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I hadn’t visited Gwyneth Paltrow’s GOOP site in more than a month. She’s changed a lot of stuff! I used to try to check in once a week or so, usually to just skim this week’s Goop-letter, but for whatever reason I’ve been avoiding it lately. Oh… I’m looking through the site now… she was on holiday from Goop. For like two whole months!!! She did a Goop-letter on July 1st, but the last Goop-letter before that was dated April 19th! Ah, so that’s why I stopped Gooping. There was nothing to Goop. Because Gwyneth is a terrible blogger. In the hey-day of Goop, she really did strive to put out newsletters every week (with a month holiday in the summer). But this year she’s really fallen behind on her Goop. Is her little novelty project getting boring? She should hire someone to Goop full-time. I think Mindy Kaling would probably want the job – and Mindy would do a better job of it, truly.
Anyway, we got a tip that Goop is now offering actual GOOP CLOTHES. Like, on Gwyneth’s site, there’s now a new category that’s just for “The Goop Collection”. The Goop Collection is pretty meager, but you can actually go on Goop and buy it on-site. So, what’s in “The Goop Collection”? A pair of jeans. And a t-shirt. The cost for the Goop Ensemble? $290 plus shipping and handling. FOR REAL, PEASANTS. For $200-plus you can get your own Goop jeans (see here) – they’re actually a nice-looking pair of jeans – AND you get a nice little note from Goop. Seriously. As for the t-shirt, it’s really fug – go here to see it. It’s a $90 white t-shirt with some ugly black piping on the shoulders and the sides. That’s it. It doesn’t even look flattering ON Goop.
So what does Goop’s $290 outfit say about her? Why haven’t you been paying attention before now? It says “Gwyneth Paltrow is completely out of touch with the peasantry, but she strives to condescend to them as often as possible.” Basically, same old Goop.
PS… I would actually be interested in a cheaper t-shirt that said “To Goop Is To Live” or “GOOP There It Is” or “Goop: Because You’re Not Worth It.” Or “I Gooped and All I Got Was This Dumb $90 T-Shirt.”
Photos courtesy of GOOP, WENN.
Written by Kaiser
Posted in Gwyneth Paltrow
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Yesterday I’ve read on the Daily Mail that the shirt is only available to up size 8 or something.. what a pity for me!
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Yes I read that too. I cannot even comprehend how out of touch with reality she is. It is not bad enough that it is 90 dollars but restricting the sizes. And who are these people who are going to buy these t-shirts anyway? You have to be a pretentious ahole on some level to subscribe to GOOP in the first place.
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The t-shirt is by designer Kain, who only makes 1-size-fits-all t-shirts (which supposedly “comfortably fits sizes 0 to 8″).
Because we are all the same size, right?
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In her bubble world?? Apparently, yes. #Sigh#
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well considering it looks like a cheap (very thin fabric) almost see through shirt, I guess we fatties lucked out
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if she would have sized them the size of her ego it would probably cost a lot more
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yes, OMG olcranky, that’s the first thing I noticed. $90 for a thin, see-through shirt. Wonder if she knows she’s shilling nip shirts to the peasants!
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Look at the jeans sizes, it’s only available up to size 32! Goop does not cater to FAT peasants. There are limits.
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Ugh, typical peasants. Goop is looking out for you. Maybe everyone should lose weight to fit into her shirts, did any peasants think of that? Just buy the $400 cleanse. Sheesh, does she have to do everything for you?
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Not only does she not cater to fat peasants BUT she’s limiting her goop to thin American peasants…
What about Canadian peasants Gwyneth!?!?!
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Inseam only comes in 36″ — wha??
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That’s why she sells the Goop juice cleanses. So we fat asses can fit into the Goop clothes.
Gwyneth- she really does care.
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That t-shirt looks like one of those ones you get free with a magazine, what an indescribable rip off.
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I think the t-shirt is actually kinda cute, but nowhere near worth the price she’s asking.
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I swear, every time I see her face, I hear a flourish of music from the Shakespeare in Love theme song. It started happening back in ’99 when they played it when she won the Oscar and won’t go away. It’s some annoying tic of mine and her face automatically starts up a small record player in my head.
Anyway, if I wanted to look like that, I could just buy some Hanes’ men’s undershirts at Target and take a Sharpie and draw some black lines on the shoulder. And those jeans look like they could give you a bad camel toe.
