Monica Bellucci supports the childfree: ‘Being a woman isn’t about having children’

These are some new photos of Monica Bellucci in Toronto, promoting her new film, Rhino Season. I can’t find a designer ID on the dress, but it’s giving me Dolce vibes, and it probably is D&G considering Monica has long been associated with the brand. But this isn’t a fashion or beauty post, although I do think Monica looks great. She’s 47 years old, and I believe (honestly) that she’s un-tweaked. I think this is just what she looks like at 47 with no extras but good wine and getting boned by Vincent Cassel (sigh…).

As I learned last year, Monica is always good for an interesting quote. She never tries to take back her witty and fascinating observations with the excuse of “lost in translation” either. Last year, Monica basically said that she and Vincent have a less “traditional” view of marital fidelity – basically, she knows he’s going to screw around, so all she expects from him is loyalty and elegance (meaning, perhaps, that if he screws around, he can’t flaunt it). So what does Monica have to say in a recent interview with Style Mag? Oh, there are lots of goodies.

Having babies in her late 30s and early 40s: “It was the perfect time. In my life, I do things late. I need to be calm, and to know and feel things are right. I’m sure there are great 20-year-old mothers, but I wasn’t into children at that age. Now I feel differently. I can stay with them without feeling as if I’m losing something.”

On the idea of being childless/childfree: “I would have been disappointed. But it’s different for every woman. I have so many friends who don’t have children and are happy. Being a woman isn’t about having children. But for me, I needed to go through the experience.”

She now organizes her work around being a mom: “I try to organize my time according to them, because they need me. I don’t want to put my work first anymore, because it’s not as important. I organize my time very well – I don’t like to miss my children.”

Always bet on black: “Black is my favorite color. A simple black dress is the most perfect thing. Sometimes, I think, if I gain weight, I will just wear black because it’s easier.”

Intelligence & self-confidence are as important as physical beauty: “Beauty is a problem if you’re stupid, but not if you know how to use it. I know many beautiful people, but their lives are just terrible because they don’t know that being comfortable is not about what you look like, but how you feel.”

She works out. Occasionally. “I began after Leonie was born,” Monica sighed. “But I don’t like to do it every day, or watch what I eat. I’m not a machine — I should be in good shape, but have never felt that I have to be skinny.”

[Via Ahlan Live & Film News]

I love her statement: “I have so many friends who don’t have children and are happy. Being a woman isn’t about having children. But for me, I needed to go through the experience.” It’s her experience, and she isn’t judging the women that choose not to become moms. I wish more women thought/felt like that, that the experience of being a woman isn’t solely or exclusively about motherhood. Sigh… I love her.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

 

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183 Responses to “Monica Bellucci supports the childfree: ‘Being a woman isn’t about having children’”

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  1. RocketMerry says:

    YAY!!! Monica is gorgeous and thoughtful, as usual. Sigh…

  2. lisa2 says:

    I don’t think people are saying every woman should have kids. I don’t have them nor have ever wanted them. I love children and work and spend a lot of time with them. And know how difficult it is to be a parent and raise them the best you can.

    I think some women are talked about because they are forever putting it out there that they want them or will have them. So my thing is if you do fine if you don’t fine.. but stop sending out mixed signals for the purpose of self promotion.

    My take is women can have as many or as few or none. I’m not the one raising them. I just get tired of the women constantly talking about having kids and not. Having babies is not a given even if you want them. So many women struggle with conceiving. So for those that talk like they can have them at the drop of a hat all because they say OH I’m ready now.. Well life doesn’t work on our clock.

    • Mel says:

      I don’t think people are saying that every woman should have kids, but rather, a lot of women (mostly mothers) are saying if you choose not to have kids, then you are somehow missing out, or will never experience this amazing level of love/happiness etc. Which I find patronising and annoying. Thats been my personal experience, and if you haven’t been subjected to that, then I’m glad for you! I like that Monica is saying you can be childless and live a happy life. I would add a fulfilling life, too. People need to be less invested in other people’s life choices, and just get on with making their own lives the best they can be :-)

      • Rhea says:

        I agree that people need to be less invested in other people’s life choice. In my culture, often times it’s the people around you who would bother you if you don’t have a child yet at a certain age.

        Starting from the age of 25, your parents, cousins and friends would bother you with : “when will you get married?” question. Heck, your neighbors from 5 blocks down would ask that first when they first see you! LOL.

        If you already married the question would be : “when will you get pregnant?” Sigh.

        It’s very pressuring if you keep hearing it all the time. If you are 30 and STILL single, they would think that something MUST BE wrong with you.

        Often times this would pressure women in my culture to accept the first man who can seriously propose a marriage to them, without really making sure they found the right husband-to-be, for fear of being looked down as someone different in a society. It doesn’t matter if you have a very success position in your job. That would be the thing they talk the most about you.

        Personally, I think a woman should be able to make a decision about her life without being pressure by the society around.

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        @Mel-THIS^!!! This exactly.

      • Seagulls says:

        I’m sorry that people say that to you. I liken having kids to there being a brand new color that you can see suddenly. It adds a dimension, but you didn’t know what you were missing before and you’re not really missing anything. I never understand why parents deliberately misrepresent having kids. I only have a two year old, and he’s well worth it, but it’s a heckuva lot more work than I ever imagined and lots of things are and will be a lot harder to do for years.

      • michkabibbles says:

        there are some people out there that absolutely say things like this. i was recently told that i was a mere spectator in life because, at 36, i’ve never had children and never ‘properly’ cared for anyone.

      • OriginalTiffany says:

        Yay Mel! I’ve got two, but my very best friends have chosen not to have children. They are no less fulfilled, they lead amazing lives with purpose and I think it is so rude that someone would ever condescend to women that have made that choice.

        The uterus brigade needs to keep it to themselves!

        I love my kids to death, but I completely understand those who don’t. I don’t care. What I do hate is my one former friend who had a kid she didn’t really want and pawned her off on her mom 24/7. I can’t get with that.

        The world is filled with different people, I still do not or ever will understand the judgey people out there. Worry about your own damned life!

        Oh and Monica is gorgeous and looks very natural to me. Love her.

      • TQB says:

        Sorry, but likening parenthood to “seeing another color” is the same as saying “you’re missing out.” And it’s crap. I say this even more emphatically now that I have a child. It’s a personal decision and the suggestion that women who don’t have kids are in any way lesser or missing out is just garbage.

        My child-free friends make excellent aunties and are an important part of my “village.” They see all the colors, trust me.

      • Kay_la says:

        When I tell people I don’t want children I always get “well you’ll change your mind”, it’s so condescending. I understand that people do change their mind about wanting children, but I would never dare act as though I know someone better than they do.

