Enquirer: Maddox Jolie-Pitt is in love with Jennifer Aniston, of course

Back in February, OK! Magazine had a story about the uncool Bermuda Triangle. Of course – I mean, all of the tabloids run weekly stories on all of the variations and possible hookups of Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston. But this one story was particularly funny because it read like Brangelina fan-fiction written by Michael K. It was all about Brad sitting down with his oldest son (Maddox) and explaining how he (Brad) used to be in love with Jennifer Aniston, and of course Angelina walked in and there was a huge blowout fight, etc. Well, The Enquirer has taken up the cause of “Maddox is interesting in knowing who this Aniston woman is” and they’ve just gone full-out. According to The Enquirer’s sources, Maddox recently watched Marley & Me, and now he’s totally in love with Jennifer Aniston.

Angelina Jolie’s 10-year-old son Maddox has developed a king-sized crush on Jennifer Aniston after he and his nanny recently watched “Marley & Me” say sources. Now, Angelina and Brad’s adopted youngster plans to decorate his bedroom with posters of Aniston – and Angelina is freaking out.

“Maddox has become infatuated with Jennifer, and Angelina is fuming,” a close source told The Enquirer. “Maddox just loved Jennifer’s rapport with the pup in the movie and got hung up on her nice smile.”

Now Jen’s newest fan is begging his parents to get him posters of her to put up in his bedroom. Maddox has no idea about the longtime rivalry between his mom and Brad’s ex-wife – or of Jen’s belief that Angelina stole Brad when they were still married eight years ago.

“Maddox simply likes Jen’s sweet face and look,” said the source.

To make matters even more uncomfortable, Jennifer trumped Angelina in a recent magazine beauty poll for “Hottest Woman of All Time”. Angelina finished in 10th place.

“Jennifer is not only winning the puppy love of Angelina’s son but is also beating her in magazine polls,” said the source. “She is incredibly jealous of Jennifer’s girl-next-door image, and believe me, she won’t be letting Maddox put any posters of her on his walls.”

[From The Enquirer, print edition]

Am I the only one who thinks that Angelina would probably laugh her ass off if one of her kids wanted an Aniston poster? Besides that, from what little I know of Maddox, he probably just wants to deface the poster or throw knives at it (Angelina and Brad let Maddox play with knives). Anyway, sure. Jealousy, discomfort, etc. I’m surprised they didn’t include something about Angelina screaming at Brad (“You told him about that woman! It’s your fault!”) and Brad breaking down in tears whilst smoking a bong.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

 

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51 Responses to “Enquirer: Maddox Jolie-Pitt is in love with Jennifer Aniston, of course”

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  1. Bite me says:

    Haha… I just love the national enquirer

  2. Fyofeelings says:

    Damn they reaching for a story now. This is gone to far they need to leave the kids out of it. If are going to continue to beat a dead horse just keep the kids out of it.

    • autumndaze says:

      I would like to further see a law that forbids photographs of children that are taken without their parent’s consent.
      I can understand how the parents are “public domain” as actors, but no child volunteered for that level of scrutiny.

  3. fabgrrl says:

    Well…think about it, he can’t exactly put up “Lara Croft” posters, like other boys his age.

  4. skuddles says:

    So they’ve completely exhausted all the triangle/anorexia/Angie preggers/kids fed crap stories and this is what they pull out of their ass???

  5. lucy2 says:

    Insanity! It’s hilarious, except they’re involving kids – not good. Leave them alone.

    That puppy is so cute.

  6. Gal says:

    And the nanny was never heard from again.

  7. lisa says:

    PLEASE IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY..

    MAKE THIS STOP…..

  8. ladybert62 says:

    Sorry but I disagree – I do NOT think trampie-Jolie would laugh her ass off if Maddox decorated his room with Aniston pictures; she would go ballistic and there would not be any such pictures in his room afterwards.

  9. sup says:

    i swear this was written by one of the jenhens who roamed the gossip blogs.

  10. deb says:

    wow. they have really gone too far.
    the parents are, for once, not parading the kids, so no justifying taking “potshots at the kid because hey, the pics out there”

    so why suddenly slandering the kids?
    the kids didn’t ask for this.

    (at least not yet, hope never).

