Lindsay Lohan is apparently back in London (or she will be soon) after her months-long, well-earned-vacation (!) all over Europe. According to Lindsay, the rehearsals for Speed-the-Plow don’t start until August 25th. And she’s totally going to appear on stage every night and remember her lines and everything. Why is everybody laughing?! Anyhoodle, Lohan sat down with the Daily Mail for an epically cracked-out interview about how she takes SOME responsibility for her crackheadedness but most of it isn’t her fault, okay? Seriously, I challenge every one of you to wade through these quotes and not think to yourself, “Damn, Lindsay, maybe you would make more sense if you put down the coke straw for two seconds.”
LL on opening night: ‘I think it’s just the idea of when it starts, on opening night, that’s what makes me the most nervous. I’ll probably mess up on the first night just out of fear. I’m excited about the rehearsals, I’m going to be nervous at first obviously, even in the rehearsals. But I think the more I get comfortable on the stage in rehearsals, the better it will be. I’m nervous for the show. I’m scared. I’ve never done a play before. I’ve never even taken acting lessons, I’ve never done anything like that and it’s something new to me and it’s live.’
Why she moved to London: ‘I wasn’t used to for a long time hearing my name on the television every second, whenever I turned on the TV it was promoting the OWN show and it was just a lot and it was kind of overwhelming and everyone knew where I lived. I moved to New York to find peace and I wanted to do something very real and show people who I am and because it’s a reality show it had to be done a certain way, and things had to look a certain way for ratings. That wasn’t my intention of moving to New York. I again got overwhelmed with that and wanted to get away for a minute and I came to London.’
Her acting method: ‘I’ve always wanted to do theatre and I love doing things live, I don’t act in a way that I do a lot of takes so it’s something different for me and it’s much more respected over here and I wasn’t in a place in the past where I could have done that. With that being said now I’m in a position where I want the diligent schedule, I want to do something different and have people see me as an actress on stage and that’s all they see because I got into this to be an actress.’
Taking some responsibility: ‘I think a lot of people have a misconception of me due to situations I put myself in, things that have been made up about me or manifested and I got into this to be an actress and you know I like to create, to write, I eventually want to direct. I lost a lot of that credibility and I take responsibility for some of it but it’s also an industry where it’s celebrity based and I have been made out to be something like that and I don’t want to be known for that, that’s not why I did this.’
She’s releasing a book but it won’t be about her sexual conquests: ‘I would never write to violate someone else or objectify them, that’s not my intention. I like to write because it’s like therapy for me. I want to put a lot of photos and cool stuff, it will probably be like a trilogy, like Harry Potter because there’s so many.’
What is she even talking about here? ‘I worked with a lot of girls in India that have gone through a lot of stuff, and a lot of kids who have gone through family issues or who get subjected to DUI or anything like that and then the pressure of just being better.’
Believe it or not, I actually made an effort to cull the quotes that made the most sense, even though it was obvious that Lindsay was A) on #AllTheDrugs and B) just saying the same old crack lies that she always says in every interview. It’s sort of funny/sad how many lies she tells, how it’s just her default position at this point. During the interview, she was asked about her extended European vacation with friends and she “says she doesn’t know many people here and she chose to travel to Ibiza and Greece alone for her holiday.” Seriously. Like, she lies about something so obvious. There were photos of her with friends the entire time!!!
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.
Two things.
One: She used the line ‘I would never’ and reminded me of yesterday’s post on the Ktrash-Jenner girl where someone said the language “I would never” is used by people when they’re lying.
Two: She looks like Marilyn Manson in the straggly wet hair picture.
Lolololololol. She does have a Mansonesque look about her in that picture.
Can’t. Unsee!
I’m not saying that she’s not lying but I really don’t buy that using the phrase “I would never” is a strong indicator that someone’s lying. I’m sure people who are lying do use that phrase but I’m equally sure that people who are telling the truth also do too.
