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It’s been more than two months since we’ve had any new photos or stories about Tom Hardy. I’ve been missing him lately, especially since pre-Oscar gossip has been deader than dead. And magically, here he is! I would like to thank whatever paparazzo managed to grab these photos of Tom in London yesterday – he was going into the Soho Hotel.
Tom spent much of 2012 hiding under a particularly grizzly beard. It wasn’t his styling choice – he was cast in Mad Max: Fury Road, and he spent months in Africa filming it. When he came back to London, he shaved his mega-fur and went clean-shaven for about a second, and now it looks like he’s back to a beard. I don’t know if this beard is for a role or not, but it definitely looks like he’s keeping it trimmed and stuff. Mad Max isn’t due out until 2014, and Tom does have some projects in various stages of pre-production (including something with Noomi Rapace!), but 2013 is not going to be The Year of Hardy. He doesn’t have anything coming out this year. Which means we’ll just have to make do with the rare candid photos we get this year.
As to the “Would I hit it?” question – of course I would. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that I’m even more likely to hit it when he has a beard. Imagine that tickling your thighs and then answer the question.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.
Written by Kaiser
Posted in Tom Hardy
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Meh. I get that everyone thinks he’s hot, but to me, he kind of has dead eyes.
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Lol dead eyes. I like his lips and I think we’d have a filthy, fantastic time together but once would be enough. Basically I wouldn’t say no, but I think we’ve established that dong is my kryptonite so I’m not the best bar by which to judge.
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Heh – to be fair, we’re not the pickiest bunch over here. I suppose that if push came to shove, I could always just blindfold him.
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@Miss Kiki – we are going to need to hose you down. Heavens child, you’re positively in heat today.
Alas, you are both correct, on certain days we’d hit just about anything. I’d use your blindfold as a gag when you were through with him, T. Fan.
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like a house on fire?? Yep, with very large flames!! I like the trimmed beard on him. Dare I say…even more than when he’s clean shaven? I’m not sure about that yet. Not that I would kick him out of bed either way!
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You know it Kaiser!!!!!
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uhm not anymore. he doesn’t look like he used to. Something is missing in his eyes.
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he got fat!!!
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well, I’m for gender equality so I guess I should be thrilled that you think he is fat. That is NOT fat for heaven’s sake!
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All day/any day.
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I have a classic case of ‘Jeremy Renner Syndrome’ when it comes to Tom Hardy – to explain, I love him as an actor but I wouldn’t hit it. A bit meh for me.
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Is Jeremy Renner even on our hot spectrum? From the third-grade haircut to the knocked up “roommate,” poor Jeremy doesn’t even merit a CB “would you hit it?” post.
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Yes, yes he is. He may be a pocket rocket but he is a very good actor, which is sexy and his arms are that by which my dreams are made. I would do very bad, bad things for a shot to run my tongue up one of those arms.
Interestingly, he takes his shirt off in Hansel and Gretel *hold down bile* and that did nothing for me. It’s all about the arms. Put him in a vest and send him my way, please.
Hardy? I will leave him to the others.
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I hang my head in shame. Enjoy your muscle-bound pocket-rocket. I’ll save myself for the geeks!
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*narrows eyes* What geeks, exactly?
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T. Fanty, please allow me to answer Miss Eyre, just in case you’re busy gingerbaby-wrangling.
What geeks? Cumby, of course! English-teacher-neckroll-cardigan-wearing-baby-stashing Cumby! Put some glasses on him. And a bookbag—not a cool one, a dork bookbag.
And you, Miss Eyre—does Mr. Rochester know you’re this freaky?
P.S. T.Fanty, I’m sure I missed some of your fave geeks, due to my single-minded Cumbylovin’. Please advise.
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OK, Jaguar Holmes, we’ve established, belongs to you so I can allow this comment.
Does Mr. Rochester know I am this freaky? Darling, why do you think Mr. Rochester sticks around *wink*
Renner is on the list approved by Mr. Rochester that I can find attractive and my adoration of his arms is so well known, my 7 year old son drew a picture of said arms (just the arms) and put them on the fridge for me.