    • deb says:

      see, this is what i don’t get.
      taking pot shots at a baby! why? what’s blue ivy ever done? except cry and crap in diapers all day. take potshots at beysus, i don’t care. potshots at brangelina or tomkat everyday of the week and twice on sunday.

      but at the kids? at babies? isn’t it bad enough for the kids to have crazy parents already. nope. apparently not. they have to have sundry ADULTs bullying them over the internet and all the print rags too.

      and you wonder why some of them grow bad?

      can’t we wait until they hit puberty at least? then they’ll do stupid stuff by their own and it’s open season.

  11. Eileen says:

    Serously-this is just ridiculous. It makes me sick when these mags do stoires on the kids. NO kids should be open fodder for this crap-I’m no AJ fan by far.

  12. aprayerforthewildatheart says:

    In the great words of Austin Powers re ‘uncool triangle-gate’.

    “WHY WON’T YOU DIE?!?!”

  13. Brian says:

    That is one unfortunate looking child.

  14. wunder says:

    Later this little boy will grow up and marry a Jen Anniston clone.

    Then the fur will really fly!

  15. C&M says:

    Crossing the line for sure. We all know it’s a lie but start this lie. Why not leave these innocent kids alone.

  16. Karma says:

    LOL….There are posters of Aniston out there? Is she doing photos/centerfolds for Teen Beat Magazine or whatever the kids buy for posters now days?

    Too funny!

    I highly doubt a young boy is going to be interested in a 40+ year old woman. He probably has comic book posters and action heroes from cartoons, like most boys his age.

    Teenagers have T-n-A posters. Not boys.

    Geez…I bet he is still trying to scare his sisters with bugs.

  17. ShayKay says:

    Maddox wants a picture of Jennifer Lawrence hanging from his bedroom wall.
    Brad wants a picture of George Clooney hanging on his bedroom wall.
    Shiloh wants a picture of G.I. Jane hanging on her wall.
    Zahara wants a picture of the Duchess of Cambridge hanging on her wall.
    Pax just wants a f@cking wall.
    Angelina wants Jennifer Aniston hanging on her wall.

    So did I get the Brand’s stereotypes right? Or do you have a better idea for the next Enquirer story?

  18. Liv says:

    “…and Brad breaking down in tears whilst smoking a bong.”
    :-D

  19. serena says:

    AHAHAHAHAHAHHA OF COURSE. And know what? Pax is having a secret affair with Aniston..Shocking!!!

  20. Prancer says:

    It’s funny. Why can’t people just laugh at the silliness? Hahahaha

  21. Bored suburbanhousewife says:

    This is made up. Ten year old boys do not put up posters of 40 year old actresses.

  22. Mauibound says:

    I have to admit I lean more towards JA, but to me they are both beautiful women and that story is just silly!

  23. Jordan says:

    Jennifer Aniston’s love life is the new alien abduction for the Enquirer.

  24. Tazina says:

    Sounds like a complete, fictional BS non-story, talk about grasping at straws.

  25. CHRISTIAN_GIRL says:

    They actually believe in this recession, that someone, somewhere will spend money on this.

    Great, Maddox is now turned into an evil child taunting his Mother while Brad for reals is doing what? Oh yeah, Brad is not at all present in the house and has no involvement in his children’s lives.

  26. Maya says:

    Decorating his room with Aniston posters…
    that would be so freaking hilarious if it was true.

  27. dahlianoir says:

    *sigh* yeaaaah right. Not BS at all. Some people need to have a REAL job.

  28. Maya S. says:

    I like how they emphasize that he loved how “nice” and “sweet” Aniston seemed. Because she’s the nice, sweet girl-next-door – aka, “good”, and Jolie is the evil villainess – “bad.”

  29. Ginger says:

    My son is ten and has zero interest in girls…this story is so funny! “breaking down in tears whilst smoking a bong!” LOL!!!!! That’s why I LOVE your writing!

  30. Vesper says:

    Why does this kid never look happy?

  31. Laura says:

    Lol lol lol lol lol this story is amazing and I want some of whatever the writer was smoking! On a side note that puppy is just too cute

  32. ZenB!tch says:

    That puppy is sooooo cute. I want him!

  33. Francesca says:

    Angie and who can it be now?? Billie Bob is too gross. But she needs something less predictable than Brad it seems. She is getting a little old for most of the real hotties but I am sure she can still seduce most guys.