Has it really come to this? We’ve heard that Demi Moore’s daughters are avoiding her, that they’ve shut her out without responding to her at all, and that she hasn’t gotten the hint and has been calling and texting them constantly. Both US Weekly and Radar Online have been running these stories, and while it’s possible US picked it up from Radar, they claimed to have a source. Supposedly Demi and her three daughters have been estranged since the youngest, Tallulah, 18, graduated from high school last month. The girls are said to have had a huge argument with Demi, who sat by herself and left the graduation before Tallulah received her diploma.
Supposedly it’s gotten so bad with Demi begging them to contact her that her daughters are considering taking out a restraining order to prevent her from contacting them further. We’ve also heard that they don’t think their mom is sober after her recent stint in rehab earlier this year. So there’s probably some complicated family sh*t going on. Here’s the story from Radar, and I’m excerpting two stories here as they have a follow-up in which they claim Demi “constantly attacks the girls for staying friends with Ashton.”
“Rumer, Scout and Tallulah are seriously considering taking out a restraining order against Demi to stop her from contacting them,” a source close to the family tells RadarOnline.com. “They made it clear to her weeks ago that they do not want to talk to her right now but she is still trying to contact them.
“Demi has been calling them incessantly and emailing them, leaving them tearful messages and begging them to call her and the girls are sick of it. It is a really drastic measure and not something they are considering lightly but they just feel like they want some peace and quiet.”
As RadarOnline.com previously reported, Moore, 49, is distraught over losing contact with her three daughters.
“Demi is beside herself over the situation,” a source previously told RadarOnline.com. “She hasn’t spoken to Scout, Rumer or Tallulah for weeks now, they won’t return any of her calls, emails or texts.
“The girls have cut off all contact with Demi, and she is absolutely devastated by it. She has returned to work and is trying to hold herself together, but this is a really tough time for Demi.”
The Willis girls wouldn’t be the first celebrity spawn to legally stop a troubled parent from contacting them. Francis Bean Cobain was granted a restraining order against her mother, Courtney Love in 2009.
However, it may not be that simple for the Willis girls if they do decide to try to take out a restraining order against their mother. A legal expert tells Radar they will have to prove more than just annoying phone calls: “You can’t get a restraining order against your mom when she’s trying to call you. If that were the case, many, many more people would all be in court!!”
“Ashton cheating on Demi humiliated her, and when she got out of the relationship she thought she was setting a good example for her daughters, so when they stayed close to Ashton it devastated her….
However, Ashton has remained active in the lives of all of his step-daughters, attending concerts that they’ve performed in and supporting them through their mother’s substance abuse troubles, and this has caused Demi to become enraged with her daughters.
“She doesn’t understand how they could stay close with Ashton after he humiliated her and she’s asked them to stop talking with him but they refuse,” the friend said.
“Demi can’t let that go and can’t get over it, so she constantly attacks the girls for staying friends with Ashton. They’ve had it with her over that.”
[From two stories on Radar Online]
That’s harsh, and it makes me wonder whether one of the girls is leaking this news in order to put Demi on notice. If it’s so bad that they’re considering a restraining order, maybe they think it’s somehow gentler to give the tabloids a heads up so Demi will hear about it. If they get a restraining order it becomes People Magazine level news, and that’s truly humiliating.
So what’s going on with Demi? Is she still addicted to whatever prescription drugs she’s probably on (watch this video and tell me she’s sober. That was pre-rehab though) and is that contributing to how miserable and needy she is? Did she see Ashton once a week for counseling and spend the night with him last month and is that making this worse for her? (The Enquirer claimed that was the case, but it sounds like wishful thinking on her part.) This is a woman who has not come to terms with the end of her marriage and the current state of her career, to put it lightly. It seems like her kids have taken sides, and she’s not having it and making it much worse than it needs to be.
Demi is shown on 1-24 and 1-15-12. There are few recent photos of her, she’s been hiding out despite starting work on a new film in NY. Credit: Andrew Evans / PR Photos, FameFlynet
Getting a restraining order seems harsh. Your own mother?? Unless she’s trying to killing me, or bringing a reaaaaaaally bad influence in my life or our family, is there no other better way??? Like changing your number and giving it only to a limited-trusted people, or move your house to other city??
I totally agree with you Rhea. Thats why I sort of don’t believe this story or these “sources”. I can’t picture her kids doing that to her. They’ve been close as long as I remember. So either it’s BS story or her kids are cruel. I’d like to think its just a rumor (pun intended) 😉
Agreed. A restraining order for texts. She needs an intervention.
Toxic mothers are the last taboo.
Emotionally toxic and manipulative mothers are the worst. Something that is so taboo we all pretend it doesn’t happen.
Demi had to cut out her own mother in order to get a life. She only returned to nurse her when she was dying. So sad that she is now in the same spiral with her own daughters.
Agreed. I said this in a post last week.
I understand in some situations you may be forced to cut off the contact with your own family in order to have your own life.
But, I still think a restraining order to your own family member should only be done if your life truly in danger.
Her daughter have the access and money to change their number and house easily. They could also make sure only limited trusted people know how and where to reach them. They could even probably make sure they will not bump to each other when going out by steering off places where Demi usually out and about.
Perhaps @Krock is right. This is only a story they leaked out as a big warning for Demi to clean up her mess.
This. My own toxic mother is refusing my kind request to leave me in peace. It’s difficult to know how to handle it, and I admit the thought of a restraining order had flickered through my mind. I really doubt that Demi is truly toxic when she is clean and sober, which is a good thing. I hope they can get this all sorted out for everyone’s sake.
I agree work both sides of the argument, but much like the “grandparents rights laws” not every family relationship is healthy. My mother is a borderline personality and is so horrible… Demi reminds me of her-childish, immature, bring patented by the children, humiliating and probably ruthlessly out for blood behind closed doors. It’s sad.