      • Seagulls says:

        @TQB – no, it’s not. It’s an experience that many people do not have, but it doesn’t mean they’re “missing out.” You cannot miss out on what you neither have nor want.

      • Imelda says:

        @ Seagulls – but dont you see you are missing out too!
        I have 2 children myself and I have to make so many sacrifices for them that I know I’m missing out on stuff that I simply cannot do/afford to do.
        I do it willingly (sometimes hanker for my single life) but we cant have everything. I firmly believe that my friends who dont have children aren’t missing out on a single thing.

    • littlemissnaughty says:

      Oh yes, if you’re single and childless after a certain age (I’m not even 30 for the love of Pete!), especially if suddenly people start having kids left, right, and center …. yeah, you’ll get the “question”. I’ve never said I don’t want kids, I always say that I don’t know because I’m not going to have them for the sake of having them.
      People. Flip. Out. Whaaaaa …..? But HOW can you not want to experience this MIRACLE??? …. Chill the eff out, I did not say that. But if I make my life all about that, I could end up being a depressed old fart. You can plan and want things but you need a plan B and C and even D.

      Right now I make it about my career because I can and I want to. I would never go around and tell all those new moms that too bad, they will now never know the joys of making tons of money and having an exciting career and that they will be forever unfulfilled.

      To each their (her) own.

      ETA: Belucci is insanely beautiful. I would hate her if she wasn’t so fabulous.

      • IzzyB says:

        I keep getting this: “You’re alone? No children? Oh, you poor thing! There’s still time”

        Or “you don’t want kids? Why don’t you like kids?” I like kids just fine.

        I know how you feel littlemissnaughty.

        Thankfully my friends don’t care, and I get to be Fun Aunty Izzy then hand them back at the end of the day.

      • littlemissnaughty says:

        LMAO Oh hell yes, the “There’s still time.” response. How I loathe it. There’s still time to live up to your idea of what life should look like? Nice.
        It’s like you said, I like kids just fine. I was never around them much so maybe that’s why I don’t flip out every time there’s a baby nearby but I don’t “hate” them. However, it is really fun to freak people out with a bitchy “Ew. They’re loud and they poop. I think not.” They judge you just as much, if not more, but at least that’ll shut up the almost-strangers who think they should comment on what you do with your life and uterus.

    • RobN says:

      Lots of people, women especially, play the you’re not a real woman if you haven’t had children card. Generally it’s women who put off having kids and then proclaim their previous lives a waste of time once they’ve had one. It’s like people who lose weight or give up drinking or smoking; they can’t shut up about it and can’t accept that you’ve made a different choice.

      • Seagulls says:

        From those parents I would actually imagine it’s a combination of shock and regret masquerading as faux concer, “oh, you can’t miss this, it’s too precious!”

      • Becky1 says:

        Yes, sadly, there are unfortunately women (and men) who really think that. I was actually told by a former co-worker that “women who don’t have children aren’t really women.” She said this to me knowing that I didn’t have kids. Of course, she was also a miserable, negative b*tch who never had a good thing to say about anybody or anything.

      • Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

        The old bitter versus smug boat keeps rolling. My uterus isn’t involved in this, so I not writing out womb autobiography, here.

        If I were to venture some guesses as to why women who aren’t maternally inclined get so het up about this is because no one likes being told that she doesn’t know her own mind so it’ left to the sagacity of mothers–the Oracles–to convince women of the impetuous folly that clouds the heads of those who have not *yet, always ‘yet’ challenged the very bonds of her interior walls. Many of the best mothers I know happen to be women but who wants to deal with that kind of ‘mother knows best’ attitude from some random dame whose interjections are neither needed or appreciated in some cases. One font of maternal badgering (in general) is enough.

        The same prescribed schedule seems to be issued at every female birth for the very purpose of keeping said female’s mind on getting through the ‘proof of maturity’ checklist in a timely fashion. And every woman who doesn’t take to the mothering path beams out these signals to rest of the populace and these aren’t very ‘You Go, Girl’ signals which include:

        -She’s too repellent to be able to secure a baby-friendly romantic relationship.

        -She’s too selfish to put in the work required for child rearing.

        -She’s too deficient in character and/or don’t have to earning power to do it right. Prove it if you’re not.

        -She didn’t make a choice, she just doesn’t her shit together and is hiding behind ‘personal will’. I’ll hag her until she ‘gets it’ then wait around to criticise her feeding techniques.

        Just as mothers don’t want to be told that life ends at mom jeans, ladies who don’t have children are wasting their purpose on an overly-long preamble to true maturity.

        Who wants to hear that?

      • Really? says:

        On the other hand, there’s also the worn-out, disenchanted, scar-ridden tummy mummy who WANTS you to go through exactly the same hell that SHE did.

        Misery loves company, and so does mama.

    • Jilliterate says:

      You may not believe that people are saying every woman should have kids, but I can tell you from experience that there are lots of people who there who DO say that. There’s a reason Childfree Bingo cards exist. Every day, Childfree people have to eat shit for their choices, from family, friends, coworkers, and apparently health care professionals (Not something I’ve experienced, but I’ve heard the horror stories). I’m under thirty and was recently sterilized with some careful questioning from doctors but no real trouble, and you wouldn’t believe how rare my story is — I’m convinced it only happened because I live in an extremely liberal area of Canada. Nulliparous woman under the age thirty have to jump through incredible hoops for the health care industry to take them seriously, with some doctors and nurses undermining their right to make a choice about their own bodies by claiming they’re just afraid the woman is going to change her mind later.

      I get where you’re coming from — most people won’t flat-out say that they believe all women should have kids. But they frequently find others ways to say it, and the health care industry (in North America at least) is very difficult to sway on the idea.

      • Tiffany says:

        I don’t want children, and have been with my partner for a very long time. I get asked ALL THE TIME “when are you going to have kids”…and I have to very gently tell them that I don’t really want to have kids (see even the “really” I just wrote was a word used to soften.). People get personally offended if you tell them YOU do not want to have kids. They take it as a judgement on their choices, so I have to be so careful about how I explain choices about my own life. Other women act as if I am crazy, or they pity me because I just don’t get it yet.

        I read Revolutionary Road again the other day…and I really think that would be me if I was forced into parenthood. I don’t think everyone was meant to have children.

      • bettyrose says:

        @Jilliterate – In my mid-thirties, my obgyn told me there was “no way” a reputable doctor would agree to performing a sterilization procedure on someone my age. *ROLLS EYES*

      • Sher says:

        This attitude that women can’t make up their minds about their own bodies is disgusting.

