Mom who smokes pot daily calls out drunk moms: fair or no different?


Last week, Jezebel ran a first person essay from a anonymous mom who regularly smoked pot and had a baby at home she cared for, while high. The mom described how she could focus on her baby and play games with her while high in a way that wasn’t possible after drinking too much. She wrote that she wanted to take the stigma away from marijuana use by parents. It was a funny essay, but this mom’s kid was a baby and her husband was there to pick up the slack. Is she still going to be toking up daily as the kid grows up? It just seemed short-sighted to me.

Yesterday, The Today Show’s blog ran a related story from a 40-something mom to 8 and 6 year-old boys who admitted to smoking pot daily to cope with stress. This mom, who only goes by “Margaret,” went on to call moms who drink too much “pathetic.” It was controversial to say the least, and I really didn’t see how this lady is better or different than moms who drink too much. Here’s part of Today’s story, with more at the source:

Every night, Margaret’s two boys fly into the house after sports practice and flip on the TV, while she races to the kitchen to get dinner cooking. “It’s that tedious witching hour when I feel incredibly frazzled,” says the Tennessee singer/songwriter mom of a 6- and an 8-year-old. But instead of pouring herself a glass or two of merlot, she heads to the standalone garage next to their house for a few puffs of Humboldt Kush, one of the four strains of pot she smokes seven days a week.

The drug helps her keep focus on the giant statue of popsicle sticks she’s building with her kids and relaxes her so she can get through the rest of the night without stressing. “It can make folding a pile of laundry fun,” says Margaret, 45, who asked that we not use her last name for fear of getting in trouble with the law. “If I didn’t smoke, that’d be three piles later in the week.”

Still, she doesn’t flaunt her marijuana use. Her sons aren’t allowed to go into the room where she keeps the drugs locked up, and she hides it from other moms who would keep their kids away if they knew she smoked pot.

“Being judged for doing something nontoxic and totally organic, enjoying a god-given plant, by moms who suck back two bottles of Chardonnay like sports drinks feels like s—,” complains Margaret. “Any hypocrisy is hard to swallow. A drunk mother is pathetic and I often leave parties when I experience other mothers tying one on.”

Margaret isn’t the only pot-smoking mom tired of being judged by moms who religiously drink glasses of wine or “mommy juice.” Recently, one mom stirred up some controversy when she admitted to parenting while stoned in an essay on Jezebel.com. Today, the group Moms for Marijuana International has more than 18,000 likes on Facebook.

“No matter what you use, you shouldn’t be judged if it works for you, you’re productive, and you do no harm,” says Diane Fornbacher, co-vice chair of the Women’s Alliance at NORML, the non-profit lobbying organization working to legalize marijuana. “Marijuana parents aren’t perfect, but they’re far less imperfect than parents who use alcohol irresponsibly. Cannabis can influence people to be nicer to one another. You rarely find a story that says two stoners beat each other up outside of a bar.”

Sharon Letts, a California mom who brewed Cannabis tea for her 16-year-old daughter when she was stricken with pain from fibromyalgia, agrees. “Cannabis takes the edge off your day, in the same way wine does. But it’s not addictive, it is habitual. It doesn’t ruin your body like alcohol. I would much rather see parents using cannabis than alcohol — hands down.”

Of course, pot is illegal and alcohol is legal. Letts and her daughter felt paranoid that the tea’s smell would alert their neighbors. The price for getting caught is high. In some states, moms risk getting arrested and incarcerated, as well as having their kids taken away from them.

“If I wanted to, I could sit with a glass of wine in one hand, a cup of coffee in the other, with a cigarette pressed between my lips, under the influence of prescription narcotics — all the while holding my child in my lap,” says Serra Frank, founding director of Moms for Marijuana and mother of two, ages 9 and 12.

“Everywhere we look our families are bombarded with advertisements for these drugs. Our societies benefit from taxes placed on the manufacture and sale of these drugs. Yet, we can’t make the decision to choose one of the most commonly used drugs, one that has proven to be much safer than all the rest? That’s just not logical.”

Whether a mom chooses wine or pot to take the edge off her day, how she uses the drug is important to consider.

[From The Today Show]

What about being sober around your kid(s)? What about striving to be a good mom by coping with negative feelings instead of blotting them out? Kids who are in grade school totally know when their parents are drunk or high. Kids who are younger than that depend on their parents for basic needs and are getting shafted when their caregivers aren’t all there. I’m not saying that it’s not fine to knock back a few or toke up as a parent, but not every weeknight at the “stressful time” as this mom claims. I do believe that smoking pot is no worse, or better, than drinking. I’m for decriminalization. Different strokes, but why get high all the time and set that example? It’s a slippery slope argument to say “it’s better than the drunk moms.” Maybe it is by some very low standards, but why not focus on your own family and dealing with your own issues without getting blotto? Also, I agree that there’s a huge problem with prescription drug abuse. But again it’s all drugs. Kids need moms who are there for them. This crap should be “recreational,” not daily.

Photo credit: clemes fait, Photocase and Susann Städter, Photocase.

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

345 Responses to “Mom who smokes pot daily calls out drunk moms: fair or no different?”

Comments are Closed

We close comments on older posts to fight comment spam.

  1. Marianne says:

    She might think smoking a joint “relaxes her and keeps her stress free”, but I’m sure moms who drink feel the same way. Either way, it lowers your inhibitions. And however you feel about the drug, it’s illegal in most of the country which means if she gets caught, then she could spend a night in jail or two, and how is that gonna help her kids? If anything they will probably get made fun of in school.

  2. CTgirl says:

    Since they both dull your reaction times and are addictive a high mom is no different than a drunk mom. Like anything else, if used to excess it can be a problem just like getting drunk every day.

    • Rhea says:

      Right on the money. It’s like the pot calling the kettle black.

    • anonimouse8319 says:

      ..how sad that an evening with one’s family requires a dulling agent..

      • Sonia says:

        Exactly what I was thinking anonimouse8319!! Pathetic that your own family is getting the blame for your addictions. (Not you anonimouse, the pitiful mother in this article)
        Not really a stretch to then say “If you weren’t so naughty, Mommy wouldn’t have to do this” and make it the kids fault.

      • NerdMomma says:

        This is SO TRUE!

        For all of the common-sense reasons, I totally support the legalization of marijuana. But let’s not talk about being unable to function as parents without some kind of chemical help- that’s not really helpful to the cause.

    • Audrey says:

      Pot is not physically addictive. If you smoke daily, you get used to doing “normal” things while high. I don’t have kids, but I can’t imagine having them around all day and NOT toking a few.

      • pintaLOL says:

        But pot is psychologically addictive. You DO go through withdrawal when you abruptly stop using it. It’s not full on DTs or anything like that, but is usually characterized by mild depression and moderate anxiety (very acute though!). When one habitually smokes it they can d
        develop “amotivational syndrome” which leads to other issues in life. I know this because I went through it all.

        Pot is better than pharmaceuticals by far. THEY are the evil drug & business empire people should be fearing.

        On a lighter note, it’s not like pot has ever killed anyone and we VERY rarely hear about “baked and driving” accidents and fatalities (I’m in the industry, it’s ALWAYS alcohol).

        The moms should wait until the kids are asleep to do this, and recognize addiction for what it is. Calling wine “mommy juice” and slugging back a bottle, even a couple times a week, is alcoholism. Alcoholism becomes WAY worse with time, but pot use doesn’t (google the “kindling effect”)– you plateau and the worst thing that will happen to you long term (besides lung based illnesses) is you lose motivation to do anything LOL

        I LOVE pot and it is my drug of choice, even over alcohol, but I am NOT for legalization– just decriminalization. BUT MODERATION IS KEY HERE– wait til the kids are asleep!

      • Sandy Pandy says:

        Oh yes – totally agree. Talk about boring – I’d have to smoke to cope as well.

      • Audrey says:

        @ pinta – I know it’s psychologically “habit forming”, it is a daily habit of mine! But, when I travel for work, I don’t smoke and don’t feel any psychological consequences from “withdrawal”. It effects people in different ways, just like most drugs.

      • olcranky says:

        marijuana alters your perception of time and space – that does not change if you use frequently.

      • Tiffany says:

        Pinta, I don’t believe this is true: “You DO go through withdrawal when you abruptly stop using it.”

        THC is deposited in your body fat, and so when you stop using it, your body slowly releases it over time. That is why it will show up on a drug test 30-60 days after use…because it stays in your body. It is not physically addictive at all.

    • some bitch says:

      Marijuana is not an addictive substance.

    • danielle says:

      I agree. I think it’s odd that some pot smokers are SO insistent that pot is better in all ways than alcohol. There haven’t been nearly the studies on pot that there have been with alcohol, so you really can’t say. Also, people can get addicted to anything and it can cause them to parent poorly.

    • Chicagogurl17 says:

      Yes. And she’s missing out on valuable bonding time with her kids she won’t get back. I understand a little nip/sip/inhale when in a controlled setting, but being baked everyday around your kids sounds like a way to be distant, medicated and not in control.

  3. lower-case deb says:

    “i drink/smoke/shoot up whatever to take my mind off things. honestly, only when i’m stressed and even then just enough.”
    isn’t that just a slippery road to dependency? what signal does it give to the kids?

    • Esmom says:

      Yes, parents need to consider that kids pick up on everything, especially as they get older. If they can’t model responsible behavior, who will?

    • Allison says:

      I watch my friends who are parents to a 13 and a 9 year old, smoke daily. Yes they work they do their parenting but they are not really there in the present with their children. I find that when they are high they lack any real parenting skills, as in lack of real interest in their children. Also i find they dont follow through with anything therefore wonder why there children behave like they do and dont clean up and help out. its beacause i feel they lack the follow through. I am a parent and YES it is dam hard but truely worth doing it with my eyes open and my mind bright so that i can instill and encourage my child to be the best she can be.

      • TheOriginalTiffany says:

        Wow.

        I have two kids 12 and 14, they excell in school and we parent them well enough to get amazing comments on them all the time.

        I smoke daily, I have total medical issues and it is legal in my resident state. If i dont smoke, I cant eat. I am never high to the point of not functioning, just as I never would get that way about alcohol with my kids.

        I have been able to maintain a fantastic career, relationship and child rearing on pot. No slippery slope for me other than getting off FOURTEEN prescriptions. That’s the only reason pot is still illegal, big pharma. I have no other vices.

        I can tell you positively that after 20 years working in medicine, I have never seen ONE person come in for treatment in the ER. I’ve seen everything else, but not pot. Stoners don’t beat people, don’t get DTs, don’t get pancreatitis and liver failure, cirrhosis and primary liver cancer like the drunks.

        Do what you want, but I’ll stick to pot, it makes my days tolerable by letting me eat, it gives me a little fun at parties when everyone is wasted. And for SURE, I have been wasted out of my mind on alcohol, puking, passing out, etc in my youth. Never seen a college girl pass out on weed to the point where she can get raped either.

        Legalize it, if tobacco and alcohol is legal so should a natural herb like cannabis. We’d also make a shitload of cash on hemp too. Stupid government.

        I thought the Jezzie article was hilarious. Maybe I was high:)
        Seriously, I don’t smoke in front of my kids and try not to while I am around at the crucial time of day. Before meals and night time.

        One more plus! Your partner can still get it up when high, no floppy alcohol dong.

      • jano1981 says:

        For original tiff. This. Mine too and me too. I have the best kids and get compliments on my parenting and how kind they are. 100% different than being drunk. I need to leave this thread. Some people will always see pot smoking as so bad and u can’t change their minds.

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        @ OTiff and Jano-

        THANK YOU!!! I’m just so tired of the stigma from people who don’t smoke, have never smoked, and who constantly drink the governmental Kool-Aid about the *evils* of weed. We need people to continue to speak out and re-define the old notion of a “pothead”. Just because a person smokes pot, does NOT mean that they’re a foggy mess, it does NOT make them irresponsible or lazy or dumb. Weed can be incredibly helpful-it changed my life and allows me to get sleep without popping Ambien or Ty PM every night. I just wish people would stop with the judgement-seems like the people who are most vocal against weed are the ones who know the least about it.

      • Emily says:

        Excellent comment @TheOriginalTiffany.

        I don’t have and don’t want kids, but I’m on Tramadol every day for pain. It makes me muzzy-headed and hurts my attention span significantly, but I can’t function without it. While it’s not nearly as addictive as many other prescription drugs for pain, it is both physically and mentally addictive.

        Pot can be mentally addictive. It has not been shown to be physically addictive. I would love to try pot instead, but it’s still not legal for medical purposes where I live.

        I have known people who put pot ahead of their kids. I have known far more people who put alcohol ahead of their kids. It’s a very individual thing. In the case where you have a medical condition which puts you in horrible pain every day, from the reading I’ve done, pot looks like the best drug, with the fewest health and social hazards, of any I’ve heard of.

      • Embee says:

        OrigTiff – I really appreciate your perspective. When my life got traumatic I turned to wine to cope. Not only did that increase my anxiety the next day, it made me fat, destroyed my skin and worst: caused me to disengage with my then-infant. We’re talking a glass of two a night, not getting wasted.

        I worked my ass off to get away from that habit and it was hard. (thank you Hot Yoga!) I remember thinking that, on the nights I didn’t have class, I wished I could do SOMETHING to help me calm down, stop being so anxious, etc.

        I was raised to stigmatize pot, but agree that something so natural…an herb, for pete’s sake, should be available for adult use.

      • Miz Misanthrope says:

        I’m co-signing what OTiff, OKitten et all have said…I was a very problematic child prone to rages and ‘tantrums’ – not a walk in the park to raise until I got old enough to channel my energies elsewhere. My mom has said numerous times the only thing that kept her from going all Andrea Yates on me was being able to lock herself in the bathroom and having a toke or two. My mom’s smoking pot didn’t stop her from being a very active, involved parent who taught me how to think for myself as well as the difference between right and wrong. I don’t think I turned out too badly considering.

        I think that keeping pot and hemp illegal is like cutting off your nose to spite your face. Yes, there are people who over do it and give smokers a bad name. But then again that’s true with just about everything out there. I too would rather puff away than have to resort to taking the painkillers I would otherwise need to function. If someone is a bad parent don’t blame pot for it-they’d probably still be a shitty parent sober.

      • pintaLOL says:

        YESSSS ORIGINALTIFFANY… that was awesome. Not for legalization persay (I’m not about government regulation and taxation) but what you said is dead on. It’s time to stop the stigma. I got off pharms with the help of pot as well and haven’t felt better to be FREE of BIG PHARM!! 🙂 KUDOS.

      • Katy says:

        I agree with you 100% Tiff….thank you for your insight!!!

      • Misspdx says:

        @ originalTiff – this! Thank you! I smoke daily , have two amazing and talented kids and yes I’m 100% present in their lives. My family is happy, productive and well balanced. It’s not like I’m rolling up a fat doobie and getting all cheech and Chong on the kids. But I’m not opposed to slipping out back and using my vaporizer . Anyone who tells me that’s the same as drinking has clearly not spent a lot of time around addicts. Visit your local rehab and when you meet someone going to treatment exclusively for pot.. Well then I’ll say you got really lucky. Sheesh.. Opinions ARE like assholes..

      • Carol says:

        I say this from perspective of a formerly judgmental person who had never smoked marijuana.. People need to relax! My husband happens to take one puff a night on order to sleep yet he is not done criminal-he works 110hrs a week in a high stress job. He helps out at home, is always attentive. I am ashamed I used to judge people that smoke a plant! Sadly the stereotype of a tie-dye wearing hippie orthe teen idiot who wears a put leaf shirt was all I ever saw…because the normal, responsible people that smoke don’t advertise it! I don’t think parents should be baked in front if children. Note do I think that women who smoke whilst pregnant are anything short of disgusting but light smoking of a substance with proven benefits shouldn’t be treated like the smokers are meth addicts. It’s like a bloody 50s after after school special in here.

      • Veruca says:

        @TOTiff —

        Co-sign everything you said. I’ll spare everyone my story, but yes — daily user, successful kids and life.

        It’s all in how you use. I don’t get ‘wasted’, but I do have to dull the pain to function. And yes, my son knows. He also knows all about what drugs will really f*ck up your life.

        And to those who say there’s no difference between pot and alcohol — spend some time in Milwaukee (AKA the alcohol consumption capital of America, no shit!) and see the difference firsthand. I’ll spare you the horror stories, but can honestly say that I’ve never seen the ‘potheads’ I know act irresponsibly (not to say that there aren’t a$$holes in the group. I’ve just never personally met them).

        My friends are regular users. They’ve very happy, successful kids and very successful lives. They (and myself) completely contradict the stereotypes that others have made. I wish I could say the same about the alcoholics I know. I really do.

        Tiff, let me know the next time hubs is doing a gig in Mil-town. I’ll happily catch one with you!!

        😀

      • gg says:

        I don’t have kids, but I can say it helps IMMENSELY in coping with and getting through bad symptoms of chemotherapy. I agree it’s stupid we are still under archaic ideas when it comes to the government growing hemp for commercial use. I won’t get into a debate, but it’s a rapidly renewable resource and could fund a lot of great causes that taxes are having to carry, and be taking $ away from street dealers. Alcohol should be moved up on the drug classification list imo, but there are too many people addicted to that for consideration; meanwhile, hemp is illegal, though not physically addictive, and is way safer than many drugs it could replace. Seems ironic to me.

      • CTgirl says:

        @ theOriginalTiffany and theOriginalKitten – Firstly, I think that pot should be legalized. It is no different than alcohol in my opinion and would provide a lot of tax revenue. That being said, the “it’s natural” argument is ridiculous. Arsenic is also a natural substance. Natural does not equate to good for the human body (and I’m not saying that weed is bad for the human body only that this argument is illogical). Also, why is it OK to smoke weed behind closed doors but not drink alone? Of course drinking alone isn’t a good idea but why is it OK to smoke so long as the kids don’t see it? If you really think that it’s OK to smoke weed then be upfront with the kids and own your decision.

      • Tiffany says:

        So well said, OriginalTiffany!

        There is a program called “History of Drugs: Marijuana” and it talks about how things became illegal. Pot was made illegal because of 2 reasons: 1. Racism (minorities used it more), 2. It was competition for alcohol and tobacco after the end of prohibition.

        I don’t think pot is good for everyone all the time, but I think it has been demonized to an absurd degree. Thanks for your contribution to a factual discussion! Much respect to you!

      • olcranky says:

        @originaltiffany – I’m a big proponent of medical marijuana and have worked on evaluating cannabinoid agonists for clinical indications but I have seen stoners come through my (old, since I no longer work in the hospital) ER and end up in our trauma units from various accidents that were caused because their reflexes/perception were dulled.

        As for those who say it’s harmless, I wouldn’t agree and I’m not sure you can compare it to alcohol and say it’s “much safer”. I’d be more comfortable with a normal sized person driving a car an hour after a beer than I would with someone who smoked pot an hour prior to getting behind the wheel. I’m pretty sure if we had as many people smoking pot recreationally as much/often & as freely as we do with drinking alcohol we might not see the equivalent to alcoholism/cirrhosis but we would see many of the other issues such as accidents/injuries. I guess we already have an obesity problem in the country, so I guess we probably wouldn’t be able to tell if there was an increase in that due to pot smoking.. . . come to think of it, is anyone else surprised the junk food lobby isn’t pushing to legalize recreational use of marijuana?

      • Ming Lee says:

        @origtiff — 100% agree with your post, hands down.

    • fancyamazon says:

      @Original Tiffany: didn’t you tell us you were in cirque? I’m actually asking, because I may be mistaken.

      • TheOriginalTiffany says:

        My husband is. I gave up my career after 20 years to travel the world with our family. My career was in the medical field. Got burnt out watching cancer patients die everyday. Hubs is a musician.

        We travel with the tour, my children go to school on the site, they are bilingual now and are totally away from any peer pressure, I don’t see them toking up or getting into trouble at all. We are pretty much with them all the time. So no, I’m not getting high and doing some crazy aerial act:)

      • fancyamazon says:

        @Original Tiffany Thanks:) I knew there was a connection:) You must have a fun life, overall, but busy!

      • TheOriginalTiffany says:

        I’ll be honest, after the stress of 20 years in Oncology it IS a pretty fun but busy life.

        The best thing is there are 160 permanent members. Free shows, sit backstage, different city ever two months, seeing the world
        Of course my life is packed into 15 cases for four people, but we’ve wspent fall and winter in Amsterdam, summer in Quebec city. Our coming run takes us to DC, Atlanta and Miami for the new year. I get great friends, safe kids, free meals, housekeeping, cool apartments. And we have a great steady job. All we do is show up, he works at night, we play tennis, do whatever we want.

