'12
If I happen to agree with Gwyneth Paltrow on an important topic, can I still find her insufferable? More importantly, can Gwyneth Paltrow, with her history of being insufferable and judgy, really expect me to buy her argument that mothers are simply too judgy of other mothers? This is my dilemma today. Us Weekly has some transcribed excerpts of Gwyneth’s new interview on Lifetime’s new show, The Conversation With Amanda de Cadenet. Sidenote: Amanda de Cadenet is an English rock-star-wife and “personality” – you can read her Wiki here. Anyway, Goop is the first guest on this new show, and they ended up talking about postpartum depression and how judgment-laden mothers are of other mothers. It’s the new “trend” in parenting: judging other people’s parenting skills, whether it’s breastfeeding or diet or even how you style a child’s hair. Do I hate the “mothers judging mothers” thing? Yep. Do I think Gwyneth is absolutely full of it because she will judge you and anyone else with one upturned nose? Yep.
Shortly after giving birth to her son Moses in April 2006, Gwyneth Paltrow suffered from postpartum depression.
“I couldn’t connect with my son the way that I had with my daughter [Apple, now 7] and I couldn’t understand why,” she said on Thursday’s premiere episode of Lifetime’s The Conversation With Amanda de Cadenet. “I couldn’t connect to anyone. I felt like a zombie. I felt very detached.”
Paltrow, 39, continued: “I just didn’t know what was wrong with me. I couldn’t figure it out. It never occurred to me. My husband [Chris Martin, 35] actually said, ‘Something’s wrong. I think you have postnatal depression.’ I was mortified. ‘No I don’t!’ And then I started researching what it was and the symptoms and I was like, ‘Oh, yes I do.’”
Paltrow isn’t alone. Brooke Shields, Courteney Cox, Bryce Dallas Howard and Amanda Peet are just a handful of celebrities who’ve experienced similar symptoms, and as many as one in five women in the United States will suffer from postpartum depression.
“We think that it makes us bad mothers or we didn’t do it right, but it’s like, we’re all in this together,” Paltrow said. “I never understand why mothers judge other mothers, like, ‘What do you mean you didn’t breastfeed? What do you mean you didn’t do this?’ It’s like, ‘Can’t we all just be on each other’s side?’ It’s so hard anyway. Can’t we all help each other get through it? There’s a shame attached to it because if you say, ‘I had a baby and I couldn’t connect to the baby,’ it’s like, ‘What is wrong with you?’”
Though the Country Strong actress believes “you never totally get rid of it,” being open about her struggle with postpartum depression made it easier to cope.
“That’s why I talk about it, because even the awareness of it started to diminish it,” Paltrow explained. “Because I didn’t feel like I’m dying or I’m crazy — period. It’s like, ‘Oh, this is a thing. This is a real thing and these are the symptoms and I have them all.’”
[From Us Weekly]
I’m partly taking Gwyneth as face value – I think she means what she says about not wanting to judge or be judged about mothering choices. She means it in the moment, and that moment is right. But when she returns to her normal Goopy self, she will continue to judge you for feeding your children anything but organic food. She will judge you for not doing three postpartum juice-cleanses. She will judge you for not working out after you had the baby. What Goop is really saying that is that YOU shouldn’t judge HER.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
Written by Kaiser
Posted in Gwyneth Paltrow
- The Blemish interviews Carmen Electra [The Blemish]
- Rumer Willis joins Pretty Little Liars [Lainey Gossip]
- Morgan Freeman falls asleep during interview [D-Listed]
- Fug or fab: Isla Fisher [Go Fug Yourself]
- Tamra Barney confirms spinoff [Reality Tea]
- Movie franchises that rebounded [Pajiba]
- Why Dylan McKay is the perfect boyfriend [Buzzfeed]
- Saoirse Ronan could have been a Lohan [Evil Beet]
- GIFs from Cannes [Popsugar]
- Cat massages a dog [CDAN]
- Heather Graham is so pretty [Celebslam]
- What is Lucy Hale wearing? [Moe Jackson]
whoa, she has zero self awareness. one of the most judgmental people out there, and she’s not willing to be judged herself?
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I know, right? She is Queen of Hypocrisy.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
lol this just makes me laugh cause she’s so full of bs
Report this comment as spam or abuse
yeah, you’d think she wouldn’t be, with all those cleansers she uses. ha!