        I know a woman who wasn’t able to find a doctor who would tie her tubes a couple of years ago, when she was about 30, and she even HAS two children! I’m also in Canada, although not a very liberal area.

        She was single at the time, so the doctors said, what if you start dating someone who wants children? She told them, well, they’re not going to have them with me! It’s ridiculous. I’m pretty sure she’s more than a walking talking incubator.

        Anyway, yeah. Childfree here and loving it. And any woman who suggests that she knows better than me what I should do with my life is going to get a punch in the mouth.

    • ZenB!tch says:

      With Ann Romney’s speeches about how more or less every woman is a mother or a potential mother, I do think the mighty “they” are bringing back the “A woman is not fulfilled without having a child” thing.

      I personally, chose not to have children and yes I can still change my mind but I won’t.” The mommy brigade offends me not because of me. I know I made the right choice for me and any possible child I could have. I’m too flighty to be a mom.

      I’m offended because I know some women who would be great moms but couldn’t be. While *I* believe adoption is a valid and wonderful choice, I don’t get that vibe from the Ann Romney’s of the world. What I get from them is that we all need to pop out at least 2 to be “true women”. I’m against anything that makes a woman feel like a failure through no fault of her own – yes I am talking to YOU Gisele and the rest of the breast feeding brigade. Not every mom can and not every baby wants to.

      –end of rant.

      • BeccaZ says:

        Look how far the ladies have come in the world when a potential First Lady makes these kinds of speeches. Its bad enough when men do it, but I find it infuriating when women basically tell other women that being a wife/mother is all we have to offer the world. That’s our only value.

      • Lisa Marconi says:

        Interesting statement from Ann Romney considering she is of a class that promotes population reduction – culling the “useless eaters”. Of course she won’t say that on the campaign trail…but just wait until the next round of f*ckery we will be subjected to regardless of which freak gets into the White House…

      • Becky1 says:

        Yes! In her speech at the convention, Ann Romney spoke about “mothers”…she didn’t really talk about women…the focus was on mothers and the contributions mothers make. If it were a Mother’s Day speech I could understand it, but not at a political convention. Why not address women in general and not just mothers? I thought that her speech disregarded all the positive things that women (not just women who are mothers) do. What about Condaleeza Rice? She’s not a mother but is very bright and has contributed a lot to the Republican party. I know she was in the audience during Ann Romney’s speech…I wonder what was going through her mind?

    • Angel says:

      I have never wanted to be a mother. Even as a child, I just knew. My friends would be playing with their baby dolls, dreaming of being mommies someday. I was dreaming of college and an amazing career.

      I respect anyone that chooses to be a parent. I truly think it’s the hardest job in the world. I’m very maternal towards my younger brother as I helped raise him after our mom died. But it’s just not part of my path to be a mom. I’m 41, I highly doubt I will change my mind. But to this day, friends and family still think it’s funny or ok to tell me I’ll change my mind. I’ve been with my husband for 20 years, it ain’t gonna happen people. It’s insulting and patronizing to me. I don’t judge my friends that choose to raise children.

      An former friend literally told me there is no point to my life if I don’t have children, as we are animals and animals are on earth to procreate. I wanted to slap a bitch. So I guess all the volunteer work i do, the loving relationships I’ve developed with people I care for deeply and my career mean nothing. I haven’t contributed to this planet at all. As if.

      • Kath says:

        I totally 100% agree with you. Even as a young child I knew that being a mother was not for me.

        And besides (which I can’t believe no one has mentioned) – there are now OVER SEVEN BILLION people on this planet. In 1950, there were just 2.5 billion…

        Think about that for a minute…

        The planet cannot sustain this kind of population growth forever.

        And if women feel like they don’t want to procreate, then that’s their business and they shouldn’t be told that they’re somehow ‘incomplete’.

      • Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

        Geez.

        It’s not about hating mothers, it’s about hating being badgered.

        I wonder, what a woman thinks of her own life before children if she can be so inflexible about the value of a life that doesn’t involve parenting?

  3. Cherry says:

    Ahh, La Bellucci. Gotta love her. ‘Beauty is a problem if you’re stupid, but not if you know how to use it.’ *cough*JessicaBiel*cough*

  4. Nan says:

    *sigh” Lovely woman. And so glad she is voicing the opinion that womanhood must equal motherhood.

  5. Micki says:

    I agree on all points apart from wearing black for “slimming”. Many people do but it hides less than they hope.

  6. Shitler says:

    Gorgeous woman. Is it bad that I think She & La Jolie would make the hottest couple ever..?

  7. mk yarwood says:

    She’s getting my Nonna’s ankles. Cursed Italian ankles!

  8. Mew says:

    I think more women should really think that as an option and not get children “just because all my friends have them” and then really hate their lives but being unable to confess it because that would be just so wrong to say “I can’t stand my kids”…. and that just promts so many more problems.

    It’s just fine to be without children, just as it’s fine to be with them.

    • Samigirl says:

      I agree 100% with your statement as well as hers. One of my girlfriends told me everyone is like “omg whyyyy?!” when she says she and her hubby aren’t having children. Like there is something wrong with her. There absolutely is not!

      • Seagulls says:

        I have one friend (who reads this site and knows my screen name. Hi, there, EP!) and I’m not so much concerned about *her* missing anything as the world missing out on the awesome child she’d have, so I kid her occasionally. To anyone else without kids, not. a. word. I know this thread is about Bellucci’s statement about the validity of choosing not to have a kid, but the people I know who are childless are that way because their partner refuses, or they can’t get pregnant, or they’ve had miscarriages. I know they just die inside when asked why they aren’t having kiddos.

    • Christina says:

      Absolutely.

      Childfree people like myself are always being told ‘Oh but you’ll regret it later’. (I’m pretty sure I won’t). But you never ever hear the same being said to those who want to have children. It would be considered quite rude to do so, in fact.

      And yet, one is just as likely – if not more likely – to regret having kids as to regret not having them. After all, it’s one of those decisions which is completely irreversible and completely life-changing. It’s entirely possible to regret it. Of course, few would ever admit it, certainly not to fellow parents, because they’re afraid people will think they don’t love their kids, which isn’t the case at all.

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        @Samigirl-you’re awesome. Seriously. You often post about your kids and it’s clear how much you love them but you’re always so supportive of those of us who are thus far childless or those of us who choose to NOT have kids.
        It speaks so much to the kind of person you are!
        :)

      • MorticiansDoItDeader says:

        @christina, my parents neighbors had a child in their mid-to-late thirties and totally regret it! They tell me about it every chance they get and look for any excuse to dump her so they can do what they want. I laugh along with the mother when she talks about how much the kid is interfering with their life, but my heart secretly breaks for the little girl. As the mother of two boys (and someone who needed reproductive assistance to conceive), I would love to have a little girl. So, seeing her parents take her for granted is VERY difficult for me and I do wonder if they love her (or they just got pregnant on a whim because their friends were doing it). I have very little respect for these people, but I DO respect people who know what they want, don’t cave into peer pressure, and realize that there isn’t a place for children in their life.

