Benedict Cumberbatch: ‘I’d love to transform my body into a ridiculous war machine’

So many Benedict Cumberbatch stories, so little time. The press tour for Star Trek Into Darkness is really heating up, so hopefully we can expect Cumby stories nearly every day for the next two weeks or so. Hopefully! I know some of you think he’s an unsexy lizard – which is fine because that means more ‘Batch for me – but you’ll just have to take deep breaths from here on out. The Lizard King is coming. And he loves to talk! Here are some bullet points for what’s happening on or around Cumby:

*He’s going to be on The Late Show a week from today, on May 9th. IT WILL BE AMAZING.

*He covers the new issue of the UK publication “TV Magazine”. In the magazine, he says: “Star Trek is, to all intents and purposes, an action movie as much as it is a sci-fi drama, so that involved a hell of a lot of training and long hours. I had to put weight on, so I’d eat 4,000 calories a day. I went up four suit sizes at one point – it was hard work but a lot of fun. I’d love to transform my body into some ridiculous war machine. I want to run around a desert shooting guns at aliens and looking as if I barely have to take a breath. I would love to do all that s***. I definitely want my Daniel Craig moment!”

*Cumby on Sherlock’s resurrection: “You’re in for an absolute stonker of a resurrection [after the ‘death’ of Sherlock last series]. It’s going to be a treat…”

*Cumby’s biggest concern for Star Trek? His hair! He said: “Which way to do my hair was the hardest thing really. Straight or curly, long with bangs or a ponytail… or maybe no hair.”

*On playing a terrorist: “One man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter. I think there’s an ability to empathise with his cause, but maybe not his means to getting his ends. There’s a lot of motivation and reasoning behind what he does. He has a moral core, he just has a method which is pretty brutal and abhorrent. It was a beautiful thing to be asked to play – this sliding scale of someone who could be trustworthy and understandable and also somebody who could be out and out on a mission of revenge. That was one of the brilliant balances that were achieved in the script, that you… should be able to move between abhorring him and feeling something for him.”

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

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98 Responses to “Benedict Cumberbatch: ‘I’d love to transform my body into a ridiculous war machine’”

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  1. Agnes says:

    Yes! Thank you Kaiser! There is no such thing as too much ‘Batch :D I can’t wait for the pics from the London premiere

  2. Eve says:

    I read “I’d love to transform my body into some ridiculous SEX machine”.

    My bad.

  3. Amelia says:

    Oh Cumberbatch . . . Little do you know that you already *are* a ridiculous war machine.
    In the bedroom.
    5:30pm sharp behind the tapestries, yeah?
    Good. Now to finish customs paperwork then off to my weekly tryst in archives.

    • T.Fanty says:

      Okay, but you have to be done with him by 9pm. That’ll give me time to go to the gym and limber up.

    • Amelia says:

      No worries, T.Fanty, it’s going to have to be a quickie this week; my flexibility is somewhat lacking at the moment and there are wealthy benefactors that need to be sucked up to this evening.
      My LBD is taunting me.
      At least there will be booze and a view. Ah, sky bars. At least when things get too boring I’ll have something to throw myself off.

      • T.Fanty says:

        Okay, C&C: I can be quick, too. My arm is tired from a week of TommyAnnE spanking. And I was up all night after that, trying to cajole the dragonflies back onto his loincloth. I’m shot.

        @Amelia: throwing yourself off? I hope you have the Cumby harness and umbrella handy? If not, I’m sure Miss Jane can whip you one up in a jiffy.

      • j.eyre says:

        Sorry – should the harness include an umbrella? I am cutting patterns and want to make sure I understand the dimensions properly.

      • T.Fanty says:

        I think that would be best. You are sending it to London, after all.

      • EscapedConvent says:

        Hahaha! I’m just reading all the comments from this post (late) & it is painfully obvious why Cumby looks like death re-heated at the STD (intentional typo) premiere.

        When is this poor man supposed to sleep? Amelia has him at 5:30, Fanty needs him by 9, & Crumpets has claimed him until the wee hours. Excuse the hell out of me, ladies, but when are Eve & I going to get our turns?