        I’m not complaining. Supposed to spend a year in AUS and six months in Nz in a couple years. Love to settle in Vegas for resident show, but this keeps my kids Worldly and sheltered. No boys! No girls, no drinking or drugs, no FB for my teens. They are under strict pot mom control.

        Honestly, I know you all are great mothers too, but I gave up my whole well paid career to travel and be a full time mom and we are a unit! The kids learn circus arts, graduate at 17 and eat free organic food daily. There are three teachers for seven kids.

        Someone tell me how pot is making me a bad mom. Sorry still tired from taking the kids to see Blue ManGroup last night with cirque, and when they all wanted to go out for a drink after we excused ourselves to take the kids home. Sounds like disconnected parenting to me. Snort.

  4. Fritzi Schnitzer says:

    Maybe she takes a couple of puffs once a day? Does she specify she tokes up all day long? You can’t even compare smoking weed to alcohol. People can continue drinking all day or all night.Belligerent. Abusive. Blacking out. Fetal alcohol syndrome. Are these words associated with marijuana use…or alcohol?I’m not advocating or defending..but to compare these two substances is blatantly ignorant.In the 20s women drank booze disguised in teacups. In the 50s it was the prescribed “mother’s little helpers”. Now women abuse their children’s ADHD meds, or of you’re Demi or Whitney, crack and nitrous.So…someone comes out and admits they smoke pot. Is that the most terrible thing they can do?

    • Marianne says:

      “People can continue drinking all day or all night.”

      The same could be said for people who get high.

      • Little Darling says:

        Right but the ones who possibly smoke
        all day aren’t “highing” themselves into a stupor. Generally the productive potheads that I’ve known manage their weed well, and have the ability to not be blatant (ie no loss of motor skills etc)

    • beyonce's bump says:

      let me guess, you smoke pot too. Don’t worry, I use to as well and this is the same kind of rationale and reasoning I and most pot smoker will make. The thing is I HAVE blacked out from being too high, I even FAILED my law exams the first time around, because I smoked only twice a week and didn’t think it was a big deal (I was a straight A student). Then let’s not talk about mental fckupness that occurs, short term memory was warped. So don’t try and make it seem that smoking POT is more healthy than drinking a glass of wine. If it is not done in really LOW moderation, both can seriously fack u and your life up.

      • jano1981 says:

        Beyoncebutt u also think Chris Brown is undeserving of the hate he get but because you tried to pass bar exams while high enough to blackout, pot is bad???

      • TheOriginalTiffany says:

        I call bullshit.

        Do my posts here seem like an illererate mess because I smoke?
        If you are failing tests because you smoked twice a week, something is wrong. I got straight A’s too, while high. Welcome to the world of functional pot smokers. Or I could puke all day and never eat,since I am obviously fucking up my life so bad. You know, career, wife (24 years together), kids, travel. It might f up your life, but please leave mine out of your equation.

        I took my state boards after a toke, finished my four hour exam in one hour and passed a test with a fifty percent fail rate with flying colors. A little pot does not stupidity make.

        Please step off the high horse. In fact, I’ll ride the high horse, doing my endurance rides was always a great time to get high. It’s not quite downing five Vicodin and passing out in your own slobber.

      • jano1981 says:

        By the way all the years I’ve been prescribed I have never ever ever blacked out or felt like that at all. On the prescription meds I took blacking out could happen.

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        @Tiff-PREACH!

        @ Beyonce’s Bump-I’ve been smoking for 15 years and never experienced anything even remotely like what you described (BLACKING OUT??). Maybe you just can’t handle weed?
        If that’s the case, it’s good that you’re aware of it but you have to understand that for most of us who smoke pot, that is not the case. I’m a responsible person: I pay my bills on time, I rarely miss a day of work, I support myself on an 80K salary and I’m a productive memeber of society and yeah, I smoke weed every night before I go to bed.
        I think it’s important that people don’t apply their personal experiences with marijuana to others. It may have been negative for you, so don’t do it again. That’s fine. But making blanket or declarative statements about marijuana being harmful is not only false, but unfair.

      • janie says:

        the strain you smoke makes a huge difference in how it affects you. i usually only smoke before bed, so i tend to buy very strong kush that basically makes me pass out. i would never smoke it if i had to be productive–if i smoked kush during the day, i’d probably end up watching 40 episodes of parks n rec and falling asleep in a bowl of salsa.

        @BB– smoking pot twice a week would not have that effect on your academics or memory…maybe you were going through a rough time otherwise?

        btw–i recommend this website to find the perfect leaf for you 🙂 http://www.leafly.com/explore

      • AnnieN says:

        @beyonce’s bump – perhaps it was something else in the smoke that made you pass out? $hit weed is known to be sprayed with chemicals and worse. Most medical pot smokers will not touch the stuff and prefer to pay top dollar for the good stuff. I have smoked for 20+ years and have never passed out.

        Now about schooling, I was in the 97% percentile in my class and was recruited by a top tier firm. Even though I quit my corporate job because of complications during pregnancy, I still practice p/t and have never had a problem remembering case law, names, dates etc. People are actually frightened by how much data is stored in my brain 🙂

      • pintaLOL says:

        Don’t blame your failing of your law exams on pot. You didn’t pass. That’s YOUR problem, it sucks, and I’m sorry to hear. Don’t give up though, you still have your whole life to fulfill your goals!

        Let ME guess– when you blacked out, you were already a little drunk?

        I’m in the legal field. I’ve passed the tests and went to uni for 6 years, all As. Guess what? I smoked pot every single day.

        Maybe it’s just moderation.. maybe your body just doesn’t like it for whatever reason. Maybe you even have an allergy or something, it’s possible. That sucks though, I feel for you. You’re missing out.

      • Misspdx says:

        @tiff – amen sister.

      • Veruca says:

        All right. That’s it.

        All you lazy, dysfunctional, illiterate stoners — Hookah at Veruca’s!!

        😀

      • Beyonce's Bump says:

        lmao…you guys all need to “chill”, if you read ANY of my other posts, you would know I am a PRACTICING junior associate in criminal law. I was saying I FAILED the barrister, not the solictor, yes, there are two bar exams you have to write. I passed the second time around. I am sorry that you guys all have unicorns and rainbows coming out of your asses when you smoke. I was only sharing my experience so miss me with that bullsh$t.

        I am NOT against smoking pot if u can handle it recreationally. I am just SICK of people acting like constant misuse of pot has NO mental effects whatsoever. If you have not been affected by it, it obviously means that a) u use in moderation and/ or b) you do not have an addictive personality.

        And to the idiot who brough CB into the conversation, please have several seats, my opinion on that matter does not diminish my stance on the issue of marijuana overuse.

      • Beyonce's Bump says:

        Oh and re passing out, if none of you have EVER passed out from being too high, then obviously u either have ONLY smoked shitty strains or just have never partied “that hard” to pass out from it.

        I will even venture and say that most of you have never spent days holed up in your apartment smoking continuously.

        And before some daft obtuse moron misunderstands my intention, i am all for the LEGALIZATION of marijuana, again, I will repeat, my ISSUE is with stoners ( I WAS ONCE A STONER) trying to concoct all these different pseudo evidence that ALL weed is ALL good ALL the time with no adverse SIDE effect EVER. Whether i still indulge now and again, well um, that is something for me to keep on my “high horse”

        and ya ya, I know, anybody can be what they want to be on the internet. whatevs

      • Beyonce's Bump says:

        omg I meant I had only smoked twice a DAY on average not twice a WEEK. I always write most of my comments when I wake up in the morning and my brain is still mushy and My apologies for the mis-write and anyone who replied based on that info. Sorry for the extra bitchery in my first two replies as well….facking bad day but I am still highly pissed at the whoever that brought CB into this. WTF does that have to do with the price of fish in china.

    • Trashaddict says:

      I totally agree with Beyonce’s bump. It is also entirely possible that the same strain of shit will affect people differently, yes? Or do you all think that everybody’s physiologic processing of this drug is completely the same? I’m not anti pot either. But I would not want to inhale smoke into my lungs daily for 30 or 40 years, that will actually have some effect. And I got drug-tested while pregnant because someone I knew was too stoned to realize that people might actually be able to smell the residue from their recent toking. So don’t tell me it doesn’t affect people’s judgment and mental clarity. That was a completely humiliating experience for me. I decided to forget and forgive that episode, but believe me it wasn’t easy. My brother who was stoned for years finally stopped smoking, woke up, and moved on – right out of his marriage. Do I blame it all on the pot? Of course not. On the plus side, it does calm really hyper people down. But it’s just like ANY drug. It can f up your life if you use it maladaptively.

      • Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

        If pot calms people down, this thread isn’t smoking the good stuff. (/half joke)

  5. Esmom says:

    “Maybe it is by some very low standards, but why not focus on your own family and dealing with your own issues without getting blotto?”

    Agreed. Parenting can be stressful and often is tedious and boring. I used to knock back a few for that very reason until I realized I wasn’t doing anyone in my family any favors, including myself.

    I think parents need deal with the fact that parenting is hard rather than try to escape it. And in the grand scheme of things, your time with your kids is relatively short. I’d rather be present in the moment than float through it obliviously just so that “folding laundry can be fun.”

    • Allison says:

      Esmom you have summed this up perfectly. Bless

    • Aussie girl says:

      Different stokes for different folks. I like my wine in moderation but yes love every now & then to light one up. CB you have pick an interesting topic! Do alcohol & drug abuses give wine & pot users a bad name?

      • Esmom says:

        I think you’re right on with your moderation comment. It’s key for booze or pot, both of which are fine in moderation. And I do think pot should be legal.

        However, this mom needing to get high every night to get through dinner with her kids and to do laundry does not seem like moderation to me.

  6. Little Darling says:

    I have to say the Chardonnay sucking moms frighten me. I know SO many moms who drink while their children are at school, and then drive around carting them to practice and play dates. That scares me more than anything. Same thing with pills….overall just a really tightening thing that those things are entirely legal and can do more damage than a toke here or there.

    But I think I’m with CB…can’t we just raise children without feeling the need to be altered around them? This goes for things like Xanax, and booze and everything like that.

    • fancyamazon says:

      +1

    • AnnieN says:

      @Little Darling – my BIL/SIL are big drinkers, they have no problem drinking and driving around with their kids. Then my BIL started popping pills and drinking. They are the most miserable people I know. They are supposedly both teachers and their youngest child can’t even speak clearly at 3. That child now needs extra help and isn’t getting it even though my SIL hasn’t had a real job since she was fired from her teaching position a few years ago. They would rather have a good time with their friends than sit down and work on their kids problems. Their other child has had an eating disorder since about 5. Both kids are painfully shy and very behind their peers.

      I have friends that enjoy a drink of wine in the evening and I won’t compare them to the above. If we plan on having more than one or two drinks when they are over, we hire a sitter. Even though we are home, the sitter is around to make sure the kids are being looked after. As far as driving, our friends live on the same block so no drunk driving either.

      • Little Darling says:

        I live in California, where it is legal, and I also teach at the elementary school. I think the scariest thing is the drinking and driving during the day. Even if you don’t “feel” drunk, if you get caught and blow alcohol you are definitely going to jail.

        I think, overall, with parenting (I have two kids) it’s about moderation, as with everything in life, right? Parents can hang out, party, but ummmm…we are responsible for humans, and it is our responsibility to not put them into more danger. Basic parenting 101.

        From what I have seen, alcohol is more detrimental than pot could ever be, on a social level and on a higher level. The moms that I know who have legal cards would not have been telltale, whereas the moms I know who heavily drink…well…let’s say it’s really, really apparent. They sometimes smell like booze, usually have bloat face, run late etc etc etc. I’m just going on observation alone, and of a selection of like 6 mothers, split in half. The drinkers have messier lives, period. Whether it’s running late, or organization, you can tell something is slightly askew. All three of them have received either a moving violation ticket that cost them hundreds of dollars.

        The three moms I know who smoke regularly are all involved in leadership of some sort with their children’s activities, have a pretty calm and sane life and have not gotten any parking violations and I would never, ever have guessed in a million years they they were high before any event, when after the fact I learned they were. They are able to function and hide it much much better.

        I don’t judge, I just think it’s a shoddy personal choice, health wise, emotionally wise and legally.

        🙂 My fifty cents.

  7. Julie says:

    kids mimic the behaviour of their parents. i doubt any drug is good around children.
    passive smoking etc.

    this whole pointing to alcohol is a very weak argument and its brought up so often during any pot discussion.

    • Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

      It does have a splash of ‘Teacher, teacher, but look at what SHE’s doing!’ ring to it.

      Sometimes it’s just better to base a position on its own merits because honestly, pot smokers can be way more tedious and self-impressed than the most staunch temperance hotelier. You can do what you want, but if you don’t want people to roll their eyes, positioning yourself as the inspiration for ‘Liberty Leading The People’ may not get the desired effect, even when some really good pro-ganja arguments exist. Tone can make donnybrooks out of expected triumphs, and unless preceded by the word ‘peanut’, what is too brittle will just break and no one benefits.

      Maybe I’m just pissy because I’m Jamaican and it’s a losing game to try to defend your individuality against a stereotype of the country that is so much more understood by anyone who has never been than by anyone steeped in its heritage. Maybe I just don’t know what to say when one drug gets hijacked in order to deify or demonize another–and I don’t think that lashing out in principle at people who accept prescriptions is useful, either. Yes, doctors are frequently in the pockets of The Symptom Industry, but I also think that at large we aren’t exactly emptying out our medicine cabinets in protest. But that’s a another HUGE topic on its own.

  8. drea says:

    What I find interesting is that if you go to the doctor and give them your symptoms they will prescribe sleeping pills and powerful sedatives that people will take no questions asked. Those prescriptions are frequently abused and cause lifelong addiction issues for all kinds of people. I don’t understand the fuss about weed. It’s much less harmful than the stuff doctors hand out on a regular basis. I honestly think that they need to just legalize it, tax the sh*t out of it and profit.

    • AnnieN says:

      Please see my comment above about my pill popping BIL. He is a teacher and goes to work like that. After popping pills and mixing it with booze, he has sought help. The “help” is another pill to get off the original pill. Doesn’t make any sense to me.

    • Emily says:

      Percocet. My doctor asks me if I want it nearly every time I go to him for a refill of my painkiller and muscle relaxant, because they aren’t strong enough to kill the pain, and I always say no. They gave it to me in the emergency room and I was on it for two weeks afterward. Just one or two pills a day after the first two days. Getting off it was horrible. I didn’t sleep at all for two nights, then slept very poorly for the next week. I was constantly anxious and filled with nervous energy. I’d never been addicted to anything before, and I didn’t *want* to take Percocet — it did less for me than even Advil, after those first two days, and it didn’t give me any happy feelings, it just made me tired. But my body thought it needed it by then. Absolute hell.

      • AnnieN says:

        @Emily – And you were taking it correctly, my BIL is WAY past that point. He was snorting the pills at school! This is a guy my ILs say cannot do wrong and is always trying to dissect our life. He is now on another cocktail of pills to get off the pills. And he won’t touch pot btw, just not strong enough for his needs.

    • ohiogirl says:

      I agree that marijuana should be legalized, but like alcohol, it should be penalized if people operate motor vehicles while impaired, etc. Not sure if there is a way to check the level in someone’s system like they do for alcohol? I took two hits of pot in my life and both times I was soooo messed up. I wouldn’t want people like that driving around.

      Even if it’s legalized, people will still grow and sell it – why would someone pay a higher sticker price + taxes if they already have an affordable supplier they like?

  9. marie says:

    Hmm, I’m not a parent so I’m not going to give my opinion but, my SIL’s mother toked up daily while she was growing up and it stopped her from doing everyday things with her kids. She remembers her mom sleeping a lot, and little else. It still kind of bothers her now and that was many, many years ago.. but, I will say her mom was extremely excessive about it..

    • SnarkySnarkers says:

      My own mom smoked pot while I was growing up, Im 31 now and she actually still smokes it. I knew at a young age she was doing drugs and I think most kids are a lot more perceptive than their parents give them credit for. I can tell you that she is not quite there when shes high. Its like shes in a fog. Sure you can talk to her and she can still function but you feel like she just never quite “gets” what you’re saying. She zones out and you’ll have to repeat yourself. Its very frustrating.

      It also made her reclusive, when shes high she holes herself up in her room for hours on end. When Id go somewhere with my friends Id have to yell through the door “Mom, Im leaving” It always made me sad. I’ve yet to meet someone who smokes pot regularly that functions in the same way a sober person does. Im not against it as a “once in a while” situation, when the kids are sleeping or while you’re on vacation but not when you are actively caring for them. Its just wrong and it does negatively affect them whether you think it does or not.

      • AnnieN says:

        @SnarkySnarkers – sounds more like your mom was depressed. My mom was the same way and she has never smoked, drank or abused any type of prescription.

      • SnarkySnarkers says:

        @AnnieN: Well, pot is a depressant so thats very likely. Also, just to note that when she wasn’t high she acted pretty normal. When she was, she was in a fog and it was annoying and frustrating.

      • Marie Antoinette Jr. says:

        Snarky, that’s how pot affects me as well. When I am stoned all I feel like doing is being alone and cleaning something or sleeping. On the other hand I know a lot of people who are very social on it. It’s a weird drug that way.
        But I do agree, being stoned or drunk around little kids probably isn’t the best idea. My parents were drinkers, and it was scary to watch their personalities change the more they drank.

      • Stormy says:

        When I was a kid my mother layed in bed my whole childhood,completely not functional.Guess what..she DID NOT smoke pot,she was depressed.My father smoked all day long and was the care taker.Cooked,cleaned,spent enjoyable time with us,played with us.He was the most happy functional person,thank god for him,and may he rest in peace.But, see?It was my mom who was depressed and neglectful,maybe more parents should toke up.

    • AnnieN says:

      @SnarkySnarkers – Can you back that up with science? Seems it will worsen depression but not cause it. I have never had an issue of sleeping all day, I’m actually an insomniac and have been since I was a child because of things I experienced that caused PTSD.

      “Studies that have looked closely at whether marijuana use is associated with major depression suggest, in general, that any such association is either weak or nonexistent. Remember, too, that association does not prove causality — meaning in this case that it is at least as likely that depressed people use pot, as that pot causes depression.

      Indeed, studies that have attempted to clarify what causes what generally do not find that pot causes depression, even when used regularly. On the other hand, a number of studies do associate regular marijuana use with depression and anxiety in both adolescents and young adults.”

      http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/expert.q.a/03/30/pot.depression.bipolar.raison/index.html

      http://www.webmd.com/depression/news/20071025/pot-and-depression-mixed-findings

      http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/10/071023183937.htm

      • TheOriginalTiffany says:

        One wonders if it really is people who turn to pot to soothe them BECAUSE of anxiety and depression. Aren’t these kids already disposed to turn to drugs to compensate for a shitty upbringing?
        Chicken? Egg?

        I take my prescribed meds (pot) for severe pain and anxiety and depression. Before I used the 14 pills my doc dolled out to me, I weighed 235 and never left my room. Today I weigh over ninety pounds less and have one med to wean off of. Prescribed drugs did nothing but addict me, make me more depressed, fatter and altogether less healthy. My daily pot, clean food and exercise saved my life and is restoring me to my former self. Getting unleashed from big pharma, which had turned me into a fat zombie was the best thing I have ever done.

        I do want my to children when they are old enough to be able to have a glass of wine or a toke at home. Blast me if you want, but that’s how I think kids should learn about moderation and proper mellow enjoyment of those things. It’s a hell of a lot better than the parties, keggers and big time trouble I got up to when I was in high school. I was 15!
        I only drank but to excess all the time, it was cool to go get wasted every weekend and when you are fifteen sometimes you do dumb ass things.

        I’m talking when my kids are 18 and not partying with them at all, but if they choose to have a glass of wine at dinner or a glass of champagne at a party, I’d rather have them do it around me. Learn to use responsibly instead of learning from other bingeing teens. If you don’t think that goes on every weekend in almost every community you guys are all high! 😃

  10. Micki says:

    “Being judged for doing something nontoxic and totally organic, enjoying a god-given plant, by moms who suck back two bottles of Chardonnay like sports drinks feels like s—,” complains Margaret.

    I’d say wine is organic and non toxic too.

    I prefer a glas of wine but late in the evening when the kids are already in bed.Who can enjoy a drink when there are children around stress or no stress?

