Lindsay Lohan’s lawyer believes he can “get her acquitted of all charges”

There are so many smaller, awful stories about Lindsay Lohan today. I guess I could parcel them out like crack gumdrops, but let’s all get through this together. First of all, as many of you fact-checked me earlier in the week, Max George totally denied that he’s dating Lindsay Lohan, regardless of her recent Instagram photo of the two of them. Max got on his Twitter and responded to his fans questions, tweeting “Nooooooo” and “I’m not” when asked.

Second story – you know how Lindsay’s micro-budget movie The Canyons looks like an awful disaster? Well, the film was rejected from the Sundance Film Festival months ago, and now it will probably be rejected from the South by Southwest Festival too! A festival insider told THR that the film suffers from major “quality issues” and “It’s got an ugliness and a deadness to it.” Shocking.

Next – there’s a ton of legal drama and behind-the-scenes drama with Lindsay’s lawyers. Lindsay’s new lawyer, Mark Heller, can’t practice law in California, so he has to have a “sponsor” and it got complicated so now two California lawyers – Lindsay Berger Sacks and Peter Toumbekis – will also be appearing with Lohan next week. As for the chance that the Cracken will ever, ever take a plea… not so much:

In what appears to be an all-or-nothing maneuver, Lindsay Lohan is rejecting a plea bargain that would put her in rehab but keep her out of jail and will go to trial, sources close to the situation tell exclusively.

In her seemingly never-ending litany of legal issues, Lindsay is facing criminal charges stemming from a car accident in Santa Monica, Calif. last summer. Lohan is accused of lying to police when she told them she was not driving at the time of the crash. The troubled actress is rejecting a deal that would put her in rehab for nine months and taking her chances in court.

Lindsay fired powerhouse attorney Shawn Holley and is now represented by Mark Heller, who once had his law license suspended for five years.

“Mark believes he can get Lindsay acquitted of all criminal charges stemming from her car accident in Santa Monica last summer,” a source told Radar. “Lindsay has convinced Mark that she never lied to cops when they asked her if she was driving the car that day.

“There was a plea bargain offer on the table for Lindsay to go to rehab for nine months, but she absolutely refused that. Mark won’t sign off on a deal that sends Lindsay to rehab for more than 60 days.”

And in a move that would certainly be dramatic – and possibly disastrous – Lindsay may testify in her own defense!

“There is talk of Lindsay taking the stand because she feels that once a jury hears her side of events she will be acquitted,” a source told exclusively.

Lilo owes former attorney, Holley more than $300,000 in legal fees, as Radar reported exclusively.

“Lindsay owes Shawn over $300,000 in legal fees and she hasn’t made any payments to her in over six months,” an insider previously told us. “Lindsay hadn’t paid anything for any of the work Shawn has done on her three new criminal charges of lying to cops in connection with her car accident in Santa Monica last summer. Shawn has kept Lindsay out of extended jail stays for over five years now “

Heller is based in New York City, and has obtained the necessary license to practice in California.

“Mark will be with Lindsay in court on January 30 at which point a date will be set for the trial,” a source said. “Lindsay’s probation violation hearing would be held at the conclusion of the criminal trial. “

Commissioner Jane Godfrey already has revoked her probation. Added the source: “Even if Lindsay is acquitted on the criminal charges, she can still be found in violation of the terms of her probation stemming from her necklace theft case.

“Lindsay has made it clear to Mark that she won’t be going back to jail, or to rehab under terms that she doesn’t agree to but it doesn’t appear that Lindsay comprehends the huge legal gamble she is taking by going to trial.”

[From Radar]

I seem to remember there was some speculation that Lindsay would testify in her own defense when she was on trial for the jewelry-heisting case, right? But she ended up not doing that, and I can’t see ANY lawyer thinking that it would be a good idea to let this cracktastrophe testify in open court. Even the biggest shyster in the world would be like, “Yeah… no habla.”

Photos courtesy of PCN, WENN.

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124 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan’s lawyer believes he can “get her acquitted of all charges””

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  1. Sam says:

    So let’s see – the assistant who she initially accused of being the driver told the cops she was driving…the truck driver she hit told the cops she got out of the driver’s side door when she hit him…the police located witnesses who said they saw her driving…

    Yeah. sounds like a conspiracy to me. At least Shawn was smart enough to know that acquittal wasn’t possible and that a plea deal was a better choice. Probably why she fired Shawn in the first place – because she can’t tolerate anyone who might actually not go along with her delusions.

