Kim Kardashian split her awful green velvet dress for Midori: hilarious & awful?

I know, too many Kardashian posts! But these are new photos, and they’re funny. Kim and her mom hosted “The Midori Makeover Parlour” at Fred Segal in Santa Monica last night. Nevermind that Kim barely drinks – although Kim has recently said that she’s started having the odd cocktail here and there, especially after she turned 30. The funny part is that Kris Jenner wasn’t the co-host or anything. I’m pretty sure Midori is just paying for Kim’s Kat-face to represent the brand. But Kris had to show up to show off HER Kat-face. My favorite photos are the ones of Kris literally STANDING IN FRONT OF KIM. Like, she’s actively trying to soak up Kim’s publicity. Kris may be a pimp-momager, but the biggest problem with Kris is that she simply wants to be as famous as her daughters. She thinks she’s one of them. Kris would eat her young to be as famous as them.

As for Kim’s crushed velvet dress… it’s awful. I guess she wanted to wear green for Midori…? Is she that “clever”? Ugh. I used to love velvet so much – I had a whole winter wardrobe based on several great velvet pieces. But then I grew out of it. That was back in the 1990s. Will velvet make a comeback? Ugh, I hope not. Velvet ADDS weight on most women, because the fabric is so lush and thick, and it’s difficult to get really great tailoring with velvet. Plus, at some point, you just feel like Austin Powers, you know?

Also: Kim split her dress in the back. Hahaha. Maybe she tried to wear an actual size 4…?

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

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89 Responses to “Kim Kardashian split her awful green velvet dress for Midori: hilarious & awful?”

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  1. samanthalous says:

    She looks as though she has been gaining some weight.

    • Monster says:

      She looks heavy. It seems Kanye’s diet doesn’t work.

      • Kasey says:

        She does look softer and this material makes her look more voluptuous (not fat). What if Kanye’s “diet” was actually causing her to have more junk in her trunk. That seems like something he’d like.

      • ZigZagZoey says:

        She could fit an entire dump in that trunk….

      • Vesper says:

        I think she looks more voluptuous because the size of her implants have increased.

    • Momof2 says:

      Yep, you gain weigh when preggers. She knows she has ZERO chance of still being a “hot” talked about “celebrity” with just a Kanye relationship. Popping out kids is the next logical business decision. Mama J would agree and has probably already picked out the name……

    • hmmm says:

      Kris Jenner IS A CANCER. I actually feel for the dumb-bot Kim because Kris is using her to get her own Skeezy a$$ in the lime light. Are we better than this?
      WHEN WILL THIS END?

  2. Sirsnarksalot says:

    What’s with amply endowed people splitting their clothes lately? Velvet is a gorgeous fabric…for a chair. And Kim would be wise to remember that one thing velvet won’t do, is stretch.

    • Veruca says:

      Sir Snarks,

      Isn’t it ironic (sorry for the Alanis so early in the day) that this happened immediately after Sofia started getting attention for the sa-

      oh wait, this is Kim. Of course it’s a set up.

      Her mother really is a vile little thing, isn’t she?

      • Feebee says:

        My first thought when reading the headline was Sofia Vergara…. this chick is too obvious, it’s embarrassing. But not as embarrassing as her mother.

      • PinkG says:

        Yep, she had to copy Sofia Vergara. All she does is copy other people. She does not have one original thought in her pea sized brain.

      • lala says:

        Well Kims other dress had split a while back, I think while she was doing an interview. I think it’s more so the fact that she is oblivious to her continuous weight gain and is buying things that are too small.
        I won’t fully push out the idea that she is trying to ride on Sofia’s media coverage though, she is Kim afterall…

      • the original bellaluna says:

        Yup. First thought: What is it with green dresses lately? Second thought: Too bad it didn’t split in the ass. (Yes, I’m evil.)

      • hazeldazel says:

        she also split the side seam in that black dress she was wearing in Hawaii with Kanye while they were both getting ice cream. Either that, or it was very obvious where the seam had been let out so she could fit into it.

        as much as i don’t like her, she needs to realize that she isn’t as thin as she thinks she is, she’s a pretty woman just as she is (well, taming down the make-up would help). dressing appropriately for her ACTUAL size would make her look thinner. No one is gonna see the label, so stop looking like a sausage casing!

