Linnocent sentenced to 30 days in jail, with 270 more days if she screws up

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Linnocent is going back to jail! But it’s a mixed bag of a sentence. Part of me thinks the Cracken got off easy. Part of me thinks the judge is giving her enough rope to hang herself, so to speak. The sentence is basically as follows: 30 days in jail, non-negotiable, as soon as Linnocent turns herself over within the next week; from there, the judge set a timetable for Linnocent to complete 12 full days at the morgue a month, plus four therapy sessions a month, and if LL doesn’t complete either each month, this “probation” is automatically revoked, a warrant goes out for LL’s arrest, and she will have to immediately start a 270-day jail sentence. So, 300 days in jail, with only 30 days in jail guaranteed. Here are some random thoughts:

*LL was wearing vintage, with Giuseppe Zanotti shoes. And no bra? It didn’t look like her girls were contained. Saggy.

*She apparently told people that she was “sick” with “food poisoning from some bad shrimp”. She was barfing all night or something. Sure… “shrimp”. Must be a new drug I haven’t heard of.

*She doesn’t have to do any more community service hours at any place other than the County Morgue.

*Linnocent copped to violating her probation by not attending therapy and by getting kicked out of the Women’s Center.

*TMZ’s source inside the Sheriff’s Dept. says “Lindsay will serve 20% of the 30 days — 6 days in jail.” – That’s from the 30 day sentence. Ugh.

*No tweeting, no press conferences. Those were both just judicial “suggestions”.

*Linnocent was keeping tighter control over her spastic, crackface today. No bulging eyes, no kabuki makeup, just a lot of pouting, lip-biting and fake-eyelash batting.

*I LOVED that the Women’s Center said that they might take LL back, but the judge was like, “No, I don’t want to put them through that.” I also loved that another women’s center was all “That crackhead is a bad influence on these women.” Seriously, she’s a HORRIBLE influence.

*If she wants to leave the state for “work” she has to prove to her new probation officer (her old one quit her crack ass) that she really will be “working”. What, like provide receipts for the beejs?

Blah, blah… so, yeah, I’m kind of disappointed, especially because I don’t think LL will even end up in jail for a week. But! I know my Cracken. She’ll f–k up again. She’ll go all crackie and blow off some hours and then she’ll go to jail.

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Photos courtesy of Fame, screen caps from the live feed.

 

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143 Responses to “Linnocent sentenced to 30 days in jail, with 270 more days if she screws up”

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  1. Lisa says:

    God she’s so entitled. I’m definitely convinced there’s someone behind all of this. Some important political figure is helping her get away with all her shenanigans. Face it she’s never gonna do more than a month in jail.

  2. Bitchbelying says:

    Bwahahahahahaha!!!!! Bitch got served!

  3. Rita says:

    I assume if some guy gives her a receipt for a “beej”, it will say something like “entertainment services”. Otherwise, the guy is asking for more trouble than just brown crackie stains on his dong.

  4. Orange Cone says:

    “…What, like provide receipts for the beejs?”

    Oh. No. You. Didnt!! LMFAO

    High Five, Kaiser

  5. Hautie says:

    If she had any sense at all, Lohan would turn herself in tonight and get it over with.

  6. dorothy says:

    She won’t be able to handle the timeline for the community service. She’ll be in jail before it’s over. No worries here. It’s Lohan we’re talking about.

  7. jermsmom says:

    OMG – i bet the first thing she did when she got in the limo was take out that temporary set of teeth!!! Girl could not even close her mouth over those horse teeth!!!

  8. Innocent says:

    She looks great and the Judge was very fair.
    It is her choice what happens now either way she will be free eventually.
    Shawn is the best lawyer in LA.

  9. Kloops says:

    She looks fairly sober here and she obviously had her makeup professionally applied. Not bad. 6 days in the clink is kind of interesting though. Not long enough to get clean but long enough to go through withdrawals. I predict she goes on a bender when released

  10. Leanne says:

    I thought that the judge said the 30 days in jail was non-negotiable – that she wasn’t supposed to considered eligible for any kind of in-house arrest, electronic monitor, or anything like that. Since the actual sentence was 300 days, I was hoping that the 30 day sentence was the very minimum she’d have to serve. I think she needs to serve the entire 30 days – something needs to wake this chick up before she completely ruins her life.

  11. Pia says:

    I’m honestly surprised that she got any jail time at all, so I’m happy.

    Also, those are some major grandma-tits. I’m not saying mine would look any better but damn, you know a girl really hates bras when she won’t even wear one with an outfit that hides it. No “the straps might show” excuse here!

  12. phlyfiremama says:

    Oh, well, yeah, that should really teach her a lesson this time…

  13. Lily says:

    According to TMZ the Sheriffs dept. says she’ll only have to serve about 6 days…ug. I am so sick of her.

  14. Ramona Q says:

    She will mess up and go to prison for 270 days – this isn’t rock bottom yet – she still thinks she’s invincible.

  15. sheri says:

    She should have taken jail. 60 days in and done. This way she will do some morgue, a few psyche session, and screw up. Then she gets ALL the jail time back.

    53, 8 hr shifts at morgue and 16 sessions. She CAN’T do it. I believe she is an addict and she won’t be able to stay clean enough for that schedule.

  16. *Roxy* says:

    No more crying in court ha?

  17. Smokey says:

    I said it on the other thread but here goes again, my favorite part was “if she finishes earlier than March 29…”

    BWAA HAAAAA HAAAA!!!!

    Earlier? Ain’t no way Crakenho is going to finish without further incidents let alone finish it all earlier than required.

  18. wunder says:

    6 days jail + morgue + psychotherapy = future warrant for Crackie’s arrest.