Also I think context of how the question which elicits the “I would never” response is probably important too. Agh I dunno
Ha ha, and third, she’d write a “trilogy, like Harry potter. There’s so many of them.” Trilogy, TRI, three. Harry potter does have several, but more than 3, so it’s not a trilogy. Ha ha. Uneducated twit.
Totally believe this about “I would never,” because they’ve shown that when people use the phrase “Honestly” or “In all honesty,” they are also lying. You are trying to project the truthfulness you wish you had. . .
I would never suspect that anyone posting on a gossip site who a analyses speech patterns is talking out of their butt just as I would never expect to scroll down and find anyone posting on a gossip site diagnosing this woman’s mental health. I do expect she is lying, however.
Please just stop with the blowing-kisses nonsense. Just STOP
No one has given her the memo that celebutards no longer do this. In the week that we lost Robin Williams, I have no tolerance for meagerly talented coke-addled delusional drunks like this waste of humanity.
^^ This.
I wish she’d stop too. It’s weird and flat out dumb.
As much as I hate her blowing kisses face, I CANNOT STAND her “hooked finger on the lip, aren’t I so sexy?” face! It’s like nails on a chalkboard to me!
Yeah, she blows kisses and people have to do Matrix-like moves to avoid them. Who knows what those kisses can give you in terms of diseases.
“I’ve never even taken acting lessons.” Oh honey, we can tell.
“I don’t act in a way that I do a lot of takes.” Uhhh…you’re a crap actress, so maybe that should change.
yeah, that “I don’t act in a way that I do a lot of takes” caught my eye, too.
wasn’t there stories of how many takes she needed to complete a 30-second scene on Two Broke Girls? like, it took literally HOURS for them to shoot her scenes?
I will say this…I think this is the FIRST time EVER that I’ve heard her take even a smidgen of responsibility for her situations. that’s huge…so maybe after another 7 rehab stays she’ll actually realize that ALL of this is her doing.
Not to defend her in any way, I wouldn’t put too much into the hours it took to do a scene for Two Broke Girls. I’ve been to a filming and every scene took hours. They constantly changed things , whether it was lines, delivery, or dealing with mess ups. I was told it wasn’t u common for a single episode to take 9+ hours to film, which was so long compared to Two and a Half Men and How I Met Your Mother (at the time). Blohan is a mess and probably made that time even longer but the constant changes on set probably glitches her spas mind when it came to doing her “job”.
Funny thing is that Hollywood is still accepting her crap. I was on IMDB a couple days ago and thought I’d check her page, just for sh*ts and giggles. Well, my laughter died in my throat when I saw that she not only has TWO!! movies coming up but her starmeter is up. The apocalypse is near.
Just looked and there are now 3 in pre-production. Not sure if they will go anywhere or not as I am not sure what being in pre-production means. They don’t even mention Speed the Plow and her other movie, Inconceivable is delayed. So who knows what she will really be in.
Imdb is not exactly accurated in “pre-poduction” thing and is not exactly a direct step of filming. Lohan had always projects in “pre-production” which ended nowhere. Gotti was one of these. Stayed in “pre-production” for three years.
“it will probably be like a trilogy, like Harry Potter because there’s so many.”
https://englishedithelp.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/words1.jpg?w=300&h=200
She stopped reading Harry Potter after the 3rd book because she thought they we’re using her likeness without her permission with the Dementors.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! That is so funny!!! I was wondering just what the heck the Crack Dragon was talking about. So many what? HP stories? Crack shenanigans? Shiny necklaces? What is it? Now I can’t rest until I find out! GAAAAH!!
i also died laughing at that part!! what a dummy.
Friends = Clients?
I didn’t understand anything she said.
Why is she always loaded with either bruises or gross sores on her?
Still shaking my head. WHAT WAS SHE TALKING ABOUT???????
Those bruises are like a map to Amelia Earhart’s whereabouts.
Hahahaha…
Alcoholism, no doubt.
: D
I barely made it through the first paragraph. I need someone to decode this sh!t for me.
Tracy, not even James Bond can decode this mess.
Well, let me explain the last paragraph to you.