    • Eve says:

      Why do you bitches keep doing this to me? I do my best to shank you all in the NICEST way possible and this what I get back…

      My god, Hiddleston…for the love of everything that is sacred, please get back on track so these horny floozies can jump back on your bandwagon — it’s getting f*cking crowded here in the Cumby train!!!

      • Amelia says:

        I have *an* umbrella, one which I like to think has Mary Poppins qualities woven into its £2.50 plastic loveliness, but I’m probably going to need to borrow J.Eyre’s. The poor thing collapses at the slightest hint of wind.
        Eve, have you seen Sherlock yet, out of interest?

      • Eve says:

        Watched “A Study in Pink” (both versions) and “The Blind Banker” :D .

        Yes, I almost licked the screen.

        P.S.: Have all the episodes with me. I plan to watch the rest…sparsely (will try, not sure if I’ll be able to).

      • Agnes says:

        If you almost licked the screen during “A Study in Pink” and “The Blind Banker”, you will definitely do it during “A Scandal in Belgravia” :D

      • Eve says:

        @ Agnes:

        Yeah, I suspect that will happen (I’ve seen the .gifs).

        The man has lower back dimples…*drools*

      • Amelia says:

        I fear A Scandal in Belgravia might very well suck Eve into the screen, never to be seen or heard of again.
        Because she’ll be doing Sherlock all the time.

      • EscapedConvent says:


        I’m so glad you finally got to see him as Sherlock! But I am a little worried for you (& for Lara Pulver) after you’ve watched A Scandal in Belgravia. Irene Adler is a pretty scary bitch with a riding crop, & with her whip & your shanks….well, I will be staying downstairs in the drawing room with the hedgehogs. I’ll stay out of the way.

        Isn’t it funny that the first time we see Sherlock (in A Study in Pink) he’s wailing on that poor corpse with a riding crop? He seemed to be a little bit too happy during that scene.

        Scandal in Belgravia has turned into one of my favorite things. I have watched it more than the other episodes. It’s so well done–I think it’s one of the best hours of TV I’ve ever seen.

        And I would ~so~ like Sherlock to “take my pulse.” You’ll recognize this when you see it—do report back!

      • Eve says:

        @ EsCon:

        Have you watched the unaired pilot? The scene featuring the woman in pink is slightly different — he keeps sniffing her hands and…and…is it weird that I found that kinda sexy?

        Also, LOVED this line:

        “I think I left my riding crop in the mortuary.”

      • EscapedConvent says:


        Yeah, I did see the pilot some time after the episode. I liked it. Sherlock didn’t seem to be as cranky in the pilot, but I don’t mind him cranky.

        No, that’s not weird! I think if the Pink Lady had been alive, she would have thought it was sex-ay too!

        The bit with the riding crop makes me laugh every time. Also, poor Molly Hooper! She screws up her nerve to ask him if he’ll have coffee with her, & he replies as if she is a waitress taking his order in a coffee shop.

        There’s some great stuff awaiting you in the other episodes. I’m glad that now we’ll be able to talk with you about Sherlock, while dodging your shanks. ;-)

      • T.Fanty says:

        Chiming in to say the scene with Molly is possibly my favourite bit. Especially when she takes her lipstick off and Sherlock notices that her mouth “is all small now.”

      • Eve says:

        @ EsCon and T.Fanty:

        Poor Molly…I actually felt sorry for her. Sherlock is such an unapologetic, judgemental bitch! My god, he’s worse than me!!!

        And the motherf*cker totally used the poor girl in The Blind Banker — knowing she had a crush on him, he complimented her so she would grant him access to those corpses.

      • andrea says:

        EsCon and Eve… I felt that Sherlock was more charming in the pilot. And his look/demeanor was a little more normal (?) as well. I think they pushed his character to be a bit more obnoxious, and odd-looking, for the regular run 1st episode to play up his character development opposite Watson.

        To be honest, the first time I saw Sherlock, I had an urge to reach into the screen and smack him. Not hard, just a little tap. I didn’t really like him until the very end of the 1st episode. But now, when I rewatch the show, I just think he’s lovably eccentric. I guess the show’s given me a higher tolerance for sociopaths.

  4. T.Fanty says:

    Kaiser, are we allowed to include the link to this interview? He’s SO DAMN HOT!