    • The Original Genevieve says:

      I agree with Kaiser’s first statement.

      “I know, too many Kardashian posts!”

      PLEASE…no more. ’nuff said. 🙁

    • chipmunk says:

      +1 This

  3. lower-case deb says:

    omg! get a bigger dress already, kim!
    first that leather dress on jimmy kimmel.
    now this velvet dress.

    THE ZIPPER GODS ARE TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!

    • Nina says:

      Exactly… haven’t we read this story before? She needs to start wearing clothes that actually fit her.

  4. Len says:

    After that skort-thing everything looks good to me. I am really still trying to recover from the sKort.

  5. Birdie says:

    4 Sisters…

    • erika says:

      god her mom truly is a fame whore…it’s so sad..

      i remember watching one show (this was the one that made me say ENOUGH! bitches!) bruce took the whole fam to tahiti as a surprise, humps too, and kris threw an actual SH*T FIT at bruce because he didn’t give her ample enough time to get some lipo and boobs redone…

      she bitched at her daughters the whole time and sat INSIDE wearing a caftan because she didn’t look like the ‘girls’ did in their bikinis…

      psychotic.

      and kimmy, one split in public is enough girl….jaysus

      • TG says:

        @erica – I am laughing so much at your post. I agree with you how vile and gross Mommy Dearest is but the funny thing is the Tahiti episodes involving Kris’s vain and selfish ways weren’t nearly as bad as other episodes to come. The ones where she announces Kimmy dear is her favorite daughter. The one recently when she didn’t go to Eugene to watch Bruce get honored at the Olympic trials and her spoiled Jenner girls didn’t either. The one where she demanded to know why Kimmy didn’t discuss with HER before deciding to freeze her eggs. Of course the wedding episode when Kim decides she is going to change her last name to the Humps and Kris cuts up big time. Why is it the mom’s business? I could go on an on but I am done with this family too. I realize when watching it Kris and Kim make me sick and angry and Rob is just a p*ssy. The only ones I can tolerate is Khloe and Bruce and Khourtney in small doses.

      • B says:

        Agreed. Her mom is vile. The worst person on the show. Mothers are supposed to act as mothers and not as one of the kids. With a disgusting famewhore as their parent and role model, I’m not surprised at the behavior of her children. Well, I am surprised that most of them didn’t turn out worse.

    • EmmaStoneWannabe says:

      hahaha this is EXACTLY like the SNL skit from a while back…the three sisters promoting something, and Kris rises up the screen, standing in front of them posing. Hilarious bc it is soooo true!

      • erika says:

        that ‘Surprise Tahiti’ episode pissed me off, offended me actually….

        if someone pissed on you for surprising them w/ an extravagant vacation, wouldnt you give them the finger goodbye?

        if your mom whined and cried about her looks when she’s plenty attractive, finger goodbye?

        if you GFriend kimmy cried like a baby because you played ‘too hard’ with her in the ocean and she lost her $75K earring (don’t wear $$$$ on vacation/ocean idiot!)

        so mcuh…..diahhrea of ungratefullness…offended me, personally, F***K YOU! you have so much abundance in life and you just can’t see it…

        i’m waiting for the public downfall, really…

  6. Linda says:

    I love velvet! Just not on her…its a much better fabric for thin and slender types. And classy too…which sucks for Kimmy.

  7. SleepyJane says:

    An overweight leprechaun whose time is up.

    • Koko says:

      Bwahaha, it’s so wrong I cracked up hard at this comment!Kim always wears clothes that are way too small. She is very curvy but insists on squeezing into tiny little dresses. She always looks stuffed.

  8. Chickie Baby says:

    Perhaps a larger size would be the way to go next time. You don’t have to tell the world what size it is—just LIE and say it’s a size 4, even if it’s an 8. Nobody will believe it anyway, but if you’re going to insist on wearing THIS much color, at least make sure it fits so you look great and not like an emerald-green pillow!

    If it fits and you look great, it won’t matter what the actual size shows on the tag!

  9. DeltaJuliet says:

    She looks like Poison Ivy…..