Lindsay has met a lot of girls in India who have gone through a lot of stuff like BEING SUBJECTED TO DUI and just the whole PRESSURE OF BEING BETTER.
These are well-known concerns for those who have traveled to India and somehow found a way to twist their drug-addled brains into narcissistically projecting their own stories on people who, like, have been through some stuff or whatever that’s really, like, kind of the stuff you sort of didn’t really want to deal with because all along you really just wanted to be an actress or whatever, without even taking any lessons. That’s like how she knew a lot of the girls and a lot of the kids in India had been through a lot. Because DUI subjection, you guys.
It’s called Lindsayese, decoded by coke and adderall lines only.
Oh Lindsay.Lay off the speed.Your mind is all over the place.The Oprah show let everyone know,even yourself,how you really are.That is why you got out of the States.Your parents who constantly back you up have not said a word on how great you are doing after that fiasco.I doubt highly there was anything done for ratings.It showed how you really are.
She is such a mess I think I could get high, or drunk, only sitting near her.
And the production which has chosen her for that play deserve the disaster to come.
Have we ever found out if her doing this play is even a real thing? If so, and I had been the one making the arrangements for her to do the play, I would be drinking cyanide after reading this interview.
It looks like it’s a real thing, opening next month? http://www.atgtickets.com/shows/speed-the-plow/playhouse-theatre/#overview_tab
Harry Potter is not a trilogy. That is all.
Yeah, that lost me totally. I gathered she mentioned HP because wasn’t there some story last week about JK Rowling wanting to write a biography about LL according to LL. I don’t feel sorry for her at this point, but oddly, I wish she wouldn’t do this play because it is going to bad. Really really bad and I think the British press is going to put her through the ringer. They ain’t nice like they are around here and they take their theater very seriously.
Lindsay gave a recent interview where she said she wants a ghostwriter to pen her memoir. If she can’t get E.L. James, then she’ll take J.K. Rowling. Because those are the only two famous authors she could think of. Except Dr. Seuss. And he is dead.
Thankfully both of her preferred writers are known for agreeing to ghostwrite sleazy celebrity bios without putting their own names on their work?
If Rowling hears Lindsay knows Harry Potter was a series of so many stories – like trios even – how could she possibly turn Lindsay down? She’s obviously well-read and a great fan of J.K. Rowling’s nonfiction or memoirs or movies or whatever.
When did she work with girls in India though?
Oh yeah, all those Indian girls who got “subjected to DUIs. “
prob her friends, who are just like her, and drive drunk.
“Subjected to DUIs” was the best part of this hilarious interview.
Lest we forget about “Lindsay Lohan’s Indian Journey” for BBC? If I recall correctly, she missed her flight(s) per usual, and lied about “saving” childrens’ lives on twitter, getting many people involved in the charities and government in a twist. Yes, I remember too much Celebitchy. I’m off to find a real life now…
She talks crap like I do when drunk…although I think I make more sense.
Stop. Just stop. You’ve passed cracky and have managed to become boring.
Also, she needs to not travel to India, those people she’s talking about have enough problems. … Oh my God, I’m talking like I believe she went to India. Her brain must be extra crispy from all the drugs. It would be sad if she weren’t such a massive a-hole.
Self medicating depression, avoiding reality. That’s my take.
Agree 100%. Hard to watch.
I agree. I think it happens a lot with kids who have no boundaries growing up and then can’t manage life’s daily tedium when they are grown up and have responsibilities. My brother (who is an addict) used to call her Windsey WOE-han because poor her. Takes one to know one.
Her understudy must be jumping for joy because they are going to be on stage more than Lilo and this might turn out to be their big break.
You know?
She could really use the help. Her acting has become really stale and forced lately. She was never amazing, but when she was really young she certainly had potential. Unfortunately, she peaked at age 18.
sigh
This. Her lack of an acting coach or interest in classes has always made me side-eye her acting ambition. Also, no way that her voice can pull off a regular stage gig.
