Lindsay Lohan loves being unprofessional, full of crack drama, surprise

I am going to tell you something that will shock you to your core. The Crack Monster known as Lindsay Lohan is an unpredictable, inconsistent, unprofessional mess. SHOCK. I know. Lindsay was hired to do a glorified cameo in the latest Scary Movie (5), and as it turns out, she’s more trouble than she’s worth. This is completely new information!

Getting unpredictable Lindsay Lohan to do a cameo role in “Scary Movie 5” has been a frightening experience for producers as she tried to avoid a scene making fun of her troubles.

Dimension Films signed Lohan to play a cameo in the horror spoof opposite Charlie Sheen. But over the past two weeks — as the date for filming approached — Lohan disappeared, blew off rehearsals, missed her flight to the set and even bizarrely claimed she had walking pneumonia.

We’re told the troubled starlet “freaked out” after seeing the script was poking fun at her. At the 11th hour, Lohan did report for work, however only after she was threatened with a lawsuit by a Hollywood legal eagle and a private jet was sent to pick her up, sources tell Page Six.

“Lindsay missed every meeting she had for the film, including script reads and wardrobe meetings,” said a Hollywood insider. “Then she missed her flight to Atlanta on Sunday to shoot the movie. The producers had been getting signs Friday that she was a mess, and would not be fit to work.”

Multiple sources say that Lohan decided she didn’t want to do the film because she thought her scene made too much fun of her. “It went pretty hard at Lindsay,” said a source, adding the script features a kiss with Sheen, and that “she’d been freaking out about it for weeks.”

But when a call was scheduled to discuss the script, Lohan missed that, too, sources say.

Yet another source tells us that Lohan last weekend began saying she couldn’t do the film because she had “walking pneumonia,” and went to a hospital Sunday to get her lungs checked.

“She is under contract — so to get out of it, she had to prove that she was sick,” said a source. “She tried to prove she has walking pneumonia.”

Another summed up, “She’s been locked up in her room at the Bowery Hotel. She’s been in a tailspin. Even Charlie Sheen worried she might not be able to do the scene.”

A rep for Lohan said, “These stories are untrue, and she is willingly fulfilling all of her obligations.” Reps for Dimension had no comment.

[From Page Six]

For my money, the best quote is: “Even Charlie Sheen worried she might not be able to do the scene.” DUN DUN DUN. If a monster who snorts coke and p0rn stars (in equal measure) thinks you’re too screwed up to do a scene, then chica, you’ve got real problems. You notice that the studio hasn’t issued a denial too, right? Only poor, pathetic Steve Honig, who I still think is Dina Lohan with a cracked-out mustache. As for “walking pneumonia” – walking coke disaster, more like. Whatever, y’all.

Also – Lindsay has been back on Twitter in a big way. She’s been tweeting about Taylor Swift, Prince Harry, and “Save the Society” (which sounds like an escort service, honestly). But this was by far the best tweet:

Classic Cracken. Bitch, don’t act like you’re declaring your hooker money.

Photos courtesy of Lindsay’s Twitter, WENN.

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91 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan loves being unprofessional, full of crack drama, surprise”

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  1. Macey says:

    I was just wondering when a new LL article would appear, she’s been quiet lately. As much as I cant stand her and want to see her behind bars, I actually kind of miss her when she’s quiet. not really her but the crack drama I guess.

    I question whether Steve Honig is real or not too. Has anyone ever seen a picture of him? Wouldnt surprise me if you are correct in that it is Dina or Michael.

    • Jennika says:

      Its probably Dina in a wig!

      • Macey says:

        something is definitely odd with his company/site.
        how do you go from working with co’s like Revlon, Hewlett Packart, Coca Cola and then you have LL, VG and CL???

        something’s not right there.

    • RocketMerry says:

      @Macey, if you do a Google-image search for “Steve Honig” you ONLY get Lindsay Lohan pics.
      She could definitely muster up the deep, raspy, 40-years-a-smoker, masculine voice for any phone-denial, so… yeah, Steve’s probably Lilo herself.

      I’m starting to think one of her personalities is actually called Steve Honig. Scaaaa-reyyyyy!

