May 7
'12
Goop told Courtney Love to lose weight: “You are your own advertisement”

Courtney Love has a new piece in Grub Street New York. Thankfully, she’s not discussing Kurt Cobain, drugs, sex or Frances Bean. She is only talking about food… sort of. It’s basically a “Week In The Life” piece on C-Love, focusing only on what she consumes – you can read the full thing here, because I‘m only going to excerpt some of the crazy. There are some gems in the piece – she name-drops Andre Balazs, Michael Stipe, Mario Batali, Bono and of course Gwyneth Paltrow. My favorite part is about Gwyneth, of course. I’m assuming that C-Love agreed to do the piece as part of some cross-promotion for her art show – you can see some of her “art” here. Here are some highlights, just random quotes really:

How C-Love wakes up: “Every day I have my house manager, Hershey — who I stole from the Mercer Hotel with André Balazs’s blessing — wake me up with a hot washcloth for my face, a leg rub, and a plate of toast soldiers. Then someone always gets chicken potpie and potato salad from D.D., you know, Dean & Deluca. If I can’t afford D.D., I just don’t eat.”

Paris Hilton always has fresh cake: “One thing from living next to Paris Hilton in L.A. … she always had a fresh cake in her house. So I make sure someone gets a full, fresh new one every day, like marzipan. My house manager tries to put it in the fridge, but I don’t like refrigeration. I know, so Portlandia of me. But I’m sorry, I’m from Portland! That’s what I eat. Every day. And then I need sugar from 4 a.m. to 5 a.m.”

A different way of eating: “I took my soccer-mom/lawyer sister with Michael Stipe and some people from U2 to Babbo, and it changed the way she ate forever. It’s like when a fat, American woman goes to France and she realizes there’s another way to eat. By the way, the only meal I’ve had that’s better than Babbo is Brooklyn Fare. It’s all about Brooklyn Fare, dude.”

She hates chocolate: “I hate chocolate. F–k chocolate. Kurt hated chocolate, too — that was one of the things we had in common. Chocolate makes it all too easy. Oooh. Woww. Chocolate. Oooh. Yum. F–k that. It’s sorta like how I don’t love the Ramones. It’s a flaw. Or, I love Mr. Springsteen as a person, I’m just not a superfan. Everyone lovvves the Boss, but that’s chocolate for me. It’s just, like … no. I’m all about the pineapple upside-down cake and google “crème brûlée circuit.” I coined that s–t.”

Gwyneth basically told her to lose weight: “Sometimes I forget to eat. Right now I’m 125 pounds and five foot, eleven inches, but my “rock weight” was 160. I think I’m a sexy beast at 160, but Gwyneth is the one who told me that if you want to act, and I do want to get back to acting, “You are your own advertisement.””

A diet that works: “I once lost a ton of weight from a fish-sticks-and-lemon-water diet. That’s how I started my own band; I had to lose all that weight first, apparently. Anyway, I love lemon water; it’s the key to life.”

On wine: “I’m not a big drinker, but Bono once gave me a bottle of Pétrus in France. It gets you so stoned in a really opiated way, like you’d just taken a Vicodin. A month later I found out it cost $12K! But before that, I was like, “Dude, they should get that to the junkies!” After that, I bought a subscription to Wine Spectator … but Jesus … that’s like moving to Santa Barbara or Bridgehampton; I’m not that old. Come on, Court! Now I’m not into wine porn at all.”

On being drunk, and boyfriends: “I can count on my fingers and toes how much I’ve been drunk — and that’s always from tequila. If you see me with my top off, blame tequila. I’ve also only had four boyfriends.”

[Via Grub Street]

Gwyneth has a history of telling fat people that they’re horribly and grotesquely fat and she’s disappointed in how FAT they are, like it’s a personal affront to her sense of decency and thinness. I think Gwyneth goes on a juice cleanse every time she chances upon a fat person. Meaning that she’s always cleansing, because people are just so FAT (in Gwyneth’s mind). As for HOW Gwyneth told Courtney to lose weight – that was Goop being delicate, correct? Gwyneth looked Courtney up and down, sizing her up and said coldly, smugly, “You are your own advertisement, darling.” Here’s what kills me, though: I feel like Gwyneth coldly assessed Courtney and decided that the most-needed part of the “makeover” was weight loss. It’s not that Courtney is absolutely crazy, it’s not that Courtney is self-medicating with food, prescription drugs, alcohol, what have you. It’s not that Courtney looks – to put it delicately – like a 50-something junkie who never bathes. In Goop’s mind, the biggest problem was Courtney’s weight.

Here are some photos of Courtney at her art show:

Photos courtesy of WENN, C-Love’s Twitter.