    Shank away, Eve. I’m readying the hedgehog army of doom.

    • V4Real says:

      I do want to see this movie but don’t worry Eve it’s not because of your man (well maybe but it’s only to hear him talk)I just happened to like the first one.

    • T.Fanty says:

      He’s in NYC next week. So if you see any pictures of a sluttily-dressed woman walking around with a butterfly net and waving a ginger baby in the air, while quoting Kirkegaard, that’ll be me. I’m also planning on leaving a trail of hedgehogs around the city, that lead to my front door, so tread lightly.

      • j.eyre says:

        Please, stick to the Proust. the hedgehogs get so irascible when you start in on the Kirkegaard – it will be positively unmanageable.

        And I forbid you from wearing the Dragonfly dress while luring Cumby anymore. It’s just wrong.

        (well, obviously I don’t forbid it – that would be too rude of me. But I might just stamp my foot)

      • T.Fanty says:

        Rats. My secret plan was to wear the dragonfly dress, and slip a little Shakespeare in there, to see if I could get both of them at once.

      • EscapedConvent says:


        Seeing a perplexed yet indignant ginger baby perched on your shoulders & clinging for her very life will make his Letterman appearance even more (ginger) hair-raising.

        Matter of fact, if the Fantling doesn’t mind being abandoned for an hour or two, turning her loose while Cumby is backstage or even onstage will give you a perfect chance to snag him with the net. You know he wouldn’t just stroll past a lost ginger baby without stopping to comfort her & read the Little Red Hen to cheer her up.

        Opportunity is knocking your door down, Fanty. Carpe Cumbybatch! Your Hedgehog Sisters are with you.

      • T.Fanty says:

        I was going to slightly worry about the stray Fantling, but then I realize that all I need to do is net Cumby. He’ll be clutching her; the problem will be getting her out of his hands after I’ve made him submit to my will. I suspect that he’s already reading this, cackling, and making up a fake passport for the little ginger monkey.

        That said, if you hop on your Vespa now, you might be able to make it to NYC by May 9th!

      • j.eyre says:

        EsCon, darling – from whence did you come? I had not seen you here earlier – did Fanty offer tea?

        I was at a church meeting where they actually offered me to role of Sunday School director. Let’s all just sit with that a minute, shall we? (SPOILER – I turned them down, once I stopped laughing)

        Anyway, fret not for the stray Fantling, I have given her a map of Bergdorf’s and taught her to say “charge it to Daddy” with enough authority that she will be well looked after while Fanty attends to her prey. I am far more concerned with the hedgehogs – we all know what happened last time. And I can not keep deploying the dragonflies to bring them in. They have enough troubles with the Poms.

      • EscapedConvent says:

        Hello, Cumbites. I was here briefly, Miss Eyre, but my stone tablet & chisel crashed & did the blue screen dance of death this afternoon. This was caused by the discussion of Star Trek, I’m pretty sure. Cumby did say in an interview that he was putting out a weird force-field that was scrambling technology hither & yon.

        @Amelia, I just saw the problem with your umbrella. When you mentioned the poor thing collapsing at the slightest wind, were you referring to the umbrella itself, or Miss Eyre?


        I am planning to be there by 9 May. I feel I should be there for ginger baby back-up. I am warming up the Vespa right now, & the hedgehogs are throwing little spiky hedgehog fits because New York City makes them anxious & they don’t want to go. I may have to deal with PETA if I insist on bringing them.

        @Miss Eyre,

        Well. I know you’ve given it your very best efforts, but this menagerie of yours is starting to get away from you. Do you really have time in your shed-yule for the hedgehogs, dragonflies AND the Pomeranians? I’m relieved to hear that you declined the Sunday School directorship; I just don’t see how you can take on any more responsibilities. And was this the same Reverend making the offer, who only last week expressed concern that you were giving the children instructions on how to tailor a Voodoo Kit for their specific needs? He didn’t seem to understand that posters of Norse brother/gods do indeed have a place at Sunday School.

  5. MissMary says:

    Love me some Cumby but that’s a rehash of an old interview. Blah.

