Linnocent’s sentenced to 120 days in jail (update)


OH DEAR GOD. I wish the California legal system was a person, so I could shoot it in the face. Judge Sautner just dropped Linnocent’s felony crack thievery charge down to a misdemeanor! Crap. DA Meyers argued that Linnocent should still go to jail because even it was misdemeanor theft, it was still a parole violation. Linnocent pled not guilty to the misdemeanor charge. BUT – Linnocent doesn’t have to go jail now, first she gets her crack trial. The pretrial date is May 11th, and the trial date is June 3rd, and the trial verdict will set the penalty for both the theft charge and the probation violation.

By the way, Hollywood Life has all kinds of interesting little side notes and tangents about Linnocent’s behavior during the hearing. Here are some interesting parts:

Lindsay Lohan is in court today for her felony grand theft trial over her alleged theft of a $2500 necklace. Unfortunately, a preliminary hearing for a felony is still not enough to keep Lindsay somber. She’s been laughing and texting while in court all morning!

Lindsay walked into court this morning and immediately asked to go to the bathroom. Once the trial started, our eyewitness tells us Lindsay was constantly texting on her phone. She even laughed at her own lawyer when Shawn Holley mistakenly asked the court transcriber rather than the judge to repeat a question. She laughed again when the defense attorney called her witnesses up to the stand, giggling at the store owner.

She has been repeatedly looking at her phone all morning, picking at her nails and sometimes whispering into Shawn’s ear when she disagrees with the witness testimony.

Lindsay Lohan isn’t the only one acting inappropriately at her felony grand theft court case today, her lawyer Shawn Chapman Holley has been creating quite the stir! During the first half of the preliminary hearing today in Los Angeles, the D.A. called Kamofie & Co. store owner Sofia Kaman to the stand as well as a store employee, Tinelli Comsooksri, who was there the day Lindsay allegedly stole the necklace. When Shawn Holley started cross-examining owner Sofia Kaman, she kept harping on Lindsay’s cleavage!

“When she wasn’t on her phone, Lindsay jotted down a few notes while Sofia took the stand. Sofia explained the store did not receive any money from the supposed $25,000 sale of the surveillance tape. She also expressed her belief that Lindsay’s friend Patrick acted as a decoy while the duo were shopping,” explains our spy.

“Judge Stephanie Sautner had her eyes locked on Lindsay during Shawn’s cross examination. When Shawn asked why the store had security cameras the owner responded ‘Because of theft,’ and Lindsay looked surprised when everybody in the courtroom laughed. But then, things got a little odd.”

How so? “Shawn kept grilling the owner different ways about whether or not she was looking at Lindsay’s breasts, since Lindsay was wearing a low-cut top. The witness insisted she never looked at Lindsay’s cleavage. Shawn was trying to make the point that if you saw her breasts, you saw her necklace, which means Lindsay was allowed to take it and didn’t steal it. At one point the witness started arguing with Shawn, and she looked very unprepared.”

So how did Lindsay feel about this line of questioning? “She looked very uncomfortable while they were talking about her breasts. Shortly after they broke for lunch and Lindsay was escorted by eight security guards to go to the bathroom. She then ordered chinese food and went to the bathroom again, where she ran into her father Michael and they had a cordial chat.”

[From Hollywood Life - two stories]

Gee, I wonder why she has to go to the bathroom so often? *SNIFF*

So, just so we’re on the same page, Linnocent sat through her pretrial hearing – in which the judge bent over backwards to “give her a chance” and “go easy on her” – coked out of her skull. She was doing blow in the courthouse bathroom. Certainly someone could have caught her, right?

By the way, you can see clearly through Linnocent’s bodysuit – she’s not wearing a bra, but she is wearing some kind of spaghetti-strapped tank underneath it.

UPDATE: WTF? I have no idea what’s happening.

Judge Stephanie Sautner just threw the book at Lindsay Lohan for her probation violation, sentencing her to 120 days in county jail!!!

Lindsay has been remanded into custody and taken to the basement of the courthouse for booking. Lindsay’s lawyer has said she’ll appeal, which means Lindsay is entitled to post bail.

Lohan was also ordered to complete 480 hours of community service — 360 of those hours must be performed at the Downtown Women’s Center, so Lindsay can see how needy women have to live. The remaining 120 hours will be served at the L.A. County morgue.

Judge Sautner explained that Lindsay should have called the store and notified the owners about the necklace sooner. She waited several weeks and returned the necklace after finding out the cops were about to raid her house.

Sautner seemed influenced by the surveillance video, which she saw for the first time in court today. Sautner agreed with Danette Meyers, who argued Lindsay used her friend Patrick as a decoy to distract the clerk.

[From TMZ]

So… she’ll probably post bail…? How can she be sentenced to 120 days in jail YET get bail?!?!?

UPDATE #2: Okay, I’ve actually been thinking about it, and here’s what I think it happening – she’ll post bond (or bail or whatever it’s called, I’m not a *grumble* lawyer) and she’ll be out until June, when her crack trial is. Whatever happens during the crack trial, it doesn’t really matter because the judge’s sentence still stands and she will actually have to do the time in jail because THAT sentence is for her probation violation, right? Er… Imma go to law school.




Photos courtesy of Fame.

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133 Responses to “Linnocent’s sentenced to 120 days in jail (update)”

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  1. flourpot says:

    I can’t even think of a good wisecrack. Whole situations just pathetic.

