Blind items are a way for the rags to insinuate stuff they assume about the celebrities without getting into trouble by stating it outright. In most cases, like Ted C’s items on E! Online, they’re hard to figure out (probably because you need a translator for Ted-speak), which makes them seem more likely to be true. I mean, if it was obvious who the celebrity was why would they make it a blind item?

The NY Post just uses blind items to make scandalous conclusions about people and they don’t even bother to try to make them hard to figure out. Here are today’s:

WHICH recently separated celeb has a new habit to go along with her new friends? The cutie is spending way too much time in the bathroom of the many clubs she visits, hoovering down cocaine that her pals supply her with . . .
Britney Spears

WHICH hard-partying Hollywood starlet has club cocktail waitresses fueling rumors of rehab by whispering that the actress cuts her coke with strawberry Quik? . . .
Lindsay Lohan

WHICH new pair of best friends are actually more? When they get back to their hotels or homes, the clothes come off.
Britney and Paris. Ooh that’s a stretch.

Am I right? There’s almost no one else they could be talking about.