      • OriginalTiffany says:

        Ugh, Mort, see my above comment about my former BF.

        Seems all my best friends now are child free. Each one a lovely woman who loves, laughs and has a great life.

        Having a kid and then doing that? No.
        I do know of a woman on tour with three who posts all the time about wishing she didn’t have her little burdens. That explains why all of them are still in diapers and the oldest is 9!!! She admits her ego is too big to share her life with her kids, now that is detestable. If you feel like that why have them and why blog about it so they can read your words someday? Bitch.

      • Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

        Can’t do any worse than Brigitte Bardot, who referred to her gestating son as a ‘tumor’ on the record. She only agreed to have the child because after a string of abortions, Roger Vadim all but begged her to allow him to be a father–just once and she could again decide to terminate any future pregnancies. Where do you think that marriage or mother-child bond went?

        Don’t have kids because it’s the next logical step *I guess* or to shut someone up. Apparently their marriage was collapsing at the time that Contempt was being filmed and she drew a lot of ‘inspiration’ from those circumstances in her creation of her character Camille.

        I don’t know how many of you have already seen, but it has to be one of the most toxic fictional marriages ever committed to screen–seriously. It definitely kicks Lion In Winter’s Eleanor of Aquitaine and Henry II in the family tumors and keeps pace with Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Woolf’s George and Martha. Harrowing, but at least I got the ending I wanted vis-a-vis Contempt.

    • Malificent says:

      Also agree with you and Monica. I chose to have a child as a single mom when I was in my late 30s. And it was far and away the most difficult choice that I have ever made — I’d always known that I wanted a child, but worried that I could do right by him after I brought him into this world.

      I’ve gotten some grief from others over the years for my choice — but not nearly as much judgement as some of my married friends who have chosen not to have children. Even if people deem my choice thoughtless or selfish, my maternal instincts are considered socially acceptable. My married friends who choose to remain childfree seem to get no end of judgement for being unnaturaly or (ironically) selfish.

      My son is the joy of my life, but others should be welcome to find joy in their lives however they see fit. The only bad choice is to have a child that you don’t really want.

  9. Starsky says:

    I think she is the most gorgeous woman in the film industry and I want Vincent Cassel. Anything she says in golden in my opinion.

    • MorticiansDoItDeader says:

      Personally, I have a problem with the idea that men can’t control their penises. HE can do what he wants as long as he’s discreet, but what about her? I think this particular arrangement makes him took weak and selfish and her look like a doormat who is willing to keep her husband at all costs. Flame me if you like, but I think this speaks to a great power imbalance in their relationship.

      • EmmaStoneWannabe says:

        +1 VERY well said. Completely agree.

      • lafairy says:

        She actually does the same but it is just not as documented as for her husband, by saying they have an unconventional marriage she is just stating with rare honesty in their industry that they have an open marriage.

      • Christina says:

        Agree completely. If Monica and Vincent genuinely have an open marriage, that’s one thing. Would never work for me, but it’s their marriage. However, often when people speak of ‘open marriages’ what they really mean is that one partner – invariably the man – is free to screw around while the wife agrees to turn a blind eye. That’s not an open marriage – that’s just a traditional double standard.

        And don’t get me started on that whole ‘men are dogs and can’t keep it in their pants’ nonsense. Yes, they can, if they want to enough and if there will be serious consequences for their not doing so. Bellucci’s words are simply adding to the stereotype that it’s inevitable that men will stray and that women just have to be realistic and put up with it. No, they don’t.

      • MorticiansDoItDeader says:

        @christine, than you and very well said.

      • what?! says:

        @ Christina+1, so true. we are meant to trust men, like those in the government-trust them with women’s bodies via healthcare yet apparently they cant even control one part of their own. oh the hyprocrisy. women get more crap for cheating because they are not supposed to want sex but men get a pass because they “cant control themselves”. hence why I hate gender/sex stereotypes, it lets one party get away with shit the other party would be persecuted for!

  10. mk yarwood says:

    As for the kids thing, even when I was in my NO KIDS stage of life, I didn’t hate on them. I don’t think they’re a waste of time, a waste of space (hello, species!) and I do think they’re worth the effort. I think they do allow us to access better parts of ourselves easier. But obviously, I’m really glad I have child free ladies to go out with every once in awhile, haha.

  11. IamAcylon says:

    Too bad she supports Polanksi.
    Used to love her and Cassel (since ‘Hate’). So I don not get the ‘gushing’ about her. I prefer a ‘dumb’ Jessic Biel to her rapist defending ass. Only my 2 cents.

    • Ailine says:

      Thats too bad about the Polanski thing. You don’t have to pick either or. I actually would prefer someone is smart and misguided to someone stupid. At least I could have a conversation or a debate with Monica that was interesting.

      • IamAcylon says:

        I get your point but I personally draw the line with people supporting child rapists. Thinking that she has children makes my stomach turn. In my opinion somebody defending a Polanski with lame ass excuses is beyond dumb. I also realized that some people (considered as ‘darlings’) can get away with everything. Somebody less popular would have been massacred for defending him. Only my opinion.

      • Asiyah says:

        “At least I could have a conversation or a debate with Monica that was interesting.”

        That’s what I’m saying! I didn’t know about her support for Polanski and I don’t like that at all, but at least I can debate with her about it.

    • I Choose Me says:

      Let me state that this is no way a defense of Polanski. What he did was reprehensible and I wish he’d been punished accordingly but people are not black and white. You’ve only read about the case and don’t know the man so it’s easy to be objective. The celebs defending him on the other hand have known and worked with him for years. They see a talented older man with a family who loves his kids and I imagine that perception of him is hard to reconcile with what he did. I’m speculating of course, but I know first hand that it’s easier to defend someone you know who seems by all appearances to be a good person. My cousin stabbed his wife to death in front of witnesses and I still have a hard time reconciling that person with the guy I grew up with. Also my 2 cents.

  12. NM6804 says:

    She’s my imaginary wife since I saw her in Irréversible. Her interviews are always intelligent and interesting. She’s just great.

  13. Courtney says:

    this idiot is one to talk she’s got two daughters. having children is if a woman is able one of the most rewarding experiences in life. look for example at Peter & Henry Elkind they adore their mother aunts & grandmother and are by all accounts well behaved young men

  14. MonicaQ says:

    I’m 27 and I can’t really entertain the thought of having children though I’ve been with my husband for eleven years and married for three. Too much student loan debt between the two of us (combined $97,000) and yet both our families have been pressuring us since we were 22!

