Justin Theroux did something weird & amazing with Velcro to avoid parking tickets

Just how cheap is Justin Theroux? Well, he’s engaged to Jennifer Aniston. *rimshot* Seriously though, Justin is so cheap that he figured out a sort of ingenious, mad-scientist plot to avoid parking tickets in NYC. Because his lady’s SmartWater money only goes so far, I suppose, and mama doesn’t pay his tickets, so Justin had to figure out a way to avoid them altogether. Just to be clear, I’m sure dozens of you are going to start yelling “OMG, you’ve never heard of that? My boyfriend/cousin/best friend’s uncle does that, you are so stupid!” But I’ve never heard of this before.

Jennifer Aniston’s fiancé Justin Theroux may have plenty of dough, but The Enquirer caught him pulling off a sleazy trick to park in NYC with no fear of getting a costly ticket. The 42-year-old has apparently rigged up a Velcro-attatched license plate for his pricey Ducati motorcycle that he can take with him so cops can’t give him a parking ticket.

NYPD authorities say that Justin’s ruse allows him to avoid tickets, but they can’t do anything about it. Without a plate, the bike is considered abandoned and can’t be towed by the cops. And while the Department of Sanitation can haul it away if it’s on public property, that can take up to three business days.

Justin drove off scot-free after putting the plate back on the bike. Meanwhile, a car parked in the same area did get a ticket, which typically costs more than $100.

“Justin has been living in New York City for more than 15 years… he clearly knows his way around the parking laws.”

[From The Enquirer, print edition]

It’s sort of ingenious, right? They can’t give you a ticket if they don’t have your license plate, and you can’t drive without a license plate, so you just rig it up with Velcro. Of course, the wheels could very easily come off of this scheme. For one, Velcro isn’t perfect. I can totally see how the license plate might fall off and then Justin would get a moving violation for driving without his plates. The better plate-fail would be for some enterprising traffic cop to “boot/clamp” his motorcycle. You know, to put one of those “boots” on the wheels. That would be awesome.

Old-school fill in the blank game! Justin Theroux is so cheap, he _____________.

PS… or he could just put orange cones around his parking space, right?

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

 

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109 Responses to “Justin Theroux did something weird & amazing with Velcro to avoid parking tickets”

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  1. truthSF says:

    …he gave up his dignity for Aniston’s money and fame.

    Do they have those plates available for cars too?

  2. Andrew says:

    My friends have done some weird things to get out of parking tickets. One had a roll out mat that had stripes on it to create his own spot. I saw this on YouTube as well.

    Side note: I’d let him do me instantly…I don’t care if he’s married to the Anniston lol

  3. Justin's Wallet says:

    Dude needs to step up and act like a successful man instead of a struggling uni student. Embarrassing.

  4. j.eyre says:

    Justin Theroux is so cheap, he won’t even pay for a full punchli…

  5. lucy2 says:

    Whoever came up with it is clever, but I wonder if it creates extra headaches for whoever has to call the bikes in to sanitation, etc.
    How about just parking where it’s legal?

  6. Queequeg says:

    Justin Theroux is so cheap he swims in denim shorts rather than buy a pair of bathers …

  7. Susei says:

    he is such a poser. Look how he´s dressed for driving his motorcycle. Posing for the paps, nothing more.

    • epiphany says:

      +1. Pretentious bore. He strikes me as the type that’s constantly correcting pronunciation and grammar – ” Justin, your helmet is in the foyer” – “no dahling, it’s not foyER, its foyAY.” And any NYU grad student knows that trick.

      • strawberryfields says:

        Actually, if you want to pronounce it the French way, it would be more of a FWA-yay. Saying Foy-YAY is for people who are snobs about French without knowing the language at all.

        I love correcting people who try and correct me when I use the good old fashioned Foy-er. The look on their faces is priceless.

      • Virgilia Coriolanus says:

        I still don’t understand why he’s considered to be this great intellectual? Is it because he’s a hipster, wears leather, and rides a motorcycle in NY?