  2. Chris says:

    Lilo is actually accumulating a fair bit of fodder for a biopic.

  3. Shy says:

    Salute for Celebrity Justice!!!

    I can’t even. What the hell is wrong with America? People should go to the court doors, stand with signs and scream about the celebrity justice in front if the court doors. When 300 people will yell and scream then they would have to listen. What the eff? She spits in the face of law system, spits in the judges faces and still they let her out to steal and use drugs.

    Judge Marsha Revel (the one who gave her 90 days) is the only normal judge in America. What are those stupid probations for? What kind of joke that system is? Why was that rapper T.I. sentenced? He violated his probation and in few weeks he was in jail. This idiot violated her probation THIRD time and still they let her go to do whatever she wants. What is wrong with those stupid judges?

    Seriously – Lohan can easy go and spit in the face of that judge and that idiot will give her another bail. She can also officially go drunk and drive again and even kill someone, whatever… And that judges will give her another probation.

    Of course Lohan didn’t want to plead guilty and do time. She knows that at the end of that trial that stupid judge will bent on her knees and will apologize to her for all that trouble. And will ask if Lohan would want to take money from tax payers for all those troubles. Then she will kiss her ass and wave for good bye….

  4. Turquoise Blue says:

    By now I should know better, but I was really hoping maybe THIS time Lindsay would get treated like a regular criminal. I’m so naive.

    Another day in court, another weird and inappropriate outfit for Lindsay. A skin-tight top with clown pants, and is it her bra line or a tank top we can see through the shirt? She looks ridiculous.

  5. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Kaiser – I’m sure she returned from lunch loaded as well!

    GAH! And the judge said “I’m going to give her a chance.”!?! Are you effing kidding me?! How many judges feel the compelling need to give this cracked-out train wreck “a chance” before they get what we already know: Linnocent Blohan will never learn!

    Oh, someone, anyone of my fellow crack-tail-gaters, quick! Pass me something with at least 2 forms of mind-altering substance in it, STAT!

  6. ctkat1 says:

    Well, we just have to console ourselves that while legal justice will never be served to Lilo, at least cosmic justice has come through in spades: she’s ruined her looks, career, bank account, reputation, and probably health.

  7. BarbadoSlim says:

    They’re not doing this druggie any favors, they’re just setting her up for future tragedy.

  8. brin says:

    $*%#*! This is just so disgusting…Crackie must be laughing and getting cracked out of her mind right now.

  9. Novaraen says:

    Again the California justice system fails HARD.

  10. yadicakes says:

    of course not….sigh :/

    I do like her pants though

  11. fizXgirl314 says:

    Honestly, it never did look to me like she stole it. Besides, that store was totally milking the situation by selling the videotapes and whoring themselves out to the media every which way… I mean really, how you gonna say someone stole something if you gave it to them to put it on and they walked away. I call BS.

  12. icantbelievethis says:

    I don’t understand why a judge got to decide the charges. Let a jury of her ‘peers’ decide on guilty/innocent.

    Of course now I’m sure she’ll get to cut a deal for no jail time or have to serve 3 days.

    I wish they’d either make her face actual consequences or stop dragging her into court.

  13. ctkat1 says:

    @BarbadoSlim: I was thinking about this- if she hurts/kills someone else, what responsibility will these judges feel? I know they won’t be legally responsible, but morally…they let her out, and she hurt someone because she’s so obviously still using and abusing alcohol and drugs. It’s really just a matter of time before someone is seriously harmed by her.

  14. FluffyPrincess says:

    And now the crack hustle will continue. . .


  15. lindseythecrackthief says:

    Get ready for the photos of Lindsey hitting the clubs and bars hard . i give it 48 hours max.
    she looks like shes Doing the morning walk of shame in these pics.

  16. skilo says:

    So sick of this bitch and Cali justice but I have faith in karmic justice, so eventually she will pay for all her crap. When karma catches up to her a few days in jail will look good in comparison.

  17. Beauty says:

    sorry, i don’t read lindsay BS anymore. what exactly happen?

  18. Rita says:

    Children need discipline not enablers and the whole f’n system is enabling her.

  19. Madisyn says:

    Meyers is correct. Misdemeanor or felony, SHE VIOLATED PROBATION! Why is this twit not in jail?

  20. hellen says:

    So I guess she really DOES have to kill somebody in order to go to jail, huh?

    If this was any one of us, you know right where our asses would be at this moment.

  21. Kim says:

    California justice has nothing to do with it. ANYONE with no priors (which Lindsay doesnt have) would get the same. Lindsay is a wreck and im certainly not giving her any credit because we all know she stole that necklace, BUT she has no priors hence why it was turned into a misdemeanor. Because she has no shoplifting priors the court has to look at this case individually.

    The court is not supposed to think of her past antics, rehab stints etc. They are to look at this charge and this charge only. And she has no criminal record for shoplifting hence the misdemeanor. She will have to attend classes and pay restitution.

    NO ONE gets a felony charge for a first time shoplifting UNLESS the case goes to trail and they are found guilty.

    Going to trial would be expensive for the state of CA which is broke so judges do push for no trials. They make more money off fines/restitutions than trials so she did get lucky in that sense.