  10. lilred says:

    As my Dad would say you can’t fit 4 pounds of sausage in a 2 pound skin…

  11. Sumodo1 says:

    Ridiculous. Say that over and over when you see the Kat-Face. It makes them disappear!

  12. cmc says:

    Her makeup looks more subdued, too (for a kardashian). Looks better than usual.

    • EmmaStoneWannabe says:

      Agree. And I will say her hair here looks pretty awesome.

    • TG says:

      Really? Both she and Kris look like the Joker like someone has carved their face with a knife. It is weird because I think is or can be a pretty girl when more natural I don’t understand why she insists on looking cut up like her mom.

  13. Shitler says:

    That drink she’s holding looks like puke

  14. Aria says:

    Trashy both of them.

  15. Jayna says:

    I think Kim only has a couple more years of being the “it” girl and people are going to lose interest fast. Her looks are kind of going and the media’s obssession with her will fade because she’s been everywhere for too long. The Kardashian brand will probably still be strong productwise for years — and maybe even show-wise for a few more years, but that’s because it works as a collective bunch. I like the show because I like to watch the sibling issues and Scott Disick is a riot and see them rag on their mom. But Kim or any of them in their own show would fail. I didn’t even like Khloe in her own show because it got boring.

    Khloe will have the longevity. She is so likeable and relatable and funny and people warm to her. I am happy for her that she is getting the X Factor hosting gig.

    • Birdie says:

      I agree. Kim all by herself is so boring, just like Kourtney, Kris or the Jenner girls. I like Khloe the best (like almost everbody) and I truly hope she will be the X-factor host, because then she will have a career besides the reality tv BS and she would be seen for her talent.

    • yolo says:

      Did Khloe get her SOLO appearance cleared by Queen Kimmy?! Because I thought KIM was the only one allowed to try to branch out from the sisters..

  16. QQ says:

    Her makeup is downright barefaced By her standards… Love how on that firt pic is like she is putting a superhuman effort into smiling (or creating an expression) but her face aint having it

  17. Muffy says:

    Wasn’t it 70 degrees in Santa Monica yesterday? What, no uggs? She’ll freeze her fat arse off!

  18. TheOriginalKitten says:

    “Kris would eat her young to be as famous as them.”

    LOL! So true.

    I used to have a TON of velvet/velour/velveteen clothing.
    Ugh. Glad that trend is over.

  19. Esti says:

    It’s way too early in the year for velvet, but I actually kind of like the dress. It’s a nice shape for her body, and I think the fabric would look nice at an event in December or January.

    • j.eyre says:

      I agree with you. I think it is a good va-va-voom dress for her likewise figure. Of course, she should have gotten one that fit properly because that split is awful – carry a wrap to cover these “mishaps” for crying out loud.

  20. VanillaFrosting says:

    You’d think she’d get the hint since she’s always ripping open her clothes. I’ve always worn very tight clothes (today I am almost 20 weeks pregnant wearing a slim cut size 2 dress I wore before pregnancy) but I have never ever managed to split a dress. And I am not that slim. How on earth does she do it??

  21. MsMileHigh says:

    Ugh. I guess it’s a start? At least the shape of the dress is flattering. Now, if she would just waddle over to the Plus size section and get one that fits, she’d be OK.

    Yeah. I called her fat. In Hollywood terms, she is fat. In regular terms, she is SQUAT. In the media, she is photoshopped.

  22. NerdMomma says:

    I actually think Kim looks fantastic here, especially her face. She looks really pretty without all of that makeup.

    I haven’t paid much attention to the Kardashians since I don’t have cable and I don’t care about anything they do, but you know, having a reality star who doesn’t really drink is a rare thing. I’ve never heard of any of them hitting baby strollers or anything.

  23. dorothy says:

    Kris, “Look at me”, “see me!” , “I constantly need attention”.

  24. shewolf says:

    I love it. I also love how her makeup and hair look a lot more natural these days. I mean its still Kim Kardashian but she’s looking lovely.

  25. bar world land says:

    Her face. I can’t even.

  26. Cathy says:

    Ewwwwwww. That’s the first word that came to mind when I looked at that dress.