So true. I had forgotten Demi cutting ties with her own Mom. Wow. Sad situation and a bitter pill.
@Rhea – you can do all that and the mother still doesn’t get it. Or well meaning members of your family, people who can’t accept the situation give her the new numbers/address etc.
Going as far as a restraining order or the suggestion of one, is extreme and demonstates just how toxic this relationship is.
No one takes out such an order against a loved one lightly.
@LAK : “You can do all that and the mother still doesn’t get it. Or well meaning members of your family, people who can’t accept the situation give her the new numbers/address etc.”
True. It won’t be easy. The mother would still trying to contact you, and some people would still trying to to give your new contact to her.
Which is why I said they should ONLY give it to someone they TRULY trust to keep it as a secret from anyone. Limit the number. Those trusted people could be a buffer between you and your mother/anyone else before they could contact you. Kinda like having a manager to filter the people who can contact you. It’s a hassle. But it should work. She would not be able to reach you. I understand for regular people it’s close to impossible to do that and perhaps more easy to get a restraining order, but they have the sources to help them shield away from Demi.
I’m just saying that it seems too early to pull out the restraining order card. But that’s just my opinion. And I have to admit, I do not know them personally to find out if they already tried every possible way to cut off contact and make sure it stays that way.
In any case, you are right. It’s sad for everyone involved. 🙁
@Rhea – there has been the odd report over the past year that the girls were were trying their best to support her and failing and finally starting to pull away from Demi.
My read on this situation is that if they are now thinking of a restraining order, they have gone as far as they can go with other ways of avoiding Demi.
And don’t forget that as much as they are Willis daughters, their parents have bigger sway in Hollywood. Do you want to be the talent manager who tells Demi Moore that she can’t speak to her own daughter? Or maybe she’s taken to harrassing the gatekeepers if she is desparate enough. It happens.
As a child, my father molested me. As an adult, I got an unlisted phone number and shared it with a small circle, including my mother – who was long since divorced from my father.
My mother gave him my unlisted number. When I protested, she could only say, “He *is* your father!”
Now, out of self-protection, neither of them have my phone number.
@LAK :
“Do you want to be the talent manager who tells Demi Moore that she can’t speak to her own daughter?”
—-> I think you misunderstood. I said “kinda” like having a manager to filter the people who can contact you.
Meaning, it doesn’t have to be a real manager who’s being a buffer between them and Demi. It could be Bruce Willis or anyone else who does not look for a career in Hollywood (not everyone has an ambition for that). Or easily harassed by her (as Willis and Demi’s daughters, they must have a contact with people in the same or higher position than their parents to help them).
Yes, I heard that they have been trying to help her. But wasn’t it just around last week (or 2?) they were cutting the contact with their mother? It seems too early for right away upgrading to getting a restraining order, but again that’s just my opinion as an outsider.
Nobody here really knows for sure–between those 1 or 2 weeks after cutting off contact—if it was just an idea from heat of the moment OR they really did try everything and failed before considering a restraining order.
@Kate : I’m so sorry to hear that. As @LAK said before, well meaning members of your family or people who can’t accept the situation would give out the new numbers/address.
This is a situation where a restraining order is definitely a must. I hope you’re in a better situation now and found someone you can trust completely.
+1000
Thank you LAK!
People who don’t have a toxic mother just can’t understand how it can get so bad, so I’ve stopped trying to explain.
I made the break a couple of years ago after years of trying to repair an unrepairable relationship. It was beyond difficult to come to that decision, this is not something anyone does lightly it is truly a last resort.
But my life has so improved since cutting off ties with the toxicity it’s mind boggling.
Despite the hardships this is the best decision I have ever made for my well being.
I feel kinda bolstered that several people on this board have also had to go through this. It IS such a taboo you always think you are the only one in that situation or just about because no one ever talks about it.
Anyways, I don’t know if the tabloid story is true, but it’s sad. These situations always are even if they are a new beginning in the end for all concerned.
I myself have a great mom but I know others who do not. Many people believe that children owe their parents unconditional love – I don’t. While I believe that parents should have unconditional love for their children I just don’t believe you owe your parents for raising you.
I raised my cousin from the age of 12 y/o and people constantly told me, “She should be grateful!” A 12 y/o child should be grateful to be cared for? I believe it’s a child’s right to be cared for.
If a parent causes nothing but negativity in your life I believe you can cut them out of your life if you feel the relationship is unsalvageable. It’s that vicious cycle that is the problem. They not only damage their own children, they potentially damage their children’s children by teaching warped values and beliefs. It is always the very worst of mothers who like to yell from the rooftops how incredible they are.
Oh THANK YOU LAK! And anyone else who said the same. Not all mothers are good and the ones who aren’t cause so much damage. I know from personal experience, and my mother and I don’t have a relationship either. My life has improved a million percent since we stopped speaking, and I hope the Willis girls find happiness. I bet their mother mocks them mercilessly about their looks so they’ll be better off. And they always have each other, and their dad (hopefully). At least they aren’t alone.
I hope you’ve been able to find a caring mother figure in your life because it is such an amazing relationship.
I wonder if she did anything to warrant a restraining order? It seems way harsh, Tai.
f*ck those kids. 😈
Yep.
ha!
Demi might be a mess, but I don’t think she is near to the Courtney Love level (Courtney’s pills killed Frances pet, she nearly put the house on fire, and Frances was a little kid…Jesus that girl is a miracle), I hope this is a way to force Demi to get all the help she needs.
+1 I really think Demi’s got major self esteem issues but she is not a Courtney love level. She has been in an industry were image is everything. So losing her younger man & growing older
Has kind of done her head in. Which is just sad that she has no inner love for her self. Get your shit together girl!