    Now that she has a misdemeanor if she does steal again it will automatically be a felony – so the crack head who cant help herself will most likely be back in court for shoplifting again. Store owners will keep a close eye on her no doubt.

  22. Samigirl says:

    I bet @Innocent is doing a victory dance right about now….

  23. Katherine M. says:

    I’m not sure what people are expecting. If this was a preliminary hearing then of course the judicial officer decides if there is sufficient evidence to support a felony or not. There has to be “probable cause” and PC is a very, very low standard and the rules of evidence are generally looser than at trial. Obviously there wasn’t even that to support the felony charge. The case was overcharged which I thought from the beginning.

    Also alleged violations of probation based on rearrest are not decided until there is a disposition one way or another in the new case. Similarly alleged parole violations are also trailed until the new charges are resolved.

    I’m not seeing anything out of the ordinary in Lohan’s case.

  24. Liana says:

    ANYONE with no priors (which Lindsay doesnt have) would get the same.

    NO ONE gets a felony charge for a first time shoplifting UNLESS the case goes to trail and they are found guilty.

    * * * * *

    If she has no priors, why is she on probation? For being an asshole?

    And sorry, but no. Felony vs misdemeanor theft is based on value of the item stolen, not number of offenses. Someone who decides to steal, oh, let’s say 10K worth of goods would go to trial for felony theft, regardless of whether or not it was the first offense. Felony vs misdemeanor is decided BEFORE trial, not after.

  25. Kim says:

    CA jails are over crowded and Lindsay wont rehabilitate there. She is better of being forced to take classes and pay a fine. I think she would rather serve jail time than have to pay a huge fine-ha! seriously though.

  26. the original bellaluna says:

    So, brin, Rita, Madisyn, happygirl, Eileen (am I missing anyone?) – we’ll stay on top of her antics until the next crack-tail-gate, yes? ;)

  27. Kim says:

    She has no SHOPLIFTING priors. The judge herself said due to her not having a prior shoplifting and her DUI being 4 yrs ago is why she lessened the charge.

    Misdemeanors and felonies have to do with priors AND the amount of the item stolen. There can be several factors involved.

    The case HASNT been dismissed so she may go to trial but i doubt it.

    I with you Lianna – she is a crackhead with no remorse and i think she is guilty and i do think her karma will come sooner than later.

    Im just saying, being an atty, I see why the judge made the decision she did.

  28. flourpot says:

    zomg: 4:23 PM PT: A HUGE UPSET — in a shocking move, Judge Sautner just SENTENCED Lindsay to 120 days in county jail … and 480 hours community service.

    Lindsay was just remanded into custody.

    re: TMZ

  29. Shy says:

    Oh My God. Now TMZ says she is in Jail :) Open Champaign!!!

  30. yt says:

    Judge Stephanie Sautner just threw the book at Lindsay Lohan for her probation violation, sentencing her to 120 days in county jail!!!

    Lohan was also ordered to complete 480 days of community service — 360 of those hours must be performed at the Downtown Women’s Center, so Lindsay can see how needy women have to live. The remaining 120 hours will be served at the L.A. County morgue.

    ETA: Quotes from TMZ. The 480 days should be hours.

  31. Crystalline says:

    Of interest, she was just sentenced for the violation and has been remanded. TMZ was all over her possibly not facing a punishment until the trial was done, so they probably are crying over Linnocent. Even if the jail time is reduced, those hundreds of hours of community service aren’t going anywhere.

  32. Katherine M. says:

    If a defendant’s priors has something to do with the degree of offense charged then that is a specific statute for that jurisdiction similar to a 3 strikes law or one that increases penalties the more oyu repeat a specific offense. Normally the degree of seriousness (i.e., Felony Theft I or Misemeanor Theft II) in property offenses is the value of the loss or damage. I would certainly be arguing that the actual value of that necklace is in misdemeanor territory no matter how much the jeweler overprices it.

    I think she should go to trial. There seems to be plenty of reasonable doubt in this case.

  33. Eze says:

    Yay LindsaY!
    Just like Jesus rose from the dead and the phoenix rose from the ashes, Lindsey rises above the haters and wins yet again!
    Rock On Lindsey Lohen!

    Ohno, Lindsey’s going to jail!?! Be strong Lindsey, looks like the fascists won this round

  34. wunderkindt says:

    And the crack shennanigans roll on. . .

  35. Shy says:

    I wonder how long will she stay there. 2 hours? 5 days? 15 days? Let’s pray.

    Seriously if they can’t keep those idiots in jail because of overcrowding then they should take their money. Once someone will be caught drunk driving – immediately take out his car. Forever. That will teach them a lesson. And then sentence them to community service. Not for 30 hours. For 5-6 months. Let them clean toilets from 8 to 5. That would be a lot better punishment and lesson.

  36. Stef says:

    Wait, CNN has “breaking news” that she is going to jail for 120 days for violating her probation. They are saying she was JUST escorted to jail. Is this not true/has this been changed?

  37. Eileen says:

    From TMZ: Judge Stephanie Sautner just threw the book at Lindsay Lohan for her probation violation, sentencing her to 120 days in county jail!!!

  38. Eileen says:

    Woohoooo I’m gonna plug that Redbull vodka fountain in!!

  39. yt says:

    Where is Innocent? Shouldn’t she be here to explain how fair the judge is? Yeah!

