Jessica Simpson’s mall hair & weight loss: tacky, hideous or not that bad?


Farty McMallHair was “awarded” the “Style Icon of the Year” Award by Us Weekly, you may remember. And last night, Us Weekly had a big event in which celebrities actually showed up and took home awards. Shocking. Anyway, this is Jessica on the red carpet. She looks… um…oh, dear. CB’s first comments were about Jessica’s hair. It’s pretty bad. You remember that Jessica and her BFF hair stylist Ken Paves broke up, right? Well, since Ken left Jessica, her hair was actually looking better for a while. And then this happened. Jess must have found a new hair person with Ken’s tacky-ass style. As for Jessica’s dress and her body… I can’t tell if the dress is slimming (how could it be…?) or if Jessica has just lost weight. Her body looks good, I think. I just wish she would stop slumping and lift up her head. She must be exhausting keeping all of that mall hair up.

When Jess got up to accept her award, she managed to fart out some shock:

“Style Icon of the Year, really? I’m not really that stylish, like to be honest with you. Like I wear my fiancé’s Yale hoodie and a pair of sweat shorts that have been cut off, and Uggs, and Hanky Pankies, little pair of panties, you know? I’m not really that stylish, but I do know how to make a woman look beautiful, and when I want to look great, I know how to make it happen.”

[Via MTV]

Jesus, did she really go up there and talk about her panties? Jessica, girl, you need to stop talking about burping and farting and picking your nose and your drawers while you’re in public. You are gross.




Photos courtesy of WENN.

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91 Responses to “Jessica Simpson’s mall hair & weight loss: tacky, hideous or not that bad?”

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  1. InVain says:

    I’m not trying to be mean here…
    but what weight loss? And the rest is just gross Jess…come on!

  2. Steph says:

    I just think that that dress screams all sorts of NO! Her weight loss should make her flaunt her best features. I think she looks great! Not with that outfit and hair

  3. PrettyTarheel says:

    I would love to be that evenly tanned.
    She can keep the hair, though.

  4. flounder says:

    The outfit is not that flattering, but I’m definitely feeling the “I just left the beach” look!

  5. the_blonde_one says:

    my internet has eaten my comment twice now but basically: much as I want to hate on her, her hair looks really nice all unstyled.

  6. Mshuffleupagus says:

    Hahaha, I love that second pic where you can see her trying to thumb away her back/ass (bass?) fat from showing up on the picture. Girl, that didn’t work in my prom pictures when I tried to choke my own waist in the photos like my torso owed me money, and it doesn’t work now.

  7. Nanea says:

    She did lose weight, but the dress is too tight. And the nail polish is wrong for that dress.

    I’m willing to forgive Jess though, just because of Scary Dad Joe.

  8. MonicaBee says:

    Did she get a new engagement ring or is that just some costume jewelry?

    Her e. ring is ruby, right…?

  9. Rhiley says:

    I can’t hate on Jess too much but she looks like Myrtle Beach Barbi here.

  10. TXCinderella says:

    I like the hair and the tan, but the dress makes her look thick. Large breasted women should not wear that type of neckline, I know because I am one of them.

  11. Jessie says:

    I like her hair which makes me worried about my own sense of style. Hate her dress though.

  12. Sumodo1 says:

    Myrtle Beach Barbie–HA! Love it! I hope Jess is brushing her teeth regularly now.

  13. Wendy City says:

    She looks like Victoria Gotti.

  14. dread pirate cuervo says:

    Hideous!!! The hair looks like it was “styled” by my old hairdresser. He would do styling for the Milan fashion weeks & show me pics where I would wonder “WTF wants their hair to look like that?” He was great with color, though. Anyhoo, Farty needs to do some yoga to tone up those arms. Her legs look good.

  15. OXA says:

    The hair is over processed and full of extensions, it makes her look more tacky than ever.

  16. Annaloo says:

    So… Tracy Anderson’s Method is a success story, then?

  17. Pix says:

    Style icon? ha ha. She needs to hire a real stylist.

  18. Gwen says:

    She looks horrible IMO. Mostly because of the styling which is a shame.

  19. Sloane Wyatt says:

    Jessica is a God honest natural beauty who looks great even without makeup. That being said, the loud zig zag type patterns make her look wider than she is and disguises a definite weight loss.

    This gal is smart enough to recognize her shortcomings and to hire a team of experts that built a billion dollar empire. Jess is comfortable with herself and knows who she is. She has an innate grace and is true to herself.

    I am a fan, but I do think she can do better in the romance department. Ms. Simpson would do well to mate with a man she can respect and who won’t be threatened by her.