    It’s pretty much a done deal that Crackerella will back in jail for those 270-I mean 27-days. . .

  19. RocketMerry says:

    Gosh, I really hoped she’d face real consequences this time.
    Well, here’s to hoping she’ll either learn and become a normal human being or fuck up big time and go to jail for a year or so. I won’t accept anything less, Linnocent.

  20. bessicus says:

    Ahhh!! The Cracken! Why did that take so long??

  21. Hellen says:

    Oh, Innocent, please send me some of whatever the hell you’re smoking, cuz I am having a bad day and my puffy lips are not closing over my new fake teeth, and I miss my hair extensions and I am mad at my pantyhose because I couldn’t figure out how to put them on this morning so I just said Fuck it, and my stupid doodyhead parole officer dumped me for an arsonist, and Shawn is all in my face about stuff like money, and I ate bad shrimp last night which is why I forgot to put on any underwear this morning, but that is totally okay because my idol Marilyn never wore any and she was still classy and….where was I? Oh yeah, send me some of what you’re smoking. Sending you love and light – LL

  22. Ron says:

    At least she looked appropiate today and finally realized she wasn’t shooting Basic Instinct 7.

  23. blc says:

    she looks so god awful with that trashy blonde hair, i can’t figure out for the life of me why she keeps it that horrendous color. Back in Mean Girls days when she looked fresh and natural and had that gorgeous red hair she was beautiful. And now she is pretty nasty looking. Can’t anyone close to her tell her to go back to her natural hair color??

  24. Obvious says:

    While part of me wishes she had gotten more than this I’m kind of excited the Cracken insists upon prolonging the entertainment for us.

    I will say this…if I ever get into trouble I want Shawn as my lawyer. That woman is some kind of genius crackie god based on what Cracken has been able to get away with.

  25. Bess says:

    One of the talking heads on HLN said that the judge should have ordered drug and alcohol testing as a term of probation. They also said, instead of going to the county jail and getting out early b/c of overcrowding, the judge should sentence the Crackie to a lock-down rehab facility where she will be forced to do the drug and psychological counseling.

    This judge isn’t helping Lohan at all.

  26. newtsgal says:

    The beeejs
    LMFAO!!!!
    Kaiser, double cracktini for you!!
    Well, I feel pretty safe in saying…We now know where the Playboy money went, she paid someone off!!!

  27. Madisyn says:

    I’m absolutely disgusted she skated. AGAIN!

    Anyhoodle, here are your winners ladies:

    WTF – 3/YES/16 Total
    Lucky Charm – 3/Yes/16 Wkly
    Aqua – 3/Yes/16 Wkly
    bellaluna – 3/HOPEFULLY YES/16 Wkly

    Even though Dawning Red’s bet was 3/No/16 Wkly, if were up to me alone, I’d post Dawning the winner. 30 days = about 6 days of jail. This is bull shit!

    As we didn’t get the hearing we were promised, its still conjecture what the judge originally said regarding 16 Total/Weekly, so I’m giving the winning cone to all of the above.

    There you have it, another “IF YOU FVCK UP AGAIN” slap on the wrist, which I’ve heard more times than I have fingers and toes.

    For the life of me, I don’t know why the judge didn’t hold her little freckled hand in hers and whisper her sentence to her. SICK, DISGUSTING, LOHAN!

  28. constance says:

    Ugh, she’ll post legal reason for needing all her medications to stay constantly high the whole week he gets “wrongly imprisoned.”

    Her reputation is be what it has been- crackhead mammal. A shame.

  29. kay says:

    I loved her dress and shows. That hair though, yikes.

    I think it’s pretty darn pathetic that the judge had to give her such structure.

  30. Jess says:

    Her profile looks different. She’s not closing her mouth. I think @jermsmom is on to something.

  31. Samigirl says:

    Even when (I refuse to say ‘if’ because she WILL mess up) she gets the 270 day sentence, the 20% rule will still apply, right? Because of overpopulation, etc. So, 54 days there, for a total of 60 days in jail. I really look forward to her getting that 270 day sentence.

  32. the original bellaluna says:

    Oh, you know she’ll screw up. This is LINNOCENT we’re talking about here! The majority of her DNA consists of screw up! (And the “prison minister” there on behalf of the jailed fame-whore that is MiLo…I just…I can’t.)

    I’d like to see her little crack-out ass thrown in GP for a year. Or in a lock-down psyche facility.

    Kaiser, “receipts for the beeejs” – golden! :D

  33. Rio says:

    I know she’s going for the Marilyn look, but for whatever reason I think she looks more like Allen Ginsberg.

    Christ, woman, HIKE UP THOSE TITTIES. They’re going to be dragging on the ground and I’d imagine a stiletto on the nip isn’t that comfy.

  34. Jayna says:

    No bra to court. Disgusting.

  35. Quest says:

    Why are they so easy on Linnocent, another common Joe would have had the book thrown at them already.

    No wonder she takes these sentences as a joke. I am waiting patiently till she screws up again

  36. Novaraen says:

    She will never learn…her sentence is bullsh*t.

    Now we just have to wait and watch her eff up and get that 270 days. That would certainly straighten her smug ass out. There is no way she will comply with all those guidelines. She’s above the law….obviously. *eyeroll*

  37. Memphis says:

    6 DAYS!? Anyone else would be hard pressed not to get years for the shit she has pulled.

    I hope she gets Shawshanked in jail. >;(

    But there’s still hope.. we all know Crackie can’t follow orders for too long!

  38. gutfan says:

    Trying to look like Marilyn much?

  39. the original bellaluna says:

    SOMEONE involved in this BS is getting beeeejs or money or drugs or any combination thereof.

