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Vanity Fair is exhausting. And not in the good way. I remember a time – not that long ago – when the Vanity Fair Hollywood Issue was one of the best parts of the awards season. VF would spend serious time on the Hollywood Portfolio, profiling not just the hot new talents of the year, but some of the grizzled Hollywood veterans, the character actors, the actors the critics adored, the surprises of the year. But the last five or six years, Vanity Fair has been trying to “fix” what wasn’t broken, and this year’s Hollywood Issue is terrible. I guess VF got tired of always being criticized for putting young white women on the cover so they made this cover… all white. But instead of a cover jammed with young talent, it’s just Ben Affleck, Bradley Cooper and a washed-out looking Emma Stone in bed together. WORSE MENAGE EVER.
It’s one for the history books—more than 75 different stars were photographed for Vanity Fair’s 19th Hollywood Portfolio, shot by Bruce Weber as the famed photographer’s definitive tribute to the town. Enfolding Tom Hanks and Halle Berry, Amy Adams and Jonah Hill, Selena Gomez and Alan Arkin, Weber’s vision called for a variety of talent—of both the two- and four-legged variety. The cover: Ben Affleck and Bradley Cooper (impishly smiling in a bear suit and a gorilla costume, respectively) flank America’s sweetheart Emma Stone. Oscar winner Affleck cemented his status as Hollywood’s in-demand director with Argo, which received seven Academy Award nominations, including best picture, while Cooper’s Silver Linings Playbook received eight nominations, including Cooper’s first for best actor. Youngest-ever best-actress nominee Quvenzhané Wallis also appears on the cover gatefold along with Olivia Wilde, Kerry Washington, and Eddie Redmayne.
Weber’s wild(life) wit continues inside, as Les Misérables’ Redmayne and Bella Heathcote dance with a bear, tiger cubs make an appearance, and the most fawned-over participant in the whole production—Tai the elephant—mugs for the camera. Tai, who has her own IMDb page and several starring film credits, at one point walked through the soundstage at Hollywood Center Studios and began to perform some of her favorite tricks. Later that day she even gave Gomez a ride on her trunk.
Editor Graydon Carter wanted to do something different for the portfolio’s 19th year, so he called on Weber to create “Bruce Weber’s Adventures in Hollywood,” an ode to the city’s warmer side. Weber convened the shoots at various historic Hollywood locations—including back lots, soundstages, the Beverly Hills Hotel, Musso & Frank Grill, and the old Marion Davies estate. He shipped selected LPs and a portable record player to provide the right musical accompaniment for the assorted cast of Hollywood characters. When Weber was staging Quincy Jones and three of his beautiful daughters—Rashida, Kidada, and Kenya—Weber asked them to come up with a song they all knew so that they could sing together. Michael Jackson’s “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’,” from the Thriller album, which Quincy produced, was their choice.
V.F. special correspondent Bob Colacello, who accompanied Weber on many of the shoots, observes that Bruce’s “magic kingdom . . . is more Cinecittà than Disney, a place where Old Hollywood glamour is filtered through the lens of postwar Italian neo-realism, and Norman Rockwell wholesomeness is given an antic Fellini edge.” Having spent decades watching the movie business, Weber finds the unexpected warmth among its stars. There’s an intimacy to these images that shows that Hollywood isn’t just about glamour. This year’s portfolio is a celebration of the friendships that thrive among the people who call it home.
Yeah. They chose to profile Halle Berry instead of Quvenzhané Wallis. They chose to profile Olivia Wilde (WTF?!!?!) instead of Jennifer Lawrence or Jessica Chastain. They can’t profile Joaquin Phoenix or Phillip Seymour Hoffman from The Master – not when last year’s Best Supporting Actor nominee Jonah Hill is around! I can’t complain about Kerry Washington or Eddie Redmayne, because both of them did have a great year. But profiling them at the same time as VF gives Olivia Wilde space just seems… wrong. This seems like a Hollywood Portfolio put together by your mom.
Photos courtesy of VF.
Written by Kaiser
Posted in Ben Affleck, Bradley Cooper, Emma Stone, Vanity Fair
- The Blemish interviews Carmen Electra [The Blemish]
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- Morgan Freeman falls asleep during interview [D-Listed]
- Fug or fab: Isla Fisher [Go Fug Yourself]
- Tamra Barney confirms spinoff [Reality Tea]
- Movie franchises that rebounded [Pajiba]
- Why Dylan McKay is the perfect boyfriend [Buzzfeed]
- Saoirse Ronan could have been a Lohan [Evil Beet]
- GIFs from Cannes [Popsugar]
- Cat massages a dog [CDAN]
- Heather Graham is so pretty [Celebslam]
- What is Lucy Hale wearing? [Moe Jackson]
I feel like Vanity Fair is now the Anne Hathaway of the magazine world — so try-hard it makes you sad. I remember how much I used to love this magazine, making it even more pathetic to see its current state.