    • Nymeria says:

      “…wine is organic”?

      Wow.

      • Esmom says:

        Wow what? It’s true, Just as spinach or tomatoes or any produce can be organically grown, so can grapes. Hence the organic label on wines produced in that manner.

  11. Len says:

    This, my fellow celebitchy-fans, is not even worth discussing. What a ridiculous topic. Don’t drink or do drugs around your kids or if you have to take care of them in the near future. There, that’s it. PERIOD. Next! Kimye, where u at??

    • fancyamazon says:

      *edited* This was meant to be a general post, not in reply to Len, although he makes an excellent point.

      I am in agreement with those who say that if you need something to make it through a normal day then maybe you need to re-examine your life. Every minute of every day is not supposed to be completely stimulating and fulfilling. It is a whole journey, and the mundane is called that for a reason. Just do the chores that need doing, live your life, and be present for your family. I enjoy a beer or glass now and then, but in the company of adults only. At the end of the day, if you need a substance to help you cope with the small issues of daily life, like folding laundry or whatnot, then you need some assistance or self-examination.

    • Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

      Exactly. Who the hell needs a parent who has to go to such lengths just to tolerate and/or ignore you? What the hell kind of bond is that?

      Get a clue, get help, get better friends–whatever, but at least make an attempt to fight for life if so much of it as some huge affliction or inconvenience. All of those rationalizations about how every other parent is terrible is deflecting and doesn’t change the fact that someone is taking drugs every day *because* of her kids so there’s no moral credibility, there. Just stay in your lane.

      Try, at least try to and stop feeling like you’re so damned entitled to a non-stop party. Does she think the rest of us are having a non-stop orgy sipping margaritas on Jon Secada’s party boat? No, because he defaulted on the payments. We do that on Color Me Badd’s party boat with slushy bellinis and enjoy many evening entertainments and stunning acts of prestidigitation provided by the ghost of Dolph Sweet.

      At any rate, Gerardo tells me that you were left off the guest list because you were too blazed to RSVP in time. Ain’t that a kick in the spliff?

  12. sunmoonstars says:

    Maybe this woman should mind her own business and handle her own family before she starts running her mouth about other people’s lives. Why would anyone feel the need to comment on other people’s actions, when it has nothing to do with them whatsoever? (Obviously celeb gossip is DIFFERENT lol). Now, if you’re drinking and driving, then there’s a problem, but otherwise, who cares? And why would she think anyone cares about her opinion? Who is you, lady? Ugh such narcissism!

    Am I the only woman who is sick of this nonstop judgmental crap that women do to each other? It’s a constant game of one-upsmanship, and it’s REALLY bad with mothers. This is why I think “sisterhood” is BS, because women can’t stop hating on each other! Why is that?

    • Emily says:

      Women can’t stop hating on each other because our society is misogynistic and we are part of society. It’s something we need to be mindful of all the time.

    • Marie Antoinette Jr. says:

      I am sick of it too sunmoonstarts. I am so tired of the endless frenemy competition I have removed myself from most of my female relationships. It’s all a huge bitchfest whether I talk to them or not, so why not save the stress? I have more fun with my husband and dogs, frankly.

      • Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

        No trouble at all. I’m a born luddite, I wish we could go back to the abacus.

    • Marie Antoinette Jr. says:

      Also, in college I had a wonderful professor who explained it thusly: Men tend to get along with each other better because boys are taught from a very young age that arguments can and will come to blows. They learn to work things out to avoid physical pain and violence. Little girls are taught to NEVER hit. It’s not “lady like” to fight. So we learn to just pick and gripe and snark and emotionally bully each other–and it never ends because there is never a clear winner like there is in a physical fight. —So we carry that into adulthood.

      • sunmoonstars says:

        Marie Antoinette Jr- That makes sense (what your professor said). I’m like you, I also don’t have friendships with other women because I just don’t need or want the drama. I guess I think like a man, I want straightforward communication where there can be no misunderstandings, and if there is, I want to be informed of it instead of being trash talked behind my back to everyone. I actually get panic attacks when I have to go around other women because they’re so cruel and vicious. I’m sure not all women are like that but so many are that it seems foolish to even try to be friends with them, unless you like punishing yourself lol. You sound pretty cool, we should be friends 😀

      • Marie Antoinette Jr. says:

        Thank you sunmoonstars! You made my day. And yes, we WILL be friends!
        🙂
        I too, get extreme anxiety in dealing with women. I try to be forthright and honest and say what I mean, mean what I say–but I always seem to be out of step. I’m almost 50, and apparently the social rules of jr. high are still followed by most of the women I meet. It’s tough because I understood it when I was 13, but I guess I just couldn’t sustain it. lol!

      • Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

        You already know that all women aren’t the same.

      • Marie Antoinette Jr. says:

        Jo mama—-See? That’s the kind of double speak, hidden meaning I’m talking about! Why don’t you come right out and say what you want–instead of being cryptic? Why don’t you address who you are speaking to? It’s like a secret language and it’s not nice to be around when you don’t understand it!

      • sunmoonstars says:

        Yay! Finally, a female friend! You’re right about most women thinking it’s still middle school. I swear, it’s like women can smell me out as being different because they are uniformly cruel to me. Lots of snide comments, and haterade, which makes no sense at all. How does being nasty to someone else make you feel good about yourself? It’s especially strange because women are usually bleeding hearts that cry over any injustice, especially bullying, but they are so viciously cruel to other women!

        As for Jo Mama Besser, don’t even worry about her. Just par for the course! I have nothing against her but I have read her posts and we do NOT see eye to eye on anything. No offense, Jo Mama.

        One more thing….do you ever post on Fark? This might be a weird question but you remind me of a woman I used to talk to on there years ago. In a good way, of course 😀

      • Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

        Looking back on the comment now, it did come off as pretty caustic and if it caused discomfort I’m genuine in my apologies, so to that end: I’m sorry. It doesn’t necessarily change my position but I guess my error was in extrapolating my experience when experience is by nature individual. We’re trained to recognize and often celebrate difference from the first–people are socialized and have motivations but they’re also individuals. Maybe it sounds smug because I haven’t expressed it well but people are different from each other and we hear about it to no end and apologies again for not being able to avoid a snotty tone in saying it. If there’s one thing I actually do dislike, it’s the way that expected reactions gets called reactionary.

        *
        I’m not currently employing a proxy, so if you’re feeling alienated feel free to complain to me rather than about me. Who doesn’t like efficiency?

      • Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

        I’ve never been on FARK before, but now it seems to beckon me.

        No offense taken, you can’t agree with everyone and it would be madness to expect it. I’ll never know what everyone sees in Cameron Crowe films, they seem kind of dull and anodyne to me, so Vive la difference. I fell asleep watching Almost Famous on several occasions and it was a guilty series of naps because they were rentals with friends.

        You want to like it, the other person wants you like it and the slower sections force you explaint the genius in context and it gets stressful. Anyone heard of marijuana? It’s supposed to be really effective.

      • sunmoonstars says:

        I’m sorry Jo Mama, I meant to ask Marie Antoinette Jr if she posted on Fark. Nothing against you and I’m sure you’re nice and all but I think we’re speaking two different languages. I’m pretty sure that I’m the problem though 🙂

  13. sarah says:

    I’m a mother of 2 (7 & 11), I have a degree, graduated college with a 3.5, I work 5 days a week as a paralegal, my children are active in Scouts and Baseball. They have a room full of almost anything they want. They are intelligent, sweet, well mannered, healthy children. I don’t drink or take pills but at night, I toke up. After the dinner is done, the baths are done and it’s relaxing time. Yeah, I’ll smoke. My kids aren’t neglected and my responsibilities aren’t neglected.

    • Nicole says:

      The same argument can be made for those parents who drink, pop pills and shoot up to relax after the day is done.

      Mind altering drugs are mind altering drugs.

      Just dont be suprised when your children start to ‘relax’ themselves after their day is done. Monkey see monkey do.

      • TheOriginalTiffany says:

        Maybe you aren’t getting this crucial bit.
        It isn’t done in front of the kids, it’s after she’s done with them. I see a million parents drink in front of their kids.

        My kids have never seen me smoke.

        AND I would much rather have my kid when she turns 18 have a joint than get drunk. I don’t want her losing motor control, passing out, puking, getting a stomach pumped, etc.

        We really need to get over shaming people for pot smoking if done in a responsible manner. It’s no different than having one glass of wine.

        This is such a stupid topic. Legalize it everywhere and get over it. It does not mean you a bad parent. I am a good parent and an attentive parent all the time. It’s my most important job. It’s why I got off the real poisons, my prescriptions that were making me a recluse and were making me unhappy and unhealthy. That’s the real problem in this country with over 200,000 deaths per year. Combined with alcohol and tobacco, they are responsible for over 600,000 deaths.
        Marijuana? Responsible for 0. Why are we having this discussion?

      • Emily says:

        I saw all the adults around me drink to excess most Saturday nights of my life from birth until my parents divorced when I was 16. I didn’t drink at all in high school, drank way less than my peers in college and in my 20s, and had about one drink every other month after that until I threw out my back. Now I don’t drink at all, because I don’t even want to imagine the effects of mixing alcohol with Tramadol.

        So, no, there is not a straight line between having parents who do this stuff and doing it yourself.

      • sarah says:

        I agree with you Nicole. I feel like people who smoke up want to justify pot so badly that they forget about the potential repercussions. It slows your response time, it impairs motivations, and it can cause lung disease, in some ways faster than cigarettes can. All these are reasons not to do it around kids. Frankly I’ve seen too many baked people that claim they’re fine and they only took a few tokes when they can’t pay attention to a conversation longer than ten seconds and spend the evening doing next to nothing.

        And I’m sorry, if I can spot the smell of weed from 30 feet away in a parking lot and I don’t smoke at all, a kid in middle school will be able to figure out what their parent is doing in the shed in about half a second. The real question is whether a parent wants their kid to smoke weed as much and as constantly as they do. Because a kid will figure it out, and they will repeat the pattern.

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        Sarah- Saying that pot-smokers need to “justify smoking” implies that we feel guilt about it, which is just patently false.
        I don’t need to justify what I do because I see nothing wrong with it, I’m simply speaking openly about an aspect of my life.

        As far as people that you know who take a couple tokes and can barely function and do “nothing all night”-have you ever thought that they might be like that WITHOUT the influence of marijuana? How can you even apply that line of thinking when you have XXX number of commenters here saying that they hold down jobs, raise wonderful children, and are all productive members of society who toke on the regular?

        Hell, on the weekend I’ll smoke before I clean my apt and I’m down by the baseboards, detailing them with an old toothbrush!
        Saying that people can’t pay attention for more than 10 minutes when they’re stoned tells me that you don’t know much about pot. It’s usually the exact opposite: marijuana can help to aid with intense focus.

        Regardless, this is your opinion and you’re certainly entitled to it but I hope that you read the comments on here and maybe change your perception.

      • Sarah says:

        @TheOriginalKitten Your experience with pot might be entirely different than all the friends and family I know who smoke pot, but that doesn’t mean my witnessing its effect on people and how it dulls their personalities and slows their response time is any less true. And yes, they are people who I know under the influence of pot and not under the influence, and yes, there is a big difference.

        You might be completely functional after you smoke. But many people take it to relax. Meaning that it does exactly that, it relaxes your body. This, for many many people, leads to the physical changes I mentioned.

        While I don’t smoke weed, I don’t think its wrong that other people do. BUT, when it comes to your kids, in my opinion, you shouldn’t be under the influence of anything that has shown to alter the brain to the point where it limits the capacity to make responsible decisions at a fast enough pace. Just like you shouldn’t have two glasses of wine or just like you shouldn’t be taking a heavy dosage of prescription pills.

        To me, its too big a risk. If I wouldn’t drive or go to work under the influence of something, why would I do it when I’m taking care of my kids, when something just as bad or worse could go wrong? Personally, I think that stuff should be saved for adult only groups, away from kids.

      • Esmom says:

        I hear a lot of good arguments for legalizing pot and I’m not arguing that it can have real medical benefits.

        But the fact is it is a mind altering drug and that is a bad mix when it comes to life with kids. I smoked pot in college and more often than not I found the experience to be mildly hallucinogenic, and at times more than mildly so. I got paranoid, things seemed surreal and there is no way I could have been responsible for a child’s well-being in that state. Maybe it was just me and my reaction to the substance but drinking didn’t cause me to lose touch with reality the way pot did.

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        Let me just reiterate-I don’t have kids so I’m not in a position to judge one way or another. I’m not sure if I would stop smoking if I had them or not but I respect others’ choice to parent as they see fit. Someone like Tiff is clearly a loving and involved mother so I think she’s a good example of how you can strike that balance.

        I feel like it’s talking to a wall because people who don’t use pot are preaching about how awful and destructive it is to people who DO use and are trying to say that this perception is just NOT TRUE. This thread is really revealing in the sense that there is SO much misinformation out there about marijuana. Again, the comments prove that the people who are most vocally opposed are the ones who know the least about it. Pot “kills brain cells” huh? You know what else kills brain cells? Eating junk food, drinking too much booze, dehydration, being a chronic negative thinker, food additives, air pollution, extreme anxiety, and the list goes on:

        http://4mind4life.com/blog/2008/02/22/50-things-that-kill-brain-cells/

  14. Sunnybum says:

    There is a huge difference between having a quick toke as a pick me up (comparable to how some people respond to coffee or cigarettes or a single solitary alcoholic drink, which are also drugs plenty of people use around children, with no legal stigma) and getting drunk. It is totally possible to get drunk off of cannabis, and frankly, over-indulgence in any type of activity is for me, a huge no-no around children.

    Now this might be INSANELY controversial, but I work with very young children, and have on numerous occasions smoked pot on my lunch break. I see this as nearly identical to how plenty of adults have a caffeine boost or cigarette, or how europeans might have a lunchtime cup of wine (apparently it’s a thing over there).

    I head back to work after my modest toke and… business continues as normal. Really. No one (not coworkers, bosses, parents, and certainly not the kids) have EVER made notice anything different about my physical or mental state, except perhaps that I seem happier and more upbeat. It’s not about needing it (I doubt most people would say they are addicted to coffee, even if they drink it every day), but more about lifting up your internal state during a particularly stressful or draining day.

    Again, I would like to reiterate that I don’t approve of drunkenness or over-indulgence in front of children EVER (that includes weed, booze, prescription drugs, over-eating, over-dieting, over-criticizing, you name it), but responsible consumption of nature’s bounty (including the vilified cannabis plant) should be up to the person/mother, not the state.

    As a final mention, I recently received a substantial raise and my classes are fully booked, so my secret smoke sessions have certainly not impacted my ability to do my job, and do it to the satisfaction of the children and parents. I wish more mothers and professionals would come out and be truthful about the harmlessness of this plant. Not to mention that in the recreational sense (off hours, away from the kiddies, in the safety of your own home), it is HELLA fun.

    • TheOriginalKitten says:

      Great post, Sunnybun. You seem to be the same kind of pot-smoker as me. I do it minimally (never get crazy high) but unlike you, I never do it at work. However, I would never judge others for how they chose to use.
      Anyway, good for you but I’ll warn you to brace yourself for some negative comments that may be coming your way.

      • TheOriginalTiffany says:

        kitten and Sunny, ITA!

        I obviously did not smoke when previously working in medicine, duh. This is the kind of smoker I am. Enough to get my stomach and back okay and I am good. I also gave it up for all the years I was pregnant and nursing, so about six total. No withdrawals at all, trying coming off a fentanyl patch and Ativan! I wanted to die. When pregnant and nursing I gave up everything except the odd ice tea or beer/ glass of wine nursing. It is possible to be a mom who smokes and absolutely puts the needs of her children first.

        Over-indulgence of anything is bad, except love happiness and snark. Maybe one other thing;)

    • Sunnybum says:

      Thanks guys. I don’t know many people who can keep it together at work (or would want to) while smoking, but I found that pot helps brings out my silly child side when I’m feeling particularly like an old, stressed out fart.

      However, I much prefer it as a recreational diversion and for it’s medicinal properties (as it pulled me out of a terrible, 3 year depression that conventional medicine barely made a dent on). I really hope that people will stop turning this plant into an overblown enemy, and that the government will legalize it’s use for medicinal AND recreational purposes. The tide seems to be turning, but hopefully things will speed up a little in the coming years.

    • SLM says:

      Wow. Are you kidding me? You are paid to care for other people’s young children and you are justifying drug usage during work hours? I could care less what you do with your spare time, how much HELLA fun you have, or what the Europeans do, but what makes you think that your feeling “drained” or “stress level” justifies indulging in chemical alteration while caring for someone else’s child? Please don’t compare it to caffeine. That is just scientifically ignorant. I would feel the same way if someone said they felt like they could indulge in a glass of wine on their break or take a percocet, so it’s not about the pot.
      If you are that stressed out a work, find something else to do. Yes, I am judging. Judging for all those parents who just lucky enough not to have some little incident happen while on your watch. You seemed to be applauding yourself for smoking and getting away with it, promotions and accolades. Perhaps you are freakin Mary Poppins while just a teensy bit high – then why not come out with it and see how everyone feels then.

      • francesca1 says:

        OMG. I totally agree with you. What you do in your own home and with your own family is your choice. But to smoke on the job – when the job involves other people’s children – is so irresponsible and unethical. If you can’t get through a day at work without smoking, your problems are bigger than you realize.

    • dovesgate says:

      This is going to sound a bit strange when you read the rest of what I have to say but I am pro-legalization. Legalze it, decriminalize it, put the same restrictions on it as what is on alcohol to where responsible users can use it responsibly and if you can’t control yourself you get to go to jail. I disagree with parents using drugs around their children just like I disagree with parents being drunk around their children but like with alcohol, perhaps there is a moderation line with pot as well. I used to smoke before I had my children and I was never able to hit the “buzz” line before crossing to high but perhaps that was just me. I can concede that it affects different people differently.

      That said, how dare you toke up during your break when you work with CHILDREN? Who or what gives you the right to even slightly be under the influence of a drug when your position involves being responsible for other people’s children? We aren’t talking about a prescription here, we are talking about a drug being used for recreation when you are on the clock, taking care (in some way) of someone else’s children.

      I don’t care what you do on your own time nor in the privacy of your own home. When you are toking up to help you deal with your job maybe you need to be in a different line of work so that you are not in the chain of command over other people’s kids. If you can’t see how reprehensible and inappropriate that is then maybe you should seek counseling for what could be a psychological addiction problem.

      I would feel the same way over someone drinking alcohol on their break or taking RX pills to feel a buzz too.

    • Sunnybum says:

      I didn’t mention anything about having to smoke to “get through my day.” I love working with kids, and really it’s a huge pleasure. Nor is it everyday, or every week, or consistently at all. My point was that on the odd day that I choose to have a toke or two, no one can tell the difference except for me. This includes the parents, who are in the same classroom as the students and partake in the same activities. Literally ALL EYES ARE ON ME, and no one can tell the difference.

      It really makes you think about the “functioning stoners” who surround you as you go about your day. I have friends who are lawyers and business people, as well as mothers and of course other teachers, who occasionally partake during the day, without the world crashing down around them. Although I don’t personally know any people on heavy cannabis prescriptions for medicinal purposes, I am aware that these people head off to work and go about their day like everyone else. It’s not all “reefer madness” and people frothing at the mouth.

      For those commenters who are freaking out, I ask you to consider how many professionals (or teachers for that matter) go to work under the influence of anti-depressants, pain medication, or other pharmaceutical drugs? They are protected by law, and never have to divulge their various prescriptions to their employer/employees so long as it does not affect their job performance. It seems very close minded to accept that most people have, at one time or another, gone to work while “altered” in some way (yourself included), and admonish others who do the same with a plant. If I was one of those people who “blacks out” after smoking a joint, I would NEVER even think about risking my job or the safety of others. But I am instead one of the many have the tolerance and past experience to treat it like a cup of coffee.

      But yes, it IS possible to go about your day, and interact with your children, or co-workers, or random strangers, or even the police (one of whom is my father-in-law) and no one will know the difference. Everyone in the world is looking for an elevated state of consciousness (be that through mind-altering substances, exercise, love, religion, what have you) and when no one involved is harmed (or even aware of it occurring), there should be no reason to vilify it.

      If a tree falls in the middle of the forest and no one is around, does it make a sound?

      • dovesgate says:

        Is your “occasional toke” a prescription like the others you have mentioned? No? Then don’t do it around other people’s kids.

