When you’re nursing a baby in the first few months you sometimes sit around at home with your boobs hanging out. It’s not like you’re trying to flash anyone, it’s just that you’re so exhausted most of the time that it ends up happening and you just don’t care. When my son was a few months old I remember my ex sister-in-law giving me the side eye for nursing him. At one point my breast was hanging out afterwards and I just didn’t notice at all. I wasn’t embarrassed about it, either. I mean, I was with family and it was an honest mistake. When I was just with my husband I would regularly sit around like that for convenience sake.
Anyway Tori Spelling’s husband Dean McDermott tweeted a photo of their son Liam, four and a half, with a little sticker on his forehead and the caption “doughhead.” McDermott uploaded it to Twitter before he noticed that Tori’s giant nursing tatas were totally visible in the background. (To see an uncensored photo, click on the header image on this page. McDermott has since deleted the photo, but he hasn’t posted an explanation.) That totally cracked me up! Tori just had her third kid, daughter Hattie Margaret, on October 10th. Here’s more about this:
Look before you tweet! Dean McDermott is learning the hard way today (November 17) after he posted a photo which shows wife Tori Spelling’s breasts!
In what looks to be an innocent pic, Dean snapped a shot of their son Liam goofing off in their home, but if you look closely, there are a pair of exposed knockers in the background.
One can only assume they belong to the former “Beverly Hills 90210” star and that the Rated R picture was an accident.
No word from Dean on Twitter yet today, but we assume he’ll have some apologizing to do.
[From Celebrity-Gossip.net via ONTD]
Well Tori and Dean have their new show coming out in a couple weeks and this gets them a lot of publicity for it. I saw an interview with them on E! a couple days ago (below) and I didn’t cover it, because they usually bug me and I find Tori’s personality grating. I think this was an honest mistake, though, and that Dean probably caught hell at home for it. I’ve seen about two episodes of their wedding planning show and that guy is quiet most of the time while Tori takes charge and does most of the talking. I’m surprised they’ve lasted as long as they have, given how they got their start and how they seem to interact. It’s working for them, though, and Dean told E! that he enjoys working with his wife, but that he understands that it’s not for everyone.
Tori has been blogging a lot. She recently penned a cheesy love letter to Dean on his 45th birthday, and she also wrote about how her son doesn’t like her changing in front of him. I know a lot of people are going to be like “Tori let her son see her boobs!” but I don’t see the big deal. Those things serve a purpose.
US has photos of Tori with her new baby daughter.
Her son seems a little young to be getting zits.
Hope all the kids look like their dad…
I think it was an accident too.. I think if they were doing it purposefully, she would have chose a more flattering angle. Oh well, Tori! I think we’ve talked about this woman’s weird chest long enough! =0)
I nursed both my girls and never walked around without my nursing bra on with nursing pads inside because your breasts leak. I am also always decently dressed in front of them because I couldn’t stand when my mom’s breasts were exposed. It embarrassed me as a child and I hated it.
This is funny, cute, and sweet, and actually makes me like them more. It makes them seem like a real family.
He’s the biggest boob in the house.
I’ve always thought that Tori and Dean are very sweet together and very real. I’m sure the photo was an honest mistake. My husband was once showing a friend of his a photo on his phone and accidentally showed him a picture of my mostly naked ass while he was scrolling though trying to find the correct photo(no I didn’t pose, I was laying on the couch or something and my butt was hanging out, and he took the pic for giggles). Anyway, was embarrassing, and I’m sure she was embarrassed, too, but no biggie.
When you are nursing, you simply DON’T CARE who sees what. Nowadays, I usually have clothes on in front of my kids, but if they walk in my room while I’m changing or when I’m getting out of the shower, I just continue what I am doing. I don’t scramble for a towel, or try to cover up quickly.
I have three kids and nursed them all. I always joke that my oldest son is going to see “real” (ie non nursing) boobs someday and be all “THATS what they are supposed to look like?!”. lol I agree, when nursing my boobs were always out. I was to exahusted to care!
If he got breastfed he already saw them before.
Its funny, but no big deal.
I have read some comments on other sites about this and they crack me up. If those comments I read are anything to go by some Americans are extremely up tight when it comes to nudity.
Poor girl- she might not care that her family sees her boobs,but I’m sure she didn’t want the whole world to see.
When one of my friends gave birth,her husband sent out a photo of her with the baby in the hospital, and her boob was totally hanging out. I felt bad for her – it was very much a “shortly after giving birth” pic, b/c she looked exhausted, and then to have the nip slip in the pic too – egads!
Those two are the poster children for “over-sharers”-but I’m not offended by her boobs being out-and I certainly had this happen when I had newborns. I find her publishing the private love letter to Dean way more disgusting.
Good for her for nursing! Nursing boobies are innocent, natural and beautiful. It is the pervs who are the problem, not the proud Daddy’s accidental photo.
If people weren’t so fixated on s@xulaizing womens bodies there’d be a lot more happy well fed babies in the world. Visible nursing breasts should be everywhere a baby is!
@Lisa: Americans ARE really uptight about nudity (but completely fine with violence–don’t get it). Everything is so sexualized that I think we forget that those body parts serve a function first and foremost. My husband and in-laws are European and when my daughter was born I was constantly struggling to be subtle about nursing and keep everything covered and they were like, “Who cares if you’re nursing? Kid’s gotta eat and they’re just boobs.”
In my own house the boobs are out if I’m nursing–especially during the first several weeks when they’re sore and the baby is eating non-stop. If anyone doesn’t like it they can look the other way–baby’s comfort comes first. After nursing two kids for 1yr each boobs become so unsexy and just a food source to me.