+1
Perfectly said, Aussie girl!!
I think it’s a little sad that her daughters are shutting their mom out like this. I mean she left Hollywood and her career behind to raise them and give them a chance at a “normal” life.. and it wasn’t like she had a struggling career at the time. She was doing well.
She’s always been very well put together and fierce in my eyes. She was a trailblazer in Hollywood at one point. So this douchebag messed her up. It can happen to anyone. She will pick up the pieces in time I am sure.. and it’s not like she’s constantly failing as a mother. She gave them a good life. I do believe that children also owe their parents something.. like taking care of them when they are older. It’s the Asian way. Like a cycle. There’s a joke.. the Asian parents retirement is their children.. that’s why most push them to become very successful.
Anyways, I also know about having a toxic mother. I am completely cut off from mine and will not allow her anywhere near my children. If she ever gets sick and needs me. I will be there for her as a duty as a daughter but that is it. I do feel they are being a bit selfish and self absorbed.. but then who isn’t at their age?
And history repeats itself… What a mess
i cant help but feel for Demi’s side of this. I kinda feel like the girls could have idk waited a bit to make sure their mother was good before running off to kick it with Ashton. I know that cutting him out of their life is illogical, but they could have been more sensitive to what was such a public emotional humiliation for their mother, and just waited a bit more until she was on her feet. However, Demi needs some better friends. She cant be leaning on her daughters for that kind of emotional support. Its just sad all the way around. i kinda feel her pain.
Who’s the parent and who’s the child? The girls are still young.
devil’s advocate here – Ashton was with them through the formative years. That is a hard bond to break if he wasn’t specifically treating their mother badly infront of them ie kept the cheating at the neighbour’s rather than inhouse.
By their own words he was/is their second dad.
How many of us have wonderful step parents who we keep in touch with after the marriage has bitten the dust?
They are not kids. They are old enough to view their various parents as friends and judge accordingly.
It’s been a year, during which time their mother has been in rehab and they have shown her alot of support.And that’s only what we know publicly. HOw many years has all this been going on? You don’t just decide to cut out a parent. It takes YEARS of negative toxic behaviour for anyone to make that decision.
There is nothing worse than trying to be strong in the face of your emotionally manipulative substance abusing parent. In some ways it’s worse than if your parent is a straight forward physical abuser because that is something you can walk away from with visible scars to remind you every day why you made that decision.
“I kinda feel like the girls could have idk waited a bit to make sure their mother was good before running off to kick it with Ashton.”
Exactly Naye. I can understand the kids wanting to continue a relationship with their stepdad, but while their mother is this screwed up you’d think they could put her needs first (they have their whole lives to have a relationship with Ashton, a few months or a year of at least not flaunting the relationship is not life ending). Eventually Demi will have to accept it, but maybe the kids should err on the side of kindness while she’s in such a fragile state.
Who said thet are flaunting the relationship?
It could be that they have a lunch once a month. To someone as unstable as Demi appears to be that would be interpreted in the worst sort of way.
Plus it speaks VOLUMES that they would prefer to be with their cheating step father than their own mother.
It doesn’t make Ashton the better person, but it shows that the relationship is better with him than their own mother.
No one cuts out a parent lightly. It takes YEARS of negative toxic behaviour for that to happen.
Potato Head sure didn’t seem to have a problem with it while her mother was partying at her side…
A restraining order seems extreme and cruel, because it would be a People level story. It isn’t like she’s posing a threat to her girls. Her husband left and now her girls have left her abandoned – substance problems or not – with no family for support.
Lol! Michael K at dlisted calls them The Tater Sisters. Bwaaaah!
I just really do not understand why her daughters still befriend with AK even though clearly their mother is suffering because of it…what kind of daughters are they? I sorta have a feeling that perhaps one of them has a crush on Mr. Douchebag?
If I were Demi, I would just not deal with my daughters at all…as really they’re not loyal to their mother @ all…and maybe go by whoever has a bigger bank account…that’s why I still don’t know if I want children…
Children are not inanimate possessions. They have free will. It’s not a ‘them or us’ argument.
Most people start out loving their parents unconditionally until or unless the parents behave in such a way as to forfeit that love. Parental abuse, whatever form it takes, is extremely damaging and takes years to overcome.
We’ve only known about Demi’s relapse a year. Those girls have probably been taking care of their mother for years until they reached a breaking point.
It says alot that they can forgive their cheating step father rather than their mother.
“It says a lot that they can forgive their cheating stepfather…”
which leads me to believe that there is so much more to the Ashton/cheating thing. Sometimes people do really f–ked up things to deal with really f–ked up situations. Demi strikes me as a narcissist from Hell. I’m not excusing his cheating, but maybe that was they way he dealt. Obviously, the girls don’t hold it against him. That speaks volumes to me, as Demi’s always paraded her (extended) family around as being so perfect. All those years of keeping Bruce close, and even the family foursomes with Ashton and Emma — now no one’s in her corner?
She must’ve done something really messed up to drive everyone away.
Lak,
I’ve read this website forever and never felt the need to comment, until now. Thank you so much for commenting as to how toxic mothers can be. I have a very toxic mother. Very different from Demi, we never talk, but toxic nevertheless. Since leaving home I have all but completely cut her out of my life. My self esteem issues, depression, substance abuse problems and eating disorder were at least exacerbated by her.
When i mention my mother or childhood, I downplay, mischaracterize or joke about it, because I fear judgement. Most ppl do not blame the child for an abusive father, whether sexual, physical or mental. However, ppl act like I’m just being hypersensitive or exaggerating about my mom, and I should go ahead and keep trying.
I didn’t mean to stand on a soapbox here, but I just wanted you know how much it is appreciated.