        You mention using it for a pick-me-up similar to caffeine or a cup of wine at lunch in Europe, “lifting up your internal state during a particularly stressful or draining day.” If you don’t need it to get through those “stressful or draining days” then why would you use it at your lunch break? It certainly appears you are implying you need it to get through the rough days.

        First of all, it’s illegal to use for recreation which is what it is unless and until you have a prescription for it. It doesn’t matter if it should be legal or not – it isn’t legal currently which automatically puts it in a different league than Mr. Smith’s Xanax prescription or Ms. Jones’ Vicodan prescription for her recent back surgery. It’s much more like Mr. Duncan throwing back a shot or two at lunch then coming back to teach P.E. with a nice buzz going on. Which one is reprehensible? Mr. Duncan because what he took for his “happy time” isn’t necessary and prescribed by a medical doctor because of that necessity.

        Second, I highly doubt your student’s parents would be ok with knowing the teacher is sometimes high while teaching. I dare you to get up at the next parent-teacher council meeting and announce that you do this. How fast do you think it would take for you to be fired? I bet you $100 your suspension papers would be waiting on the principal’s desk first thing the next morning and most likely your walking papers within the week.

        What you don’t seem to understand is that it is the PARENT’S choice what to expose their children to. Mom and Dad want to knock back a couple drinks or toke up with their kids’ knowledge, whatever. I don’t agree but it’s THEIR child. The teacher showing up baked to teach? Deserves to be fired. I am seriously so disgusted with your cavalier attitude towards using an illegal product while teaching children that I hope you get caught.

  15. Tiffin says:

    Put each behind the steering wheel of a car and see if there’s any difference then.

    I don’t have kids, but it seems to me that if you want to be the best parent you can be, then you should put the well-being (mental and physical) of your children first.

    • Samigirl says:

      One of the only times I ever smoked (19ish, pre children), I sat at a stop sign and waited for it to turn green. Funny, but if it impaired my judgement like that, then it’s definitely not a good idea (for me at least) to continue usage.

      I honestly don’t care if some drinks or smokes, I just don’t understand why you have to do it around your children? I’m not talking a beer or glass of wine at dinner, mind you. However, I’ve been around enough addicts to know that it takes more than one drink or one toke to “take the edge off.”

      I choose not to do either, but I don’t necessarily seem the difference…it’s all in moderation, I suppose.

      • the original bellaluna says:

        Samigirl – That is SO FUNNY! 😀 And good on you for recognising that that’s not for you.

      • gg says:

        I decided a long time ago to stop drinking evening glasses of wine because it kept me too wakeful at night, and also going home from a friend’s house at night, I also waited for a stop sign to turn green. Scared me enough to quit alcohol altogether. Pot never, ever did that to me. I think people react differently to it, just like alcohol. I know many people who only take 1 toke and stop. Myself included (I will not smoke a joint).

        It’s not smart to drive impaired either way and it’ll get you a DUI/DWI, etc., and rightfully so.

      • Samigirl says:

        gg, I’m glad I’m not the only one who has ever done that!

        The only reason I don’t drink, smoke, etc. is bc my bio family are allllllll addicts. I grew up with them, and I’ve seen ugly things. I really respect people who can only toke once and quit.

        For me, I feel like it’s in my genes to become addicted to something. I’m just determined to beat that! 🙂

      • Esmom says:

        Samigirl, good for you. Alcoholism runs in my family so I avoid drinking and drugs, too, although I did more than my share when I was younger. I worry about my kids…and just hope they will be as smart and strong as you are about how they choose to live their lives!

  16. irishserra says:

    Hmmm… if she’s going to bring God into this, maybe she should do her research. Wine is mentioned in the bible as a gift from God to “gladden the heart of man.”

    That being said, I think both are irresponsible when children are in your care. She should reserve the activities for her own free time, not when parenting.

  17. Naye in VA says:

    I smoke on a regular basis to “deal” with the stress, but i only do so in the hours that my kid is sleep. I do agree that it is a slippery slope to compare drinking vs smoking (although im terrbily in less control when drinking) when you start saying i “need” to do this every day, then you are right up there with the alcoholic moms that disconnect from your children.
    And i could feel it, not being totally present for my baby, so i stopped. Getting high is for personal time.

  18. Alexis says:

    There’s this big stigma around smoking weed because of the government – they rather you spend money on prescriptions, alcohol, tobacco or any other “medicine” that they make money off. I think a child would be more messed up seeing their parents stumbling around, causing arguments whilst drunk instead of just sleeping a lot.

    • TheOriginalKitten says:

      + 1

    • G says:

      +10

      THANK YOU!

      I’ve been a “functioning smoker” for 20 years. It’s right there between the Advil and the Correctol.

    • orion70 says:

      I find comments like this kind of funny. Unless you are buying through a legal source, exactly what and who do people think their purchasing is supporting? This, and stuff like bootleg cigs are where many crim orgs fund their higher operations and make their money.

  19. DD says:

    I’d never get high on anything with kids around. They totally ruin my buzz.

  20. Boxy Lady says:

    Kids are more perceptive than adults think they are. When kids realize that their parents must use some kind of mind altering drug (alcohol, pot, other stuff) so that “mommy can relax and deal with you kids,” that can cause all kinds of resentment that will probably last into the kids’ adulthoods. I think any parent who regularly uses drugs should try to look at “the bigger picture.”

    • SnarkySnarkers says:

      ^^This exactly! A little further up the page I wrote a bit on my mom smoking pot and how it affected me and I totally agree with this. I did resent her for a long time.

    • jc126 says:

      Exactly! And those who go on about “we only do X when the kids are asleep” (whether it’s pot or do some other activity) – your kids are probably aware of everything they do.

      • jc126 says:

        Meant “everything YOU do” lol. You’d think I was the one smoking pot (it’s sleep deprivation, not getting baked).

      • Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

        It’s probably going to sound bad, but adults have a way of deciding whether children are intelligent/perceptive or not based upon how socially-sanctioned a behaviour is. I don’t always buy the arguments.

  21. HK9 says:

    That woman’s pot smoking has probably fried the brain cells that tell her that being high is not the same as being sober and since it’s still illegal she should keep her hypocritical mouth shut and her epic dilusions to herself.

  22. Cathy says:

    I use to party, but stopped a long time ago. I don’t see any reason for a parent to either booze up or toke up while around children. If you want to have a drink or a smoke after the kids go to sleep then fine. But I would think you need to keep your wits about you with children around. Children are the most unpredictable creatures on this earth. You never know what they are going to do next.

  23. Sue says:

    If you have to drink or smoke to deal with your kids, maybe you shouldn’t have had them……. Or maybe they are doing too much and you need to throttle back a little. They are not little for that long, it really does go fast. And you have the rest of your life to do whatever…. Raised two kids who were involved in a lot of activities, did it without any type of mood altering devices. No regrets.

    • Chell says:

      Thank you for this comment! As a 39 year old that has been dealing with fertility issues for 3 years & DESPERATELY wants children, I am not understanding some of these comments. Am I against smoking pot or having a glass of wine or a beer to unwind? Absolutely not! I raised 2 step-kids & I get it! However saying you need a substance on a DAILY basis to cope with the stress of children, your spouse,or whatever your reason is…it’s just a way to excuse your DEPENDENCY! (I do not include people that use marijuana for true, medicinal reasons~ that is completely different!) There are safer ways to relieve stress; exercise, yoga, hobbies, etc! *SMH

  24. AnnieN says:

    Not all parents smoke to destress, some have very real medical conditions. I myself have battled severe illness (colitis, liver disease, cancer) for years and would rather toke up than take some of the pills that make me so sick I’m unable to function. Last year I had surgery 2x to remove cancer and I simply could not deal with the pain meds that made me so sick I could not care for my child. My doctor always recommended smoking although he was unable to prescribe anything because I don’t live in a state that allows medical use. I have smoked for over 20 years and I have never blacked out. I practice corporate law p/t and care for my child when she gets home from school. I’m the mom who always has the neighborhood kids over, the one that does crafts, bakes, gardens, and is always around to lend a helping hand. Before I had my child I worked for a top corporate firm and never flubbed a case, even though I smoked on a daily basis. There are many highly functioning pot smokers out there. There are strands that make you sleepy, etc. but if you know your stuff you know what works for you. I cannot say the same for alcohol, I have seen mothers stumbling around pushing their kids on strollers with drink in hand. I did not smoke while pregnant or breast feeding. I could be your neighbor, the one with the perfect yard (which I care for), the spotless house (which I clean every week), and the perfectly happy child. Not even my mom knows when I’m “stoned” because I don’t get sleepy, weird or anything, I’m just myself.

    • Minimi says:

      AnnieN: thanks for sharing your story. It certainly puts things in perspective. I hope you are fully recovered by now or at least in a “good place”.

      I always thought that smoking pot is something that needs to be ceased once you have a child. First, because it’s good to have your mind fully alert; second, because of whatever implicit message it might pass to the child (even if they don’t see it, they are usually more aware of certain things then we think). But reading your case it makes me think about it. Indeed I had some friends who would smoke regularly and keep a sharp sagacity. I guess it will just be different from person to person and case to case and that’s what’s important to keep in mind. In my case I would also not have an alcoholic drink in the middle of a working day because it (might) take my concentration away 😉

      • AnnieN says:

        @Minimi – that is my big secret, none of my “mommy” friends know about it because of the stigma attached to it. If you were to ask any of them about me, they would probably only have good things to say (I’m a bit bitchy, but that’s another story). Their kids all look forward to coming to my house. One of my mommy friends is now going through something (mid-life crisis?) and I haven’t seen her spending ANY time with her kids in months. But she as time to go do her hair and get her nails done. Our other friend also thinks she may have someone on the side. Bad parents are bad parents, and some just happen to have bad habits, not the other way around.

        The woman in the article, she is just perpetuating the stoner stereotype. I have never had fun folding laundry and have never needed a toke to deal with my child. I need it to deal with the pain and to eat, very much like TheOriginalTiffany mentioned in her post. I am currently pot free because we are trying for #2 and I’m having a really tough time with the pain, especially at night, and have already lost almost 10 pounds.

  25. TheOriginalKitten says:

    I applaud anyone who tried to destigmatize marijuana use. I don’t have kids, but I smoke weed every day. However, I only smoke on the weekends and I NEVER smoke weed before I go to work, only at night. I take my jobe very seriously and I’m not 100% confident I could properly interact with clients etc if I was stoned.

    That being said, this is the bottom line for me:

    “No matter what you use, you shouldn’t be judged if it works for you, you’re productive, and you do no harm,”

    If it works for these moms, then I’m not going to judge, just like I don’t judge any mom who chooses to parent their child in what could be seen as an unconventional manner. As long as it doesn’t hurt the child, it’s none of my business.

    • jesstar says:

      OriginalKitten, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with pot either, but I think you’ve touched on the reason some have issues with parents smoking. If you are not 100% sure you could handle with clients after smoking, why be responsible for another human’s life while smoking? Except for examples like Tiff, who really needs it medicinally and to replace more harmful pills, its not something to be taken lightly. If me and my SO want to get altered while our son is in the house, asleep or not, we make sure at least an older sibling is there. You never know when you have to take a midnight trip to the ER, and if we couldn’t drive there, we make sure someone can (yes this has happened, small children are very adventurous and resourceful).

      Of course as with anything, if someone is not using in moderation, its not a good idea.

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        @Jesstar-Exactly. I know MYSELF, I know how and what I can handle when I smoke and I know my limits. FOR ME.
        Pot smoking is enjoyable to me, but smoking pot and then explaining insurance matters to the CEO of a large financial institution-NOT SO MUCH 😉

        Pot affects people differently, just like alcohol does. I also wouldn’t drink around certain co-workers or industry types. That doesn’t mean that I won’t throw a few beers back with *other* co-workers after hours.

        I’ve stated in most of my posts that I’m not qualified to talk about smoking pot and parenting as I’m not a parent. I’m not sure if I’d smoke if I had kids, I’m just saying that I don’t judge. On this board I see a lot of commenters talking about the right/wrong way to parent (I generally avoid these discussions because I don’t have first-hand experience) and I truly don’t think it’s as black and white as that. People have different approaches and some might not agree, but it works for them. *shrugs*

      • TheOriginalTiffany says:

        Exactly Kitten, you have to know who you are hanging around with.
        The only reason I smoke with certain people is the stigma, I am not ashamed at all. Some people I don’t feel comfortable getting high or buzzed around, some I do. This usually involves poker:)

        Keep it apart from your job, don’t be an ass and parent irresponsibly. As I said I have to smoke daily, I enjoy it as well, but I do stuff with my kids almost everyday, especially since we are in a new city every couple months. I’ve taken them to so much, they have experienced so much and I don’t think it hampers my child rearing skills at all.

        We walk miles and miles exploring cities, we see all the amazing things each has to offer and I can’t really imagine being a more involved parent. We will have a month off in DC and I plan on almost daily excursions. AND I AM A STONER.
        I’m pretty darned smart too and don’t suffer fools glady even when high.

        As our economy suffers study up on hemp, why we don’t grow it and how much it can be used for. It would be an amazing resource to grow here.

      • jesstar says:

        Pot being illegal is completely ridiculous.

        The sad thing is that I’ve seen parents get sloppy drunk and super high in front of their young kids. That kind of thing just sucks balls and makes it harder for parents who can hold it together.

  26. bubbles says:

    hold on, this woman has a 6 and an 8 year old who come in at the end of the day and she is stressed about making dinner and folding laundry???? seems like she has far greater issues than any smoking a little weed.my guess is she is just using it as an excuse. i am and have been a single mother of two working full time in New York in a very stressful job and I have to cope simply because I’m setting an example for my girls.

  27. Kellie says:

    The real issue is people living a typical life, i.e. marriage and babies. You get married in your 20’s start having children and by 40 look around like WTH! You get married in your 30’s start having children and by 45 you look around like WTH! There are other options, you dont have to contribute to the “norm”

  28. KMD says:

    Hm this is an interesting article. I am pro marijuana, but for me, I think when children enter the picture that needs to stop. I think smoking when you are an adult is ok, but when a middle or high school age kid gets ahold of it, it can lead to other at risk behaviors. I do agree that it is better than drinking. However, you need to be responsible and sober around your children, especially when they are babies. Also, don’t smoke when you are pregnant. That is just plain stupid. Ok my opinion rant is done.

  29. Dany says:

    Reminds me of my husband who smokes at least 1 pack of cigarettes a day since more than 30 years. “I don’t have a problem with cigarettes – as long as I get them.” Yeah. Hahaha.

    Every drug influences your brain as a biocatalyst… to be happy, to get some relaxation, to cheer you up or cool you down. Sorry, but I have never seen people who could use drugs (legal or illegal) in an appropriate way – although I was always hoping for it. Kids realize much more than you think.

    What they actually see (when they’re old enough to realize) is that in fact you need something to improve yourself. That you’re not good enough just being a Mom or a Dad or whatever. That it’s perfectly fine to zap up your system.

    Big Pharma is already smiling and waiting for those soon to be customers with open arms.

    • Emily says:

      If I did not take painkillers every day, I would likely have killed myself by now. I take less than the doctor says I can, but I *must* have strong painkillers in order to avoid being a heap of nothing but pain. Your comment is ignorant and extremely unempathetic toward the many, many people who have conditions that cause us horrible pain 24/7.

      • Dany says:

        Emily, I’m talking ‘drugs’ of any kind people use by their own choice. It makes a huge difference if you have to take something regularly because you’re in pain and/or suffering from a disease or if you decide to smoke, drink or take pills for your own personal reasons. To my opinion this can easily develop into a balancing act… made me a widow at the age of 21, our baby boy was 10 months old.

        In the end everybody must know if smoking or enjoying a glass of wine could get sort of dangerous – some people can deal with it, but seems some folks just can’t.

        I am dealing with trigeminal neuralgia since almost 20 years – so please don’t call me ignorant.

      • TheOriginalTiffany says:

        Thank you. I have lived in constant back pain for 20 years. Have finally stopped all pain killers, but am still miserable. I have major gut issues as well. I am asthmatic and have to take two hormones. If I didn’t have my asthma and other meds, I would die. My pot is prescribed as well, what’s the difference?

        Some of us have medical conditions, please have some empathy for others. It’s a great quality in a human being.

        You should try cannabis if it is legal for your pain. It keeps me sane and off painkillers, which made me a much more unhappy person.

        Would THAT be good for my kids? Would it be good for them if I was bedridden and never eating, always depressed from the pain?

        Also, I wrote all these posts high and have a 162 IQ. Do I sound non functional to anyone?

        No one ever in these articles said to get super high in front of or while caring for kids. Blast me all you want, but I know I am a happy, functional person while high that can actually participate in life because of the herb. Sativa during the day is a picker upper anyway. Use indica to sleep or heavy pain. I have a doctor’s prescription for the stuff for goodness sakes!

      • Emily says:

        @Dany — You said legal or illegal, and I’ve seen so many blanket statements, including on here, saying that drugs are bad and wrong, I’m triggery. I’m sorry about your condition.

        @OTiff — It’s not legal, and in the state I live in, it’s not going to be legal any time soon. Shooting people because you claim you felt threatened, yes. Pot, no.

    • Mitch Buchanan Rocks! says:

      What about all those drug adverts promoting what is basically speed to make the children “suceed” – vyvanse, concerta, dexedrine and the parents who put their kids on these medications – this is getting them on the pharmaceutical addiction path at a young age and teaches them that they need to take something to make them sucessful.

      So is the parent who smokes weed a worse than the parent who gives their child speed so that they won’t have to do a little parenting work to help their kids with their homework issues?

      • Lindy says:

        I disagree with the idea that it’s ok to smoke weed everyday as a coping mechanism for adults just as much as I disagree with the idea that it’s ok to hop your kids up on prescription drugs to help a kid focus. I do think there are a small percentage of kids who genuinely have a condition that merits those drugs. But the majority of the time, I think parents should turn off the TV, get rid of game systems, chuck the ipad, and limit computer time to homework purposes only. No wonder no kid can pay attention with 3o different electronic devices for them to bounce around between.

        I know, controversial. But I have been a college prof for years and have watched the gradual decline of my students’ ability to stay focused and attentive in class without also surfing the web, being on their phones, etc. And the majority of the are also on ADD/ADHD drugs, and many of them have never been *off* those drugs since they were 3 or 4 years old! Sorry, but that can’t be normal or healthy. Something’s wrong with our entire society if we require mind-altering substances in such quantities, merely to cope. I don’t lay the blame with individuals, but rather with a culture that values profits and mindless toil above reflection and individual and community development.

  30. Chris: now with 10% less negativity says:

    As long as parents are functioning and look after their kids needs taking drugs in and of itself shouldn’t be a reason to judge someone. As for the “they’re not really present argument’ so what? Who is? It’s normal to vague out at times as a parent because parenting can be repeative and unstimulating. Anyone who says they’re mentally and emotionally present at all times is kidding themselves. I also agree that it’s hypocritical for pot to be illegal while booze isn’t. So I’m totes in favor of the legalization of pot. But I don’t see why the government or business should have to be involved to rake in revenue. I don’t think it’s essential to have either have one or the other (or both) always interfering in people’s lives.

  31. AlaskaJoey says:

    If you need to smoke to get to sleep, I don’t care. If you need to smoke because you have chronic pain from medical issues, I don’t care.

    If you smoke daily because parenting is “stressful” and laundry is “not fun”, you are a moron that doesn’t deserve to be a parent. Parenting is hard freaking work – if you aren’t prepared for 22 years of crap, don’t do it. I’m not a parent, because I didn’t want to put in that time.

    Growing up, my best friend’s parents were both addicts (alcohol for one, pills for the other). When I was very young, I knew something was “wrong” with them, but I didn’t know what. As I got older I figured it out. They were lousy parents, as you can imagine.

    • L says:

      THIS.
      I’m pro legalization (tax the heck out of it!), but using it all day every day to get through your kids coming home from school? To get through folding laundry? And not once in a while when it is to stressful, but every single time? Have to say no to that. And this is with a 8 and a 12 year old. What are you going to do when they are 14 and 17? If you can’t handle laundry at 8-you are going to have serious issues with a 14 year old.

      Long term illnesses/pain management, if it’s prescribed, or the occasional toke are completely different.

  32. GeekLuva says:

    It seems to me that the most adamantly opposed, mean spirited, and personalized attacks at this woman have come from people that drink. I have no children and I drink and toke so I’m seeing both sides of the argument. However the “it’s illegal” defense seems the weakest because it’s parroting something as opposed to getting to the nitty gritty of the debate. What about if its prescribed?

