Charlize Theron to Michael Fassbender: “Your penis was a revelation”

In yesterday’s post about Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron and the trailer for Prometheus (which is SO awesome), I only came at them from one direction: the direction of the Fassdong. It didn’t occur to me until hours later that Michael is actually very much Charlize Theron’s type. She dated a charming Irishman (Stuart Townsend) for the better part of a decade. She obviously liked very fair-skinned, boyish men. Charlize is hot for Fassy. I’ve decided it. As for whether Fassy is hot for Charlize… I don’t know. He seems to only go for black, Asian or mixed-race girls, but I would imagine that most men would like to try out Charlize and her insane legs. We’ll come back to this.

In my coverage of the Human Rights Campaign gala in LA, I somehow completely missed that Fassy was also at the event. He presented Charlize with her Ally for Equality Award. I’m including photos of Fassy up at the podium, drinking something (Scotch?) and presumably toasting his girl. And when Charlize accepted her award, she made reference to The Fassdong. You know all of the HRC people loved that. Seriously.

And the award for best male member in a supporting role goes to … Michael Fassbender!

That’s according to Charlize Theron, who jokingly saluted her Prometheus costar’s anatomy on Saturday in reference to his several scenes of full-frontal nudity in Shame last year.

“Your penis was a revelation. I’m available to work with it any time,” the new mom, 36, said at the Human Rights Campaign gala in Los Angeles, where she was honored with the Ally For Equality award, the L.A. Times reports.

“I have to say that I was truly impressed that you chose to play it big,” she joked to Fassbender, 34, who later toasted the crowd himself from the podium. “Most other actors would have gone small, trust me. I know because I’ve worked with them.”

Fassbender’s manhood has been a popular subject ever since Shame was released. George Clooney even made an off-color joke about it in his Golden Globes acceptance speech after winning best actor, for which Fassbender was also nominated. Clooney thanked Fassbender “for taking over the frontal nudity responsibility that I had,” then wisecracked that the Shame star could play golf “with your hands behind your back.”

[From People]

“I’m available to work with it any time”?????? Oh, YOU IN DANGER GIRL. Would it be construed the wrong way if I made reference to my slut-dagger at this point? It would? Fine. I shall sheath the slut dagger and simply hope that Michael sticks with Nicole Beharie for the moment. *sob*

Also – Charlize and Kristen Stewart were interviewed this morning on Today. Charlize really looks like Abbie Cornish here, right? Kristen is… awkward. As always.

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77 Responses to “Charlize Theron to Michael Fassbender: “Your penis was a revelation””

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  1. Eve says:

    Just my opinion, but the constant mentioning of Fassbender’s penis is getting old (and tiresome).

  2. Lis says:

    Is Charlize looking a bit pulled?

    I feel like that’s all I can look at when I see actresses recently. Probably says more about me than them, but still.

    Plus, I think the reference to the Fassdong came about because she’s a little defensive about speaking at an LGBT event. Heaven forfend people think that she’s gay.

    Plus, it’s the perfect way to get publicity for her films.

    Bit of both, I’d say.

  3. Bite me says:

    So Charlize is messing with her face.. Damn shame

    • Amy says:

      I don’t see that at all. Her face looks the same as it did 5-10 years ago, albeit thinner. She’s one of the only NATURALLY gorgeous actresses in Hollywood IMO. The girl has rare beauty and I’m hella jealous, but I don’t see how or where she has had anything done. She has wrinkles around her eyes and she’s not hiding them- good on her. The only thing she has “done” is add hair extensions. Not a big fan considering she was rocking the short hair like no one else (take note Cameron Diaz and your dreadful bob).

      • Alexis says:

        Theron’s had recent work, and it’s a real shame because I agree that she is one of the few legitimate beauties in Hollywood. I think that if she sticks to subtle work, she could age in a really beautiful way, like Julianne Moore (she’s really pretty and sexy in a way that pulled-and-prodded women aren’t). I don’t think Theron’s done too much that’s not reversible (looks like a lot of fillers and Botox), but I do hope she doesn’t end up looking like Nicole Kidman.

    • Camille (The original) says:

      Bite me- I agree :( .

