’t understand why the charges would be reduced b/c the store bought the necklace for $850.
Plz send her to jail already.
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I think it’s so cute we all still have hope that one day Lohan will be held accountable for her actions. She must have found some sort of golden ticket that entitles the holder of said ticket to be a delusional, unaccountable, mildly amusing in the “We are all laughing AT you not WITH you” way, and a total waste.
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More Radar BS. I can’t figure out if this is Dina or Holley’s PR. The question is whether the judge wants to spend county funds on the freak show. “Opinion” on value is just that-the classic definition is what a willing buyer would pay to a willing seller. And given the location, $2500 isn’t out of line.
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@Farfromhome, it’s a statement to all of our deep-down faith in humanity and our country, isn’t it? Rather sad.
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I hope the price of the jewelry doesn’t get reduced. It seems high to me, but that shouldn’t be up to the court to decide – if that’s the price on it and that was known to Linnocent when she decided to sashay out with it, it is what it is – a felony.
Same with the video selling – stupid movie by the store owner, but in no way does it change the fact that Linnocent took something that she did not pay for.
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Well….well…this day has FINALLY arrived. **waves at all my fellow crackie tailgaters!**
Oh…I’ve been waiting so long to share my new crack snack with you all!!
Everyone come see me and get your free bag of:
Jimmy’s CRACK corn!! (each bag comes with a free tee-shirt that says “And I Don’t Care!”)
Kaiser…you have a specially made tee shirt that says “Queen of the Slut Shank” on the back.
I made it just for you!
Now please. PLEASE!!! Put her crack-ass in jail!!
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@lucy2
The jeweler paid $850 for the necklace so whatever the mark up the jeweler put on it makes it a felony at $950. Cali law allows the judge to reduce a charge from felony to misdemeaner after the hearing at the request of the defense. This judge has done that many times.
@Kaiser, can I please get out of moderating jail? I promise to be good or really bad if you prefer.
@happygirl, Yayyyyyyy.
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Hi ladies !!! So this is it!
I brought a baba au rum sprinkled with crack and funny brownies!
Rita, did you bring your potato salade?
Now how about a drink ?
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I hoping Easter Bunny brings news of a jail sentence for Lohan.
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Hey folks! I’m here and accounted for-couldn’t miss it! Scooped some of Rita’s famous crack sprinkled potato-salad up, grabbed Brin’s Tequila soaked jolly rancher for mouth refreshment & just made myself a crackmopolitian hatertini w/Percocet crushed rim…shaken, not stirred. Feel free to grab a drink & snack on some crakey jacks!
Let’s DO this! =D
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It’s ALWAYS a Good Friday when Kaiser gets to post pics of the awesome pink bathrobe coat.
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I have the stuffed crust PIZZA!!! Where’s the beer?
Oh sorry, Red Bull and Vodka??
Lets get this crackroast started!!
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I agree with Marjalane.
Kaiser, who needs HGF when you have (NLC) Nasty Lindsay Courtday pics!
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I know there are no cameras today, but shouldn’t this thing have started by now?
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I hope we’re not disappointed today. Thanks Eileen for having some potato salad and pass it to Raven Sparrow before she gets into the sauce. Eat up gals cause my hubby said he ain’t eating potato salad for the next 3 weeks. Pass it on to Happy Girl, she looks like she’s lost too much weight but what a fox.
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No crack hunt on Easter for the crackalicious Ms. Linnocent Limpet?! Oh the humanity!
http://www.bonairetalk.com/newsgroup/messages/23830/140712.jpg
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I want some potato salad!
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I’m still crossing my fingers that my birthday wish will be granted… That by tomorrow, Lindsay will actually be held in SOME way responsible for SOMETHING she’s done.
I’m not holding my breath, but hope for ‘divine retribution’ lingers. *Sits at the bar, waiting for her special haterini & a funny brownie*
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Let the tailgate begin! Hi happygirl (missed you!)! Mornin Rita & Eileen and all fellow crackies!!!!
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Winona Ryder got convicted and she wasn’t a fraction of the f-up Lindsay is. Lindsay should too.
Girl deserves jail time just for being felony stupid.
Happy (maybe…hopefully…keeps your fingers crossed) Jail Day Everybody!!
