Alex O’Loughlin named his newborn son Lion O’Loughlin because why not?

A few weeks ago, I noticed the reports that Hawaii Five-O star Alex O’Loughlin had welcomed a son with his latest girlfriend. My initial thought was “Huh, never heard of her.” About the girlfriend. I think Alex might be one of those undercover players, like he has the image of someone kind of clean-cut and vanilla, but secretly he has girlfriends in every area code, and he might knock them up with some regularity. Alex’s girlfriend (?) is Malia Jones, a “surfer and model” (eyeroll) and she already had a three-year-old son named Spike from a previous relationship. Alex too has a son from a previous relationship – a 15 year old named Saxon. Alex and Malia were first seen together a year ago, they announced her pregnancy in August and she gave birth in October.

So, a man who would name a son “Saxon” and a woman who would name her son “Spike”. I wonder what kind of name they would come up with for their son? Oh, you know. LION. They named their son Lion O’Loughlin. Little Lion. Little Li. If they have another baby, they’ll name him Tiger. If it’s a girl, it will be Cheetah. Is “Leopard” a unisex name? What about “Reindeer”? You know someone is going to be like, “Oh, my son’s name is Jack. Short for Jackalope.”

Twenty years from now, Lion O’Loughlin will end up marrying Maple “Syrup” Bateman. Mark my words. Dear celebrities: I know you want unusual baby names. Sometimes I can cosign, but are we really just going with random animals now? You know what I think the real problem might be? I think there’s a significant problem with celebrities naming their children what they should name their pets. Like, I could totally see naming a cat “Lion”. You could name a dog “Maple” and it would be super-cute too. Stop giving your children the names you should give your pets!

PS… The name “Lion” isn’t even in reference to the sign under which the baby was born. Lion is for Leos, August births. This kid was born in October under the sign of Libra.

I think this is that Malia chick.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

 

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76 Responses to “Alex O’Loughlin named his newborn son Lion O’Loughlin because why not?”

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  1. Sandy says:

    Hmm, my friend’s son’s Japanese name means Big Lion in English, but perhaps it’s a matter of culture. No one’s going to actually refer to him as Big Lion, lol. All these celebrity babies are going to suffer for their parents’ vanity as they grow up and it’s really sad. I guess they can always legally change their names when they hit the age of majority…

  2. Alexis says:

    Why? Melon, Picachu or Adolf weren’t available?

  3. feebee says:

    Isn’t the name of the lion in the Madagascar movies Alex. Coincidence?

  4. Bluedog says:

    I actually kind of like the name Lion. But then my son’s nickname is Spike, short for Michael.

  5. Ms Kay says:

    Well… Believe it or not but my little brother name is Lion. And it suits him very well. It may sound odd here because the guy is a public figure? Anyway to each their own…

  6. Mica says:

    Is it a trend for parents these days to embarass their kids with weirdass names?

    • Elizabeth says:

      Yes, it is a trend now. A very unfortunate trend.

    • Trek Girl says:

      A lot of these names aren’t as odd as they seem. If you go not too far back in history, just a few decades, really, you’ll see names that would fit right in with the the “weird ass” names that children are being given now.

      When it comes down to it, most people just don’t know much about names. Their ignorance leads them to believe that these names are unprecedented and will lead the child to be looked down upon, when in reality, the names won’t be much of a problem.
      If there is a problem it will probably be caused by the people that think these names are horrible and just can’t get past the fact that there won’t be another Brittney, Ashley, John, or James in the world – you know, like the people on Celebitchy.

  7. LadyL says:

    …short for Jackalope. I love it!

  8. Victoria says:

    I think Alicia Silverstone wins for worst name “Blu Bear”, Lion can be nicknamed “Lee”

  9. Izzy says:

    As I understand it Malia Jones is still legally married to her older son’s father. So, this ought to make the divorce proceedings interesting.

  10. Dree says:

    ‘You know someone is going to be like, “Oh, my son’s name is Jack. Short for Jackalope.”’

    Brilliant. How hard would it have been to name the kid Leo and call him Lion? Or Andrew, or Benjamin, or anything with a semblance of normality and start calling him Lion as his nickname from birth?

  11. handsome man saved me from the monsters says:

    I Believe in Germany people can sue their horrible thoughtless parents for giving them ridiculous names (like mine) they should do that in LA. It might make them think twice. Sure mum, treat me like an accessory with a ‘unique’ name, but in a few years it’ll cost ya! I also think people give their kids interesting names because that automatically makes them interesting people. No need to worry about time consuming things like character development. Yes I am passionate about this issue. Give yourself whatever stupid name you like, don’t inflict it on the child you pretend to love.

  12. GoodCapon says:

    Compared to other names of celebrity offsprings, I think Lion is fairly decent.

    Anyway, why does Alex always have that sad look in photos? Hawaii Five-O is a terrible show, but I only watch it because of him. I don’t mind if it’s on mute just as long as I see him…

  13. Hannah says:

    If they wanted a Lion, they could’ve just gone with Leo. Anyway, God bless, it’s none of our business.

  14. SusieQ2 says:

    Something about this guy makes my douche-radar ping…

    Poor kid.

  15. MrsBPitt says:

    so first the trend was to name a child after fruit…now after animals…whats next, body parts? This is my son, Arm Pitt!

  16. jinni says:

    I really don’t understand why people get upset about other’s giving their kids “weird” names. Have these people looked up the meaning of supposedly traditional names? Peter is Greek for “stone”, Michael means “who resembles/ is like God?”, Olivia means “olive tree”. Are people who name their kids these names considered trying hard to be unique by naming their kids a question, a tree, or after a rock/nature mineral?

    These traditional names are only considered traditional and “normal” because a bunch of people kept naming their kids these names and they eventually became commonplace.

    • LittleDeadGirl says:

      The problem is making your children be the groundbreaking ones to do it without their consent. We all remember middle school. It’s so much more fun with a weird as hell name. I have no problem with a kinda cool middle name but you should give your kid a relatively normal first name so they can choose based on their personality what they want to go with.

      • jinni says:

        I get what you mean, but bullies can find anything about a kid to pick on them about. Even kids with “normal” names can have a bully either rhyme their names with something insulting or get called a insulting, bastardized version of their names. Sometimes all they’d have to do is say the name in an insulting or taunting tone in order to bully them. So, really a generic name isn’t going to stop anything if a bully is determined.

      • LittleDeadGirl says:

        True, but you’re essentially making it impossible for them NOT to be bullied about their names ya know? I’m talking about normal kids. I have no idea what celebrity kids go through. Since all of them are getting named weird shit, if they all go to the same school, I’m sure Lion is probably the most normal name there. I just think you have to take into account more than just your preference when naming another human being …

        I just hope they thought it through and named him Lion for some reason other there “hey wouldn’t it be cool if he was named Lion … like omg”. It’s like a tattoo. It’s permenant. Think it through. I see your overall point though I just think you need to be careful with names.

      • Trek Girl says:

        @Little Dead Girl: The parent isn’t making it “impossible for the child not to get bullied” – that’s absurd.

        I think a lot of people are acting as if children aren’t capable of accepting “new” and unusual names, when in reality, a lot of children would think these names are cool or cute and not have a problem with it or give them a second thought. It’s the adults who have issues with the names and who would treat a child badly because of it.
        Let’s be real, Little Dead Girl, you might have bullied someone named Lion had they been in your class. You would have been the bully.

        @Jinni: You are absolutely correct. Most people have no idea about what names mean, nor do they consider how names come to be commonplace. They just think, “Hey, that’s not normal – that’s wrong”, when in reality this “normal name” was once uncommon and unusual itself. Also, names like Apple and Blu Bear are not at all unprecedented. Bear is a name for males, Blu is a name for males, and Apple is a name for females that was once common.

        Come on, people, learn about your surroundings and history. You’ll find that what is common now was probably uncommon before, and what is unusual now may have a long, traditional history.

      • handsome man saved me from the monsters says:

        @ trekgirl, hilarious. You obviously know NOTHING about school children.

      • Trek Girl says:

        @Little Dead Girl: the third “paragraph” of my last comment was needlessly harsh, so just ignore that if you want to. I obviously have no idea of you would have done that to someone.

        This comment might show up a few times — sorry for the repeats if there are any.

      • Trek Girl says:

        @Handsome Man Saved Me…: I know about as much as school children as anyone else and probably a bit more.

        I have an unusual name that most people have never heard; it hasn’t caused me problems. The only time I was ever teased about it, it came from someone who I was friendly with and he did it in a playful way. I had friends who had unusual names and they had little to no problems with teasing.

        Maybe the children I was around were just really nice and open mided compared to the children you and Little Dead Girl were around, that’s entirely possible, but I stick by my assertion that children can be far more accepting of odd names than adults, and that an odd name like Lion is not the death sentence, if you will, that so many of you are making it out to be.

  17. Miss G says:

    Actually here in Italy Leone (“lion” in italian) it’s a common name

  18. j.eyre says:

    With the uniqueness of names at an all time high, it has actually made more traditional names stand out. At one point, I proposed Jane for our daughter and people looked at me like I was nuts.

  19. valleymiss says:

    So the kid’s initials are LOL?

  20. Bodhi says:

    I actually like Saxon, Spike, and Lion as names.

  21. emmie_a says:

    I’m liking all these names… Lion, Saxon and Maple are all good.

  22. jc126 says:

    Yuck name. So is Saxon. Blech.

  23. Alexis B. says:

    For god sakes, she’s not even pretty! And to name your son Lion…… WOW, I used to be so damn attracted to Alex back with H50 and Moonlight and The Back-up Plan, he was just so hot to me, and I was okay with the fact he already had a 15 yr old son, that was okay… weird but alright, but then this hideous woman, Malia comes in and gets him; well that shit sucked. And when i heard they were expecting. Well damn, he said in an interview that when he had saxon he and Saxon’s mother weren’t married, and that he wanted to not mess that up again, basically he wanted to be married before having more children… well apparently not, Malia must roofied him…. fuck man.

    Well, now I barely like the dude now, damn the Aussie. Damn him.

  24. Roo says:

    I think Kaiser is right, undercover player all the way. He has a faint eau le douche wafting about him.

  25. Jenna says:

    *eyeroll*

    They couldn’t have gone with Leo? Or Leon? He should have fun growing up.

  26. Eleonor says:

    In Italy Leone (Lion in English) is a real ancient name, there was even a Pope in 1500 (Pope Leone X from De’ Medici family); to me it sound a bit strange, actually I think is a name right for a Pope.
    They should have gone with Leon, but after “Bear blu” Lion is not a big deal.

  27. Kim says:

    I like the name it flows with his surname

  28. Cody says:

    I have been teaching for 15 years and it is not just the Celebs naming there kids unusual names. This year I have a Spring, Autumn, Pear, Cinnamon and a Portland in my class. Cute now, but I don’t know what will happen later in life.

  29. Lemonade says:

    I kind of like Lion. He’ll probably end up with Leo as a nickname and all will be well.

  30. Yogi says:

    I wonder if he was a Thundercats fan?

  31. Journey says:

    oh yeah, so much better to be one of ten jennifers or jessicas in the class. seriously, what’s wrong with wanting something a tad different and unique for your child? do you really want them to be cookie-cutters? just like everybody else?

  32. Eric says:

    Typical Scientology crap, this kid will be best friends with pilot inspector and audio science.

  33. Malificent says:

    When I was pregnant, I actually ran names by my school-aged nephews and niece to check for any particularly humiliating nicknames….

  34. Eric says:

    In an interview he admitted to having ADD that he stopped treating, And that he has difficulty staying In relationships, this Malia chick won,t keep him either, she has gold digger written all over that face

  35. lucy2 says:

    Not the worst celebrity name ever, but I don’t care for it. I don’t mind a slightly unusual name, but at some point it just gets silly.

  36. Sora says:

    You do realize that Malia is Hawaiian right? Maybe the son’s name is pronounced “LEON.” Use some common sense people. It’s obvious that they want some Hawaiian ring to it.

  37. Memphis says:

    I have nothing against original names, but Lion?? Lion O’Loughlin? I’m sorry but that just sucks.

  38. Chumsley says:

    The first thing that popped into my head when I saw that name was that they must be big thundecats fans. If they have a daughter and end up naming her Cheetara, we’ll know for sure.

  39. Adrien says:

    That kid could date Nahla, Halle’s daughter.

  40. valleymiss says:

    I have a very uncommon 1st name…when I was growing up, I hated it. Every girl I knew was a Jennifer, a Michelle, a Christy, or a Melissa. I wanted a name like that soooo badly, just so I wouldn’t stand out. But now, since the trend is to have an unusual name, it’s not as bad for those kids.

  41. fabgrrl says:

    Anyone else thinking about that SNL sketch with Nicolas Cage? “It’s pronounced ‘Az-weepay’!”

  42. Rainydaygirl says:

    I ran the name by my 11-year old and she was horrified that someone would choose such an absurd name for their child. So, that’s coming from a child. To those above who have unusual names, I too have a weird name and it gave me nothing but grief growing up. I was always so embarrassed at all the teasing, and it caused me to become shy and withdrawn. Would never now do that to a child. This Malia chick will probably try and raise the child to fit the name without regard to his true personality. She’s not a wise woman. She’s a model? Really? Anyone could be a model if she is.