  27. hillbillyinthecorner says:

    Sorry , but I sure wish they would stop with the photo shopping….
    Yes ! Yes ! I hear you what shopping…? looked down at your cleaveage dears, thats right does any woman look that smooth and divided that even as large as her boobies are…
    No is not possible….
    And she is just embracing her genes the Armenian ones….the women do tend to spread out when they get near 30s and she is 30…they fill up a bus seat thats for sure…use to ride the city bues to school in high school with the little old ladies from the Eastside in Toledo…same place were Danny Thomas, Jamey Farr and several other Armenian kiddies came from lots of girls with mixed Armenian genes I know what they look like…Both Kourtney and Kim look just like those girls …beautiful girls, at least this white blonde Appaclachion daughter thought so…anyway at my 40 (oh God) class reunion we meet again…and those girls are just like the grandmas on the bus now, they do fill out the bus seats….LOL+

  28. logan says:

    In a word-awful. Reminds me of the Carol Burnett show skit where Carol is playing the part of Scarlett Ohara and makes a dress from green curtains, but leaves the rod in. Funny stuff.
    I think most of these “glamor” girls thinks just because it costs thousands it must look good. In this case it just looks “busted”.

  29. Photo Jojo says:

    All I can think about now is that Seinfeld episode where George talks about wanting to be “ensconced in velvet.”

  30. Jennika says:

    Did she do something else to her face? It looks awful, I think her looks are gone

  31. Sam x says:

    I vowed never to watch the Kardashians show, but gave in and watched the last few episodes. Kris Jenner is a monster, shes so in over head that she sees and treats her kids as her clients, with Kim being no.1 and has forgotten how to be their mother. I felt bad for Bruce when his family didn’t turn up to support him and Brandon sounded like he genuinely appreciated his dad and was genuinely proud of what he achieved in his olympic career. I think Brandon is my favourite person along with Khloe. I kinda of felt bad for Rob when he was sobbing, Kourtney was upset, Khloe was the only one who ran after him and Kim, her mother just sat their with cold, blank expressions. Beyond the cameras I think it’s a matter of time til this whole implodes and they sure have their issues as a family but hide them well.

    • spugzbunny says:

      I did the same thing, watched a couple of episodes the other week. I completely agree with everything you say about them! Kim also comes across as such a horrible, heartless person, the way she speaks to the rest of the family.

      I don’t understand why the Ks would sign off on something that makes them look so bad.

      Kourtney on the other hand comes across a lot better although in desperate need of a divorce!

  32. Sookie says:

    Bad: just bad all around.

  33. tru tru says:

    HORRID clowns!! in HORRID outifts, with HORRID faces.

  34. palermo says:

    This woman is mentally ill. There is absolutely nothing normal about posing and posturing all day long with clothes that wouldn’t fit you if you lost 20 lbs. Her eyes are dead and vacant. The Mom is even sicker if that is possible. They are the most self absorbed people on the planet. I think it isn’t about the money any more, they NEED the constant public exposure or they will wither and die.

  35. LolaB says:

    This reminds me of thinking I was Miss Thang in my black crushed velvet bodysuit and tapered stonewashed jeans in middle school.

  36. Stacia says:

    ***************************************
    ***************************************
    CAUTION: This dress only holds a maximum capacity of 200 lbs. If you think you may have exceeded the maximum load bearing amount for this dress, please find something else to shimmy your DONK into ..ie a MuuMuu.

  37. wonderwoman21 says:

    She is trying to copy Vergara. Is it ironic that Kim has such a tiny pin head? I’m sure she has a tiny brain to match

  38. juju says:

    OMG, that dress is so so so ugly !! she looks like she gain 10 pounds at least !!! she’s losing it, I cant believe she actually wore such any ugly dress !!! really what is going on with her !! Kanye must be playing jokes on her, yeah baby u look beautiful, but really laughing his ass off !!!!!!!

  39. some bitch says:

    Euw. Why does she always look like the years 1986-1993 threw up all over her?

  40. anon says:

    OH she is just trying to get the same attention as Sophie.. Notice K’s always seem to follow someone else’s path from a few days earlier trying to make it there own.. Just look back to each wardrobe or event & you can be sure they will follow suit. Origional they are not.

  41. Elena says:

    I want that drink! I need it!