  40. KJ says:

    I can’t tell if this sentence is a gift or like Kaiser pointed out, just enough rope for LL to hang herself. She DOES need structure. Obviously when its “you have 1 year to complete this many hours,” she prioritizes her hooking, and drugging and famewhoring. It seems like when she’s under the gun, like “complete 2 full days of service at the morgue before this hearing or the shit REALLY will hit the fan,” she’s way more likely to do it. Which, let’s be honest here, isn’t a sign of good judgment. She’ll fuck up again, and she’ll have more excuses. This isn’t going to be the last straw that sends Lindsay back into being a Real Actress. She’s been a professional train-wreck and tabloid fodder for most of her adult career, and she doesn’t know how to be anything else. Her acting days are done unless she does some serious habit changing. As much as I hate Dr Drew sometimes, he was totally right when he said someone like La Lohan will only “get it” when she loses an arm or something super catastrophic happens. This isn’t her rock bottom. She’s gotten this low before and keeps up the same entitled behavior.

    I hope our commenter Innocent is ready for a new year of cracked out excuses to defend, because this chick just doesn’t get it. It’s gonna take a lot more than 6 days in jail and structured community service for her to.

  41. girlwithapearl says:

    lol girl thinks she’s Marilyn Monroe

  42. Devon says:

    She’ll mess it up again. I worked out the first month and she has 22 “days” of things to do in 6 weeks. A minimum of 6 days in jail, 12 days at the morgue and 4 appts. I doubt she’ll schedule the therapy appts on the same days as the CS because 8 hours of CS is a lot for a Crackie! If she only did 28 or so hours of CS in 5 months, then she’s screwed.

  43. danielle says:

    Good for the judge. Does she think it looks good that her boobs are nearly at her waist?!?

  44. OhMyMy says:

    Well I guess she won’t be able to go back to Europe to do any photoshoots for Philip Plein and those poor, poor Russian diplomats won’t get a chance to meet her.

    I don’t understand why she thinks her time is so more important than her therapist’s is. How many times did she cancel/reschedule her appointments? You or I would not get away with that without getting billed for them or dropped entirely. I guess her story about “phoning in” her therapy appts during NYFW and the International Call Girl tour can now officially be called BS.

  45. Diane says:

    Yeah, like the judge said, she’s giving the keys to the jail to the defendant.
    Sickening.

  46. fabgrrl says:

    If it wasn’t for that piss-yellow hair color, I would say she looks great! I want that dress!

  47. Madisyn says:

    belle

    Why did you leave? Wha happened?

    For those of you trying to be positive with ‘but she’ll fvck up again, this is Blohan were talkin about’. Thats all well and good, but we’ve been promised ‘jail’, ‘no mercy’, blah, blah, blah, for how long now?

    I let myself down by actually believing this was going to be a cracktastic hearing. We got nothing. No probation officer, no DWC personnel, no therapist, and no full accounting of her crimes, which the judge instructed the prosecution to ‘tally up’. I’m beyond dissappointed.

    This cvnt didn’t want all her infractions read aloud in court because if she had, I’d be willing to bet, the judge would not given her 6 measly days in jail.

    So for all of you saying ‘be patient’. I will but be forewarned, nothing will happen then either.

  48. fabchick says:

    I like that dress, her boobs like hella saggy though. I think the judge is giving her rope. I would be surprised if she follows through with all the requirements.

  49. Decemberist15 says:

    Quick question: will she have to take out her extenstions for jail? Also, PLEASE tell me she’s gonna be in the general population! I forsee a blanket party in her future…

  50. atorontogal says:

    She looks so smug in that 5th pic…looking at the ADA’s like huh bitches you can’t touch me!!!

  51. Innocent says:

    @Decemberist15

    NO she will not be in the general population.

  52. ZenB!tch says:

    If she thinks she is Marilyn Monroe who I have also heard drug and hooker rumors about, then she has 11 years before she is shot by the mob or some random Kennedy.

  53. Ruby Red Lips says:

    There is no way Linnocent will be able to follow all those rules until March, she is bound to f*ck up and will land in the slammer…

    I’m just curious, if she does land in the slammer for her ’270′ days…what happens afterwards…is that it? Is she free then?

    & I have to add, that of course she looked better today, she is playing the system after all…

  54. Venefica Delirium says:

    Hey guys,

    Remember last time when she was going to serve 90 days in prison, and ended up there for less than two weeks?

    Yeah, no. She isn’t going anywhere. Wishful thinking she’ll be sentenced as deserved.

    Also, she looks good. For her. That really isn’t much of an achievement when you usually look like a Bret Michaels porn double.

  55. JoanCrawfordHangers says:

    WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT… SHE REALLY HAS ONLY A FEW MORE YEARS TO SKATE BY AS A TROUBLED “STARLET.” TIME IS TICKING. DO YOU REALLY THINK THE PUBLIC WILL HAVE ANY INTEREST WHATSOEVER WHEN THIS B.S. IS GOING ON AT AGE 30?

  56. Zigggy says:

    She looks nice (for her) but damn girl, get a good bra!!

  57. grabbyhands says:

    It would be enough rope to hang herself if the California judicial system counted for anything. What will happen is that she probably will violate again, and for all of the judge’s tough talk, Lohan isn’t going to get much more jail time than she has right now.

  58. gee says:

    I’ve come to realize she’ll never really do any time. This is a sad day.

    Ps, I can’t wait until her next court appearance or f-up. I love commenting on this crap with you ladies!

  59. Smokey says:

    @ 51. Madisyn – that’s exactly the reason Crakenho waived her right to a hearing and admitted that she violated the terms of her probation, so the public wouldn’t be privy to her litany of crack shenanigans.