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Watch out gals!!! Johnny Depp’s Girl spiked my cucumber water with tequila. Hey brin, my crack sprinkled potato salad is to be eaten….you have a diced potato sticking out of your nose. Sorry for not being discrete but that looks awful and I thought you should know.
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@ Rita ~ Hahaha! Thank you, love! (Please tell your husband no worries there! Your potato salad doesn’t stand a chance of having left overs with all of us hungry crackies around!
)
@ brin ~ Hi!! I’ve missed you, too!
Anxiously awaiting the outcome!!
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I’m with Hapy Girl (Hi!
Rita, there will be no leftovers..
I’m really mad at myself-when I worked for a sports marketing company one of my clients was Tony Hawk & when we took him to do a Bagel Bites commercial we threw this huge party for him in SF with a GIANT Red & Vodka fountain-it was like 15 feet tall! WHY didn’t I break that thing out for THIS! Maybe at our “Lindsay’s is Finally in Jail” party?
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Thanks Rita! This salad is gooooood!
*handing the dish over to Johnny Depp’s girl*
Tasty looking pizza, Johnny Depp’s Girl , is it cracked sprinkled?
Eileen that crackmopolitain looks refreshing!
This is going to be fun!
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Jail.
It needs to crack’in happen!
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I hope the judge considers MERCY!!!
Mercy for the general public. Put Lindsay away for awhile so we can get some much needed rest from her constant drama.
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@Kaiser- I will never get tired of those photos. Never.
@Farfromhome- word.
@Everyone else- Hello!! Are our fingers crossed? Want to get enraged? This is the latest on Lohan’s twitter:
“i am just grateful for the life i have, i cannot explain how excited i am to begin working on films again, on top of that- i better get one of my two favorite scripts that i am in love with. my friends know what they both are….”
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Good Mornin Ladies,
Thanks for the invite to the Crack Trial of the Century.
Thanks for the crack snacks, I’m almost full.
Did everyone BYOC? (Bring Your Own Crack!)
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Thanks Raven!! Mighty Tasty Rita..
Yes Raven, Its crack pizza with crushed valium and xanax..
Enjoy!
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@Madisyn….of course, and there’s plenty of red bull and vodka in honor of the defendant!
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This twit still hasn’t left her house even with the Obama traffic on that side of town.
Its 9:32 P.S.T. Who wants to take bets she will be LATE even though court is starting 90 minutes later than originally scheduled?
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I’m enjoying a tall glass of iced haterade with a twist of lemon as my frosty beverage of choice.
Unfortunately we don’t have Carvel stores in Denver CO so I’ll have to substitute DQ if a celebration is in order later in the day.
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The name of Shawn Chapman Holley will forever be associated with Lindz The Crack Hustler. That’s a nice professional achievement, no?
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@Rita you are in moderator jail too?? Me too!! (Not sure what I did or didn’t do though.
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@ Rita, brin, Happygirl, et al – I’m back, bitches! *waves*
And I’ve got the vodka and the CocoPuffs! And of course, the Shots of Delusion. Now, who’s got those mug-shot shot glasses?
@ Eileen – Would you mind mixing me up one of those drinks? It sounds…amazing!
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Happy Birthday Hakura
I am bored with LoHo. Can we talk about LeaHo feeling abandoned by Dean?
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How does she afford shawn? She has no income besides calling the Paps. Ps why isn’t CB covering Lean Rimes latest drama? My local pop station at work used to get leann stories from celebitchy
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Thank God the installation people got here in time for me to be involved in this, the Crack Tail-Gate event of the century!
(We moved 2 weeks ago and I’ve been without the ‘net – I. WAS. DYING! – PLEASE, CB, take me off moderation…I promise I’ll be nice.)
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@ brin. . .Thanks so much and to @ Rita, @ happygirl, @ Raven Sparrow, etc.
I definetly need that Vodka, hold the Red Bull after we all found out no cameras in the court room!
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@JenJen
Morning babe. I think you me LeAnnoHan and she’s been strangely absent from this site. Anyway, have some potato salid and try the Linnocent Shooters (Make sure you don’t drive).
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Johnny Depp’s Girl-wow you’ve combined pizza & pills?? I know which tailgate my ass is going to be hanging on!