        Because I can’t see it in his film choices or his writing. His biggest claim to fame is playing the hot, crazy, musclely guy i.e. #HOTBLONDEWITHBIGBOOBS, in women roles. The movie he and Jennifer met wasn’t this amazing comedy or gripping drama–the role didn’t look like he had to stretch himself (unless not to cry with how awful it was)

        Don’t get it, at all. I’m not saying he’s stupid or anything, but he’s not an intellectual.

      • epiphany says:

        I’m pretty sure he’s the only who considers himself an intellectual, but that’s relative, especially when compared to Aniston. You have to admit, he’s the brain trust in that relationship.

    • Liberty says:

      @Virgilia – look up his relatives, Louis or Paul Theroux, or Marcel, and their work. That is why.

      As Uncle Tiny Nunzio used to say, sometimes the apple falls off the tree and rolls under a car.

  8. Josephine says:

    This bugs me; I know everyone hates to pay for parking and worse yet to pay for a ticket, but he needs to be a man and do the right thing. Not a fan of people who think that the rules are for everyone but them, especially a loser like this with all the money in the world but no class. Wonder what he’s doing with his taxes…

  9. starsandstripes says:

    Lots of people do this in the city to prevent their license plate from being stolen, not necessarily to avoid parking tickets. It costs money every year to get your validation sticker, so plates are stolen with new validation stickers by people who do not want to pay. I suspect that is the reason why Justin uses the velcro plate

  10. Cazzee says:

    Looks like he’s parking illegally, not just parking in a legal spot without a plate.

  11. The Original G says:

    It never ceases to amaze me how dull Just Jen gossip is. Why bother with these stories at all?

  12. Serenitynow says:

    I prefer his cousin Louis. His documentaries rock.

    • Denise says:

      I thought you were joking about them being cousins but looked it up – had no idea! Yes, Louis is the one who is actually cool. I think they pronounce their last names differently though, or at least the public do, I’ve noticed here in the UK it’s ‘Ther-ew’ and in the US it’s Ther-oh?

  13. Mickeyboy says:

    So is he purposely parking in illegal spaces? What a d-bag.

    Justin Theroux is so cheap… Karma’s gonna get him for free.

  14. hadleyb says:

    NY doesn’t require a tag on the bike as well as a license plate? I know we have to have a tag as well from the city so if they do they can ID him from that.

    The bike should also have another ID number on that if the cops want to they can call in and get the info. Unless they are that lazy?

    Sounds like he doesn’t want his sticker stolen.

  15. TheOriginalKitten says:

    I’d take a BMW s1000 RR over a Ducati any day of the week.

    Also, that helmet is ridiculous.

    • Mitch Buchanan Rocks! says:

      You said it! It looks like that thing he is riding would be one of those noisy ones. Real bikers wear real helmets (fullface) and ride the highways – panty ass poseurs wear beannie hats and ride through neighborhoods.

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        Ducatis get really, REALLY hot and they STINK–so much exhaust comes out of those things.

        And ITA about those stupid beanie helmets. As a passenger, I wear a FULL-face helmet as does my BF, unless he’s in one of the states with no helmet laws. I still wear mine though because I’m a ‘fraidy cat ;)

      • Mitch Buchanan Rocks! says:

        Even if I was going through the desert I’d wear full leathers and a full faced helmet – got thrown off (my bf at the time was going too fast and hit some oil – it had just rained after a long sunny period) and wearing the protective gear saved me. I slid down the highway for what seemed like a long time and was fortunate that there were no cars otherwise I’d have been toast. I only got a little scrape on my arm – the leathers and helmet took the full brunt. Encourage your Bf to wear a full faced helmet all the time.

      • TheOriginalKitten says:

        Holy sh*t…that is so scary.

        That’s something I only think about when I’m NOT on the bike, but I definitely have thought about what would happen if I fell off. His jacket has plating and armor but I just wear a little leather Kors jacket that doesn’t offer any real protection. Thanks for the advice (I promise to yell at him later) and I’m just glad you were ok!

      • Virgilia Coriolanus says:

        I hear you all on that one…not that I’m ever going on a motorcycle.

        My teacher got into a motorcycle accident, when her boyfriend/husband swerved to avoid hitting a deer–she wasn’t wear a full face cover (but she covered it with her hand when they crashed), because it was boiling outside.

