Kellan Lutz will agree to make your photos more Kellan Lutz-y


Kellan Lutz is single. Kellan Lutz is on the prowl. Kellan Lutz knows that every lady wants a piece of Kellan Lutz. Kellan Lutz would be happy to oblige, in his Kellan Lutz-y way, because every single non-Kellan Lutz person out there deserves a piece of The Kellan Lutz. But Kellan Lutz frets that Kellan Lutz is not enough Man to satisfy every lady. So in the rare case that Kellan Lutz isn’t up for giving a lady a piece of Kellan Lutz, Kellan Lutz will pose for a photo with a non-Kellan Lutz. This is what Kellan Lutz offered to a group of ladies at a restaurant in New York. Kellan Lutz was all, “Hi, I’m Kellan Lutz, you ladies look you could use some Kellan Lutz in your lives.” And the ladies were like “OMG, Kellan Lutz, you’re so Kellan Lutz-y!” And then tragedy struck:

Kellan Lutz and five friends asked to move their table at CO-OP at The Hotel on Rivington nearer to a gaggle of gorgeous women Wednesday night. The raucous females were drinking champagne and eating oysters when newly single “Twilight” star Lutz leaned in to chat them up.

A spy said that when they asked for a photo, Lutz was happy to oblige — but was stunned to learn the women actually just wanted him to take a photo of their group, but not with him. Lutz’s rep said, “None of this is true.”

[From Page Six]

Kellan Lutz is sad to find out that non-Kellan Lutzs do not want Kellan Lutz in their photos. Kellan Lutz was preparing Kellan Lutz’s finest serial killer smile and eye twinkle, because Kellan Lutz KNOWS how to pose for a photo, thank you. But then Kellan Lutz was sad to realize that these drunk ladies didn’t even want Kellan Lutz’s photo. This makes Kellan Lutz sad. Kellan Lutz called Kellan Lutz’s rep and ordered him to deny this terrible Kellan Lutz story. And then Kellan Lutz went home and cried Kellan Lutz-y tears.



Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

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27 Responses to “Kellan Lutz will agree to make your photos more Kellan Lutz-y”

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  1. Blue says:

    Lmao i don’t know much about him. But I read these posts because they are hilarious. He looks ultra creepy though.

  2. Danziger says:

    OOOOOH OUCH, Kellan-brah. Touch of humility for Kellan Lutz-brah.

    I will forever remember Kellan-brah as the guy from Generation Kill who kept saying “brah” and being terrible creepy looking among the wonderfully articulate and sexy cast. Brah. My God -_-

  3. mia girl says:

    Poor Kellan Lutz… His Lutzy amazingness is lost on us all.

  4. Rhiley says:

    Who works out in black knee highs? No, not my grandmother. Kellan Lutz, that’s who.

  5. embertine says:

    I’m not even sure whether that was a scrolldown fug or a scrollup fug there. He needs to change his name to Kellan Lulz, for that is truly all he is good for.

  6. Bedge says:

    So …… Who and what is this guy? Seriously, who is he?

  7. Hollowdoll says:

    He has nice legs, for a girl.

  8. gee says:

    I love these posts. It brings out the crazy in Kellan Lutz. Love love love.

  9. marianne says:

    i do find these kellan lutz stories hilarious, but has he actually done something to deserve to be mocked like this? what has he done?

  10. yepp says:

    what the f#&k is up with his hair?

  11. Girafe99 says:

    Is his face too small for his head or is his head too small for his body?

  12. Sloane Wyatt says:

    You be nice to Carrot Tops’ little Brother!

  13. Quest says:

    @Girafe99: I think it is his head… it is way to big for his brain.

  14. girlwithapearl says:

    oh, how you make me laugh.
    What a turd.

  15. Girafe99 says:

    @Quest lol, that could very well be true, there is some weird out of proportion business going on this guy, might just be his brain rattling around in there

  16. dahlia1947 says:

    Could be true or not. Only he knows. I hope its not though.

  17. curegirl0421 says:

    Hahaha… my 15 year old loves him because he’s HAWT. I mock her ceaselessly for it, to much pouting. It amuses me, though, and I will tell her this story post haste.

  18. curegirl0421 says:

    /dramatictongueclucksigheyeroll Oh Celebitchy, why you always moderating me? How have I offended thee? /dramatictongueclucksigheyeroll

  19. LunaT says:

    @Girafe99–I know, right? Something isn’t balanced w/his body. Kind of like Ryan Reynolds. Something is too big or too small.

    Yes, what is up w/his hair? I’m not joking when I wonder if he’s using Sun In.

  20. Katija says:

    I do not get the appeal of this guy. He looks like any dude you could see smoking outside of a club on any given Friday night – not a movie star. In fact, he’s so ordinary that I’m not sure I would even recognize him in real life.

  21. Turtle Dove says:

    Love these posts. Oh, Kaiser, this put a smile on my face after a super pissy morning.

  22. Dominique says:

    The Kellan Lutz in third person thing is getting really stale. lol

  23. Jeebus says:

    there were rumors around the twilight set that kellan lutz is in fact gay and would hit on robert pattinson discreetly.

  24. NaomiCampbellsPhone says:

    This non-Kellan Lutz is no fan of Kellan Lutz, but I find the Kellan Lutz posts hilarious XD
    Besides his serial killer face, I can’t stop thinking of Lutz on 30 Rock so that’s minus 100 hot points