BTW people I really AM on Percocet right now so if I act nutty…please ignore! lol
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This is crazy. She still hasn’t left yet. Definitely going to be late.
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Since I am observing….oops, I mean ‘celebrating’ … Good Friday today I hope all of you ladies will have an extra serving from the crackfeast buffet for me. Yum!
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@Salina -maybe she got a Cease & Desist Defamation of Character & Harassment letter from Leann like I did? LOL
Its prob because there were a few over-zealous posters on there and she got tired of dealing with them!
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@melinda she is always late for court and they never do a thing.
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Why don’t they just issue a warrant for her arrest since she’s chronically late to court? She’s a single-handed, crack-headed budget crisis for LA County!
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@T.O. Bellaluna-absofreakinlutely! Plenty to go around! =D
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She has arrived. On time!
And no breast in sight!
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Oh, and ladies, I have a new taste treat:
Soft pretzels sprinkled with crack-salt! The perfect treat to absorb some of the other substances we’re ingesting today!
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I see she still has her neck covered up..What is going on with that?
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The original bellaluna and happygirl!
Yay! Only Lindsay can bring us all together! Let’s all raise a shot glass in honor of our dear crackie…Cheers!!!
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omg leann rimes is sending cease and desist letters to people who comment on stories about her homewrecking? wow…. she must be paying a lot in lawyer fees cuz every site with a leann post has more negative than positive responses.
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What channel is everyone watching this crackery on?
For the next court date I’d like to put in a request for Kaiser to be flown in and stand by at the courthouse so we can hear her first hand comments about all the crazy ass people there and descriptions of her outfits! That would be epic!!
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@Salina she sent me a C&D letter because I sent ONE and only ONE tweet to her and that was to tell her I know she opened a fake acct to harass Brandi. 2 weeks later I got a letter from her attorneys threatening to sue me. LOL Someone has a lot of time of their hands! lol
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Ack….I’m still in moderation too!
Thanks for bringing up the lack of Leann posts, I’ve been wondering about that, too. Hope we get one one of these days.
*ITA, Salina*
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oh man, i am hoping like almost everyone else here that SOMETHING happens to laloca today! come on Karma, where are you?? [and where is dina/innocent to protest on lindsay's behalf??]
enjoying the crack drama from my computer at work…
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@ brin – CHEERS! *clinks glasses* A-a-a-h, that was good. It’s so nice to be back! I’ve missed our little group’s camaraderie! (And I’m in moderation too!)
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@Eileen…no kidding? I would take that C&D letter and frame it, that’s a badge of honor! You got to her, gf!
Just proves how vindictive & petty she is.
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My inner Beyotch <3 <3 <3s the photo with the black Spock brows that where she looks like a worn out 60 year old trailer hootchie who works out of Mama’s Roadhouse.
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Don’t forget ladies to pick up my grab bags after the party is over of adrenaline shots to the heart in case of overdose, gift card to Carvel & a coupon for 1 free night’s stay at the rehab center of YOUR choice!
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@Eileen – I second that! A live report would be super entertaining. How could we get her in??
Edit: I’m also wondering at the lack of Leann stories – was hoping to read something funny about the latest outings.
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@ Original Bellaluna, thanks to you for this once in a lifetime invite. You were one of the original girls to invite me along with @ Rita and @ happygirl.
I’m getting drunk off the Vodka/Red Bull, Crackpolitinis, Lemon Haterade, and @ brins Tequilla infused Jolly Ranchers and the Crack Trial hasn’t even begun yet.
@ Rita, please pass me some of that Crack Sprinkle Potatoe Salad before its all gone.
@ Johnny Depps Girl, may I have a slice of Crack stuffed Pizza?
@ Eileen, LMAO! May I have my adrenaline shot now?
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Justice for sale… *pukes*
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@brin we laughed our butts off when I got it in the mail. My husband was like ” I have a frame that would be perfect for this!!” lol
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Is she in jail yet?!?! I’ve been running around getting Easter stuff ready since I’m off. Got out of taking bonus kids to see Easter Bunny, though.