Written by Kaiser

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Posted in Courtney Love, Gwyneth Paltrow


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89 Responses to “Goop told Courtney Love to lose weight: “You are your own advertisement””

  1. Kim says:

    Thats not art – that is Vicodin induced scribbling.

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  2. Asli says:

    Did she just say that she WASN’T a big drinker???!!! Was she more into drugs than alcohol before she became ‘sober’?

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  3. malathyonxx says:

    What the heck are “toast soldiers”? That is one messed up crackhead!!

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  4. velourazure says:

    her name-dropping is so incredibly lame.

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    • Jinx says:

      First picture, Park Bom, this is your future.

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    • MJ says:

      In that crappy Nick Broomfield doc “Kurt and Courtney”, there’s a scene where one of her old roommates from the ’80s pulls out a box of her notebooks and scribbles that he still had in the basement. There’s a list with the heading, “Things to do by the end of this year” or something similar. One of the items was “Meet Michael Stipe.” They were friends by the end of that year. Can’t say she wasn’t motivated.

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  5. OlsenTriplet says:

    I think everything we ever needed to know about Gwyneth Paltrow was summed up in that story about her calling Lenny Kravitz “Leonard.”

    What a moron.

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  6. SirSnarksalot says:

    This woman is grotesque from head to toe, inside and out. From the third person crap, to the name dropping (people and places) to the utter lack of awareness of how effing pretentious it all comes off. Ugh. She must be exhausting to be around. How in the world does anyone work for her (since there would be no reason otherwise to put up with her). And a house manager?! Bitch please. Sending the biggest eyeroll and side eye combo I can muster your way, Court.

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  7. Liv says:

    They took drugs back then and she’s telling us chocolate makes it all too easy!? Cracking me up!! :-D

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  8. Zelda says:

    Does GP have a tan? Wow. Even I won’t get a tan, and I ate jujubes for breakfast this morning.

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  9. claire says:

    Courtney Love needs to do a lot of things, losing weight I wouldn’t imagine to be at the top of the list. More like, get sober.

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  10. fabgrrl says:

    It’s nice to be thin, but I agree, weight seems like the least of this woman’s problems. 5’11 and 160 pounds is hardly “obese and about to die of a heart attack” (although I think she is fudging the numbers there). How about, stop drinking, stop drugging, stop bleaching the crap out of your hair, surround yourself with better friends, adjust your meds, try to heal your relationship with Frances Bean, and THEN worry about ybecoming Hollywood skinny.

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    • daisydoodle says:

      obviously you didn’t read her response correctly, she lovessss lemon water and she makes her minions cook/bake pies, cakes, etc and then doesn’t eat them. Girlfriend needs to put the pills down, she’s not fooling anyone…

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  11. Polkasox says:

    I’m 5’11″ too and I wanna know how the hell she eats pot pie daily and weighs 125. I’m calling BS. I’m in my late 20s, have a good metabolism & weigh much closer to her “rock weight” of 160. No way she eats like that.

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    • Maria says:

      I agree. I’m also 5’11″ (well, 5’10.5″) and at 130 lbs., I had work colleagues asking me if I was okay. At 160 I look pretty good. Low 150s are ideal for me. In the photos above, Courtney doesn’t look 125 (she’s thin, but not that thin; I don’t see a jutting collar bone or ribs). Plus, there’s no way she’s eating cake every day and maintaining 125 lbs.

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    • tripmom says:

      I can totally buy it. It doesn’t matter what I eat, I can’t gain weight to save my life. Not every very slim person has an eating disorder, and not every slim person who says they eat tons of cheeseburgers is lying. Plus, I totally believe that Courtney is not what you’d call a health and fitness nut. If she says she’s eating food that’s really bad for you, well then yeah, that make sense to me.

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    • Becky1 says:

      Yeah-if you’re 125 lbs. and 5’11″ you’d look really underweight. I’m 5’6″ and 125 lbs. and wear a size 4-6. Although I have a little gut people tell me I’m on the slim side of average. Based on those recent photos there’s no way she’s 125 lbs. right now. Weight-wise I think she looks good…slim but not emaciated.

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    • Bette says:

      I don’t believe she’s 5’11″. In other interviews she’s said she’s 5’9″ which is probably closer to the truth. But now that she’s specifically talking about her weight, she’s stretching the height to make it sound like she’s even skinnier, in proportion to being so tall.

      It’s silly, because even being 5’9″ and 160 would not be “fat” at all. Maybe not thin by Hollywood standards, but not fat.

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  12. Lisa says:

    Goopy Poopy said that to her face and survived? Purple heart.

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  13. Dominique says:

    Her figure actually looked rather fabulous at her exhibit, no?