        Their friend was right behind them–when he saw her, he thought she was dead because her entire face was bloody–her top lip was completely gone–there were pieces of it on her arm, and she almost got a toe ripped off because she was wearing flip flops (guess who didn’t do that again?)–she said the doctor spent two hours restitching her lip back together, and she said besides some numbness in her bottom lip, it’s all fine. It doesn’t even look like it was stitched together.

      • Robi says:

        Nobody would notice him with a full helmet. It’s clear he calls the papz, these pics are so staged…
        Anyway, it doesn’t matter how hard he’s trying, he is not going to happen as an actor.

    • Havik says:

      When I was learning to ride, my father was adamant about safety gear. I wasn’t allowed on without full-face helmet, gloves, boots, leathers & back protector- and that was the minimum!
      He was only ever in one wreck (post children, that is) when he got hit by a man making an illegal u-turn. Thankfully he was wearing full kit, so he escaped with some damage to his legs and ribs, but he’s alive.
      I always draw the parallel with professional motorcycle racers; they have the best gear, access to the best medical care available (not to mention racing is far safer than riding on the street), and they can still wind up mangled or dead.
      …this turned into more of a rant than I meant it to be, but I see people like Justin out on the streets all the time with their brain-bowl helmets and it drives me crazy!

      • Kenzie says:

        Agree x100 about the motorcycle gear. My dad got hit riding his motorcycle two days ago, he managed to drop his bike before to much damage was done but he fell and went sliding. His gear saved him. Only a few scratches and a bruises hip bond thankfully.

    • Jag says:

      Y’all please be careful, especially after a rain – even in a car. My father accelerated in his Corvette after a light change and as he went around the corner, the car hydroplaned on the oil that had been brought up by a light rain. He ended up only slamming into the curb, so was quite blessed to only exacerbate an old whiplash injury and the car wasn’t totaled. Had the curb not been there, though, he would’ve either ended up on the highway or in a small ravine beside it.

  16. Sal says:

    What a stingy selfish asshole! Not that I’m surprised.

  17. MsGoblin says:

    The riders in “Sons of Anarchy” have nothing to fear with this guy.

  18. Jennifer12 says:

    Oh, sweetie. Just ask your fiancée for the money.

  19. jessica says:

    I can see how someone would be driven to do this just based on the relentless trolling of parking enforcement in major cities.

  20. Ashley says:

    OMG, I can’t stand cheap guys….drive a damn BMW and park it where ever your heart pleases (except for emergency vehicle and handicap dedicated spots) & pay the damn fine. live your life like a real rich person, not like a cheapo who wants to mingle with posh.

    • anne_000 says:

      I can’t stand monied ppl doing tacky stuff that the rest of society can’t do, just to save a few bucks and/or make it more convenient for themselves at the same time inconveniencing others.

      If the NYPD thinks Justin’s bike deserves a ticket, that means he’s either parking at illegal spaces or he’s not feeding the meter. Cheap, tacky, false feelings of entitlement.

      • Lady D says:

        I had to park 1/2 block from work one day because some dude had his brand new truck taking up 2 parking spots. He said he didn’t want it scratched. I gently suggested that perhaps next time he buy something a little cheaper and invest in parking lessons. He was not amused. (I was)

  21. MAC says:

    It’s sort of ingenious, right?
    No it is criminal

  22. Liberty says:

    JA: …so whatcha doin’?

    JT: Exercising principles of the Enlightenment ideals as a son of nations and native New Yorker by approaching the culture of city law poised against the citizenry as a form of rightful rebellion when applied via the Révolution française! In particular, utilizing an anti-Jacobian form of protest: the Velcro strip, while I enjoy a chilito and a shake. What about you, my babe?

    JA: ….my tan is peeling!

    JT: That is so raw, my babe. Get Uncle Terry to photograph you. It would be like, magnificently fourth dimension and a hot-wired uber-opposite statement! Have him draw treadmarks on your face. It can cover my moto-poems book!

    JA: !!! – - I have an Aveeno contract, my helmetful of heaving post-coital air! This is serious! I have Swiss people coming over! My roots are starting too so I’m in the safe room until people get here. I can’t even look in a mirror! No wonder I didn’t get the Anastasia Steele part! I did that damned stripper movie for like nothing! And now I am hideously disfigured for like four more hours!