Oh come on now. She has said with previous children she formula fed (something about low milk production due to breast surgery). Total publicity stunt.
totally agree. Everything Tori does is for publicity. She’s still annoying all these years after she was on 90210.
I don’t even see how this is news. Boobs…big deal!
Nice-looking kids. He must have strong genes.
Who cares about boobage but seriously those are some big nipples!
McDermott is creepy. He hasn’t worked since they got married, other than that reality crap. He and Eddie Cibrian are two spawns from the same pool.
Completely innocent mistake on Dean’s part. As a mother, no one wants a picture of their child floating around the internet with your boobs in the background.
If you miss one spot wiping down a kid and they go to bed, it’s common they’ll get a minizit come morning. It goes away just as quick as it comes so no biggie.
I nursed my kids but NEVER let my boobs hang out for all to see. It’s very inappropriate…imo. Little kids don’t need to see them…and the excuse that you’re too tired to put them away is ridiculous.
I have three kids, two bio, one adopted and I nursed all three with my boobs out all over the place. I tandem nursed the older two for a year which means I had one on each side. My oldest nursed for three years. Tatas are for nursing primarily so who cares if anyone sees them.
My cousin nurses under a blanket and only in restrooms or behind closed doors. I find that tiring and unnecessary. But then, my parents were nudist hippie types so maybe it’s in my blood?
Okay, I’m German and my 8-year-old regularly sees me naked. And that’s what it was like in my family as well. I come out of the shower and go to my beedroom to get dressed. No big deal, he doesn’t care.
He’s going to pay dearly for that mistake.
novarean – I’m of the mindset that the natural human form is never inappropriate. It’s the behavior of the individual that makes things inappropriate.
Little kids DO need to see boobs. Removing the shame means the child can grow up comfortable with themselves and not freak out when they do see a pair of tits.
i really enjoy her and the show…like them as a couple too..seem real, even with the controversial start…hope they dont cheat on each other…she is cute…
I think it’s funny and Tori will too one day.
i have no problem with young children seeing their mothers breasts. however, this guy is a TOTAL famewhore and i don’t think it was accidental at all.
he was married before with one child and another adopted child on the way when he left his wife for tori. now, it’s all about his new family. disgusting.
If my husband did this I would be livid!
I’m not sure that it really counts, since Tori’s tatas are 99% silicone.
I cannot stand this couple and still remember how they first got involved while married to other people. Tori was practically still a newly-wed, but at least she and her husband of a year didn’t have any kids.
In contrast, Dean and his first wife had a young son (their biological child) and had recently adopted a baby girl (due to fertility issues). The boy is the only child Dean still keeps in contact with.
After one of my kids was born, I was showing my sister and her husband pictures of the baby on my phone. Afterwards realized one of the pics had my vag with the umbilical cord hanging out in the background– ooops!
Meh on her family seeing them – it looks like she’s in bed. I mean, you can still see her C-section bandage!
But man, would I be FURIOUS if Hubs put pix of me nursing our little man out there. (My girls were HUGE when I was nursing.)
Personally, I don’t care if you have your boobs hanging out all over the place in your own home. But I really find it uncomfortable to see women breast feeding all over the place. Yes, it’s a natural thing, and all, but I personally don’t want to see your tatas. Go into a bathroom or cover up with a blanket.
My parents were relatively modest people, and I never freaked out when I first saw breasts on tv, or a penis. I’ve also never been uncomfortable about my own breasts, even though they were always on the large side. I don’t think covering yourself up is going to stunt your children emotionally any more than walking around naked when they’re growing up. 8 years old is one thing, but what about when he starts getting older? To me it just seems creepy. I just personally wouldn’t do it. But to each their own.
Do your ears hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?…
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?
Or don’t gawk Erinn. Why should women need to hide in a bathroom? Unless you’re really staring you can’t see very much anyway. Being uncomfortable is your problem, not theirs.
I love Tori and Dean as a couple, which is unusual for me as I’m usually indifferent about couples. Their children are bright and adorable, so I’m very happy they had another one. I can’t wait to see the next season of their show.
As for the boobies in the Twitpic situation, well, I don’t think It’s a big deal. There is a newborn, so it’s not like she has them out for no reason. She knows that Liam does not like her changing in front of him, so she is paying attention to how her children feel about it. Not a big deal, not inappropriate, and I can see how Dean missed them being in the frame when he took the picture; heck it took me awhile to see them lol.
@Rose
Yeah, I’m definitely not gawking. And I didn’t say they had to “go hide” in a bathroom. I did mention the blanket thing- most women have blankets with them for their babies anyway. They could cover up at least a LITTLE. It depends on the place. When you’re stuck in a waiting room, or some other place like that, and a woman whips out her breast across from you, it takes you off guard, and you end up seeing more than you wanted. I’m not saying all women are just letting it all hang out, but there are some that do. If a woman is at least making an attempt to cover up, then breast feed all you want. Or do like a lot of other women do, and pump your breast milk and bring it with you. You really phrased this as an attack to me, and I’m not the only one who said it wasn’t appropriate. I even said to each their own… I was at least more respectful of other people’s opinions than you were to mine.
Maybe it’s because you are completely insulting to nursing mothers. When someone suggests a mom nurse in the BATHROOM of a public place, that’s it for me. Would YOU eat in a public restroom with shit smell and people peeing and germs everywhere??? Also, some people do no give bottles or have new babies that can’t use a bottle yet. Obviously, you have not nursed a child. I bet you change your mind someday:)
They are boobs, that’s how you feed kids. Big deal. I nursed 2 kids for 2 years each, I could nurse in the mall with a nappy over baby and no one ever even knew or in a sling.
