Gwyneth Paltrow offers Goopy advice on where peasants should holiday

Oh, Gwyneth. She’s gives us so much pain, so much joy, so much laughter and so many tears. After taking a “Goop holiday” (Goopiday?) for three-and-a-half months, Gwyneth’s little Goop blog is back. The Goop site got a complete redesign (which isn’t all that user-friendly, honestly), and Gwyneth is now offering a “Goop Collection” which consists of a pair of $200 jeans, a $90 white t-shirt, and a new addition: bikinis. All of which are offered in no size larger than 8. Anyway, this week’s Goop-letter – her first since the first week of April – is all about “travel”. Here’s what Goop has to say:

A little trip away in the summer is exciting and rejuvenating, especially if you can’t take all of August off like the Italians/French do. Always looking for a new idea or two, we asked some cool travel experts to point us in the right direction.


[Via Goop]

Is it just me or is that carefully worded? “A little trip away in the summer is exciting and rejuvenating, especially if you can’t take all of August off like the Italians/French do.” Gwyneth usually takes August off, like an Italian or a Frenchwoman too. I get the feeling Goop is not in her wheelhouse with this one, this whole idea of a “short vacation” or a “little trip” – it’s such a peasanty-y concept, don’t you know? The elites get to take vacations for the whole summer. Anyway, the rest of the Goop-letter just reads like a travel brochure, as Gwyneth offers suggestions and advice for where peasants should go for their “little trips”.

In other Gwyneth news, she’s in talks to take another lead role in a film. Because Hollywood doesn’t understand that America is no longer interested in seeing Goop carry a film, I guess. But don’t think that Goop will be going old-school and doing some costume drama (how gauche!). No, Goop is in talks to play… a CHEF! She might take the lead in the film adaptation of Gabrielle Hamilton’s 2011 “foodie memoir” Blood, Bones & Butter. THR says, “Like Paltrow, Hamilton is something of a jack-of-all-trades. The owner and chef of New York’s Prune restaurant also is a trained writer with an MFA from the University of Michigan. The book chronicles Hamilton’s unconventional background — she is the youngest of five siblings born to a French mother and an artist father who made the sets for the Ringling Bros. and Barnum and Bailey Circus — as well as her unorthodox trajectory to becoming a chef.” Well, the actual woman sounds very interesting, but I can’t say I’m all that interested in seeing Goop simper and smug her way through a movie about any of this.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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63 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow offers Goopy advice on where peasants should holiday”

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  1. i'maseahorse says:

    to me she always looks as though she’s about to cry :(

  2. videli says:

    Maybe I’m in a bitchy mood today, but I think that, for all her clean living and exercise, and what not, she looks kind of rough.

  3. Embee says:

    That role sounds perfect for her. I’d watch it.

  4. Paloma says:

    Oh how delightful. Gwyn, an M.D., Ph.D, and knower of all things worth knowing about.

  5. Jackson says:

    Hmmm. If I felt like trolling her I’d go to her site and ask her why she only goes to size 8 on her clothing. I mean, I already know why, but still. I would love to see her answer that question. I’m sure she’d say that being over a size 8 is simply unhealthy and she doesn’t want to support anything unhealthy. Bleh.

  6. Eleonor says:

    I am an Italian, and it happens I live in French, unless you’re superich, you work in a public school, or you’re unemployed no way to have all months of August off.

  7. Quinn says:

    For someone who spends her life on her appearance, she sure looks rough for her age.

  8. GoodCapon says:

    What’s with the Italian/French thing? Someone please educate me.

  9. cody says:

    Wow in the first picture she looks just like her mom, Blythe Danner, who I like. Sometimes, I think she purposely writes her Goop stuff because she knows it gets on the different gossip sites, like this one and it keeps people talking about her.

  10. Elj says:

    If she doesn’t stop flat ironing her f*cking hair…

    • Sara says:

      I am so with you on this one. I have NEVER understood the whole I want long hair even if its thin and stringy as long as its long thing. So many girls have fried and over dyed long hair. It’s a huge pet peeve of mine. If your hair is unhealthy get a bob or cut it short unless you don’t mind everyone making fun of you behind your back… My friend and I had this thing growing up when we saw a girl with fried long hair we would move our fingers in a scissor motion and say snip snip. Gwen’s hair looked really good when the first Iron Man came out and she had the bob going.

  11. maggiegrace says:

    She rubs me the wrong way, but I do find her beautiful.