Casting her understudy is going to be the hottest get in town for young actresses. A star will be born, and it won’t be Crackie.
I agree, what are they going to do about her voice? A few weeks is no where near enough time for her to develop proper breathing habits to have the vocal support you need to fill a room.
I agree with what everyone is saying about her “talent”. She doesn’t put in the work to do a good performance, and it shows. She has been completely terrible in all of her recent gigs, and those were on camera, which is a style she should be used to. Throw her on a stage where you can’t stop if you forget a line, you can’t do another take, you have to deal with unexpected reactions from the audience (laughter in inappropriate places, etc.). I just don’t think she will be able to handle it.
However, I know tickets will probably sell well due to morbid curiosity, and her ego will soar. Sigh.
@TOK, I think her talent has been much overrated. I think she was precocious and cute child who got lucky. As early as Mean Girls, she starts to lose her luster as an actress. It’s more cool kid charisma that chops. Not an unattractive quality but these days she’s got zero craft, zero work ethic and a whole lot of skeevy baggage. Personally, I don’t think she’s got the intelligence or sensitivity to be an actress.
Yeah I completely agree with your assessment, particularly the “overrated” part.
She probably just had stellar PR, a good agent, and White Oprah to promote her as The Next Big Thing after Parent Trap came out. Too bad she set herself up for a huge fall with all that OTT hype.
Remember when Blohan co-starred with Merryl Streep and Jan Fonda? I think both of them praised her natural talent, at the time.
whatever natural ability she had as a child/teen actor is gone. I doubt Blohan could hold her own against actors her own age at this point.
Thanks Bess. I was thinking the same thing, that I remembered an interview where Meryl Streep indicated she thought Lindsey had great potential. So based on that, I have always given LL the benefit of the doubt, assuming that if she could ever get her act together, and get sober, she might have a career. Now it is to the point after so many years of abuse, I’m not sure but what she has brain fried any potential she might have had. I hope not. I have this strange part of me that wants her to get sober, grow some brains and be successful.
Have they even gotten the play fully casted? Couple weeks ago I googled it and they only had Lindsay’s name as part of the cast. Maybe I’m looking in the wrong place.
So, just looked again, they have casted Nigel Lindsay (ironic, huh?) as Charlie Fox and Richard Schiff as Bobby Gould. Richard Schiff was “Communications Director Toby Ziegler on the acclaimed NBC series The West Wing” according to a blog. From what I can read Nigel Lindsay has done mostly theatre and television in England, nothing I recognized (although I quickly perused his blog).
Toby no!! What happened? He’s been working too. How did he get roped into this. Quick! Someone do a welfare check on Mr Schiff’s wife and children! 😉
I recognise Nigel Lindsay from FOUR LIONS film which is a piss take of British jihadists.
I can not believe Richard Schiff’s career has sank to this low. Or possibly they offered him mega money because this play is going to be sold out on the strength of Lilo live cracken that everyone will want to see.
@ Mia4S and LAK
To be fair, neither one of them are likely to *actually* work with Lindsay. They will work with her understudy.
And occasionally step over Lindsay, for whom “passed out backstage” counts as “at work”.
Say something nice:
I believe she does like to write and has lovely handwriting at that, because I remember seeing her detailed and lengthy notes during one of her trials/court cases.
*TEARS!!!*** HAHAHAHAHA!!! I’m sorry but that was really, really funny! I couldn’t help it! LMAO! Thanks for making my morning, Livealot!
I can’t help feeling so sad for her. This girl once had a career!
She’s the cracked-out gift that keeps on giving, no matter how many times we return it.
10 bucks says it was either some girl named India, or a girl from Indiana who happened to get busted for DUI at the same time as her once.
If she were the slightest bit serious about making a comeback as an actress, she’d used this pre-rehearsal time to work with an acting coach, rest, and focus on her work. Not go to Ibiza.
I’ve been catching up on Orange is the New Black, and the difference between LL and Natasha Lyonne’s behaviors, post rehab/recovery, is astounding.