      • Jennika says:

        omg, hahaha now I’m picturing Lindsay walking around going ” now I’m Steve” Then she puts on man clothes and sits at a desk and opens up books with nothing in them but her scribbles. Then she has imaginary coworkers who she talks too and answers her sesame street elmo talking phone. She pretends she’s talking to important clients, but its really just Elmo asking if she knows her ABCs. haha

      • Macey says:

        lmao! You are correct!
        I just went thru tons of pages under google images and NOT ONE pic of him came up. all LL or her mom and dad. there was only one pic of a guy but he looked really young (teens), think he may just happen to have that name, def. not her PR person.
        Now this has me really curious.

      • LAK says:

        Here is his company website.

        http://www.honigcompany.com/index.html

        Lindsay is listed.

        The question though is how she is paying his fees because the client list is big money clients, and she’s supposed to be broke!

      • Erinn says:

        @LAK right along with Courtney Love, and Brooke Mueller. Interesting.

        For a minute I thought it was one of the sites my company makes haha. Looked like the same kind of stock imagery.

        Honestly though, it wouldn’t be hard to call in a web company, and have a site built under a different name.

        EDITED TO ADD:
        I have a bit of a hard time believing that this company has higher end clients like HP, and Revlon, etc. by looking at what an amateur website they have. They must not make much money from these supposed clients.

      • TG says:

        You guys have me laughing so I went to Google and supposedly has has been in the bus for over 20 years and he is even on IMBD and his one client is listed as Lindsay Lohan so I find it hard to believe someone as seemingly as important as his career past indicates on his website http://www.honigcompany.com/about_steve_honig.html would even want to represent her. Something is fishy here for sure.

    • Lucky Charm says:

      @ LAK – I also noticed that Victoria Gotti is a client. Hmmm….(putting on conspriacy theory hat now, lol!)

    • Bread and Circuses says:

      Steve Honig represents Courtney Love too.

      And I’m glad to know that fact, because it means I don’t have to worry about him. When it comes to hyper-manic, reflex-lying crack monsters, this guy’s an expert.

    • erika says:

      me too!!! I miss her if she’s behind bars! thankfully, it ain’t all too long.

      i became a fan of hilo back in ’10, i couldn’t sleep before her july 6th appearing, got up EARLY and sat infront of TMZ waiting..she went to the slammer for like, 3 days. I was HoLo-sick those 3 days…

      i get OFF on lindsay NOT getting off the hook!!!

      this though? idk, idk, maybe a slim chance she’s gonna get through this, but..smelling the end/serious hospitalization/intitutionalized…soon

  2. beyonce's bump says:

    su-fackin-prise!

  3. RocketMerry says:

    YES!
    I missed LiLo news, even though it hasn’t been that much since the last time we heard of her and even though I was totally convinced the next news cycle would have been about her overdose!!
    Man, the girl is a cockroach.

  4. Sirsnarksalot says:

    This mess doesnt even have a home anymore, She lives in hotels. That’s pretty sad. Although nice to see she is now in the Bowery where she fits in better. And yes I know the Bowery hotel is high end, but the Bowery ain’t. And at some point in the near future people are going to stop extending her credit at these hotels and studios will stop offering her pity roles and then what? Squatting under an overpass on the NJ Turnpike?

    • Flora Kitty says:

      That’s too close for my comfort, because the Cracken can easily migrate down the NJ Turnpike to I 295 and cross the bridge into Delaware.

  5. Lucy says:

    Is anyone surprised? If so I have some fresh air to sell you!

  6. Shitler says:

    Ha ha ha ha ha!
    Make her work for that paycheck!

  7. Belle Epoch says:

    Why do people keep hiring her?

  8. brin says:

    The only thing that shocks me is that she is still being offered roles.

    • TQB says:

      What shocks me is that she doesn’t realize the only roles she’ll be offered are ones that mock her.

  9. Jayna says:

    It was unprofessional as usual, but I almost get this, her stalling once she realized the lines were maybe cruel regarding her. No excuses, but maybe I get her balking at it once she saw the lines. But as usual, she handled it unprofessionally.

  10. Franziska says:

    she’s just so beautiful. the marilyn of our time.

    snort.

    • Andy says:

      Ha!!

      More like the modern Barbara Payton.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara_Payton

      • busy ramone says:

        OMG.

