Pippa Middleton scores another ‘journalism’ gig with Telegraph column

Orange is the new black! Sorry, I was just reminded of how ORANGE Pippa Middleton is in these photos of Pippa walking around London yesterday. Look at the people around her. They are normal-colored. It only enhances her orangeness. As for her outfit… the black leather skinny pants would have been slightly cute if they were worn for a night out, at the club, paired with a black top and heels. But black leather pants paired with flats (with bows!) and a white blazer? Maybe the work-week dress code has really changed that much?

Anyway, I keep meaning to discuss Pippa’s latest venture into “journalism” but I keep getting side-tracked. Pippa continues to get writing gigs, and every time she gets a new one, everyone just rolls their eyes. She’s now a “contributing editor” to Vanity Fair, a “food writer” for Waitrose, a columnist for The Spectator and her newest gig is as a “Sport and Social” columnist for The Telegraph. The Telegraph is pretty Tory/royalist, but it’s one of the most respected papers in the UK, so I don’t get why they’re getting on the Middleton Train.

Pippa’s first Telegraph column was all about boxing, or rather it’s about Pippa trying to learn how to box once. You know it’s going to be dumb as hell when the first paragraph includes these lines: “I stood there a little uncertainly, well aware that in my slinky workout attire I was inappropriately dressed. The 20 or so men and women around me knew better, opting for loose-fitting T-shirts or wife-beater vests.” *clutches pearls* You can read the full column here – it’s not as excruciating as her Vanity Fair “article” on tennis, but it’s pretty dumb. I have to wonder… is this her long-term career plan? Is she just going to do her retro “I’m just a silly girl journamalist!” routine for every major newspaper and magazine forever?

PS… Shoulder pads. The Middleton women are totally ‘80s.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

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47 Responses to “Pippa Middleton scores another ‘journalism’ gig with Telegraph column”

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  1. Sixer says:

    Sloane Rangers do love their bow-pumps. Bow-pumps are eternal (and hideous).

  2. ADD says:

    Once in a while she looks cute, buy my god! She needs to hire a stylist immediately. Same with Kate. They think they are so fashionable for some reason

  3. blue marie says:

    the only thing I care to know from an oomp-loompa is where to find the best candy.

  4. Jacqueline says:

    She always looks so rough. That’s all I’ve got

  5. Kate says:

    God, the Middleton’s don’t age well. Pippa looks like a woman in her late 40′s here, and a rough one at that.

    Poor little George, between the Windsor genes and the Middleton genes he’s going to look ancient before he’s out of his teens.

  6. Lisa says:

    This “outfit” is very confusing to me: black leather pants — black peasant shirt — tailored white jacket — flats with bows. Duran Duran Bo Peep?

    • MIka says:

      That outfit is pretty much a standard uniform here in the UK. Go to any High Street and you would see the girls/woman dressed this way: flat ballet pumps, leggings or jeggings, a shirt/blouse and then a blazer or jacket. Also, I think this jacket/blazer is very nicely tailored – it has structure, which most expensive clothes should have. I don’t get the 80s reference of the shoulder pads as my eighties clothes look nothing like this jacket/blazer.

      • Lisa says:

        I live in NYC and spend plenty of time in London so I get what she’s trying to do here. It just isn’t working. The pigeon toes, lank hair and tired orange face are not helping. That said, I like her a lot more than her limp sister.

      • bluhare says:

        Lisa, I’m with you. The first thing I thought was “that jacket does NOT work with the outfit”. It’s not the colour per se, but it looks like a dressier jacket that should be worn with slacks or a skirt or dress, not leather pants.

        And what a crappy choice for a bag. She doesn’t have a black one?

      • Lisa says:

        Hi bluhare — I wanted to say something about the bag too but it was just getting to be too much. It’s a cute, kate spadey, preppy bag that would work with a preppy, fresh outfit, not this quasi-club look.

        This outfit would work with a black silk scoop tank, long gold chain and high heels but then only at night. Sorry Pips — not a good look.

  7. gogoGorilla says:

    Any ID on the bag? It’s adorable. Probably out of peasant reach, of course.

    What is with the orange tanning?? It makes her look ten years older.

