I feel like this week has been bad for the ladies who are especially looney for certain actors. So, let me just go ahead and upset the Orlando-loonies. They are out there and they are vocal. But, in my experience, the Orly-loonies want him to be happy. They will be okay if he finds a nice girl, just as long as the girl is nowhere near Kate Bosworth (Bosworth = the ultimate enemy, for Orly-loonies). But what if Orlando is trying to get with… Taylor Swift?! You know what? I can kind of see that. It makes some sort of twee sense to me. Allegedly, Taylor’s friend told the National Enquirer that Orlando has been trying to get a date with Taylor for a while:
“Orlando has been bombarding Taylor with text messages and phone calls, begging her for a date,” reveals a pal of Taylor Swift. “But she’s been playing hard to get. She’s flattered because she thinks Orlando is so sexy and, in normal circumstances, she would leap at the chance.”
But Taylor is concerned that dating Orlando would destroy her friendships with Selena Gomez and Miranda Kerr, and is worried about being involved in a rebound romance.
“She’s looking for a serious relationship. She doesn’t want to be just another notch on his belt. Taylor knows that Selena is nuts about Orlando and wants to have a real relationship with him. Yet all he seems to want to do is ask her about Taylor!”
[From The National Enquirer, print edition]
“Sources” go on to say that Ed Sheeran – who is BFFs with Swifty and bro-friends with Orlando – is encouraging the match, and he’s trying to play Cupid for the pair. YES. I would really like to see this happen. Orlando has that “Prince Charming” vibe that I’m sure Taylor would get off on. Plus, he has great hair (or he would have if he would just cut his Peggy Olsen bob), and “great hair” is like #1 on Taylor’s Man Must-Haves list. But what would Orlando get out of it? Well, Swifty is tall and thin like Miranda. She has bolt-ons like Miranda. She gets pap’d all the time like Miranda. Basically, Orlando would be getting a younger, richer version of Miranda.
The problem, of course, is that if they got together, they would eventually break up and she would devote an entire album to The Elf-Pirate Who Dumped Her Over The Phone. What rhymes with Elf-Pirate?
Photos courtesy of WENN.