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@ j.eyre:
Hahahaha! A drawing of just the little Renner’s arms?! That’s hysterical! I like this lad, your son.
But pipe down about my Jaguar Man! We must speak in whispers. I heard a very reliable report that Eve has been spotted in the neighborhood. She may be cruising around looking to defend her alien Cumber-hubby. (Who is also my & T.Fanty’s Cumber-hubby, as you know.) There has been a sighting, & somebody’s probably gonna get shanked.
Update: Oh my God! Eve just came squealing around the corner in her Jaguar, on 2 wheels. I am running to Thornfield to save my life! Okay if I hide in the attic?
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EsCon – “Okay if I hide in the attic?” that’s what it’s there for, darling.
I shall distract Eve with some post-bris dong-sweaters I’ve just knitted. That Jaguar, though, I could listen to that engine all day.
RE: the post that brought Eve out the other day – I still find myself giggling over Eve’s “I smell fear” entrance and Miss Kiki’s “And like Beetlejuice, there she is” follow up. CB brilliance, honestly.
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@ j.eyre:
Dong-sweaters? Brilliant! You could do a very brisk business selling those things, Jane. Of course we would need a range of sizes, & Kaiser would be a pain in the arse, as a customer, trying to get Fassy’s dong-sweater made bigger.
I agree, the CB ladies are so funny it’s practically supernatural. I think Eve might have special powers. Just when the other Cumberladies relax the tiniest bit & think they’re safe, Ba-da-BOOM! Slut-shanked!
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Oh, my – look what I missed. That’ll teach me for taking the Fantlings out for an educational day at the museum. Won’t be making that mistake again, soon.
I do have to say, that judging by our little gaggle of geeks and their penchant for knitwear, I think a dong-sweater business might be just the ticket to lure them all in. I’m definitely volunteering for the measuring part of the job. I would also advise hiding the knitting needles, if you happen to see any Eve-shaped shadows lurking in the corner, or hear the clandestine revving of a Jaguar engine.
Oh, and in the hot geeks reference, I cover Cumby (the geekiest of them all. I read an interview with him recently in which he talked about being a biker, only to later reveal that he does, in fact, ride a Vespa. Cumby-brilliance), Hiddles, McAvoy, Whishaw, Tennant, JGL (since he was awarded the great honor of being Twitter’s hot cardigan wearer of last week) etc. Which leads me to want to request a hot-man March Madness once more. Arms or no, Renner would be kicked to the curb in round one.
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By the way – totally off topic, but why would one hit a house that was on fire?
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One wouldn’t.
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@T.Fanty:
I wouldn’t usually suggest that the Fantlings miss a day at a museum, but today we did kind of need you here. Eve was positively wild-eyed, & I didn’t know I could run that fast. Miss Eyre held the door at Thornfield open so I could hurtle right in. I’m writing this now by candlelight, & I’m still hiding under the old iron bedstead.
And did you say Cumby on a Vespa?! What a geeky thing to do! That is embarrassingly dorky—you won’t catch bad-ass Tom Hardy poncing about on a Vespa.
Oh, almost forgot—re: the new dong-sweater line, Human Resources just called to say that there are too many bitches fighting over who gets the “measuring” job, so they are giving it to Jeremy Renner, because he’s got great arms.
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Honestly, like we need MORE educated folk running about. Isn’t that how we got into this mess? All these fancy boys with their sheepskins? Wait, what museum exactly?
Jiminey Crickets! I hope HR sends me some help in production – my little fingers are raw from knitting. Measure all you want, I insist on final fittings, however. I need to make sure my work looks good.
Where does RedCarp fit on the geek list and can we really not find one American for the list? That is so sad. Can I put Clark Gregg? He has an MFA from NYU.
Kick Renner to the curb, that’s his thing. And when he falls, he will catch himself with his hands… that are connected to his arms… that would flex… that wou… oh…
I am horrified that you took the Fantlings to a museum and I took the Heir and Heiress to a giant warehouse full of bouncy houses. *gack* what have I become?
