Is Rihanna ‘hooking up’ with Dane Cook to get back at ‘cheater’ Chris Brown?


Just the very headline of this story might have made you roll your eyes in a “bitch, please!” sort of manner, but this story seems believable to me in a very strange way. That is, we all know that Rihanna has terrible taste in men. I mean, one only needs to consider that she’s completely hooked on Chris Brown even though he beat the holy hell out of her a few years ago and hasn’t even shown the slightest bit of remorse or even bothered to complete his community service in a legit manner. If you can even look past the dude’s violent tendencies and well-documented behavior, then there’s the fact that Chris has been regularly stepping out on Rihanna with Karrueche Tran for quite some time now, and that trend won’t be stopping anytime soon.

Now the Enquirer has a new story that says Rihanna has found a way to get back at Chris for cheating on her with Karrueche and various other women. She’s allegedly getting down with Dane Cook backstage after his shows and at her home. Do you find it hard to believe that Rihanna would be attracted to a misogynistic douche like Dane? I don’t. Here’s the story:

Dane Cook

Rihanna has found a way to get back at her two-timing bad-boy beau Chris Brown by hooking up with comedian Dane Cook!

The gorgeous “We Found Love” singer and the quirky comic have been friends for years, and their riendship has heated up in recent months because Rihanna wants to show Chris Brown that she’s still a hot commodity, say sources.

Rihanna met Dane after watching one of his shows andt he Laugh Factory, and they got along so well that RiRi now tries to chatch his act whenever she’s in town, the sources add.

“They hang out in Dane’s dressing room and sometiems he goes back to her Pacific Palisades home to party,” revealed an insider. “They flirt like crazy, and Dane regularly sends Rihanna flowers and gushy emails.

“Rihanna’s friends all think they’re carrying on a romance, but she’s very secretive about it. She wants to keep everyone guessing, especially Chris.”

RIhanna, 25, and Chris, 23, began dating in early 2008 but split a year later afte rhe savagely beat her during an argument in his car. Chris was charged with felony assault. By the end of 2012, the pair had reuinited, but at the time Chris was still involved with aspiring fashion designer Karrueche Tran.

“Rihanna was hurt by Chris constantly cheating on her after they reconnected,” the insider continued. “He kept running back to Karrueche and also picking up groupies in nightclubs.” Meanwhile, Dane “makes her laugh and always leaves her feeling upbeat and good about herself.”

Chris suspects there may be something going on between Rihana and Dane, 41, and the two have gotten into “horrible screaming matches” about it. But Rihanna’s loving every minute of it, says the source. “The only thing she likes more than male attention is drama. She loves having Dane and Chris chasing after her at the same time.”

[From Enquirer, print edition, April 1, 2013]

You know, it’s a sad day when Dane Cook looks better than another suitor, but he definitely wins over Chris Brown in my book because Dane might specialize in sexist, disgusting, unfunny jokes, but at least he’s never punched a woman. He did sort of tweet on the topic last year: “The only time domestic violence is acceptable is in the movie Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Then it’s just master assassin-tastic!” So yes, the dude isn’t funny, but considering that I’d prefer Rihanna with almost anyone but Chris Brown, I say she should go for the uberdouche instead.

Here are some photos of Chris on the set of his new video about a week ago. Look at how he runs! It’s like he has hot sauce in his pants, and he’s learning forward like that so it doesn’t drip on his sparkling white shoes.

Chris Brown

Chris Brown


Dane Cook

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN

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55 Responses to “Is Rihanna ‘hooking up’ with Dane Cook to get back at ‘cheater’ Chris Brown?”

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  1. gogoGorilla says:

    Train wreck. Incoming.

  2. Felicia says:

    “You know, it’s a sad day when Dane Cook looks better than another suitor, but he definitely wins over Chris Brown in my book because Dane might specialize in sexist, disgusting, unfunny jokes, but at least he’s never punched a woman.”

    That basically said it all for me.

  3. Cassie says:

    That would be like wearing a pair of jeans over another pair of jeans: ridiculous and pointless.

  4. Lottie says:

    Chris hearing gossip like this is gonna get Rihanna killed….

  5. I'm Gonna Leave Soon says:

    I thought it was Adam Levine. Either way no, just no, become a lesbian before any of these. (Am I offending lesbians?)

  6. Brittany says:

    Dane Cook still has an audience? Somehow I find that more surprising than the actual story…

  7. Anna says:

    Brown looks sicker by the day.. Is he on hardcore drugs or something?

  8. Annemarie says:

    Good lord, woman, get better taste in men!

  9. MonicaQ says:

    Maybe because my only encounter with Dane Cook consists of I’m-a-raptor-while-drunk and tires-to-the-face-at-NASCAR-events jokes during college, I don’t have a supreme hatred of him. More like Adam Sandler/Carolla–your time has come and gone.

    Still a better option by a mile than Mr Brown.

  10. bea says:

    She should consider going out with a man one time, instead of all these immature clowns.

    It’s so crazy how low her self esteem is when she’s so successful and beautiful. It blows my mind that someone with access to psych help refuses to get any.