They are just breasts-I personally think we should have topless beaches in the US, it’s great in Europe. And it is NO big deal.
I hope when I have a child I change my mind. I probably will 😀
I think its pretty apparent just how much they love each other. I think theyre pretty cool for a celebrity family!
Regarding the @Rose @Erinn exchange,
As a mom who breastfed two little ones for a year each I got pretty irritated with the whole cover up or hide mentality that a lot of people had. As though I were doing something inappropriate or shameful! My son was born 5 weeks early and I took it as a badge of honor that I was diligently breastfeeding him every 45 minutes for the first 4 months of his life. SHAME on anyone who thinks that is not beautiful. The last thing on earth I want was for some stranger to see my nursing breasts but I also wasn’t willing to hide out like convict for 2 years of my life. To suggests that a mother should impede her nursing relationship with her baby by pumping and bringing along a bottle just so that you (a bystander) are not bothered by the overwhelming task of AVERTING YOUR EYES is ridiculous. They’re breasts just doing what breasts do!
I guess I have a family (the whole family) with a very European (or Bohemian) attitude about nudity: my sisters and I nursed all of our kids, in front of family members (parents, husbands, & kids included) at various family dinners, functions, and holidays.
Since my mom nursed, and had a very open policy about her nudity, none of us think twice about it. I was always very open about nudity in my home as well. To us, it’s just no big deal.
(You don’t even know what it’s like to see my oldest son burst out of his room in all his glory singing “Naked Man!”)
Anodyne – Preach! I’ve nursed all three of mine, and though I tried to be discreet and use a blanket, they weren’t having it. They’d pull that sucker off and toss it, even at a very early age.
Men sexualised breasts a long time ago (since they don’t have them) and no one has gotten beyond it since. The SOLE PURPOSE OF BREASTS IS TO FEED THE BABY.
@Erinn, It is shameful for you to think that women should cover up when breastfeeding – it is a natural part of life!!! Geez, they are boobs for goodness sake – get a grip!!!!
@Erinn: Please don’t take this as an attack but just an honest question. But do you eat your meals under a hot blanket in the dark? Or in a bathroom? (Yuck) I’m not one of the women who just whip their entire breast out in a busy public place to BF–I try to be as discreet as possible. I wear 2 shirts and an easily accessible bra so top, bottom, and everything in between is covered. But, my daughter HATES having a blanket covering her entire face while she’s eating–and who can blame her really? And, BFing isn’t just about giving milk. It’s also about snuggling and comforting. Sometimes that’s the only way to calm down a crying infant. Would you rather a screaming baby or the mom to shut them up with a boob?
Like I said, I try to be discreet but I don’t think nursing moms should have to be on home arrest because other people think BFing is dirty. That’s absolutely ridiculous. That’s what breasts are for, for Pete’s sake.
BTW, Tori Spelling has the biggest aureolas I have ever seen! I’m almost insecure about my own boobs. 🙂
Whoever said it was a publicity stunt (can’t see poster name), I agree.
She has implants, and since she didn’t breastfeed her first 2, it’s unlikely she’s breastfeeding now.
Probably doing this for the Minivan Majority to make her seem “real”. As in “OMG, Stars are just like us!”
Urg!
cosign. I hope they’re good parents to their children. There’s just nothing newsworthy about it. PR-generated nonsense.
This is such a hot topic always! Women have breasts to feed babies..people who are prude in regards to nursing should COVER THEMSELVES UP with a blanket!! I am OVER people(women especially-not doing feminism any favors ladies)who take issue with public breastfeeding. I can name things that I see people doing Every DAY in public that is SO MUCH WORSE..lemme see..zit popping, nose picking, de-lousing (not kidding on this!), ass digging/wedgie picking (possibly guilty of wedgie picking myself), excessive green discharge profusely running from nose INTO MOUTH, excessive skanky makeout and or fondling sessions, teeth flossing, extreme hungry butt pants and or camel toe…
@Gigi, “My cousin nurses under a blanket and only in restrooms or behind closed doors.”
I’m currently nursing my second son and my husband is ALWAYS bitching about me nursing in public (while covered). He’s constantly telling me to feed the baby in the restroom. I tell him “I’m not feeding the baby in the dirty restroom until you eat your meals there.”
@Erinn, re: feeding my baby in the restroom. The quote above applies to you as well as my husband. Also, you said ” do like a lot of other women do, and pump your breast milk and bring it with you.” This isn’t an option for all women. Neither of my boys will take a bottle or pacifier. They scream, gag etc., until they feel the comfort of a breast. Furthermore, some women choose to nurse because they can’t afford to formula feed. So what makes you think they can afford a breast pump and all the accessories that go along with it?
@the original Bella, love you!
@Anodyne, well said! Thank you.
Yay! Bellaluna and Morticians! Common sense wins out in the end, huh? When I have to see men whip it out to pee or PDA beyond belief or hell, a Rhinna video, it’s a heck of a lot more gross than the beauty of breastfeeding!
I had gorgeous portraits done with my first while nursing and gave it to my hubby for his first Father’s day. They hang proudly in the dining room.
belle, Morticians
I’ve been looking for you both. READ YOU F*CKING EMAILS!
Now, is it time for a cracktini?
As for Tori and Dean, meh, don’t care.
@scarlet vixen, just went back and read your comment. Great minds… 🙂
@madisyn, hey love! Just got my email and sent you a reply 🙂
Been there, nursed 3 children, the 1st one you are careful to stay covered, the second one is harder cause the first see nothing wrong with sharing with the new baby and perswadomg her that she could have the other one was a problem for a while (to this day I think that is were their sibling rivalary came from….then by the third, you will whip it out just about anywhere to get that baby feed and the other two will try to stay as close as possible …No nasty nakie boobie thoughts and feeling…We never tried to hide our body’s if they walk ing a caught you nuke just gentle turn away and finished getting dressed and LOL here I will get screams for some but I can’t hardly remember a time when they were small that I got to go to the bathroom by myself without them walking in …It’s like they had a personel radar that sent a siginal out “Alert mommy’s in the bathroom goooo ! And I bet you almost all you mothers will relate to that one…..Nothing wrong here folks move along…..