    At some point she should have just pulled a Michelle Rodriquez and done the 20% of her sentence and be done with it. She’s never going to be able to keep up with a monthly schedule. She couldn’t do it when she was relatively well and shooting movies and she can’t now.

    @ 47. danielle, I didn’t really notice until lots of comments mentioned it and then I was shocked when I looked again. She’s 26 right? Bet Playboy doesn’t have any naked pictures of her standing up (or employs an army of photoshoppers).

  60. wunder says:

    The warrant for her arrest is practically signed.

    Watch and see!

  61. the original bellaluna says:

    ZenBitch – If this crackroach makes it to 36, I will be FLOORED. There is NO POSSIBLE WAY she can carry on the way she has been and not wind up dead. Maybe at the hands of a john; maybe at the wheel of a car while drunken-driving; maybe by OD. At this point, I think she’s hopeless.

    Mad, had to do the barf-a-palooza laundry and try to get little one to drink some electrolites.

  62. Decemberist15 says:

    @ Innocent, how do you know she won’t be in gen. pop?

  63. MissyA says:

    Wow. She looks great. Really, really nice – even if the dumb hooker forgot to put a bra on for court.

    I really love how beautiful and pulled together she looks today – it really exemplifies how fucking superficial this bitch really is.

    *She’s in an industry where her natural beauty isn’t the status quo – so instead of standing out and shining, she bleaches her hair and stains her skin to look like everyone else.

    *We laugh because her teeth are jacked (from hardcore drug use), so she gets veneers.

    *We howl at how awesomely inappropriate her hair/makeup is for court, so next week she opts for a subdued “Marilyn Incarnate” ensemble.

    This dumb c*nt has the wherewithal to pay attention, she just pays attention to all the wrong things. Children do that. Children will mistake a token gesture as a complete concept. My room is “clean” if the toys are all off the floor, but shoved under my bed.

    I’d have a lot more compassion for her retarded state of cognitive development if she was 20-21. But she’s 25 going on 45. At this point, she’s just a fucking asshole.

    Grow up, Lindsay.

  64. Madisyn says:

    RETRACTION, sorry *hangs head in shame*

    TMZ and her probation report is saying she completed FOUR days of CS. Oppsie.

    Here are the winners, AGAIN:

    Original Tiffany – 4/Yes/16 Wkly
    Newtsgal – 4/Yes/16 Wkly
    yt – 4/Yes/16 Wkly
    Dana – 4/Yes/16 Wkly
    Danielle – 4/hell yeah/16 Wkly

    I’ll say it again, if it were up to me alone, I’d award Bess – 4/No/16 Wkly. 6 days for what this bitch has done is no justice.

    Sorry belle, WTF, Lucky Charm, and Aqua.

    But consolation ‘cone’ hats and many, many, many cracktini’s to all.

    Smokey

    Your damn straight. NUTSHELL. If the prosecution had read every infraction, the hearing would have gone on till Friday. Quite frankly, thats what I was looking forward to most! And the twit is 25 going on a HARD 40.

    MissyA

    Here, here. But your preachin to the choir in me girl.

  65. Krista says:

    She has to stop wearing the dark blush. It looks horrible… even for a crackhead.

  66. Jordi says:

    She definitely tried to get her hair to look like Marilyn’s without cutting it.

  67. Decemberist15 says:

    @ Jordi, she might have to cut it. I’m pretty sure they don’t allow extensions in jail…

  68. jermsmom says:

    it was stated that she would not be put in genpop for “security” reasons – she would have her own cell. I think it was nice of them to keep her away from the genpop…fewer sexually transmitted disease that way…

  69. Mary jones says:

    Per Tmz she wont serve anytime just get booked and released bc of overcrowding. Lets hope this isn’t true.

  70. jules says:

    well, her eyes aren’t as glossy as the last hearing, but, they ARE glossy, again- fake lashes and professional make up covered them up well, why don’t they drug test all defendants before court appearances?

  71. Samigirl says:

    @Decemberist15 and Jordi- Extensions are generally not allowed in jail, because they could get ripped out during fights, and also could be used to choke people. Was she allowed to keep them last time she was in jail? Anyone know?

  72. Bess says:

    Samigirl,

    Yes, Blohan was allowed to keep the extensions in the last time she was in jail for 13 days in 2010.

  73. Madisyn says:

    TMZ is stating she will be ‘booked and released’ due to inmates sentenced to 90 days or less, the walk in and walk out. Confirmed by the Sheriffs Dept. I think I’m gonna be sick. Literally.

    I don’t care what anyone says, when I get to the vodka vat, I’m awarding Bess with the winning ‘cone’.

    Bess – 4/NO/16 Wkly

    Congratulations Bess. Anyone disagree with me?

  74. DavidBowie says:

    It looks like she’s still trying to get used to her new teef. LOL

  75. sapphire says:

    @Mary Jones-I am not at all sure-the judge said non-negotiable. Remember Paris Hilton got her skanky butt hauled back on court order when she had an early release?
    @Madisyn-are you for a contest on how many months before a screw-up? I’d say two at the outside.
    I really loved the judge’s reaction to the therapist’s letters.

  76. bluhare says:

    She’s not even going in overnight. Unbelievable.

  77. Bess says:

    I don’t think there’s any doubt the Cracken will violate again. There is just no way she will be able to navigate all of those appointments and requirements.

    The questions what’s going to happen when she does violate??? An abbreviated jail sentence will do her no good. She can’t follow basic instructions for CS. Why can’t they sentence her to a lock-down mental health / rehab facility???