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Salina and Eileen….are you serious?? Imagine how sad someone’s life must be to send out C&D letters to everyone who hurts their feel bads! I love it. There was a chick at the market the other day who gave me attitude for having 11 items in the 10 or less lane. I am so calling my atty!! Maybe I should sue for emotional distress too??
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Madisyn.. you are welcome to have as much as you like!
I think I am gonna have some of that Tequila infused Jolly Ranchers for zert.
Down with the HO.. Li Lo HO!! Tee hee
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@ Madisyn –
It’s good to be back, and it’s great to “see” everyone! I’ve missed y’all. Please pass me that potato salad when you’re done – I do love potato salad!
@ Rita – Would you mind tossing me some of those Jolly Ranchers?
@ Raven – Is there any baba au rum left? I’d love to try it!
@ Eileen – Thank you for your foresight in the gift bag ingredients…How considerate of you.
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Hey y’all…Kaiser is very clever…did you see the link (above) to D listed Leann post? It’s hilarious, check it out. Ok, now back to our courtroom drama.
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@Madisyn I’d suggest maybe you use half now and save half for later! Just in case! =D
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@Eileen…love it!
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I’ve been wondering about the lack of Leann Rimes too!!! I caught a glimpse of her drama on a different gossip site last night but they didn’t elaborate so of course I came here they cb always has the best stories and I was shocked that there was no mention of her!
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Court Testimony by Store employee.
She had to stop Linnocent from leaving the store a few days prior with a pair of $1200 earrings. I never heard that.
Eat up @bellaluna & Madysin. You two look great today. Bell, are those new boobs or are you lifting? Mady, love the nails.
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You all are my kind of people….crazy!
*looks right at Rita*
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She wanted to steal 1 earring. One. What do you do with one earring?? The woman is crazy.
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@brin
asdjkl]=-awe[[oaqwerl adm;kladjf. Found the right keys. Sorry I’d look back at you luv but everything’s a blur.
You smell great. Is that Salini?
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Seeing LL’s face makes me feel young and fresh at 41. Thanks Linds, I needed the pick me up!
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@ Original Bellaluna. . .Passing the potatoe salad, also passing @brins Tequilla Jolly Ranchers , had too many, take them out of my hands.
@ Eileen, your right best to wait, after mixing the Vodka/Red Bull and @ brins Tequilla, I’ll need that shot possibly tomorrow morning. Gonna have one hell of a hangover.
@ Rita, your too kind. I had my nails done especially for the occasion.
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Love the tweet about her “favorite scripts”. Not too worried about it considering her taste in scripts seems to run to trashy stuff I don’t want to see anyway. I Know Who Killed Me, Machete, Lovelace. I can only imagine what she likes.
It’s been bugging me but I just remembered what the wonky eyebrow white dress pic reminds me of. Hatchet Face in the John Waters/Johnny Depp Crybaby movie.
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Ahhhh!!! Ok, back from the gym and shoving more crack snacks in my mouth! LOVE all you guys!!
Any word yet?? I didn’t miss anything, did I?
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Ah man, I am buzzed!! Thanks guys for all the crack snacks.. I might need that goody bag un memento por favor.
I need a drink, who’s holdin?
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I am liking this Sofia..
Shawn asked why Kamofie & Co. has cameras everywhere … and Sofia replied, “So we can record things that happen in the store … like THEFT!”
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Miss wha….where am I? LOL.
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@ Johnny Depp’s Girl – did the Jimmy’s CRACK corn make you thirsty?? Are you wearing your free tee shirt?
I think brin always has the shots of delusion ready…
I have some vodka crack jello shooters…help yourself!
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@ Happygirl, read TMZ for constant updates.
Shawn Holly just asked the most asinine question of store owner Sofia, she asked “why so many cameras everywhere”? The owner replied, get ready for a lulu. . . “so we can record things in the store. . . like THEFT! BWAHHAHAHA!
C’mon Shawn, I don’t think I’ve been in a jewelry store in the last 20 years that haven’t had video surveillance cameras. Thanks Shawn for the GRINS!
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@ Bellaluna – sure! plenty baba au rum left! Enjoy! *passing the dish*
Wow! With all this good food I think I ate too much. I’m gonna go relax over there for a while. Excellent dishes, thanks ladies!
*sinking into a comfy sofa and sipping my crackmopolitain*
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@happygirl.. YES!! A crack jello shot.. my fav….