    JT: Remember when my thigh necklace left that white spot in my tan and I had to wear jean shorts in Cabo last year?

    JA: Don’t diminish what I am going through! I can’t breathe! Tell me stuff to take like my mind off what’s happening to me! What else is going on?

    JT: Well, okay, I’m still doing my fall style shopping today. I’m riding over to Halfaman Pants of Hackensack next. Then I am going out with the guys to talk about my “Napoleon of NYC” script and –

    JA: — I will play Josephine only if you shoot in LA by the house, where my juicer girl is, don’t forget to tell them!

    JT: Actually, my babe, Ben suggested Manhattan because of the street shots, and he meant Jennifer Lawrence, she has that awesome f-off style, cool, looser and she can sing with Russell Brand and she’s so hot now and —

    JA: Cut up the cards.

    JT: What? I can’t hear you. Gotta run, here comes a cop. God, Velcro in September in New York, riding free like a teen wolf, chased by the Man, I feel alive again!! This calls for a cupcake, the ones near the ring shop, I think!

    • mimifarrow says:

      JT: Remember when my thigh necklace left that white spot in my tan and I had to wear jean shorts in Cabo last year?

      I’m dyinggg, Liberty you are the best. :D

    • Jospehina says:

      Tee hee!!!

      My favorite (and there MANY in this one)is:

      “… I’m riding over to Halfaman Pants of Hackensack next. Then I am going out with the guys to talk about my “Napoleon of NYC” script…”

      Napoleon of NYC— priceless!!!!

      I hope you don’t mind if I repost elsehwere, Liberty. I gotta spread the love.

    • Virgilia Coriolanus says:

      I see you’re not going soft in your old age, Liberty.

      Keep ‘em coming.

      I hope you have a special wedding edition, for when these two crazy kids get hitched..

      • Liberty says:

        Hahaha I suppose I’ll have to think of something special if that ever happens. You and I can combine efforts for a Marriage Spectacular. You take Vows and March and Gown/Bikini. I will take Circuses?

      • Virgilia Coriolanus says:

        Well I came up with a little something on how Jennifer “finds” her vows—but it’s not as funny as your little ditty above.

        Scene:GOOP, BOUND TO A CHAIR IN A DARK ROOM WITH A SINGLE SWINGING LIGHT BULB
        GP: Where-where am I! I demand to know what is going on! And I won’t talk to any peasants either, so don’t waste your breath! Oh my God! TV Girl! I knew it! You let me go or I’ll–. Oh my Lord, get that carb out of my face!

        JA (waves piece of bread): We can do this the easy way, or the hard way GOOP. Which way is it gonna be?

        GP: What do you want, TV Girl? Just tell me so I can get out of here–my kale-lentil smoothie is getting warm temperature.

        JA: Give me what I want and I’ll let you go.

        GP: My body? Because, TV Girl, all you need to do is subscribe to my latest GOOP newsletter—.

        JA: I don’t want your damn newsletter! I want your vows!

        GP: My vows? What are you—?

        JA: THAT WOMAN is marrying him soon. Huvane’s working on getting their vows–he thinks we can plant a little black baby robo/listening device—that child collector won’t know the difference. So you need to tell me what yours and Brad’s vows were. (waves bread threateningly)

        GP(nose in the air): Has all that TV acting gone to your head? Bradley and I were never married.

        JA: I KNOW you practiced your vows with him every day of your engagement–or was your engagement so short that you can’t remember. (grins) Because I certainly can remember how fast Brad—.

        GP (smirks): I also remember Bradley and Angelina Voight on that darling, picturesque Kenyan beach, perhaps they were practicing—.

        JA: SHUT UP! You aren’t allowed to say THAT WOMAN’S name! Chelsea!

        CH: What the fuck is going on in here, The Beautiful Jennifer Aniston?

        JA(points): She said THAT WOMAN’S name! Tell her what happens when anyone around me says that name!