Well . . . Ben Affleck looks cute here. That’s about all I can say that’s good about it. And what is Olivia Wilde even doing in this piece — how is she up to the level of anyone else featured here?
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“The Anne Hathaway of the magazine world”! *lol*
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+1 about VF. I used to live for it, for years and years. Now I haven’t picked one up or looked at it online in probably a year.
Ben does look cute but he looks like he can barely stand being in the shot. Bradley, on the other hand, snuggled right in. Yuck.
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I feel the same way about Vogue. They need to fire some people and bring in someone fresh with new ideas.
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Sad. I used to love Vogue, too. I try to be a supporter of traditional media — I still have a couple magazine subscriptions and I read actual books vs. ebooks. But these publishers clearly do not know what to do to stay relevant.
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My mother used to collect Vanity Fairs when the mag was in its prime during the 90s and before Annie Leibovitz stopped giving a crap. I adopted the tradition and especially looked forward to the Hollywood issue every year–the photos and articles used to be dynamic and original. In 2008 they replaced the cover with a shot of Obama. Sorry POTUS, but that was blasphemous.
I would agree about the Anne Hathaway comment (lol), but to me it seems like the opposite. VF just keeps phoning it in, again and again. I mean, 1/3 of their covers each year have long-dead celebrities on them. Don’t even get me started with their inexplicable obsession with Marilyn Monroe….
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Yet, they chose not to include Anne Hathaway. Let’s be thankful for the little things.
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I 2nd that. They will never get my money.
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Kinda super super jealous of Emma Stone right now.
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Although, to be fair, she kind of looks as if she wanted to be elsewhere.
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If a guy who looked like a serial killer (BC) was laying next to you, wouldn’t you want to be?
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I totally agree! What a terrible photo to use on the cover!
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+100
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Awful. A 40-year-old and a 38-year-old in bed with with a 24-year-old blonde. I know they’re fully dressed (in a gorilla outfit?) but still… And of course Olivia Wilde wears next to nothing.
Also, that picture of Jonah Hill make me think that Leonardo DiCaprio must have been around for that photoshoot since that’s how Jonah gets his women, isn’t it?
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Yeah, the costuming bothers me also. I try not to get too PC when reading these types of magazines, but young thing Emma Stone in bed with two middle-aged guys, three hot, skinny girls draped adoringly over tubby Jonah Hill, Halle Berry getting to second base with herself, and next-to-naked Olivia Wilde . . .this is the best they could do for female Hollywood? Very empowering (*heavy sarcasm*).
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The only thing appealing about these photos is the little girl playing the drums in the back shot.
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Olivia Wilde is the burlesque shot? First I didn’t recognize her, and second she’s got the world’s shortest legs.
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If there was a real live like button accompanying each post I’d probably break it for this comment. I agree with you so hard.
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That little girl is Quvenzhane Wallis from Beasts of the Southern Wild. She and Dwight Henry, another non-actor, were beyond description good in this movie. Actually, the entire cast was wonderful and the movie was like visual poetry. It was deep, dark, almost ugly at times because it depicted an impoverished region, but it flowed in a lyrical way that was mesmerizing and utterly beautiful. I just saw the movie this past weekend and all its hype is spot-on.
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My mom would have done a better job.
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Without knowing your Mom Brin even I think she would have done a better job.
This must have been set up months is advance because that Tom Hanks/Halle Berry movie was a massive flop. And Olivia Wilde? Why? Actually she was good in that People Like Us movie but that was a teeny tiny independent and she had a teeny tiny part. The movie was about Chris Pine and Elizabeth Banks. That was her most recent role; So again…why?
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There is nothing in these pictures that make me want to look at them a second time (or a third, or a fourth). The old VF spreads kept me looking.
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“Special Collectors Edition”
(eye roll)
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The only people who deserve space in this issue are Wallis and Affleck. I refuse to believe that Cooper is an Oscar nominee (although I begrudgingly accept that he was the only good part of SLP). Emma Stone did not have a great year unfortunately because Spider Man was AWFUL… and I was really rooting for her. Let’s act like Gangster Squad never happened.