    Twenty-two! We hadn’t even graduated yet! I’m pretty sure we’ll have kids at some point but I always get the look of pity and, “D’aw, but you two would be such good parents! And you’re married!” Since when did married = children? /sigh. Totally agree with her–I’m a woman and what does it mean if I have kids or not? I don’t magically have to change my driver license sex to F because I have kids–it’s already F.

    • Nanz01 says:

      Preach it! I had my first kid at 31. I posted below and won’t rehash, but I totally co-sign what you’ve said! Take your time.

    • lucy2 says:

      You and your husband sound like thoughtful, responsible people who know what you can and can’t handle at the time. I give you a lot of credit for that, too many people jump in head first without thinking things through. It’s a shame your families can’t see that!

    • Jayna says:

      I have a friend who never felt ready early on. She and her husband had a great life, big social life, traveling a lot, building their businesses, but always living life to the fullest. She didn’t have her first until 39. She had to have in vitro, but it took the first time. She at 44 just had her second, using someone else’s eggs and her husband’s sperm. The baby is adorable. She is so pretty and young and vibrant looking that she doesn’t look like an older mom. She is financially secure and still lives a great life. She did it the way that was right for her, later in life. She said it was a risk, what if she couldn’t have babies, but she is the type that would have adopted or would have been fine without children if that’s how her life turned out. Her husband felt the same way. They can’t imagine not have these little ones, but that’s hindsight. They were happy before too with no children or even just the one if they hadn’t been able to get pregnant again with help.

  15. Nessa says:

    She epitomizes sexy to me. And she seems likable. She is definitely one of my girl crushes!!!

  16. ghoulish_moose says:

    I’ve always thought that Dita Von Teese would be the sort to not have children. Nothing wrong with that of course. Such a shame though, Dita is gorgeous, and just imagine if she had a girl! That wardrobe inheritence!!

  17. Nanz01 says:

    I don’t understand why this is even an issue. Why does anyone care whether a woman chooses to have a child or not. I didn’t realize this was a thing until I had my first kid. A cousin said to me, “I’m so glad life is finally coming together for you.” !!!!!! I am a college grad, almost done with a Master’s degree, and had a successful career (until I quit to go back to grad school), am a homeowner, pay bills, etc. and having a child is what made life “come together” for me?! I didn’t even want kids for the longest time and didn’t even know I was being judged for it! Another great comment when I was preggo was “why did you and your husband wait so long?” we had only been married 2 yrs! SMH. I just can’t understand why in the 21st century there still exists the expectation that women are meant to procreate. When will we ever be/do enough?

  18. LucyOriginal says:

    What an incredible woman!
    It’s refreshing to see an actress giving a good interview and saying something relevant.

  19. Christina says:

    ‘Untweaked’?

    I don’t think so. A year or two ago there were photos where she looked very puffy-faced. Her face has settled a bit since then and she looks great now, but I don’t believe she has had nothing done.

  20. Khalesi says:

    Her comments are definitely refreshing, but she’s starting to look like ashley judd…weird

  21. EssJjay says:

    For do long some women have use having kids as trophies for: growing up; being married and “doing well” which inturn produce children that wants to get away from resentful parents that always say “this is the thanks l get…for all l gaveup to have you?” Thank God for women who dont feel they need children to “complete” them.

    • BeccaZ says:

      Ha! This is so true.

      One of my coworkers always nags me and says, “Just have one kid. Everyone should have at least one.” A kid is not a houseplant. Even one kid is a huge responsibility.

      Then this woman follows up her “just one” comment with “But who will take care of you when you’re old?” Which pretty much tells you what kind of parent this woman is. Having kids is no guarantee that they’ll let you move in when you’re 80. I always wanted to laugh at her and say, “I’ll save you a spot at the nursing home.”

      • ohiogirl says:

        Kids are really expensive so if anyone is having kids just for an insurance policy when they are old they should realize that saving the money and investing it for their own future would be a much better way to ensure they are taken care of how they want to be when they are older. I know SOOO many people who don’t live anywhere near their elderly parents who are in nursing homes.

        I don’t have kids yet but plan to try as soon as my maternity coverage kicks in…but one thing I can’t stand is when people act like you’re not an adult yet or are somehow frivolous just because you don’t have kids. Like parenting is somehow a magical key to being an adult.

  22. lucy2 says:

    Good for her for realizing that all people are different, and what works for one won’t work for another- and that it’s OK!

  23. ramona says:

    I’m another member of the married-and-we’ve-decided-not-to-have-kids contingency. And apparently, I’m very lucky – neither my mother nor his parents have ever pressured us to do so. Odd how it’s always people I barely know who seem deeply wounded by the fact I’m not reproducing…

  24. Katie Too says:

    I see her and suddenly the urge to motorboat overwhelms me. She’ exemplifies sex. Didn’t know about the Polanski thing though.

    Still would motorboat, but maybe be slightly ashamed.

  25. Michele says:

    She certainly is a gorgeous woman. I agree, I don’t think she has had any work done to her face. She is aging very gracefully with the help of good genes and a healthy outlook on life.

  26. Eleonor says:

    She has an incredible face, great genes good products, probably some chemichal peeling, but I bet boning Vincent Cassel can do miracles for wrinkles.

  27. potatopeel says:

    I wish more people would opt to ‘not’ have children – just having a child does not make you a parent! I have had the statement “oh, that’s right – you wouldn’t understand, you don’t have children” thrown in my face one too many times. Just because I don’t have kids doesn’t mean I don’t understand ABOUT them. I guess some people see it as a badge of honor – or a badge of some sort. They don’t realize it doesn’t make them any better than the person who didn’t have any children. Silly people.

  28. jc126 says:

    Smart woman. Nice to see someone respecting others’ choices and not putting them down as lesser beings, or selfish.

  29. Isa says:

    Her comments are great and I agree with her regarding children.
    A lot of celebrities state their opinions on children as facts as ruffle a lot of feathers. I want another child but I always feel guilty since the world is so overpopulated as it is.
    So I fully support anyone that doesnt want children! :D

  30. tru tru says:

    I get pressure all the time from my friends and family–like my life is non existent w/o children.

    I graduate w/my Masters next yr, own my condo and do not have many bills.

    Me and my bf (of 5 yrs)will get married when I gradaute next yr and we both do not want children.

    I’ll continue to help my friends who are single mothers when I can, by watching their kiddies and helping out financially when they can’t afford certain things.