    • HK9 says:

      I believe the “it’s illegal” defense has something to do with giving institutions like child protective services the legal right to take away and or interfere with the rasing of your kids.

      I believe this woman loves her kids and if she wants to keep them and raise them the way she sees fit, doing illegal things give others the legal right to interfere with her life. BTW, perscription drug abuse is rampant and not any better, so I see her argument, but if the choice is steping away from a habit to make things less complicated, I would step away from the habit.

    • HK9 says:

      @TheOriginalTiffany

      My father was a functional alcoholic, and fooled everyone for years~everyone but his kids.

      • TheOriginalTiffany says:

        I have already had a frank discussion about it with my almost 15 year old. She has seen my prescription and understands why I take it.
        I am not ashmaed of it AT ALL. I am honest with my kids, my girl sees people get drunk at premieres, baseball games etc. she is a smart girl and understands the difference.
        She prefers a mom that isn’t throwing up blood and in bed and depressed. I just got done making homemade biscuits and am having quality kid time, all while multi tasking.

        It is about my meds, not about hiding something from my kids. Nice try.

  33. Lens says:

    I’m a mom, I smoke a J every night w/my husband after our kids go to bed. We both have great, well paying jobs. We also both know that If we didn’t smoke a J we’d be having a couple drinks…if we didn’t have the drinks, it would be xanax daily. Our primary care doctor knows we both smoke…she’s made it clear that she would prefer that then prescription anything…and neither of us smokes cigarettes. So to each their own..most people have something they use to take the edge off…the only thing that makes weed different is the legal status..and thats only because the gov’t hasn’t found a way to make millions off taxing it yet.

  34. Samihami says:

    Hmmm…I’ve always wondered about those who demonize pot. I’ve been doing it for 32 years. In that time I’ve managed to graduate from college with honors, maintain a successful marriage for 23 years, own a home, pay my taxes, volunteer, and live a very healthy and productive life.

    My brother in law, the alcoholic, died last week Monday. The death certificate says the cause of death was “continuous alcohol abuse.”

    I have never, ever…not even once-heard of pot causing someone to die. No overdoses. No liver failure.

    I have never understood why booze is legal, even though it’s so destructive. Yet, pot, which is fairly harmless, is demonized.

    • GeekLuva says:

      My sister is one of those people that demonize pot yet she has never toked. I think that’s the worst, the people that have no idea yet spout off with things like “pot will make you sterile, impotent, and destroys your life” to her pre-teenaged children. Yet knowing that I have experimented and am fine absolutly forbides me to tell that to her children because “they love you and respect you” and she “doesn’t want that to change”.

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        @ Greek-
        This kind of reminds me of the mandatory D.A.R.E (drug abuise resistance education) program that we took in junior high. Now, we had a very nice and funny police officer come into class everyday to teach us about the evils of alcohol and drugs including pot which was stigmatized as a “gateway drug”. I’ll never forget the insane scare tactics they used when describing marijuana. Once I got to college and started experimenting with weed, I realized how harmful that sort of teaching is. Simply put, it’s lying about the “frightening effects” of a drug in order to dissuade kids from trying it. The issue is that when/if a child finally DOES try pot, they realize that they were lied to and that in turn, may make them think that they were lied to about the harmful effects of ALL drugs, which opens them up to trying things they were previously too scared to try. In essence, lying to your children about the effects of pot really just sets them up to be disillusioned and embittered down the line. Much better to be honest and up-front with your kids imo.

  35. nikzilla37 says:

    Marijuana seems like the perfect drug for a frazzled mom. It really works! The only thing is, you better be prepared for your kids to turn into pot smokers too.

    • Emily says:

      Alcohol is legal because the societal costs of making it illegal are greater than the societal costs of leaving it legal. We tried making it illegal and it was a disaster. Besides, most people who drink, do so responsibly. I agree, there is absolutely no good reason for marijuana to be illegal.

  36. flourpot says:

    Not one person has brought up why marijuana is illegal. Look at hemp. Earliest form of cordage, grows to maturity in 3 years, seeds can be ground as meal or used as tea, it contains about 80% of our dietary essential fatty acids, more omega 3 than walnuts, the oil has anti-inflammatory properties, the hemp is made into clothing – it has anti-microbial properties, can be made into paper.

    Etc etc. We’ve been using this since 5th century B.C.

    What the hell!? Miracle plant, am I right?

    But it’s illegal. Why?

    Because it’s a controlled substance. Why? Because female plants bud and those buds contain THC which is smokeable. Enjoyably smokeably, I’ll say.

    Now the male plants, hell they just polinate. Nothing coming off of them is smokeable. Yet MJ, in general, in a federally controlled substance.

    Again, why? Politics and money.

    • AnnieN says:

      @flourpot – I actually wrote a paper on cannabis, covering many of the same issues you mentioned. My paper described the whole paper making process and all the chemicals used to make the pulp, which eventually made it into our drinking water.

      As long as lobbyist for big industries like paper, textiles, and pharmaceuticals exist, we will keep hearing about the dangers of cannabis but not the effects of paper and textile manufacturing on the environment; and the dangers of many pharmaceuticals that are being handed out to legally take the edge off.

      • Audrey says:

        You don’t need paper to smoke pot. Bongs and vaporizers are the best, safest way to smoke it anyway.

      • AnnieN says:

        @Audrey – I was referring to the hemp can be made into paper comment. I’m fancy, smoke out of designer JB glass 😉

  37. Alex'sMommy says:

    I don’t care what anyone says but I used to smoke (a lot) and it did mess with my life. I still (over four years after quitting) have issues with my memory, and it took me a lot longer than it should have to get my degree. Although I did get it. It isn’t so organic as everyone likes to think. Most of the really good hydro has chemicals and other additives. Not to mention that it is smoked without a filter do the damage it does to the lungs is a concern. You never meet a heroin addict who hasn’t tried pot. Unfortunately it truly is a gateway drug. There is no refuting it. Although you can say there are plenty of pot smokers who have never done anything else. I am glad to live my life without drugs. I am a mom of a 22 month old with another on the way. I (when not pregnant) have the occasional drink, but don’t think one is better or worse than the other. For the handful of people who can smoke and raise kids well, there are plenty who cannot. I have people in my family who are not preset parents for their kids. I am with the countless other people on here that have said if you need daily mind altering crap then you need to reexamine your priorities and life. If you have certain medical conditions I get it but for the average person I think daily pot, or alcohol, use is a cop out. You enjoy it and that is it.

    • Emily says:

      Just as there are people who can drink alcohol without problems, there are people who can smoke marijuana without problems. An awful lot depends on temperament and genetics. I’ve known many people who cannot drink only one glass of wine — they must get drunk every single time they drink any alcohol at all. But I’ve also known plenty of people (including myself) who can have one drink and not want any more for weeks. I believe pot is similar.

      • Sara says:

        Can I just point out that if a person drinks a glass of wine they are not drunk. Even if they slam that glass of wine (who does that?) it’s unlikely their BAL is going to go up high enough to impair them in any way. Most people can still legally drive a car after a glass of wine.

        I can’t say the same thing about smoking pot. After you smoke you are high. If you got pulled over the police could give you a DUI.

        Wine is not equivalent to pot. Many people drink wine for the taste and do not get drunk. I wouldn’t believe a person who told me they were smoking for the taste and not the high.

      • Emily says:

        I did not say people would get drunk from one glass of wine. I know *many* people who *cannot* drink only one glass of wine. They’ll say they had one or two glasses of wine when it’s really one or two bottles, they can’t remember which. Then they get behind the wheel of a car.

        I found this site which has a bunch of links to scientific studies on the effects of alcohol and marijuana: http://mphdegree.org/2010/marijuana-vs-alcohol-25-enlightening-studies-and-infographics/. I don’t think anyone should drive while impaired, but from the studies, it looks like marijuana usually doesn’t impair people very much at all while driving. Unlike alcohol. The statistics make sense from my experience, which is that people who only smoked pot that night will say, “nope, can’t drive, can I crash on your couch?” Whereas people who have been drinking alcohol will very often insist that they’re just fine, no problems at all, and do it for years and accident after accident after accident.

    • Dany says:

      @Emily: Agreed.

    • Dany says:

      @Alex’sMommy: Thank you.

    • Lira says:

      I agree with you. And also not everything “organic” is non toxic. There are organic things that can kill you, and some organic stuff that can leave you damaged too. I do not like all the excessive defending of drugs people do here because I know people who have been damaged because of organic and non organic drugs, and also because I live in a country whereyou see violence because of drug producing and trafficking (internally and to other countries).
      I do not say there are people who can enjoy some stuff as other enjoy a glass of wine or two, but there are those who don’t, and there is also the issue of how people get to have their stuff. Also, very few people I know who have used pot, have not crossed over to cocaine or other more powerful “organic” stuff.

      • TheOriginalTiffany says:

        I have never in my entire life used another illegal drug. Scared to death of them. Never.

        Another excuse failed. I know many who never did anything else.

    • Alex'sMommy says:

      Original Tiffany I never said everyone who smokes pot goes on to do other drugs, I never did anything else either but almost every other drug addict started with pot, it is a fact.

      • Emily says:

        No, it’s not a fact. I’ve known a *lot* of people who were addicted to alcohol, which is a drug. They started with alcohol. Alcohol is the most commonly abused drug by far, though prescription medications seem to be trying to catch up.

      • OriginalTiffany says:

        Please back up your statement with empirical facts. I’d love to read the study.

        Most people try alcohol and pot in school, are you calling that leading to other drug taking? I’d say they were going to experiment anyway.

        Links please?

      • Emily says:

        A University of Pittsburgh study says that the theory of gateway drugs is wrong, period, for both marijuana and alcohol: http://scienceblog.com/12116/study-says-marijuana-no-gateway-drug/

        Quote from the link:
        “This evidence supports what’s known as the common liability model, an emerging theory that states the likelihood that someone will transition to the use of illegal drugs is determined not by the preceding use of a particular drug but instead by the user’s individual tendencies and environmental circumstances.”

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        @ ALex’s Mommy- People that started with pot and went on to do harder drugs could have started with alcohol and gone on to do drugs. People who are interested in doing hard drugs will do the drugs period so please don’t blame it on marijuana. If it started with pot, it’s probably because pot is a universally more accesible drug.

      • Audrey says:

        Every drug addict started with milk. Gonna call that a gateway drug?? 😉

    • Chordy says:

      Let’s be real here. If there is a gateway drug, it is ALCOHOL! I’ve also never met a heroin addict that’s never had a drink. Additionally, I’ve never heard someone who is stoned go, “Do you know what would be awesome right now? A mountain of cocaine!” However, I, and other people I know, have tried cocaine because it seemed like an awesome idea when we were drunk, because we wanted to party for FOREVER. Stoned, I might want to dive head first into a pile of Doritos and Big Bang Theory reruns, but I’m not worried about a bunch of other drugs I want to do.

      Also, cocaine is teh evil. Stay away, kids. There’s a reason The Cracken is the way she is.

  38. Lindy says:

    I hate the mommy-wars judgy crap, I really do–because most of the moms I know, myself included, are really just trying to do their best, and provide for their kids.

    I get that it’s stressful, I get that there’s never enough time, or money, or help, or leeway. I definitely have a glass of wine maybe two or three times a week. It’s nice when I’m back from work and in for the night and cooking supper. But if I’m on my own with my kid, I’m always mindful that I need to be in control, and ready to handle anything that comes my way–ready to drive, or function, or be an adult.

    I just don’t think getting high is ok when you’re parenting. And I also don’t think getting buzzed is ok when you’re parenting. Save that for times when you’re on your own, or having a weekend away, or getting a sitter.

    One of the hardest things about parenting is that there’s just so little slack. There’s so little time when you can just escape from the responsibility and take a break from being on duty all the time. And that’s hard. But that’s also part of the deal when you become a parent. It’s called adulthood. And yes, it’s kind of a drag about 70% of the time. I do think that, if it’s gotten to the point where you can’t make it through a solid week without either alcohol or pot, then you need to do some soul-searching and figure out how to develop some more constructive, less damaging coping mechanisms.

  39. Evelyn says:

    My dad smoked and my mom drank, and I don’t really think you should be doing either while you’re actually caring for or in the presence of children. But I do think pot is less dangerous and made at least me feel like my dad was still mentally there just kind of spacey. I cannot stand drunk people because of my mom, and now I don’t even drink. But I always look at it as if something happened to your child in the middle of the night and they got sick or got hurt, you snap out of being high because something serious happened, an the same thing wouldn’t happen if you were drunk

  40. Chelsea says:

    As a mom who does both on occation I can tell you…as with ANY substance it is all about controling your intake. If you can’t keep a handle on your recreational use of either, you probably shouldn’t be enjoying them.

    We could argue that food addiction is just as damaging…if kids see mommy binge all the time and eat horrible foods and suffer weight related medical conditions you can’t TELL me that isn’t damaging to them, and their future eating habits. Same goes for pot and alcohol!

    However a controlled, responsible, occational and moderated usage? I see no problem. It all depends on the individual and the level of self-control. Some people shouldn’t touch either due to natural addictive personalities, and some people do quite fine.

    My father smoked a small amount of weed when I was growing up. He was honest and explained it in terms we could understand, never did it in front of me, and he was funny and relaxed.

    Kids are going to encounter a lot of crap in the world, why not show them that moderation in most things, and honesty, can be ok?

  41. Caoilfhionn says:

    I think I’m in the minority here. I never smoked pot as a high school student or while in college. However, I’ve always known people who did but never around me and quite frankly I never thought much about it. A few years ago while undergoing cancer treatment I was prescribed marijuana because I literally stopped eating. I was living off a handful of crackers a day and water. So my doctor asked me if I would try it and I said okay. After one week of using it two things changed about me: 1) I bought a watch with an alarm and made myself eat every four hours 2) I became a lot less tolerant of people who smoke marijuana on a regular basis. I have not touched it since and would not for any reason. I think its no different than popping pills or getting drunk. If someone smokes a lot but claims to live a normal productive life they are the equivalent of a functioning alcoholic (in my opinion). I generally consider what people do in the privacy of their own homes none of my business as long as it involves consenting adults. I just think its a shame though that someone would rather live in an altered world than working to make theirs better.

    • april says:

      I totally agree with you. I don’t want to be dependent on anything; food, alcohol, men, you name it. I don’t want to live in an altered state.

  42. Emily says:

    I’m completely for the legalization of marijuana and would very much like to try it myself for my pain.

    But defending it by saying “it’s natural!” is silliness. Plenty of things are natural that can kill us. Deadly nightshade. Poisonous mushrooms. Viruses and bacteria. Alcohol occurs naturally, without human interference, and animals get drunk off it. There is nothing about fermenting grapes that is “unnatural.”

    Absolutely everything is natural when you get down to it. Everything is derived from naturally-occurring sources. How much human interference there is between source and use doesn’t make something more or less good for you.

    • TheOriginalKitten says:

      The “it’s natural!” argument is most often presented in response to the categorization of marijuana as a “drug”. “Drug” being a very broad and encompassing term that includes, but is not limited to, synthetic subtances that are inherently harmful.
      If marijuana was legal, you would likely never hear people describe pot as a drug, much like you rarely hear people refer to alcohol like beer or wine as a drug. It’s technically still a drug, but it’s the “lumping in” with heroin, cocaine, meth, prescrip pills, crack etc that most pot-users object to. The cries of “it’s natural!” is a way of making a clear distinction between something like Meth, which is made in a lab, and weed, which I can grow in my garden.

  43. jc126 says:

    I knew there’d be a lot of replies from people who smoke pot and love to expound upon that at length, and who claim how no one knows and they aren’t affected by it blah blah. If it doesn’t affect your brain, you wouldn’t do it, there’d be no reward. I guarantee the people and kids around you can tell when you’ve been smoking, even if they don’t say anything.

    The “god-given plant” argument – toxic nightshade, poison ivy and as Emily points out, poisonous mushrooms are all “god given” and natural.

    • Emily says:

      Of course it affects your brain. But considering at least one person here uses it for purely medical purposes, I think you’re painting with a rather broad brush about the “reward” thing.

      The painkillers I take affect my brain too. If I didn’t take them I’d want to die because the pain would be so bad. My mind is not totally clear while I’m on them. So what’s the alternative?

      Alcohol also affects the brain. And liver, and heart, and kidneys, and etc.

      • jc126 says:

        Smoking pot everyday as a break from child rearing stress is not the same thing as a cancer patient smoking pot to deal with nausea and lack of appetite. I was speaking of the former category. And I don’t put people who claim to smoke it “medicinally” to deal with their “anxiety and stress” to be really in the same category as the cancer patient, just ftr. (Not that you said that, but I see those types on TV sometimes.)

      • Emily says:

        Psychological disorders are real disorders. There is a big difference between the normal anxiety of everyday living and an anxiety disorder. If pot helps with the latter, more power to them, it’s got a WAY lower death rate than prescribed anti-anxiety meds.

        If pot helps with the former, that’s fine too, so long as it’s used in moderation like anything else. Whenever anything takes over your life, be it drugs, exercise, sex, watching TV, work, whatever, then there’s a problem.

      • jc126 says:

        I work at an acute psych facility. I work with tons of people who suffer from anxiety. It is still nowhere near as dire or serious a condition as cancer. People with anxiety need to learn coping skills and possibly get either a daily prescription for meds, or less optimally, rescue meds. I am not 100% opposed to self-treating anxiety with pot – within reason and not when you’re driving or something like that – but marijuana is NOT a coping skill. Sometimes people just use that excuse because they want a justification for liking to get high.

    • Esmom says:

      It’s not easy to hide when you’ve been getting high, the eyes are a dead giveaway.

    • Kim says:

      I tried different types of drugs in my youth, sometimes the same ones more than once and nothing ever negatively affected me as much as the pain killers my oral surgeon prescribed after I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I had to be taken to the emergency room! Never had that happen with an illegal drug. Just because something is legal doesnt make it safe and vice versa.

      We need to be careful when using the terms legal and illegal drugs. The pharmaceutical companies are government oked drug dealers – period.

      I worry about any parent taking illegal or legal drugs everyday with children in their care.

    • Kim says:

      Lets be real, these days unless you grow it yourself, marijuana is chemical. They put so much crap into it. That said pharmaceutical drugs ARE legal and couldnt be more synthetic. They are also more addictive & more dangerous than marijuana.

    • Wom says:

      I’m so tired of the “it’s just an herb, man” justification for pot use. I don’t see anyone using this ridiculous excuse to use opium or psilocybin mushrooms.

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        Actually, it’s not “just an herb” it’s actually a weed. If it’s growing on my roof deck next to my tomatoes and Basil, yes it IS natural and no it is NOT full of chemicals. Again, people need to educate themselves about MJ, otherwise you just look silly.

  44. Joanna says:

    Same thing to me. Yes, stoners are more mellow but they are still impaired even after just a puff, just like someone who drinks a glass of wine. tomatoes, tomatoes, same thing. i remember walking into a closet one time when i was stoned, thinking it was the doorway. that was some good stuff! don’t think it would be a good idea for me to take care of kids at the time, though.

  45. Suzy (from Ontario, Canada) says:

    Mom who smokes pot daily calls out drunk moms: fair or no different?
    ————————

    Two wrongs don’t make a right! A Mom looking after young ones shouldn’t be toking or drinking while she has that kind of responsibility! Smoke a joint or have a drink when you’re out with friends and your kids are home and being cared for with someone responsible.

  46. Suzy (from Ontario, Canada) says:

    I was a full time Mom to two boys, as well as homeschooled them until highschool (they are both adults now in university) so I GET that being with kids all day long without a break can be difficult in a lot of ways. Believe me, I get it! LOL! But having smoked a few joints as a teenager way back in the dark ages, I also know how I felt high and I would never be comfortable with the responsibility of a baby or child/ren in that kind of altered state. Sure, maybe this woman can sit and play blocks for hours while high, but what if there was an emergency? Things happen with kids all the time. They fall and knock out teeth, they fall off playground equipment, they touch things they shouldn’t and burn themselves, etc. When something happens you need to be able to react quickly and think clearly.

