Lindsay Lohan: “Scrape? This is all a complete lie… these false accusations are absurd”

And just think… I was actually doubting The Crackie Method. I was actually thinking to myself, “Hey, Lindsay Lohan might finish her probation and be on the right side of the law for half a second.” But a crackhead never loses her (prison) stripes, and thus, we have a new scandal. I was updating the post throughout the day yesterday, but at some point I stopped because there was just too much information and the stories were varying too much. Basically, Lindsay Lohan was at the Hookah Lounge two nights ago, when she got into some kind of hit-and-run situation. Some say she clipped the manager of The Hookah Lounge. Some say she just scraped his car. Some say she barely grazed everything. I don’t even know. When it’s The Cracken, my assumption is always the worst case scenario. So here’s some more stuff that went down, in convenient bullet points:

*In the immediate aftermath of the hit-and-run, the LAPD spokesperson said, “Early this morning, it appears Lindsay Lohan was cornered in a narrow parking lot by paparazzi and she grazed another vehicle in her attempt to get away. Officers responded, and when they got there the owner of the car said there was no injury or damage to his vehicle. This is an extremely minor case.”

*After refusing medical attention at the scene of the incident, the Hookah Lounge manager did go to the emergency room hours later, where he filed a police report and now “plans on pressing charges.” Oh, and he has an attorney. Radar says that prosecutors and probation officials have been notified. A source tells Radar, “The manager is claiming that he is having trouble walking, and that Lindsay ran over his foot. The alleged victim is in the process of filing a police report, and there are two uniformed LAPD cops at his bedside, and he is in the process of relaying his version of events. Lindsay’s probation officer, and the two prosecutors handling her theft case have been notified that Lindsay is being accused of hit-and-run, which would be a misdemeanor if she is charged.”

*The Cracken released a statement to the press: “Lindsay stopped by the club to drop in on a friend’s birthday party. When she arrived, there were so many photographers there that she decided to leave and never even got out of the car. At no point was there ever any indication that her car hit anyone or anything. We are confident this matter will be cleared up in the next few days.”

*The Cracken then tweeted: “Scrape? This is all a complete lie. I’ve been at community service. Last night, I attempted to wish a friend happy birthday, which I didn’t even get to do because I was freaked out by all of the paparazzi. These false accusations are absurd.” I love the inclusion of “I’ve been at community service.” She’s such a little angel, isn’t she? “I can’t have messed up, because I’m still doing the community service from the last time I messed up!!!”

*A source close to the Cracken tells Radar, “Lindsay is adamant that she absolutely didn’t hit anyone while she was driving. Lindsay is extremely upset that there would be speculation she would ditch the scene of a potential crime scene. She is days away from being taken off formal probation. Lindsay has talked to her attorney Shawn Holley, who has subsequently reached out to cops from the LAPD Hollywood division. Would it make sense for Lindsay to flee the scene with tons of paparazzi? No, she wouldn’t have done that if there was a remote possibility she had hit someone.” Smells like Classic Honig to me.

*Interesting factoid: LL was stopped by the police just minutes after the hit-and-run incident, but she was no longer driving. She was in the passenger seat, and an insider (cough) tells Radar, “Lindsay was absolutely 100% sober, and cops had no reason to arrest her.” Cough. Cough.

*Lindsay’s next probation progress report/court date: March 29. LL is “freaking out” over the “very real possibility” she could go back to jail.

*The campaign to discredit The Hookah Lounge manager’s story is already underway. Check this Radar story for the Lohan talking points. Of course the dude isn’t credible. But I still hope he presses charges and pursues the crap about of this thing.

So… in the end, what’s going to happen? Considering TMZ reports and blog comments aren’t admissible in court, I’m going to say NADA. The Cracken will live to clip more pedestrians. And trust me, she will.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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91 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan: “Scrape? This is all a complete lie… these false accusations are absurd””

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  1. brin says:

    This is just another “clip” in a long cracked out melodrama that is the Cracken Lohan.

  2. Sisi says:

    Anyone having problems loading CeleBitchy? The site hasn’t worked for me this entire week on my computer, I get a ’400 error’ page or a ‘try again’ window. It works fine from mobile devices apparently :/

  3. logan says:

    Second verse (or 3rd or 4th or 5th?) same as the first. Little bit louder and a little bit worse.
    This twit is just too entertaining, they should pay her for acting like a total a^^.
    Does all that face and lip filler seep into your brain? I believe it must.