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@ j.eyre:
I have no problem with Clark Gregg. May I put forth Joseph Gordon-Levitt? He is cute as a button on a cardigan, even though I’ve creeped myself out finding a guy attractive who was once a little kid on Dark Shadows. Oh, what? That was 22 years ago? All right then.
Please don’t fret about taking the Thornfield Hall heirs to that warehouse while the Fantlings went to a museum. It’s probably much more disturbing that I took my hedgehogs to The Museum of Bouncy Houses.
As for HR, someone will need to remind them that this dong-sweater line is a *small* operation & they had better not get too impatient. Especially now that we’re adding matching socks to the catalogue.
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Let’s accept the Beetlejuice principle, and be wary of speaking the name of E&e. I have too many imaginary men stashed under my bed to hide myself. It’s getting a little crowded down there. #Celebitchesproblems.
We can’t go to bouncy warehouses anymore. I threw a temper tantrum when they wouldn’t let me bounce and we were politely asked to leave. So we had to go to the Met. I now can’t believe that I went to bed and missed the matching sock development. You know Cumby is all over that.
I might have to object to Clark on the list. I knew him way back when he and I were both theatre folk and there is nothing geeky about him. No dodgy cardigans there, which I think might be as much of a pre-requisite than the intelligence. He can be all yours, Miss Eyre. In fact, I’ll write him a letter of recommendation (speaking of writing, Miss E, I’m still going to bug you about the e-zine article you mentioned the other day).
By the way, if you need more knitting labour, I’ll enlist the capable part of my ginger child army. Keep them out of my hair, while I take care of more important issues…
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@ T.Fanty:
I only hope that I live long enough to use the phrase “I threw a temper tantrum when they wouldn’t let me bounce.” It’s one of the best sentences I’ve ever read, & I doff my beret in your general direction.
As far as I know, the newly launched “Dong-Sweater & Matching Sock” line is the first of its kind. Take that, “WhatAreYouWearingBenedict.tumblr.com.”
I’m sorry, I already regret giving them “publicity.”
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WHAT? No Hardy 2013?!? Now that is a travesty. Looks aside I have yet find Tom Hardy film I did not enjoy.
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“…would you hit it like a house on fire?”
I’ll possibly call the fire brigade.
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Don’t you dare call the fire brigade until I’m done with him!
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he’s hot but he seems like he’s purposely trying to appear less attractive… with that beard and all. I think he looked SO HOT at the Inception premiere.
http://cdn03.cdn.justjared.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/hardy-charlotte/tom-hardy-charlotte-riley-06.jpg
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Le grand, grand sigh.
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My biscuit just got dizzy. Can I say that?
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Yep!
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Marry me, Tom!
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No, ugh he is so gross to me.
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Thank you for these. I broke up with my boyfriend of 2+ years last night, got no sleep, and basically feel like death. A tall, strong glass of Hardy is exactly what I need. Also beer.
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Oh man…I’m so sorry, Brown. The day after a break-up is always THE. WORST.
That sinking feeling…ugh. Keep your chin up, sister.
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Brown: Ugh. Hate break ups. At least you did it; way better thant he other way round.
Have that beer with a little head on it
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Been reading your blog since I happened upon it this summer. This is my first time to comment…I just had to say you crack me up, and you always manage to say what I’m thinking. Thanks for giving me the guy candy, and hilarious commentary!
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!!!!!! I would hit it so hard
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Hell Yess!! love the guy! fantastic actor!
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Yes. And he’s not my type. I love his dirty beard.
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He looks DELECTABLE in these photos-beard is much improved.
I have such a thing for this guy-so so talented and SO sexy.
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He is so sexy. I most definitely would allow this man to ravage me.
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Hell yeah I would hit it all day and night.
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MY BABY!!! Hey, baby. How you doin’?! UNF! *le sigh*
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ALWAYS AND FOREVER. Like Fassbender to Kaiser, Tom Hardy is my “forever dong”
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I’d hit it. Walk away. Run back. Hit it again. Stagger away. Crawl back. Hit it again – and then check myself into the nearest exhaustion clinic (hopefully)
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The beard is ruining it for me
But shave that puppy off and Yes!! All day long!!