Point is, as a society we can’t blame a victim of abuse, even if it’s a mother/daughter relationship. It’s not a cat fight, it’s abuse.
@Peanut Butter jelly time – Please know that you are not being hypersensitive,exaggerating etc. The hardest thing is to acknowledge to yourself, let alone other people, that your own mother is being toxic to you. It takes alot of courage to go from that thought to doing something about it such as cutting her out.
I hope that you are better now and moving forward in a positive way. It took me years of therapy to be ok,and to reconstruct my self esteem. Every day that i am away from her is amazing, and i am grateful for friends and the other women in my life that have filled that gap.
It isn’t an easy road, but it gets better. i can promise you that.
I don’t understand those girls, they are friends with that cheating scumbag Kutcher who humiliated their mother.
He either sleeps with them or will soon do it. He’s a pig.
I can’t help but feel bad for Demi I’m sure she’s deranged, I’m sure she’s difficult, and I don’t think she’s a good mother but I still don’t think she deserves this.
I don’t either. I think the kids should consult a therapist on the best way to handle Demi, or go to a group for family members of substance abusers. She’s obviously very fragile so she should be handled with great care. I know it’s hard to deal with alcoholics though because they refuse to listen.
Spoiled brats!! Family is family, they should support their mom when she is going through crisis. It can be tough, believe me I know since I grow up with a crazy bipolar mom, but she’s the only mom I got and I love her.
There’s a difference between craziness and cruelty. I am willing to bet that Demi is both crazy AND cruel. Like a Mommie Dearest. They need to get to therapy ASAP to deal with these issues! And by all means, stay away from her!
I’m sorry your mom is bipolar, but I bet she loved you and did the best she could, right? She at least TRIED. Some mothers simply don’t care about anything but themselves, and sometimes ceasing all contact is truly for the best. I only have one mother too, but the reality is that she’s toxic and for my own sanity I have to stay far away. Sometimes you can’t help people, no matter how much you wish you could.
Bipolar is at least understandable in the sense that with the right medication, it can be treated and hopefully your mother’s behaviour is good once medicated.
Bad parents, without the excuse of medical conditions, are unbelievably damaging. Add to that if they are substance abusers…..it is a nightmare.
Unfortunately my mom didn’t care for her children until now when she is sick, lonely, and has nobody else then her kids. I was very angry at her but now I understand that she was sick and uncapable to take care of anyone, let alone herself. I am more angry at social services for not giving us any aid.
She might be crazy but I still love her, and I know that if I don’t take care of her, no one will.
I hear ya Lotta, and you are a good person to do all that for your mother. My mother has all the resources in the world, could go to therapy and get as much help as she could stand, but she refuses. Oh, she’s been to therapy but “they don’t know what they’re talking about”. It took me a year of intensive therapy myself to understand that my mother IS deeply f**ked up, doesn’t want help, and will never change. Sad, but it’s apparently what she wants. And I’d probably take care of her if she needed it….even after everything. Not for her, but for my own peace of mind.
To those of you with good, loving parents: CHERISH THEM. Tell them you love them and are so grateful to have them in your life. You are so, so lucky! It is the worst feeling in the world to know that your parents hate you, or just don’t care at all.
I don’t think anyone would consider getting a restraining order against their own mother is she wasn’t out of control. Maybe this will be Demi’s wake up call to get her sh!t together once and for all.
Ashton Kuchar is a douche for cheating on his wife and coming between Demi and her daughters at such a vulnerable time. I’m sure she’s no picnic but how is this humiliation helping?
If he wanted to end his marriage, he should have done it like a man.
Well, if this is true I say let them and Demi should concentrate on herself. Hopefully she’ll wash her hands of them and focus on her health and sanity.
Do you have kids? They are always the center of your life, no matter how old they are. As a parent, you do have to let go as they mature; however, having your children abandon you, as in this case, is emotionally catastrophic for any parent, even one who is relatively stable emotionally.
This is exactly what could push her over THE edge, and I don’t just mean rehab.
I can’t hate on the Willis kids because not everyone has a good mother. I know a lot of people can’t understand it but sometimes you have to cut a toxic person out of your life, especially if they’re your mother. Who else can hurt you as badly as your mother?
Absolutely.
If they are justified in limiting their contact with their mother they could do it discreetly. Why publicly humiliate Demi?
G- I say this respectfully, but it’s VERY hard to understand unless you’ve been there. They may have to do it this way because toxic people do not respect boundaries and public humiliation is the only thing that works.
I have a mother like Demi and you have to understand that they are NOT like normal people. What seems harsh or wrong to normal people is just business as usual for toxic people. I can only imagine the hell those poor girls have been through. I’d bet my life that Demi is always making horribly cruel comments about their looks, among other things. Poor little rich girls, a mother like that is a living hell and I hope they do escape while they’re young.
Oh Lord that gives me chills because it is so true. I pray every day that my upbringing doesn’t harm my own daughter, yet I know it already has. Directly as a result of me believing I could rely on my mother’s promises.
Siding with the adulterer against their own Mother seems cruel to me.
That’s probably because we don’t know the whole story. I think it says a lot that they’d even consider it.
As a mom I know I would be super pisses if my daughter kept in close contact with a man who cheated on me repeatedly and publicly.
I kind of feel for Demi, sure she’s probably a mess but now would be the time that she needs continued support. It doesn’t make sense; before she went for help 2 of the 3 were still in contact with her, now that she’s been to rehab is when they want to cut her off. So sad. I hope she doesn’t do anything stupid to get their attention.
Her kids seem like straight bitches.
They loved that partying behavior when it suited them. Now they’re kicking their mom while she’s down.
That is messed up.
And this I why kids don’t need a friend, they need a mom. Grow up Demi and get your shit together. You’re fifty and very beautiful. Everyone ages and it not a bad thing. I’d never go back to being twenty five again. With age comes wisdom and maturity and I really hope she can find it.