  40. Bee says:

    According to E news Lindsay is in jail!!!! Apparently she’s been locked up for violating her probation and sentenced to 120 days in jail, 480 hours community service. Shawn Chapman is already appealing so who knows how long Lindsay will actually stay behind bars.

  41. Shy says:

    They say she could be bailed out. Why??? She was sentenced. How on earth she can be bailed out? It’s like you will murder someone, will have to serve 15 years and then in 15 minutes they will release you on bail :)

  42. Innocent says:

    I think the community service was excessive 480 hours and Shawn is appealing the sentence.
    However i still think the Judge was very fair by reducing the charge in such a public case.

  43. wunderkindt says:


    Blohan was taken into custody a few minutes ago. It’s 120 days of jail for probabtion violation. However for celebs, that probably means 10 days only.

    Her lawyer will try to appeal. She could get out on bail.

    May this fail badly!

  44. Solveig says:

    Is she going to jail or not?

  45. Innocent says:

    Bail set at 75k and Lindsay’s bail bondsman was at court.

  46. Sam says:

    Its called an appeal bond. She is entitled to post bond while she appeals the Court’s ruling. Also it was a probation violation not a parole violation.

  47. Shy says:

    Why would she serve those 480 hours of community service? :) She can easy don’t show up. What will they do anyway? They will give her another stupid probation, will book her and then release in 5 minutes.

    Really she would be just stupid to show up at community service :)

  48. dread pirate cuervo says:

    If she got sentenced & carted off to jail today, does that mean she spends the weekend in the clink? I understand they do that to deadbeat parents, arrest them on Fridays so they have to spend whole weekend in jail.

  49. Solveig says:

    I’m seeing the update now, and I’m more confused than before…

  50. lucy2 says:

    120 days, she’ll probably have to serve at least 30, right?
    Annoyed they lessened her charge, but glad the judge is calling her on the probation violation. Though I don’t get how you can be bailed out of a sentence.
    What number speed dial do you think her bail bondsmand is? 4 or 5, after her dealer, her mommy, and her lawyer?

  51. Rita says:

    Our justice system permits any judge’s ruling and verdict to be appealed. While on appeal, the appeallet judge grants bail so the rights of an innocent defendent are not violated by having them serve time for something they didn’t do….unless your a celebrity, then you are granted bail for any damn thing. Linnocent might get to appeal this to the Supreme Court, but it’s costing her a bundle.

  52. Happymom says:

    Oh-Innocent/Dina-we’ve missed you. Come, tell us more about how “excessive” the judge was and how they all have it in for your poor, misunderstood “child”.

  53. Kat says:

    How much do you want to bet she serves 1% or less of that 120 day sentence?

  54. Blank says:

    Kaiser updated since I was last on. Honestly as long as she goes to jail for 120 days then I’m fine. I just want her gone for as long as possible.

    Does anyone else thing she may legitimately have mental issues? There’s something off about her (drugs aside).

  55. Hmmm says:

    This idea of justice is sick. And there is no one willing to protest other than the DA. I’m depressed.

    ETA Winona Ryder had no priors and was convicted of 2 counts of felony shoplifting. It was only while she was rehabilitating herself on probation that they were reduced to misdemeanours.

  56. OhMyMy says:


    Go directly to jail…Do Not Pass GO….Do not collect $200.


    I’m so happy right now. Yeah, yeah I know she’ll probably bail out and spend a fraction of it in jail but all that community service is a great idea. Guess that’ll put a kink into bopping back and forth to NYC.

    And she still had to BEG for a crappy role.

  57. e.non says:

    and there’s no way in hell she was expecting to be taken into custody this afternoon. oh, i hope they do a drug test. lol.

  58. the original bellaluna says:

    Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha – I would PAY to see her do those 120 hours at the LA County Morgue!! What do you want to bet she passes out and pulls a “Parasite in Jail” act to get out of it?

    And that pic of her behind bars they have on TMZ is priceless. At least she didn’t have to change her pants! Looks like the jail-issue top matches pretty well.

  59. Becky says:

    She’s going to be doing some of her community service at the L.A. County Morgue?? That’s interesting-wonder what they’ll have her doing there?

  60. So_Confused (aka Marie) says:

    What the hell is going on? I am so confused..I thought she wasn’t going to be sentenced today?? Hell I give up, I am going for a beer. When the shit settles down someone draw me a picture.

  61. Innocent says:

    No “injustice” comments from me i think the Judge was fair and despite there being no trial yet this WAS a technical probation violation.

    Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Stephanie Sautner said that Lohan had an “absolute right” to a stay on her jail time, pending an appeal, but that the community service is non-negotiable.

    Read more:

  62. brin says:

    Another Lindsay whiplash situation….let’s hope she stays in jail!

  63. Pauline says:

    Looks like she should have taken the plea!!

  64. Quest says:

    I am so depressed this girl gets away easy every time

  65. skeptical says:

    i think the judge was trying to get lilo to understand just how privileged she really is, hence the long hours of community service.
    i still want her in prison though. if it had been any of us.. we’d have been in jail for months back in 2007 for the carjacking and kidnapping and high-speed chase.

  66. Could she had possibly be doing coke in the bathroom while in court? Everyone would have noticed. This article writer has a delightful dislike of Lindsey although I have to agree she is getting a lot of breaks time after time. I enjoy reading about Lindsey’s escapades on this website. My other faves are dlisted and the superficial.