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  14. Happymom says:

    Wow-there are so many jaw dropping nuggets in this interview, and you’re going to go after Gwyneth??!!! I don’t even know where to begin with this whack-a-doo.

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  15. Rhiley says:

    She looks really thin right now but not in a good way. She looks like a ghost of a bluestocking who died in the attic of a library. She looks like she smells of moth balls, cigarettes, and Channel No. 5. I bet she throws her dirty underwear on her bedroom floor and leaves it there until her houseboy picks it up. Poor houseboy.

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  16. mia girl says:

    Well we don’t know if that’s the only advice GOOP had for the mess that is Courtney Love… We only know that’s the advice Love chose to share.

    Regardless, Love is an totally non self-aware asshole, plain and simple. She says “chocolate is too easy” but will talk about being awoken everyday by a House Manager (WTF?) with a hot towel and a leg rub. I say F that. THAT is too easy!

    Also, did she call her sister “fat”?! She despairingly referred to her as soccer mom/lawyer… Which made me think, I wonder if while Love was eating at Baboo, Frances Bean ever fantasized for a soccer mom/ lawyer type mother.

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  17. Gal says:

    Remember when Goopy used “Antony” for Anthony Hopkins.

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  18. Laura says:

    Her comments on chocolate are just too funny, no wonder she’s so screwed up when she expends that much energy just describing her hatred for a food object

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  19. maggiegrace says:

    I know the mother of Billy Joel’s latest wife, and the wife calls/ed him “Bill”. Makes sense.

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  20. TheOriginalKitten says:

    I’m happy Francis Bean is away from this woman. Bitch is just completely batshit crazy.

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  21. Cel says:

    A fish sticks and lemon water diet…oh, the gross images going through my brain!?!
    Court knows goop’s other nickname is fishsticks, right?

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  22. Tee says:

    Ugh! Bur how many GIRL friends has she had?? She neglects to mention…and GOOP is shaped like a 12 year old boy! Why would a woman WANT her advice?

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  23. Jayna says:

    LOL. I have to admit after the same ol same ol celeb interviews about babies, fitness routine, etc, Courtney’s crazy was refreshing.

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  24. ZenB!tch says:

    Why is Poop – I mean Goop talking to that icky Courtney person. I wouldn’t go near it and I’m a fat peasant.

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  25. ZenB!tch says:

    It’s sad how much money Courtney Love has spent on making herself look “attractive” and how it has all failed. She was born ugly on the outside and she remains ugly on the outside and the inside.

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  26. Moi says:

    She thinks that stating that she doesn’t drink much is supposed to be impressive. She is into much stronger vices is all. I will stick with my vino as opposed to heroin and prescription drugs.

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  27. TXCinderella says:

    Goopy Poopy needs to STFU. She is so smug about thinking she knows everything, it just makes you want to kick her ass just for the fun of it.

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  28. lucy2 says:

    God, reading that made my head hurt. It’s the rambling stream of consciousness of a lunatic, with name dropping.

    Yes, that’s Courtney Love’s problem, GOOP. A few extra pounds.

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  29. Jen says:

    Ok, is it just me, or does Courtney look a lot like Suzanne Somers with those glasses on?

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  30. Krock says:

    I always enjoy reading your comments on Goop lol Makes my day when I see a new link pop up :D

    PS: Courtney reminds me of Madonna in these pics. o_0

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  31. Sara says:

    It always seems the opiate addicts don’t really drink. They don’t mix well.

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  32. Turd Fergussen says:

    Gwyneth Paltrow is the most annoying, pretentious c*nt of all time. I will never watch another thing with her in it. She is truly horrible. The End.

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  33. Sweettart says:

    “One thing from living next to Paris Hilton in L.A. … she always had a fresh cake in her house. So I make sure someone gets a full, fresh new one every day, like marzipan.

    I’m trying to understand the relevance of this comment? So is she saying that she used to mooch cake off of Paris Hilton every day? :/

    That whole interview is just . . . odd. I have to think that she was crazier in person than comes across in the article, because you know the writer probably had to tone it down to make it more coherent.

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  34. ryan says:

    As my sassy friend Nick would say, “Bitch, your shoes don’t fit.”

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  35. novaraen says:

    Gwyneth really is an ugly person. Inside and out. To tell bag-o-crack-bones Courtney that she needs to lose weight…what a pretentious tard!

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  36. tripmom says:

    I like how Courtney’s wearing glasses here so you know she’s a SERIOUS artist.

    Although it pains me to say this, Goop’s advice was right on target. She wasn’t giving Courtney advice on how to be a better person, just how to get more acting gigs. And the truth is, you can be a lush and still get hired in Hollywood. You can be a druggie, a cracked out mess, and a total whackadoo and still get hired in Hollywood. But god help you if you’re fat!