Kudos to her for nursing! I’m seven months in and I can’t even tell when one of my boobs is out anymore. Unfortunate for Tori that this picture is out there, but oh well.
Mort
Great, hope to ‘meet up’ there. 7:30 PST.
Mama nipples, for sure… and I agree with the notion that our culture needs to embed less shame into our bodies and definitely needs to honor and uphold the beauty and glory of motherhood and the special capacity that a woman has to bear and feed children. We have lost a lot of the respect and honor due us in that regard, -the magic of being female- and at least a little bit of acceptance with regard to breastfeeding and a whoooole lot less sexualizing of our breasts/bodies and contrasting shaming of our bodies would be *highly* appreciated.
I really didn’t mean to offend anyone here.
And I don’t expect people to run to the bathroom all the time, or give up breast feeding. I really should have phrased my comment better, but I’m doped up on cold medicine. Not that that should be an excuse, but I SHOULD have come across as more understanding, I suppose.
When it came to my blanket comment- I didn’t mean to cover up the whole thing. I know some people do that, but what I meant was to cover up partially. This is more for the people who take their whole breast out to breast feed in public. You COULD partially cover up. Not completely covering the baby, or yourself, but shielding even just a little bit.
@MorticiansDoItDeader
I really didn’t think of the bathroom thing that way, I can understand where you’re coming from. Just didn’t think of that immediately.
@Scarlet Vixen
Thank you for being kind! You and Morticians are some of the few that didn’t just jump down my throat. When I was writing my original post I was actually thinking about people who breast feed as discreetly as you do- I have ABSOLUTELY no problem with that.
I’m honestly not against breast feeding guys… I just don’t like when I see women sitting around with their whole breast uncovered. I understand the bathroom thing now- I just wasn’t thinking earlier. But I also don’t think I deserved to be told to get a grip or to cover myself up if I have a problem with it. I’m not saying don’t breast feed. I’m not saying that people that breastfeed in public are terrible people. All I did was state my opinions JUST LIKE everyone else does on this site. And I did say in my second post “If a woman is at least making an attempt to cover up, then breast feed all you want. Or do like a lot of other women do, and pump your breast milk and bring it with you”. I didn’t mean that all women should give up breast feeding time for pumping… I just think that there should be a LITTLE attempt at covering up- even if that is minimal.
So again, thanks MorticiansDoItDeader and Scarlet Vixen for being kind enough to phrase your comments in a way that wasn’t such a personal attack. I really appreciate it.
Erinn, just remember that the only valid point of view is pro breastfeeding (in public), and you’ll be fine. Say anything else, and you’ll be vilified.
@Ruffian9
Yeah, I’m starting to catch on. Share the majorities opinions and you’re fine. I’ve noticed that a lot in threads lately…
The difference is that even though I’ve stated my opinion, and made it clear that it was my opinion, I STILL feel bad. And I’m the one who got jumped on. I highly doubt any of the people who attacked me give a rats ass about anyone else’s feelings…
i agree… you can not have an opinion unless its what everyone else wants to hear. very sad. everyone is so “open minded” unless you say something THEY disagree with.
The bigger issue with peole diagreeing is they attack the person not teh opinion. No one has any idea who teh poster is, but they take the right to make all judgmeents and assumptions; they have a field day if you disagree, too, because they love the chance to call someone stupid whenever they can. Its pretty disgusting, but you learn to post in such a way that you get as few people jumping on you as possible while still having the chance to speak your mind and vent your thoughts. Its just basic human weakness, I think, to attack like that.
Still I love the chance ot be corrected and to see the many different opinins– but yeah no one, not even me, wants to listen at all once it becomes personally offensive. Its not the way to get yoru opinion heard- if thats what these rude people think they are tryign to accomplish its not working.
I admit I think oddly and everyne has their own way of thinking and even speaking, but come on- be a bit more formal, more objective, and constructive, and we’d all be much farther along our way to enriching ourselves by each others thoughts rather than just deafly and blindly flaming and offending each other.
My biggest tip is- try never to comment personally- its a rule I also break but only when its really bad lol Just stick to the topic or your topic and keep the other ‘person’ out of it- where they belong.
Erinn – taking on the “pro breastfeeding” group is a brave move, even though it wasn’t your intention. I totally understood where you were coming from in your original post. I’m tired of people criticising mums who don’t breastfeed. There has to be choice and options.
I breastfed both my sons. I worked full-time and pumped at work, 16 months for the first and 8 months for the second. Breastfeeding is incredible amount of work. It takes dedication. Pumping takes a lot of work. For anyone out there to suggest breastfeeding moms should just pump their milk and give it to their baby has NO clue about the horrors of pumping, collecting and storing and reheating it. Breastfeeding mothers are doing what is BEST for their babies. I’m so tired of the attitude that women are doing something wrong when they are breastfeeding. I wish people would just let others make their own choices without judging.
@Erinn
Absolutely, I care about hurting someones feelings but you have to understand where a woman who has experienced being “persecuted” for breast feeding in public feels like. I never got the chance (or had the courage to confront) people who snickered about it right in front of my face when all I was trying to do was be good mother so I might come off harsh when I get a chance to take a stand.