Well then, they can continue to be best buds with AK and Demi should just forget their asses and work on herself. I know it’s easier said then done, but I hope she does it.
There’s another angle to all of this, which may explain the girls’ behavior right now. It’s been proven that young girls learn how to act/react to men by observing their mothers; when Demi and Bruce divorced, they all stayed very close and friendly with each other. Bruce had a house down the road from Demi in Idaho all those years, just so they could stay close. Is it that big of a leap to consider that when Demi/Ashton broke up, the girls are repeating what their mother already taught them? That even though the relationship is over, doesn’t mean you completely cut that person out of your life? The fact that Demi *needs* them to have no contact with AK is only underlining HER immature behavior, and I can see why they are refusing to bow to her wishes.
None of us really know what went on in there.
Totally agree. No one would have suggested after she divorced Bruce that they pick her or him. So why now after Ashton has been a major part of their life at a young age should they have to surrender their relationship with him? She needs to be the adult and respect that her daughters may want him in their lives still.
Just wrote my comment before yours popped up. Great minds! 🙂
Really? Is this supposed to be some sort of tough love? Bruce has been a decent guy so far (although I know he is preoccupied with a newborn)-he needs to talk to these girls.
Spoiled brats……
Why should the girls have to take sides? I think everyone is rushing to this judgement because AK is not their biological dad. Would everyone recommend the same had it been Bruce? You bet no. He’s been a parent to them since they were little and what happened between him and Demi is between him and Demi. It’s not fair to them to expect them to take sides. And besides, when BW and Demi split, they stayed friends and their daughters saw that; why would do differently with AK?
I feel like a restraining order should be reserved for serious issues–for someone who is stalking, threatening, endangering or otherwise preparing to harm a person.
I mean, it’s hard enough for women in abusive situations to seek and get restraining orders (and get them enforced). As annoying and toxic as Demi no doubt is, and as much as she may be a danger to herself, I doubt the girls are really afraid that she may harm them physically.
I totally support the right of a child to cut off any relationship with a parent if, after giving it attention and love and effort and energy, it seems clear that the parent won’t change and won’t or can’t be decent. But unless the parent is threatening harm, just change your #, move if you can (and these girls have the $ to do that). Make sure all your contact info and public online info is locked down as much as possible, and send a registered letter notifying your parent that you don’t wish to be contacted.
I don’t know if these exist in CA, but I know some states have Anti-Harassment restraining orders. They’re for events like this where a person is causing severe emotional harm but it is not related to domestic/dating violence.
I wish that category existed everywhere! It would be so useful. I volunteered as a court advocate in my county for a few years (basically being a kind of support system for women working through domestic violence issues in the court system). And I cannot even tell you how many times women were unable to prove they needed a restraining order for their violent partners, b/c the language of the law in my state is so specific. You basically have to have a guy explicitly threaten physical harm, and be able to swear that he made a threat like that under oath. Nothing else counted.
But if we had had restraining orders for emotional harassment and stalking, it would have been so incredibly helpful! Because about 7 times out of 10, that would turn into physical harm.
+100000000. For every words you said here.
I don’t understand why everyone is calling these girls brats. They are all old enough to make their own decisions, even if we don’t agree with them. Their mother may not like their decision but she can at least be respectful of it. Demi is being extremely immature about all of this. The girls have set up boundaries and as long as Demi is not sober they don’t want anything to do with her. I really don’t get why some on here are calling them brats, if this situation is as high drama as radar claims and Demi isn’t sober then I think they are doing the best thing for themselves.
Spoiled brats. Why are they taking AK’s side? Demi is their mother, she has addiction problems, but what did she do to them to deserve this?
The answer to that is that Demi MUST have done something or series of things to deserve this. No one cuts off their parent lightly.
Demi herself did it to her own mother for similar reasons.
As LAK said above, DM cut out her own mother and she wasn’t a public figure, embarrassing Demi in public like Demi is doing to her kids. And from personal experience having a mom call and leave unhealthy voice mails and texts every single day is toxic and unbearable. Sometimes you have to make people stop abusing you.
Well what did you expect? The entitled little brats weren’t raised right. Demi has only herself to blame.
Clearly you are lucky not to know or have been raised by a toxic parent. It is not an easy decision.
As for being raised right, sometimes it’s not the obvious person raising the child eg Frances Bean was mostly raised by Kurt’s family even though she spent lots of time with Courtney. Her good bahviour is nonetheless attributed to Courtney even though we all know Courtney is crazy. I guess Frances Bean needing to cut off Courtney is also in the ‘entitled spoilt brat’ column for you.
Demi cut off her own mother in order to get a life. does that make HER an ‘entitled spoilt brat’??
A friend of mine did not invite her mother to either her law school graduation or her (very small) wedding. When I asked her why, she said that her mother had ruined all of her previous graduations, birthdays and every other event by pulling some histrionic stunt that both embarrassed my friend and made the day all about her mother. The details my friend gave were pretty appalling. Her mother was also a nightmare on a daily basis. (I witnessed some of it.) She was dx. borderline personality disorder, was manipulative, vindictive and endlessly needy.
When I read that Demi walked out of her daughter’s h.s. graduation before she got her diploma and was generally obnoxious and disruptive, I thought of my friend. When I saw that it was not just one, but all three of her daughters, cutting off communication with her, it made me think that Demi had probably been a nightmare of a
parent that they were dying to get away from. When you are dealing with someone like that you have to resort to extreme measures to get free of them.
I also wonder if Kucher’s very public cheating, esp. on their anniversary, was
also an extreme measure that he took to get away from someone who just wouldn’t let go. For all we know he may having been trying to amicably end that marriage for several years. Some people just won’t accept no for an answer.