Where is Amy Adams? The F–K? 4 time Oscar nominee and no profile? And what has Halle Berry done recently besides wear awful dresses and produce an adorable daughter…?
I think the issue here is less who they picked and rather these are the ONLY people they had access to… I mean doesn’t Olivia Wilde show up to the opening of an envelope at this point?
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+1
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amy did shoot the hollywood portfolio, check out this behind the scenes video
http://www.vanityfair.com/video/2013/01/behind-the-scenes-of-bruce-weber-s-hollywood-portfolio_2112653128001#page=1&plid=2068888465001
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+2
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Looks like Halle is offering her breasts up for grabs. I’ll stay away Halle, I know you’ll turn on me when things get rough!
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Then she later accused her own breasts of being a racist and instructed Olivier Martinez to punch it to death. Which he of course did because her breasts do things to a man’s mind… Then she will accuse Olivier Martinez of being a racist woman beater and so on etc.
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Agreed. WORST MENAGE EVER.
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omnishambles
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I seriously can’t ever read that word without hearing Peter Capaldi in my head
I’d quite like an explanation from VF as to why Olivia Wilde, Halle Berry and Selena Gomez are being featured. Da fuq have they done this year? Same goes for Emma Stone, I know she’s this ridiculous ‘it’ girl now, but as mentioned above she’s had a bad year with Spiderman and Gangster Squad.
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I love that this word has made it into the dictionary.
VF deserve to get ‘Tuckered’ for this.
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Emma is losing ground as the girl’s girl. She was cute because she was quirky and different, now she’s anorexic and blonde like every other Hollywood wannabe.
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I agree. I quickly realised she is just another Hollywood actress, you know? Even her photoshoots went Hollywood. She seems so average now and she doesn’t have any acting award like JLaw to warrant going so blah.
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Don’t want to be mean or anything but I wanna punch Jonah Hill in the face.I also like the bear pic.
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Seriously. I don’t get the love for him. He creeps me out, frankly.
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Same. Even 21 Jump Street couldn’t make me like him.
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WTF half of these people were BARELY on the screen this year! Why put Emma Stone when she is just a rom com actress? Why not JLaw or Jessica Chastain? Or why not Meryl? THAT would have been an interesting cover.
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Happened last year, on the cover were Jennifer Lawrence, Rooney Mara, Jessica Chastain and Mia Wasikoswka.
If they only want to put white people on cover, can´t they at least choose talented white people?
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Agreed about Emma Stone. I don’t get how she’s blown up. Marginal across the board. And that damn lisp of hers…
Maybe if they didn’t cram these actresses down our throats between their make-up and fashion campaigns they are SO overexposed we wouldn’t tire of them so quickly. I miss the days of the supermodel SO MUCH. Let actors act and models model.
Halle Berry? Really? Ick. And she is such a t**t! Boo! Vanity Fair! Just Boo!
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OMG completely agree!
I think Hollywood is so desperate to find the next Charlize, Sandra, & Angelina that whenever someone shows minimal talent they just shove them down our throats.
Emma’s lisp & annoying voice drives me bonkers.
They’re already treating these new batch of girls (all the Emma’s, JLaw, Kstew)like they are Hollywood Veteran’s.
They are so overexposed & they’re barely in their 20s!
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What big Oscar movie was Emma Stone in this year? I like the girl but not sure why she was in charge of reading the Oscar nominees and now on an Oscar cover issue. Then you have Olivia Wilde who is a major ‘WTF significant has this girl done in acting lately’. This is just silly. VF has gone down hill.
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Eddie Redmayne is hot. Everyone else can go f**k themselves.
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+1
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Definitely! I’m glad Taylor Swift didn’t succeed in hitting it!
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Indeed! That photo of him with Bella and the bear is what I like best in this photoshoot.
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THIS!
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Guys, go to the site and watch the video of him dancing. IT. IS. PRICELESS.
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WTF…the covers in the 90s were so much better. I always looked forward to seeing who they would anoint for the cover. This is disappointing.
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At least the three of them have a little something called talent! Unlike a few others that are reported on here daily…cough Kraptrashians for example.
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Jonah Hill’s fantasy in a photograph
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okay, who the heck is the last person? The one in the sailor outfit?
This whole spread is perplexing me.
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Could be wrong but I think it’s Armie Hammer, the guy in Lone Ranger with Johnny Depp?
