Paris Hilton has been in London for the past few weeks. I’m sure most Londoners hoped she was just there promoting one of her many product; you know the usual perfume, handbags, large shoes, and cheap hair extensions. But it appears Hilton’s trip may be more sinister than we all thought. She has been hitting the town with an unusual ferocity – even for Paris – and putting down socialite roots… which mean partying a lot and going out to nice dinners.

Paris has startled/upset all of the United Kingdom with her announcement that she is planning on relocating to London permanently. A wave of deep, despondent depression has swept over the entire nation as a result.

Paris Hilton has decided to relocate from her natural Los Angeles habitat to make London her new home.

The hotel heiress may not have been successful in her attempts to attract the attentions of Princes William and Harry on a recent evening out in a swanky Mayfair nightclub, but the 27-year-old’s desire to live in the capital remains undimmed.

Hilton has been renting a £7,500-a-week home in Hampstead while filming a new show for MTV. She told Daily Mail columnist Richard Kay: ‘I love it here, I am going to move here permanently. ‘I have already been here for a month and am much, much happier here.’

The American socialite was among 800 couture-clad friends – made up of royals, aristocrats and society figures – who attended designer Nicky Haslam’s ancestral home in Roehampton for a sumptuous soirée in honour of his friend, art collector Janet de Botton.

And Hilton already has her eye on one particular man.

She said: ‘I love guys with English accents. I have met a really cute English guy, but it’s early days.’

[From the Daily Mail]

I love when the Daily Mail clearly makes up quotes and can’t figure out why the rest of us know it’s hogwash. Very few American’s would say, “It’s early days,” – and certainly not Paris Hilton. That’s a very charming – and very British – phrasing. Paris would have to insert about 12 “likes” and “omg” into a single sentence for it to be believable. And to be totally accurate there should be some mention of her twirling her hair and sucking on the ends of it like a 2-year-old.

On the off chance that quote is utterly fabricated crap, then congrats to London for turning Paris into a semi-decent human being so quickly. She’s all yours.

Here’s Paris Hilton at a store in Notting Hill and posing with a fan and her dog in London today. Images thanks to Bauer-Griffin.