    • Babette says:

      Sam, your last sentence is dead-on.

    • Lucy says:

      I genuinely want to to know is she really that stupid? I don’t mean book smart cause we know she isn’t but common sense, learned behaviour stupid because it appears that she really is lacking something of substance between the ears how the hell does she think she’ll be better off not taking the deal?

      • ViktoryGin says:

        One of the characteristics of borderline personality disorder is the inability to learn from experience. Stupid, who knows? But she’s definitely mentally defective in some way.

      • Sam says:

        Lucy, personally, I think she’s thinking she’s gonna get over. The rehab deal Shawn was allegedly working on would have put her in a secure facility (meaning, she couldn’t leave) for a few months. She’s probably betting that even if she’s convicted and goes to jail, due to overcrowding she’s betting she’ll serve less than a week or something like that.

        Now, personally, I’d rather spend a few months in a spa-like rehab than even a few hours in jail (and I’ve actually visited jails), but in her cracked-out mind, she probably sees rehab (where she won’t be able to act however she wants) as worse. This is LL’s brain on drugs.

      • Lucinda says:

        @Viktory Gin, boy I never thought about it but I bet you are spot on about Borderline Personality. I bet her mom has it too. The constant lying to the point where they believe their own stories, the world revolves around me point of view, the addictive behaviors such as drug abuse, shopping and shoplifting and the inability to change or take any kind of responsibility is all classic Borderline Personality. I can’t believe I didn’t see it before. She really doesn’t have a chance. She is just as mentally ill as Britney but it’s a much trickier one to nail down and treat.

      • mrs j says:

        Yes she is missing a brain or she spray to much orange spray paint on herself. Clogged her skin pours up or smoked too much crack

      • MW says:

        I think Heller has just told LL everything Shawn Holley was doing “wrong”, and made LL huge promises (for a fee) he knows he cannot keep. And LL was stupid enough to believe him. He probably thinks his (in)famous reputation preceeds him. (Anybody remember Bruce Cutler attempting that in the Phil Spectre Trial?). Anyway, he will fail, and THEN indignantly make accusations that he was “home-towned” by the Judge!! He doesn’t really care, he will go home, with his fee, and Lindsay will be doing some jail time.

  2. Merritt says:

    Heller had his law license suspended once? Wow. Nice choice there.

    • Babette says:

      Yes! Sounds like she’s picked a lawyer who has as much “credibility” as she has…both disgraced. Great choice for sure.

    • Lady D says:

      Wasn’t he the guy repping Jon Gosselin at one point? I seem to remember pics of Heller, Gosselin (in his Ed Hardy wear) and Lohan Sr. partying on a boat.

    • Polk8dot says:

      Heller got his law license in 1969. In 1992 he was accused of ‘Professional Misconduct’ and investigated. The violations occurred between 1989 and 1992 and involved 12 separate clients.
      Heller was ultimately found guilty of 18 violations, and was suspended for 5 years, from 1994 to 1999.
      He is licensed to practice in NY state ONLY!!! He will always need a ‘sponsor’, a co-counsel to satisfy CA law. How convenient – someone else to blame for the fiasco this will definitely turn into. CAN’T F-ING WAIT!!! ;)
      The funniest part – Heller practices Divorce and Family Law!!! So dealing with custody issues, parental visitations, adoptions, etc.
      How on earth is he going to ‘represent her’ in a Criminal court, on a Criminal case???
      She’s lost her marbles completely now…

  3. pinkheart says:

    yes lindsay can get acquitted again and i believe in flying elephants

  4. ZigZagZoey says:

    OMG! Bwahahahahahahaha!
    This will be epic.
    If only she wanted to represent herself…That would be even better!