  67. Hautie says:

    So that 480 hours is what maybe 60 days of doing community duties. If it is done in 8 hour days.

    I am taking bets right now, that Lindsay will not do those days in the time allotted. And will end up doing more jail time for not fulfilling her community service.

    Why doesn’t she just do the friggin time and get it over with. What would she do 21 days? That way she won’t get bounced off the movie role she finally got offered.

    I do not believe for one moment, that Lohan has the cash to pay for this attorney.

    So I am starting to question the motives of her attorney for not having that come to Jesus talk that Lohan needs to hear.

    “You got busted. I just got that felony graded down to a misdemeanor… do your time and SHUT UP!”

    And when am I getting paid?

  68. Raven Sparrow says:

    To jail or not to jail?????? I don’t understand anymore!!!

    Is she now locked up and crying and biting her nails while lying on a stripped cot (or is that just in movies)?

    Eileeeeeeen! Could you make me one of your delicious crackmopolitains? Pretty please with crack on top? I really need to calm down. :D

  69. Madisyn says:

    Sorry Ladies, I had to address a medical bill and it tooks hours but I’m back with my Vodka/7up! (Really)

    Question for fellow crack tailgaters brin, happygirl, Rita, Eileen, and original bellaluna: Why the fuck was she TEXTING IN COURT? You can’t even have a cell phone or text in THE GALLERY, LET ALONE AT THE DEFENDANTS TABLE?

    @ original bellaluna, of course I’ll share Eileens percocet with you. And yes we’ll all stay on top of the crack shenanigans and you know there will be plenty.

    @ brin, Thank you for the well wishes, Happy Easter to you and all other crack tailgaters.

    @ Eileen, I hope your back is OK. If you need Original Bellaluna’s and my coke mirror or crack pipe, let us know. We’ll share.

  70. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Madisyn – Thank you. I fear my crack tailgater hangover will be immense!

    My two cents on her texting in court: she shoulda been told to knock it off or be fined (or tossed in the clink) for contempt of court. Clearly no one in the court room, aside from the prosecutor & prosecution witnesses, took the proceedings seriously. And why would they, when they really haven’t in the past?

    @ Eileen – I also hope your back is OK, and we’ll be happy to share whatever you need.

    Happy Easter, All!

  71. newtsgal says:

    I’m not saying this to be mean but, she has once again gotten away with a slap on the wrist. Mark my words if she don’t change she will be dead within a year. Just wait, watch and see!
    Then we will have to listen to white oprah sell her story of “we always did what was best and we don’t understand why she’s dead” book tour.

  72. kira says:

    4 months seems excessive to me, but I know she will only serve a fraction of it. I also wonder if she was so F’ED and high during the whole jewelry shopping that she didn’t even know whether she stole that necklace. I mean–as a juror–I would have my doubts? Regardless, I don’t feel bad for her because of her previous drug incidents. She needs a wake-up call. Let’s hope she gets sober in the slammer.

    And this does piss me off when I think Charlie “Warlock” Sheen is still out there AFTER assaulting people. So, what is the justice system saying, property is worth more than people!? This whole thing is F’ED up. Seriously. Celebs and the law equals no justice–EVER.

  73. khaveman says:

    LOSER. Stealing a necklace? Laughable. Obviously a former actress who doesn’t want a career. Stupid waste of talent and opportunity.

  74. khaveman says:

    This press may be giving her exposure, but how much TIME has LL wasted with all of this legal crap? She obviously doesn’t want to work in the industry.

  75. Madisyn says:

    @ Eileen, put away that beautiful Vodka/Red Bull fountain, Blohan is bailing out this evening.

    @ Raven Sparrow, your not the only one confused. Whats happening exactly with “pretrial” on May 11th? I THINK I know whats going to happen at “trial” on June 3rd.

    @ original bellaluna, since were taking bets, place mine on the odds she does community service the same way she attended alcohol education classes

    @ Elciebeno08 she most certainly COULD do blow in the bathroom, according to the article 8, fucking 8 guards escorted her to the can, you know they cleared it out first. I strongly disagree with you, I believe she was snorting up a storm.

    @ happygirl, where are you, you OK, passed out, what? We did imbibe like a “Lohan”.

  76. BarbadoSlim says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA now that’s more like it. Turn to the right and spread’em, convict.

  77. Nikki says:

    I want to punch her in the face.

  78. MaudeLebowski says:

    All those judges are required to be there to deal with the repulsive crackie, so why don’t they actually DO THEIR JOBS and throw the bitch in jail? It’s not like letting her get away over and over again saves anyone any time. I just don’t understand. I guess I can assume they are all corrupt, and she has several sexual favours to pay off later.

  79. jill says:

    @ #61: I love “L’Inmate” as the new nickname. LOL!!!!!

  80. lucy2 says:

    I too bet she can’t pay the attorney, who probably only keeps her as a client for the fame and a future book deal or something.

  81. Lia says:

    I have to assume the judges in this case are being paid off, selling their souls and integrity for a pat on the back and some nice cash from the Lohans. Either that, or maybe all of the judges in California are starstruck idiots and low-lifes? This judge and the ones before her should be ashamed of themselves, but they won’t be, because people like that never are.