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lmao. she needs to sit down. forever 21, $10.50.
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But tees from Hanes and Forever 21 don’t come with instructions! “We like to wear ours untucked” has got to be worth $40, right? I never would have thought of it myself. Goop is sooo inspirational!
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LOL
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I just bought a navy blue shirt for $4.99 at F21. Goop is seriously delusional.
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What does goop stand for?
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I checked online dictionary:
A sticky wet viscous substance.
A sludge (rich in organic matter) that accumulates at the bottom of lakes or oceans
A rude or ill-mannered person.
Rhymes with poop.
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GOOP is her initials: Gwyneth Our Overlord Paltrow
Although, I still remember my favorite poem from my youth:
The Goops
by Gillette Burgess
The Goops they lick their fingers
And the Goops they lick their knives:
They spill their broth on the tablecloth
Oh, they lead disgusting lives!
The Goops they talk while eating,
And loud and fast they chew;
And that is why I’m glad that I
Am not a Goop, are you?
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You are awesome! This made me LOL!!
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Doesn’t this woman have enough money? Do we really need a clothing line, too?
In other Goop news , did you all read the CDan 4th of July reveal about her and Chris Martin? It looks like she is as needy as one can be. (I would link, but I don’t think it’s allowed.)
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the reveal is priceless.
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Those reveals were good…I will now look at Goopy as a stage 5 clinger!
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Let’s see…
http://www.crazydaysandnights.net/2012/07/blind-items-revealed_7848.html
I kept it marked after I read it… just to read the comments to it! It is priceless.
ETA: http://www.bohomoth.com/?p=6259
I was left speechless after reading this one. But then laughed like a fool! Because I can sooo picture it.
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Gah, she’s an a$$hole and a hack. How did she get so far being so mediocre? Those illustrations are such a rip off of Daily Candy’s web aesthetic. Truly, when see this woman’s face, I just see a giant bleached rectum.
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And there we have it. Perfectly put.
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haha, perfect description
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this from the one who said GOOP wasn’t a business endeavor for making $$$ but about sharing all of her vast wealth of parisian organic bikini waxing information to make old men in rome enjoy nashville just a little bit more.
ugh. it isn’t even decent crap she’s hawking.
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I will not spend a lot of money for a white t-shirt or shirt. Both get grungy and grey and the armpits get yellow and you have to throw them out. My mother would insist on bleaching and then she’d feign horror that I don’t have Clorox in my apartment. I’d rather spend $90 on a sweater. I won’t spend $200 on jeans either. I’m sure they fit great (?) but I just bought 2 pairs of Levi’s and they were less than $50. My butt looks good and unlike the stupid pair of 7′s I got 5 years ago in a moment of insanity, no muffin-top. I WILL spend more money on clothing made in the US, but not that much for her t-shirt.
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Did you get 7s or seven for all mankind?
Different brands. I don’t like MiH jeans that much, but I do admit to having about 175 pairs of designer jeans. 😱 I never buy at full price though, not one pair.
I wear them daily and I have a variety of sizes, so I give her a pass there. The shirt, no way.
Loved her BI!!!
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@Tiff – 7 For All Mankind. I thought they were the same? I guess I’m really out of touch!
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7′s were a rip off. They draw people in thinking they are getting 7FAM when they aren’t.
If you have muffin top, I’d suggest Paige jeans, bigger in the waist. True Religion and AG have the smallest waists. Sometimes you have to find the brand that fits your body.
I’m telling you, authenticforum.com is great, they sell, they authorize ebay finds so you don’t get fakes and most of my jeans are cheap. I can get 300 dollar pairs for under 50. Paige are 200 and over, but on ebay through AF I can get them as low as 10 bucks!
They look and fit better than Levi’s, at least on me. I tossed my last pair out. Even 7FAM vary widely in fit depending on the cut and wash. They have jeans guides on there that describe all the fits and washes. It’s addictive!
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Yeah, finding a pair that look good is a quest. I’m 5’6″ and around 135-138, most of the jeans I find are too low-rise. I remember when I bought the 7FAM with my friend – she was visiting and we each grabbed about 10 pairs to try on. I took pics of us because we were laughing so hard. We did the “sit-down test” to make sure our cracks weren’t showing. I’m on a tight budget now and I’d really like to find a sexy pair to wear out at night but it’s not easy! I don’t know what’s more impossible, finding a pair of jeans that fit well, or a man!