  47. MandyLee says:

    I really relate to some of your stories….I’m an average wife and mom who has struggled to cope with living in near constant agony due to chronic migraine. This condition destroyed all that was good in my life (health, job, marriage) and left me hopelessly depressed and dependent on a wickedly toxic mix of prescription drugs, just to be functional. I was self-administering opiate injections at home for pain, as per dr’s orders, as well as taking anti-seizure medication and beta blockers as prophylactic measures, to no avail. A 3 month course of injectable and oral steroids (prednisone) proved to offer temporary relief, but, can only safely be used for a few months before treatment must be discontinued! I also had to have an MRI performed every 6 months due to the risk of permanent, non-reversible liver damage that results from the use of valproic acid. I was never a drinker and had no tolerance whatsoever for potheads! At the age of 31, a specialist recommended I try cannabis and I am forever indebted to him for literally saving my life. I have smoked twice daily for a decade now, and take no meds at all. I truly wish i could let others know that my miracle cure has less to do with my yoga, meditation and Buddhist study, than they realize. I don’t fear judgement, I only fear persecution….

  48. mommaq says:

    If you cant obey the law, close your legs. As a taxpayer I have enough to cover like your welfare , without paying for your foster care, social workers, and rehab.

    • AnnieN says:

      @mommaq – “If you cant obey the law, close your legs. As a taxpayer I have enough to cover like your welfare , without paying for your foster care, social workers, and rehab.”

      Really? That is quite an ignorant statement. I have never collected any type of assistance, even when I was sick. I live in the wealthy part of town, in a new house, we have fancy cars and just about every material possession that would classify us as upper middle class – and I’m a pot smoker. I’m am also educated and continue to pay for my school loans to this day. Just by your responses (all 3 of them, one under another name which is a Celebitchy no-no) I can infer that you missed the whole point of this discussion. Where was public assistance even mentioned in the article?

  49. mommaq says:

    If you cant obey the law, close your legs.

    • Embee says:

      And the prize for nonsequitor goes to: mommaq!

      And don’t any of you dare have children out there unless you are absolutely perfect.

      Look, it’s not about one thing in parenting, whether it be a glass of wine or two, a toke, or child-free vacations. That’s my problem with looking at something as narrow as marijuana usage as an absolute indicator of parental worthiness. Every parent does some things well and others not so much.

      For every “pothead” mom there is undoubtedly at least one “superstressed robo-mommy” who is equally absent mentally, equally indifferent to her child’s emotional state, but due to her own personality, not a substance.

  50. katetabor says:

    If you cant obey the law, close your legs.

  51. bored says:

    So annoying. In my experience people who ‘smoke up’ a lot are often defensive about thier habit by comparing it with alcohol. Marijuana is not ‘better’ than alcohol. If you are home smoking it up with the kids underfoot you have problems. Sure, you might have more wits about you than someone who is blackout drunk (most people who enjoy a drink aren’t drunk all the time either, people) but you are in no position to judge others either. If anytihng regular pot use is a shade worse because people have the perception they are in better control of the situation than they really are. AND it’s just gross and yes, people are judging you even if they aren’t saying anything outright. I’ve used both pot and alcohol recreationally like most people but there is a certain point when you have to grow up, put that selfish crap away and take care of your family. It’s not okay to need to get high (or drunk) during the day with your baby in the house. There’s always the odd grown-up get together if you need to indulge in time to time.

    • Alex'sMommy says:

      Agree 100%.

    • Emily says:

      People who use alcohol think they have better control of the situation than they do, and they’re usually more more wrong about how impaired they are than people who have smoked marijuana are. This isn’t just my personal experience in observing both alcohol and marijuana users as a 100% sober person — it’s backed up by studies.

      Anything can be abused. People let their baby die over a video game, ffs. But alcohol is more often and more badly abused than marijuana, its health effects are worse, and its effects on society are worse. I don’t smoke marijuana, only tried it once in fact, but I’ve read plenty of scientific studies, and it’s just a fact that marijuana is generally WAY less dangerous than alcohol. Alcohol is the second-most deadly drug, after heroin. Marijuana is linked to cause of death only slightly more often than *aspirin*, in the UK at least. In the U.S., the CDC apparently doesn’t even bother to track how many deaths are due to marijuana because the numbers are so small.

      I don’t think alcohol should be made illegal. We tried that once and it was a mess. But I do think marijuana needs to be legalized. I also think that all the misinformation about how harmful marijuana is leads kids to distrust authorities about drugs. “They told me pot would do all these horrible things, and it doesn’t, so why should I believe them about alcohol or heroin?”

      • AnnieN says:

        Don’t get me started on Aspirin, I almost died from severe blood loss after being prescribed NSAIDs. Long story short, the ER doc told me “whoever prescribed it to you is in big trouble!”.

      • Chordy says:

        Check out fancy pants, Emily, and her science facts! Unfortunately I can’t hear you over all of my preconceived notions supported by anecdotal judgements based on incomplete knowledge of the situation I”m throwing my shade at.

        Joking aside, I have endometriosis, and the amount of Ibuprofen I used to take did permanent damage to my stomach (yeah, I overdid it, but PAIN!) I was then prescribed vicodin and percocet (I saw upthread that you’ve had the perc experience). Both were hell on my body and mind. Just awful. However, I’m off all that now, and I control my pain with weed. It also helps with my stomach issues, and some days it’s the only thing that lets me keep food down. It’s AMAZING for chronic nausea. It doesn’t totally kill the pain the way the hard pharms do, but it manages it, and it allows me to have a far better quality of life than my alternatives.

      • Emily says:

        Actually I was wrong about the aspirin thing. It looks like the UK and US track this stuff differently, I’m trying to figure it out. But there are precisely zero known deaths caused by marijuana as tracked by the CDC.

    • AnnieN says:

      But @Chordy, you are just not trying hard enough! I’m sure if you chased your vicodin & percs with some zofran for the nausea and some other pills to deal with the GI side effects of the above cocktail you could find a legal way to deal no? 😉

  52. vanessa says:

    I just have to comment as a mother who smokes pot. I smoke pot for medicinal purposes. I have anxiety, especially when it comes to dealing with my stubborn, hyper, four year old. If I can, I will have a couple hits before and it calms me down so much. I can focus on cleaning, cooking, playing and anything else that needs done. I don’t think she was calling out mothers who drink, I think she was calling out the mothers who drink to excess around their children, but then pass judgement on pot smoking mothers. If I were to drink to excess around my daughter, there’s no way I could focus, play or do anything that needs to be done. I don’t smoke everyday or around her, and feel I’m a great mother. Just my two cents!

    • the original bellaluna says:

      MMJ is legal in my state, but I don’t think it is in TN. And I don’t think people are talking about MMJ users. (I know a lot of people think MMJ is BS, but it does have medicinal uses and not everyone who uses MMJ is a weed-fiend.)

      I think people don’t realise there are two kinds of highs: body and mind. And, just like with RX drugs, different people are effected different ways.

      I prefer edibles over smoking, as I have asthma and allergies, and the cough kills me.

      Basically, if you’re not going overboard and it helps you to be more relaxed with the epic baby fuckery, I don’t judge you.

  53. Sweettart says:

    The lie in their position is that it is “harmless” and “nontoxic.”

    It impairs short term memory. It impairs judgment. Is that the state someone should be in when they are taking care of children? If I wouldn’t accept it in a child care provider, why would it be acceptable for me to do it?

    The irony is that this drug they are taking to “relax” actually increases paranoia.

    Studies have also shown that in people who have a family history schizophrenia, it can trigger earlier onset.

    For adults, once they stop smoking, most of the effects go away. However, the really scary thing is for teens, that doesn’t appear to be true. It actually makes their brains less efficient. They have to work harder to perform cognitive functions.

    Besides all the mental aspects, smoking anything isn’t good for you. It will can cause asthma and other respiratory problems.

    Is someone doped up on Xanax or wasted any different?

    No, but don’t try to pass pot off as “harmless.”

    All any of those are doing is masking the underlying problems, which don’t go away just because you’re drugged up.

    • jc126 says:

      Have you ever met people who’ve smoked pot for decades? It’s as if their brains have been on a slow burn for that long, which I guess they have been.

      • Kim says:

        I would never condone drinking or smoking when caring for kids BUT I have known several adults who smoked their whole lives and I have never seen this “slow burn.” In fact one of them has the best memory of anyone Ive ever known. I just havent seen what these supposed “studies” say in any long term smoker.

    • OriginalTiffany says:

      Studies please? I can post a million on prescriptions, obesity, alcohol, hard drugs and tobacco.

      Please show me the AMA (who approves of legalization) studies. Any studies?

      Crap, I have dental phobia and I have to go now. I am not only going to have to toke but take valium. I have a crown that has to be changed and some other stuff. I hate the dentist, I don’t get numb. Cracktinis? A triple?

      We have a big dinner and show tonight too. My mouth better be OK. Seeing Blue man Group, they swapped tickets with us.

      • the original bellaluna says:

        *passes Tiff a triple* Good luck, girl!

      • gg says:

        Tiffany, don’t get stoned before you go to the dentist. Tried it once, not a good idea. lol

      • TheOriginalTiffany says:

        I’ve got the sads. Need whole pitcher. Waited so long because we were out of country and not in one city long enough to fix. Soooo, my tooth with the crown need to be pulled and a dental implant put in and now the molar in front has decay under if from the back tooth. So this denta phobic is going to have to wait with a loose crown until DC, get multiple surgeries and crap. Argh! I cried. I hate the dentist. Maybe now that I’m off painkillers, I’ll get numb?
        Boohoo!

      • the original bellaluna says:

        OTiff, that so sucks. I’m sorry. Here’s the pitcher.

  54. the original bellaluna says:

    If I can deal with a screaming-mee-mee 3-year-old; two video-gaming, Mountain Dew guzzling, Cheeto-eating teenagers; an unhappy husband; and the two Furry Barfing Wallendas (cats) ALL DAY LONG, ANYONE should be able to deal with one or two kids and their needs.

    I’m not judging anyone, as long as they are NOT putting their children at risk.

    But if you pull some stupid shit and put your kids at risk, the gloves come off!!

    • Esmom says:

      Lol, love the visual of your family. I hear you.

      • the original bellaluna says:

        My step-son and nephew are on day three of a video-game-athon. My kittehs are on a RX diet for thyroid conditions. My husband is rarely home, and when he’s home, he’s not HERE. (You know?) Toddles is a force of nature unto himself. And today is the first day it may not hit 100+.

        Let’s just say I understand the argument, both for and against. 😉

    • AnnieN says:

      @the original bellaluna – please let me know if you ever find a cure for cat puke-itis. I have 3 and they are wreaking havoc on my carpets! Tried the treats, the GNC stuff, the brushing, everything. I just gave up and bought a carpet cleaner but who wants to steam their carpets every week :/

      • the original bellaluna says:

        AnnieN – Try Petromalt (works for hairballs). If it’s just fat hairy bitches who binge and purge (like mine) I have no solution, other than the steam cleaner. Sorry. 🙁

        But I have learnt to listen for the the older one’s meows – she does this Siamese-in-heat-death meow before she yacks. I take her into the loo, hold her (lovingly) over the commode, and it eliminates much of the mess. 😉

      • gg says:

        Re Puking Cats:

        @Bella – puking Wallendas – lmao! It also makes me a bit sad, because my puking cat finally puked her last. She also did the “singing” I called it. Sounds like, “LOEW, LOEW, LOEW …”

        Anyway, watch the cats and make sure they’re not also losing weight, especially if they were fat originally. Cats’ systems can’t process losing a lot of weight rapidly and can die from it. I feel like if I’d realized she’d started losing weight, maybe we could’ve helped her.

      • Emily says:

        I have one cat whom I swear enjoys throwing up. She seeks out things that will make her do so, like pieces of plastic that we do our best to keep from her, but she’s a cat, she can figure these things out. Her weight’s fine, she’s healthy, she’s just got this weird hobby.

      • the original bellaluna says:

        Awww, gg, I’m sorry. The older one actually has lost weight, hence our un-planned trip to the vet – it was her thyroid. So both girls are on the RX crunchies, but the old boot gets RX meat too. (The younger one gets regular meat.)

      • gg says:

        Bella – Glad you had them looked at and they’re okay! Puking cats are a mystery.

  55. Lucy2 says:

    I think the effects of alcohol are far worse,but personally I wouldn’t use anything to the point of impairment while taking care of kids. Using pot moderately to deal with pain or some other medical condition? Sure. Getting buzzed everyday so the laundry isn’t boring? No.
    I take issue with her calling the wine moms pathetic, because she is doing the exact same thing as them- using a substance to cope with their families. I don’t think either is anything to brag about.

  56. MandyLee says:

    I do not advocate for the legalization of marijuana, only the decriminalization of it for medical use….Those who take their good health for granted, would be well advised to not be so quick to judge others. If it weren’t so patently offensive, I’d have to laugh in the faces of every judgmental, yet,utterly clueless fool I’ve had to tolerate listening to spewing their venomous tirades against the evils of pot smokers. Instead I nod, smile and trust that karma will take care of them…

  57. Kim says:

    The last line says it all: Whether a mom chooses wine or pot to take the edge off her day, how she uses the drug is important to consider.

    I dont consider one better or worse than the other or either one “bad” but doing either one every day signals an addiction and doing either with children in the house isnt a good idea. They both decrease alertness & could affect how one would act in an emergency situation.

    If you need either one to cope EVERYDAY you have bigger issues and need help.
    Save drinking & smoking for rare times when you feel like letting loose & you have no children in your care.

  58. Ari says:

    I personally feel that if its illegal and you have kids, you should probably not do it. Because if you are caught or some schmuck rats you out, you can go to jail and easily lose your kids. It’s really not about the parents issues, its about the kids. The problem with alcohol abuse is that its legal so people can drink it, house it, buy it whatever and it won’t cause IMMEDIATE jeopardy. Obviously the person in-taking it can be an issue but on the whole, it won’t affect anything just trying to get it. I do believe in the legalization of marijuana because that way, no-one will get into trouble for having this very low-key, NATURAL drug in their possession and everyone can go on their merry way.

  59. Wom says:

    I don’t see how modern mothers using pot is any different from mothers in the fifties using “mother’s little helpers,” aka speed or valium. Mothers justifying habitual pot usage by deflecting criticism toward people who drink, slagging off their children, or equating it with a natural-remedy is sad and unconvincing.

    • Emily says:

      Speed and valium are significantly more dangerous, addictive, and impairing than marijuana.

      It looks to me like this particular woman in this article does have a problem with abusing marijuana. If she needs it to be able to fold laundry, and it’s not because she’s using it as a palliative for a medical condition, I think she might have depression, and she’d be better off with cognitive therapy than with pot. But it’s perfectly possible, and even common, to use marijuana moderately and responsibly.

  60. aang says:

    whatever, all parents screw up in some ways. i’d rather have a mellow high parent than the angry mean drunk bastard i had to deal with.

  61. Aubra says:

    …well if that aint the apple calling orange fruity…SHUTUP!!!

  62. amoi says:

    im way late in the discussion…Pot is in no way as dangerous and damaging as alcohol. that’s all.

  63. littlestar says:

    In my opinion, pot is no worse than alcohol (for the most part). I live in Canada, and am all for legalizing having small amounts of marijuana in a person’s possession. It just makes sense. I have no problem if you are a recreational user either, and the same goes if it is needed for medicinal purposes.

    But I do have to say that my opinion on pot has changed a bit over the last year. My best friend and her husband are real stoners – they smoke it every day. They also have a child who turned 1 a few months ago. They can barely make ends meet, are so far behind in their bills (my bf’s cell phone cut off because she was 3 months behind in paying it – this was 4 months ago – it’s still not paid and it’s still off!), live in an old rented town house, don’t own anything nice (yes, I realize this is judgemental, but they are 28 and 34, you’d think at that age they’d at least have some decent furniture), hell, my bf doesn’t even have a decent oufit to wear! She tells me she’s sad that everyone in our group of friends now owns their own home, and they are still renting, that she feels like sometimes they won’t get out of the hole they are in. I apologize for rambling here, but it pisses me off that she’s willing to live in poverty just so she can smoke pot every day!!! It’s mind boggling to me because it’s like she doesn’t realize that if she gives up smoking pot EVERY DAY, they may be able to save money and eventually buy their own home. I just don’t understand how a drug can be more important than having a good life and being able to experince it SOBER.

    And I’m not trying to generalize all pot smokers, but it is beyond ridiculous how some basically become slaves to it!

  64. Swann says:

    Just to say, people seem quick to judge people who want some alteration of consciousness, some escape when faced with the long hard slog of hanging around your family. But what was Jesus’s first miracle? Turning water into wine. And why? Because he went with his mother to the wedding. God wants you make it through those family gatherings with a little help from the bounty of his creation, i.e., plants. Otherwise Jesus wouldn’t have chosen it for his big first album coming out miracle. Personally, I think a lot of people are self-medicating with plants and when I form an opinion on that one, I look to Jesus again and say judge not lest ye be judged. Who is to say that slightly drunk mom isn’t kinder and more tolerant? You? We all make trade-offs in this life.

  65. mayamae says:

    It’s funny how everyone is so defensive of their own vice yelling, “Don’t you judge me!”, yet managing to throw in judgement of another person’s vice.

    What I mean by that, is for instance, stating you use pot daily and there is nothing wrong with it because you function perfectly – not like those pharma users or alcohol drinkers. And vice versa.

    Those who ask for tolerance need to examine themselves sometimes to make sure they are tolerant as well. And throwing in personal attacks only unnecessarily escalates the tension. I bet most of us believe we do the best that we can to manage stress and get through the day. I have had my own issues in the past so I am not judging those who are like me but have found other means to handle life. Every vice has it’s negatives.

    In my experience, it can be difficult sometimes to post here. Especially if you dare have an opposing opinion – even one well thought out. And God forbid if you disagree with someone in a clique because they come down on you en masse. I’m sure it’s wonderful to be supported here but that doesn’t mean you have to automatically attack someone disagreeing with your friends. It’s especially unfair to those of us who are on permanent moderation. Anything I say is censored yet your attacks come at me unfiltered.

    • Jayne says:

      I agree.
      Everytime that pot is the topic in a CB thread, I am appalled at the lax attitude of quite a few towards using this drug. I have never used, and I have been curious at times, but truly, I would not buy something that helps an activity involved in so many ugly things. I really hope that what you use is home grown or “cruelty” free. As in “no humans were killed and abused during the making and transportation of your product”.
      Many humans, not only adults, also die and suffer for this trade, for dominating getting all kinds of organic and non organic stuff into other countries, the markets, etc.

      • Emily says:

        I think that is at least partly because it is illegal. I can’t pretend to know how much things would improve if it were legal, considering how much blood and slavery goes into so many of the products we buy perfectly legally, but I don’t see how it could get worse.

        Speaking of avoiding products made with slave labor, my fiancé just handed me an organic fair trade dark chocolate bar :D.

      • ZenB!tch says:

        I’m not advocating pot use – please keep it away form me – IT STINKS. However, all that bad stuff is because it’s illegal.

      • Emily says:

        I can’t stand marijuana smoke either, it makes my throat hurt, but there are ways to imbibe it without the smoke. Oddly, while being around lots of pot smoke makes my throat hurt at the time, it doesn’t make me feel bad later. Whereas if I’m around even a small amount of cigarette smoke, I have cold symptoms for the next two days.

      • Jayne says:

        It is illegal and when you buy it you are endorsing and funding gangs that have a long way to make bad things, violent things, from gun smuggling, to using children as vigilantes or killers, and a big etc. It is a dream, but if you are going to use it, grow it yourself. Do not promote this commerce.
        I find funny how a lot of people get angry about animal mistreating or buying counterfeit, or worry about illegalities overseas, but continue funding these awful gangs that kill families, specially in the countries that are in The routes o their countries where they consume it. I am not talking about slave labor, but during the process of moving the stuff, there is practically a war. How do you think it gets to your town? Even much of what is produced in your countries is funded and owned by gangs. Choose well who to buy from, please. Do not make these people richer.

    • gg says:

      @mayamae – I think we could all use that as a reminder to be a bit more tolerant of others. People simply stating their own opinion is one thing – slagging off others’ views and generalizing is quite another. We are all different folk with different daily lives and different bodies and some things are just relative.

      IMHO. lol

    • Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

      I agree with what you’re saying.

      The thing about blog cliques is that the bonds that posters form are based on admiration or some kind of like-mindedness. It’s not about social pressure or geopgraphical convenience or striking while the iron’s present, it’s an exchange of ideas with people with whom you’ve chosen to engage. You get stuck with a lot of people in your life, money is frequently exchanged, you only see certain aspects of people and the whole enterprise of forced co-habitation makes you take on some pretty unalluring habits or make nicey-nice with people with who make you want to explode into an unbreaking strea of pejoratives, but you can’t.

