Ben Affleck goes to bed with Emma Stone & Bradley Cooper… for the VF cover

Vanity Fair is exhausting. And not in the good way. I remember a time – not that long ago – when the Vanity Fair Hollywood Issue was one of the best parts of the awards season. VF would spend serious time on the Hollywood Portfolio, profiling not just the hot new talents of the year, but some of the grizzled Hollywood veterans, the character actors, the actors the critics adored, the surprises of the year. But the last five or six years, Vanity Fair has been trying to “fix” what wasn’t broken, and this year’s Hollywood Issue is terrible. I guess VF got tired of always being criticized for putting young white women on the cover so they made this cover… all white. But instead of a cover jammed with young talent, it’s just Ben Affleck, Bradley Cooper and a washed-out looking Emma Stone in bed together. WORSE MENAGE EVER.

It’s one for the history books—more than 75 different stars were photographed for Vanity Fair’s 19th Hollywood Portfolio, shot by Bruce Weber as the famed photographer’s definitive tribute to the town. Enfolding Tom Hanks and Halle Berry, Amy Adams and Jonah Hill, Selena Gomez and Alan Arkin, Weber’s vision called for a variety of talent—of both the two- and four-legged variety. The cover: Ben Affleck and Bradley Cooper (impishly smiling in a bear suit and a gorilla costume, respectively) flank America’s sweetheart Emma Stone. Oscar winner Affleck cemented his status as Hollywood’s in-demand director with Argo, which received seven Academy Award nominations, including best picture, while Cooper’s Silver Linings Playbook received eight nominations, including Cooper’s first for best actor. Youngest-ever best-actress nominee Quvenzhané Wallis also appears on the cover gatefold along with Olivia Wilde, Kerry Washington, and Eddie Redmayne.

Weber’s wild(life) wit continues inside, as Les Misérables’ Redmayne and Bella Heathcote dance with a bear, tiger cubs make an appearance, and the most fawned-over participant in the whole production—Tai the elephant—mugs for the camera. Tai, who has her own IMDb page and several starring film credits, at one point walked through the soundstage at Hollywood Center Studios and began to perform some of her favorite tricks. Later that day she even gave Gomez a ride on her trunk.

Editor Graydon Carter wanted to do something different for the portfolio’s 19th year, so he called on Weber to create “Bruce Weber’s Adventures in Hollywood,” an ode to the city’s warmer side. Weber convened the shoots at various historic Hollywood locations—including back lots, soundstages, the Beverly Hills Hotel, Musso & Frank Grill, and the old Marion Davies estate. He shipped selected LPs and a portable record player to provide the right musical accompaniment for the assorted cast of Hollywood characters. When Weber was staging Quincy Jones and three of his beautiful daughters—Rashida, Kidada, and Kenya—Weber asked them to come up with a song they all knew so that they could sing together. Michael Jackson’s “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’,” from the Thriller album, which Quincy produced, was their choice.

V.F. special correspondent Bob Colacello, who accompanied Weber on many of the shoots, observes that Bruce’s “magic kingdom . . . is more Cinecittà than Disney, a place where Old Hollywood glamour is filtered through the lens of postwar Italian neo-realism, and Norman Rockwell wholesomeness is given an antic Fellini edge.” Having spent decades watching the movie business, Weber finds the unexpected warmth among its stars. There’s an intimacy to these images that shows that Hollywood isn’t just about glamour. This year’s portfolio is a celebration of the friendships that thrive among the people who call it home.

[From Vanity Fair]

Yeah. They chose to profile Halle Berry instead of Quvenzhané Wallis. They chose to profile Olivia Wilde (WTF?!!?!) instead of Jennifer Lawrence or Jessica Chastain. They can’t profile Joaquin Phoenix or Phillip Seymour Hoffman from The Master – not when last year’s Best Supporting Actor nominee Jonah Hill is around! I can’t complain about Kerry Washington or Eddie Redmayne, because both of them did have a great year. But profiling them at the same time as VF gives Olivia Wilde space just seems… wrong. This seems like a Hollywood Portfolio put together by your mom.

Photos courtesy of VF.

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84 Responses to “Ben Affleck goes to bed with Emma Stone & Bradley Cooper… for the VF cover”

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  1. Faye says:

    I feel like Vanity Fair is now the Anne Hathaway of the magazine world — so try-hard it makes you sad. I remember how much I used to love this magazine, making it even more pathetic to see its current state.