        “Over time, her very public displays of excess partying, drinking and liaisons with men of dubious reputation, tarnished her credibility as an actress on a serious career track, and ultimately alienated the very Hollywood power brokers whose good will she needed to court in order to have a viable movie career. Through it all however, Payton held to a child-like belief in her Hollywood stardom, which in her mind had never faded. She was unable to acknowledge that her once-promising career had crashed and burned, never to be resurrected.”

      • JD says:

        That is so very sad.

        I don’t want that to happen to Lindsay, I don’t want that for anyone.

        I do hope that she can pull herself together, but it will probably take a prison sentence to do that for her.

        I can’t even watch any of her movies, because it is to depressing to see her full of promise, compared to her destructive behavior now.

  11. SnarkySnarkers says:

    Im seriously trying trying to decipher that tweet. What is she talking about? “If they are not, we must consider that as well” Huh? I think Im going to have to dig through a box of Cracken Crunch and look for the Crack Decoder Ring for this one.

  12. TG says:

    I only read Cracken articles to laugh at Kaiser’s take on things and to read the other funny comments on here. Anyone who works with her is either doing it for a publicity stunt or they are really really stupid and even the publicity stunt people are probably really stupid too. I think Blohan did this stunt just to get a private jet since she likely was scheduled to fly coach and had a middle seat of all things.

  13. marie says:

    ummm..has she never seen any Scary Movie? WTH did she think she was signing up for?!? And yes, you know you’re pathetic when Charlie Sheen is worried about you…

    • TQB says:

      I am laughing imagining how much delight Sheen had making that statement… He’s a disaster, but lately he’s been rather witty and reflective; I’m sure he thinks this is a hoot.

  14. Birdie says:

    I don’t get why Hollywood producers want to work with her still. Everybody knows she’s a lying, evil, entitled, spoiled, delusional addict and she lost her looks. I don’t feel sorry for the people who hire her. They know what’s up.

    • Onyx XV says:

      ^^This^^. I too, have ZERO sympathy for anyone who attempts to employ her, & then complains when she inevitably, invariably f*cks up. Really, what do these people expect?

    • Macey says:

      Same here.
      I cant help but still think of that woman’s Liz Taylor trailer, did anything ever come of it? It was like a big story for a day but then no follow-up.

      • Onyx XV says:

        I was wondering that same thing. Whatever did happen with that trailer? That story was some weirdness!

  15. ladybert62 says:

    That line about Charlie Sheen also made me laugh out loud!

    Wow, when Charlie Sheen turns out looking more professional than you, Crackie, you know you are in trouble and should see a therapist!

    • OriginalTiffany says:

      Winning!

      Crackmosas? Surprised? Anyone? Crickets?

      Yeah, I thought so…

    • Genevieve says:

      Color me Cracken’d.

      Is there ANYONE in this girls life who can put the brakes on her drug use, bad decisions and fast track to the mortuary?

      As Macey said in the first post, I’ve been waiting for a new LiLo post from CB, saying something like this or worse. I think it’s so tragic that everyone in her life is a money/ famewhore. If this girl had anyone in her crack-orbit who truly loved her andy didn’t try to pimp her out for their own gain, she might never have gotten to this point. Not to absolve her own crack-actions, but…

      I’m looking at YOU, Michael and Dina Lohan 🙁

  16. V4Real says:

    Why is this woman still relevant; we are no longer surprised at anyting she does. What is she trying to do; make sure there is enough to fill a script when someone makes a movie about her f–cked up life twenty years from now.

  17. v says:

    Erm…the ones who hired her have no one to blame but themselves.

  18. lucy2 says:

    I can’t feel sorry for any producer stupid enough to hire her. All the free publicity in the world is not enough to overcome the negative affects of the Cracken.

  19. cmc says:

    LMAO, oh, Cracken. She will never change.

  20. G says:

    So, basically, she’s not even in shape to play HERSELF.

    Get some help,girl.

  21. Genevieve says:

    Posted to #15

  22. dorothy says:

    No sympathy here for the producers. Everyone knows she so-over and a constant mess, they shouldn’t have hired her.

  23. skuddles says:

    Here’s a thought people – STOP hiring her!!

    This is beyond stunt casting – more like circus freak casting. Does the Lilo freak factor really make all the endless hassle worthwhile? A good long stretch of being completely unemployable might be the only thing that registers in her crackie brain.