    • X says:

      Your know I have been reading every Lindsay Post on this cite for several years. In the beginning, the vast majority of comments sounded too harsh, sounded like the people writing them wanted to watch someone else fail, and most of the comments were bereft of hope. In other words, I was secretly rooting for Lindsay’s recovery. Over the last few years or so, I realize she is not really the ‘under dog’ I have made her out to be. She’s self-absorbed, self-centered, and an asshole. From the time she left hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of diamonds in a cab without so much as thanking the cab driver for returning them, to the multitude of other actresses and directors she’s pissed off because of her unprofessional ‘the world is me’ attitude. Generally, I don’t like people summing an individual’s worth based on social conformity or preconceived notions of morality, and so I wanted her to beat the odds. What didn’t realize is that her narcissism and over-evaluation of self-worth is comparable to any A-list actor who has been told he or she shits gold from birth. She doesn’t perceive herself as an underdog, she perceives herself as someone who is entitled, which brings me to this new lawyer. Lindsay has hired someone equally narcissistic and self-interested. This lawyer sounds like the kind of lawyer that wants to put on a show for the cameras for the notoriety and the expanded client list, not the kind of lawyer that wants the best for his client. Shawn made her reputation not by representing Lindsay but being good at what she does. I don’t think the same can be said for this guy. Honestly, she deserves him, and this may very well be her reality check. Self absorbed bitches deserve self absorbed bitches.

      • ViktoryGin says:


        For a short while a few years ago, I really wanted to give her a long rope due to her disastrous upbringing. I’m at the point, however, where I just don’t think that the girl possesses the adequate fortitude nor the self-awareness to push pass her issues. Nor do I think she has the ability to develop them.

        It’s a testament to lack of faith to say so, but I just don’t think that she has it in her.

        Drew Barrymore was able to get her shit together before she even hit her twenties. So, this isn’t merely a question of age. LL is just not spiritually or psychologically advanced enough.

  5. skuddles says:

    I think this Heller guy is just shystering her for PR, and Lilo is dumb enough to believe he’s capable of keeping her out of jail or rehab.

  6. Nanz01 says:

    No snark intended when I say she looks REALLY AWFUL in these pics. Although, I’m not sad for her because she is such an a-hole. But the reality of her life from childhood to now is so sad. Like, who says they want to be a high class call girl instead of a respected actress when they grow up? I’m sure this is not the way she intended her life to play out and yet, she is the sole person responsible for it now that she’s no longer a child. It’s also so hard to imagine having a mother who is totally on board with her daughter being a hired “entertainer.” I mean, if your mom doesn’t have your back, who will? They’ve certainly made their beds…

    Edit: I realize I’m just sort of rambling off-topic. But I can’t even give the legal stuff attention anymore. It makes me ragey.

  7. brin says:

    She must have shared her crack with him.

  8. truthSF says:

    Whoa, looks like Shawn really dodged the cracken bullet with this mess. Don’t look back Shawn, or you’ll turn into a pillar of crack.

  9. Ava says:

    That’s what she gets for treating everyone like crap when she filmed machete in Austin . It’s a small community and she treated everyone that she worked with horribly . The stories of her shenanigans and diva behaviour are well known

    • Jackson says:

      Ooooh, I must have missed them. All true I am sure though.

      • Ava says:

        Let’s see .. She was mainly hired for Machete because of her big boobs and the bikini scene . She couldn’t cut her own tampon string or be bothered to push it inside of her when she was wearing the bikini and ordered someone on the set to do it .. After it was already in her.
        She disapeared from set and called in sick then it comes to light that she had taken off and flown to a music fest and had been papped.
        She made them move her four different hotels since none of them were good enough for her . She’d stay at one hotel , then trash it and demand to be moved to someplace better . She was distasfied with the Four Seasons but finally agreed to stay there .
        Basically she got herself fired within the first week and most of the scenes were filmed without her or using pieced together footage since she couldn’t show up to work , they cut a majority of her scenes and banned her from attending the premiers.
        On top of it she was rude , demanding and caused drama the entire time . It’s like she felt that if she caused enough star drama and diva demands that somehow she would actually become a star .

      • Bess says:

        I wish the information about Blohan getting fired was leaked to the media at the time.

        By the time Machete actually premiered in 2010, Blohan had just been released from UCLA’s rehab/psyche ward. Shawn Holley said that LL chose not to go b/c she didn’t want to distract from the film.

    • TX Lane says:

      So glad that my little hometown of Austin is spared the crack shenanigans of Blohan this time around. I had a friend who saw her downtown….not looking so well. On a side note, my friend saw Johnny Depp de-scarved/de-jeweled and de-hipster hatted at the start of the film part of SXSW *reminiscing about the Deppster pre-midlife crisis*

    • Relli says:

      OMG I hope that person on set/ tampon setter was richly rewarded because that is horrific. Like that might be the best/worst Lohan story ever!

    • Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

      Sweet merciful sootikins, what in blazes was that first paragraph?!?

  10. ladybert62 says:

    This should be interesting!

  11. janie says:

    I can’t wrap my mind around the fact that she believes she’s in control of the sentence? She refuses to do this & that… Refuses to sign off on a plea, unless she agrees to it? Are we in the Twilight Zone or what? Could she insult the justice System anymore? I’m stunned..

  12. Sisi says:

    She thinks she demand the outcome of the case on her own terms? Lawl!

  13. Sassy says:

    why wouldn’t they deal with the probation violation BEFORE the conclusion of the new trial if they’ve already said her probation has been revoked -shouldn’t a bench warrant have been issued? the legal system makes no sense???

  14. Laurabb says:

    Well I can see why she said no to rehab, if she she takes her chances in cort and gets sentenced to jail time she will be out in just a few days (or so it seems from the past) vs. 9 months. I truly wish she took the deal, she need major help.

  15. fabgrrl says:

    Is her new lawyer one of those shiny faced, slick haired, too-many-teeth-having, smiling, guys who advertises in the back of a phone book?

  16. Bess says:

    I will not believe that Shawn Holley is officially off the case until I see the the Cracken’s new, powerhouse legal team walk into court with her.

    Also, I think the Cracken is hedging her bets to see if she can get a better plea deal. Maybe she thinks she can get 90 days in a non-lockdown rehab / country club.

    Anyway, it would be hilarious to watch Blohan try to duck, dodge and dance around an experienced prosecutor. He or she will eat Blohan up for breakfast.

  17. The Original Mia says:

    Clueless attorney for a clueless client. Perfect match.

  18. Jackson says:

    My guess is that she’ll probably end up taking a plea deal for 60 days of rehab. The state just wants to be done with her and can’t afford a trial for her nonsense so they will cave and agree to 60 days of rehab.

  19. Poink says:

    “Lindsay has made it clear to Mark that she won’t be going back to jail…”
    Huh? Is she suddenly the judge? She gets to call the shots here? I want whatever she’s on – must be nice to have those delusions of grandcrackdeur.

  20. Theresa says:

    Not guilty, huh? So it’s her word of “I was not driving” against all those witnesses and testimony reportedly compiled by the police saying she was.

    Hmmmm… I know in her delusional brain she thinks her word carries weight. If I say so, then you have to believe me.

    Explains why almost everything out of her mouth to date has been found to be a lie.

    She has shown herself to be a pathological liar, almost unable to tell the truth, even if she wanted to. It’s the first impulse, the first instinct, to lie. And only if they are absolutely squeezed into the tiniest of corners will they even dare to breathe a hint of truth, but usually qualified with a “but but but”.

    I only can hope that regardless of how many lawyers she has representing her, the judge (or jury) will see the truth.

    It is the indignity of the liar going unpunished that is so marked here. She has lied so often, so long that it really is hard to summon any feelings of understanding and compassion for this girl. And also explains her loooong descent rather than rapid. Lying can get you further than you think before it all catches up to you. But catch up eventually it does.

  21. Sarah says:

    I think a jury trial could be the way Lindsay finally sees the sentence she’s deserved for so long.
    Regular people who have to observe the law or pay the consequences will not go so lightly on this crack addled, entitled narcissist.
    Juries are working hard for pennies on the dollars she makes and snorts, and pay fines for speeding or parking illegally while Lindsay continues to play the legal system with her bad acting.
    Take it to a jury! Let her play roulette, eventually she’s going to lose.

    • emmie_a says:

      The problem I see with a trial is the jury could possibly be starstruck (ha! I know but it could happen) and Lindsay IS an actress so she could possibly be very good on the witness stand. And her lawyer doesn’t have to prove that she wasn’t driving that day he just has to prove reasonable doubt that she was driving which might be easy. I don’t know – personally I want her to rot in jail but she might just get away with another one.

      • Nina W says:

        Having served on a jury, I have to say, if this goes to jury, Lindsay will lose. Juries decide if laws have been broken, they don’t have as much flexibility in deciding as it seems on tv. Whether or not she actually serves out a sentence of some sort is another issue but if this goes before a jury, she will lose.

      • Bread and Circuses says:

        Her acting hasn’t been very convincing lately.