I’ve had people screw me over-publicly-and ‘friends’ of mine will still be friends with them. it hurts! you know this person screwed me over really badly and you’re still friends with them? how am I, one of your friends, supposed to feel about that? are you saying it’s ok for someone to treat me like that?
@Meg – here is a word of advise. everyone has different relationships with all the same people. You can be friends with people who are enemies to each other. One person’s relationship with A is not the same relationship they will have with B.
I know we should all defend each other but what if your quarrel with that ex-friend has nothing to do with your other friends or your other friends see a different side to your perception of what happened.
I am not saying that people shouldn’t support you and or shouldn’t you expect it, but you can’t police other people to be on your side no matter what unless you are paying them to.
You’ve made the decision to remove this person from your life [i hope], so don’t let what the others are doing affect you. Otherwise get other friends rather than letting this consume you.
No, no one is saying that. And I’d be willing to be that her daughters have given her a lot of support. But there comes a time when it’s no longer productive, you’re just enabling the same behavior.
And if I’m mad at someone or decide to cut someone out of my life, I’m not going to tell you what you have to do with that person. Plus, on the practical side, when you set up an ultimatum like that you’d best be prepared to lose.
I just hope that everyone on this board who has never had a negative experience with a parent thanks god every day over and over that their situations are so. My mother was still getting physical with me into my MID-20s (yes. physical.), and while she has “recovered” in some sense and gotten control of her anger in the last decade, there are certain things that she has done to me that I will never be able to forgive, and our relationship is forever fractured because of it. Everyone who is calling these girls “brats” should be happy that they’ve never experienced something as completely soul destroying as a toxic parent.
Ditto. My dad had to pull my mother off me when I was 28.
I commented up thread. I won’t repeat it all, just thank you. You’re not alone.
Sorry, but these girls should be ashamed of themselves. They should stand by their mother, especially if she needs help regardless of what her issues are. Its one thing if she is a “toxic” mother, and quite another for them to be so loyal to AK. What about loyalty to their mother! They should have more respect for her as their mother and a woman than to be friends with a cheating womanizer; I don’t care how much of a presence he was in their lives. Demi may be having issues, but she raised those kids away from Hwood to try to give them a normal life, and all three of them ran to Hwood as soon as they could. And considering they all have faces that only a mother could love, they should keep her close. But if I was Demi, I’d cut all three of them out of the will and tell them to kiss my skinny butt. They WILL need her one day and it would serve them right if she refused to have anything to do with them. They are pathetic, spoiled brats.
Do you know how a toxic mother behaves???
They are generally emotionally manipulative and abusive. They are very much ‘them or us’ type of people. Small things are seen as betrayals. There is never a rational discussion and it’s always all about them, never anyone else.
As for saying she should cut them out of her will to teach them a lesson…..congratulations, THAT is exactly what a toxic mother would say/do to their offspring to keep them in line.
If these girsl are pathetic, spoiled brats then so is Frances Bean – daughter of Courtney who did exactly the same thing.
Um, I read the story above and it seems like Demi is just annoying them and they’ve lost patience with her. I’m sorry you had a toxic parent, but not every situation is like yours. Francis Bean was a minor and there was drug abuse and allegations of killing family pets when she got her restraining order (the order also listed Francis Bean’s dog), so that’s different than having your mother call a lot asking you to contact her. None of us truly know the situation going on or any of these people either way.
@Jordan – No child goes to the extreme of a restraining order just for a few annoying phone calls/emails.
Granted Demi isn’t as crazy as Courtney but it doesn’t negate the fact that her relationship with her daughters is toxic enough for them to consider such a move. She doesn’t need to be as crazy as Courtney to be toxic to her daughters.
It takes years to make the decision to break up with a parent. let alone following through on it.
people are on here calling the Willis girls spoilt brats for their decision as though it is a light decision to make.
Demi cut out her own mother for exactly the same reasons when she was the same age as her own daughters. And yet, here is the cycle continuing….
@Lak, they haven’t gone to that extreme. All it says is that a gossip site is saying that they are possibly, maybe, kinda “considering”. Seems like an easy out for Radar, b/c if nothing happens, they won’t be wrong…guess the girls just decided not to. I’m doubtful b/c the reasons that the site reporting the story give for the restraining order don’t sound like complaints normally given for a restraining order. They are all of adult age and don’t have to live with her so they would have to provide the info in the request if there were abuse, DV, threats, and the like from Demi and if that’s the case, I would hope they do go through with it.
@Jordan – From a PR POV, even the suggestion that the daughters are ‘considering’ such a move is very damaging to Demi.
The fact that HER OWN daughters would allow such a story to be written and NOT shut it down immediately points to a scenerio where their relationship is that broken. It isn’t just the girls wanting to run away from Demi, it is Ashton, Bruce etc
What i was responding to in this post is the stated opinion of several posters that the girls are ‘spoilt brats’ for considering such a move. My take is that it is NOT the action of a spoilt brat to do that to their own parents especially their mothers.
Such actions are only applauded and acceptable if the parents are obvious abusers like Courtney or sexual/physical abuse.
It seems if a parent is emotionally abusive, that is ok. Any objection from the children deems them ‘spoilt brats’
this fragment of a comment from a poster downthread explains the toxic parent dynamic better than i can.
“Having a toxic parent is not like having toxic friend. You don’t feel a little bit of anguish and spend a few sleepless nights worrying and then unfriend them. Your WHOLE PSYCHE and SENSE OF SELF is permanently skewed and fragile and fragmented.”
I have a few thoughts on this.
1) If I had been cheated on by my spouse (my kids’ step-parent), I would sort of…expect, I guess is the right word, my children to fall squarely in my court.