    I’m good, someone finally said it out loud that it is ok.

  31. Asiyah says:

    I absolutely love her! I think she is so beautiful and she just seems like a person you can have a good conversation with. Black is my favorite color too, and her opinion on women who don’t have children is on point. Not every woman wants (or can) have children. It doesn’t make that woman any less of a female. Love you, Monica <3

  32. bangarang says:

    I’m sick of all the lables being attributed to your gender/charecter or whatever. Just be you, do what ever makes you happy

  33. snappyfish says:

    everyone makes their choice in life, and everyone’s choice is valid. being a parent does not make you a happier, better person, and neither does not being a parent.

  34. irishserra says:

    I guess I never really paid attention enough to grasp how sensitive some women get when asked about their lack of children. I’m surprised it’s an issue, but then I had my children in my early 20s and they certainly weren’t planned, so I wouldn’t be able to completely grasp a childless peer’s feelings on the matter.

    However, I agree with Monica that women can be happy as mothers or not. Every woman can contribute something to the world we live in and children aren’t necessarily THE answer (I hate to say it, but there are some juvenile “contributions” that the world could have done without). I hope everyone can figure out theirs and be content with it.

  35. Stubbylove says:

    I adore this woman – beyond gorgeous both inside and out because she has taken her time and knows who she is. Down-to-earth & class act – a lovely combination.

  36. Isa says:

    Oh and don’t think that people that have children escape from the pressure or rude comments. They just change! People that only want one child get pressure and questions about having anther and giving their first a sibling. People with two children of the same sex get pressure about trying for the opposite. And then you have all the parenting advice and know it alls.

    • Jilliterate says:

      You’re spot on about that. I’m Childfree and that means I’ve got a lot of struggles to endure myself, but I seriously don’t envy how involved strangers think they can be when children are the subject. Pregnant women have strangers running their hands over their stomach, and when they’re out with infants they receive unwanted tips about how to care for them. I’m all about the idea of educating yourself and learning more from people with experience, but it seems like when women are pregnant or have young children, it suddenly becomes everybody’s business. I think it might stem from this idea that a woman’s uterus is public domain… :P

      • MorticiansDoItDeader says:

        @isa, ITA! I get more unsolicited advice than most people I know. If I’m in the supermarket I’m told I should use a cart cover, if my eldest is running in his fireman boots I’m told he really shouldn’t be wearing them because they aren’t made to run in and he might fall. B*tch I know these things, but sometimes the little things aren’t worth arguing about. My friend told me I should perfect my b*tch face. She insists that no one says sh*t to her because she always looks pissed off and they’re probably afraid she’ll bite their heads off. Lol

      • Isa says:

        Yup so true! I think people should butt out. I admit I have to try really hard to not ask people when or if they are going to have kids. I’m pretty nosy. But I’d never try to make people feel bad about their decision!
        I don’t really get advice anymore. Most people just compliment my children About being cute. I have a bitchface so there might be something there! I did get a lot of unsolicited comments while I was pregnant. I think I’m “softer” then and people can’t resist a pregnant woman.
        I had people tell me a bunch of old wives tales and horrific birth stories. I had someone ask if my baby was planned (doesn’t matter now!) and another guy asked if I knew what caused babies and if I planned on taking care of it!

  37. LeeLoo says:

    I love Monica. She’s very pretty and outspoken.

    I’m marrying my bf of 4 1/2 years next year. We will have kids but not until after I finish my Ph.D school work. I’ll be 30 or 31. For me, I want kids whether I push them out or adopt them, I want them. It’s my choice. Kids are so fragile that I don’t want them until I know I can give them a good life and be there for them 100%.

    My family has never pressured me on kids. I have endometrosis so I may have difficulty conceiving if I am able to at all. His dad never pressured us either but his mom (who has never liked me to begin with) freaked out when it was mentioned we may end up adopting instead of having kids of our own. When he explained why, she suggested he find someone who can actually have his kids for certain as she isn’t sure she will be able to love non-biological grandkids. She expects grandkids and claims no one has a fulfilled life unless they have kids. But at the same time she’s the one who lost custody of her own kids when her ex-husband (my soon to be father-in-law) divorced her. He was unhappy in their marriage and wanted a divorce, her primary goal was to make his life hell for it, so much so she neglected her kids and was cited for being mentally unstable by a family judge. She’s had a poor relationship with her kids ever since.

    Women need to spend some time and evaluate why they want kids. I think a lot of women and people who make their kids their entire life and preach about how life is unfulfilling before kids mean what they say. Their life WAS unfulfilling as is their emotional state. Their marriage, their interpersonal relationships tend to be quite superficial. I think a lot of celebrities make those statements because they realize they live very superficial lives. Look at many of the soccer moms who say those things, those women are the ones who wind up getting divorced or have husbands who step out on them. Look at Goopy or Jen Garner. Both of them are rumored to have husbands who have cheated on them. Not saying those rumors are true but that it’s women who seem to harbor insecurities in their relationships with their s/o’s. Monica is very secure in her relationship and her kids so she is capable of seeing other world views. Those who tend to be insecure tend to see only theirs because they are too busy trying to pretend everything in their life is perfect.

    I’m probably going to get a lot of flack for my comments (if you even read my mini novella here). It’s just my general opinion on women who make those statements. They usually wish to compensate for an area of their life that is lacking. Whether it is their relationship, insecurities about not having marketable job skills or having kids really young, there’s always something they are lacking and use being a mother or having kids as a shield to get people to ignore something else.

    • BeccaZ says:

      Leeloo, ITA. When I hear women talk about how superficial their lives were before kids when they’re giving me the “Why don’t you want kids?” spiel, I think, “That’s YOUR life, not mine.” There’s nothing stopping them from living a fulfilling life pre-kids. There’s plenty in this world that needs fixing. There’s plenty of worthwhile things to do before you have a family (although, having kids shouldn’t stop anyone from contributing positively to the world).

    • anon33 says:

      No flaming here, and I read every word. I ABSOLUTELY agree with you. My cousin did EXACTLY that-she and the kid’s father are now divorced-and she neglects her kid all the time. It’s really sad.

    • I Choose Me says:

      Wish there was a like button so I could like this a thousand times. Read and agree with this assessment so hard.

  38. Runs with Scissors says:

    Does the term “child-free” bug anyone else? Like a child is a trans fat or a calorie or something? I’ve heard people use this term who refer to adopted children as “accessories” ugh.

    The term child-less is equally disturbing to me, as it implies a deficiency or loss, which is stupid.

    The best I’ve heard is ‘people who choose not to have children.’ no judgyness, just a fact, a choice, and it avoids a label feel… but it’s long.