  4. merski says:

    I wish everybody would just STOP talking about his penis. It’s so embarassing. We get it – it’s big. Leave the guy alone already. Ugh.

    • Minty says:

      I agree with you. If people talked excessively about the genitalia of some actress, you know there would be a lot more complaints of sexism and objectification. There is a double standard here. Charlize’s joke about Fassbender’s penis would be more appropriate at a comedy roast, not at a Human Rights Campaign event. At least Clooney was slightly more subtle. Still, they were crude comments made by celebrities used to being in the public eye. Really immature.

  5. JJ says:

    i’m kind of in love with her. so glad she’s doing promotion for two awesome films

  6. spawn_of_roni_raygun says:

    I can’t believe she said that. I love her a lot now.

  7. JM says:

    I think we’re all available to work with the Fassdong!

    I wish I could hate on Charlize for the potential of a Fassbender hookup, the rumors of a Skarsgard hookup and who knows what with Keanu Reeves. However, she’s just to beautiful and talented so I’ll just say she’s one lucky b!tch.

  8. sarah says:

    She’s naughty) I bet Fassy appriciates this)

  9. BW says:

    Is there a hole in the podium at dong level?

  10. lisa says:

    Funny she is flirting.. and he is not taking the bait at all.

    People act like they have never seen a penis before: big, small or average.

    I think the comment was a bit much. Just like George Clooney talking about it when he accepted an award.

  11. Granger says:

    What a weird comment. Wouldn’t we all be horribly offended if a man had said to a woman, “Your vagina is such a revelation and I’d like to work with it”???

    • Minty says:

      Yes, weird and very tacky, especially since it was said in front of an audience. If the situation was reversed, and Fassbender had said something similar about Charlize’s vagina, the reaction would be negative. It’s wrong to objectify women, of course, but it’s okay to do it to men? I’m surprised people aren’t smelling the hypocrisy because it stinks.

  12. cmc says:

    “He seems to only go for black, Asian or mixed-race girls…”

    Oh, god, I didn’t know that. Mixed-race, dark-skinned Dominican here! I have a shot! Back off, Kaiser ;)

  13. rachel says:

    ahh he is so hot i cant even stand it!

  14. Jen34 says:

    I agree, also. And, seriously, I did not see Shame, but I have seen stills from other nude scenes he has done, and I can’t believe that is what is passing as huge these days. No offense to Michael.

    Edit: This comment was meant to be in response to the first comment regarding too many Fassdong references.

    • hmmm says:

      Right?! Right?! I saw Shame and I don’t really get the big deal about his peen. Seemed pretty average?

    • T.C. says:

      It was pretty thick and long WITHOUT even being ereck. That’s bigger than average. Also the man you are with is horse size Fassy’s is pretty big.

    • FingerBinger says:

      Totally agree. I saw Shame and his size is OK. I’ve seen bigger that also wasn’t erect. Is it because he’s white?

      • Isabel says:

        Checked out some pictures and don’t see what the fuss is about. Appearantly I only date guys with huge peens, cause this one looked kinda normal/average to me. (Yes I understand it’s not erect and Im comparing it to non-erects ive seen) Seen bigger, seen smaller. (reading this again makes me realize I sound like a big ho for saying this hahahaa)

        If Charlize is so shocked about the size of this one, I feel bad for her, guess she’s only seen below average peen then:P

        The only non-erect peen that ever shocked me was the Chris Brown one.. That thing was like a fucking snake! hahahaa

  15. The Bobster says:

    There was a young scholar from Kent,
    Whose dong was exceedingly Fassbent…

  16. novaraen says:

    If only he would do something about his butter teefs. Wow…what a hotness killer. :(

  17. Chatcat says:

    I think Fass is so sick of the talk of his penis at this point. Anyway, besides the penis thing the next thing angst’n him is that he is Irish and in the last photo of him at the podium he is thinking “I am so sick of all the Irish stereotype shit I get. As soon as I a finished this drink I’m punching someone!” Maybe Charlize?