        CH(breathes in deep): “What (shit) (in hell) the fuck is fucking Gwyneth (damn) Paltrow (cunt) doing (whore) these (ho) days (damn)? Is (fucker) she (hell) a goddamn actress or (whore) what?
        I got plenty fuckin’ more, GOOP, try me.
        (turns to Jennifer)
        Did that sound good, The Beautiful Jennifer Aniston?

        GP: If either of you so much as try and disparage my good name, or the name of my company, I shall call my Uncle Steven and have you both blacklisted.

        JA (ignoring GOOP): That was beautiful, Chelslut—-oh that breakfast margarita must be doing things weird to my voicebox!

        CH: That’s all right, The Beautiful Jennifer Aniston. I know that margarita does things to your voice. When we leave this, I’ll make you your regular in-between breakfast and lunch margarita. That all right? Ooooh, I can’t wait to do this as your OFFICIAL Maid of Honor! I’m already planning the drink layouts for the bachlorette party and the pre-wedding days! Such—-.

        JA: Focus!

        CH: Sorry, I’m so sorry, The Beautiful Jennifer Aniston. Won’t happen again.

        GP: EXCUSE ME, TV Girl! I will not be ignored. Let me out of this chair, before I call Uncle Steven!

        JA: Tell me the vows, and then I’ll let you go.

        GP: Tell me, TV Girl, has hanging around peasants all day addled your brains? Maybe all that bleach in your hair has finally sunk into your scalp. As I told you before, Bradley and I did not exchange vows. I do not know what Bradley and Angelina are—-.

        JA (shoves bread into GOOP’s face): I am not kidding! Say that woman’s name again and I will sic Chelsea on you!

        GP (smirks, then yells): Bradley’s marrying Angelina! Bradley’s marrying Angelina——–!
        (silence; Jennifer has shoved the piece of bread into GOOP’s mouth. Her head falls forward, apparently knocked out)

        JA: Well that was a waste of time. I missed my tanning session in my backyard for this! Chelsea! This is the worst idea you’ve ever come up with!

        CH(frantic): Well I forgot that they weren’t married. I guess I was too consumed in my research of your absolutely beautiful, strong, stable five year marriage with Brad to notice. I’ll have you know it was difficult to remember who was where at certain times. Especially when Brad went off to shoot Troy. I had to go track down all the furniture stores that you went to, all the beaches, how many times you went to Cabo……

        JA(narrows eyes): If you can’t carry out Maid of Honor duties at this stage, well then, I guess I’ll have to go get Courtney back.

        CH: You can’t! She, uh, uh…..She talked to THEM!

        JA: What do you mean! What! When! How did I not know this! Why, why didn’t you inform me! You, you——

        CH: The Beautiful Jennifer Aniston, it was before you and I became, like, BFF’s. It was at the Oscars, when you had that sexy, way sexier than Brad, remember you told me he was dirtier in bed than Brad——.

        JA: DO NOT say Brad’s name! Only I can say his name! Only I deserve to say his name! It’s bad enough THAT WOMAN refers to him as “Brad”, but not you too.

        CH: As you wish, The Beautiful Jennifer Aniston. Come on, let’s go get a drink and tan at my house.

        JA(grudgingly): All right. But it’s going to take more public jokes of THAT WOMAN to be back on as the Maid of Honor. Capice?

        CH: Yes, The Beautiful Jennifer Aniston. I have already started some about those evil, cunty, homewrecking implants she has. I mean, really, why else would she get those fake boobs, if not to steal more married men. Honestly, she must think we’re all fuckin’ idiots.

        END SCENE.

        To be continued??????

        EDIT: Holy shit that’s long–sorry people.

      • Liberty says:

        @Virgilia hahaahaha I am dying laughing! WOW. This is a movie on its own! THiS — they should have hired you to work on the Princess Diana film~ but, this:

        “I had to go track down all the furniture stores that you went to, all the beaches, how many times you went to Cabo……

        and…..”Yes, The Beautiful Jennifer Aniston.”

        “JA(narrows eyes): If you can’t carry out Maid of Honor duties at this stage, well then, I guess I’ll have to go get Courtney back.”

        AND “(waves piece of bread): We can do this the easy way, or the hard way GOOP. “

      • Janet says:

        @Virgilia: OMG that was epic! Liberty, no offense, but Virgilia actually out-Liberty’d you!