    • MorticiansDoItDeader says:

      That thing she’s trying to pass off as a nose sure makes her look like a circus freak!

      • skuddles says:

        Too true Mort! Hard to believe she used to have a rather cute nose… back in the pre “I sucked a sh*tload of blow up my nose” days.

      • Imelda says:

        Thats soo true. If you scroll slowly down the first picture, you see the top of her head, then her thinning hair then that NOSE (the less said about the lips the better)
        Just continued to scroll down – very fast – to the comments.

  24. Devon says:

    She has been on twitter a lot more lately and it seems that the worse she gets the more she tweets. And I love it.

    • LeeLoo says:

      Same with Courtney Love. That is one bitch who will go CRAZY on twitter. Although she is going through a sane period atm. Also, Courtney Love has Steve Hoenig for a publicist. He apparently works with a ton of difficult PR people. He sucks though, all he does is deny and relocate blame. It could be Dina’s side job. *shrugs*

  25. LeeLoo says:

    Dina probably can’t wait to cash that first image licensing check when Lindsay finally kills herself and Dina is stuck with making Lindsay this generations Kurt Cobain or John Belushi. I swear this woman wants to kill Lindsay for the huge payout it could bring her.

    • Genevieve says:

      @ LeeLoo….ITA.

      I never thought parenting skills could be so deplorable or have such sinister intent, but I think you’re absolutely right. If there is a hell for people like Steve Honig, errr, I mean Dina Lohan, I hope the flames are burning nice and hot in preparation for her arrival 🙁

      • JD says:

        Yeah, I remember complaining about my parents having rules for me, getting in big trouble for drinking, having curfews and the like.

        But now I say thank you to my parents for making sure I turned out somewhat decent.

        I don’t think Lindsay ever had much of a chance.

        And before I get clobbered, I know she is an adult, and can make her own choices now. But when you are raised by parents like hers, it’s made much harder.

  26. roger says:

    the producers of Scary Movie 5 is worst off than LL for even considering to work with her bcuz they know what mess she brings to the table right now

  27. Jacq says:

    Has she seen ANY of the Scary Movies? Of course they’re going to make fun of her, they did it with Shaq & the free-throws, etc. It’s all a gigantic parody. Unfortunately for her, I think the only role Linds MIGHT be qualified for at this point is the Strong Hand.

  28. Bess says:

    I understand that the jobs Blohan gets are all stunt casting, but this is beyond ridiculous. In any other industry, one missed meeting or lame excuse would mean termination. Why does the film industry go out of it’s way to accommodate this crackhead??

    • Madisyn says:

      Hey Bess, I think ‘TRAIN WRECK RATINGS’ are all well and good for TV but NO ONE is going to pay $10 bucks to see this loser SLAG at the theater!

      • Bess says:

        I know I wouldn’t pay to see the Cracken “act”. The free performances we watch online are more than enough for me.

  29. carol says:

    i hope she has saved her money because she is going to need it. I predict a trailor house in her future.

  30. carol says:

    it is – is *it’s*. Its problem, its issue, its fashion, its nagging details… It’s or its. my bad.

  31. HillbillyintheCorner says:

    You can get hired in anything is you have someone really high and powerful in the hollywood hierarchy in you back pocket And Dina Lohan has….if all the rumurs and all the free passes and wrist slaps, and bought parts indeciate…..But I’m thinking he’s got to be getting tired of it by now…But I got news for him …lay down with one of the devil’s mistress and you pay forever…..

    • Bess says:

      I know that Micheal Lohan has threatened to do the blackmail thing before, but nothing ever came of it.

      Is White Oprah smart enough to be able to blackmail someone who is powerful enough to get the Cracken out of trouble on both coasts???

  32. Chria says:

    I read somewhere she was audited by the IRS BC she failed to either pay or file taxes from a previous year. With that notion, how can she possibly say anything regarding taxes other then I don’t pay mine

  33. Madisyn says:

    I doubt highly she’s staying at the Bowery Hotel. The Bowery is owned by Andre Balazs who owns the Chateau Marmont. As she owes $46 K to the CM and is banned, its unlikely Andre would let her stay at his other hotel.