  11. Dominique says:

    I don’t believe this story. There’s a bit in her profile in Rolling Stone last month about her being a comedy show and Dane Cook performing. She goes to rails about how awful she found his set. Why then would she turn around and start boning him? I think Rihanna find humor in a man very sexy, and if you aren’t making her laugh…

  12. heyu says:

    Lmao at tis stupid story.. NE got all tis from her rolling stone interview last month which took place at that comdey sh ow( likely ran wit their own made up extra spicy version )

    If u read the rollling stone interview according to d writer dane cook act didn’t even impress her, it was another unknow act that she found funny and met after the show to tell him she loved it.

    And according to that she left the place wit her gfs and d interviewer..

    Tbh rihanna is on tour at d moment and has been since last week, so according to NE when does she hv time to hang wit cook, when most of the time she was free before touring she wasn’t event in d country or spending time wit chris brown??

    I hate when tabs try to make stupid false stories.m

    I bet the next story they gonna hv is abt her hooking up wit the rapper ASAP Rocky cos he is on tour wit her as her opening act *roll eyes*.. I hat tis idea that they think a woman must be sleeping wit any male she comes in contact with mscheww

  13. Arock says:

    If dean cook is being used as pawn, then it’s the first funny thing he’s been involved in in years.
    Love the pick of Chris brown hanging in the burbs by his Lamborghini, how very 80′s.
    *picks up rake* ” damn kids, get off my lawn!!”

  14. elceibeno08 says:

    I think it would be great if Rihanna cheated on Chris Brown with Dane Cook. Nothing would hurt Brown’s feelings more than his girlfriend cheating on him with a white dude! Dane is douchy, but he is good one-night stand material cause he is kind of hot.

  15. Trudy says:

    I was like LOL when I saw this story… Dane Cook? lol Rihanna has a type and it isn’t him. To me it seems as if the press is back to their slut shaming of this girl. They could have at least called a different actors name, one more believable.

  16. ladybert62 says:

    My thoughts are:

    (1) All three are sleezes
    (2) Brown is going to beat her up again if he even thinks she is doing this
    (3) She seems to have sex with any man within 20 feet of her
    (4) Obviously I am not a man, but if I were, I would seriously wonder about any STD she carries and transmits and thus would NOT have sex with her

  17. Dani says:

    Can’t believe I’m saying this but Dane Cook is too good for Rihanna. She’s a mess and a half and needs major rehab/mental help.

  18. Nicolette says:

    From one douche to another. Because why would you expect anything less from this girl.

  19. Alli says:

    Ummm, is Brown recreating the Sixteen Candles scene in those photos?! He better not touch such scared material with his woman beating hands.

  20. dcypher1 says:

    dane cook is so not funny at all.

  21. epiphany says:

    Yes, because what man could resist magnenta lipstick?

  22. Jill B. says:

    Rihanna is so annoying to me now. I’m sick of her. I used to think she was so beautiful but she looks ugly to me now. I just don’t like her. Why don’t you get singing lessons instead of chasing these losers?

  23. Sarah says:

    I guess most people would say this doesn’t matter, but I just listened to Pete Holmes podcast, You Made It Wierd, with Dane Cook, and Dane talked about how he is in a relationship and has been for 6 months. Someone that he was friends with first and that he is feeling really happy and grownup with.

  24. JC says:

    I’m going to hell, but I think Dane Cook is actually really hot.

  25. mar says:

    Dane is a cutie!

    Chris looks dirty and he has to have herpes

  26. j.eyre says:

    Hmm, this one I should be able to confirm or deny if anyone really cares. My friend is one of Dane’s inner circle – I will try to float it in conversation.

  27. anon says:

    Sounds more like a PR story leaked by Dane Cook for some attention.. lol

  28. Kathryn says:

    I actually like Dane Cook (his movies, his jokes) so whatever, I follow him on twitter and he has had a girlfriend for some time now which he references with things like “Watching movies with my girl” and tweets a pic of popcorn or whatever but he doesn’t mention her by name or tag her in anything. Do I think it’s Rihanna? Nope…

  29. KellyinSeattle says:

    I’m on the Rihanna, please go way club.

  30. skuddles says:

    I’ve never heard of this Dane Cook guy but I do hope RiRi is boinking him – and any other guy that catches her eye. Anyone is better than the despicable, disgusting POS Brown.

  31. mkyarwood says:

    OMG, someone kill those jeans jeans.

  32. Lulu.T.O. says:

    Might explain CB’s horrible drunken rant about p*ssy that belongs to HIM.

  33. Elizabeth Rose says:

    OK, I just feel icky for even having read this post. Can’t. Get. Clean.

  34. gefeylich says:

    Whoa. From one mega-douche to another (but maybe Cook won’t beat her up?)! RiRi has absolutely the WORST taste in men.

    Now all she has to do is hook up with John Mayer and her Trifecta of Douchiness will be complete. Go for it, RiRi, you nutjob, you.

  35. Jade says:

    “The only thing she likes more than male attention is drama.” She should start flirting with John Mayer and Justin Theroux. Mission accomplished.

  36. Str8Shooter says:

    Wow, she must REALLY have a thing for douchebags!!!

  37. silly you says:

    god, she is such a loser.