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Ah, Gwen…. it must be nice leaving inside your bubble world…. -_-
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I can’t be the only person who thinks of an iPad when her daughter, Apple, is mentioned.
For that alone, I will judge you for eternity, Fishsticks.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Apple, Bronx and Bear. Worst. Names. Ever.
yet these people dont see how tragically pretentious these names are and how utterly stupid they sound. Guys, they dont sound “cool” and “fresh”…they just sound dumb.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I thought the exact same thing without reading the article, LOL!
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I can’t disagree with anything she says in this. And yes I think she’s an obnoxious snob. But the ‘Mom Police’ are the worst sort of bully out there.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
YES! you are so right.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
She uses “like” a lot. A bit annoying.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Its a white girl thing
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Also she’s from L.A.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Like, seriously? Are you like, kidding me?
‘It is a WHITE GIRL THING’ ???
Like, WTF?
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I could agree this with this, if it was said by someone else, because she always judges everything and everyone.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
While her comments are spot on, the source is questionable. Gwynnie just wants to corner the market on the judgmental snootiness.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Agree!
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Your conclusion matched mine: – she does not want anyone else to judge her.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
And, someone said something that really touched a nerve. I think maybe she had a rare flash of insight and realized what people say about her is true. So now she’s gonna be all “kumbaya” so she STILL won’t have to face the truth about herself. She sucks.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
While she is a massive douche, can we not just cut her some slack for making sense on the issue? The most judgemental people out there are other mothers, they are your standard bully, so engulfed by their own insecurities of getting it right that they can’t help but tear down anyone who seems to be struggling.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
this might mean something if it weren’t coming from such a judgy bear.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I’ll never understand those celebrities who judge peons for not doing $500 colon cleanses and eating quinoa while wearing cashmere socks hand crafted from a skinned Yeti pelt.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
the yeti pelt really made me laugh. haha
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I’ve dealt with both postpartum depression and massive judgement from other mothers…it is absolutely no fun. It is such a sore spot and a really low blow IMO. And I’ve fought back for making the important decisions for my son and our own unique situation. But I agree with the other posters on this…the source makes it seem laughable.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
She makes a good point, and managed to do it without saying “Beyonce” or “Jay-Z”. Goop gets a gold star for today, but it will be taken away as soon as she gets judgmental about something else.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
ha ha she’s extremely judgemental, but hasn’t mothers judging other mothers been going on for a long while, it’s not a new trend it is? It seems people are more upfront with it nowadays instead of doing it behind closed doors. While I have no kids, my friends do and you should hear some of the things they say about each other’s mothering.. but then again, maybe I just need new friends..
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Marie, I don’t have kids either. Many of the mothers I know love to talk about other people’s parenting skills and kids. I think that is just what people do and have done for a long time. Heck, I have joined in a couple of times. I think it is just normal human behavior.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
you never got the side-eye coupled with the “you’re not a parent, so you wouldn’t know”? that seems to be a favorite phrase when I don’t agree with what they’re saying..
Report this comment as spam or abuse
No kids here as well and I agree. The truth is, I really can’t hang out with groups of mothers for very long because I have no interest in the parenting gossip.
I also remember my mom and her friends talking about other mothers the same way.
I think it’s just part of being a parent.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
There is a beautiful scene in the movie “Switch Up”(?) with Jason Bateman and Ryan Reynolds. They are at a play date centre and Reynolds explains “If your child misbehaves, its because he is tired or going through a stage. If someone else’s child misbehaves, its because of a character flaw or bad parenting”. Loved it.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Pot calling the kettle black.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Maybe this is harsh given the subject matter…no my 1st thought still stands.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I find this hysterical, I mean, by saying this isn’t she judging the judgy mothers, and in the processes not only being judgmental, but, transitively, berating herself? lol!
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I suffered from postnatal depression…I had no idea until I read about years later. I’m lucky I came through it but it was really really awful. I had no family or friends around and knew no one with a new born…so I appreciate her bringing awareness to the issue. BUT – I’m confused…is she indicating she still suffers from depression…I found what she was trying to say confusing. Oh – and you know she is the biggest judgmental bitch out there. Please.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Ironic, Gwennie, really ironic.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Dear Pot,
Paradox!
Love, Kettle.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
As a mom, I agree whole-heartedly with her statement, but some people have mommyjudgementitis, and you just can’t escape it.