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NYC-Paige Hidden Hills. Much longer rise without looking mom jean like.
Try some!
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@Tiff – as soon as I’m employed again, I’ll try them!
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Just thought I’d let you know I just picked up a pair of Paige jeans for 30 bucks on the forum.
It’s awesome. No way would I pay full price. Getting some for my girl at the same price!
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Call me crazy but I love my Levi’s. They do amazing things for your butt. I have bought designer jeans before and always end up back in my Levi’s again.
On a side note, is there anything more painful than trying on multiple pairs of jeans to find the right one? Only swimsuit shopping tops the torture. Absolutely no rhyme or reason to the sizing of different brands. Drives me nuts.
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This woman is completely out of touch. First she thinks she can quote Jay Z and Kanye’s song because its the title and they are friends, now she selling extremely overpriced clothes when majority of people are trying to make ends meet. Gwen needs to take several seats
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So true!
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god, this woman is awful. i can’t help but think that if she got laid better/more often, she wouldn’t be quite this terrible.
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Yet another celeb thinking they have styling skills. GOOP is poop.
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In all fairness, the jeans are designed by MiH and the shirt by Kain, and even if they weren’t designed for Goop, 200$ and 90$ is the price they are sold at anywhere else.
She should have chosen more affordable labels, but then again, Goop doesn’t cater to the common of mortals.
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That is ridiculous, overpriced, and unnecessary…so yeah, sounds perfect for Goop.
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If I had 200 $ to spend on a pair of jeans it would be Calvin Klein, Levis, Diesel, Versace… anything but Goop. Celebs are really delusional.
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I agree. If you’re gonna spend that kind of money, buy from designers who actually trained for their expertise.
Many celebrities are surrounded by “yes-men” and buy into their own hype. Because they are famous, they are somehow qualified to be fashion designers, perfumers, healthcare experts, nutritionists, and personal trainers.
I can’t roll my eyes enough.
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I have seen her mom Blythe Danner in interviews, she seems down to earth and smart, what happened to Gwen?
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Yeah, it is hard for me to dislike Blythe Danner. I love her on Will and Grace and in the Focker movies.
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Blythe is really likeable.
Gwynnie’s dad was Dr. Frankenstein. He nurtured her delusions of grandeur. He once praised her as being Grace Kelly and Audrey Hepburn rolled into one. Insufferable.
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Look, there is a reason why Blythe Danners own mother detested her………who hates their own Grandchild?? makes you wonder…..I think we can all see why a grandmother might think the little whipersnapper is an arrogant, smart as$, rude, condescending , biotch……..Gwin hated her back so much she called her a C, U, next tues on Chelsea lately……..it made her look even more ugly than she already is…….look up “gabe” on video gum. her writes screamingly hilarious essays on Goopy……
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Well, I’ve been getting newsletters on my e-mail every week, for the last two months also.
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After seeing these prices, I realize I don’t even rank as high as “peasant” on the Goop scale. It gives me serf-level sads.
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+1
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I just realized she uses “goop” as a verb. Planning a trip to DC with a most dear wonderful blessed beautiful gifted generous friend to relish the bright spring smells of the fresh Cherry Blossoms, Goop writes, “so we gooped it.” I think I am going to start using goop as verb as well, as in, “My stomach is feeling rather bloated and crampy. I think I have to goop.”
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So, she helped design an overpriced t-shirt. What staggering talent.
I’ve read this saying many times and it bears repeating:
Gwyneth was born on 3rd base but thinks she hit a home run.
She wouldn’t be where she is now without her parents and family connections (‘godfather’ Steven Spielberg). She should sell her own perfume and call it Sweet Nepotism.
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Love
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lmao @ goop there it is
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The perfect pair of jeans is worth 200, I have several that are originally 180 – 240 ish. BUT I always get them on sale. Or at Nordstrom Rack or Nordstrom marked down, Last Call, or just regular dept stores marked down, never full price.
I have cheaper ones too, Gap, f21, Silver, Express and Silver is on my better cheaper brands but the ones that don’t give me muffin top, stretch out, or fade ? My premium denim.
If I could find a white tshirt, that wasn’t see through, that lasted through more than 10 washes and didn’t stretch out .. and fitted perfectly — it might be worth 90. But I have yet to find such a T.
The ultimate perfect white T is really the holy grail in fashion land.