2) If that didn’t happen, I would be deeply hurt. (I don’t know why I would expect my kids to side with me, but I would.)
3) Demi is a MESS. The last thing she needs is to be isolated from anyone and EVERYONE she loves. I understand there are just some people who are inherently unhealthy to be around, but this seems cruel.
4) I’m curious as to how much Asston and his “team” are being paid to leak these stories.
@Originalbellaluna – you make very valid points. I wish feelings were that black and white in cases of divorce or suspected toxic parent homes.
1) What if the cheating wasn’t the worst thing in this scenerio, and what if the cheating happened elsewhere and never at home?
2) Of course you would be hurt if your kids were not in your corner but remember that apart from the cheating, there is no evidence that Ashton was a bad father to these girls. He was in their lives from pre-teen to adulthood. That isn’t a bond that you can put in a ‘them or us’ argument especially if they see him as a loving step father. It would be the same as asking them to side with Bruce or Demi in the original divorce
3) Demi is a MESS. And despite all the help and support she has been given by EVERYONE around her, she is still not hitting rock bottom enough to deal with her issues. Maybe this will shock her into doing so. i see it as the cruel to be kind method given to unrepentant substance abusers who make everyone’s lives hell.
4) If Ashton is leaking these stories, the fact remains that the kids still want to hang with him NOT her. Clearly the kids are ok with these leaks.
And may i add that Demi herself cut her own mother off for substance abuse issues when she was the same age as her daughters. They didn’t reconcile until her mother was dying which was more than 20yrs later.
Clearly she didn’t learn the lesson so that cycle isn’t repeated with her own kids.
We all support Frances Bean for her actions because we see how public Courtney’s actions are. It takes years for children to ‘divorce’ their mothers. What has been going on behind the scenes that we were not party to to cause such a rift. I do not suggest that Demi is on the same level as Courtney, but EVERYONE is running from Demi, not just her kids. She is the common thing between all of them.
LAK – I have experience with a “toxic parent” on Hubs’ side. He cut off all contact with said parent. (There are lots of reasons why, none of which I care to get into at this time.) What we have learnt, since moving, is that said parent does okay in small doses.
Said parent loves the grandbaby, and is able to participate in family gatherings with us (albeit on a limited basis).
I like to think we’re healing the rift.
@Original bellaluna – didn’t mean to come down hard on you. This is unfortunately too close to home for me. small doses are still too much. thank god for my aunts who are my mamas now.
LAK – No worries. 🙂 It’s still very hard for hubs to be around said parent, but he knows parent (let’s call parent “Ashleigh” – ambiguous name) loves the grandbaby.
LOTS of damage was done to hubs and his sibs by “Ashleigh.” LOTS. And due to the lifetime of drug use, “Ashleigh” has some…mental damage.
“Ashleigh” can turn on a dime and start attacking or end up in tears during a rant. It’s anyone’s guess; it’s very stressful; and it takes an enormous amount of energy to attempt to extricate oneself from the situation and/or attempt to turn it around.
I’m relieved to know you have Aunts who helped. Good on them!
Spoiled brats.
Wow, how buggered up this family must be for the kids to want a restraining order against their own Mom! By most accounts, the girls were close to their Mom most of their lives… now this complete disconnect? And odd to hear they’ve remained in continuous touch with Ashton – weren’t there stories galore after the split that the girls wanted nothing to do with him? Confused…. Will we be hearing soon that the girls have moved in with Ashton??
Pull it together Demi… before it’s too late.
If this story is true, I think it indicates that Demi’s substance abuse problem has escalated. It also leads me to think that she may have mental illness as well as the substance abuse problem. I would think it a natural thing for the girls to gravitate to AK as the stable “parent” in their lives. If my assumptions are correct and both problems are present, that would certainly provide motivation for a drastic measure such as a restraining order. If this information about a restraining order is accurate.
OMG, Demi needs to get her shit together and stop acting like a 14-year-old girl. Jesus.
I have realized through the continuing stories about her that she has ZERO self esteem.
Instead of acting like a basket case, she could go to rehab, get a life coach, start working on projects and do some volunteer work. With people who ACTUALLY HAVE PROBLEMS. That might snap her out of this. It would at least get her out of the delusional belief that she is somehow special and the only woman that has been duped and then cheated on.
I don’t blame the daughters for wanting to get her out of their lives while she is being this way. It’s exhausting to try and prop up someone who won’t get help for herself. Plus, there could be other traumatic things Demi did to the girls that we don’t know about.
Demi: GROW UP. BEING YOUNG ISN’T EVERYTHING. HAVE SOME SELF RESPECT.
Sometimes I find what the people post in the comments much more interesting than the actual stories. For those of you who had/have issues with your mothers, more power to you. Having a healthy relationship with a toxic woman is not easy, especially if that woman is your mother.
““You can’t get a restraining order against your mom when she’s trying to call you. If that were the case, many, many more people would all be in court!!””
Yeah, that’s true. You can’t get a restraining order against someone just because they’re a pain in the a$$. She may be annoying them, but I doubt very much that this part of the story is true – that they’re trying to get a restraining order against her. In fact, there’s a lot of this story that doesn’t ring true. If they’re still friendly with Ashton after he cheated on their mother, there’s got to be more to the story. Just sayin…
In some places you actually can get a “No Contact” order against someone who constantly harasses you via phone and/or text and/or showing up at your home and/or place of business. Since the daughters are all living with Bruce, Demi may also be attempting to contact them via Bruce, his wife, household and business staff, etc. She probably has contact info for many of them and there’s also Fed-ex and even U.S. mail that Demi could be sending to Bruce’s address. It is not as simple as the daughters just having to change phone numbers to cut off contact.