You see, I was doing everything that the doctors, nurses, the American Academy of Pediatrics, and the World Health Organization were telling me to do and yet there is some A** Hole who I overhear remarking about how he is “hungry too”. Harty har har!
So, I do apologize if my response opened the door to your feeling bashed. I really don’t mean it personally to you. I might be making a huge assumption here but I am assuming you are a female who has not had kids….??? I understand that before you have gone through it that it is weird and foreign and maybe not relateable….? You think to yourself “oh I wouldnt do that”… But you probably have not thought through the intense logistics of all of it. Anyway, I get that it is probably not rooted in malice and I am sure others who responded know that as well. It is just a topic that anyone who has gone through it is passionate about. My apologies for any hurt feelings….
@erinn, I appreciate your rethinking your position and try my best to have a thoughtful exchange with other commenters BECAUSE I’ve been attacked as well. I tried my best to “mend fences” with those commenters whose opinions differed from mine (even though they were the attackers). However, they wrote me off and refuse to respond to my comments even when addressed. As far as I’m concerned they’re the ones losing out, because listening to only those who share your views stifles learning. So, keep being honest. Even if your opinion isn’t “popular,” I respect your right to voice it (as long as it isn’t racism, homophobia or other “hate speak.”)
@ruffian9, “just remember that the only valid point of view is pro breastfeeding (in public), and you’ll be fine. Say anything else, and you’ll be vilified.”
That’s not necessarily true. @ scarlet vixen was yelled at on a Mariah Carey thread for suggesting that breast feeding was best for babies. I personally believe its what’s best for MY kids, but I don’t presume to know what’s best for you and your kids. If that’s formula, that’s fine with me. I think the vitriol comes from people telling others what they should/shouldn’t do with their bodies/their children. I respect the right to bottle feed and I’d appreciate it if others respected my right to breast feed (even if it makes them feel a little uneasy ).
Morticians…great name…you make a fair point. And I do respect each woman’s right to choose.
@Ruffian… oh, shut the hell up. Breastfeeding is best for babies. And it’s COMPLETELY NATURAL. If you’re uncomfortable seeing a woman feeding her child, maybe you should just stay out of all public places in an effort to avoid damaging your delicate sensibilities.
Honestly. What a bunch of garbage.
Excuse me? Who hell are you to tell me to shut up? Hello, open forum.
I never mentioned what I was or was not comfortable with. But don’t let that stop you from ranting.
@Erinn
I understand completely that none of your posts were intended to affront or offend, and I agree that several of the replies aimed at you were a lot more aggressive than your original post. However, my question since I read your first post is still the same: Even if a woman is sitting in the middle of a crowded public area with both breasts uncovered as she feeds her baby, why does that make you uncomfortable? The answer to that question is what a lot of people take issue with, it seems.
That our gut reaction in America (and probably elsewhere to one degree or another) to seeing naked breasts is to feel uncomfortable is something we should examine, especially in this particular context.
I don’t think Tori can breastfeed. I also remember her saying she couldn’t.
I totally support breastfeeding. It’s what our breasts were made for. It’s natural, healthy and free. I loved bonding with my baby. But I always used a blanket and/or went to private area to do it. I just didn’t want anyone looking and commenting plus it makes some people uncomfortable. Not to mention the fools who only see breasts as sexual and stare unabashedly.
At home and with friends and family, I didn’t care.
I refused to go to a bathroom though. But that was my preference.
@erinn
I agree with you 100%. I gurantee you the first time most of these posters see boobs on tv, they’ll be the first ones calling the FCC.
Yes breastfeeding is natural but so is farting and burping and peeing too and I dont care to see that either does that make me uptight maybe but at least not a hypocrite.
Sorry I dont want to see you ladies boobs breastfeeding or under any other circumstances. It takes minimal effort to cover up. No one is taking away your rights to breastfeed but don’t take away our rights to not watch it.
It’s really hard to pump and feed in public for me because my milk doesn’t respond to pumping well. It’s just easier to nurse. And of course I try to use a cover but my son gets all sweaty and hates not being able to see…he kicks it off. I still find a way to cover so that I don’t show boob. Then when I try to go to the restroom to nurse, I have to bring in a chair…no biggie….but then he cries because all the toilet flushing startles him. Out of Respect For people around me, i do the best I can. I’m still not going to just stay at home. We need to get out of the house! It’s hard to BF which is why some woman give up and understandably so …and in addition to other valid reasons.
Well, I can’t speak for everyone else, but to the idea of seeing boobs on TV, I for one wouldn’t care. Truly. Not just saying that just because I haven’t had to face it yet, but honestly… There is a difference between sexuality and nudity, and if it took a family drama with people walking around their every day activities in the nude airing on a network in prime-time to illustrate the point, I for one am in favor of it.
There is also a difference between farting/burping/peeing and breastfeeding. The first three are usually accompanied by unpleasant smells and sounds, which is why we find them distasteful (with the possible exception of peeing, and if you think about it, the only reason women have private stalls for peeing–as opposed to men–is that we have to do it sitting down, and why not kill two birds with one receptacle, as it were?). Breastfeeding is not accompanied by any unpleasant sounds or smells (hopefully). So what is gross or distasteful about it? If the answer to that question is the exposed breast itself, then we are back to the heart of the issue: Why, if not because we have allowed the sexualization of nudity in all contexts to shape our opinions, would we find the naked breast of a woman breast feeding distasteful? And if we can admit that our thought process has been influenced by a falsehood, can’t we choose to change it?
Also, Samantha, do you really think you have the RIGHT not to witness breastfeeding, or are you just saying that? You have the right not to be harassed, beaten, and stolen from. It is not a civil or god-given RIGHT not to feel uncomfortable. If it were, we would have completely lost the battle to separate church from state in this country long ago.