    Also, since she’s apparently going to walk in and walk out of jail when she does show up for the “30 day” sentence, she should just show up and do it now. Then she has another week to party her ass off before she needs to get crackin’ on the CS and shrink appoinments.

  78. lucy2 says:

    This mess up/few days in jail/probation/mess up cycle is just going to keep repeating itself until, to be blunt, she drops dead.

  79. Aquarius74 says:

    She changed her teeth, hair and make-up for that very meeting with the judge.

    She thinks she’s playing in a movie. Or maybe everyone is an actor when it comes to judge miss Lohan ?

  80. Samigirl says:

    @bess-Thanks, but it looks like the point is moot, now.

  81. OhMyMy says:

    You know I keep thinking back to when that model Amber Smith was on Celebrity Rehab awhile back and how ashamed she was when she told Dr. Drew how someone used her Vogue cover to shop her to potential johns.

    I think that may happen with LL’s Playboy issue. That may be a more likely result the way she’s going than a rebirth of her acting career.

  82. dorothy says:

    Fredick’s of Hollywood should donate bra’s to this woman. I would have said Victoria’s Secret, but that brand wouldn’t have anything to do with her.

  83. Madisyn says:

    sapphire

    The problem with starting a new betting thread is regarless if her fvck up happens next week, next month, or next year, NOTHING WILL HAPPEN at the end of the day. Thats why I gave Bess the win. Do you disagree?

    Yeah, we’ll get a new bet up but give me a day to calm down. I swear if I didn’t have something to do tomorrow, I’d be on my 4th cracktini. For real!

  84. wunder says:

    Crackzilla’s gonna be in Playboy’s special ‘Morgue Edition’???

  85. JaneWonderfalls says:

    Why does this bitch only get thirty days?

  86. wtf says:

    so yah in and out of jail when she reports . won’t even have to change clothes according to TMZ sources. So this was all about nothing..again???? GOD

  87. The Original Mia says:

    She needs to wear a bra. Those puppies are going to be hanging down to her belly button by the time she hits 30.

  88. Smokey says:

    @ Madisyn – I think you should do a new betting thread. (Sorry I missed the last one.) I think that Judge Sautner is really at the end of her rope with Crakenho and if she messes up again she will definitely not get another chance but will go directly to jail for the remainder of her sentence. It was pretty clear in the hearing that she was taking pains to ensure that the Crakenho understood she was on her last “get out of jail free” card.

    The way she’s looking lately I expect to see death notice before a prison term, though.

  89. e.non says:

    so, which one of those lawyers/security dudes tailing her in the photos do you think she’s blowing…

    no bra and 10-inch heels for court. such class.

  90. MorticiansDoItDeader says:

    She should use these crack benders to her advantage and work 12 days straight at the morgue. By the looks of her, she only sleeps a few hours a month anyway.

    *waving @all you lovely ladies*

    @madisyn, I think I’d be afraid to disagree with you ; P

    @constance, “Ugh, she’ll post legal reason for needing all her medications to stay constantly high the whole week he gets “wrongly imprisoned.”

    ITA. She’ll use the adderall to maintain while in prison, that way she doesn’t withdraw. Then, when she’s out, it’s back to the crack/meth/ sea jasper cocktail.

  91. newtsgal says:

    Ayyyyyye the cracken has escaped yet again!
    On a better note…..OMFG! I can’t believe I’m one of the winners…..Congrats to everybody!
    Now I have to go outside and rake dog poop out of my backyard…..LOL!

  92. ladybert62 says:

    She keeps getting rewarded (that is what I call this disgusting lenient sentence) for her bad behavior.

    I had high hopes that this judge would put crackie’s nose to the grindstone – nope!!

    She is not going to change – not now- not later. See that smug look on her face – you can bet she is going to go home and PARTY!

  93. okeydokey says:

    so Sheriff Baca is a liar. He claimed she would serve exactly what the judge sentenced her to. And of course, she’s not. Sick of this joke.

  94. Firecracker says:

    Seriously, in and out and no time?? Not even the 6 days? Going to TMZ now to read article. This is unbelievable. My blood pressure is rising.

  95. Jessica says:

    The best part of this whole thing is how she keeps getting the sweatest deals but the whole time she’s bitching about how she’s being picked on because she’s so famous.

  96. MorticiansDoItDeader says:

    That’s *if* she even steps foot in jail. Like some of you are saying, she may never step foot in jail due to overcrowding :(

    @firecracker, “Seriously, in and out and no time?? Not even the 6 days? Going to TMZ now to read article. This is unbelievable. My blood pressure is rising.”

    Urge to kill rising, rising, rising. Haha

  97. Praise St. Angie! says:

    agree with those who say this is not her rock bottom.

    she’ll serve the 30/6 days, or whatever it winds up being.

    after that point, she has a very short window to complete what she needs to by a certain date. I feel pretty confident in saying, like others, that she’ll likely NOT complete the terms that the judge laid out.

    which then means, there is no hearing or any possible plea bargaining. there’s simply a warrant out for her arrest and she serves those 270 days.

    I think this IS just enough rope to hang herself, and the judge made that very clear in how she described it as “putting the keys in the convict’s hands” or whatever it was. it was “here’s some rope, let’s see if you hang yourself or use it to pull yourself up.”

  98. Veronica says:

    It looks to be like she actually got her lips doneagain, this time with someone who managed to avoid the protruding duck lips but over filled to the point of can’t move them so well. I think teeth are the same as a couple days ago with her “zoom”

  99. NaomiCampbellsPhone says:

    Has anyone rocked on up to her court appearances with a big sign reading “Release the Cracken”? Because I would love whoever did that forever and ever.

  100. Firecracker says:

    Mortician,

    L O L.

    So basically there’s no punishment in Cali. You can do whatever you want and get away with it.