  20. Stef says:

    I always do love her shoes. I buy JS shoes, and I have to admit, I love all of my JS shoes. But the dress is terrible. Personally, I think she should get a breast reduction. Even if she loses weight, her boobs have gotten so big that she will always look southern down home mama in the kitchen Paula Deen style heavy. I think if she went down even to a C, it would be easier for her to lose weight and to look lean. But that’s just me.

  21. Phillylady says:

    I think she is just honest, real, and speaks without pretense. I think she’s great, and am kinda disturbed by how much ppl obsess about her weight. she is, was, always has been slender and beautiful. And her speech was humble sweet and honest. Nothing but love for her.

  22. OtherChris says:

    I live in the south (and not in some hick town either, but near Duke and UNC-Chapel Hill) and I have to tell you that most guys around here find this look very hot. It’s a very pro-big hair and big books kind of place, the south.

  23. Phoenix says:

    I really love her hair. It looks so nice. As for the dress and shoes- fug. Maybe the shoes would be okay with something else but the dress just ruins them. I think she has lost a bit of weight recently. I think she’s a really beautiful woman and she does do very good shoes..

  24. Franny says:

    was it necessary to mention “my fiance’s yale hoodie”? we get are engaged, he went to yale….

  25. LindyLou says:

    I don’t know if its the hair or the dress (or both) but the upper half of her body looks like a linebacker. (And I like Jess!).

  26. Embee says:

    I like her and think she’s beautiful but I don’t like anything here except the shoes and clutch. It’s too tight, too short and too much pattern for such a little person. And while I like the beach hair look, this rendition (perhaps because of the rest of the ensemble) seems trashy, not natural.

  27. Siren6 says:

    Wrong shoes for the dress… which is odd coming from a Style Icon and shoe-line purveyor. Oh Jess!

  28. ZenB says:

    She’s starting to turn into Mariah – the girl who makes herself look fat with her weird clothing choices vs. her actual body fat.

  29. blc says:

    i am confused about the weight loss? What weight loss? She still looks nothing like she used to look during her Newlyweds or Daisy Dukes days. Just by looking at her face you can see how different she still looks. I will agree that this particular outfit is more flattering than her infamous mom jeans, but I don’t see any weight loss.

  30. the_blonde_one says:

    @stef: her brand shoes are quite wonderful. I got knee high leather boots not realizing they were by her and they’re super comfortable even though i have big calves and the heels are 3+ inches. very well made, good leather. I’m glad I accidentally bought them

  31. the original bellaluna says:

    Really? Love’s Baby Soft pink nails with that outfit? No.

    And I’ll never be able to look at Hanky Pankies again without thinking of her.

    Other than that, she’s relatively harmless. She over-shares, isn’t particularly intelligent, and seems naive.

  32. silken_floss says:

    She’s a hot shitty mess. No me gusta

  33. albeli says:

    I feel so bad for her. All anyone does is criticize her (not just on this site), and she’s not even fat (not that iit would make it OK if she was), she’s just not bony.

  34. Cheri says:

    Man, I saw these pics on another site and thought how completely gorgeous she looks, and others seemed to agree. Then I come here, and you all are managing to STILL tear the girl apart.

    I wish I looked that good. She looks great IMO.

  35. dread pirate cuervo says:

    Once upon a time, David Lee Roth had this same hair. The end.

  36. arock says:

    holy wet and wild, batman. 5-7-9 never looked so up to date. she looks like shes been hanging out in a food court near tulsa.

  37. t says:

    So true, pirate cuervo! And if his dad had offered enough cash like Joe Simpson did, David Lee Roth could have “won” Us Weekly’s fashion icon of 2011.

    I don’t see weight loss either…only linebacker bulk.

  38. Ron says:

    Apparently Jess has been to the Ross Dress for Less dress week!

  39. mommyesq says:

    her face is as wide and short as her neck—it’s very disturbing. like, they’re the same dimensions—it’s just not proportional.

  40. Dana M says:

    So what happened with her and Ken Paves? Why did they break up?

  41. dread pirate cuervo says:

    @t :)

    @arock 5-7-9 was my shit! In 1988. When I was 12.

  42. Kaye says:

    She is a beautiful young woman, but the more she “fixes herself up,” the worse she looks. Gilding the lily rarely has good results.

  43. CG says:

    Like everyone else, I don’t see any weight loss, except in her face. It def looks less round, but the rest of her body looks the same. She actually maybe looks like she’s gained a bit of weight in that second pic.