  82. Shannon says:

    Ok, from what I’m understanding, here’s what happened:

    The judge found that Lindsay was in violation of her probation, so she was sentenced to 120 days in jail. However, her lawyer wants to appeal that decision. This means that if Lindsay has the money to post bail, she can and will be allowed to stay out of jail until the hearing for the probation violation is reviewed.

    At least I *think* that’s what was written, but it doesn’t make a lot of sense and it’s possible the original article authors don’t know enough about the legal system to accurately report what happened.

    For people who were wondering:

    Pretrial is the initial stuff you do before a jury trial. At a pretrial, you enter your plea and if you’ve agreed to take the plea deal the prosecutor offers, your lawyer presents it and the case will not proceed to a jury trial (over 95% of criminal cases end in a plea deal agreement). If you decide not to take a plea, the trial can proceed to jury trial if you choose that route instead of having a judge decide.

    The actual trial is the part where both sides argue their case in front of a jury, at which point the jury decides on a guilty or not guilty verdict.
    Then there’s the sentencing trial where, if you’ve been found guilty, you’re assigned a sentence. The jury for this trial may be the same as it was for the actual trial, or it might be new people, it depends on the jurisdiction. The jury will hear the facts of the case and make a recommendation to the judge. The judge may or may not decide to agree with the jury and will hand down the official sentence.

    And for the people ripping on the judges – please keep in mind that California has absolutely no money or space to prosecute and house criminals, and there’s enough violent crime that they have to spend most of their time prioritizing and prosecuting the worst of the worst – murderers, domestic abusers, rapists and pedophiles, gang bangers, violent robbers, etc. Lindsay Lohan may not be an angel, but she’s not that bad compared to the really horrific criminals in our society. She’s not getting special treatment. She’s just low on the food chain. She’s nothing but a sad little drug addict with a penchant for stealing sparkly baubles. It would be a far more egregious miscarriage of justice if a murderer walked free just because the American public wants vengeance when it comes to a celebrity who’s screwed up her life.

    This judge in this case clearly DOES care, and realizes that the people who will supervise her community service will make sure she is exposed to real poverty and problems. It’s meant to open her eyes to the fact that she needs to get her shit together because mommy and daddy not getting along is not that big a deal compared to not having a roof over your head, a job, or food security. If she doesn’t take this opportunity, then yeah she’ll probably be thrown in the slammer. But since she didn’t commit a violent crime, she’ll probably spend less than 24 hours in jail. It’s not like that will make her learn a lesson either. At least hundreds of hours of community service is something you can’t wiggle out of easily.

  83. Isa says:

    community service at the county morgue? Yuk!

  84. Madisyn says:

    @ Shannon thanks for the info on the pretrial. So on May 11th all Blohan will do is plead “guilty or not guilty”? According to the above article, she already did that. (Plead NOT GUILTY) I’m still confused.

    As far as “the jury will hear the facts of the case and make a recommendation to the judge” That I completely disagree with, after a jury verdict, the judge decides the sentence, only in a death penalty case, does the jury have a say, at least in California.

  85. Madisyn says:

    Uh Oh, wait till you girls who on the first Crack tailgate thread commented on LeAnn Rimes. . . She married him with little fanfare, wait till Kaiser gets ahold of this! Oh boy!

  86. Jag says:

    Why did the judge not charge her for contempt with all of Linnocent’s texting and antics? Had that been a “regular” person, he/she would’ve been told to get rid of the phone in a second.

    CA “justice” doesn’t surprise me anymore. I just read these articles because I love your writing, Kaiser. lol

  87. brin says:

    AAARRRRRGGG! The only good thing about this was our cracked out tailgate party…see ya next time (I’ll bring a truckload of Teqila Jolly Ranchers)!!!!

  88. Solveig says:

    April 22nd, 2011 at 9:38 pm

    I’m not saying this to be mean but, she has once again gotten away with a slap on the wrist. Mark my words if she don’t change she will be dead within a year. Just wait, watch and see!
    Then we will have to listen to white oprah sell her story of “we always did what was best and we don’t understand why she’s dead” book tour.


    I think that all the things that are happening to her, all this fuss, drugs included, are just postponing the day her mind will break. Once she wakes up and realizes where she is and what she is, it wouldn’t surprise me if she’d committed suicide.

    *and still I don’t undestand what’s happening with the trial.*

  89. Marie says:

    Sam is right.. they can’t put her in jail if her lawyer is allowed to appeal. It basically means the sentence has not been fully determined yet, hence why she shouldn’t be in jail just yet. Think we just gotta be patient here :)

  90. the original bellaluna says:

    I live in CA, have all my life, and believe it or not:

    In times of budget crises like these, prisons are not only sometimes closed, but they also take a look at how many of their “least of the worst” they can parole early.

    That’s right kids: not only do you generally not go to jail for these Blohan-type shenanigans; but if you do end up in jail – or even prison, and there’s a difference – you usually won’t be there for your full sentence.

    Convicted criminals have been released/paroled early to deal with the budget cuts and the over-crowding. Scary, no?

  91. Crash2GO2 says:

    @Shannon: Thanks for the informative post.

  92. Liana says:

    I’m still trying to get over the texting in court. Are cellphones allowed in California courtrooms? I know they’re not in New York (I work in LA a lot, but I’m technically a resident of New York, so I serve my jury duty in NY).

  93. Raven says:

    Jails and Prisons are overpopulated because over 1/2 are in for NON VIOLENT DRUG OFFENSES.