Does she really feel herself unfairly judged?
Is this just a moment of overshare to service a p.r. demand to bring traffic to her website & blog, or is she speaking on my (and the rest of motherkind’s) behalf to foster understanding and tolerance? Could it be both? I’d like to give the benefit of the doubt here, but why does everything she say feel so self-serving?
I can only assume she is a wonderful, caring, involved mother.
However, if you are someone who offers up life-advice in a public forum, then you are implicitly declaring yourself as an authority on the topic, and therefore your opinions are subject to scrutiny, in service of balanced coverage.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I miss the word ‘judgemental’. When did ‘judgy’ become so popular?
Report this comment as spam or abuse
People judge other people? THIS WILL NOT STAND!
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Absolutely agree with what she has said. And to be fair, she doesn’t really judge. She just holds herself to be the ideal and offers tips on how other’s can be perfect like her. I think that’s more narcasism that being judgemental?
Report this comment as spam or abuse
+1
agree word for word!
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I agree too. You can call her narcissitic, not necessarily judgmental.
She has a lifestyle blog, which means what is says, blogging about the celebrity life and whatever is the trend in her “crowd”. We are reading this blog, therefore we are all guilty about “peeking” into the lives of celebs. She has her fan base who she caters to.
I don’t think she is ever judgemental. It’s not her fault if some readers take it personally that they can’t provide organic food for their kids and go for colonics, or shop at net-a-porter. She is just stating what she does. If you don’t like what she is blogging about, please don’t read it! If you have a friend who annoys you, would you call her?
I don’t judge her marriage either. Don’t tell me no one here has gone through rough patches and sorted it out privately. In my lifetime I have seen all sorts of marriage compromise and permutations that keep the peace. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Comments like.. what was it again? She’d rather die than feed her kids cup-a-soup? That’s seriously judgemental even if she doesn’t explicitly word it that way.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
yes, the cup-o-soup comment, and all mothers can work out 2 hours a day if they just make it happen, mothers should stay at home for their kids, actresses that are mothers should never film back to back, to make marriage work you have to be a wife first, people that drive suvs support terrorism, people that talk about work or clothing during dinner are obnoxious bores, women should only get drunk in private, another boring rom-com reese? her list goes on and on and on. as always, do as she says, not as she does.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I don’t think judgmental mothers, grandmothers and such are a new thing at all. I think it has been going on FOR EVER. They just didn’t have BetterMomThanYou.com to air it in times past.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
How can she say something so reasonable and yet manage to sound sanctimonious while doing it?
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Okay, so she doesn’t believe in judging other mothers’ PARENTING abilities. But I remember a couple of years ago when she gloated in some interview about how amazing it is that she, a 38-year-old mother of two, can wear short shorts thanks to hours of exercise and weeks of cleansing/dieting. There was so much judgment implied in that statement: as though every other mother out there should not only stand in awe of Gwyneth’s drive and dedication, but they should also feel bad for not putting the same effort into being able to do the same (because, of course, being able to wear short shorts is every woman’s number one priority). I haven’t been able to stand the sound (or the thought of the sound) of her voice since then!
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Right on, Gwynnie. Many suburbia moms are insufferable. I hear all the judgmental remarks behind others’ backs, and I am sure I am judged — all over nothing stuff. Sure if someone is leaving their three-year-old out in the front yard unsupervised I would step in and also judge, but the boring obsessiveness with gossip in suburbia by women over children and/or just their neighbors period sometimes makes me realize why men cheat and become bored by their uninteresting wives.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I couldn’t agree with you more. But I will say I do have a problen with Gwenyth “Judgy Mouth” Paltrow making this statement.
You are correct about suburban moms though and how insufferable they are. If you don’t do things their way YOU’RE WRONG. But different people have different parenting styles and different needs. As long as their children’s needs are lovingly met then I don’t see the problem.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
This is really one of those cases where Gwenyth is right. Because it’s coming from her, I can’t take her seriously.
All in all, we are all entitled to our opinions and we’re all entitled to take different routes when it comes to parenting. Just because something worked for Goopy doesn’t mean it will work for us lowly peons. I’ll stop judging her when she stops making judgy statements and tells me how to live my life.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I caught so much flack for not breast feeding. I think it is partially a cultural thing.