  4. Lis says:

    I – and a lot of other people – have been thinking that she’d look so much better if she went back to being a redhead.

    Well, now it’s happened and she looks like a cut price, crackhead Khloe Kardashian.

  5. Sisi says:

    Ontopic: Lindsay would never flee after a shady incident in a car…? LOL!!! iirc she did that two-three times in the past. I remember her jumping out of a car and hiding in a store, clipping a stroller and she scraped another vehicle before at least once I think.

    • Tapioca says:

      Well, quite. Even if this story is total BS I’m still going to believe it because turning her automobile into an offensive weapon is absolutely Lindsay’s MO.

      “Would it make sense for Lindsay to flee the scene with tons of paparazzi?”

      I like the way they’ve assumed that Lindsay’s brain works in the same way everyone else’s does. Because I expect most of us would not still be on probation for a misdemeanour committed WAAAY back in 2007.

      Seriously, this idiot’s plea deal was one day in jail, 10 days of community service, complete a drug-treatment program, 36 months’ probation, completion of an 18-month alcohol-education program and a $300 fine.

      That’s it – for a coked-out car chase amongst numerous other crimes. Lenient and simple to follow, right? And yet she’s still in trouble with the courts because she’s a delusional kleptomaniac.

    • Kimbob says:

      Lilo really is a monster. She needs to drive like I need a hole in my head. are weapons to her. I truly believe she is a sociopath in that she has no regard or compassion for other people. Add to that she is a “celebrity,” so here’s the equation:

      sociopath + celebrity/enabling mother & publicist = perfect person who does no wrong (i.e., “it’s everybody else’s fault…they’re all jealous as hell & out to get me”)

      Edit: Thus the canned response of, “These accusations are false and absurd!” Ever notice how much her camp uses the words “false” and “absurd?”

      • Sisi says:

        Imo she thinks that everything and everyone gravitate towards her because she’s the friggin star and therefor it’s their fault. The man collided with her just like the stroller, it’s the cocaines fault that it got into her pants and don’t get me started on that deceitful necklace… She can’t help it that she’s a magnet, she’s Linsay Lohan – the center of the universe. And the world is as flat a a cocaine filled mirror

      • Eileen says:

        Sisi-all of what you just said. ^^^^

      • Molly says:

        I won’t know how cracked out she is right now, but I’d love to see someone ask her why she can’t be more like Natalie Portman (sans the ballet dancer baby daddy). They basically grew up in the same area, but Lilo’s parents are gross and stupid, and Natalie’s dad’s is an endocrinologist and her mom is an artist (not a former Rockette).

        Parents make all the difference, yo. Stupid people shouldn’t breed.

      • Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

        No error in the world should be solved with another Natalie Portman.

    • gg says:

      How come I saw the film of this happening, with a closeup of the white scrapes along the entire side of her car, and her bumping off the driveway and driving off, LAST NIGHT on the news if this is so absurd and untrue?

  6. Neelyo says:

    Why the lollipop? Is she trying to keep from grinding her teeth perhaps? A pacifier probably would have been too obvious.

  7. Samigirl says:

    Does she think that we all just can’t see the ginormous scrape down the side of her vehicle? I don’t understand how one car can get that much damage wo causing damage on another vehicle, like the LAPD says.

    • Kimbob says:

      @Samigirl…yes, RIGHT?! Yesterday when I was reading all the “conflicting reports,” I was thinking to myself…can’t everyone else read between all of Crackie’s crack-lies? I was (yes, AGAIN) just so galled.

      Yes, when I saw those nasty scrapes all down the side of her car I thought, whoa..that’s more than just a scrape. Then all these conflicting reports were out there. I was just like, you know..she’s just a Crack Liar..that’s all.

  8. tooey says:

    Am I the only one who thinks she’s sucking on a fentanyl pop? ;0

    And weren’t there pix of the Porsche with a huge dent and scrape in the side? Had to have hit something, though I doubt a knee could do that much damage.

  9. The Truth Fairy says:

    I think that she will eventually end up killing someone with her car just like Brandy, Rebecca Gayheart, Vince Neil and Matthew Broderick.