Yes my tshirt says.. “Free Blohan” on the front and on the back, a bit blurred, its says “No wait… Free Willy”
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@ Rita – Thank you for noticing! Just lifting today. You’re looking lovely today as well!
@ Madisyn – Thank you, and don’t worry; I got you. If anyone needs the Tequila Ranchers, I’ll have them.
@ Raven – It’s delicious!
@ Johnny Depp’s Girl – I, too, have shots of delusion. I also have the chocolate vodka left over from the Vodka CocoPuffs. What’s your pleasure?
Oh, and since I live on the west coast, I’ve actually remained conscious until lunch! Who has that pizza?
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@ Madisyn ~ Thanks, GF!
I’ll have to check it out! Don’t want to miss any of the crack drama!! Good lookin’ out!
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@ Waldemar, sorry. I posted the same thing, just didn’t see yours.
@ Johnny Depps Girl, I’ll bartend, what are you havin?
@ Raven Sparrow, may I have some of your Rum with @ brins shot of delusion, make it in a bucket? I’m going to have a hangover with the vodka and tequilla anyway!
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@Madisyn…that’s priceless! She walked right into that one!
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No titty Jesus picture TODAY of all the most high holy days?
Tsk tsk
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@ Happygirl Three Linnocent Shooters,
Two Vodka Redbulls and a Beer please!
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They’re breaking for lunch. I think I’ll take a power nap, sleep it off, and resume the tailgate party crack eyed and bushy tailed!
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*offers Rolaids and coupons for a free, three-day visit to rehab for the party guests*
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Thank you YT.. needed that.
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@ Johnny Depp’s Girl – you got it! Coming right up!
@ Madisyn – oh my…I feel ya! A crack nap sounds great!
@ yt – good thinking! I may have to take you up on both the Rolaids and the rehab! LOL
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I’m with Madisyn-I am going to go rest up for more crack shenanigans! BBL! =)
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@ Rita, I LOVE potato salad, but I have been limiting myself on the mayo. I have to pass on the shooters because I am off to market, to attempt Goopy’s Kale Chips (hope she hasn’t trademarked the name)! It looks so easy, just oil, salt and bake! She says the kids love them as much as Tater chips! Now to the Goop post
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Yahoooooo. Them jello shooters got a kick to ‘em. Past out in Jake Gyllendhaal’s motor home n thought I better leave ’cause i ain’t cleanin’ up that mess. Anybody here seen my blouse? OUCH!!!! No more for Johnny Depp’s Girl. That’s gonna leave a mark. Madisyn, give me another glass of cucumber water without the spirits.
Got a question for y’all. Who the hell is Lindseed Lohandle anyways?
Anybody see lilred?
@JenJen
No tater salid? No shooters? You seem ta be havin’ a bad Good Friday. Be careful hun. Don’t get stuck in the goop.
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Wouldn’t it be fabulous if she came back from lunch loaded to the gills?
Thanks YT!
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Here’s an interesting breakdown from ROL about her “downfall” (code for “how she trashed her career”)
http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2011/04/lindsay-lohan-court-battles-drugs-arrests-rehab-self-destruction
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@t.o.bellaluna….fabulous for us but just a regular lunch for her.
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OK, I’m awake and ready for more crack shenanigans. Who has the jello shots? I’m ready!
@ happygirl and @ Eileen, wakey wakey, crack rise and shine.
@ Rita, you only want a virgin cucumber water? I premixed my libations ahead of time but for you I can make it a virgin.
@ brin, wasn’t that Holly question a like “DUH”
@ Original Bellaluna, I thought it was a given she’d enter her SUV and Dina would ask Blohan, “COKE MIRROR OR CRACK PIPE”?
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@Madisyn
Virgin? Honey, I might be a little tipsy but my cucumber lost its virginity some time ago….and you can’t “make it a virgin” once it ain’t no more. That’s just an old wives tail…I mean tale whispered by old virgin wives.
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I’m with @ Madisyn – Who has the jello shots? Rita made them sound fabulous!
I’m still jonesin’ for some of that pizza, too…
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ARGH! Reduced to a misdemeanor!
