Penelope Cruz’s bangs trauma destroys my soul: lovely or hideous?

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These are some photos from both the photo call and the press conference for Pirates of Caribbean 4: This One’s Just For The Money. Now, I think Penelope is a beautiful and talented woman, and she’s currently one of my favorite girls to watch. That being said, her bangs trauma is making me twitch. Sometimes, you and I will disagree about someone’s bangs and I don’t like to admit that I see your point, that the girl doesn’t look hideous with bangs, or that maybe the overall hairstyle is more flattering than I’ve originally said. This is not one of those times. Penelope is a gorgeous woman – and these bangs are a styling tragedy, completely. They are way too short, and they do strange things to her lovely face. She was aiming for Audrey Hepburn, and she did not succeed.

Oh, and the outfit is kind of fug (IMO) too. Snowflakes and a giant neck bow? In May in the South of France? Nope. Maybe in December in Berlin. But not today. And not with that giant bow/collar tragedy.

UPDATE: Whoops! Okay, this photo call took place in Russia, not Cannes! My bad. It’s still a bad look for May, though, even though it’s more excusable for Russia.

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Meanwhile, Johnny really is bringing the hot lately, right? Look, his clothes even fit! His hair is great, and he has his “dirty” look under control. Nice.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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44 Responses to “Penelope Cruz’s bangs trauma destroys my soul: lovely or hideous?”

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  1. brin says:

    Love the bangs, not crazy for the dress. Can’t wait for “Pirates”, it looks great!

  2. k says:

    It’s very mod to have strong short or long bangs. I don’t think she has the right personal style to really sell them. They’d probably look a lot better if she had her hair down, or if it were 1966.

  3. mln76 says:

    Penelope’s face is so f-ing gorgeous. I can deal with the bangs and the dress is grandma hideous but somehow she still manages to look perfect.

  4. Ell says:

    I think the bangs are cute, my first thought was she’s channelling Audrey Hepburn. The dress is a mess.

  5. dorothy says:

    That photo of Johnny smiling….OMG! That just made my day.

  6. danielle352 says:

    totally agree about the snowflake/bang trauma Kaiser. If the material wasn’t thick black velvet with the choke bow, but rather a summery chiffon, it would work, and with no bangs and long layers in the front, fabulous!

  7. Jackson says:

    Is it Winter again already? Why on earth would she wear that dress in mid-May? Or ever??? I’ll forgive the bangs since I think the choppy look is better than going straight across the forehead, a la the Little Dutch Boy. But that dress is too much.

  8. Robocop says:

    Bangs, no bangs — she’s simply stunning!!! Get over the bangs trauma. They’ll grow back in two weeks.

  9. Eve says:

    Johnny Depp is perfect. Has always been, will always be. If he gets fat, wrinkly, bald…he will still be perfect.

  10. the original bellaluna says:

    I’m not a fan of bangs (common knowledge) but Penny can carry them off. And that’s really saying something. (AND she gets to sleep with Javi!)

  11. Samihami says:

    Ugh. An unattractive woman made even less attractive with that horrible outfit and even worse hairstyle. I jusr don’t understand how anyone finds her appealing.

  12. Audrey says:

    Definitely channeling Audrey Hepburn. I like the bangs. I like the dress, if it were November or December. Doesn’t look right for May. As for Depp, his face looks puffy, has he gained weight?

  13. Nanea says:

    Hey, I get the snowflakes. It’s because they’re in front of a Russian poster for PotC!

    I don’t like her bangs, neither the bow, and I’ve seen better dresses on her.

  14. Kasey says:

    Kaiser, Except for the dress, we’re disagreeing about pretty much everything in this post.

    PEN-elope Cruz’s bangs are LOVELY! I’ve said it before and its worth saying again, her bangs are cute and Audrey Hepburn-esque. I’m not getting how you don’t see or appreciate it. I see no trauma here.

    JD “bringing the hot lately”? Absolutely NOT! He looks kinda meh to me (which is a definite improvement from ick!). I find it COMICAL that his clothes fitting (and presumably cleaned and “hole-free”), his hair being passable, his looking like he had a bath sometime in the last week and his “dirty” being under control is coming across as “hot” when that’s the normal, baseline expectation for most of the Western world!

    LOL! I don’t know if I’ll EVER get people’s obsession or even appreciation for his looks…….

  15. Crash2GO2 says:

    She looks gorgeous in bangs! She can pull it off, and looks so much like Audrey Hepburn as others have pointed out.

    Dear Kaiser, please get some therapy for your bangs trauma. 😉

  16. junipergreen says:

    The bangs are adorable. They frame her face nicely. She looks great. I love the dress, too.

    Kaiser, I think you just hate bangs. Which is fine, of course. But hers look great.

  17. sasa says:

    I like the fact that choppy bangs give her quirkiness (which suits her) but I would prefer them with a short messy haircut rather then with a severe bun. She would look much more youthful with a short style IMO.

  18. alma says:

    I usually love Penelope (even named my daughter Penelope) but that dress doesn’t go on her..

    and ohhh Johnny!!! **sigh** I <3 him!

  19. Quest says:

    They both look fabulous….I luv, love, luv Johnny, especially since he took the hair cut.

  20. S says:

    I still think she looks lovely! With both the bangs and the bow/dress hybrid. The collar suits her hair-up/fringe style, too. It flatters her jaw and gorgeous eyes.

  21. original kate says:

    kaiser, if you ever saw me with no bangs you would have forehead trauma. seriously, it is very high and bangs are necessary so i rock a louise brooks bob. as for penelope she looks adorable no matter what. she reminds me of a duck, but in a good way.