  10. Naye in VA says:

    sounds interesting. if it happen couldnt we expect pics? man gets foot run over and hours later has trouble walking? idk. i dont care for crackheads but this….nm ya’ll dont care anyway lol. down with cracken!

  11. Roma says:

    I can’t remember which site I read it on, probably TMZ, when they first showed the scraped car they reported that she had lent the car to her friend’s son, and that’s who caused the damage.

    It was only hours later that the whole “she actually hit someone” came out.

    So my guess is when the police stopped her, the dude was driving and took the blame and that’s how TMZ got the scoop? Need to go find it now…

    Edited to add: No, she switched with a girl. But here’s the link to her saying some kid did it. It should be added to the Cracken timeline!

  12. Talie says:

    I kind of buy her story…this guy obviously changed his tune about being really hurt after he found out who it was. Of course, why she is out at clubs anyway? IDIOT!

    • Lucky Charm says:

      Not necessarily. Often after an accident, or even working out, seem fine at the time, but it’s not until a day or two later that you feel the effects. Many people refuse treatment on site because there’s no obvious trauma (broken bones or excessive bleeding & lacerations) but hours or sometimes days later injuries are felt.

      • swansong says:

        Yep – people tend to get numbed by shock…You can have really serious internal (and sometimes external) injuries and not be aware of it/try to refuse treatment because you don’t feel it.
        I think the wait between the accident and treatment makes this more plausible, not less (he would have known they were famous from the swarm of paps, and why wait for people to lose interest in the story to seek press attention).

      • OriginalTiffany says:

        I did the same thing. Was in a major crash on the freeway, blood all over my knee, but was in shock and refused to go to the hospital. I was dying the next day, my back and neck were all screwed up.

        She’s the Cracken, do we expect any less?

        Nice to be back! Computer in the shop for a week!

      • Zooyork says:

        Glad you’re ok in the end Tiffany! That sounds really scary!

  13. togsos says:

    CRAAAAAAAAACKEN! I’m sorry I didnt even know who this person was till a few weeks ago when i got addicted to the whole LL saga on CB. I have in all honesty just wanted to roar Cracken for next to no apparent reason for an age now :D Obviously her drug taking is affecting my brain, that is the power of the mighty Cracken. All that said I do think that the manager guy is totally out for a payday and much as I think this mess deserves to go to jail, I’m not so comfortable with idea that it be under these circumstances.

  14. hillbilly in the corner says:

    Up date :
    Now we have a eye witness …LOL
    She never got out of the car
    The man never left the stairwell he was standing on and so she couldn’t have do it
    Its all lies
    All coming for a poor innocent 16 yr old girl fan who was talking to Lindsay in a dark ally after midnight in a nightblub area of LA….
    How dam innocent is a 16 yr old girl hanging with a group of men who are no doubt drinking and druggin while supposedly working as Papz after midnight on a school. night
    The same girl who is be exposed as a Lindsay Lohan stalker fan who is all over twitter and facebook with her Lindsay devotionals and tweets….but what No pics…
    Good witness Lohan Inc……
    Hell I don’t know why they are even bothering with the denials…
    It not like she has a career or a reputation to save ..that has be destroyed a long time ago…

  15. cr says:

    The man behind her in a couple of those pics, is he trying to be a Brad Pitt knock-off?

  16. Mimi says:

    I hate this chick so much but the manager actually was like- It was nothing and when he found out it was The Cracken, he was like my foot my foot! Really? As much as it pains me but I think the living fugly blow-up doll is right!

  17. skeptical says:

    If she really didn’t hit anyone, then why did she switch places and make the other person drive?
    Like she knew she was gonna get questioned and wanted to set up the other person?

  18. Asli says:

    Why haven’t they taken away her drivers license yet?

    • TheOriginalKitten says:

      Asli! :)
      Seriously! And why doesn’t she have a driver? I thought all celebs had drivers anyway? I would think one like LiLo who can barely drive properly would have one for sure. Then again, maybe it’s because she’s so broke she can’t afford one.

  19. lucy2 says:

    I agree Asli, she’s proven repeatedly that she is unsafe behind the wheel.