        The brain is part of the body. If a person has partied hard enough to damage their looks, they’ve probably damaged their brain too.

        What she once had, talent-wise, may have been permanently eroded.

    • Polk8dot says:

      You know guys, I think I finally figured out her end game here, and it is NOT about the severity of the sentence.

      She WANTS to go to trial. She WANTS to be on the stand, decrying the injustices of everybody always being against her. She WANTS to be giving interviews left and right to not only CourtTV, but all news outlets and entertainment media.
      She WANTS THIS because this will finally be her GREAT COMEBACK!


      This will be her triumphant return to the world of entertainment, with daily reports, updates, interviews, the whole media circus (you know they will not be able to resist). She will finally be the GRANDEST STAR in the courtroom. There will be nobody else to eclipse her. And she will put on a SHOW the likes of which the CA justice system has never seen before, and never will again.
      Maybe they will even name it after her – ‘The Lohan Effect’ or ‘The Pinnocci-ho Defense’. She will finally achieve greatness and the rightful place in the firmament of eternal stars.
      The histrionics will be epic! The crying, the side-eyeing the jury, the throwing under the bus of anybody who seems convenient. The bra-less boob jangling, the potential wardrobe malfunctions if necessary, the arguing with the judge, the fainting, etc. The ‘playing a lawyer’ by being her own co-counsel (allowed by law), going after the witnesses, building lies on the fly and spinning them into webs fantastic! The daily TV commentaries with diagrams, graphics and telestrators to untangle these webs. An ORGY for all the TV legal eagles. Finally, her whole life bulding up to that one moment – the TOTAL VICTIMHOOD of POOR LITTLE LINDSAY!

      I just hope she knows they don’t give Oscars for that.

      (Upppphffhhhfhh, that was exhausting. I feel like Bugs Bunny on LSD – my eyes are still spinning from all the eye-rolling).
      Yeayyyy!!! Lets watch us some CrackenCourtTV :)

  22. elceibeno08 says:

    Has Lindsey ever been actually in jail for longer than a day? If convicted on January 30th,she is in for a very rude awakening. The law is much too slow. Lindsey needs a very hard slap on the wrist. Perhaps then, she will think about how she has wasted her life in the past 6 years.

  23. Sue Z Chapstix says:

    I kept rooting for this hot mess to get her act together, but it does’t look like that is ever going to happen. So now I am just wondering long it will be until she’s found dead.

  24. badrockandroll says:

    You know I just googled Mark Heller, and I think that he’s a match in delusional heaven for La Lohan. Since his reinstatement after his suspension, his behaviour is a lot like hers: press manipulation, “forgetting” when clients gave him jewels as a retainer, a lot of disciplinary hearings …

    He needed sponsorship to represent Gosselin in Pennsylvania, and the lawyer who did that regrets it as it led to a sideshow that gosselin ultimately lost.

    His only real fans appear to be Lohan and Son of Sam (who he also unsuccessfully represented for a time).

    • badrockandroll says:

      You know I just googled Mark Heller, and I think that he’s a match in delusional heaven for La Lohan. Since his reinstatement after his suspension, his behaviour is a lot like hers: press manipulation, “forgetting” when clients gave him jewels as a retainer, a lot of disciplinary hearings …

      He needed sponsorship to represent Gosselin in Pennsylvania, and the lawyer who did that regrets it as it led to a sideshow that gosselin ultimately lost.

      Lindsay Berger Sacks, who is sponsoring him to appear in California hasn’t ever practiced law, resigned from the California bar in 1994, and only applied for reinstatement last tuesday, presumably for this purpose. She has never met Heller, only Toumbekis, who worked with Heller on the Gosselin case – they seem to go way back in some shady cases, but I don’t see how he’s licenced for California.

      Heller’s only real fans appear to be Lohan and Son of Sam (who he also represented for a month until the rest of the legal team fired him).

      Good decision there Linds!

      • D'Oh! says:

        This is going to be very entertaining. Money, or lack thereof, is probably why Lohan hired this Heller mess. Two pathological users & losers using each other.

      • ParisPucker says:

        thanks for that! yea, karma is a b*tch…hopefully it’s 2 birds being killed with one stone in these two finding each other. Circus show cont’d..