      You don’t have to be professional or civil on the internet, there’s no accountability, it’s largely anonymous and provides a space for unloading. People don’t like it? You can relocate to a different site, the internet is your personal breakroom, right?

      I can’t think of a single place, online or other that doesn’t section off into cliques and loners but if someone insults your chosen, it’s a feeding frenzy. Even if this isn’t ‘real life’, I’ve frequently thought on one blog or another, ‘I’m not running for Empress of India, but I wish someone would have at least spoke out on my behalf when someone attacked me.’ That feeling only intensifies if the siterunners and/or moderators enjoy a relaxed bonhomie with the posters and do the same thing. It’s not *real life*, but it does feel like officialdom is tacitly approving that kind of alienation because they don’t step in when the abused aren’t members of The Crew. You do feel undervalued and invisible sometimes when it happens. I imagine that if one does try to advocate on his/her own behalf, s/he is summarily dismissed as being humourless or trying to control other people’s opinions when the only thing you’re intending to do is to stick up for your right to not be attacked, especially when those who could stop or discourage that of vile behaviour is conveniently looking away. If that isn’t a ‘Thanks for typing what we’ve been thinking’ action, then such a thing doesn’t exist. A very sad conclusion to make about people who are well past grade seven, is that what adult people generally do, and if so why didn’t anyone warn me…or smack them?

      I don’t know.

      Dignity: Yours to have and defend, even on the internet.

  66. Shannon says:

    As someone who has struggled with the devastating affects from alcohol abuse and addiction, I believe alcohol is the worst offender and causes far more harm then marijuana. The reason I say this is alcohol seriously impairs your judgement and can cause black outs. During one of my own black outs, I destroyed a friend of mine’s house. I basically turned into a raging lunatic who started throwing things around. To this day, I cannot remember what triggered this or what exactly happened. Marijuana does not do that and perhaps the worse thing that may occur is extreme lethargy.

    In regards to this story, I think it’s okay for parents to smoke weed for stress-relief. In my mind, there is no difference between marijuana and other prescribred depressants/relaxants, i.e. lorazempam, valium, klonopin, etc. Except that marijuana is easier to kick then those prescription drugs.

    • Shannon says:

      “To this day, I cannot remember what triggered this or what exactly happened,” it’s called alcohol-induced psychosis. It can happen to anyone. At a certain level of intoxication people can just snap. I had to call the police to have a friend involuntarily committed to the hospital for overnight observation once because of it, for her own safety and that of others; she had been threatening to kill herself and attacked a few people.

      • Shannon says:

        That’s basically what happened to me. I woke up in a hospital and then was transferred to a pyschiatric hospital for a 72-hour hold. I couldn’t believe some of the things my friend (who thank God is still a friend) said I did. I still can’t believe it.

        “Wine hath drowned more men then the sea” Thomas Fuller

  67. blondie10101 says:

    No matter what anyone says, pot is still a drug! No matter what “effects” that pro-legalization people want to advertise, weed is illegal and can get you in trouble with the law. This mom is worse than an alcoholic mother.

    • busy ramone says:

      You are such an idiot. lol

    • Emily says:

      I don’t know enough about this mom in particular to say. But I do know, intimately, what having an alcoholic parent is like. A very high-functioning alcoholic parent who never physically abused me, but still could not manage to put his daughter before alcohol. It is not something I would wish on anyone. It’s a horrible way to live, it leaves deep and lasting scars, and I had it good compared to a lot of children of alcoholic parents.

    • Shannon says:

      Here you get the equivalent of a parking ticket if you’re caught with a personal amount. I’m not sure if that really qualifies as “trouble with the law.” I realize it’s different in other states, but here it’s not a big deal. At all.

      In fact, I’ve been caught with weed before and the cop didn’t even bother with the ticket or confiscating it because we hadn’t been smoking it in the car. He just said to make sure to smoke it in our own home and not drive afterward.

  68. Steph says:

    While I agree that being high doesn’t hinder one’s ability to care for and hang out with a kid, the pure and simple fact is it is illegal. The Mother who smokes pot runs the risk of going to jail, losing her kid, and raising a child who believes it is okay to break the law. The drinking, when done excessively, will hinder ones ability to parent…BUT IT’S LEGAL. If pot were legal, I would consider their point of view, as of right now, I think they are morons who are putting themselves above their kids well being.

    • Nicolette says:

      So because alcohol is “legal” is it okay for a boozed up Mom to be driving her kids around, or do you think they would fare better with her taking a toke of that insidious illegal marijuana?

      • gg says:

        I think she is only saying that going to jail isn’t worth getting high. Not that it’s okay to drive impaired.

      • Steph says:

        ummm…driving drunk is illegal as well…and I never said pot was “insidious”, in fact, were it legal, I would smoke it from time to time. I also believe that it’s insane that alcohol and cigarettes are legal and yet pot isn’t. I have used all three at varying points in my life and feel that pot is the least dangerous.

      • Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

        If you want to think that she just said that she that condones drunk driving, have fun with that. What I believe she was talking about is the calculated risk taken on by someone who breaks a law. I don’t think that whether one agrees with that law was relevant to the statement.

      • orion70 says:

        That’s a bit of a jump.

        I also think that depending on where you live and who is selling, you’re unnecessarily putting yourself and your family into contact with criminally active individuals.

  69. dholmas says:

    Interesting comments. I probably could not tell you how long I have smoked pot. My husband and I own our home, he is an engineer with a Masters and I own and operate my own business. I would never smoke in front of children just as I would not over imbibe in alcohol. But I do like a few tokes in the morning before going to the shop. You would be amazed at what I can do to a piece of furniture. LOL. Smoked with my boss for years. Morning routine. We always got the work done and I am still dealing with the same designers, decoraters and antique dealers. Some people really need to do their research a bit better.

  70. Nicolette says:

    Pot is NOT addictive. There are NO “withdrawl” symptoms whatsoever. That is nothing but a lie. ALCOHOL is addictive, destructive, kills, destroys your liver among other parts of your body, and impairs your judgement greatly. You cannot say the same about pot.

    Cigarettes kill. They destroy the human body, and that’s a fact. If I would be out for a night smoking, my throat would burn like hell the next day, my chest would hurt, my voice would be raspy, and my clothes and hair would smell like an ashtray. Disgusting. I quit smoking them 14 years ago, cold turkey and THEY put me through a withdrawl. I felt horrible for a month and put on 10 pounds. I’ll never touch another one again, and I can’t stand the smell of them.

    Pot has NEVER had those effects on me. And yes, I have stopped and never felt any kind of withdrawl. It is not a “gateway” drug, as many would like you to believe. I have smoked it on and off for years, and I never “graduated” to more hardcore drugs. Never wanted to.

    Look, we have all seen pot smoking scenes MANY times in movies. How is everyone depicted in those scenes? Relaxed, laughing and just having a good time. Right? No one is going on a rampage, beating their kids or wife, driving recklessly, or suffering withdrawl.

    They will NEVER legalize it because they would rather you smoke cigarettes, drink yourself into oblivion, or pop some pills. They want society to be all jacked up on that stuff. To have us calm, happy, laughing and relaxed? Never. Think how much money Big Tobacco, the pharmaceutical companies, the breweries, and those who produce alcohol would lose. Billions if not more.

    How many of you can say you don’t do, or have never done ANYTHING? Drink, smoke pot, or pop a pill. I bet not many.

    Smoking a little at the end of the day to take the edge off and help me sleep, doesn’t have anything to do with my performance during the day. My household duties are met, and my kids are clean, happy and well fed and taken care of. And it makes things more fun with the hubby as it serves as an aphrodisiac as well:)

  71. justsayin... says:

    LOVING this post…here it goes…I too smoke marijuana daily…I too am mother of 15 and 12 year old…son has autism…daughter tourettes…i too suffer from biploar and tourettes…i went to college at 16…have raised my special needs children with specific attention to each of their unique needs…medicine management…school curicullum modifications and accomidations…doctor visits…emotional needs…ect…throughout my life i have been on various prescription meds with extreme ADVERSE effects…side effect of pot for me is extreme BRAVO tv viewing….thats about it…never have i been on med that helped without hurting me…marijuana DOES have medicinal properties…i dont spend my mortgage, food, bill $ on weed…potsmokers budget their smoke…usually have great connection…no street corners…affordable….not case with LEGAL substances…alcoholics drink up house and home…kill people everyday going to get their vice…not speaking to those who drink “responsibly”….so shut up

    • Nicolette says:

      I TOTALLY HEAR YOU!!!! My 8 year old son is ADD/Asperger’s and as a special needs Mom yourself I don’t have to tell you how stressful and exhausting it can be. I meet every need he has, and he is thriving, does very well in school (90’s and above), is in one of the top classes and just made the honor roll in June. I have spoken with doctors and educators who as well as I, do not approve of the meds they want to force upon these kids. If taking a few tokes at the end of the night helps ME be more relaxed to deal with the challenges, so be it.

  72. Hannah says:

    To each their own. Everything effects everyone differently, from pot to opinions. I say: do what works best for you but always keeping your loved ones from harm and unhappiness. I believe that pot is the least harmful “drug” out there and should be integrated more into medicinal use re: it’s proven effectiveness. Prescription drugs are sh*t, and alcohol makes morons out of decent people. Whether people choose to use or not, and it’s neither effecting you physically or mentally, it is their own choice, and that’s the way it is!

    • gg says:

      The best post on here. ^
      To each his/her own indeed.

      And I want to say to everyone dealing with pain and disease,my heart goes out to you. I have dealt with very serious medical conditions and am better now, but I well remember what it was like, and cannabis helped me greatly. But it should be taken responsibly. (duh)

  73. Rachel says:

    I am for legilization of marijuana for purposes of government/economy but really cigarettes, weed, drinking, and all those other drugs are all the same besides their effects (it messes you up somehow and when overused has effects on your body). I am talking about recreational not medical use. I used to smoke weed everyday only at night maybe in the morning (no I wasn’t a couch potato or hippie with a sad life) I was a healthy normal functioning mom, wife, friend, co-worker, anything you can think of. My kids had excellent grades, and I got so much comments about how great they were, but I knew they could tell I was smoking because they’re not dumb and have learned so much about drugs and other stuff they can detect it, but I was embarassed to tell them. I smoked it for about I don’t know 17 years. I usually smoked it for recreational use or to relax. Well I was applying for a new job and yes of course I had to do a drug test so that meant that I had to stop smoking so I could pass. I decided to wait about a month or so and apply then so I could be on the safe side. The first few days I tried to stop I found it so hard to not smoke. It was all I could think about all day. I almost felt as if I needed it to function. I was agitated, I had terrible headaches, paranoia, I had no appetite, I had anxiety and I had nausea. So yes everyone there can be withdrawals. So whoever says you can just quit when you want that isn’t technically true. I thought the same. It made me realize how mentally addictive it is and how obsessive it makes you. So I wanted to quit permanetly. I did successfully stop but I went through hell and back. Now a year and half later I suffer from migraines, bad concrentration and reaction time, paranoia, I lost interest in a lot of things I was so passionate about and now have to get back on track, and all those side effects. But the biggest thing I realized was when I was trying to stop was that I took a lot of time by my kids. They weren’t totally effected but I knew that they knew how hard it was for me. So to people like Original Tiffany and all you others don’t think you are invincible to these side affects or problems because marijuana may be natural and doesn’t make you blackout or make you go crazy or kill your liver and all that crap but it isn’t all peaches and cream either. I used to think that weed is great, it’s healthy, natural, and actually helps you but As you can see I wasn’t an abuser of it I didn’t do it all day I had a life and all that but it was still a struggle. Yes your situation isnt the same as mine and everyone is different. This isn’t supposed to make it sound horrible but there is bad to marijuana. I enjoyed my using time it I was peaceful and happy (still am) but now I’m not enjoying these migraines or anxiety. Smoke it if you want but don’t make it seem like its the best possible thing out there. No your teeth won’t rot or fallout, you won’t bruise and have scars on your face, or look like a monster but you do have issues with your body and mind whether it’s acute, mild, or severe.

    • ZenB!tch says:

      UGH! Sounds like anti-depressant withdrawal. I hate smoke so I won’t touch pot (or cigs or any of that since I was 18-20) but from what you describe it has a similar effect to anti-depressants both being on it and getting off it.

    • Cin says:

      I don’t get all the alcohol bashing! Its a dumb arguement. Weed may be a little safer and better than alcohol but they’re all bad for you (unless you’re using it for medical use). They both can be addictive and can mess up your body. So stop trying to make one bad thing sound better than another bad thing. No matter how less bad it is, it is still bad. Get it? You shouldn’t be doing any of that stuff around your kids or in the same vicinity. Kids aren’t dumb they pick up on that stuff. You don’t need to be toking out or boozing out just to cope and hang with your kids. What people do in their lives is their buisness but I’m tired of weed users using this dumb arguement. Use another excuse.

  74. busy ramone says:

    The person who wrote this post obviously has very little, if any, experience with cannabis and probably shouldn’t be writing about it.

    I bet a lot of the people going on their reefer-madness spiels here are the same folks that said it was OK that Uma Thurman was drinking glasses of wine while pregnant. Hypocrites. lol

    • Megan says:

      Totally off topic but is your name a reference to the show Ready or Not? It was my favourite growing up, we didn’t get all the seasons here in Australia but I remember loving the show along with degrassi 🙂

      • busy ramone says:

        Haha yeah my friends and I used to watch that show when we were a bit too old for it just to laugh at its uncomfortable realism.

        I think you can find the episodes on YouTube now but I’m not sure if you get it in Australia…I seriously doubt Global would be chasing after that to block it in other countries. LOL

        Not that you’d want to watch it at this point in your life but I’d still watch it every now and then for a laugh. 🙂

  75. Lola says:

    Yea well tell all that to dcf. They don’t take your kid away for moderate drinking. They do for any amount of pot.

    • Elizabeth says:

      B.S. on “any amount of pot”. I have worked for two child protection agencies and that is not true.

      Personally I don’t feel comfortable with a parent using pot or alcohol while in a solo caregiving role. Too many people don’t think they are impaired but really how can they tell? One glass of wine impairs me to a some degree but I’m not drunk. But should I really be a sole caregiver for a child (particularly a baby) if I’m “tipsy”? I don’t think so. Mistakes are too easy to make. Pot smoking mom can hardly claim the moral high ground by pointing to a mom who drinks when she’s looking after her kids. I think they’re both wrong.

  76. Shannon says:

    As an avid pot smoker, I call bull. When I have kids, I will not be high around them. It’s common sense. What if something happens and I need to drive my kid to the emergency room?! That said, there are plenty of moms who are on prescription drugs that screw you up far more than pot, but think it’s fine to drive their kids around and judge others for smoking pot. It’s not like weed is the only thing you should avoid around kids, and a legal prescription doesn’t make something safe.

    I would also like to point out that I smoke daily and just graduated with a double-major and a 3.9 GPA. Smoking pot doesn’t make you dumb or lazy. It’s often blamed for doing those things, but in my experience that is not true.

  77. Moi says:

    IMO to each their own. But no vice should ever come between you being a good mother. I think that everyone’s body chemistry is different. I for one, do not like marijuana. I don’t feel the way some others feel. It makes me lazy, hungry, paranoid and I certainly couldn’t drive on it. (I tried years ago before I had a kiddo, and I don’t think I went over 5 mph). But I don’t judge either. Like I said, as long as it doesn’t affect you as a parent and it’s after the kids go to bed. Me myself, I will have a drink or two some nights after the kiddo is in bed. I also know this stunning 20 something attorney who is a very functioning pot head. She goes on cspan and gives lectures for goodness sake. She’s brilliant, but also has no kids, yet has one of the toughest jobs in the world. She smokes pretty much wherever she goes. I don’t know how she does it. I would be a paranoid, lazy hungry freak if I smoked like she does.

    • Shannon says:

      I have a friend gets really paranoid when smoking weed, so she doesn’t do it. Though, she smokes cigarettes like a chimney. 🙂

      All drugs/mind-altering substances affect people differently. It sounds like you get more paranoia then relaxation. Though, I can relate to you friend. I have a great job and make great money. I’m constantly stressed and suffer from panic attacks, so I smoke marijuana, but I don’t have any kids. I think if I did have kids, I would still smoke weed, just not as much.

    • ZenB!tch says:

      I haven’t touched a joint since I was 20 maybe? I tried any and every non-low end drug in my teens – I’m with Whitney on “Crack is Whack” and “Meth is Death” (best I could do).

      I don’t think it’s cute when an adult does it. I also hate smoke – all of it: cigarette, pipe, pot, etc. he worst for me was the cigar fad of the late 90s, the stink gives me a headache in addition to the nausea the smell of the others give me. I’m also against any drug that would make me fatter. Why????

      However, I support it being legal AND HIGHLY TAXED. Kill the drug cartels and save the economy.

      It’s just one of the deal breakers in a dating situation and maybe in a friend situation if I have to smell it.

      • TheOriginalTiffany says:

        Vaporizers don’t smell at all and are completely combustion free. Totally safe and again legal in Cali and 16 other states, decriminalized in many more including other countries. Hi Canada! Hi Netherlands!

        I lived your your great countries and never felt stigmatized.

  78. Cuzzo says:

    Sounds like a bunch of drug addicts and alcoholics arguing against each other. If you need to check out and get high all the time (whether it be on drugs or alcohol) then you clearly have a substance abuse problem and need to get sober in order to identify why you have such a difficult time being present in your life.

    • Moi says:

      I didn’t read all of the comments, so I didn’t read the back and forth. You certainly shouldn’t need anything to “check out”, but having a couple of drinks or I guess hits to relax? I dunno. Like I said, if it affects your life and you as a parent, there’s a problem.

  79. barb says:

    can we say ‘projection’? Classic….what we don’t like in ourselves we blame others for. She obviously feels guilty about it, or she wouldn’t even be talking about it./

  80. Alcohol, poy…whatever. These people are addicts, pure and simple, doing what addicts do best; making excuses.

  81. jes_sayin says:

    Not addictive, but sooo many people are smoking it EVERY DAY?!! Hellooo.

    The point is.. every time you get high, you’re checking out. If you’ve ever been sober around someone who’s stoned, you’d get it; they’re in their own little stoner world- and it’s frustrating to be around.

    I’m not against the occasional, AWAY FROM CHILDREN pot smoker, but please stop w- the BS that it’s as harmless as olive oil.

    • jc126 says:

      THANK YOU! I agree. It’s also hilarious to hear people say how they’re just mellowed out by it, that it doesn’t affect their job performance or whatever. I bet if a hidden camera followed them, or if they asked a coworker/family member, they’d find out differently.

      • busy ramone says:

        Considering the fact that you twits don’t even notice the prevalence of chronics around you in everyday life, it negates all of your arguments.

        There’s a difference between someone who smokes every day and someone who uses it to get stoned. A huge difference, but if you knew anything about cannabis you’d already know that – there’s even different strains that produce different effects as needed!!

        But all this new information must be flooding your little brains I’d better give you some time to wrap your head around it or perhaps read something that isn’t total propaganda.

    • Emily says:

      A lot of the people smoking it every day are doing so for medicinal reasons. They’re not “checking out” — they’re enabling themselves to live their lives, and those lives are a lot fuller than they would be on most prescription pain meds.

      As I said above, I’m on Tramadol. It makes me muzzy-headed. Without Tramadol, my grammar and vocabulary are excellent, my memory is quite good, my thinking processes are clear. With it, I often sit and stare at the screen forever trying to think of a word, I sometimes change verb tenses in the middle of a sentence, I often forget what I was even saying in the middle of a sentence. None of this is good for someone who formerly made money writing. Tramadol gives me headaches. My appetite is completely shot, and if you think that sounds like a good way to diet, think again. My sleep schedule is a disaster. Those aren’t all the side effects, but I don’t want to tmi. I’ll be getting tests for kidney damage next time I go to the doctor. And Tramadol is widely considered one of the prescription painkillers with the fewest side effects! Also, it doesn’t kill my pain by a long shot. It simply makes my pain horrible, but bearable, rather than completely unbearable.

      I struggle, every day, to be as lucid as possible, but I’m checked out. I have very little sense of time. I have severe problems holding a conversation. I’ve done a whole lot of research on this subject, and marijuana would likely be a far better drug for my situation. It has very few side effects, no definitely established long-term side effects unless you’re toking a whole lot (more than one dose a day), and doesn’t zombify you as much as any prescription painkillers that are effective to help my level of pain.