    The guy’s story is a little sketchy though, if he were truly hurt, he wouldn’t have refused medical attention until hours later and after getting an attorney. He’s looking for some kind of payout.
    Doesn’t mean she didn’t hit something though. Her record speaks for itself.

  20. mel says:

    I refuse to judge until all the facts are in…she is such an easy target these days…look at all those people behind her in the pics trying to get her pics…I mean really…I feel sorry for her. There I said it..I do…and I think where a lot of other celebs have been given many many passes she still gets beat upon all the time. Read the bio on Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton…they make Lilo look downright angelic.

  21. Cathy says:

    I do believe she hit him, she’s the Cracken it’s in her DNA. But that manager is kind of fishy. He told the cops he wasn’t hurt, and then all of a sudden his foot hurts and he has a lawyer. He’s in it for a quick payday and nothing else.

  22. LeeLoo says:

    This guy is totally sketchy to the max. However, I do hope he presses charges just to violate her probation.

  23. G says:

    If the medical report says he’s injured, she’s in serious trouble. She should send a lawyer over right away to make a quiet settlement.

    So predictable the victim would be smeared.

  24. MS says:

    One of these days, all her lies and reality will slap her in the face. I doubt she will be strong enough to handle it!

  25. msshuffleupagus says:

    Look at her hand!! Its like an eagle claw.

  26. Gene Paremsan says:

    i cant believe people are actualy clamoring to take her pic in the last photograph if i saw her i will either weep for her or offer my condolences. My grandmother looks better than her.

  27. Rux says:

    I think I am in the minority here who believes that unfortunately, LL did not hit anyone or anything just because this manager guy kept changing his story around. Partied from midnight (time of incident) to 6 AM until he FINALLY decided to go to the hospital. I know a few are saying that it takes a few hours for the shock to wear off. Ten minutes of my google searching, states it takes between one to three hours for it to wear off. Secondly, this was not a “traumatic’ accident. If you got your foot rolled over by a car going 2 to 5 mph you would feel it. This dude is full of shit. He found out who she was and wants a pay off. I wish this were true; the Cracken really needs time behind bars to collect herself so she can get that “Oscar” she keeps talking about. Anywhoo, if this incident does become “true” at least we will be spared her cue card Liz Taylor impersonation.

  28. Ruby Red Lips says:

    How many people is Lindsay actually blowing to get away with all this cr*p?!!?

    Agreed this will go nowhere, but it really should – she is so guilty (even if the man is only claiming now because its Lindsay – she still most likely ran over his foot) and the fact she switched seats after speaks volumes!

    Drugged/drunk out driving and hitting a person and fleeing the scene – of course if this hadn’t happened she wouldn’t have needed to swap seats…

    Honestly – what has she got that no other person has to pathologically lie and get away with everything?????

  29. Devon says:

    It is very possible that this guy who was allegedly hit didn’t feel any pain at the time but then as the night wore on he started to hurt. I can’t count the number of times I’ve done something and thought, “lucky I didn’t hurt myself” then to be in a hell of a lot of pain hours later. I did it to myself last week when u dropped a butter knife on my foot. At first it didn’t hurt but then the bruise showed up and wowzers!!

    He does sound sketchy but this is Lindsay Lohan we are taking about. She’s 10 times sketchier than anyone else!

    • dahlia1947 says:

      But he keeps partying all of those hours (what kind of manager is this anyway?) and doesn’t feel the pain until later?

      So we can say that the pain didn’t come later because he was totally drunk in the first place! Um I say that he is not credible AT ALL.

      • Lucky Charm says:

        Just because someone is drunk doesn’t mean they can’t be hurt. It just means they may not be aware of it right away. Not sure how that means he’s not credible. If he seeks medical treatment, the exam will show the extent of any injuries anyway.

  30. Happy21 says:

    Whether the dude was injured or not it doesn’t matter. We’ve all seen the photos of her car with a big ole owie down the one side. If it is true and she was no longer driving when pulled over I’d have to assume that she was not, as she claims, 100% sober. She probably took off freaking because she had been drinking so she had someone switch spots with her to make it look like they were the ones driving.

    She’s a dipshit and totally, absolutely, incredibly dillusional.