        Honestly, her story makes me sad. She’s had the world handed to her on a silver platter many times over, and she’s spoiled so many chances. There is some *deep* self loathing going on there for that to happen. In that respect, my heart goes out to her, because clearly, her parents never made her feel safe or like she was deserving of being loved unconditionally…Drew Barrymore did not have it easy as a kid, but she had the sense and fighting spirit to eventually get her sh*t together.

        Linds, don’t become a Hollywood cliche over and over again by pissing your life away. You still have time to turn it around, but you’re running out of it. Go into intense therapy on a compound in Africa if you have to. Shut out the world and heal. Your grace period for this way of being is at its very end…

  25. TheEntrepreneursWife says:

    It would be AMAZING if she took the stand in her own defense. It’s been awhile since I brushed up on my rules of evidence and I don’t know CA’s laws, but if she lies on the stand does that open the door to question her about her character? And does that open the door to asking her questions about her (alleged *cough*) hooking?

  26. erika says:

    hey now, one minute…

    If CRoach wasn’t driving the car then I ask you…

    “WHO was driving then?”

    If not the HoLo it must have been Gavin, her once beloved, swallow it all, ex assistant (note: just how the Hell do you sign up to ‘work’ for this vodka guzzling gargoyle???

    Nice. Super Nice. Throw your ‘friend’/'assistant’ out the window of a porsche destined for deadly destiny (Jesus take the wheel!)

    and i LOVE, LOVE, LURRRVE the thought that she wants to speak infront of a jury!!HA! omg, oh my GURD! will this be televised? videotaped.

    we gotta get tickets to the coke show!!!

  27. FassDaActor says:

    But can he believe she’s going to pay him?

  28. Nicolette says:

    If any of us had done half of the things the Cracken has done, we would be locked up. Not her, she’s like teflon. The best thing for her would be to get locked up and away from the crack pipe.

  29. Sumodo1 says:

    Wait a minute–Britney has a conservator because she has issues. The Cracken does not. How is it that Lilo can’t be judged non compos mentis, issued a conservator, and become somewhat employable?

    • Cecada says:

      Who would the conservatorship be issued to? Both LL’s parents are as f*cked up, irresponsible, and stupid as she is, if not more so.

      The whole Lohan family is ‘Planters’: nothing but mixed nuts.

    • Polk8dot says:

      ‘NON COMPOS MENTIS’ persons:
      These words signify not of sound mind, memory, or understanding. This is a generic term, and includes all the species of madness, whether it arise from, 1-idiocy; 2-sickness; 3-lunacy or 4-drunkenness. (Legal Dict.)

      There is legally no grounds to declaring Blohan an NCM. She’s never been diagnosed with mental disease of defect; she is not suicidal or homicidal; although her actions present a danger to others around her, that does not trump her personal freedoms. She is, unfortunately, just evil, delusional and stupid. She for sure has a Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but that is not significant enough to take her legal rights away (otherwise 1/2 of our politicians and 3/4 of Hollywood would be deemed NCM). You can’t declare someone crazy just because they are a prize asshole, no matter how much you may be trying to help.
      And finally – to have a ‘conservator’ isn’t it technically a requirement that there needs to be something to ‘conserve’? We know that Cracken’s estate is a total bust, not only empty of any assetts, but actually deeply in debt to persons, institutions, and the government.
      And finally – even if anybody ever suggested instituting conservatorship over her, she would NEVER EVER allow this to transpire.
      ‘Move that conservator, I’m Lindsay Lohan!’

  30. Skins says:

    She probably thinks that she can sway the jury with her Oscar-caliber acting skills when she takes the stand (please, please, please!) Of course once the jury hears her crackvoiced lies they will probably convict in about 20 seconds. Please let this trial be on tv

  31. Lady D says:

    I guess it’s too much to hope for that she gets nailed for perjury charges right? She’ll skate on that like everything else.

  32. JL says:

    Grab a Cracktini and just go with the flow people. ALL is possible in Crackland, the bind see, the deaf hear and the crack-monsters walk (out of court).
    Oh I’m so going to enjoy this next Lilo court date. It appears she’s finally gotten a lawyer as delusional as she is.
    So is Lilo ‘paying’ a princes’ sum for services, because we all know she’s broke.