    Maybe it’s just me…

    • Ella says:

      I guess “child-free” is just a more cheerful way of saying “child-less.” “Childless” makes one sound “barren.” I don’t have kids, but I don’t really fit into the category of “people who choose not to have children” because I’d quite like some.

    • Lacie says:

      Quite honestly, many people feel that children are a burden they’d rather not have and “childfree” is guiltless while “childless” makes it sound like something is wrong with us for not wanting kids, though we would feel wrong if we had them…we think. Heh.

      Anyway, it’s a way of taking the guilt out of the decision, but I agree that if you think about it too much, it does sound like kid-bashing. Lesser of two evils I guess.

    • GrandPoobah says:

      I like childfree because it implies a happy person going about their business without a child-sort of like being carefree.

      And like Ella said, “people who choose not to have children” isn’t exactly accurate because I’m childfree now but I do want to have kids one day.

      • Aura says:

        I’m sorry but you’re not using the term correctly.
        What you mean is “I don’t have children YET”. What ‘childfree’ stands for is choosing a life without having children. Ever. You shouldn’t label yourself in the first place in your case or just go with ‘non-parent’ or something neutral.

        The problem with misusing this terminology is that people who actually choose not to have children are not taken seriously because everyone assumes that it’s just the phase of their lives and that they will eventually have children.
        ‘Oh, I was childfree like you before I had kids. When are you having them?’ ‘Yeah, my friend was childfree and now she has x kids…’ In these cases people mentioned were never childfree, they just were childless/non-parents/didn’t have children.
        What’s even worse, misused term like that even creates problems: people (esp women) are denied sterilization because doctors have hard time realizing that it’s not just the phase of life but an actual life path.

        I’m sorry if I overreact on this but it’s already difficult as it is to be a childfree woman in this society without being judged, ridiculed, bingoed or constantly told ‘you will change your mind, all childfree people do and have kids’…

      • Christina says:

        Completely agree.

        If we take the term ‘childfree’ to mean you dont have kids now, but might some day, then the term is completely meaningless. Everyone is childfree at some stage, according to that logic.

        I’m childfree because I don’t have kids and I don’t want kids. That’s it. There’s no ‘I might have kids some day’ about it.

      • GrandPoobah says:

        I’m sorry if I offended you both, because that was not my intention at all.

        I had never heard that childfree only applies to women who choose not to have children.

        I will no longer use the term in relation to myself because I do want kids one day and the term doesn’t apply to me.

        Thank you for correcting me. I absolutely respect your choices and I don’t want to further create any kind of confusion surrounding the term :)

        I shall be “without children” from now on.

      • orion70 says:

        I like the term child-free because it doesn’t imply something is missing from your life in the same way childless does.

        But I also don’t think we need to get caught up in labels. Let people choose how they like to identify, no biggie, no point in being territorial over it.

        I was always one of those people who felt “if it happens it happens, but I don’t want the choice taken away from me”. My relationships didn’t take me down that path, and I struggled with it for a while, then acceptance. I was also never going to settle for just any guy so that I could get moving on the whole kids thing. And then cancer came along and sealed the deal anyway.

        I never made a huge, final decision and laminated my “childfree” card or anything.

      • Ella says:

        I don’t think you need to use the term “child-free” “correctly.” It’s just an expression, you can use it any way you like. There’s no need to form cliques of those with children, those who don’t want children and those who might have them eventually. Isn’t that basically what Monica Bellucci is saying? That you’re position in relation to child raising isn’t a big deal?

    • ruby says:

      I really agree with you… As a person who studies science it just makes no sense. If nature ran its course a human being would pretty much always end up with children (barring health problems). So really it’s something totaly natural and is the biological norm. Also, it’s tiring how often people imply children are some sort of subhuman, beings to be cut out of facebook and never talked about because they annoy other adults. Seriously ? You were a child once ! You’re there because your parents weren’t “free” of you. So I hate the term childfree.

      I would like to add that this is absolutely not a judgement of people who would rather not have children. That is entirely up to you and I wholheartedly respect your choice. Children should be wanted, not a burden. Some people live uplifting, fulfilling lives without having children and that’s great. It balances out the population. So go you !

      What I’m ranting about here is the unadapted terminology, and also a certain state of mind where people look down on the “breeders”. If you want to be respected, then have respect for others too.

      I dislike the term childless as well, because it implies you’re losing out on something. I suppose it could be very hurtful if you had infertility problems for instance. There needs to be another word, one that is neutral, for a change.

      • Becky1 says:

        @Ruby-I agree with you. I don’t have children, but I don’t particularly care for the term “childfree.” I like kids, but for various reasons have made a choice not to have them. Unfortunately, there are people who don’t have kids and are derogatory towards those that do (hence the obnoxious term “breeder”). I have only met one person like that IRL (although there are plenty online!) and found her to be rude and unpleasant to be around.
        People like that reflect poorly on those of us who like kids but choose not to have them.

  39. Ella says:

    Featuring pics of Monica Bellucci and Dina Lohan on the same day just makes Dina Lohan look a thousand times more cracked out.

  40. Erica says:

    *sigh* I didn’t think I could love this woman any more than I already did. I was wrong. :)

  41. k says:

    Thanks to all the ladies with kids that posted in support of those who chose not to. I’ve had family members say to me “it’s so sad that your life is so empty”. Uh… I have a great job (making 2-3 times more than they do, not that it matters but i wouldn’t say “I’m so sorry that you don’t get paid well”) I own my own house, I’ve travel the world, I’ve written screenplays, went to a fantastic university, I run a film festival, I have a great partner (too old to say boyfriend), wonderful friends and what I would think is a pretty full and enviable life.

    When I was in my 30s (42 now) I wanted kids, and my ex-husband turned out to be a man I didn’t want children with, so the boat has sailed, but I’m completely ok with it. I don’t think it is healthy for people to think back about “what might have been” and just enjoy their lives as they are.

    If I really want a kid someday I will go an adopt an older child and be a great mom, but for now, I’m going to focus on being a great woman.

  42. Penelope says:

    So happy to read such enlightened views about NOT having children. I thought I was doing the child and the world a favor by not having kids. I knew I couldn’t handle it so why inflict that on a kid? Instead, all I got were horrified people telling me I was selfish, would never know true love, and miss out on family. I already had missed out on family during my childhood. I didn’t want to pass on the abuse. People need to know there are other ways of having transcendent experience besides children. I thank god everyday I made the decision I did and I am now 64. Thirty years have passed and there are still the ghastly looks when I am asked if I have kids and I say no, as well as those looks of feeling so sorry for me because I love my dogs and cats and plants so much. Love is love. Life is so much deeper in the love dept. than a narrow view of children being the only way to experience it. I have a wonderful marriage and I needed to heal myself from very deep childhood traumas. I am comfortable now in my own skin. What an accomplishment! I could never have healed myself with kids. I would have hurt them.