And my kids are just as healthy and performing as well in school as the kids of the moms who lectured me back in the day…
Report this comment as spam or abuse
My sister in law didn’t breast feed because she really wanted to smoke and drink again. I don’t feel judgmental in thinking that was a bit selfish. Every woman should make her own choice for breastfeeding, but I don’t think I would admit that smoking/drinking is the reason! ;o)
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Many times a lack of omega 3 fatty acids can be attributed to postpartum depression. The baby robs your body of omega 3′s to form. And if you don’t replenish them, this is what can happen. Many times regular depression can be cured or at lease helped through omega 3 supplementation. Disclaimer, I am not saying every case is caused by this. But research shows it can be a common factor.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Doesn’t she judge other mothers frequently and make negative comments about working moms? Cannot stand her.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
So true about GP. I will say that Moms judging other Moms happens all of the time, and I’m so sick of it. I have been in some idiotic Moms groups where all of the moms criticize what the other is doing. I’ve even had a nurse in a new moms group ask me if my bottle was filled with breast milk or formula. What business is it of hers??? When a woman has just had a baby, people should support her in her efforts to keep her kid healthy and happy. That is why we’re busting our chops to get to these groups. We’re looking for support and maybe to feel better when another Mom is just as frustrated.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
isn’t she the one that said she would die before letting her kids eat cup a soup.
god, she annoys me to no end.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
well, no one understands your face in our business either Gwennie!
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Check out the Beyonce post and read the flame war that became the comments section after finding out the Bey only breastfed for 10 weeks. Mothers are jjudgmental even if u think that Goop is full of sh*t.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Isn’t she the judgmental snob who said she’d rather give her kids crack than cheese from a can?
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Even a broken clock is right twice a day — this is Gwennie’s broken clock moment. So, even though she comes off as extremely judgmental in most things, she is right about this. People are way too hard & judgmental of mothers. Being a mother is hard, demanding work that rarely gets the credit it deserves. It is the *one* thing that *only* a woman can do & we’re still told, from a million different sources in a million different ways, that we aren’t doing it right & made to feel guilty about how we are doing it. It is a bunch of BS & needs to stop. People (both men & women, mothers and non-mothers) need to stop judging mothers & be supportive & respectful of them. When even Gwennie “gets it,” there is no excuse for anyone else not getting it.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I think that Gwynneth is right and I appreciate her bringing attention to the issue. There IS a lot of shame and lack of understanding about PPD. I think what she meant about “you never totally get rid of it” is that PPD can often be the precursor for one or several more episodes of depression- or that even after it’s over, you’re always afraid of it coming back. I empathize, regardless of other assy things she’s said.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I heard an interview a few months ago with Gwenyth and she was talking about how she chooses to work very little now she has children. She basically said mums should stay at home with their kids otherwise the child is missing out. She can afford to say that since she can afford to not work. Way to put guilt on us mums who have to work. She seems to have zero idea that most mums can’t simply quit their jobs or ‘choose’ to not work, much as we may love to. She is so in her own little goopy world she has no idea that the working mums she judges are her audience. I won’t be using any of my working mum money on her cleanses, cookbooks or movies.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Really don’t care about Goopy the person.
Now, Pepper Potts in The Avengers? LOVED HER (actually, loved everything in that movie — watching it once wasn’t enough…I MUST watch it again, and again, and again).
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Goop always rubs me wrong.
… And yet here we are making judgements about a bunch of people we’ve never met. Just sayin.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Thanks Kaiser. This nailed it. That’s why we love ya.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
*sigh* I didn’t think anything could make me like this pretentious chick, but this interview gets close. Even if she didn’t mean it, hell, someone had to say it. The mom police are the worst, and they used to drive my self-esteem right into the ground. Now I just have fun with them. A mom-police-officer asked me the other day, “Well, you do seem to work a lot, who watches your little one while you’re at work?” (note, I work a normal 40-hour week, and I’m a single mom so it’s not really an option to not work). I was like, “Oh, he’s 4-years-old, he stays by himself. He’s very mature for his age.” The look on her face was priceless – obviously picking up on sarcasm is not her strong suit.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
She’s just playing the role of a mother, I should say attempting because she’s not doing a good job. We all know she has a staff of cooks, nannies and other handlers for her children. Poor kids, I bet they’ll have problems the rest of their lives.
Report this comment as spam or abuse