  44. arock says:

    @pirate cuervo- remember contempo casual?
    we had one at tysons that everyone 9-15 used to hangout at. its was awesome;)

  45. JustBe says:

    I don’t hate Jess. I make a sincere effort not to hate people that I’ve never met (politicians excluded), but I hate that she has been listed as a style icon. It doesn’t matter that her name is brandished on a clothing line that is popular. I’m sure that there are plenty of executives of clothing companies that would not be considered as style icons. It just seems that since her name has been associated with a clothing company, her personal style choices have decreased in quality.

    She says it here herself, she generally doesn’t care how she looks. Her PR/management team developed this deal with Us Mag for the increased publicity and to dupe the masses so that when people see her label, they’ll think, this might look ugly, but it was designed by an icon, so it must be fashionable!

    I just hate obvious manipulations of general public opinion. I know that it’s done all the time by numerous celebutards and pols, but it’s annoying and offensive nonetheless. If you’re clothing line is of quality and is stylish, you can just publicize the goods, not manipulate the public.

    The dress is Ok, but wrong for her body type. The hair is blah for the event and dress and the hair extensions add no value to the look (a la Britney Spears). It looks like her styling for the award show was ‘I just woke up and threw this dress on from under my bed and tossed my head around a few times and came right to the show’.

  46. gia says:

    That second shot is just horrible.

  47. Zelda says:

    That girl is girdled within an inch of her life. you can tell by the lines of the dress.
    And it still doesn’t fit right.

  48. t says:

    Access Hollywood has a video of the unfashionable “icon” giving an interview at the Us event while she appears to be drunk.

    Joe paid a lot for that award. The least she could have done was to show up sober to collect it.

  49. DGO says:

    Is she still on the outs with Paves? If so, that might explain the hair…

  50. Mando says:

    It looks like the dress is flattening her breasts. Girl, embrace what God gave you! She is in desperate need of a stylest that knows how to dress a woman who is not, and never will be, a flat chested size zero.

  51. Patricia says:

    She is a beautiful woman with a beautiful body – “weight” and all – but…..

    there are SO many ways she could compliment her beauty and this is definitely not it.

    I am a scientist and I could do much better job dressing her than this tacky load of crap.

    Style icon my arse (cheers to will and kate)

    GET A NEW STYLIST JESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  52. ladybert62 says:

    Oh where to begin – well, that dress is HORRID. But then so is the hair and I think that dress and hair make her look fat. And does she really have to talk – ever? Yes I am being shallow and catty – such is life. ha ha a

  53. Luna says:

    She looks like one of the real housewives of orange county.

  54. Karin says:

    Looks like a hooker, just off from work! Awful!

  55. lucy2 says:

    Not a good look. For years I’ve wished she’d find a good stylist.

  56. Amanda says:

    Don’t really see the weight loss? And that neckline is SO unflattering for her.

  57. Leece says:

    Oh dear – what has happened to class? She looks trashy and her hair looks like it hasn’t had a wash since 2010.

  58. whatyousay?! says:

    i think the problem is that she looks her age and she doesnt realize it yet

  59. TeeTee says:

    style icon huh??

    too bad she can’t get herself dressed appropriately, sad actually.

    she does not look like she has lost weight on this picture, just maybe put on some spanx and her mid section now looks strong and thick.

  60. guesty says:

    Imo…she looks better than she has in ages.

  61. Elizabeth says:

    @ OXA

    Her hair looks full of extensions. It might have worked except she is short and all that hair overwhelms her completely. But at least she’s not flashing the boobs, so give her points for that – but not the shoes.

  62. Ruffian9 says:

    This girl needs to learn how to dress herself. Long & lean is what you’re looking for Jess.

  63. Spring says:

    Hanky Panky thongs are *One Size*. If she put them on, they would cut her in half.

  64. Janna says:

    She’s definitely losing some weight. Her neck doesn’t look like a linebacker’s anymore and her face is slimmer, so she’s back to being much prettier again. But the dress on such a short, short-legged, big-busted woman doesn’t work. She would need to be her Daisy Duke’s thin to wear that.

  65. sluggo says:

    Agree with various commenters: Jess is Spanxed, perhaps DOUBLE Spanxed. I wear Spanx myself, they’re great, but sometimes those little folds and wrinkles on a tight-fitting dress give the game away.

    Nothing wrong with a little assistance where it’s needed, and she is a lovely girl, but I don’t see the tremendous weight loss that’s being claimed.

  66. Isa says:

    She has a girdle on.
    Not that that’s a bad thing, but I really don’t see any weight loss. Her face looks less bloated, yes. Like she calmed down on the booze, but everything else still looks the same.

    Has her neck always been that large?

    MonicaBe- Look closer and you will see that her ring has a ruby. It’s a three stone ring with two diamonds on the side if I’m not mistaken. However it has slid over and is only showing one stone.

  67. BRE says:

    After seeing this pic I really think her tweeted pic in leotard was photoshopped, her arms in those pictures look much skinnier. I think she might be wearing spanx in this pic. although her outfit and hair look terrible I still don’t think she is fat, perhaps a little thick right now.

  68. jasmine says:

    the hair really does need some help. but she finally has the body of a woman, she looks great!!!

  69. Az says:

    That poor girl is what the Brits call “built like a cook”.

  70. Liana says:

    I can’t hate on this girl. It would be like kicking a puppy.

  71. Isa says:

    She overdid it a little on the body shimmer too…

  72. Amanda G says:

    She looks good, but she doesn’t look like she’s lost weight?

  73. mojoman says:

    cant help but noticed her arms and neck are huge! it must suck (no pun intended) to wear girdle every time you have public appearance or show (I know how she felt because i had to wear one for an event and hated every minute of it).

  74. Good grief says:

    HOLY CRAP. Thanks to “t” (@51) for that clip of the interview with Messica. HOW EMBARRASSING. She looks like an absolute moron. And I don’t think it is that she is drunk, I just think she is truly that DUMB. She can’t count, for goodness sake! Look at the look on her assistant, who is clearly embarrassed with the crap she is spewing. How utterly ridiculous. How anyone can like this fool or want to emulate her is seriously beyond me.

  75. Newbie says:

    It just seems like ever since her divorce she’s been going downhill. That’s jmo, but whatever.

  76. poster 1 says:

    I’m sorry. but if this is what we deem to be fat nowadays, I will take this weight any day over my hrm.. I guess we will call it BLIMP (or is this now wrong also?) status.

    I’d rather look like this when I lose my weight over the deathsticks I see nowadays.

  77. Nikki says:

    I fail to see any weight loss here. She still looks thick and her face is fuller. In fact, she and I have almost identical body types- short, wide, thick, bigger boobs but still shapely legs…it sucks because even if I gain a little weight, there’s no place for it to go since I’m so short and it’s really obvious.

    I don’t think any of this is flattering- the hair, the fake tan, the dress…years ago she had great style, I don’t know what happened…her big hair just makes her look wider.

    And for those of you criticizing us for criticizing her: have you noticed this website is called “Celebitchy”? Well there ya go- we’re here to gossip and have fun, and part of that is talking smack about overpaid and overrated celebrities, so get over it!

  78. serena says:

    Not that bad. I’ve seen much worse on red carpets.
    If she just did something with her hair she would have been nice.
    She looks good.

  79. the original bellaluna says:

    I really think I could help her look a lot more stylish (and maybe make some cash) “coaching” her how to dress for her body. As a matter of fact, I should start offering classes in H-Wood right away! Naive, beleaguered, relatively-harmless Jess is not the only one out there who needs my help, STAT. ;)

    Lesson #1: “Why Oompa-Loompa Orange is NOT a Flattering Colour on ANYONE.”

  80. samab says:

    i can spot the weight loss in her face but I don’t know about the dress.It’s not really flattering,not that bad either.she looks happy.

  81. beth says:

    i think the problem is, the camera doesn’t do justice to voluptuous girls. in these pictures, as in most of jessica’s pictures, as in most of the pictures taken of my more curvaceous friends, you just see too much of everything bursting forth… too much hair, too much boobs, too much ass, too much curves everywhere… the reason she looks ‘tacky’ is because she’s got the face and body of a porn star, and and appalling dress sense, which just reinforces the way she looks…

    @”Jesus, did she really go up there and talk about her panties? Jessica, girl, you need to stop talking about burping and farting and picking your nose and your drawers while you’re in public. You are gross.”

    hehe, you have to admit, she talks like that kid sister from next door who tends to overshare from lack of an in-built censor system…

  82. Susan says:

    She looks trashy. I don’t understand how some of these “celebrities” with all of their wealth can continue to dress so poorly. Style icon? Riiiiight.

    Her hair is so-so, but that dress is too small. Get a bigger size that accommodates your body and have the damn thing tailored! Sheesh!

    I know my comments may seem harsh, but she’s supposed to look glamorous, not “back-alley”.

  83. Toe says:

    She looks good, healthy. Love the dress.

  84. KCT says:

    She is beautiful and I think she should flaunt her curves, but she needs some help with style and undergarments. She has a uniboob and the dress is too tight. I do think I saw that print at Ross last week. Way to save, Jess!

  85. thinkaboutit says:

    ROUGH! Looking at the second photo, I thought the dress had a bustle! Seriously!