  43. Kosmos says:

    I agree with her statement that women do NOT need to have children. Women should follow their hearts and instincts and, like everything else, do the things in life that suit them individually. Monica looks great in this dress, I have to say it looks well designed for her figure and I simply love it when people do not look overdone, either with jewelry or hair or extra embellishments. The dress is flowery, so it needs nothing extra or very little, and she pulls it off well.

  44. LMB says:

    I’m a childfree woman and whenever someone asks me if I have children, I’ll tell them: No, the cats are allergic.

  45. DSMR says:

    Awesome, not only is she well versed and intelligent, she is very beautiful. Wow!

  46. Mrs.Krabapple says:

    She and Shania Twain are my husband’s celebrity crushes! And I think both of them are aging naturally and beautifully.

  47. RobN says:

    To me, the open marriage thing is a choice two adults make. I don’t think it’s something that is appropriate once you have kids together. Every hour you spend with the other woman or man is time that you’re cheating your kids out of. Adult decisions are fine until they impact the ones that don’t have a say and then it’s time to man up and realize that somebody else comes first for a change.

  48. skuddles says:

    Love Monica’s comment, and I can say from personal experience, it’s 100% true. Many women don’t need to have children (or a husband/mate for that matter) to be happy.

  49. apsutter says:

    My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years and are planning to marry when I graduate next year. We’ve always known that kids weren’t for us. My mom was pretty bummed about it but my little brother just gave her a grandbaby last year so I think it doesn’t matter so much now. My dad has been totally cool with it. He’s always told us not to rush into marriage and admits that we’ll have a great life without children. My parents had their kids very young so they had empty nests in their 40′s and liked it that way. My dad always jokes that we’ll have a great life because we’ll have a lot of extra money for ourselves and we can go and do anything we want. I love my friends that have babies and they all know my choice and, luckily, none of them pressure me on the subject.

  50. Alana Fajina says:

    This woman is as close to perfect as perfection gets. And I agree, it’s not solely based on looks either. Probably something to do with that daily dose of Cassel!! {jelly!!}

  51. Camille (TheOriginal) says:

    Yay a Monica post! God her face is divine. She is so, so beautiful.

    The only negative thing I have to say, is that her hairline looks weird, like she is wearing a wig or something?

  52. Lisa says:

    omg who cares. Let those who want kids, have them, and those that don’t, have their say.

  53. I Choose Me says:

    I used to be ambivalent about having kids – once in a rare while, (usually while snuggling a nephew or playing with a baby of a friend) I’d get to thinking about the experience and wondering what it would be like. But now at thirty-six I’m pretty certain that I don’t want kids. Course I still get the question. But you’ve been married so long, how come you don’t have kids. Children are a joy. Oh but your kids would be so cute. But who’ll look after you in your old age. Blah, blah de frickin blah.

    I used to get defensive but now when asked how come you don’t have kids? I just say I choose not to. When the condescending/rude remarks begin I say, Let me live my life and you go live yours, while looking them straight in the eye. If that doesn’t end the discussion I walk away.

    Monica Belluci is simply beautiful. I love what she had to say on the subject and the comments have been great as well.

    • orion70 says:

      I think it’s great if people don’t mind answering those questions, but I still can’t believe people ask them. There could be deeply personal and very painful reasons as to why someone either doesn’t want children or don’t have them. It’s one thing to ask if someone has children, but to ask why is pushing it to me, unless you’re quite close with someone.

  54. Themuseisnotenchanted says:

    Oh, And don’t you love it when you already have one child and people are asking when you will have the second one, because it is so selfish to have an only child? Its like people are always dictating how you should live your life.

  55. lisa2 says:

    Gosh.. I guess I have some amazing friends, family and associates

    I have never in my 30+ years had anyone say poor thing to me or said anything about me not having kids or wanting them. My mother has 5 kids.. 4 boys and me. She has 9 grand kids. and my mother thinks it is Wonderful that I don’t have kids and has never in my life made me feel less of a woman for that decision. She says she thinks its great that I can live the life I want and nothing wrong with that. As I said in my first post. I love children, but didn’t think I was the person to raise them. LOVE them but not raise them.

  56. Ennie says:

    Just one small comment for those who do want children and are posponing it for some reason.
    I wanted at least one. I was not crazy obsessed about having a baby, and Since I am healthy and athletic, etc. I took it for granted that We could get pregnant in a reasonable amount of time… It turned out that for nsome inexplicable reason we could not easily get preggo, then I had my parent falling illl and dying (more waiting while we tended to them). Since there was not a definite reason we waited too long to use assistance, which has not worked out, and I am already in my forties, And getting used to the idea.
    If you are convinced you want one, or some, do not take too long to decide, sometimes there are issues that we do not know of.

  57. Andrea says:

    I’m an only child and not only do my parents not like children probably partially because of them, nor do I. I am 31 and I always get comments from coworkers “your life is not fulfilled until you have kids; you are missing out!” etc. I hate to say it, but oftentimes I find these same women complaining about money a lot and not having enough time to do things, whereas, me and my bf will be able to put a sizeable down payment on a house, go out to eat whenever we like, no debt, I go to yoga, take care of myself more, eat healthy etc because I have no one to think of but myself. most of these women I know loathe their husbands too and only used them basically as a sperm donor(I always get comments, I loathe having sex with my husband, i wish I didn’t have to at all!!). They wish they were single again. not all the women i know, but more than you would think. I also know a woman who had a kid on a whim(pressure from society and family) and is now cheating on her husband and neglecting the kid. It disgusts me that we as a society encourage women like her to procreate. my life feels full without a child and if anything, a child would hinder my lifestyle that i greatly enjoy, not to mention probably catapault me into debt.

  58. Hakura says:

    I’m 26, & have never (not even growing up thinking about my future) wanted children. It’s something I’ve always been certain of, not sure why, but it’s just something about me that’s always been.

    I definitely don’t discourage others or think negatively. But I’m just not a kid person. Every one of my good friends has children now, & it’s just not the life I want for myself. (Wanting to be more free to pursue other things).

    Because of the consistency of my own feelings on the subject, I truly believe it’s just something that is a personal aspect of everyone.

  59. Amy says:

    So beautiful. I can’t believe that Cassell could ever stray. Few women can top her in terms of beauty and sexiness.

  60. Elz says:

    Love this woman. Very classy and effortlessly beautiful.

  61. batman says:

    monica is very very niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee