Beyonce has confessed that she is simply not ready for children, but when she is, she’s going to make sure she’s able to give them the time they need.
So does she plan to start the Carter-Knowles dynasty any time soon? ‘One day,’ she says. ‘I’m really patient. I wasn’t in a rush to get married. I’m not in a rush to have children. Because I work so much, I’m just not ready yet. I have a nephew, my sister’s son – it’s his birthday today and after this interview I’m going to Houston to see him. I was there in the delivery room when he was born. I had begged my sister, please don’t make me, ‘cos it’s going to traumatise me. But she talked me into it – and I was right! I’m scared of that! I mean it was amazing, and I cried when he was born. And I can’t believe that we as human beings have the power to create another human being. But it’s hard. It’s a lot of work and you have to be ready to be responsible for another human being. And I guess I want to be so good at it. I want to make sure that I’m ready so I can give my focus to my kid. When it happens it’s supposed to happen and it will. You know, I over-analyse everything, and I want to be the best at it, and maybe that’s just me being an over-achiever. I just wish I was better at everything.’
Beyonce might be using her perfectionism to try and be the best mother ever, but if that’s where she’s going to put her focus then at least she’s putting it in the right place. After having three people ask me when I’m returning to ‘real, full time work’ this week (my youngest of three just turned one) I kind of appreciate Beyonce saying that having children is actually a lot of work.
She also shares this story about her mother’s parenting style.
‘There have been times where my mom has literally smacked me in my face. When I was 19 – when I was confused and wondering what am I doing, who am I? – we were in the record store, my mom and dad were both there, and my song was playing, and I was feeling like hot stuff. She was asking me something and I started singing while she was talking to me. And there were some really cute guys in the store who were noticing me, and I was like, “Oh, yeah! I’m hot!” And my mom said, “I’m talking to you.” And I kept singing. And so she smacked me – slapped me in my face, so hard. And my dad said, “What are you doing?” Because I didn’t get spankings growing up. They didn’t believe in that. My mom said, “She thinks she’s hot stuff ‘cos her single is out. Nobody cares about that! You are still my child. I brought you into this world, I can take you out of it! Now go sit in the car.” But it was the best thing she could have ever done to me because for the first time I realised I was losing sight of what was important.
Telegraph – read the full interview here
I don’t believe inhitting your kids, it’s actually illegal in my country, but I can’t help but wonder if this is why Beyonce has turned out so normal. If a few other teenage stars had been given limits things might have turned out a little differently. Did Lynne Spears ever mention telling her daughters to keep their egos in check?
Beyonce is shown performing on “Strictly Come Dancing,” the UK’s version of “Dancing With The Stars” on 11/10/08. Credit: WENN
I know this is going to sound horrible, but I’m of the Anne Shirley mindset wherein regular beatings are not ok in the least, but if a kid needs a slap, well, you as parents will know where and when it’s necessary. And it may never be! I’m just saying.
Lock a barbed wire chastity belt on her , just to be sure. Every time some starlet says this, they end up knocked-up.
I agree. My mom didn’t spank much (it never got that far, she was too scary as it was :)) but she did slap me at just two very key moments and I’ll never forget those. Most of it was for very rude sarcasm (major “talking back”) that I did as a teen. When my daughter grows up, I’ll do the same, if necessary.
I got spankings raised as a kid, but there were few and far in between.
I think spanking’s an effective to deterrent to misbehavior. I also don’t have a problem with spanking, because even though it hurts, it only hurts momentarily so long as you don’t hit too hard, and in most cases, a whack on the ass opposed to a wack upside the head whathaveyou won’t cause any serious trauma. It might result in a bruise, but that beats brain damage or broken bones.
She always seems to well put together. Not a hair out of place. Maybe she needs to lighten up a little. Have fun you know. Do something on the spur of the moment. Before you know it ti will be too late.
my parents spanked me maybe twice or three times, and both times were before age five. they never had to after that, although i suspect that in part that’s because spanking works better on littler kids. it’s like rapping a puppy on the nose with a newspaper – doesn’t hurt much, but stings enough to reinforce that what i just did=bad.
IMHO, I think spanking should be one tool in the discipline toolbox. It’s not good to rely solely on spanking as a form of discipline, but it’s also not good to just use time outs either. Every kid is different, so it makes sense that you need a variety of methods in order to keep them in line.
I was spanked as a kid, but only when I *really* deserved it. I can count on one hand the number of times I was slapped between the ages of 5 and 18.
I think there are a lot of children nowadays who could use a few good spankings. I’m so tired of going to the store and listening to some kid screaming at the top of their lungs that they want that thing while their parent stands there either ignoring them or trying to talk to them while they’re screaming. *shudder*
I appreciate a woman waiting until she feels ready to have a child, but, I am so tired of sooo many celebrities now waiting until they are beyond sucessful, wealthy and READY and then just to the test tube deal and have twins. Yeah! when they are ready. Planning everything must be exhausting.