I have tried many many .. all stores, all brands, shapes, sizes, gauges, and these days they make them so cheap it’s pretty pointless!
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Ahhhhh, I just love her, she’s so normal and down to earth, just like the rest of us.
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I like Gwyneth Paltrow, love to hear her sing, watch most of her movies and subscribe to GOOP. I would certainly be considered a peasant, can’t afford even her “affordable” offerings, but don’t care. I think she is a blessing amongst celebrities, actually. Though she comes across as pretentious and snotty, that is perspective and opinion, which all of you are entitled to. However, I have always admired her for growing up into a decent woman, even if she is an actress living the life of a celebrity. She has all the trappings that would make someone appear out of touch with the masses; acting career, famous family, money, famous friends etc. Yet I can’t really dislike someone who wants to be seen as clean-living (drug free), loves her family, loves to cook and entertain, has high standards (and can afford them) for the products she purchases and blogs about it. Personally, in my little world of small town suburbia, I know a lot of women who could be described in the same way (without the career), and do not think ill of them.
I am just here as a small voice in a sea of discontent, willing to defend this particular celebrity. I will take her ANY DAY OF THE CENTURY over Jessica Alba, who seems to want to be GP 2.0. I can’t think of one redeeming talent or film or anything that JA has achieved that would make me feel she has earned my respect as a celebrity mouthpiece for anything.
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Hi Gwin!
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Obviously either “GwINNN!!!” monitoring or a paid mouthpiece….it was widely reported that “GwINN!!!” was infuritated that Jessica Alba dared to want to sell organic baby items. How dare she!!
You can brown nose Goop all you want but the fact of the matter is Miss. Nepotism doesnt own the free market lock, stock and barell. Jessica Alba can shill anything she likes…but the same screwed up thinking Martha Stewart can claim Goop is honing in on what she already has covered so get over yourself. In my opinion Id rather buy stuff from Jessica Alba as she is more likeable and less pretentcious and that makes her a more credible spokesperson.
Goop is the clueless nitwit in the playground whom everyone gives the sideeye but who is convinced were all”just jealous.” Is this a role model of a spokesperson???
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It was widely reported but it was also obviously not true because Goop had one whole newsletter dedicated to Jessica Alba and her bussiness.
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The price is ridiculous I don’t think anyone would spend 90 dollars for a tshirt! If you do spend that much, you might just be dellusional.
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PS-your ideas for the t-shirts.
hahahahahahahahahahaha so funny.
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don’tcha just love her ‘i am bet-ter than yooou’ smile?
and by love i mean wanna smack it off her goop-oopy-doop face.
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Excellent bw annaloo and others; and I would and Minty to the list political savants, moral philosophers, global warming specialists, economists, my God with all the flunkeys these celebutards surround themselves with there is no subject they won’t blab about and believe in their own delusional minds that they are world class experts and the first humans on the face of the planet that confronted the issue/problem.
Minty thanks for the info i didn’t realize that Spielberg is the goopster’s godfather. Wall street nepotism meet hollywood nepotism.
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I remember when her and Winona Ryder were BFF’s and how she stole the script to shakespear in love from Winona.
Sneaky uptight b*tch.
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And her mother looked so embarrassed when Gwynnie won (read:stole) the Oscar.
Her whole face screamed “Get a grip, dear and stop embarrassing yourself!”.
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Haha! I just went on youtube to see the video.
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Whaaaat???? Us, peasants, can’t afford $200 jeans or a stupid $90 shirt. Get a grip, Goop. You’re so out of touch with reality. If I want a simple t-shirt, I hit up F21 or Fashion Q, lol.
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Goopy looks like Claire Danes in that first pic. Poor Claire, she doesn’t deserve that. I’ve never seen Gwynnie smile like that before, though. She must have run over a poor person on her way over. She looks positively gleeful.
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$290.00 is too much for a pair of goop jeans and a goop white t-shirt. much better brands for less out there.
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A mere, a PALTRY $90 for a t-shirt? “The Conspicuous Consumption $hirt” (note spelling) tops that by $10 or so! AND gets the main message across better, imho.
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I can’t afford her shitty clothes nor can I fit into them (the average American woman is a size 12, not a 0-8). What a pretentious beeyatch!
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LMFAO if you order a size larger than a size 2, does the personal note include a comment to “get yourself together, fatty”?
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I would think that peasants like us can goop some of her collection for free, afterall she is filthy rich, have it all and is so aristocratic.
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