  101. ShanKat says:

    I think the LASD source was framing the overcrowding/reduced jail time thing on the generous side…nonviolent offenders, including parole violations, serve 10% of their sentence, not 20. I’ll bet her “time served,” meaning the amount of time she logs being processed, will count as 1 day. She could be out in 4 hours.

  102. Madisyn says:

    Firecracker

    Let me put it to you this way. If the twit would have turned herself into the jail after the hearing, she be home NOW, firing up her crack pipe as we type.

    And when she fvcks up next month or the next, same charade, different day.

  103. jane16 says:

    I can’t for the life of me understand why young women, like Lindsay or Elizabetta Canalis, think it looks sexy to go braless when you have big saggy boobs. It looks ridiculous. And men don’t think it makes a woman attractive either. Trust me, I worked at a major LA Country Club for years. They might think its worth an ogle and a laugh, but then they have all kinda nasty names for that look. Lindsay has no pride, no taste, no class.

  104. jane16 says:

    I still can’t figure out why she wasn’t punished for carjacking a SUV with two guys in it and driving like a lunatic all over the West Side. She also got away with clipping a baby stroller.

  105. boo says:

    Ok, those boobs are almost at waist level, this just looks so uncomfortable. Having boobs bouncing around from side to side and up and down is just disgusting. I don’t get her logic. So, she got up this morning and thought “I’m going to court this morning, so I’m going to wear my very business like blue dress, but I’m not going to wear a bra and have my boobs hang to my waist and jiggle everywhere, yeah that’s a good idea”. This woman has no sense especially any common sense, I bet she wasn’t wearing any underwear either, after all, didn’t Marilyn do the same, so Lilo has to do it too. Maybe she’ll overdose soon and we can all go on with our lives without having to read about this loser and her entitled BS.

  106. Sara says:

    Ugh. She really doesn’t know how to dress for court. Wear. a. bra. No one wants to see her saggy tits under that conservative dress. So gross.

  107. Diane says:

    Congratulations Bessie! And all other winners ! And Madisyn you did great!

  108. BabyCakes says:

    I hate when someone calls the way a woman’s breasts hang normally “saggy”. We are too conditioned to think that unnatural beach balls bolted onto a woman’s chest is what’s normal.. then we mock that as well. The irony. It’s not like they sag to her knees or anything jeez.

  109. Feebee says:

    How over it does her lawyer look?

    Still hear talking heads commenting that LL getting treated worse than average joe. I think the time for that argument has passed. If the average joe had told the court by his actions to go fuck itself he’d be in real trouble not this hand holding LL’s getting.

    What’s all this county jail crap. California has a three strikes rule doesnt it? It should be extended… LL’s three (four, five, nine) strikes should up the ante to State Prison not County Jail.

  110. Becky says:

    TMZ is now reporting that Judge Sautner delayed her jail sentence by a week *because* the Playboy shoot had to be completed this week – Shawn Holley said it would be a breach of the $1MIL contract for LiLo ladybits. Gross.

  111. photo jojo says:

    OMG – wear a bra. Other than that, I love that dress, I’d totally wear it. Blah blah Cracken is cracked out.. blah blah… agreed.

  112. newtsgal says:

    How funny is it that the judge is giving her till Nov. 9 to turn herself in cuz, she has a reshoot for Playboy….didn’t Dina say she did the shoot and it was over?……oh, my bad, just realized that Playboy would have to reshoot cuz of her new TEEFS!
    Now I hear she only has to walk in do some paperwork (give a few handjobs to the staff) and walk out…..I am seriously going to finish typin’ and then I am going to bang my head against the wall.

  113. midnightmoon says:

    A. Your tax dollahs at work.
    B. Crackho-the latest in addictive drugs for the minds of America’s finest gossiphounds.
    C. She looks amazing. The lighting in the courthouse is exquisite. When she dies, these will be the ones they’ll always print, like Diana’s Mario Testino shoot. Never better or more tragic-JUST THE WAY SHE WANTS IT!

  114. Dawning Red says:

    In breaking news, Lyndzie Lohan was just admitted to Venice Beach Hospital after a suicide attempt.

    Depressed over realizing how futile her life had become, she wanted to shoot herself in the heart and be done with it. But, Lyndzies lack of education prevented her from knowing exactly where her heart is. She then called up her dealer who told her it was just under her left breast.

    So, she shot her kneecap off.

  115. Madisyn says:

    Newtsgal

    Can I join you for a ‘head banging against the wall’ session? And NOT the good kind with some hard rock playin and a cracktail in hand either.

    You know, I just did the crackmath. Even if the judge HADN’T given her a week to show her cooch at Playboy, theres NO WAY she could have done 12 days at the morgue by Dec. 14th with 30 days in jail. Thats not mentioning IF she did her 4 PSYCHOtherapy sessions AFTER morgue duty. The timeline is IMPOSSIBLE. Where I’m going with this is this starstruck wimpy azz judge KNEW Blohan would be booked in and out within hours.

    Oh well, I guess we just have to wait till Dec. 14th. OK, here’s the new bet: Part 1, days completed at the morgue. No number restrictions on days. If you want to guess more than 12, be my guest, at your own peril. Part 2, attendance for her PSYCHOtherapy sessions. Simple enough? Who wants to go first? Below is the absolute bare (yes, I went there) minimum required but you can guess any numbers you want.

    12 Days Morgue/4 PSYCHOtherapy Sessions

  116. Hugh Mungus says:

    Look at her, she looks happy in a few of those pics above. Doesn’t she realize that everyone is there for one purpose? She’s a fucking trainwreck and that’s all. She thinks she’s loved by her ‘fans’ but everyone is laughing at her. I’ll bet $$$$$$$ that she’ll have a problem with her new probation officer and claim that she’s ‘out to get her’…per usual.