@Erinn, the next time you are in a restaurant, go eat your meal in the bathroom and see how you like it.
@Samantha
No one has to pee in public because there are specially designed rooms for relieving yourself — you know, restrooms. I can honestly tell you if there were breastfeeding rooms in nearly every store widely available, you wouldn’t have to worry about seeing breastfeeding in public spaces. And I use a cover-up, but some babies just won’t abide them.
Also, how often do people honestly see women completely expose themselves in public to feed? Because I can count on one hand the times I’ve seen women breastfeeding in public, period, and all of them covered up (either with the two-shirt method, a blanket or a wrap). Is this really so common that people are being accosted by topless breastfeeding moms on a regular basis? So many people seem so disgusted by it, yet I wonder how often it’s really happened to them.
I’m just happy to see that no one is overtly bashing women who don’t/can’t breastfeed. I tried to nurse my son, but was only able to do so for 6 weeks. (There were many reasons that I’m not going to go into right now). The decision to to stop & give him formula was the hardest one I’ve ever made & I worked myself into serious depressive episodes over it (I still have them occasionally) I went into motherhood convinced sure that I was going to do it all “right”; water birth, BFing & cloth diapering. I got 2 out of 3 & that ain’t bad.
My son is super healthy & very happy; our ped said that he was a perfect specimen of a 6 month old little guy!
My whole ordeal taught a LOT about judging other parents & their decisions. We may not understand how or why people do what they do but (as long as they aren’t abusive, of course) they are good parents, seriously, who are we to judge?
Even if she’s not breast feeding, she could still be swollen and/or sore or even have mastitis (God forbid!) or a clogged duct if her glands are still trying to produce milk. Any number of reasons the twins might need some fresh air.
Most women who have had breast surg can still nurse. Even if you only produce a little bit, the closeness and love you “feed” your baby is incredibly special. I had to supplement with formula at first, but I nursed for years.
BTW, I nursed in Europe and in Los Angeles…yentas will be yentas, no matter what country you live in! I got some serious side-eye from supposedly “cosmopolitan” Euro-wimmins, too.
I love Tori, agree with @Brin that Dean is the biggest boob in that family (lol!). Not because of how he and Tori met…he’s just a creeper.
So, Tori’s baby is what? A month old? For both of my kids, I was engorged with milk at the beginning. I mean, it was PAINFUL! And, for my first child, my nipples cracked…which was even more painful. I would cry at how much it hurt. The LAST thing I wanted touching me was a bra or nursing pads. I used to sit (in my bedroom) completely undressed up top, just to let a bit of air get at my breasts. I even had a fan directed at them sometimes. It felt great to let them hang out when I could.
The point is, we don’t know all of the circumstances of this photo. Maybe Tori was just hanging out (pun intended) in her room when her hubby and kid came in.
I think the whole thing was a huge mistake on Dean’s part. I give him a pass.
EDIT: @erin I’m really sorry that you’ve taken so much heat over expressing your opinion. If something makes you uncomfortable, that is your right.
Nothing wrong with Breast feeding in public but wear a cover up.
@ brin “He’s the biggest boob in the house.”
Lol – I am in Udder agreement!
Isn’t it about time to call a moraTORIum on this t(w)it??
TORI-FREE or/and BUST!
Thanks to all of you ladies who were kind to me and respectfully stated your opinions!
I really appreciate that.
I really really don’t have anything against breastfeeding, and I honestly didn’t mean to offend anyone. I didn’t think that my original post was all that bad… but again, I’ve been living off cold medicine and things for a sinus infection so I didn’t phrase it as well as I should have. It’s obviously a touchy subject!
@Anodyne
Your assumption is right. Which is probably why it makes me feel uncomfortable. I’ve never had to deal with it myself. And really, your original comment wasn’t one of the ones that made me feel attacked. But you are right about the not having kids. And hell, I haven’t decided if I will breastfeed mine when I do have them. I go back and forth all the time over the subject. I wasn’t breastfed – probably another factor into the kind of views that I have. I was a healthy baby, and have always done just as well, or better, than my peers. So to me, I guess breastfeeding seems extra foreign. Also, you sound like a wonderful mother!
@Mindscribe
I guess honestly it makes me uncomfortable because the only times I’ve been around it is in public places with strangers. (Some of which really did let things show quite a lot. My towns not known for having classy folk in the least). I’m the oldest child and grandchild in my family, but the other children are only at most 4 years younger than I am, and I’m not sure if they were breastfed or not. So maybe it’s that I haven’t been subjected to it before.
@Mrs Odie
It would have been nice for you to read the post where I re-thought my stance on that instead of jumping at the chance to tell me what to do.
@peanut
You’re the example of the kind of people that I’m saying are being too aggressive in their responses to people.
@MorticiansDoItDeader
I like the peaceful exchange! I’m all for hearing differing opinions, especially when it’s not just a case of “you’re wrong”. If you give me reasons to think differently, like you did, I always try to take that into account.
Thanks again to everyone who commented in a respectful manner. I am not so close minded that I don’t want to hear other peoples opinions. I do enjoy learning about different things and people. I was probably a little bit sensitive yesterday since I was sick (I’m a bit of a baby about being sick. Broken bones and injuries are nothing to me, but sinus infections make me kind of sooky).
Since the majority of you were actually really nice, I kind of like this site even more in a way. The people are growing on me 🙂
EDIT: Sorry this ended up being so long!
Sorry but this whole thing is gross, it ruins the fantasy of a woman’s breasts. We all know what they are REALLY for but I just didn’t need the details. I am a woman and I will not breast feed.