    **Sigh** I need to pour myself a cracktini because I CANNOT TAKE IT!

  31. SCREEEE says:

    Does she even know what “absurd” means? This story is absolutely the opposite of absurd – it follows her crack-pattern perfectly.

  32. dahlia1947 says:

    That manager said he was alright and he was going to leave it alone, I guess until somebody told him it was Lindsey then he started seeing $$$ signs.

    If people would just GET OUT OF THE F%*Ki# WAY and not surround celebs cars then maybe they wouldn’t get hurt! Just a thought!

    See just like right here, all of these people are around her, that’s what they do. So if she tried to walk through the crowd to get away, somebody would yell :”OWEE SHE BUMPED MY SHOULDER! I’M SUING!”

    She just needs to go away for awhile, look for good scripts, and think about being that “actress” again! Heck, this girl worked with Jane Fonda and Jamie Lee Curtis! She was at the top of her game and I think that she can be there again!

    Just get away from people who want to “TAKE” from you and bring you down.

    • Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

      Like when she ‘takes’ things that belong to other people and ‘down’ like she’ll plow through a field of pedestrians?

      Standing in front of an occupied car is stupid, driving a car over a person in your way is criminal.

      She’s going to end up killing someone out of impatience, what the hell point is worth all of that?

      A really good way to not fall into the traps of opportunists would be to not give them opportunity to trap you.

      ‘Yes, judge they were blocking my path’,

      ‘Yes, I can see how that would be irritating. How did you respond to this?’

      ‘Drove through a crowd of pedestrians.’


      Whatever the question is, vehicular homicide probably isn’t the answer.

    • swansong says:

      She was never ‘at the top of her game’, she was an over-hyped up-and-coming movie starlet like Hillary Duff etc. Her highest point was Mean Girls, which wasn’t the masterpiece some folks talk of it as. I don’t get why people speak of her as a potential Streep – she’d be lucky to have JLH’s career had LL not been a mess, let alone Aniston’s movie run (of bombs).
      As for Jane Fonda, JLo also starred with her, so i guess that makes Lopez a true thespian *snort*

  33. anon33 says:


    If anyone at this point actually believes that THIS BITCH is “freaked out” by the paparazzi, they need their GD heads examined.

    And I totally agree with everyone that is saying that you don’t just drive through a crowd of people because, you know, you might kill someone.

    /going back to read the story

  34. Lisa says:

    Riiiiight, everyone is is absurd, but you’re clearheaded and competent. Nice to meet you, Lindsay, my name is Queen Elizabeth.

  35. rightgrrl says:

    OT, but does anyone else thing she was sporting the bangs recently because she got some work done on her forehead? (even her wigs on SNL had bangs, it just seemed odd) her forehead seems unnaturally smooth at the moment…

  36. skuddles says:

    Whenever I see celebs sucking on lollipops I always assume it’s a drug laced treat and they’re getting stoned right in our faces. Maybe I’ve watched too many episodes of Weeds…

  37. Amanda says:

    While I definitely think Lindsay is crazy, I’m pro-Lindsay on this. Even if she did run the dude over, I don’t feel bad for him.

    Put yourself in Lindsay’s shoes trying to drive while throngs of paparazzi surround your car. I can imagine it must be pretty hard to not run over someone’s foot, especially when they are deliberately putting themselves in harm’s way.

    TLDR, if you don’t want to get run over, don’t stand in front of a moving vehicle.

  38. ruddyzookeeper says:

    Looks like she hasn’t washed or brushed her “hair” since she changed the color. Gag.

  39. sup says:

    this poor linnocent angel! why can’t they just stop coming after her? clearly utterly envious of her glowing career, hair and talents! she was just trying to wish a friend happy birthday, you gais, when the paps blocked her way and ruined her car! and she stopped on her way to speak to a 16 year old fan, what a saint she is! so now you see she also has a witness! suck on that! can’t wait for the comeback lindsay! lmao

  40. U says:

    I don’t understand why people hate on her so much. If she is a cracken, then just let her be. Why are people so concerned.

  41. girl says:

    Will this girl ever realize she no real talent???.. her career as a crack head is more preveliante.

  42. girl says:

    No offense but all of these posts in her defense on here sound completely nuts…. maybe some of you mihgt be in denial about your own situation, anyway this girl is a complete waste of time and energy… talentless crackhead..