GAH! And the judge said “I’m going to give her a chance.”!?! Are you effing kidding me?! How many judges feel the compelling need to give this cracked-out train wreck “a chance” before they get what we already know: Linnocent Blohan will never learn!
Oh, someone, quick! Pass me something with at least 2 forms of mind-altering substance in it, STAT!
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LL is NEVER going to be made actually deal with the consequences for anything. Why have things like probation, laws, etc if they aren’t going to be upheld?
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Mother, Father, its an effing misdemeanor. I gotta baaaaddddd feeling at the end of the day, Blohan will do what she always does. . .skate.
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Ugh…this bitch.
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I’m up I’m up had to take shot before I could get my head off the pillow!
So what’s the status? Is the Kraken in shackles or is she being released?
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Charges reduced to MISDEMEANOR YESSS
I think the Judge was very fair and i’m glad that she is giving Lindsay a chance.
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A chance to do what, commit ANOTHER FELONY?! Or maybe this time she’ll just run over somebody.
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@Innocent, how many chances does Lindsay need in her life? She passed the second one years ago.
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wonder how this will affect her Q factor.
steals something with a high price tag and a member of oj’s old crack team gets her off.
oh yea that’ll definitely have people lining up to see her in theaters.
i think the real reason she keeps switching judges is so she gets a new one before the old one gets fed up.
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@Rita LMAO! Old wives tale….XD
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Lol at “the Kraken.”
I just…gah! She has been doing this court/jail runaround since May 2007. That’s 4 YEARS, and she still hasn’t been held accountable for any of it!
Here’s a really long breakdown courtesy of Radar Online:
Criminal incidents:
* May 26, 2007: Lindsay is arrested in connection with driving under the influence of alcohol, in Beverly Hills, California.
* July 24, 2007: Lindsay is arrested in connection with suspicion of drunken driving and possession of cocaine in Santa Monica, California.
* August 23, 2007: Lindsay reaches a plea deal on the seven misdemeanor counts in connection with her arrests. She’s sentenced to a day in jail, 10 of community service, and ordered to: a drug treatment program, an 18-month alcohol education program, pay assorted fines, and most importantly, fulfill three years of probation.
* November 15, 2007: Lindsay spends 84 minutes in jail, in addition to 10 days of community service, three years probation, and an 18-month alcohol education program for her DUI.
* October 16, 2009: Lindsay’s probation is extended another year when it’s revealed she hadn’t attended all of the requisite substance abuse treatment sessions.
* May 25, 2010: After blowing off a court hearing to party at the Cannes Film Festival in France, the presiding judge orders Lindsay to wear a clunky alcohol monitoring bracelet known as a SCRAM, submit to drug tests and attend an alcohol-education program.
* June 8, 2010: After the SCRAM goes off — triggered by alcohol consumption — a judge issues an arrest warrant for the actress, who posts $200,000 bail.
* July 6, 2010: Lohan is sentenced to 90 days in jail and 90 days in rehab for her mass of probation violations.
* July 20, 2010: Lohan is taken into custody to begin her jail term. She’s released two weeks later, on August 2, due to overcrowding issues.
* August 2, 2010: Released from jail, Lohan begins her fourth rehab stint at UCLA; the 90-day sentence handed down by the judge is cut to just 23 days, as LiLo’s lawyer said that “the treating doctors at UCLA felt she had done everything required of her there.”
* September 24, 2010: Lohan’s probation is revoked after she fails a drug test; she’s booked yet again, and soon thereafter checks into court-ordered rehab at the Betty Ford Center, where she’s ordered to stay through the New Year.
* February 9, 2011: Five weeks into the New Year, LiLo has new problems: She’s charged with felony grand theft in connection with the disappearance of a $2,500 necklace from a Venice Beach jewelry store.
* April 22, 2011: Lindsay’s felony is reduced to a misdemeanor.
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I think I saw a crackhead JUST like her on the corner of Santa Monica and Western today…no shit!!
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I’m beyond disgusted!!!!!!!!! Whatever the eff happened when Judge Fox scheduled this hearing and said I quote: YOU WILL GO TO JAIL! Whether it be the probation violation, a guilty or no contest plea or being found guilty at trial. I know, I know the trial hasn’t happened yet but this is Cali, she will skate. I gotta relax and calm down because I’m in a bit of a rage!
