Lately Britney seems like a sad sack who can’t keep a man. At first everyone was championing Britney for surprising freeloading K-Fed with divorce papers on election day. After Britney showed us all her c-section scar and was seen out partying for months at a time with questionable company, K-Fed’s character seemed spotless in comparison. Throw in a Superbowl commercial in which the best minds in marketing manage to make him look humble and like a good rapper, and he’s definitely ahead in the battle for public opinion and perhaps child custody.

People say model Isaac Cohen left Britney after a few weeks due to drama and pressure too early in the relationship. Isaac gave an interview to British tabloid News of the World in which he describes Britney as an insecure person who loves sex and cannot stand to face the reality of her life. He said she was miserable and asked him over and over if she was fat. He also said she has her wedding dress framed and hanging on a wall in her bedroom at home and is not moving on with her life after K-Fed.

In last week’s National Enquirer they reported that Britney had a meeting with K-Fed at her place and told him she’d give him a huge chunk of cash in exchange for getting back with her. They say she’s miserable without him and begged him to take her growing ass back. (I wanted to report it earlier, but was scrambling to get ready for my trip.)

“Britney begged Kevin to come back to her,” a source told The Enquirer.

“She told him, ‘I love you, I want you back, I’m so sorry.’ She’s offered him money, includind signing over all the proceeds from the sale of their $13.5 million Malibu mansion, plus unlimited access to her fortune, if he’ll be her man again.

[From The National Enquirer print edition, February 12, 2007]

They also claim the Britney said she’d stop partying and get outpatient treatment for her drinking problem if Kevin would go to counselling with her. She wants him to move back in with her, and says she’ll let his kids with Shar come over more often and will help finance his mother’s retirement.

K-Fed was said to be considering her offer, and his supposed buddy told the Enquirer “‘Kevin believes Britney will give him $10 million up front just to reconcile. He might get more in a divorce, but he feels that by staying married to Britney, he’ll keep his boys close.’”

If these two do get back together, Britney is said to be planning an interview to announce that they’re giving their doomed marriage another try for the tabloids’ sake.

Now The Enquirer is saying that Britney had sympathy sex with K-Fed in early December after they were already broken up, and that of course they didn’t use protection. She supposedly told him she thought she was pregnant yet again, but that it turned out just to be a scare or a revenge tactic. She wasn’t really pregnant, and K-Fed told her it probably wasn’t his, anyway:

“Britney told Kevin she might be with child number 3, Kevin just said ‘So, if you’re pregnant, it’s not mine!’” revealed a source.

The fighting Federlines had reunited for one night and had sex just after her December 2 birthday, said the source…

But soon after that torrid evening, it became clear to Britney that Kevin was interested only in the kids, divulged the source.

Feeling spurned, she stopped taking his calls. Kevin never saw the boys for the Christmas holidays despite leaving numerous messages for Britney.

The two didn’t talk again until after New Year’s…

No longer able to hold time with the kids over Kevin’s head, the insider believes that she pinned her hopes on the pregnancy scare to lure him back.

Instead, it had the opposite effect…

Kevin believes Britney didn’t use birth control when sleeping with other men, either. And because he believes she’s had so much sex without protection, he told her he’ll never sleep with her again, according to the source.

I’m not sure I buy the Enquirer’s stories about Britney, because their sources seem to be K-Fed’s buddies or PR team that works for pot or whomever. It could be true that Britney told him she thought she was pregnant, but it’s just as likely that they’re trying to smear her.

Assuming all this garbage is true, it looks like K-Fed was considering getting back with Britney and that his love of bling and custom cars might have been the achilles heel she tried to exploit by dangling a bunch of cash in front of him. She ruined her chances, though, by telling him she could be pregnant after they’d only had sex once.

It’s also possible that these stories conflict and that one person is saying she tried to get him back by pretending to be pregnant and another is saying she used her fortune to lure him. Either way, she’s still a sad sap.