  33. Dee Cee says:

    Stop the bullying preventing her from developing her passion, show her artistic craft and talents.. such as pose for some odd-perv.. douse herself in Paint and Grind topless on canvas, pretend to be many fabulous dead stars.. Rehab would prevent her hardcore self-medicating, mood altering suffering preparations that bring out that brave vibe to recreate.. uniquely turn her into a willing, abusive slut and timeless, historic victim.. erm, actor ready to perform any crappy role to make a crappy living.. She can’t live in the now.. in her world she’s on cue, knows her lines and in the spotlight all the time..

  34. KellyinSeattle says:

    The lawyer will not be able to get her out of being a moral failure.

  35. Lem says:

    I feel as though this is so similar to Beyonce (stay with me) Bey believes, rightfully so, that she is above it all. She can ‘cheat’, lie about it, and we’ll believe her. She’s righ. The military (ffs) backed her lie. A hospital backed her tomfoolery. Clearly ‘bumps don’t fold’. We are confused. She can sing. She gave birth. She sang live.
    LL believes, rightfully so, she can lie to the court, lie about why, refuse to cooperate, refuse pleas thereby guilt. The courts will accept it. Thing is- she’s right. Why are earth would she plea to do jailtime/rehab when clearly she doesn’t face any consequences. LL believes, rightfully so, she’s above the system. C’mon. She is. She has been. I don’t think I’d plea (assuming I was a cracked out monchichi) Why would she? It serves no purpose as she takes no responsibility and no consequences. I mean, damn, if you are always getting away with doing whatever you want, especially in the face of the law, why would you change your strategy. HONESTLY, she has no reason to.
    Also, I’m 6′ tall, hella leggy and 115lb.. since you can’t prove otherwise..your photo evidence is denied, your argument is invalid. Lem is taking ce-liberties to become the sexiest celebitcher. Booyah. The cracktini is kicking in!

  36. Cecada says:

    Can Shawn Holley sue Lindsay for her legal fees now that Lindsay is no longer her client?

    And I’m curious to know the maximum number of consecutive days Lindsay has actually spent in jail itself… Because… she talks about fearing jail as if she understands what hard time is, and yet she stupidly refuses a plea that would keep her out of it.

  37. bondbabe says:

    If the case goes to trial, and to a jury of her “peers,” AND, when voir dire is conducted, exactly who will have NOT heard of her conduct? And would not have already formed an opinion of her?

    Maybe that is what she/her attorney are counting on—persons 60+ on the jury, feeling sorry for her as she testifies, with many tears, about how tough her life was/is and that is why she got involved in drugs, stealing, lying, etc., and boo-hoo, she just isn’t to blame….

    THAT is what I’m envisioning and scared is going to happen.

  38. Mich says:

    From a NYTimes article in 2010:

    “Even within the colorful, eccentric, sometimes disreputable and profane galaxy that is the New York City bar, Mr. Heller stands out for the severe thrashings he has endured and his audacious aspirations for high-profile work. He has been disparaged and roundly dressed down by clients and judges alike, called a “menace to the public,” “shockingly cavalier and abusive” and rife with “puffery” by a disciplinary panel that recommended his five-year suspension in the mid-1990s. Opposing counsel has been known to quietly suggest that his clients consider finding a new lawyer. Among his most outspoken fans is a serial killer.”

    Sounds like a match made in heaven!!

  39. grabbyhands says:

    I’m still not convinced this trash won’t walk away untouched again. I say the worst she gets is a short stint in “rehab”.

  40. lulu1 says:

    Is it possible that this will fall through because of something such as the police making a mistake? I was so surprised they didn’t breathalize her, if I remember correctly..yet most people here in Europe are breathalized if they are involved in an accident. Also, wasn’t there suspicious stuff lying around (flung) from the car? Now the police knew who she was if they have ever read a newspaper, and surely would have known she was on probation, so why wasn’t she checked? Didn’t she go to hospital after this one (they blur in my mind) and again wouldn’t she be tested for drugs and alcohol if so?
    It just seems that there may have been some incompetence on the police’s part…and I hope it won’t be enough for her to not have to answer any questions.

    • phantasmagorical badonkadonk says:

      Her formerly faithful, trusty assistant Gavin gathered the stuff flung out of her car and stuffed it into her mysterious “pink bag” that no one ever found. Yes, she did go to the hospital, but by personal vehicle (that big black SUV that was tailing them), so they couldn’t test her at the scene or at the hospital.