    Well . . . Ben Affleck looks cute here. That’s about all I can say that’s good about it. And what is Olivia Wilde even doing in this piece — how is she up to the level of anyone else featured here?

  2. Lizzie says:

    Kinda super super jealous of Emma Stone right now.

  3. Hannah says:

    Awful. A 40-year-old and a 38-year-old in bed with with a 24-year-old blonde. I know they’re fully dressed (in a gorilla outfit?) but still… And of course Olivia Wilde wears next to nothing.
    Also, that picture of Jonah Hill make me think that Leonardo DiCaprio must have been around for that photoshoot since that’s how Jonah gets his women, isn’t it?

  4. brin says:

    My mom would have done a better job.

    • Mia 4S says:

      Without knowing your Mom Brin even I think she would have done a better job.

      This must have been set up months is advance because that Tom Hanks/Halle Berry movie was a massive flop. And Olivia Wilde? Why? Actually she was good in that People Like Us movie but that was a teeny tiny independent and she had a teeny tiny part. The movie was about Chris Pine and Elizabeth Banks. That was her most recent role; So again…why?

  5. Dirtnap says:

    There is nothing in these pictures that make me want to look at them a second time (or a third, or a fourth). The old VF spreads kept me looking.

  6. faun says:

    “Special Collectors Edition”

    (eye roll)

  7. kennedy says:

    The only people who deserve space in this issue are Wallis and Affleck. I refuse to believe that Cooper is an Oscar nominee (although I begrudgingly accept that he was the only good part of SLP). Emma Stone did not have a great year unfortunately because Spider Man was AWFUL… and I was really rooting for her. Let’s act like Gangster Squad never happened.

    Where is Amy Adams? The F–K? 4 time Oscar nominee and no profile? And what has Halle Berry done recently besides wear awful dresses and produce an adorable daughter…?

    I think the issue here is less who they picked and rather these are the ONLY people they had access to… I mean doesn’t Olivia Wilde show up to the opening of an envelope at this point?

  8. Falula says:

    Looks like Halle is offering her breasts up for grabs. I’ll stay away Halle, I know you’ll turn on me when things get rough!

    • Ms Kay says:

      Then she later accused her own breasts of being a racist and instructed Olivier Martinez to punch it to death. Which he of course did because her breasts do things to a man’s mind… Then she will accuse Olivier Martinez of being a racist woman beater and so on etc.

  9. mia girl says:


  10. Sarah says:

    Emma is losing ground as the girl’s girl. She was cute because she was quirky and different, now she’s anorexic and blonde like every other Hollywood wannabe.

  11. Merman says:

    Don’t want to be mean or anything but I wanna punch Jonah Hill in the face.I also like the bear pic.

  12. flor says:

    WTF half of these people were BARELY on the screen this year! Why put Emma Stone when she is just a rom com actress? Why not JLaw or Jessica Chastain? Or why not Meryl? THAT would have been an interesting cover.

    • stellalovejoydiver says:

      Happened last year, on the cover were Jennifer Lawrence, Rooney Mara, Jessica Chastain and Mia Wasikoswka.
      If they only want to put white people on cover, can´t they at least choose talented white people?

    • Gistine says:

      Agreed about Emma Stone. I don’t get how she’s blown up. Marginal across the board. And that damn lisp of hers…

      Maybe if they didn’t cram these actresses down our throats between their make-up and fashion campaigns they are SO overexposed we wouldn’t tire of them so quickly. I miss the days of the supermodel SO MUCH. Let actors act and models model.

      Halle Berry? Really? Ick. And she is such a t**t! Boo! Vanity Fair! Just Boo!

      • sam says:

        OMG completely agree!
        I think Hollywood is so desperate to find the next Charlize, Sandra, & Angelina that whenever someone shows minimal talent they just shove them down our throats.
        Emma’s lisp & annoying voice drives me bonkers.
        They’re already treating these new batch of girls (all the Emma’s, JLaw, Kstew)like they are Hollywood Veteran’s.
        They are so overexposed & they’re barely in their 20s!

  13. T.C. says:

    What big Oscar movie was Emma Stone in this year? I like the girl but not sure why she was in charge of reading the Oscar nominees and now on an Oscar cover issue. Then you have Olivia Wilde who is a major ‘WTF significant has this girl done in acting lately’. This is just silly. VF has gone down hill.

  14. Gracie says:

    Eddie Redmayne is hot. Everyone else can go f**k themselves.

  15. Talie says:

    WTF…the covers in the 90s were so much better. I always looked forward to seeing who they would anoint for the cover. This is disappointing.