  117. KJ says:

    @BabyCakes – a 26 y/o (especially one who’s rumored to have had breast implants, a charge I don’t necessarily buy but lets go with it) should not have the “natural sag” of a 35 y/o with kids. Lindsay’s boobs are far too young (whether they’re 26 or younger) to have that kind of hang to them. Yes, we shouldn’t think that bolted on boobs sitting right under the collar bone is natural, but at 26? Those aren’t the boobs of someone who wears a bra on the daily. And given the number of Nipply Lohan pap shots, I would reckon she goes without more than with.

  118. Amanda says:

    People think she is getting some kind of special treatment because she is famous. That is completely untrue. It’s because she has money. Well, she has a good lawyer (not sure how she is paying her tho). My brother was a drug attic, arrested 10 times at least until he passed away over a drug overdose at the age of 24. But he always got out of it because good lawyers. He went to jail twice (out of like 10 arrests). Broke probation all the time but the jails are so crowed. Facing possible jail/ jail time hasn’t seemed to change her so something is going to have to make her realize what she is doing is killing her career and making her family miserable, hopefully before she overdoses.

  119. SolitaryAngel says:

    I am beyond pissed. We’re all gonna become alcoholics waiting for this stupid bitch to get any real jail time! She’s an indestructible crackroach! I can’t anymore. I quit. I have to save myself and my poor liver. 

  120. C.Lynn says:

    So basically, this judge did nothing. There will be no actual punishment for the probation violation. The end result is no jail time and continuing her community service and therapy as she was before. This judge just wasted everyone’s time and taxpayer money.

    Lindsay admitted in court today that she violated her probation. The sentence of 300 days in jail for the violation, with 270 days being held in the air as a threat, is a damn joke.

    The judge should have sentenced Lindsay to the 300 days in jail effective today for the probation violation. With overcrowding and all the other technicalities that would result in about 40-45 real days in jail. And that’s it, case closed, everyone go home. Lindsay does her brief stint in county and moves on with her pathetic life.

    Enough with this revolving door of community service and minutes in jail. Waste of time. Waste of money.

  121. therock says:

    What up trolls! :) This day didn’t do down nearly like I thought it would. Maybe her owing po to violating went in her favor?

    I gotti say, I love her new teeth!

  122. Madisyn says:

    BRAVO, C.Lynn

    And if 45 (approximate) days of jail doesn’t work and she picks up a ‘new’ case, depending if its drug and alcohol related, put her in a tough, bare bones, salt of the earth LOCK DOWN rehab and behavior modification facility. If she gets out after a year and does it again, another 18 months in said facility again. I guarantee THAT will knock some sense into her. Maybe with being locked down till she almost 30 MIGHT get her back on track? I don’t know.

  123. feyish says:

    Look at her, can’t you just hear her thought process? No? Well it goes something like this: “channelMarilynchannalMarilynchannalMarilynchannelMarilynchannelMarilyn”

  124. Blue says:

    This is why she stays in Cali, anywhere else she would have gone to jail for real. The judge knows about the less than 90 days in and out business due to overcrowding, so why not just give her the full sentence and stop acting like she’s tough. No wonder the bitch looked so smug

  125. Marianne says:

    And now she’ll have a new booking photo for her growing collection! Yay!

  126. yt says:

    I seriously doubt LL will be able to work at the morgue 12 days a month. That’s two full weeks plus one day each month. She might make it through one month, but not two. She will run out of time to complete them, won’t show up one day, will start a fight with someone, or try to skip out early. She might even get caught using her coke or meth stash.

    She has other possibilities. She likes to throw temper tantrums in clubs, but they’re getting tired of her. It would be easy for someone to call the cops, especially if she attacks someone. She’s driving now, and she’s dumb enough to get another DUI. With her driving skills, she should always hire a driver to avoid traffic accidents and DUI’s. Her sticky fingers might be what gets her if she cannot resist trying again. She thinks she is clever, but more people are watching her now.

    There is no way she will finish early or last through March, and she only has to slip once.

  127. Nancypie says:

    I just watched a news clip of Lilo leaving the courtroom, and i immediately came to this site to see if you mentioned the lack of a bra. Swinging around lime she was doing jumping jacks, wow.

  128. CitizenKim says:

    She almost gets an outfit right but had to keep the twins out to play.

    Are stripper heels really necessary for court? I won’t even mention that they’re also white after labor day and totally clash w/her hair.

    She must have a really rose colored mirror.

  129. Dawning Red says:

    @Madisyn:

    You know how I take a back seat to nobody when it comes to mocking Lady MacMeth, alias evil super-villainess Cum-Soaked Cocaine-Filled Has-Been Girl, but I’m going to say 14 days in the morgue and 4 days of Psych.

    Wait, hear me out! I know it sounds ridiculous, but here’s why I think she’s going to do extra time: 1 – She’s heard what Paris Hilton did by doing extra time herself, and wants to show her up, and 2 – Given how Kim Karda$hian is being viewed in the news, Lyndzie wants to appear better than her and her family. Basic damage control.

    Now when it comes to the second month, I’m not so sure. I figure she’ll screw it up by then. Third month? Definitely, she’s going to feel invincible at that point. In fact, perhaps you might want to start another bet on if/when she violates probation in some way with some screw-up? I’m gonna say December 27.