Lyonne had a well publicized addiction problem and public meltdown, and has managed to make a pretty decent comeback by doing EXACTLY what LL has given lip service to doing. she kept her head down and just WORKED. unlike LL who does nothing but SAY she wants to work but then flakes out when given the opportunity.
of course, there is the fact that Lyonne is more talented than LL…but, clearly, Lyonne WAS serious about making a comeback. LL just wants to say she is and keep partying.
I’m so happy to see Lyonne on OITNB. I always liked her so much and was sad to see her demons catch up to her.
Natasha is a really wonderful actress and PERFECTLY cast on that show. That being said, could you really see LiLo on a show like OITNB (I mean, for example)?
I would have to see her do something AMAZING for me to convince me that her future isn’t paved with Lifetime movies.
I really like Lyonne, too. I thought she was great in “But I’m a Cheerleader!” and I think she’s great on OITNB. I like her character, too.
and no, I don’t think LL could hold her own against all of the great acting on that show.
That is an excellent comparison, there are definite parallels in their childhoods and their problems as adults.
Natasha had a lot of serious medical issues a few years ago, I’m thinking that prompted her into cleaning up her life. Whatever the case, she seems to be thriving now, and is so fantastic on OITNB. I’m rooting for her to stay healthy and keep working, because she’s got a lot to offer.
Some suggestions for her headstone inscription:
“I’ve never even taken acting lessons”
“I’ll miss my coke straw the most”
“This wasn’t my fault”
“#AllTheDrugs”
What is she even talking about here?
Nix the last sentence. I just thought the question was hysterical.
She called Harry Potter a trilogy. That sums up this interview.
Ewwww….that’s all I can say at this point.
Dear Lindsay,
What the ever loving f$%k are you on about? On second thoughts, make that ‘What the ever loving f$%k are you on?’
Sincerely,
A very perplexed Indian woman.
^^ lol
http://www.telegraph co uk/news/worldnews/asia/india/7472033/Lindsay-Lohan-faces-ban-from-India.html
add the dots
This has to be the funniest post I’ve read all week! LOL!!
She can’t even do stupid skits on Fallon without cue cards and being obvious about reading them.
I find that I’ve been cringing as I read through these Lindsay articles lately.
Yes, she’s delusional, she’s selfish, she’s completely oblivious, immature, and confusing. But this girl is also, quite plainly, an addict who is lost and alone.
You’re completely right and I try to remind myself of that but she makes it SO. HARD. to feel sorry for her.
I think what mainly prevents me from feeling as empathetic as I should is the fact that she is SO delusional and SO unaccountable for any of her life choices. That, and her constant refrains of “I want to be taken seriously as an actress” while out partying and pissing money away makes me really dislike her.
She needs help but she won’t get it as along as she lives in a state of perpetual denial.
Soooo… She has exactly one month of rehearsals before the previews begin (September 24th is the first preview night).
She has only one more week of relaxation before she has to get to work (notice, I didn’t say get BACK to work… must be nice to take such a long vacation from doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING).
And there is still no word on who her co-stars will be. With one more week until rehearsals begin. There are three roles in this play, and the other two are the LEADS.
Funny… But from what little I know of the theatre, most plays have a longer rehearsal period (usually between 5-7 weeks), ESPECIALLY if one of the ‘stars’ in the play has never had any stage experience. Oh and OTHER productions announce a good portion of the cast WELL BEFORE rehearsals begin.
Just hope the producers on this fiasco have seriously deep pockets. And good insurance.
” I like to write because it’s like therapy for me. I want to put a lot of photos and cool stuff, it will probably be like a trilogy, like Harry Potter because there’s so many.”
Yeah, Lohan is gonna be a writer but first she is going to direct but before that she is going be in a play but before that she is going to put down the straw but first she is going to put down the bottle. She’s misunderstood, Y’ALL!
How can you take anything she says seriously? The interviewer must despise his boss for assigning him this article. She is such a joke and she and her loser ass mother are the only ones that can’t see it.