If I had a daughter like Beyonce/Sasha Fierce, I slap her face too. Egomaniacal idiot that she is!
My parent’s spanked me when I was growing up, and my mom got all kinds of flack from it from her mother-in-law/my grandmother. But, the funny thing is, my grandmother once told my Mom that she liked going out with our family the most because the kids are so well behaved.
I admit I never had time outs, but they seem kind of cruel to me. You mess up and you are no longer part of the family for an hour. Go sit in the corner, Mommy doesn’t love you right now. At least with spankings the punishment got over and you never had the impression that you weren’t a person anymore and had to go sit in a kennel like a dog.
But the only time that I can remember being slapped was at a Thanksgiving celebration. My mom was talking and I kept interrupting and she told me that I needed to be quite but instead I continued to throw my two cents in… suddenly as I was about to put the fork in my mouth I said something that I had no business (don’t remember what it was) and my mom slapped the fork into my mouth. I remember it bouncing off the back of my throat and from then on I never interrupted again. I think that sometimes people become overly senstitive when it comes to the idea of spanking because they think that it automatically means leaving welts and bruises on your child. I think that a pop her on the hand or the butt is not a problem.I got regular spanking and I’m perfectly fine.
I was watching Nanny 911 on this little girl was kicking her mom in the stomach and punching her in the back. I sat there thinking to myself,”Why is it okay for the child to punch and kick her mother, but if the mother turns her around and smacks her butt then she is a bad parent!” I just think that society sometimes as a strange sense of what is right and what is wrong.
I’m not feeling that, I can understand displining a child and giving them a smack if they’re exceptionally obnoxious, however, slapping a 19 year old in public? Recourse to violence is the only way to check your daughter’s ego? Nope, don’t believe in that. Not for something like that anyway.
Find another way.
If your kid was trying to shake down your personal possessions to sell for crack – then I think some kind of a slap might be in order.
Beyonce probably doesn’t want to have kids because she’s terrified of turning into her mother. I don’t blame her.
Meh, I think it’s refreshing when a woman admits she’s not ready for kids, and wants to focus on her career. I know too many women who spend a crapload of money for college and sometimes even grad school, to only become one-dimensional blabbering about poopy diapers and temper tantrums. Incredibly sad, really.
Elle, I’m really glad that the fork didn’t stick into your soft palate and that you didn’t have to go to the ER to have it removed. What your mom did was dangerous.
I was physically and emotionally abused by my father and mother, so have a VERY different view than what y’all have said. Suffice it to say that if I have children, they will have timeouts and will – to the best of my ability – never be the victims of forceful pain inflicted by an adult because the adult lacks the maturity to explain in terms the child can understand – or because it’s easier for them, take your pick. Timeouts, given correctly, give time for the child to calm down; they’re not meant to be used to make the child feel unloved…
As for Beyonce, I’m glad she’s waiting and will have children when she’s ready. It sounds like she wants children for a good reason, and not just to further her career. Good on her.
I too am a childhood abuse survivor. I was beaten with a belt every day “whether she needs it or not” as my father put it. And while I am opposed to abuse of any kind, I’m still not anti-spanking. Don’t get me wrong, if you’re spanking your child for any and every transgression it’s obviously not working… You’re still spanking. But a swat on the bottom when the circumstances warrant it isn’t a bad thing. I can count on 1 hand how many times I’ve spanked my now 11 year old daughter. There are so many other ways to discipline without resorting to physically hitting them. And lots of organizations that will give you free advice on how to better discipline.
my mother used to hit me but the truth is i had it coming….
if she knew half of the stuff I did..
she wasn’t abusive, i had to show respect for her and myself…and at times i didn’t so she would clock me.
How we got on the tangent of corporal punishment I don’t know. But I really love what Beyonce said in regards to really thinking about and being prepared before having a child. Would that more of the population thought that way. She deserves a lot of credit for those words.
I’m with you SadbutTrue !
Why hurt my own beloved kids physically or psychologically ? They just need an unambiguous signal that what they’ve done is bad.
Spanking in form of light slaps on the butt works fairly well, it doesn’t need to hurt, just to be infrequent.
As for timeouts, no time is fixed, they go to an adjoining dark room and come back when they’ve decided to behave. And go back if they don’t. Never lasts a hour !
As for explaining *everything* in terms a child can understand, that was my idea before I had kids, but it’s just another tool in the toolbox because of its limits.
Many adults do lack the maturity to choose the right path even when really well explained, and so do kids. I wouldn’t bet on young kids complying just because of a really nice explanation (without psychological violence such as “do it or the Boogeyman will come and get you/Mommy will be so sad/Mommy won’t love you anymore”).
Another limit : even mature non-abusive parents are unable to explain well when they’re tired. Parenting is exhausting – and just when you’re so tired, kids misbehave the most.
turned out normal??!!?
since when was being a complete egomaniac normal? 😕
i, get spanked by my mom.
BIG DEAL
if she knew half the stuff i do.
im not a slut or anything but what
else do you expect from a 15 year old?.
i look up to beyonce.