Lindsay Lohan bans herself from The Standard, meaning she was probably banned

On Friday, we discussed the controversial theory that Lindsay Lohan was both the alpha and the omega, the attacker and the attacked, the instigator and the victim, the sober and the crackie. You see, some reports claimed that Lindsay Lohan had been the victim in a bar brawl that left her soaked in someone else’s cocktail. Unfortunately for LL, it doesn’t seem like that version was true, as only Michael Lohan is backing up that side of the story, and pretty much whatever Michael says is the opposite of the truth. So Lindsay got into ANOTHER bar fight at The Standard. In addition to the bar-fight at The Standard which she got into two weeks ago. The Standard simply isn’t her kind of place, the kind of place where a crackhead is free to be crackie. So LL is “banning” herself:

Lindsay Lohan will never step foot in The Standard Hotel again … or at least for the foreseeable future. She’s telling friends the hotel is a curse, causing her nothing but heartache … and this week’s drink-throwing incident was the last straw.

You would think Lindsay might swear off clubbing period, but if you thought that you just don’t know LiLo. She’s on the hunt for a new hip place to spend her free time.

We’re told Lindsay is fully aware she’s now a big fat target … knowing full well there are people who want either quick publicity, some easy money or both — but she vows not to become a shut-in out of fear.

As for Wednesday’s drink-throwing debacle — Lindsay admits she was at The Standard’s nightclub Smoke and Mirrors … but insists the other girl was the instigator.

We’re told Lindsay is confident everyone will eventually realize she did nothing wrong during the drink-throwing incident and the alleged shoving incident two weeks ago.

[From TMZ]

This is maybe the dumbest f–king story I’ve heard in so long. Like, I think it’s a “challenge” when LL blatantly lies about whether or not she was even at a club, or whether or not she had a drunken hissy fit and threw a drink at somebody. But to push this kind of “pity poor me, I’m the cracked-out victim, I’m never going there again!” story – it’s just pathetic. Obviously, someone within The Standard’s management told Lindsay that she was no longer welcome – they did the same with Amanda Bynes, and all it took for Amanda was one DUI. Just one! Here’s an honest-to-God question: why does ANY club let Lindsay in? Yes, she brings publicity, but she’s the Typhoid Mary of crack shenanigans. When you let Lindsay into your establishment, you’re saying to the world: “Budget, D-list crackheads are welcome to party here!”

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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50 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan bans herself from The Standard, meaning she was probably banned”

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  1. bea says:

    Those boots are beyond horrid.

  2. brin says:

    Why doesn’t Crackie just stay at Chateau Marmont and be the “homebody” she professes to be.

  3. Ruby Red Lips says:

    More crackie lies… *yawn*

  4. YuYa says:

    She needs to start working out, her legs are in horrid shape.

    Those boots have been all over fashion blogs since 2008, thank god people have stopped featuring them so often. They look like Frankenstein shoes.

  5. TruthTella says:

    “the Typhoid Mary of crack shenanigans” LOLz

  6. NerdMomma says:

    What club wouldn’t want a beautiful, classy, Liz Taylor look-alike to grace patrons with her presence? She seems like so much fun to be around.

  7. Cathy says:

    I just gotta give it to the Cracken. Her shenanigans are always good for a morning giggle.

  8. Bess says:

    There are many clubs/bars in LA that the Cracken can terrorize. It’s only a matter of time before she pops up in another venue leaving a trail of drama and destruction in her wake.

  9. sup says:

    she really thinks she is invincible in every way so she has no regards for the safety of other or herself. she probs has that god-complex that narcissistic sociopaths often do. well no wonder she thinks nothing will ever happen to her because the law seems to ignore her menacing acts constantly. but of course being dumb as rocks she doesn’t realize that she does get hurt, career wise, financially and physically and she will continue to be damaged if she keeps this path. can’t feel too sorry for her, she had a billion second chances which she all took for granted, whereas the average joe would be doing time if he did half the shit she pulled. and she endangered other people’s lives, has no regards for them anyway and acted in a nasty racist way so who cares.

    • NerdMomma says:

      I was totally with you until you said “racist.” What is that about?

      • sup says:

        yeah more people should know about this, i heard about it not long ago and was enraged. way back when she first started to lose her marbles, lindsay hijacked a car full of three young dudes when she was completely drunk, and under some influences. the boys were in fear for their lives when she drove in high speed to stalk somebody else’s vehicle, allegedly her ex’s. after the police got a hold of her, she said that “the black kid did it” (one of the 3 boys in the car was black, his other 2 friends were white)

      • hunter says:

        Dude in front of me left his stuff in the metal detector today. Security said “who’s stuff is this?” and I said “the black guy with the baseball cap.”

        Does that make me racist?

      • sup says:

        @hunter did you read the whole thing at all? she hijacked a car, then blamed it on one of the kids who was in it, and it just so happened to be “the black kid”! wtf

  10. MorticiansDoItDeader says:

    “Lindsay Lohan will never step foot in The Standard Hotel again …”

    A-list celebs everywhere now flock to The cracken-free Standard.

  11. dorothy says:

    If the stupid twit is trying to resurrect her has-been career why would she put herself in situations where things could happen? The fact that she continues to do the same stupid things over and over only screams “dumb as a doorknob”!