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  37. bns says:

    Well, I agree with her on one thing: f-k chocolate.

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  38. Aud says:

    If she can’t afford DD, she doesn’t eat….yet she can afford a house manager.
    House manager?

    WTF planet is this woman living on?

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  39. Vesper says:

    She looks much better (and healthier) in these pics than she has in a very long time.

    Does anyone remember the time she had a makeover for the 1997 Academy Awards? She looked absolutely stunning, for that one night.

    http://yasfx-theevolutionofcourtn.buzznet.com/user/photos/courtney-love-69th-annual-academy/?id=66754641

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  40. NYC_girl says:

    I read that Grub Street piece last week; she’s crazy. And she does mention Kurt- I don’t think she can stop herself. I know it was a big deal when he died, I had just finished college. And, I really liked Hole. But it was almost 20 years ago and the way she drops his name is irritating. Almost as irritating as discussing your “house manager” and being given a hot washcloth upon waking. I can’t believe she was with Ed Norton. She’s a skank.

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  41. Floridaseaturtle says:

    The tragic part is, this is the most lucid I have heard he sound. Sad..really.

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  42. poppy says:

    guys, she’s clean and sober! in an earlier interview this year she said she only takes a handful of physician prescribed medications, one of which is adderall. we can all eat chicken pot pie, cake, toast soldiers, and all day SUGARRRRRRR! AND look like skeletor if we dose up on our adderall.
    she was right about goop the first time they met… wet blanket loser! once she decided to befriend the goop her life went to hell in a hand basket.
    seriously, she is delusional and needs help. same with goop.

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  43. Ally says:

    Remember Courtney yelling to join Madonna & Kurt Loder on the interview podium at an MTV award night, and Madonna being all like, “She’s not coming up here, is she?” Priceless.

    I don’t know how Love is still alive, nor why one of these people would hang out with her. How desperate for friends and dinner guests are Hollywood people, exactly? At least Madonna had standards.

    It must warm Chelsea Handler, Uma Thurman and Salma Hayek’s hearts to know they’re one degree of dating away from this wreck. Yeah, four boyfriends, but how many syringes?

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    • sup says:

      back in early 1994-5 madonna used to emulate clove’s looks. then she quickly changed her mind after finding out how creepy clove is. she said that clove called her on the phone like at 5 am and said stuff about how women should be together and support each other and stuff then she’d take jabs at madonna constantly. she started to imitate madonna’s image many times and back in 2007 she was still into that, even her hair looked the same as her hag-hair. then she started obsessing over britney and other pop stars… thing is, she always emulates some other female star, but she had a madonna obsession even back in her faith no more days. remember her 80′s madonna look? no wonder why madonna was so creeped by her.

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  44. Memphis says:

    I’m more shocked the Goopy would admit in public that she knows C-Love! Doesn’t that tarnish her perfect at all cost image? She must be trying to be edgy this week.

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  45. YoYOBaby says:

    Also, Gwynie told Courtney one time “Once your on the A-List, you’re always A-list.”

    Bet Goopy loves Courtney revealing her sage advice to the world.

    Goopy sounds like a twit.
    Now, I understand why Bey and Goopy are such good friends. Can you imagine the conversations! These two are so full of themselves.

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  46. april says:

    the one pic I am seeing a suzanne somers resembelance.

    and my first thought at that headline was that she needs to take care of a hell of a lot more than losing weight. and her weight isnt even that bad anyway. her interview was too funny, she really just says whatever she wants, even if

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  47. Chell says:

    She’s soooo crazy & insane, that I find it rather entertaining!

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  48. Valleygirl says:

    A few points – Courtney ain’t 5’11. She’s no taller than 5’9″. If I’m not mistaken, when she was on the Howard Stern show years back, she told him she was 5’8″.

    Also – Courtney had Weight Loss Surgery (lap band, I think) a few years back. I know someone who knows someone who’s friends with her (and this someone was interviewed on Courtney’s E! special or Behind the Music or whatever within the last year or 2). So she’s either lying about all this sugar, or she’s vomiting it up.

    And, the only reason I think these celebs deign to hang out with Courtney is that a) she knows a lot of dirt and she ain’t afraid to spill, so they have to be nice to her and b) she’s their drug connection!

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  49. sup says:

    endless mindless drivel. what more could one expect?

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  50. henry says:

    Why are peope so obssesed with other persons weight?

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    • sup says:

      many people are just obsessed with weight in general. not everybody can have gorgeous hair, or a shapely face, but almost everybody can control their weight. and as shallow and looks-oriented as most of these people are, they’ll obsess over others’s looks and weights too, because it constantly runs in their minds.

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