@ original bellaluna, when your done with the mind altering substances, pass me back the coke mirror AND the crack pipe!
@ brin, second that UGH THAT BITCH!
@ Rita, I didn’t mean anything by that, I thought you wanted it without “spirits”.
@ Innocent, Dina, don’t bogart the white sh!t, you’ve obviously had WAY TOO MUCH! Oh and by the by, PISS OFF!
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Its time for me to take my Percocet…I think I’ll add a 3rd one to help drown out the disgustedness.
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@ Eileen, may I have a percocet too?
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@ Madisyn – Here you go, honey. I know, right? I’ll see you (and hopefully all of our crack-tail-gaters on the new article site! Split that percocet from Eileen with me?
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Happy Easter, my fellow crackies…and let’s drink to the preliminary trial in May!
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@madisyn & Bellaluna Everyone can have their own! I have a WHOLE buffet of drugs here right now for my back (seriously)! Lortab, Soma, Percocet, muscle relaxers…you name it! lol just grab a plate & get in line…though I do ask you only use clean plates for every return of the buffet you go. LOL
)))
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Re: Moderation Jail – I practically live in moderation jail xD I probably have a propensity to use words that set it off on a regular basis.
@JenJen – Thank you! =) Sadly my main gift wasn’t granted, but what are you going to do? At least we celebrated for the ocasion in the future in which Lindsay is finally incarcerated.
@Eileen – “BTW people I really AM on Percocet right now so if I act nutty…please ignore! lol”
I’m with you. Had a few vicodin left over from a previous injury, & I can’t think of a better time to use them, especially now that the felony has been reduced to a misdemeanor. I’m definitely going to need something strong to keep my buzz going. *grabs a plate & lines up for the pharmaceutical buffet*
@Brin – ” Only Lindsay can bring us all together! Let’s all raise a shot glass in honor of our dear crackie…Cheers!!!”
I’ve noticed that about Linnocent stories. Unlike in other stories, pretty much *everyone* (with the exception of 0.05%, which would be Innocent) agrees with eachother, & enjoys gathering to discuss it. I’ll raise my Haterini to that!
Brin – “Thanks for bringing up the lack of Leann posts, I’ve been wondering about that, too. Hope we get one one of these days.”
I kind of assumed CB & Kaiser were avoiding Leann stories lately, seeing as how heated the discussions in comments always seem to get. xD Granted that’s half the fun. But she’s really been doing some fucked up shit lately. (That picture where she copies Brandi, in a bikini… I’d be seriously freaked.) I thought CB would be all over that.
@Madisyn – “…your too kind. I had my nails done especially for the occasion.”
I *thought* I spied a Lindsay-inspired ‘F*$k You’ skillfully expressed on your manicure. Very nice!
—
I’m already coming up with ‘cake’ ideas, should Lindsay ever be brought to task for anything she does… There should be a picture done in frosting, but I’m not set on what it should be of. (I’d considered cupcakes with drug paraphenalia on top, but a cake seems much more dramatic.)
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Those pics, aiyee!
Now crack is whack.
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In related news: I miss Britney Spears.
She had the best, most entertaining break down ever and since Catherine Zeta-J’s dull version and this ho’s evil version the fun roller coaster crazy has been missing too long.
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@ Hakura – I have MAD ideas for cake decorations – hit me up, and we’ll come up with an AWESOME cake for our next three-ring-crack-trial tailgate.
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@ Hakura, on one hand I have F U C K U and on the other I have L O H A N! Looks perty doesn’t it?
@ original bellaluna, (in a 5 year old, stomping their feet, arms crossed, scowel face, in a snit Blohan voice) I WAAAAAAAANNNNNTTT cupcakes!
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@The Original Bellaluna – Ooo, definitely. Always open to suggestions >=) For some odd reason, I keep wanting to illustrate Lindsay attempting a ‘jail break’, trying to scale a barb-wire fence with dogs at her heels.
Obviously, I’ve had too much time to think about this. xD
@Madisyn – As far as baking goes, I’d say cupcakes are my preference… but since they’ll have artistic value, why not do both? (I don’t suppose the local grocery store will have any ‘pill’ shaped sprinkles….)
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