Lindsay is also going to win an Oscar before the age of 30.
The interviewer probably lost a bet.
It appears that her interview was incorrectly transcribed for this article. Supposedly she said, “I’ll probably mess up on the first night,” when actually she said, “I know I’ll mess up every night, if I even bother to show up.”
( I moved to New York to find peace and I wanted to do something very real and show people who I am and because it’s a reality show it had to be done a certain way, and things had to look a certain way for ratings. That wasn’t my intention of moving to New York. I again got overwhelmed with that and wanted to get away for a minute and I came to London.’ )
Yet she was living in New York for months prior to her court hearing and going to rehab for the 7th? time and before she sign on to do the OWN reality show. So I don’t know how she can say she only moved to New York after getting out of rehab and just for filming .
I think New York is one of the last places on earth I would go to find peace. Maybe she finds her peace in tall buildings and concrete sidewalks.
According to ticket sales for Speed the Plow, the play runs through November. Doesn’t she have a court date in November or will she get that postponed because she is “working”. Also, has she completed her community service and her mandatory counseling? This may get interesting.
Also, what about the money she owes the IRS? Or is she running away from that by living in England? Is it possible to run away from that?
She will never, EVER put down the coke straw, Kaiser. That coke straw is forever connected to a 32-oz. Big Snort that is magically always full of (not the liquid) coke. Just try to pry that sh^t out of her cold, clammy claw.
I know others have mentioned this on this site, but how in the hell does SHE get a visa to the UK, when others who are way more deserving get turned down? It’s just so frustrating.
She hasn’t been busted for guns, drugs, violence, or terrorism?
@Lady D
But don’t her multiple convictions count against her?
(Shakes head in disbelief.)
She always sounds a mess, sounds silly and has no self-awareness whatesover. STill giving excuses and BS. At least back in the day she was once cute and we know that cute overlooks so much in Hollywood. But woah she looks rough now. The cute train left her behind long ago. She looks like the addicts I see on the streets begging. Why does she always looks like she didn’t bathe.
I wonder if she ever once realized that her out of control partying, her career and Hollywood standing is equivalent to Tara Reid??!! And even Tara is having more success than LL with her Sharknado movies LOL!!! She’s lower than Tara now on the acting pole *shakes head*, inconceivable at one time!!!
“I’ve never even taken acting lessons.” No shit Sherlock. Here’s the question: why hasn’t she? She goes on and on (ad naseum) about acting being her passion, the thing she was born to do so why hasn’t she studied her craft? I’m a visual artist, in my fifties, and I am still taking classes and workshops to widen my range and skill set. She is a waste of space hooker, that is her chosen profession now. She won’t make it to that play.
Could someone who has read or seen this play please let us know how large and challenging a role it is? I know there are only a few characters, but is this really a meaty one? or is it small and similar to her own persona — meaning that lindsey showing up and saying the lines will almost do?
Remember how Lindsay wanted J. K. Rowling to ghost-write her “sexy memoir”?
And she doesn’t even know how many Harry Potter books there were.
But why is that a surprise? She doesn’t even comprehend that (1) a children’s book author isn’t a great fit for a “sexy memoir”, and (2) a rich, famous writer of any sort is probably never going to hire on as a ghost-writer. They can make more money writing their own books.
Cracken is cracked, and crack is whack.
It’s such a shame. The first and last time I caught her work was in Robert Altman’s “Prairie Home Companion.” And being surprised at how good she was. She was believable, realistic and had a low-key acting technique. I was pleasantly surprised at how natural she was. Maybe it was her talent, maybe it was Altman. Who knows. It’s just sad to see a young woman with promise reduced to this.
“With that being said now I’m in a position where I want the diligent schedule, ”
As opposed to six months ago?
When you couldn’t get out of bed by the crack of 3 to attend a modeling shoot in your house?
It’s pretty much physically impossible to perform a play several days per week and hit the clubs every single night (as it is with any actual job).
She is ridiculous. Is this theatre play actually going to happen? I feel like I’m being trolled.