  34. Hazel says:

    Yeah Lindsay, because people pay their taxes according to their ‘forbes’ statis.. NOT as a percentage of their earnings…

    OMG she is seriously mentally deranged.

  35. Hotpockets says:

    Lindsay Lohan’s twitter is a gold mine, it’s like XxX-mas!! You should have never mentioned she had one because it’s hilarious and addicting!

    Also, I love her background photo of herself looking drugged out of her mind, classic.

  36. Isa says:

    Does she even pay her taxes? Wasn’t she supposed to get in trouble for not paying?

  37. Aubra says:

    Lord has mercy…somebody please tell this bish she’s as relevant as rice cakes to the food pyramid and push her off a cliff!!…PLEASE

  38. samira25 says:

    I must be missing something because I don’t see why producers, directors, etc seem to think Lindsay is worth the trouble and money to have her in their movies.

    • Sunny says:

      I’ve said this before so many times but she will continue to be hired because people will watch her, which will bring in some decent ratings, which might turn a small profit ( or break even) during a time where many companies are losing money. I beg of those people who are dying for the premiere – don’t watch! Just don’t play into it. There will be plenty of repeats and shows tearing it apart, just let this one go. All publicity really is good publicity, and she might eff up at the end of the day, but if she is sparking controversy or acting like a lunatic it does nothing but help the movie. Someone once said if we boycotted everything we disagreed with we’d have nothing left to watch, but I manage just fine without LL, Kardashians, those beauty pageant shows, jersey shore….I will never buy a magazine or see a movie with her (or any of them), their clothes or perfume, whatever. These scumbags are completely reliant on the public, so if the public doesn’t give in and feed the beast, it goes away.

  39. logan says:

    Hasn’t quite hit rock bottom, but is going in the right direction. At this point i think CoCo will get that Academy Award before she does. I love CoCo by the way. No career, no man, no home, just a wall of mug shots to her name, but still we talk about her.

  40. bea says:

    did she mention the Boogie-Woogie blues as well? (you have to be old to get that joke, sorry)

  41. Tara says:

    You are right, Lindsay Lohan is always full of surprises and seems to be more unprofessional than professional. The biggest surprise for me is her portrayal of Elizabeth Taylor. I believe that this is a new direction for her and I like what I see.

  42. crazycatlady says:

    It’s hilarious that she’s too dumb to realize that the whole world can see she’s Tweeting, which means she’s at least partially coherent and therefore capable of showing up for this gig. And I’m sorry, but having to show up to say a few lines in front of a camera for a few minutes is hardly what I’d call “work.” Imagine if she was a normal schlub like the rest of us, expected to go work a 40-hr-a-week job to keep a roof over her head. She’d be homeless for sure.

  43. HillbillyintheCorner says:

    Larry Thompson peddled that script titled Richard and Elizabeth around for almost 4 yrs and could not get any body to back it..he did everything but fall on his knees but still no buyers…Lohan Inc needed something desperately for Lindsay to do after her probation was up…So the reach out and touched” and suddenly Larry Thompson gets a backer for his unsellable movie…not much but enough…but it has a catch….he has to hire Lindsay for the Lead…and the story has to be slanded more in her favor…Thus “Richard and Elizabeth a true love story” becomes “Liz and Dick”
    He couldn’t fire her cause his hands were tied…He sold his soul to the devil sort of speaking…
    Now whether that movie is good or bad and judging by the many,many lieaks and photos it is going to be a stinker not because of Grant Boyer or the other acters but because it is a cheap make move with Lohan Inc hands all over it from the wigs that were designed for Lidsay..(Elizabeth Taylor NEVER has Hair that long…only a occasion wig..but the hold movie screams cheap…
    Really gettin sick of this woman…

  44. Bess says:

    Apparently Dina Lohan is going to be on the Dr. Phil show on Monday. I hope he really goes after her for being such a parent pimp.

  45. I honestly don’t care what LL says, because nothing she says in my mind sounds stupid. I love her and I’d love to date her. I think she is amazing. Everybody messes up in their life but not everybody is Lindsey Lohan from Long Island. WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Lifestyleunrated.com for all things media.

  46. the original bellaluna says:

    Walking pneumonia, my ass. Coming off a bender, more like, especially since she didn’t get any of those much-anticipated invites to the Hamptons for Labor Day Weekend.

    Poor pitiful Cracken.