  18. macey says:

    I just love Charlize. Im not into the Fassbender thing but I do think they look good together. Kristen Stewart looks really out of place with these two.
    I never got into the Twilight thing but she is not an appealing actress at all. I don’t get the hype with her but then maybe you have to be a twilight fan to appreciate her. Nothing with her looks, shes cute I guess but over-all she just doesn’t have an appealing personality or presence.

  19. Leticia says:

    If you don’t want people to discuss your private part, then don’t broadcast it on the big screen.

  20. LBeees says:

    I won’t say “poor guy, leave him alone”, because–like any actor going full-frontal or showing T&A–you do leave yourself open to the comments.

    But I do feel that her statement was unnecessary and over-the-top. If that comment had been directed at a woman, we would have a problem with it. Or at least I would.

  21. FOREVER says:

    Ok so how big is his damm dick cos they make it sound like a third leg?

  22. Bellydancer says:

    Charlize back off the dong bitch!!!!
    It belongs to me and Kaiser we have worked out a schedule.
    EOM

  23. Paul Ó Duḃṫaiġ says:

    Scotch ffs? Sure he’s probably drinking Irish Whiskey, we invented the stuff after all!

  24. mymy says:

    It is sooo average. I mean her poor ex boyfriend must be mortified at the implications of her glowing over it.
    And I am confused as to the hype over Fas. He isn’t all that with his cloths on

  25. Turtle Dove says:

    Agreed, Kaiser. She seems into him. when do you ever see highly animated pictures of her? Umm… never. She’s actually giddy in these shots.

    (PS – I KNEW that slut dagger wouldn’t stay sheathed for long.) ;)

  26. Lauren says:

    CT is messing with her face. Look at her forehead and cheekbones. And hair extensions. And a baby. Fassy dong-chaser-pretender.

  27. rissa says:

    love all the people saying “its average”

    how many d*cks have you seen? lol

  28. Lars says:

    He really needs to invest in some Crest White Strips ASAP. And Kaiser, the Fass Dong is all yours- Charlize is way too hot for that.

    I still am waiting for Charlize and Ryan Gosling to start dry humping. Eva Mendes can go crawl back in her hidey hole.

    • ZenB!tch says:

      The mall near me in suburban LA offers instant whitening for $99! If he is even in LA – Westfield Sherman Oaks Fashion Center. Westfield Century City or Santa Monica may also have a kiosk. Those are out doors so I’m too busy sunning to notice the kiosks.

  29. NerdMomma says:

    I’m pretty surprised by all the comments. I think she was joking and it was pretty damn funny.

  30. Cleo says:

    Kevin Kline! He looks like Kevin Kline! WHY?

  31. aprayerforthewildatheart says:

    LMAO!! I’m really starting to like the “single” Charlize, she’s funny. :D

  32. Charlize fan says:

    She has messed with her face. But it’s very subtle. It takes a hard core Charlize fan to notice this. Check out the recent video below. Her face looks BIG.

    http://youtu.be/J69JRKdmzKU

  33. ZenB!tch says:

    To liz from the last Fassy post…. EEK! I saw the yellow teeth this time. EWW! I could never kiss that. EWW! I’m so disinterested I’ve never even Googled his penis. Or maybe I’ve matured because normally after the Clooney comment I would have looked.

    But enough about me and Whatshisdong… lets get bitchy….

    I will never believe that evil queen Charlize (or even the one on Once Upon a Time) would ever be threatened by Kristen Stewart. She’s pretty in a blah way not gorgeous like Charlize.

  34. JuliaDomna says:

    Wow, Kristin Stewart is really awkward. I sort of feel her pain, though. Whenever attention is placed on me, I sort of turn into an incoherent mess as well.

  35. mercy says:

    Fassy is cute, but his smile is too big to get away with those yellow teeth. A light bleaching is in order, stat.

    What has Charlize done to her face? I’ve never seen her look so frozen and puffy cheeked. Hopefully it’s not permanent.

    I like Kristen. Her awkwardness is part of her appeal for me, but I hope she quits smoking.

  36. misstrishm says:

    Yeah I can’t get passed the teeth. He really doesn’t do anything for me.

  37. Hypocricy says:

    I am also tired of all the penis stories about this guy.

    It’s like some of his peers want to make him the Rocco Siffredi of Hollywood ! Live him alone already.