    • Nina W says:

      Her intoxicated state doesn’t matter in this case. This is about violating her probation and lying to the police about who was driving. You can refuse to be breathalyzed.

  41. A~ says:

    it’s been said before, but golly, her lips are freakish.

  42. LAK says:

    “”"LL has made it clear that she won’t be going to jail under terms she hasn’t agreed to….”" what does she think this is, a work contract negotiation?

  43. twoblues says:

    If I read these comments about myself, there is no way in Hell I could continue this behavior. I’d be crushed to the ground knowing I had willingly flushed my career down the toilet. I’d go into hiding in some third world country never to be heard from again. But not her, oh no. She’s out partying, shopping, ho-ing and smiling for the cameras. She must be an alien because the average human being could never hold up to this level of hatred. GET SOME HELP WOMAN.

    • Bread and Circuses says:

      She has said she doesn’t read what people say about her–which is smart. It’s not healthy to care too much what other people think of you. Everyone needs to have self-confidence that comes from within.

      The problem is that she’s not allowing any feedback to impinge upon her delusions of greatness. She really is on a dangerous path, but she won’t let anything convince her of that fact.

  44. jwoolman says:

    I would love to hear her explanation of why she crawled out of the passenger seat right after her assistant, even though the driver’s side was less damaged… Besides, she is on record claiming she wasn’t driving much much later, in an interview (months later?). Incompetent client and incompetent lawyer, truly a match made in heaven.

    Grab your popcorn, people, this promises to be quite a show: Lohan Unleashed. All I can say to the Prosecutor is: May the Force be with you…

  45. WendyNerd says:

    From now on, I am going to believe everything she says is inaccurate. I will not believe a word that comes out of Lindsay Lohan’s (IF THAT IS HER REAL NAME!) mouth. I think that’s best for everyone. Especially any sentence that begins with the word “I think…”

  46. erika says:

    it’s an advantage to remember the LiLo/Sam years. She can put the moves on her new inmates…really i imagine it’s the only place that she can heal and growsc

    what if she doesn’t win? OMGurd!OH MY GURD!!! i won’t be able …I can’t.

    so, so, terribly disILLUSIONAL. Nothing, NOTHING no treatment, job, punishment,n lock up, no getting kicked out of the country, o penniless state will EVER cure of rid this girl of her own illusion. Sad. sooo,sad.

    we can sit here and hash is out over and over what her problem is, it’s just a waste of time. Nothing but a lockdown a private one, no parents, fame, noting will rid her…


  47. DI says:

    well, THAT’LL teach her……..

  48. DanaG says:

    I hope this all backfired and LL get’s some real jail time not just a day or a week but a year at least then she would really regret not taking the rehab deal. If Shawn realised she wasn’t getting Lindsay off this time and the 9 months rehab sounded better then the alternative LL is in serious trouble finally! This guy actually believes her? He must be really dumb or really want the publicity cause he won’t be getting paid. LL could be rolling the dice and as someone else said she figures she would get less time then the 9 months in rehab, but you only get so many chances and LL really has blown all hers. Hope the judge throws the book at her!

  49. leslie says:

    I live in So. CA & have a hard time believing that a jury will not punish this broad. The first poster on the thread got it right. Lohan is delusional.

  50. dcypher1 says:

    I cant wait to see her go to jail finally. Without shawn shes screwed. Shawn is what keept her out of jail. She was lilos get out of jail free card. She will lose with these no name lawyers.

  51. Thea says:

    If any of the jurors have seen Liz and Dick, then she is going to end up on death row.

  52. Trashaddict says:

    Maybe the strategy is to get such a bad lawyer that she can get the whole thing thrown out later on the basis of legal malpractice???? It would be really funny if Shawn Holley had actually put her up to this.

  53. la chica says:

    I can see Michael Lohan all over this shady lawyer deal. Lilo claims she hates him but he is always her default option in desperate times…

  54. CocoBelly says:

    Crack gumdrops?!? Lol. You made me think of the Candyland gameboard.

  55. dcypher1 says:

    The jig is up sticky fingers blohan.

  56. C Money says:

    Throw the book at this raggedy ho! SEND LOHAN TO JAIL.

  57. LittleDeadGirl says:

    To be fair to her why wouldn’t she think she can get off without any problem. I mean has she ever been held responsible for anything? Nope. At this point she could have a monkey in a suit beside her and she’d get off scot free …