  8. Bianca says:

    First off, I can’t believe she was considered “the prettier sister” for a while. I’m not the biggest fan of the royals or anything, but I find her way more irritating than Kate (also because her writing is excruciatingly dumb and I can’t believe she’s getting paid for it.)

    Secondly, I don’t GET why self-tanning is a thing. Why would you want to look orange?

  9. j.eyre says:

    Food writer, sports writer, entertainment writer – clearly she has no specialty and her talent is – subjective – why does she get all the jobs?

    • Kitten Mittens says:

      Her name brings discussion. Yes, her writing is horrendous, but more people will buy the publication to see just how bad her column is. I don’t get it either…

      Any news on if she’s still pursuing defamation against the #pippatips people?

    • Lucrezia says:

      Her speciality appears to be writing about herself. Everything she writes is autobiographical.

      First person journalism really only works if the topic is deeply personal. She doesn’t go into enough depth to justify using it; it’s all surface trivia. It does have enough info to have been a cute/interesting interview, but presented in the first person it just seems … self-centred?

  10. kibbles says:

    This is just embarrassing! Doesn’t she realize that everyone knows she is nothing but a socialite who gets handed these writing jobs only because her sister is Kate Middleton? There are actual people out there who study journalism and spend years writing for local papers who will never get the opportunity to write for Vanity Fair or the Telegraph. Pure nepotism and she’s not even a good writer. She’d be better off leaving the spotlight for a while and working for Party Pieces and continuing her search for an aristocratic husband. Shame on the Telegraph for giving her a column.

  11. Allie says:

    She looks like Kim Kardashian. Just because it’s expensive, doesn’t mean it looks good.

  12. Banskygirl says:

    Self tan on England is for the tacky cheap ppl . Not aristo chasers who want to be successful.

    I live in London , this is not the style anyone is wearing .

  13. Mo says:

    Poor thing. She needs to tie up a husband STAT. Layoff the tanner and get some damn sleep. Girl looks harsh.

  14. vava says:

    Pips looks old and worn out. Her hair is stringy, she’s squinting like that, and her styling isn’t working AT ALL. That orange spray tan – LOL. Oompa Loompa is right!

  15. Sachi says:

    Black cigarette pants would have looked great with that outfit.

    Once again, she looks like she needs a shower. Hair looks stringy and greasy, which is odd considering how much effort she appears to have put into her outfit.

    Her article about boxing is one big self-serving, ego-boosting story. Who wouldn’t want to call their workout clothes ‘slinky’ as Pippa did, trying to describe how the clothes fit her body? So vain.

    And who would ever describe the smell of sweat from 20 random people as “heavy and sweet”? The only smells in a gym/studio with that many people are unwashed hair, BO, and feet. :D

  16. janie says:

    She wants her sisters life.. That is all this is. If she wasn’t Will’s in law, would she be getting these breaks with magazines? Her cook book tell u how to make toast? Who would hire her with those “credentials”?

  17. MissNostalgia says:

    She looks like she is in great physical shape….that is the positive. I have to admit that I am not hating the pants or the shoes; however the blazer is not working and I cannot understand why she insists on the tanning that makes her look at least 40. She would look much healthier with her natural skin tone.

  18. Zombie Shortcake says:

    Oh Lord, does she ever need to hire a writing coach along with that team of editors she needs. Somebody help her stat.

  19. Trilby says:

    Wikipedia says she’s 30. She must drink/smoke heavily because dayum, she looks 45+ in these pictures

  20. Flower says:

    She is looking so old and hard, if she was mid 40′s I’d say she looked good.

  21. dena says:

    For those of you based in the UK, please help me. I don’t get why she is still (or ever was) the IT girl. What’s really going on?

    I can’t even understand her scoring writing gigs from a business perspective (not any more). Who is her target audience? What/which demographic are business/magazines etc., trying to appeal to? Surely her 15 minutes of fame was up hours ago.

    Struggling to comprehend the incomprehensible.

  22. Cricket says:

    Looks like Pipps is trying her best Bridget Jones imitation. From the orange faux tan too much blusher and oh so proper journalism. Next will we see her bum in black tights shimmy down a fire pole? Or perhaps a recipe in next months Waitrose for blue soup and marmalade?