  12. marie says:

    Oh Gwyneth, creator of Goop, I laughed so hard that now I must poop.. Unless she’s dying in the movie, I’m not watching..

  13. Beta says:

    hi, anyone else feels this is kind of getting old?
    she’s been gooping for around 2 years but we still get a weekly update on ‘look how snobby GP is’

  14. The Original Denise says:

    To say that celebrities are out of touch, is an understatement to say the least. Many of us here in the US will be taking staycations, Gwyneth, it is called a recession. I know that you don’t have that word in your vocabulary, so look it up. BTW, do enjoy your vacation on Uncle Steve’s yatch in the south of France or where ever else it is moored this summer.

  15. lucy2 says:

    Oh good Lord, the promotion tour for that film would be insufferable!!!

    Is it really a clothing collection if you only offer 3-4 items? And what’s with limiting it to a size 8 max?
    That $90 t-shirt looks like a typical thin Hanes. I really think her only target audience is herself.

  16. Sirsnarksalot says:

    Does she still think of herself as an actress first & a lifestyle expert second? Personally I just think of her now as a well connected dilettante who has benefited greatly from nepotism. The first big clue came when Brad dumped her and said something about having believed the hype about her too. Fake fake fake!

    • Minty says:

      You are correct, Sir! She owes most of her career to Mama, Papa, and Godfather Spielberg.

      A dilettante she is, and an elitist one at that. She thinks she is gifting the “unwashed masses” with her lofty pronouncements. It’s plausible that she’s the type of actor who thinks she’s an expert chef, singer, lawyer, whatever, because she played one in a film. Even if I had the money, I would never buy the crap she’s selling.

  17. NYC_girl says:

    I don’t like side-boob and hate fried, ironed hair. I really wish that trend would stop. My sister has been wearing her hair like that for over 10 years and it looks like shit. I have cousins in southern Italy and they did take off for many weeks during the summer, but it’s also because they don’t have f*cking AC and it’s hotter than hell. All the aunts and uncles vacationed together in RVs – I went there when I was 22 and it was one of the best summers of my life. They’d have a separate tent with full cooking facilities – and, they were not “affluent” or whatever the hell Gwyneth is accustomed to. It seemed to be more about the family being together too. We also had showers in the campgrount that operated on “gettone -” tokens that would give you about 5 minutes of hot water before shutting off. Goop would NEVER put up with that.

  18. Just A Nobody says:

    Terrible makeup job in that first photo. This chick is an utter asshole.

  19. Kate says:

    “Ocean views are complimented by the white guest rooms, a serene spa, an outdoor terrace and more.”

    “Why, ocean views! The white guest rooms, the serene spa and I couldn’t help noticing how truly exquisite you look tonight!”


  20. annaloo. says:

    We have such a BAD economy right now, and she’s like if you “Cant take August off”….???!



    let them eat cake, indeed! I’d LOVE to slap her. HARD. REAL HARD. Brooklyn style. WAKE THE F–K UP GWYNETH.

  21. erika says:

    I get the whole month of August off. And I had July off too. Ohhh, and June, May and April and….and….and….

    because I’m unemployed.


  22. erika says:

    Do you think she secretly pines for and cries a tear at night wishing she had thick, lush, locks of hair?

  23. Lizzie says:

    Gwenyth is a never-was hanger-on who lives off her husband and pretends to be perfect at parenting, decorating, healthy living, makeup, fashion… (NOT!). Where are her kids while she shows up at all these openings looking like a popsicle stick with an expensive dress. How dare she! I may be a peasant, but I put my life on the line for the high and mighty like her for 22 years and two wars. I am now permanently disabled and partially disfigured soldier. She can take her scrawny, irrelevant skanky tail back home where it belongs!! P.S. Eat a burger or two!

  24. Love says:

    Well when goopy vacations it is a pastime , not a necessity. Her life is a vacation . Come work a real job then take a week off , all you are going to want to do is sit on your couch and numb fuck your mind before you go back to working doing what your company use to have five people doing before the economy turned to crap ..
    Umm but I’ll go back to wondering if my ass complements my couch cushions ..,,,, lol

    • sup says:

      on ontd they posted a goop article where she described a day in her life, complaining how hectic it is and how she has only 2 hours to have tea and work on goop newsletter. it was such a joke and a slap on the face on us peasant women who have to work at actual jobs for tedious long hours.