    • nc_magnolia says:

      OMG. Can’t…breathe…

  23. Holden says:

    That is awesome, I have no problem with outsmarting a huge bureaucracy like NYC.

    • Victoria1 says:

      I am with this plan as someone who got a parking ticket for $115 last week because the signs weren’t displayed properly… Beat the system screw the city because ya know what? Diplomats don’t pay squat and park and drive wherever they please. Ugh NYC parking irks me so much.

    • Amory says:

      Really? So you like it when people who can afford it bilk the system so that the average Joe can pay more? No one wins by cheats like this except the cheater itself.

    • anon33 says:

      I live in Baltimore, yeah nowhere near as big as NYC, but the parking fees and fines have become absolutely outrageous. I don’t care what your argument is, there is no reason to charge me a flat fine of FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS for parking in an UNMARKED/UNPAVED “handicapped” spot. (The sign was to the left of the spot I parked in, above a different parking spot, which had the appropriate handicapped markings painted in the spot. There was a METER in the spot I parked in, and no markings, SO I PAID IT, yet here I am with a $500 fine because it was apparently a “handicapped” spot. If It’s handicapped WHY THE HELL is there a meter there? But I digress.)

      Not only that but we have had speed/red light cameras that have been completely inefficient and downright WRONG for like the past two years, the city actually had to disable them and institute some type of investiagtion bc these cameras were issuing tickets to people who were STOPPED at red lights!!!! How can you commit a moving violation if you’re not actually moving??

      I’m as liberal as they come and have no issues with paying any kind of tax or reoasnable penalty, but these types of fees have gotten completely outrageous.

  24. Kaboom says:

    Even more genius is the pap who has his own velco-enabled license plates with him and nicks the bike.

  25. Maya says:

    So let me get this straight – his fiance Jennifer Aniston pays for his houses, holidays, beauty treatments, bikes & cars and gives him monthly allowances to spend on whatever he wants to – but since she refuses to pay for his parking/speeding tickets he decides to bend the law?

    What a gem Jennifer finally found/bought to share the rest of her life with. Not only is he fake from head to toe and we can now add cheapsake as well to the ever growing list of the gold-digger Justin Theroux.

  26. lori says:

    Boy~ his velcro licence plate really stacks up against the humanitarian Oscar that AJ got yesterday.

  27. Bea says:

    I’m sure he doesn’t ask Jen for parking money because she would figue out he only parks outside of Heidi’s building when he is there.

  28. Sheba says:

    Don’t you just love the 1% to bits?

    What an ass. I’ll bet he has a faked disabled placard for his Benz in LA.

  29. jane16 says:

    Now that its common knowledge he does this, it seems like one day he’s gonna come back and find his bike gone, or a cop sitting there waiting to ticket him.

  30. tealily says:

    I think this is super sh**ty. I can’t stand this guy.

  31. Lee says:

    Compared to Jenifer he IS an intellectual, but compared to an actual scholar he isn’t. I think he has an associates, if that. Regardless, there’s a huge difference between intelligent and educated. I know people with higher degrees then mine and they can’t put a sentence together, yet there are others, like Steve Jobs, who didn’t go to college, yet very intelligent. Having both is ideal.

  32. Dommy Dearest says:

    I still don’t know what he’s been in. I only know him based on him reading stories of all the things Brad and Angelina did that day at bedtime. And I’m still too lazy to switch tabs to google him.

    • Virgilia Coriolanus says:

      The only thing I know him from is Charlie’s Angels-Full Throttle. He played as Shamus O’Grady—and man alive was he hot. He lost it for me when I heard him talk in his real voice.

      He was on Sex and the City as the ‘premature ejaculater’, uh…Muhlholland Drive with Naomi Watts.

      Then he co wrote Tropic Thunder and Zoolander….did that shitty Ironman 2 (which I will NEVER EVER forgive him for), I think he wrote Wanderlust or at least co wrote it—-other than that…..?????

  33. Anon says:

    might explain the Bologna that was stuck all over his motorcycle awhile back, cheap just like him.

  34. Wingnut says:

    *clutches pearls* What a horrible monster. I’m just certain Jen put him up to this.