  16. Dawn says:

    At least the three of them have a little something called talent! Unlike a few others that are reported on here daily…cough Kraptrashians for example.

  17. daz says:

    Jonah Hill’s fantasy in a photograph

  18. T.Fanty says:

    okay, who the heck is the last person? The one in the sailor outfit?

    This whole spread is perplexing me.

  19. bns says:

    Bruce Weber is better than this.

  20. lori says:

    Bradley Cooper needs to start saying no to magazine covers because they just add to his serial killer vibe.

  21. Flim says:

    Haha! Halle Berry: *with a serious, steady gaze* “I bring you… these.”

  22. jules says:

    I never thought I’d utter these words, but… Emma Stone looks terrible.

  23. Lb says:

    Ben definitely makes sense. Bradley is debatable. Emma? I love her but this wasn’t her year.

    They should have featured some of the great actors in Argo, Hugh Jackman, that little girl from Suthern Beasts, Jessica Chastain, Jennifer Lawrence (it was definitely her year), Daniel Day Lewis (I will never tire of profiles on him), etc.

  24. Nancy says:

    WTF is Halle Berry doing there she’s box office poison.

  25. mln76 says:

    I think I would find an actual sandwich on the cover more appealing than Ben and Bradley though to be fair they are both nominees so…Vanity Fair used to be one of my favorite reads but they make it impossible to like them.

  26. Jules says:

    WTF???….I used to love the VF Hollywood issue but…this is wrong on sooo many levels. Affleck is there because of his film being nominated for an Oscar, Cooper is nominated for Best Actor so, yeah, that makes sense. Emma Stone is there because her people paid to have her on the cover plain and simple. I like Emma but so far, she’s had TWO bombs: Gangster Squad and the abysmal Movie 43 (she wasn’t THE STAR but was one of them and after the BO/critical failure of Gangster Squad, Movie 43 did her NO FAVORS).

    It seems (with the exception of a few worthy actors/actresses, this issue is made up of actors/actresses of medium talent. It’s strange. I mean, no profile for Jennifer Lawrence??? (critically acclaimed actress who has won just about every fucking award out there (LOL!). The same goes for Chastain, and every other actor/actress who has gained critical/awards attention over the last several months. Oh well, there’s always next year.

  27. Kate says:

    I miss the days when I could like Halle Berry. Now, all I can think of is how horrible a mother the woman is. Sometimes knowing too much about an actor wrecks any hope of enjoying them in a movie. It’s like Tom Cruise. He’s an amazing actor, but I can’t watch him in a movie now without my skin crawling. Just TMI.

  28. Tiffany says:

    Greyson Carter just does not seemed longed for VF. This is just, no.

  29. Alexis says:

    carzy idea what is that even mean? a woman should sleep with 2 men? I don’t see the art part sorry.

  30. lylaooooo says:

    wtf is olivia wilde doing there..why is she in all magazines ..she doesnt do anything! this is so wrong!

  31. andrea says:

    Eddie is adorable. And that’s pretty much the only nice thing I have to say about this mess.

  32. sam says:

    These “celebrities” are so boring. I recognize who they are but I don’t even know their first names. When did Hollywood start sucking so bad?

  33. LL says:

    Vanity Fair used be SUCH an awesome magazine…

  34. Nicole Ocean says:

    I am sick of Bradley Cooper.

  35. KellyinSeattle says:

    Ben Affleck won’t be satisfied with playing the media until he’s a senator.

  36. freakylady says:

    Can someone explain Emma Stone to me? I asked my teen daughter the same question. She has no idea either and said she looks like a fish.

  37. mystified says:

    I still like VF Although I never read the sycophantic cover articles. There’s usually lots of good stories in each issue with the exception of their music and Hollywood issues which never fail to disappoint.

    Anna Wintour’s Vogue is a joke. Still can’t get over the tongue bath they gave the first lady of Syria last year — married to a murderous thug but so chic.

  38. Ann says:

    I’m not feeling the 2 middle-aged men with Emma Stone in the bed. It’s such a worn out cliche.

  39. Juicy Lucy says:

    Someone explain to me why Olivia Wilde and Emmma Stone are in this VF issue since neither one of them was nominated for an Oscar? I think it would have been more fun to have Jessica Chastain in the middle. I have no problem with Ben or Brad. The praise for Argo is well justified and Bradley gave a good performance in SLP. Emma and Olivia on the other hand-well, they must have good agents.