And attack me if you want I don’t care, it’s my choice not to breast feed and if I don’t like it, you need to get over it. I don’t have to agree with your choices so if you pull an @erin on me I will ignore you.
Piper, nobody has attacked anyone on this thread for choosing NOT to breastfeed. You’re absolutely right–it is your right not to for whatever reason(s) you have. It’s those who have not extended the same courtesy to women who choose to breastfeed, and do so public, that I think has so many posters up in arms.
Thank you for your kind response, I have no problem with women breast feeding in public.
OK all, you’ve been warned – PiperB will ignore you, so there!
I also heard somewhere Tori cannot breastfeed, which puts a different angle on this homey snapshot.
If you have a little boy, at what age do you start covering up your ta-tas? 4? 10? Never?
See, that’s what is weird to me too. I think they are a little TMI as a couple anyway. I don’t believe he didn’t see her glaring breasts in the background. Unless he had a few pints before posting it.
Wasn’t there a photo that showed that she had a nude photograph of herself in their bathroom? I have a feeling that nudity is a part of everyday life for them.
Awe you are so cool belle, I feel silly now.
It’s cute. It was a mistake. A funny mistake that he probably caught some sh*t for but that I hope they’re laughing about now. To the person who said she hopes the kids take after their dad — really? of all the things you could have thought to say you had to go there?
Breastfeeding aside, I hate that every time this issue comes up, a flood of people come in with the whole “breasts aren’t sexual, they’re only sexual because men say so!!!”
IMO, it can make people feel like pervs because *gasp* they actually enjoy a little play in that area.
You know, I’ve heard that argument a hundred times and I’ve never stopped to consider it.
After all, penises and vaginas serve other purposes besides sex. But they are still sexual.
Some people have foot fetishes. Not sexual to me, but to others it is. I guess it’s all relative.
i love it! its probably the truest insight to family life ever portrayed on reality tv!!!
Good lord..poor old Tori! I am thinking her hubby is not the sharpest tool in the shed. That is a lovely family pic with all of them. The kids are lovely looking.
If hers are solely for breastfeeding how come she’s had them surgically pumped up so much? Can’t really have it both ways. Mega large silicone. I’d worry about leaks in my kid. Not worth it.
I think she looked a lot better natural, she had a nice figure. But natural is usually more appealing to the eye.
THANK YOU!
Breasts are for feeding that’s why I had them surgically enhanced to look sexier! Doesn’t really make sense but don’t try to tell that logic to the breast feeding crowd.
We all know why females have breasts. Men have nipples too but they don’t have breasts. Yet men can walk around topless, even men that have “manboobs” jiggling around at the beach that are far more offensive than a mother nursing her baby.
What I do have a problem with is a 3 year old child still nursing (really, by that time the child should be eating solids and drinking from a glass) or the mother is topless. Not a discrete push to the side but a total up to the neck or completely unbuttoned topless display with breasts hanging out. Tori’s areolas are HUGE I’d be gawking and not in a good way. And I’m female so I understand breasts and breastfeeding.
I’ve been to Europe many times, and to countries that have nude beaches so you would think nude breasts were “whatever go right ahead.” Wrong. In London, Paris, Rome, Amsterdam, Oslo, and Stockholm, I noticed the dozens of times I would be in a public plaza or restaurant mothers were nursing their babies so discretely one hardly knew there was anyone at the Dairy Queens unless you listened real closely.
I was impressed! How does Europe do breastfeeding so classy and Canada and the USA are so crass and “in your face?” I think it must be the clothes European woman wear and the way they carry themselves. Such fashionable clothes that offered the discretion and yet accessibility that enabled those European mothers to breastfeed in public with such ease and poise that Canadian and American women just haven’t mastered, yet.
Erinn, I agree with you. I don’t want to see too much skin when I’m at a restaurant either. I don’t care if it’s nipples (male or female) or butt cracks or armpits or feet,lol, cover it up when other people are eating!
@mindscribe, I don’t know why, but I find the sound of a suckling baby to be a little offensive. Especially when I am trying to eat. Maybe I associate it with the ensuing spit up that usually happens! yuck! 🙁
So it is OK to hear someone slurping down their food at a restaurant, but a suckling baby is offensive? Boob or bottle? They still make the same sound. It sounds like a lot of people have strange baby aversions. They are humans too, and deserve to be able to go out in public. That’s how you learn to be a socialized human.
Sucking noises from a bottle is a little different than sucking noises from your breast though. I mean why wear clothes in public? Why shave our underarms? There is a reason modesty exists. Yes a baby deserves to eat but diners don’t want to envision a gooey breast while eating their food, sorry.
Here I am posting a third time! I love the discussion here – it pleases me that women are talking about it!
@eternalcanadian said that european mothers were more discreet/better at breastfeeding and I can understand that. I also understand @Erinn point of view as being a first generation breast feeder – my mother did not breastfeed nor did my sister who was having babies at about the same time I was. There was a stigma (especially within the Mexican culture where I come from) that breastfeeding was strange. That I breastfed at all broke the mold for my family. I have never in my life (prior to doing it myself) saw or knew of anyone who did. Obviously there is some American phenomenon that occurred during the previous generation (hello formula marketing!!!) that created such a taboo uncomfortable aura around the issue. I also think there is a learning curve to being discreet and figuring it out. A lot of us Americans do not have the benefit of a mothers, aunts or grandmothers advise on proper tops, positions, etc. that many other cultures may. I definitely was better at it with my second then my first. I think that we are experiencing some growing pains and that dialogue such as this is positive.
For Piper B., power to you for having the CHOICE! Do, don’t, whatever – that is great! That you make an informed decision and that the decision is yours is awesome! Do be aware that even if you dont, you still have major breast changes since your body does assume that you are breastfeeding.