  6. betsy says:

    That interview was done in early 2012 so the Sun are telling fibs.

    new video interview

  7. SuperSteph says:

    Am I the only one who doesn’t find this man attractive whatsoever? With all due respect, he looks a bit like he has special needs – the eyes are too far apart and that nose is disproportionate. I’m sure he is a lovely gentleman but, in my humble opinion, he is NOT HOT!!!

  8. Apples says:

    God I love his uncommon beauty and sex god voice. So happy he is an enabler to my obsession by being good at giving interesting quotes.

  9. Miss M says:

    “Which way to do my hair was the hardest thing really. Straight or curly, long with bangs or a ponytail… or maybe no hair.”

    What did I say in the other thread? The male version of Jennifer Aniston. The Cumbiston! Hahahahaha

    “I’d love to transform my body into some ridiculous war machine.” That would be easy… I, for one, I’d love if you could go away for 5 seconds.

    • T.Fanty says:

      Really? Gerard Butler is okay, but THIS you’re getting snooty over? *coughnolegtostandoncough*

      (On the upside; no babies or posh talk!)

      • Miss M says:

        My Gerry can be entertaining. Besides, I haven’t placed him back on my f* list. He i just back on “my fave Hollywod douches’ list”.

        Cumbiston is soooooo exhausting…

        ps: can you deny he sounds like JA? Can you?! :)

      • T.Fanty says:

        You can’t see me, but I am scowling at you.

      • Eve says:

        @ Miss M:

        Nope, he does not sound like that waste of space. That quote seemed like a genuine concern over the character’s “construction” (so to speak) — you know how nitpicky Star Trek nerds are.

        But for the sake of argumentation, let’s say he did…in the end, it’s still his talent that speaks volumes, not his hair — unlike Anuston (a typo but it stays), who practically has nothing else to rely on.

      • T.Fanty says:

        *peeps around from behind Eve’s skirts and pokes my tongue out*

      • Miss M says:

        @T.Fanty: even if I saw your scowling, I would still maintain my opinion, :)

        @Eve: “But for the sake of argumentation, let’s say he did…” you are always so generous and so Polyannish these days… Cumbiston Cumbiston Cumbiston. When JA started people thought she was talented… He needs many years yet to prove his talent. Just saying…

        ps: Comparisons aside… I can’t wait to see him as Sherlock!

      • Eve says:

        @ Miss M:

        Stop trolling: the comparison is unfair and you know it! Plus, how contradictory is that you think he has yet to prove his talent but you can’t wait to see him as Sherlock? That right there is an admission on his talent.

        Also, you have Gerard Butler on your crush/f*ck list — your argument is invalid.

      • Miss M says:

        One character only (not that he is, I am pointing out I like only one of the characters they played).
        Cumby –> Sherlock
        Aniston –> Rachel.

        You are insisting they are different on the basis of talent, which I never called this out before. He sounds like her, whines like her, and annoys me like her (lately). Sherlock is another story.

        ps: reread my post. Gerry is neither in my f* list nor a crush. He is my crash who happens to be on my “fave HW douches’ list. Totally different.

      • Eve says:

        @ Miss M:

        It’s unfair. He’s neither vapid nor stupid like her (the woman can barely form coherent sentences during interviews). He may have talked about his hair a couple of times, but that’s not THE ONLY THING he talks about.

        Plus, she almost never changes her hair/appearance — it’s like she’s allergic to changes of any kind (both in her personal life and career). A quick look into Cumberbatch’s résumé and you have to wonder how he still has any hair left (due to all that hair dying).

        Honestly, I understand your annoyance with him lately. But comparing him to Anuston (not a type this time) is a stretch.

      • Miss M says:

        @Eve: How do you know Mr.”I am upper class” is not vapid? Not trolling, I am calling on a trait he has that you don’t like it. If (And only IF) he proves (in the distant future) that I am wrong, I will apologize to you, my dear Eve! :)
        This b*tch ain’t the sexiest British out there! *holding a grudge over this ridiculous title*

      • Eve says:

        Oh, I see…come on now, it’s not his fault he was chosen!

        I’m terribly attracted to him and I still took that title with grain of salt — I take ALL these “sexiest/hottest/most beautiful” titles with a grain of salt (even if I agree with them to a certain degree).