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I had a classic it’s on the tip of my tongue moment with the last photo. It took me a while to remember Armie Hammer’s name!
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I think it’s Armie Hammer. This whole thing is all kinds of crappy. I’m really offended by how bad this is. Halle Berry, I mean Halle freaking Berry, forgetting the fact that she’s kind of nuts can anyone tell me the last decent film she made?
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Well, I was just readings somewhere that Ewan and Cumby (!!!!!) are also featured. My first thought was that it was Ewan, but assumed Kaiser would have had more to say if that was true.
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Bruce Weber is better than this.
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Bradley Cooper needs to start saying no to magazine covers because they just add to his serial killer vibe.
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Haha! Halle Berry: *with a serious, steady gaze* “I bring you… these.”
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I never thought I’d utter these words, but… Emma Stone looks terrible.
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Ben definitely makes sense. Bradley is debatable. Emma? I love her but this wasn’t her year.
They should have featured some of the great actors in Argo, Hugh Jackman, that little girl from Suthern Beasts, Jessica Chastain, Jennifer Lawrence (it was definitely her year), Daniel Day Lewis (I will never tire of profiles on him), etc.
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Bradley is an Oscar nominee and he is the only good part of this cover/photoshoot.
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WTF is Halle Berry doing there she’s box office poison.
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I think I would find an actual sandwich on the cover more appealing than Ben and Bradley though to be fair they are both nominees so…Vanity Fair used to be one of my favorite reads but they make it impossible to like them.
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WTF???….I used to love the VF Hollywood issue but…this is wrong on sooo many levels. Affleck is there because of his film being nominated for an Oscar, Cooper is nominated for Best Actor so, yeah, that makes sense. Emma Stone is there because her people paid to have her on the cover plain and simple. I like Emma but so far, she’s had TWO bombs: Gangster Squad and the abysmal Movie 43 (she wasn’t THE STAR but was one of them and after the BO/critical failure of Gangster Squad, Movie 43 did her NO FAVORS).
It seems (with the exception of a few worthy actors/actresses, this issue is made up of actors/actresses of medium talent. It’s strange. I mean, no profile for Jennifer Lawrence??? (critically acclaimed actress who has won just about every fucking award out there (LOL!). The same goes for Chastain, and every other actor/actress who has gained critical/awards attention over the last several months. Oh well, there’s always next year.
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Exactly. Emma does not belong here and I’m getting tired of seeing her everywhere for no reason other than she’s somewhat cute. Enough, every other girl out there is too.
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I miss the days when I could like Halle Berry. Now, all I can think of is how horrible a mother the woman is. Sometimes knowing too much about an actor wrecks any hope of enjoying them in a movie. It’s like Tom Cruise. He’s an amazing actor, but I can’t watch him in a movie now without my skin crawling. Just TMI.
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Greyson Carter just does not seemed longed for VF. This is just, no.
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That BEAR! Heeeeeeeeeeee!
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carzy idea what is that even mean? a woman should sleep with 2 men? I don’t see the art part sorry.
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wtf is olivia wilde doing there..why is she in all magazines ..she doesnt do anything! this is so wrong!
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maybe she’s there to celebrate her resurrected vagina?
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Hahahaha!
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Totally budget…
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Eddie is adorable. And that’s pretty much the only nice thing I have to say about this mess.
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These “celebrities” are so boring. I recognize who they are but I don’t even know their first names. When did Hollywood start sucking so bad?
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Vanity Fair used be SUCH an awesome magazine…
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I am sick of Bradley Cooper.
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Ben Affleck won’t be satisfied with playing the media until he’s a senator.
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Can someone explain Emma Stone to me? I asked my teen daughter the same question. She has no idea either and said she looks like a fish.
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I still like VF Although I never read the sycophantic cover articles. There’s usually lots of good stories in each issue with the exception of their music and Hollywood issues which never fail to disappoint.
Anna Wintour’s Vogue is a joke. Still can’t get over the tongue bath they gave the first lady of Syria last year — married to a murderous thug but so chic.
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I’m not feeling the 2 middle-aged men with Emma Stone in the bed. It’s such a worn out cliche.
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Someone explain to me why Olivia Wilde and Emmma Stone are in this VF issue since neither one of them was nominated for an Oscar? I think it would have been more fun to have Jessica Chastain in the middle. I have no problem with Ben or Brad. The praise for Argo is well justified and Bradley gave a good performance in SLP. Emma and Olivia on the other hand-well, they must have good agents.
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