    Fix the antiquated drug laws.

    That is all.

  94. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Liana – I don’t think they’re allowed in courtrooms in CA either. She should have been told to hand it to the bailiff until the proceedings were over or face fines/jail for contempt of court. What a dunderhead.

  95. Meg says:


  96. Louise says:

    I dont think Lindsay is getting special treatment. The media has covered the CA justice system a lot. As mentioned the least violent offenders are a low priority. When celebrities get out after a few hours people scream special treatment but non-celebrities receive the same treatment. If I remember correctly she served 2 months out of 6 the last time she went to jail. She’ll probably serve 4-6 weeks for this sentence. I think what will really kill Lindsay is the community service. I can’t imagine her doing that many hours. If she could, I’m sure Lindsay would rather do the time in jail than community service.

  97. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Raven – WORD.

  98. Cora says:

    @ Louise
    “If I remember correctly she served 2 months out of 6 the last time she went to jail.”

    I wish she had served two months but alas she didn’t. Lindsay served 13 days of a 3 month sentence.

  99. the original bellaluna says:

    And I would still PAY to see her working in the morgue, even as a volunteer.

    Think “Parasite & Nicole’s Reality Show” meets “I Love New York” but in a morgue, with Blohan. The mind shudders to think!

    OH, and FYI: CA raised the $$ amount of misdemeanor thefts to $950 a while back, when they decided their money was better spent on wooing businesses to CA than on enforcing the law, the “justice” system (HA!), and civil service.

  100. yt says:

    Now that Lindsay has committed to being a Christian who celebrates the holy days, I wonder what she will be wearing to Easter services. Something inappropriate. The paps are awaiting their early morning call to photograph her unless they photograph her leaving a club at 4:00 in the morning.

  101. bluhare says:

    @shannon: that was a great summation; thank you!

    There’s a reason for the sober attire, etc., as soon as I saw the photos I thought to myself that she’s just doing this because now she’s got Real Jobs in her future . . . and she’ll be back to being the glamorous movie star she thinks she is.

    So while I was initially PO’d about the results of yesterday like everyone else, I am starting to think that the huge community service sentence is the only punishment that might, and that’s a short might, have an effect on her. Jail won’t; it just adds to the sense of entitlement and general martyrdom.

    But I’m with everyone who thinks that she won’t get it done in the time allotted because she’s got to be on movie sets everyone! And she’s got to go to Cannes to promote them! And then she’s got to go to New York for directors meetings in clubs at 2:00am! It’s tough being a Real Famous Movie Star.

  102. Madisyn says:

    @ Original Bellaluna, Good mornin, the other girls must be sleeping in, afterall we all did party like a “lohan” yesterday!

  103. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Madisyn – Oh, yes we did, girlfriend! I didn’t go to bed until after midnight, but I was up at 5:30 (stupid internal alarm clock!) – Good mornin’ to you, as well!

    And if you hop on over to the Rhimes/Cibrian (or whatever) marriage, we’re sharing extras from the tailgate with LadyD.

  104. OhMyMy says:

    @yt: That’s funny. Thanks for the morning laugh.

    Think she’ll go outside her house and pose for pap pics in her Easter outfit? Will Dina and Ali join her? Oooh….maybe Mikey Boy will show up too and the whole family can try hiding in the closet.

  105. The Bobster says:

    A “B” actress whose only talent is getting in trouble.

  106. OXA says:

    Maby Lindsay thinks mugshots are headshots.

  107. jill says:

    A question for the legal experts — Can L’Inmate’s attorney appeal the community service or is she required to do this and if so, does she have to start right away? I’m asking because I think that this is actually the best news to come out of this latest runway performance by L’Inmate. She clearly won’t do any jail time, but it would be nice if she HAS to perform the community service. Fingers crossed.

  108. khaveman says:

    Who is paying Linnocent’s bills, cuz beotch hasn’t worked in years and I can’t imagine her legal bills.

  109. logan says:

    Those poor, poor women at the homeless shelter. Just what is she going to do for them. Tell them the best place to get your lips inflated? The best place to buy all your drugs? Possibly donate some of her fug leggings? The best way to dress up an ankle bracelet? And just what is she to do at the morgue? I doubt if any of it shocks her. I would have just as soon seen her out along a busy highway in a striped jumpsuit picking up trash. Or better yet working in an animal shelter picking up animal droppings.

  110. Madisyn says:

    @ jill, I believe I read somewhere that the community service is non-negoitable and required. Also, she must sign up next week.

  111. the original bellaluna says:

    I hear told that Blohan was released by 9:30 – plenty of time to get changed, drunk, and high before heading to the club!

  112. Ruby Red Lips says:

    EZE, if you’re such a fan of Lindsay at least know how to spell her name correctly – douche bag….

    So is Lindsay in jail or not??!!??

    Shots of crack delusion at the ready if she’s in jail :D

  113. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Ruby Red – Shots of Delusion at the ready anyway: it’s Saturday, dangit!

  114. harfang says:

    What Raven said. And that county is beyond notorious for singling out Black folks, men especially, for felony jail time related to nonviolent drugs offenses. I would think Latinos are less safe than whites also.

    The community service sounds fantastic actually, I don’t mean the morgue part (although that could help the stupid kid put things into perspective as well) but the rest of it. I hope the 480 hours stays, I care more about that than jail time. In jail, she’ll just sit there seething about Poor Her, it won’t really make her a better member of society.