  12. YT says:

    They left out the part about LL is working hard on preparing for the Liz and Dick movie.

    Of course The Standard banned her. Hoenig or Dina had to their lie out first.

  13. some bitch says:

    Oh Lindsay, gurl, get thee to a gym. How can she be so skinny and yet so flabby?

    How many times has she claimed she’s not “going back” to the nightclub lifestyle in interviews? Eight, nine times?

  14. hillbillygirl45 says:

    “I’ve banned myself from The Standard” is definitely crack-speak for “They won’t let me in anymore”. I’ll bet she threw a big ol’ fit when she found that out. First, she’s not there, then, she was there, but it didn’t happen, then, it did happen, but it was the other girl’s fault. Have mercy! Way too many cracked-out lies all at once for me to keep up with. This nasty girl ain’t NEVER gonna get it together, is she? Listen, I hear Motel 6 callin’, they’re needin’ someone to scrub their toilets…..

  15. hillbillygirl45 says:

    I really wish Matt Lauer, or somebody, would do a follow-up interview asking about the Liz Taylor movie, and, just how well being a “homebody” is working out for her? Would’t that be Must See TV? LMFAO!!

  16. Kimbob says:

    At this point it’s safe to say it’s almost predictable what her reactions/”explanations”(LIES) to alleged incidents will be. It’s truly laughable. Can’t believe Lindsay and her “team” actually think people believe her. She’s most definitely a crackhead, crack-liar.

  17. Olive says:

    Total bitch face in the first pic, it looks like if she had a drink in her hand she would toss it in someone’s face.

  18. Deann Baldwin says:

    She needs to stop frequenting clubs and frequent a hair salon and work on her color. Lifetime needs to just sign the damn orange safety cone and put it in a starring role in the Liz movie. It would at least show up sober, and has more emotional depth than Lindsay and probably can be insured. I honestly think Lindsay is mildly retarded and I dont mean that jokingly. She is emotionally stunted at about 8 yrs old. Has no sense of reasoning. She needs to be banned from L.A.

  19. skuddles says:

    Perfect crackhead logic… blame the bar, not the patron, uh huh.

  20. the original bellaluna says:

    Lifetime, may a thousand water buffalo piss on your clean white sheets *turns head; spits*

  21. lucy2 says:

    If I owned a bar or something, I wouldn’t let her in either – you know she’s going to cause a problem and then have a lawsuit, and why get in the middle of that?

    It’s hilarious that she thinks she can lie and won’t get caught. She ALWAYS gets caught. Stay home, you stupid crack cow.

  22. skeptical says:

    How big does a Lifetime budget generally run? If they sign the likes of LeAnn Rimes I’m guessing they can’t afford to pay much? Tho MeAnn also seems like the type who would charge way more than she’s worth…. how do these things work? Would cracken accept a small paycheck so long as she could say it was big?
    Would crackberry snortcake have to pay her own insurance? How does movie insurance work? What’s the purpose? To pay the crew for non-filming days due to actor illness or something? Is it like car insurance where a bad history jacks up the rate?

    Would a lifetime movie really be that big of a deal? Isn’t a comeback a marathon rather than a sprint? I’m not sure crackie lacracken has the perseverance to do a marathon. LeAnn’s movie (whatever it was…never saw it) didn’t make her an A-list actress. And LeAnn did hit A-list status in her field for a while too. For longer than blohan did anyway.

    And does anyone else find it interesting how dates keep getting pushed back? If lifetime loses $$ thanks to cracknanigans I’ve no sympathy. Let it be a lesson to bigger studios. Cracken doesn’t want to work, she just wants to be worshipped. Please see her obsession w Oscar and her “the service was not fulfilling” dumping of community service.

  23. Vesper says:

    At most bars, she probably has someone let her in thru the back – friend or paid staff member.

    This quote kills me:

    “…she vows not to become a shut-in out of fear.”

    Drama Queen anyone?

    • the original bellaluna says:

      I’m sorry, did I just read the line “vows not become a shut in out of fear”?!?

      What is she afraid of, free drinks hitting her in the mouth? Or wasting her own booze due to her lack of self-control in tossing them at others?

  24. Ali says:

    Ok, I saw this on the K-Stew article as well and I have to comment. I don’t think it’s necessary to be saying to other women ‘oh so untoned, you need to work out.’ What if these girls just don’t care? I’m sure LL only cares about her next pap shot in any case. When did we get so brainwashed by shows like biggest loser? I swear when it comes to appearance no amount of effort is ever enough anymore.

  25. hillbillygirl45 says:

    Well, I’ve NEVER been so outdone in my entire life. I hope Lifetime loses their ass foolin’ with this skanky, lyin’, no-talent, crack-smokin’, arrogant little wench. OMG, I CANNOT STAND THIS WOMAN!! She just does what she wants, to whoever she wants, and gets by with it. That sucks, and so does she. Is there a petition I can sign to try to stop this travesty???

  26. Sugar says:

    i know it’s just lifetime but it Liz freaking Taylor. My heart sunk Liz Taylor may have had her addictions but listen up Lindsey she owned up to them. she was a beautiful woman with that soft voice. I saw a picture of her & James Dean lounging on this couch she was laying down & Dean was reading a magazine (Look I think) & on the cover was Liz. Sweet picture of two of the hottest ever!