      I’ve been around a lot of people who’ve done pot while I’ve been perfectly sober. When they do a lot at once, or it’s extra-strong, they can become totally out of it, yes. But usually they’re fine, no noticeable impairment. Would pot work for me? I don’t know; I have weird reactions to drugs sometimes. Maybe it would make me a paranoid, hallucinating mess. But my doctor should be allowed to prescribe it for me so we can see if it works. That he can’t, while he can prescribe Percocet, which is “an absolute disaster” according to my aunt who works at a drug rehab clinic, is a disgrace.

      Anyway, this got rambling, which is another Tramadol side effect for me. Point is: marijuana is the absolutely best palliative choice for a lot of people who have a lot of pain, and it’s kept from them/us for no good reason whatsoever. And a medicinal daily dose does not make most people as out of it as I am right now on a minimal dose of this legal, more addictive, more harmful drug.

      • AnnieN says:

        @Emily – Thanks for your notes on Tramadol, I was on it a few weeks ago and I got severe migraines. The dr. and pharmacist both tried to tell me it wasn’t possible because it seems to be the new magic drug for the opiate intolerant.

    • jc126 says:

      busy ramone, plenty of us are fully aware that there are different strains of pot. Here’s a news flash – no one who’s not a pot smoker gives a rat’s ass about the many varieties of marijuana. No one cares about Kush vs. hydro or whatever. Try to wrap your brain around that.

  82. buckley says:

    I smoke all the time and I feel guilty because I have a puppy to care for.
    Can’t imagine doing it with children…

  83. Cricket says:

    I just have to add my two cents..and I haven’t even read the comments. I grew up with a pothead for a mother (I will be 33 in August)…my Dad in the past 6 years has become a hard core alcoholic, rum is his poison mixed with brandy occasionally. My parents only ever drank beer when I was growing up and never were drunk, it was a few after work (5 pm), drank over ice, no big deal. Anyways my point? I would much much rather have a “stoner” mother then an alcoholic one. Being high on pot is a different high then on alcohol. My mother was coherent, aware, etc…my father as an alcoholic, forget it. He has no flipping clue what he is saying or conversations he had from the night before. Also, there isn’t any scientific proof that pot is addictive, it’s a physiological addition not a physical one. Alcohol is a physical one. By the time I was 10 I was watching my Mom roll joints, I can laugh at this because I did not turn into an addict of any kind (and addiction runs in my family), yes I have smoke a few joints and drank a few drinks but it never did anything for me. What’s the difference then taking pain killers or some anti depressants that leave you feeling like a zombie? No I’m not knocking meds, I am on anti depressants going through a trial and error right now to find the right one after the one I’ve been on for years has stopped working and I’ve had a few zombie like drugs not fun. So, give me a pot smoking mother any day.

    • Cricket says:

      I meant to say pot is a psychological addiction not a physical addiction…I have a hard time spelling and choose the wrong “auto correct” words–dang it!

  84. ZenB!tch says:

    No difference. I totally support pot being legalized – so we can tax it but it’s no different than drinking. An alcoholic mom is not a good thing and neither is a pot head mom.

    If it’s in moderation fine same as with alcohol but if she is abusing it, it’s not fine.

    @cricket above, I never gave a thought to my meds since they come from a doctor – but I am not a mom so whatever I do affects no one else. I wish I was a zombie at the moment, unemployment is killing me. Whenever I think about it I have a full blown panic attack or would if it weren’t for the meds. I can’t afford to go see a doctor to adjust my dosage. I remember being a zombie when I was first adjusted. It was better than being drunk but I’m not an alcoholic. I don’t really like being drunk. They will find your proper dose. It takes awhile.

  85. Izzy says:

    @OriginalTiffany – awesome post!! And this from someone (me) who has literally never smoked pot in her life. Just a personal choice. I actually think medical marijuana is a reasonable option for certain medical conditions, and certainly don’t have a problem with anyone who occasionally smokes up – even once a day (and yes, even if you take more than one puff).

    Having said that, I went out on a date with a “perpetual stoner.” I mean, he smoked to STAY high. ALL the time. He couldn’t even get through our dinner-and-a-movie date without sneaking out to his truck to smoke up. And don’t tell me that didn’t kill his brain cells – trust me, it did.

    I’m not trying to make a particular point, just relating a funny dating story.

    And I’m always happy to join my CB ladies for drinks! Cracktinis, anyone? Karmakazes? The bar is open. (NO DRIVING if you’re going to indulge, though!) 😀

    • jc126 says:

      I bet that guy would’ve claimed that his brain was just fine, too, lol.

    • orion70 says:

      Yeah I had a BF like that years ago and it was no fun. Before things came to a head with us he was thinking about getting into sales. And it wasn’t anything he had a problem with when I first met him, but one pretty bad summer or so, partying was all he wanted to do. And many areas of his life (school, work, our relationship, friendships) suffered for it. That experience turned me on it for several years. I had a friend a few years later who was in a similar boat except more like what you describe, the guy was sneaking off constantly to do his thing, including during work.

  86. Cin says:

    I don’t get all the alcohol bashing! Its a dumb arguement. Weed may be a little safer and better than alcohol but they’re all bad for you (unless you’re using it for medical use). They both can be addictive and can mess up your body. So stop trying to make one bad thing sound better than another bad thing. No matter how less bad it is, it is still bad. Get it? You shouldn’t be doing any of that stuff around your kids or in the same vicinity. Kids aren’t dumb they pick up on that stuff. You don’t need to be toking out or boozing out just to cope and hang with your kids. What people do in their lives is their buisness but I’m tired of weed users using this dumb arguement. Use another excuse please!

    • TheOriginalTiffany says:

      Weed isn’t bad for you. I have asked numerous times in this thread for the empirical data and studies or statistics to back this up. They have been none. You know why?

      They are invalid and don’t exist. Now go look for side effects on the body from pain killers, benzos, hard drugs and alcohol, not to mention cigarettes and morbid obesity. I wonder how many you’ll find? 🙂

      A lot. In fact a lot more than a lot.

      • Cin says:

        So Tiff how about you stop trying to wait for people to give you facts and statistics on a gossip website and look it up or ask a professional yourself.

      • Cin says:

        You obviously must not do your research tiffany or your missing my point. Talk to a doctor or someone in health. They won’t tell you you could die from it but they’re not going to encourage you to smoke it. Im not making this up from my head I used to smoke weed. It’s hard to stop. I will admit. No I’m not all messed up or anything but I do suffer from a bad paranoia, lung/breathing problems, increased heart rate, and migraines. I work in the medical field also and I haven’t seen patients obviously dieing from smoking weed but I do see a lot with side effects similar to mine or worse (not completely life threatening.)So stop trying to make it seem like it’s similar to eating vegetables. It does have effects so you are very incorrect about it not being bad.

      • TheOriginalTiffany says:

        Cin, I’ve done my research and there aren’t studies that was my point. I’m a nuclear radiologist with over 20 years of experience I know my shit.
        The majority of the AMA supports legalization. If you work in the field, you should know this and how to spell dying. I’m all for palliative care, I don’t give a crap what a terminal patient takes. Do you have any idea how many docs smoke or do drugs? Ha!

        Read some posts before you comment. And since you haven’t read them ! I stopped for six years, I stopped for three months before changing jobs. No biggie for me. Do get vivid dreams when not smoking.

    • Shannon says:

      You are right that alcohol and weed are bad for you, but a bunch of drunks can and will cause more harm then a bunch of weed heads.

      Think of all the sports riots you have seen. What’s the ONE common denominator?

      Alcohol.

      Have you ever seen a riot caused by marijuana-induced rage?

      P.S. Please don’t say the face eater because he WAS on some sort of bath salts.

      • Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

        ‘Think of all the sports riots you have seen. What’s the ONE common denominator?’

        Sports. 😉

    • Cin says:

      You obviously must not do your research tiffany or your missing my point. Talk to a doctor or someone in health. They won’t tell you you could die from it but they’re not going to encourage you to smoke it. Im not making this up from my head I used to smoke weed. It’s hard to stop. I will admit. No I’m not all messed up or anything but I do suffer from a bad paranoia, lung/breathing problems, increased heart rate, and migraines. I work in the medical field also and I haven’t seen patients obviously dieing from smoking weed but I do see a lot with side effects similar to mine or worse (not completely life threatening.)So stop trying to make it seem like it’s similar to eating vegetables. It does have effects so you are very incorrect about it not being bad.

      • Shannon says:

        I have actually done a fair amount of addiciton research and it is agreed marijuana is not as addicitive as most other schedule one drugs. Ironically, the biggest mind altering killer which is legal is ALCOHOL!!!!!

        Research it and look it up yourself if you don’t believe me…since you keep hollering about research.

    • AnnieN says:

      @Cin – I am from NY, I was patient of one of the top gastroenterologists in NY, he is head of one of the biggest hospitals in NYC and he encouraged his patients to smoke to deal with GI issues as it can calm spasms, stop nausea, increase appetite, help you sleep, etc. You would need a cocktail of drugs, each of which has a long list of side effects, to receive the same benefits of marijuana. I myself am in the 3% of people who experience severe side effects from medications. I am opiate intolerant and allergic to NSAIDs so I am unable to take anything other than Tylenol. Because of my liver disease, I also can’t take Tylenol for extended periods of time. I have been in and out of hospitals since I was 7. I have seen more doctors spanning two continents that I care to mention. Not one doctor has ever told me marijuana is bad for me, not one. The opposite has been true, I know many doctors that would rather see their patients smoke than turn to pain pills which can kill you. I have even smoked IN THE HOSPITAL because I have had severe reactions to medications while hospitalized.

      My cousin lost his battle to cancer in 2007, his doctor from North Shore University Hospital asked the family to get him marijuana to deal with all the side effects from multiple pain patches, surgery etc. This enabled him to go home for a few days and be with his son before he died at the age of 37.

      It has been a little over a year since my aunt from cancer, she was also told to smoke to try and keep some sort of normalcy in her life after she was unable to get a transplant. Perhaps if it had been legal, she could have received a bit more comfort than what she had at then end. The stigma attached to it is so bad, some patients will refuse it for fear of getting caught or being ostracized as a pot head.

      When I was younger, I had a friend. He was depressed so he started smoking. His smoking was a way to rebel from his very wealthy upper class family. Not one person ever had a bad thing to say about him except that he was troubled. He was adopted and he was never able to deal with the abandonment issues. Instead of seeking help for him, his parents shipped him off to one of those boot camps in AZ so he would not embarrass them for being a pot head. The boot camp promptly put him on a cocktail of drugs, I remember one was prozac. One morning, he was found dead in his bed. Seems the meds caused him to have a seizure, he vomited, choked and died in his own filth. He wasn’t even 21.

      I am so upset right now, I am crying. I don’t understand how people can be so judgy. Yes, people have bad stories but at some point people have to take responsibility for their actions and not just blame it on the marijuana. People with addictive personalities, they will take whatever is available. My father, my grandfather and my brother are alcoholics, we are all predisposed to addiction so before anyone writes anything, I know plenty about addiction. I have been a member of addiction support groups and people laugh when you mention marijuana.

      • AnnieN says:

        Adding that I won’t name the doctors because their advice was in confidence and they are not allowed to encourage illegal activity.

  87. Claude Yoola says:

    Just wanted to say thank you to all the level-headed and experienced pro-legalization, pro-medication and pro-common sense voices in this thread.

    Thank you for taking the time to make your experience with this innocuous recreational yet very powerful medicinal plant heard. Even in a venue such as this, every bit helps. Slowly, it’s working. Our voices are being heard. Only the very ignorant, fearful or apathetic remain brainwashed.

    We can hope that one day, sanity will return on this one issue if nothing else.

    Thank you 🙂

  88. lowdownk says:

    Why does it have to be one or the other? Why can’t we just not do any of this stuff at all. Stop trying to justify these bad examples and own up. Kids don’t have to visibly see you smoke weed to know your doing it. I knew my dad was drinking alcohol. Why? Because I saw beer in his fridge. I knew my mom did Tobacco. Why? Because when I was looking for something in her room I saw it. You’d be amazed what kids come across. You really would so don’t think your off the hook. And if your caught doing it without a prescription or license you go to jail. Is that worth it? Spending a night in jail just so you can toke up? For what reason? It helps you do things and work? You should be able to do that without it. My point is alcohol is LEGAL weed is ILLEGAL (for those using it as recreational use) it may be dumb but it isn’t worth it. If your using it everyday your addicted simple as that.

    • Shannon says:

      In what world does someone spend a night in jail for weed/marijuana? Unless of course this person is a distributor with KILOs of marijuana

      In most states, and for most policemen, possession of minor amounts of marijuana is a minor infraction. Don’t believe people are being jailed for having marijuana (except in Texas) when you probably remember a friend/relative/person/idiot who was caught with “the weed” and released.

      Also please research illegal and legal drugs and their affects. You make it sound like a mother “stoned” on klonopin is more reliable then a person stoned on weed because klonopin is legal and doctor prescribed.

      Seriously, before you sound really naive….think about it.

      • the original bellaluna says:

        Shannon – Too late! 😉

        I will take the non-symptoms of weed withdrawal over the ACTUAL withdrawal symptoms from PRESCRIBED PAIN MEDS ANY DAY.

        If anyone on here being all judgy-bitchy about weed hasn’t been through the days of sweats, chills, barfing, and the “Hershey Squirts” (as dad called it) from quitting RX pain meds (used AS PRESCRIBED), they need to STFU.

      • lowdownk says:

        Shut up. Stop trying to bring other drugs into this. Just because pills and alcohol is bad it doesn’t mean marijuana is any better. I could care less about the other drugs because we are talking about weed (other drugs and alcohol is a very common arguement for weed smokers). A mom on pills or high is bad either way. You shouldn’t be on any tpe of high or drunkiness while with your kids. And sorry about the jail part. I live in Texas so you go to jail for any bit you have. But yes in other states you can get infractions and fines depending on how much you have and if it’s in your system while driving and other stuff similar to that. But are those consequences worth it for a freaking joint? Last time I checked no. They’re all bad so stop trying to find good out of bad by bashing other drugs. If you are with your kids or somewhere in the same area you shouldn’t be doing drugs illegally or drinking. “take the edge off your day” my ass. If you need drugs to help you be with your kids and play with then your issues must be pretty deep. That’s a little besides my point but still. All drugs and alcohol are bad. Seriously before you sound naive…..think about it. Please I can tell you obviously didn’t.

      • lowdownk says:

        geez and shannon there are withdrawals to weed. You obviously have never tried stopping to realized this. i have.

      • AnnieN says:

        @lowdownk – and there are withdrawals from caffeine, sugar, even gossip sites 🙂

        The point we are making is that you can’t compare the psychological withdrawal from the very nasty physical withdrawals of legal drugs and alcohol.

        Been smoking for 20+ years, have quit cold turkey several times to travel, have a child, breast feed, etc. and I have worse withdrawals from my caffeine addiction.

      • Shannon says:

        @lowdownk

        You are the one who made the distinction between ILLEGAL and LEGAL. My point was there is no difference between a person stoned on weed vs. stoned on klonopin. Except klonopin is legal with a prescription.

        Also, stop making assumptions about people since that continues to add to you sounding like a naive child. FYI, I stop smoking weed for 10 years and only recently restarted. Although there were withdrawals, it was not hard to stop smoking marijuana; in fact, it was far easier to quit smoking weed than tobacco.

        I won’t get into a discussion with you about what is right and wrong because you’re too naive for that. I will wrap this up by saying, “To each his own”. Anything done to excess can be bad. The key is moderation.

        Peace!

  89. santacruz says:

    Taking drugs is very self indulgent. Drug taking and children should NEVER co-exist.

  90. Ginger says:

    I haven’t had a drink in two years and pot never really agreed with me so…I’m not so sure that I agree with either scenario. Even when I was drinking I didn’t do it while caring for my child…it was always after I put him to bed or while going out if he was home with a sitter (usually grandma). I don’t have an issue with pot at all…in fact I think it should be legal. In theory, I can see that it is far less detrimental than alcohol. However, one very big point here…it is still ILLEGAL and for any parent to advocate breaking the law as “okay” while around your child is still dubious at best.

  91. shanique says:

    y’all just have sex. You get all that pleasure you get from doing drugs in sex. Even more. its healthy too. Y’all obviously must not have had good pleasurable sex if your resorting to drugs to get pleasure.(my opinion) Wow some of y’all needa get laid asap especially the mom in this article. Addicts arguein with addicts. Get you some guys! Sorry bout the double post

  92. Chris: now with 10% less negativity says:

    It’s amazing how fired up people still get over drugs. This alongside immigration and gay marriage just keep going round and round. I hope I live to see the day that drugs are decriminalized, gay marriage is legal and the West welcomes refugees with open arms. Then we might finally, finally start to tackle some new issuess instead of going over and over the same old ground.

  93. oceanbaby says:

    All of my life, both my parents smoked pot daily, even grew it. My mum was a stay-at-home mum and my dad had a well paying job. They tried to keep it all hidden from me and my sister when we were little, but eventually gave up trying when we got older.
    They are great parents and smoking never interfered with their parenting.
    Now that I’m an adult, I can say there was not a single negative repercussion to any of this…. if anything, it made me not really feel the need to run out of the house and rebel against my parents and go smoke a joint, it was something I saw my parents do every day.
    I also had friends with parents who drank too much and there was a huge contrast between smoking daily and drinking daily.
    Everything in moderation.
    I can happily say I can sit down and smoke a joint with my parents and have really good conversations 🙂

  94. blonde on the dock says:

    Doctors are the biggest users of weed! I have a friend, a cardiologist, who has been scoring for other doctors at his hospital for years. I volunteer in a cancer centre. Sometimes the cure is worse than the disease. If not for weed these poor people would suffer much more than they already do. The medicinal benefits far outweigh any harmful side effects. But it’s like anything. Moderation.

  95. Natalina says:

    no one ever died from it, but i think when watching children, no drugs or alcohol should be involved

  96. Grace says:

    Marijuana should be legal because if my tax dollars have pay for the valium or vicodin-loving, adderall- tweaking,drunk, obese, and anorexic moms then I want my money paying for the marijuana moms too.
    If you are an immoderate person it doesn’t matter if itis:Food,shopping,sex,exercise,plants,
    liquor,or chemical drugs
    If you can’t control your own impulses it doesn’t matter what you do,nothing can help. It is astonishing to watch the boozehounds, skeletal adderall freaks, fat binge eaters, credit card retail therapists, and gym exercise addicts pass judgment on pot smokers. People in glass houses should not throw stones.
    Marijuana should be legal if liquor is legal. It should be legal if taxpayers have pay taxes for treatment programs for alcoholics, adderall addicts, anorexics or obese people.

  97. Minime says:

    Ok, this thread is old, but I was just thinking about “TheOriginalTiffany” asking for empirical data on the (bad) effects of weed and I did a very short search. Here is some data on the short and long term impairing effects of Cannabis:

    http://ukpmc.ac.uk/abstract/MED/1313532/reload=0;jsessionid=bWWCTeHvwbH4XDsGqv2r.2

    http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/1097-0142(19900901)66:5%3C1005::AID-CNCR2820660535%3E3.0.CO;2-H/abstract

    http://jat.oxfordjournals.org/content/16/5/276.short

    http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0091305786905150

    http://www.nejm.org/doi/pdf/10.1056/NEJM198802113180603

    Just saying…I’m pretty sure you can also find articles about the benefits of cannabis (as it is with pain) and the damage provoked by alcohol or prescribed drugs, as it was already said on this thread. However, I do find it to be short sided to simply state that cannabis is just wonderful and not producing (or able to produce) additional cognitive, psychological or biological effects. Not true and, as with any other drug (alcohol, Benzodiazepins or any other prescribed psychoactive drug), this should be taken into attention when using them. To be informed is the most important.

  98. Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

    This is one of the least mellow things I’ve ever read.

  99. DI says:

    I have smoked pot daily for 32 years. I’ve had a job since 2 years before I started smoking and have had a professional job consistently throughout. I pay my bills on time, my taxes, am social with family and friends (some smoke, some do not). I have alcoholic friends who I do not judge (they will tell you they’re alcoholics). Their health is not good: weight gain, bad skin,”lost time” due to hangovers, etc. I also know at least 5 people who have liver issues and only one of them was able to quit drinking. I also know people who have multiple prescriptions which the doctor doesn’t think twice about handing over because they’re making money on it. Pot is the one of the BEST stress reducers; the other being exercise. This country HAS NO MONEY, but we still give it away to other countries and waste it on the drug war. Just legalize it for goodness sake and help get us out of the economic mess we’re in!!!!!!