  130. shoeaddict says:

    Please Madisyn, don’t hurt your head because, unlike Crackie, you actually use yours. Look on the bright side….If Crackie was sentenced to substantial “real” jail time today, she would be on easy street. The most she could have recieved was approx. 2.5 mos. of actual real time(based on an 18 mo. sentence). She could spend her days in jail perfecting “her fingers in mouth pose” gearing up for her gig as a Playboy playmate. Doesn’t sound like much of a punishment to me. Instead she will be scrubbing out toilets and mopping up blood and guts under the watchful eye of Coroner Winter, who will not put up with any of her sh*t. That, to me, is far worse and more physically demanding. And just because Crackie hasn’t been caged, doesn’t mean her freedom hasn’t been affected. No more “BJ” jobs out of the USA-just local d*ck. That has to cut into her profit margin. Also, she has to show up 12 times per month EARLY in the morning and stay the entire day WITHOUT creating any drama. All of this is moot, anyway, because she’s a f*ckup and will eventually f*ck up. And when that happens, a 270 day sentence will be imposed that she and Holley have already agreed to. There won’t be any haggling-she will go to “real” jail for almost 2 mos. So for a 2 week reduction of actual time served, America will be treated to the most entertaining reality show out there. No scripts, just pure Crackie doing what she does best-F*CKING UP. If this were me, I would just do the time and finally be free of this drama. But I’ve got my frozen crack-o-jitas and fish tacos ready- can I come over and enjoy the show? Oh by the way, I’m ready to place my bet-but remember, she will be immediately violated the moment she f*cks up-so technically we won’t have to wait until her monthly progress report. I think she will violate sometime after her Dec. 14th hearing but before her Jan. 17th one. Please put me down for 19/6. I can’t see Crackie making it through Christmas.

  131. xgirlfriend says:

    out in hours? at least she won’t give anyone a std by them performing a full body cavity search on her

  132. Madisyn says:

    Dawning Red

    See my new avatar, thats what I think of Blohan completing her CS/PS by March 29th. (PS-PSYCHOtherapy Sessions, judge said it first) I’ll debate with ya.

    “Wait, hear me out! I know it sounds ridiculous, but here’s why I think she’s going to do extra time: 1 – She’s heard what Paris Hilton did by doing extra time herself, and wants to show her up, and 2 – Given how Kim Karda$hian is being viewed in the news, Lyndzie wants to appear better than her and her family. Basic damage control”.

    Point 1. Although I agree in principal that she would love to show up Parasite, problem is, in the execution. I don’t think she has it in her to work 12 8 hr. shifts + she couldn’t even bother to stay at the therapists for a measly 45 min. 2. KK is a whole other breed. Greedy, narcissistic, self-centered, yes but thats where (most) of the comparisons end. Your comparing apples and oranges here. As low as the Kuntra$$ians are, they pale in comparison to the Lohans. At least Mama Pimp Kris’s kids are not on drugs, rarely drink, are not living on separate coasts from their minor children, and are not in court and in jail. (That goes for BOTH father and daughter) You’re probably right in the fact she may, MAY finish this first month but to go above and beyond and do extra? Not on your life.

    I told you at the after-court party to ease up in the vodka vat, that shit is 80 proof and if your not used to it like Belle, Ruby Red, myself and a few others, you were gonna get wasted.

    Joking aside, you can bet what you want and I’ll put you down as instructed but I’m going to pull a Belle and wait and see how things go and as we close in on Dec. 14th, thats when I’ll place my wager.

    So here it is folks, the first guesstimate of the bet.

    Days of CS/PSYCHOtherapy Sessions

    DawningRed – 14/4

    You know the 4 PS are almost a given, too easy. I like your idea (if it fails, its on you, like Firecracker with the 3rd part of the last bet) of when her next screw up will be. But you and I need to work on this and be specific. What qualifies as a screw up? Is it a vop, an arrest, a missed CS, what? That may have too many variables. We need to keep it simple and CLEAR, trust me on that. Ideas?

    (Keep in mind that my “Bitch, Please” avatar is NOT directed at whoever I’m posting to. It merely sums up my disgust that is all things ‘Lohan’.)

  133. Kimbob says:

    Kaiser, thanks for your candid assessment and delivering such in bullet points. I agree 100%. I also liked how you said you know “your Cracken,” and how she’ll eff it all up…so, so right. Truer words have not been written/spoken.

  134. the original bellaluna says:

    Mad, is the “head banging against the wall” session due to my suggestion that not swatting a toddler on the bum is said equivalent?

    Because it IS.

    I just can’t with her. If I hear “And this is your LAST warning” one more time, I think I’ll vom. (And NOT from the tummy-sicks!)

    Once again, it’s the judge “I won’t tolerate your shit” in fact tolerating said shit.

    Grow some huevos, some ovaries, or whatever and THROW THE FRAGGLE-ROCKIN’ BOOK AT THIS CRACK HO!

  135. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Madisyn, I’ll go for 16 days CS & 4 psychotherapy sessions.

    Totally agree Dawning Red, Linnocent will start over doing it but that will gradually slip & she’ll violate by the 3rd month if not b4

    Dont think anything inc threat of jail is going to help change Linnocent, her Dr sounds like he has been getting bj’s as he is writing letters saying she has changed (bs!)

    Linnocent will basically, blow, f*ck and manipulate her way out of this until she OD’s or her organs fail…sad but looking pretty inevitable

  136. logan says:

    This whole cracked out family and the Kards just totally pi$$ me off. Crack-a-lack flopped into and out of court like she was in a movie. Of course she knew ahead of time that once again she would get to skate. And the Kards keep saying the didnt profit from the marriage, well no one believes that one
    Here’s hoping they both go the way of Kate plus 8.

  137. MacScore says:

    @ Dawning Red 118 – TOOO funny! Thanks for injecting some humour into this travesty.

    Damn, now I’m late for work.