The one who cheats is not always the one who destroyed the marriage. Often, it was destroyed long before, and cheating is a desperate lifeline to get the hell out. I don’t know if this was the case with Ashton, but the fact the kids still want a relationship with him makes me think things were a lot more complicated than they seemed at first.
You don’t make your kids choose between you and the other parent. I don’t like Ashton, but he always seems to have had a good relationship with Demi’s daughters, and not in a gross way at all.
Calling someone constantly when they’ve told you to lay off is not okay, no matter how you’re related to the person. Everyone needs boundaries, and it’s quite clear that Demi’s been violating her daughters’.
As for people who berate them for going along with her before: she’s their mother. They’re all young. I’m happy for you that you’ve never had to deal with the pain of a toxic parent, and trying absolutely everything in order to maintain a relationship with them without allowing them to consume you. This woman threw a fit and then walked out of her daughter’s high school graduation. That is not a parent I’d allow in my life either.
If her girls do that to her I hope Demi cuts them out of her will. That is just wrong. She’s put 20 years of nuturing into those girls and they can’t give a little back at a time in her life when she needs love and support?
‘If her girls do that to her I hope Demi cuts them out of her will.’
That is exactly the wording a manipulative controlling parent/person would say to make the child toe the line. The threat of being cut off if you don’t do as i say.
If Demi has threatened them with this line, i hope they take her at her word and walk. No amount of money can compensate for the emotional abuse and being manipulated with money.
It’s a big assumption to make that a parent has nurtured their kids, sad to say. That is especially true when the parent is an addict.
MK said it best: “If this is true, then Rumor, Scout and Tallulah are ice cold and nobody loves cold potatoes.” <-aka, the Tater Sisters
Demi could be the next celebrity death. She seems to be heading that way and it will be the last manipulative act on her part to instill guilt in those that love her. Very sad situation.
My own mother was a manipulative, smothering obsessive mess who was dependant on pills. I totally get what the girls have lived through and deal with with Demi. The way I deal with my mother is I ring her twice a month, sometimes more, because if she has any idea at all that I am mad at her or want to cut her out of my life she goes batshit and off the deep end and calls me 50 times a day. As a parent she was THE WORST. Does she even deserve me to speak to her? No, not at all. However, I now see her as the damaged, pathetic lonely sick woman she is and she holds no power over me. I’d rather be kind and keep a civil relationship than deal with her meltdowns. She has the mind of a child and the addiction of a junkie. I keep her at a very very healthy distance. It was a long hellish road getting my own life out of her grasp. It takes a really strong person to do it. I applaud the girls for trying to do it. Demi will make it as hard as she can. The addict will push you away with their addiction and bad behavior and then say oh, where are you going? Its a push me pull me dynamic and its really toxic. Get away as fast as you can!
Demi NEEDS to GROW UP!!!
why? Because my Lady, at 49, YOU ARE grown up! Grow up!
-respect your body. yes, you’re gorgeous, you are, always have, start EATING to put fat on your bones. Can’t HAVE DAUGHTERS if you’re dead from anorexia, right?
-Act YOUR AGE, not Ashton’s. Ashton is a manchild. he cheated. he’s immature. you’re 49. move past him, and GROW UP!
– GROW UP. Act like a MOTHER, not a DAUGHTER. you’re a mom, act like own and GROW UP!
-rehab is for GROWN UPs with drinking/drugs/n’ other problems. Sounds like you need more help. ACT YOUR AGE, 49, and follow through w/ rehab and after counseling, safe living if need be.
….GROW UP!
Demi’s behaviour seems to be histrionic. She values herself on the basis of her looks and sex appeal and so on, and appears to be so needy that she uses her daughters for emotional support. It should be the other way around, her daughters relying on her for emotional support.
Ok as usual I’m late to the party but whatevs.
I have a mum who has a personality disorder. For those of you saying, ‘These brats” and ‘Grow up’, well what would you know till you’d walked a mile in their shoes?
Having a toxic parent is not like having toxic friend. You don’t feel a little bit of anguish and spend a few sleepless nights worrying and then unfriend them. Your WHOLE PSYCHE and SENSE OF SELF is permanently skewed and fragile and fragmented.
My mum left when I was four and disappeared. She came back when I was 8. She was always depressed and suicidal. I parented her. She had rages that lasted for days.
When I was 12, she held a knife to my throat, and slowly slid it across, leaving a deep cut.
When I was 15, we went on holiday to my grandmas, and after an argument, she left me on the side of the road, 12 hours from home with not a cent in my pocket.
She has kicked, punched, yelled, thrown things, hit, sworn, wished I was dead and told me I was an ugly bitch.
She has told me she wished she had an abortion when she was pregnant with me.
And how does that affect you, as a young girl grappling to come to terms with your identity, your sexuality, your self esteem and your place in the world?
Well, I can only talk for myself. I became a heavy drinker, smoker and drug taker. I was a chronic depressive. I had unprotected sex with countless men. I saw myself as worthless, unloveable and ugly.
Now I am older and wiser, I am starting to unravel it bit by bit and even learn compassion and forgiveness for my mother, who as a child was sexually abused by her own father.
My point ALL THE TIME on this site, There but for the grace of God go I. You never know what someone else has gone through.
@Snowpea – internet hug from across the pond. May you continue to find the inner strength to help you rebuild your life.
There is something about these Demi stories that smells fishy to me. I don’t know why. I’m not buying that it’s true.
I feel tremendous empathy for the people in the comments here, particularly the woman above this comment, for the pain that their mothers have caused. If this Demi story is true then her kids are doing the right thing and I would applaud them.
But I think in Demi’s case this story has been fabricated – maybe it was planted?
If the sisters are spending so much time with Ashton, where are the photos? Have I missed something? Nobody can sneak in/out of his place even at all hours of the night without getting papped. I haven’t seen photos of any of them together post-split. Are they out there?