    As for Kim- I would go with another color for curtains.

  42. SashaVice says:

    Her mom is trying to overshadow her in every picture. Lolol.

  43. ferris says:

    I feel so sorry for Kim due to she does not know who she is really is; she lacks self-worth. She is so desperate to find love, she will do anything to have it and keep it. She is changing her style and acting like someone she is not all for a man. If Kanye really loved her, he would not have wanted to change her. I hope she snaps out of it one day and realizes Kanye is not for her, It’s sad no one in her family meaning her mom,Kourt, Khlo or Rob has not tried to tell her that this is not right. Bruce tired but one respects or listens to him. It’s just sad. Kim is a lesson for everyone just because she is wealthy is material things does not mean she is wealthy in the things that means the most in life. I am wealthier than her due to I have in my life the things that means the most and I would not trade my life for hers.

    • babythastarsshinebrite says:

      I don’t like her at all but I agree with everything you said. I also feel sorry for her because she must be a lonely person even when she is surrounded by people all the time.

  44. Mar says:

    Feel bad for her? Millions of people in this country working 60hr work weeks and barely supporting their families, this biyatch gets her picture taken all day long and travels the world constantly because she makes piles of money off of her “fans”. I hardly feel bad for her!!

  45. lucy2 says:

    Even her dress is trying to get away from her.
    She looks like a broken Christmas ornament.

  46. Jay says:

    Velvet has been back people! You elderly folk need to hush up and stop trolling on these sites and reminding everyone about your horrible fashion choices when you were young!
    Get with it! Velvet has been back since last year, too bad us Americans are always late when it comes to fashion trends. I do most of my shipping via the internet on European sites and velvet has been back since 2011, I love it! There is something so romantic about it. You know most of us were too young in the early 90’s to remember velvet being “in style” the, so give us youngn’s and yourselves a break, let us have our time to experiment with the trends, and that goes for Kim too. Shes not young but she is definitely not as old as most of the people hating on her either lol. That color is gorgeous on Kim but a velvet dress in that cut just looks awkward. She should have went for just a velvet top with a skirt, or at least a not so tight fitting dress in that material. The velvet and color really soften her up, and make her look less harsh and robotic. Now she just has to work on the makeup and the hair, soften that up a little too, then Kanye would have succeeded in her ultimate makeover.
    Oh, and she really needs to accept the fact that she has gained weight and buy bigger sizes or lose weight so she can fit into this dress properly. But, otherwise, love the dress!

    • spugzbunny says:

      Ah haaaa.

      Well I’m in ‘Europe’ and it most certainly is not back! There were some bits in the shops end of last year but everyone bypassed it!

      Kim is also very old enough to have been wearing velvet the first time round.

  47. jilly says:

    She has been looking and dressing terribly ever since she started dating Kanye. It’s like he is loving and trying to destroy her at the same time. All the talk about sex tapes and calling her his “bitch”. Ugh. There’s some serious hate underneath that love. And her sense of her own worth is too impaired to realize it. She looks like a fat frog in this green dress. Ugh.

  48. dcypher1 says:

    Size 4 ha ya rite more like size 10 not that thers anything wrong with being a size 10 just dont lie about it when u know that fat ass cant even put a leg in. her mom is the worst she thinks shes kim age or sumthing

  49. Mew says:

    It’s not the first dress she breaks up. She’s far bigger size than she think she is… choosing clothes that are so small that they break when she wears them just shows how insecure she is of her “curves” and how much she wishes she was smaller.

  50. hairball says:

    She used to have such a beautiful face. How does she not see what she did to it?

  51. hairball says:

    I’d place a very high bet Jay that when you are paying the Walmart cashier you make sure to throw in that you normally ‘shop via the internet on European sites’.

  52. yellowshaba says:

    What in the fugging fug of all that is fug is that fug wearing…oh yeah, narcissistic delusional fug

  53. nikzilla37 says:

    She’s getting thicker. I hope it continues. Sick of seeing her in swimsuit.

  54. Carolyn says:

    The only way to get rid of this family is to stop watching their shows and buying the items that they put their name to.

    Kaiser please do a Kartrashian-free week.

  55. honey says:

    Haha!

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