  22. Jen34 says:

    I’m in the minority, but I’ve never felt Penelope Cruz was all that pretty. I lived/studied in Spain for a few years, and the country is filled with beautiful girls. I never understood how she became the Spanish break out star. It should have been Victoria Abril. The only advantage Penelope has is that she isn’t short like a lot of the girls there.

    As for Johnny, he just gets better with age. I think a see a bit of grey in his stubble. I’d take him cleaned up or down and dirty.

  23. Dana M says:

    Penelope is stunning. Her face is gorgeous no matter what hairstyle she sports. I personally don’t like bangs, but she wears them well.

    Her mother is a hairstylist BTW. Perhaps the bangs are just a hair piece.

  24. DeeVine says:

    Enough with the “bangs trauma” posts. Bangs can be cute and stylish!

  25. Solveig says:

    What’s happened to Johnny’s eyes? They are so swallen that I would call that saggy skin under his eyes ‘suitcases’, not just bags. 😐
    Hate Penelope’s whole look.

  26. Bonfire Beach says:

    @Kaiser – I totally agree with your “bangs trauma” posts every time. I had bangs for 32 years. Never again!

    Pene now reminds me of Lea Michelle.

  27. the original bellaluna says:

    @ DeeVine – As I said, Penny can carry them off. Others cannot. “Bangs trauma” only applies to those who go too long (see numerous pix of ANYONE lately) and/or those who can’t carry off bangs. Penny can wear the hell out of those bangs!

    @ BonfireBeach – WOW! 32 Y.E.A.R.S? OMG, you brave, brave person, you. I had bangs, like once. A long, long time ago.

  28. Gabrielle says:

    Her dress is horrible, especially in May.
    I love Johnny no matter what. In fact, I love him even more when he looks borderline homeless.

  29. Kisha says:

    Penelope is gorgeous and a talented actress IMO. “Looks” don’t always equate in talent either.

    I use to have bangs for years and I shudder looking back because I have small forehead and it just enclosed my whole face. Bangs look good for someone with a large forehead.

    As for Johnny, he never looked better. I love his new look and he looks molto bene!

  30. WhiteNoise says:

    I have never seen a pic of Penny where she is less than stunning. And the above is no exception.

    Stunning!

    And Johnny looks great too.

  31. beth says:

    i have to have bangs cause there’s a bit of spot from where hairline meets forehead that’s follicle-arly damaged from years of pulling back my glasses to rest on my head. then i have an underactive thyroid which makes my hair fall off, and now it never grows past my shoulder length. pity really, i used to really love my long hair.

  32. lucy2 says:

    Don’t like the dress. I don’t mind bangs in general, but hers are a bit short and heavy.
    Johnny looks surprisingly cleaned up. I like him both ways, his appeal is definitely unconventional.
    P4 actually looks pretty good, I’m probably going to watch.

  33. kmginpa says:

    Why do you guys hate bangs so much? Is there anyone with bangs that you think looks good? This women could wear a paper sack and have bed head and she is still unbelievable – IMHO…

  34. HotPockets says:

    Because of this website, I always call bangs, “Bangs trauma.” I accidentally almost told my sister to quit with her bang trauma, but had to refrain. I don’t hate them on everyone, but most people look better without them.

    I think Rihanna is someone who does look better with them, but there is always an exception to the rule.

  35. Camille says:

    JD still looks puffy faced in these pics to me (did he have a big bender the night before?). I think it is the hair cut that is doing wonders for him. I don’t think he can work the long hair like he used to. Also I see some thinning/receding hair there. 🙁

    Penelope looks cute.

  36. Maritza says:

    I like the bangs on her but the dress is awful, velvet and snowflakes designs? it’s to Christmasy. Johnny Depp looks great, so sweet of him to carry photos of his kids in his necklace.

  37. ZenB says:

    Is she trying to look like Audrey?

  38. ZenB says:

    For the record, I love bangs if only because my forehead is the twin of Olivia Wilde’s. I guess it could be worse, my forehead could be the twin of Rhianna’s. I don’t think bangs would help then,

  39. Talita says:

    Johnny, just marry me

  40. lrm says:

    The thing about Johnny is his cool factor…..
    Like Uma Thurman…just plain cool.
    And, Johnny is a great actor; been doing his thing for a long time….and he does his own thing very well.
    He is who he is, doesn’t try to be anyone else. That is so rare anywhere these days, let along hollywood.
    this makes him extra cool.
    AND, we need someone bohemian-esque and artsy in the limelight. Not a poseur but someone who truly has that style and frame of mind. Some of us appreciate that contribution to the public eye.(:
    johnny’s awesome, even when not at his best or ageing…..And that’s how I feel about a couple of actresses, too, so it’s not a double standard.

  41. Newbie says:

    Not feeling this outfit on her. She’s such a beautiful woman all around, and she chose to put this on? M’kay.

  42. Luls says:

    I can’t forget the first time I saw her on screen; captain corellis mandolin. And I remember wondering why on earth, the lead male characters were fighting over her. I found her unattractive & having the most annoying voice/accent known to mankind.

    Those bangs just make her uglier!!

    However, I must give credit where credit is due; her body is beautiful! Just perfect! 🙂
    I guess nobody can have it all…

  43. sandy says:

    sorry, didn’t see this, i like it (the dress) and her, maybe not the season for it, she’s beautiful. oh, and i love her accent.

  44. couponty says:

    her bangs are only a hairpiece—the bennefit of being rich and having a hairsylist (she can have bangs one day and not the next) lucky!