For @orion70, I like a little breast play when I am not breastfeeding as well. We are complicated human beings with a capacity to experience a vast number of emotions. Just because you like some things sexually does not mean you cannot compartmentalize and still breast feed without arousal.
@ERINN I am sorry. I am breastfeeding and touchy about the topic. Friends? My baby won’t nurse with her head covered. I usually wear a nursing tank with a shirt over it. I pull the overshirt up and the nursing tank down. The overshirt hides the top of my breast and the tank covers my belly. My daughter’s head and mouth cover/hide my nipple. Breastfeeding is not a bodily function of elimination like urinating or defecating. It’s hard enough to be a nursing mom and feel so isolated by the needs of a new baby. NowI haveto pump my milk and get my daughter to take a bottle because some people are disgusted by natural feeding? My baby won’t take a bottle and I can’t pump and store my milk. I have something called lipase imbalance and my milk sours. Plus, if you’ve never pumped, you probably don’t know it isn’t as easy as it sounds. Nursing moms shouldn’t be marginalized. We want to bepart of the world too. You wouldn’t ask someone in a wheelchair who has feeding issues to go eat somewhere else because it made you uncomfortable. And yes, we have the choice to feed privately, but why should we have to? Luckily, we don’t. Thelaw says I can breastfeed anywhere.
Just because she didn’t nurse her other children doesn’t mean she’s not nursing this one. Perhaps she made up the condition as an excuse to not breastfeed because there’s a lot of judgement when you don’t.
Or she may be drying up who knows. I believe I read that exposing your nipples to air is good for them when you’re having certain breastfeeding issues.
Mrs. Odie, I’m sorry, but it was your choice to have a child. You don’t get to make yourself out to be a victim over a choice you made.
The fact is, you know you live in a country where public breastfeeding is a touchy subject. Lots of people are freaked out by it. That’s probably not going to change in your lifetime. So, you can choose to nurse openly in public if you want, where you know it is going to make people uncomfortable, or you can do it discreetly, or you can do it in private. It’s really that simple.
@Sally – I respectfully disagree. You can substitute any population (gay, black, jewish, hispanic, etc.) into your argument and no one would dream of suggesting to just accept that other people can treat you poorly because you “know you live in a country” where people feel a certain way. I think a lack of respect for breastfeeding women is sexism at its core. Not too long ago this country wasnt “comfortable” with women working in certain industries, obtaining higher education or *gasp* voting. Should we have just accepted those things as well? Ummmm, No.
And, yes, I do think it will change in our lifetime – in certain parts of the country it is already taboo to be out in public feeding a baby formula (and you will hear about it from people too!) So, you can get used to being uncomfortable. It’s really that simple.
So this I don’t understand. We do (and should) support breast feeding, but formula feeding is taboo? How is that supporting women? We live in countries (I’m Canadian) where the ability to choose is paramount. I was formula fed, and I would expect that choice (free of judgement) to be available to me or any daughters I might have.
@Ruffian,
I agree 100% that it should be a choice for women and that is the ultimate goal. My point was that breast feeding is not so unusual and we aren’t lifetimes away from its gaining acceptance. My example of formula feeding becoming less in favor in certain areas was meant to illustrate how the tides might be turning. I personally think women should do whatever makes them and their babies most comfortable and happy. Thanks for calling me out on it so that I could clarify.
I’m not uncomfortable. I’m trying to be pragmatic. The emotions around this topic are running high and it’s absurd. For example, for you to compare exposing breasts in public to sexism or racism is preposterous!
The U.S. is an uptight, puritanical country in many respects. Many people here are uncomfortable with nudity in any form. That is just a fact. You can throw all the red herrings you want into the mix, but it still doesn’t change the facts.
@Sally — And because these are the facts, we should just accept them deal with it? Sorry, but not much good in this world is done by insisting that we must always be as we are now. The comparison drawn between racism/sexism/this issue is appropriate because they are all examples of people letting irrational thinking dictate their actions. So, what, we are just supposed to accept that people are always going to feel uncomfortable with this and try to accommodate them? Um, no. Stephanie is right; if everyone thought like you did, it would still be okay to bar African Americans from eating in the same room as white people because it made them “uncomfortable.”
You’re forgetting that the double standard here is not on the breastfeeding mom but on the non breastfeeding woman. We aren’t under normal circumstances allowed to just expose our breasts so why get to when you’re breast feeding? In this situation the analogy of sexism or racism is for the non-breastfeeding side.It’s women making an excuse to do something that we don’t normally do…
Lol I live in a mommy bubble so I didn’t even hear about this till I saw them on. The Talk today. Too funny! While the publicity is convenient, it does seem like an honest mistake. I mean, if it was on purpose there are definitely better angles…or she would’ve covered up her belly…something.
As for the whole breastfeeding in public issue (the never ending debate), I am frequently exposed from the waist up in front of my 4 1/2 year old, and as faar as he’s concerned it’s normal. I do, however, cover in public or awhen anyone is over. My son is used to it and I would have no problem with someone breastfeeding in front o him, but other kids aren’t exposed to it so I don’t eel I have the right to make the decision for their parents. I realize that may be perpetuating the cycle, band I would love it if everyone thought it was as normal and beautiul as I do, but I also understand as a mother that it’s not my place to decide what’ appropriate for other peoples’ children.
All of that said, when I say I COVER my daughter, I actually attempt to cover her and then pull the cover back from her ace so she can see me…b/c otherwise she’s going to pull the whole thing off. So really, if you come stand over my shoulder your gonna see boobb. But I try. I you can’t do your part and give me a little space, guess your gonna have to live wiith it! 🙂