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Personally, I like him more with beards rather than smooth face. I don’t even know my type anymore.
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+1. He was even hotter with his Mad Max Beard! It gave him a “sexy beast” look
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I so would! Bane!!!!! Side note: I just watched re-watched Inception for the first time in over a year a few days ago and completely fell in love with Hardy all over again
With all that acting talent, attitude, brawn AND proper British accent, dude is a dream 
(I stand by my thoughts that he should have 100% played Henry VIII in The Tudors instead of Rhys-Myers…)
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SO true—he would have been fan-!@#$-ing- tastic as Henry VIII! Wow. I hadn’t thought of anyone else playing him.
Maybe someday, he will.
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Yes! Yes! Yes! The beard is really doing it for me, and I love how sweet he is to his fans.
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Oh yes I would hit it, hard. But just once. To get it out of my system. And then I’d go back to my lanky nerdy men, like I always do
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oof, YES I would hit it! That accent, those lips those eyes, that swagger… SWOON. And yah, he would have made a great Henry VIII. Rhys is a good actor, but…yeah, in that role, I dunno. Hardy would have been intriguing for sure.
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Ok! So story time for folks who will appreciate it! My fabulous friend was walking through her apartment’s lobby, carrying yucky Steak Escape. She gets into the elevator with the same “giant hooded” man whom she had just walked down the sidewalk, and through the lobby with (she’s only 5’2″). She kept thinking he looked familiar, especially when he gave her a very shy and sheepish smile. As he’s eating his banana, he looks over at her, and asks, “Is that any good?”, to which she cooly replies, “Not at all.” He gives her another scruffy, but still boyish smile, and then it hit her. This was the Tom Hardy. She called me and lost her $hit. I lost mine too. I died.
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your friend is so lucky! He seems so cute, I’ve heard is pretty shy when he’s around girls. Was she alone with him in the elevator ?
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I love this man! He is so hot, I’d hit him any time of the day. And night. He does have a show coming out on discovery channel in march…he decided to donate all the money to one of the many charities he supports. Hes hot and also a good guy!
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Gorgeous man. Sigh. I saw Lawless (finally) and he’s swoonworthy in it. Mumbly, yes. Hot, YES.
The more I movies I see him in, the more I like him.
Too bad it’ll be a Tom drought this year.
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I would rock his world. He would walk funny for at least a year.
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lol!! i need a new keyboard after spitting out my tea from laughing!
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I never found Hardy all that attractive. Then I read “imagine that [beard] tickling your thighs,” and now I am totally on board with this guy.
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I would hit him so hard that I would be the one suffering. I need this man. Now.
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Smokin’ hot. Tom Hardy is my #1 celeb crush hands down. Yes, I would love to hit that. Beard and all! Yum
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How did I miss this post?
*turns the fan on*
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He’s so YUM. Like chocolate covered fudge brownie yummy with whipped cream on top. I could just eat him up.
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Yes. With a spoon.
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Did I mention YUM? LOL
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yup, i’d totally burn it up for tom hardy
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Ladies! Achtung! Watch Tom Hardy as Heathcliff in the most recent “Wuthering Heights.”
I promise you will be walking into walls for days afterwards.
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You mean it’s better than the Ed Westwick one? (*praying you note the sarcasm*)
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Hey Girl,
No such thing? Now that is a shame….
I really haven’t recovered from Tom Hardy’s Heathcliff, & I hope I never do. I keep trying to tell people about it, & they keep begging me to shut up.
I think it’s pretty sad that no one seems to have seen it. He should be getting so much more attention for this astonishing Heathcliff! But at least here on CB, there’s a good chance at least a few people have seen it. (It might even be on YouTube, not sure.)
Okay, I’ll stop now!
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I’ll check it out. I find that a tough text to pull off, and don’t really get too excited about adaptations. Other than the Olivier/Merle Oberon version, because a) it’s Olivier at his hottest, and b) they didn’t even pretend to attempt the Northern accents. I love that his Heathcliff sounded EXACTLY like Hamlet.
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