  115. Madisyn says:

    @ original bellaluna, TMZ has got a post saying that nitwit Blohan was “blindsided” and she thought the sentence was “ridiculous” and “f*cked up”. Leave it to our crackhead to STILL NOT GET IT!

    @ Ruby Red, twits not in jail, she got bailed out after 5 HOURS

    Could someone please pass me a vat of delusion. I need it!

  116. butterfly onlooker says:

    Best case ever for the existence of celebrity programming through the government (bluebird, mk, etc.) as well as (in this case) faulty programming. They’re going to let everything slide, even though allowing her self-destruction to continue uninhibited is dangerous to regular people (bystanders, pedestrians, etc.) and herself, because the system is what made her who and what she is. And probably isn’t done with whatever she’s meant to do for them.

    She will never be convicted beyond a show trial/sentence. She’s consciously and conscientiously protected by the same people who will eventually and quietly destroy her when they are finished.

  117. jj says:

    Lindsay should write a book about all of this (including probation requirements at the morgue/women’s shelter); it will make her more money than any movie she has made. And it will gain her some creditibility (maybe)

  118. Ron says:

    I am not a lawyer, but seriously i am amazed at some of the dimwitted posts on this thread. Having worked in retail in BH, with a number of famous shoplifters, this is more than 99.9% of them get. Also, the amount stolen has nothing to due with the ticket price, it’s the replacement price, which is wholesale. Which is also the amount that can be turned in for insurance purposes. So the judge really had no choice here and the DA should have known better.

  119. Shelley says:

    @Harfang, nothing can ‘make’ Linmate a better member of society. And to you, Shannon, Dina/Innocent who keep referring to her as a non-violent offender: ask the people she literally held hostage in that car while driving high and at breakneck speeds how non-violent they think she is. Then, given all the times she’s driven drunk/high, ask yourself how non-violent she is after she’s killed one or more people, which is almost inevitable. Driving drunk/high is one of the most aggressively homicidal actions anyone can take. I wish the justice system saw it that way.

  120. jill says:

    @123: Dimwit here. I am not a lawyer either which is why I asked the questions I did.

    If I understand correctly, the community service she just received is punishment for probation violation. The matter of the stolen necklace is still unresolved. Yes?

    My next question for the legal experts is this: Now that Necklacegate has been reduced to a misdemeanor, is it too late for her to plead guilty? Can she still plead guilty and spend the couple of days in jail she would be sentenced for a misdemeanor? Or does it HAVE to go to trial? It seems like a lot of wasted tax dollars to me if it has to go to trial.

  121. Crash2GO2 says:

    @butterfly onlooker: “because the system is what made her who and what she is.”

    Another Lindsey apologist. If that were true, all celebrities would be the wastrels that she is. And in the vast majority, they are not.

  122. Hakura says:

    Well, disappointed as I was that my grandest of birthday wishes wasn’t granted… I suppose even I can admit I’d rather the court spend time on a rapist, as opposed to what amounts to a high-school detention for Lohan.

    The morgue… I wonder what sort of job she’ll get. (& what possessed the judge to pick THAT job… perhaps we’re not giving them enough credit? Sounds like a pretty vindictive assignment.)

    I’m sure everyone is nursing hangovers in the Leann Rimes-Cibrean (or however the hell she decided to do it) thread, so I guess I’ll be needing some hair of the dog.

  123. Anti-icon says:

    I’m with Jill upthread about the community service REQUIREMENT actually being met, for a change. Charlie Warlock Sheen got out of his community service in Colorado, where he also skated on an arrest for domestic violence (the beginning of the mess.) Colorado is NOT generally lenient on its own citizens in “offenses” like these. California is a f’ing joke. But….maybe if public opinion (Us, us, us) is strong enough, L’inmate will HAVE TO PERFORM ALL HER COMMUNITY SERVICE.

  124. Samigirl says:

    So. This link on fb has a picture of me instead of Lilo. It’s awfully strange.

  125. Innocent says:

    It is is HER decision to go to trial. She was never pleading to a felony but maybe now it is a misdemeanor the NEW prosecutor will be reasonable.
    However she can could win at trial and avoid more punishment.

  126. MaudeLebowski says:

    It was felony grand theft in empirical fact. In the real world that everyone else accepts they live in.

    It was bumped down by famewhore judges.

    She has never received ANY punishment.
    You are deeply pathetic, *Innocent*. You make me weep for the future. Justice means nothing to you. Neither does the safety of the GOOD people in society.

  127. Hakura says:

    @MaudeLebowski“You are deeply pathetic, *Innocent*.”
    I know how weird this is going to sound, as someone who definitely wants to see Lindsay get her come uppance, but I respect Innocent for expressing her opinion…. even knowing she’s pretty much completely alone in it on this community.

    I disagree with your opinion, Innocent, but respect that you still express it. =) I’m not sure I’d be able to do so, knowing what sort of negative responses my comments would receive.

  128. MaudeLebowski says:

    This Innocent person writes glowing things about Lindsay all the time, lying about her innocence and denying what she has actually done in her criminal career, gloating when she gets away with it yet again, just to make sane people angry.
    My opinion stands and isn’t going to be changed by some hypocrite telling me not to vent. But of course I am the only person here who ever gets angry when people lie right in their face. (Right)