        P.S.: From his interviews I never saw his as vapid. Taking the “I’m upper class” as a vapid comment is your right — I just disagree with you because it sounds more obnoxious than actually vapid to me. It is, however, a correct observation about his status. He IS “upper middle class” (that was his actual quote, by the way — in fact, he started by saying he was “definitely middle class”, than changed to “Ok, maybe I’m upper middle class”).

      • Miss M says:

        All right…. to be fair he is just Mr. back pedaling, :)

    • EscapedConvent says:

      Well, I’m just glad to see him acknowledging that his entire career is based on his hair.

      We wants those curls! We wants them!

      EDIT: This comment was meant to appear way up there! Closer to where Miss M said that Cumby was only concerned about his hair &was clearly the next Jennifer Aniston.

  10. Latisse says:


  11. INeedANap says:

    His description of terrorists slightly decreased my lady boner for him. It shows his privilege, and the over-use of cultural relativism — if your “goal”, your “aim” is to reduce the freedom of others or bring pain and suffering then no. You are not worthy of empathy.

    I wish we as a culture would feel comfortable saying flat-out NO to some people.

    • T.Fanty says:

      But it’s a matter of perspective, though, right? That’s his point. There are a LOT of people who consider the invasion of Iraq an act of terrorism. I know people who condemn 9/11 yet continue to support the IRA. It’s all about where you stand and what you’re willing to risk. Doesn’t make those decisions good ones, but they’re coming from an ideological standpoint, and as an actor he’s trying to connect to that.

    • Crumpets and Crotchshots says:

      I think to play a role, you really do need have empathy for the character, to understand their humanity and their motives. You have to be able to see their point of view– this doesn’t mean you have to share it, but you do need to recognize that they do have a point of view and be willing to step into it.

      This is what makes acting difficult, and why so many talented actors relish the opportunity to play the villain. The inherent challenges are irresistible.

      I also get what he is saying about terrorists vs freedom fighters. You should read up on the British point of view on the American Revolution; it’s very different from what you were taught in civics class in 5th grade.

      • T.Fanty says:

        Yeah, you people were WAY out of line in 1776. I’m still not entirely happy about the way that panned out.

      • Crumpets and Crotchshots says:

        Bloody colonials.

        The Boston Massacre is a perfect example.

      • INeedANap says:

        I appreciate the examples given, but I would like to clarify that I am not giving knee-jerk reactions. I am well aware that different countries have different perspectives of the way the US fights wars. Speaking of suggested reading material, I encourage you to read up on how Vietnam thinks the Vietnam War was mostly about and against China. Also, my family is Cuban and my grandparents were freedom fighters there who were considered enemies of the state by Castro’s regime. I am not uneducated.

        In this case, I am thinking more of one-off murderers who go on shooting sprees, like the Sandy Hook killer and that guy who shot up a bunch of women in Ecole Polytechnique. They have their manifestos and I feel very comfortable saying that they are full of sh*t.

  12. T.Fanty says:

    This is my favorite story from the whole Start Trek press deluge. I notice Mr. “My Body is a Machine” isn’t telling this one too frequently:

  13. grabbyhands says:

    HE-LO lovely cheekbones!

  14. andrea says:

    *sigh* I just wish he photographed better, y’know? Well, I’m just happy he’s finally joined the press tour. Can’t wait to see him on Graham Norton.

  15. mythrasun says:

    Anytime there is a new “batch” (hehe) of pictures and articles on Celebitchy, its going to be a good day

  16. Anna says:

    Although my interest in Cumby is passing and mostly academic in terms of verifying his claims of sexual prowess, I do love every single post about him because COMMENTS. It’s the vortex of glorious insanity :)

  17. Trashaddict says:

    For those of you who don’t find him attractive, you might perhaps watch his love scenes in “The Last Enemy”. Not major testosterone there, but he is pretty intense. Swoon.

  18. onegirlup says:

    Those piercing eyes… I can’t look away, I don’t want to. His shoulders, his arms, I want all of him… That deep sultry sexy voice calls to me. The sweet tousled curls of tender innocent boi-locks cascade onto his forehead… leading me back to his steady piercing gaze.. come to me …. come… I can hardly take it!! but I will take it and take it and take it and take it… I’ve been BATCHED! and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
    Giddy up!!!!