You guys might have noticed this, but I’ve just realized that I’ve become increasingly obsessed with Ariana Grande. She’s young, she has controversial talent (some people swear they hate her voice), she’s cute in a baby-rabbit sort of way and she’s got the good girl/bad girl dichotomy down. So, while you might not like her music, do you at least like to laugh at her interviews? Because her interviews are crazy, and she’s got that thing that’s so typical of the younger generation – she’s compulsively self-defining, almost profoundly insular and self-obsessed. Ariana covers the new issue of Billboard (you can read the full piece here) and in between all of the ass-kissy stuff about how she’s the next big pop star, there are some amazing gems. Some highlights:

Her image: “I think people see me as a little cutesy thing. But I’m literally the most sardonic person you’ve ever met.”

She was “a very weird little girl” in Boca Raton, Fla.: “Dark and deranged. I always wanted to have skeleton face paint on or be wearing a Freddy Krueger mask, and I would carry a hockey stick around. I was like a mini-Helena Bonham Carter. For my fifth birthday party we had a Jaws theme and all my friends left crying. I mean, I still am that way. But when I was little it was more concerning. There was a stage, when I was 3 or 4, where my mom thought I might grow up to be a serial killer.”

She’s a hummingbird: “I am hypoglycemic so sometimes I’ll get anxious if I forget to eat. When I was a little girl, I would turn into the Tasmanian devil.”

She compulsively self-defines: “I’m a micromanaging workhorse. Absolutely an obsessive-compulsive workaholic.”

She’s a grandparent’s dream: “I have an obsession with all things vintage and classic and old-school, everything from Marlene Dietrich to Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons to Connie Francis. My grandpa was always telling me I should sing songs from the Great American Songbook.”

She loves Madonna: “She is strength, she is freedom, she is wisdom beyond anybody’s comprehension.”

Religion: Grande was raised Catholic but “departed from that and started practicing my own things when I was around 12 years old,” she says. Now, like Madonna, Grande practices Kabbalah. “As a fellow Kabbalist, I know how hard it is to exercise those tools in your everyday life. Especially in a world where everything is so egocentric and all you do is talk about yourself and promote yourself.”

[From Billboard]

Do you believe that cutesy, anal retentive Ariana was a ghoulish little girl obsessed with skeletons and such? Not really. She probably watched a lot of Tim Burton movies, but who doesn’t? Anyway, I think Ariana is pretty harmless as a person but I’m endlessly amused to see her try to navigate her fame and define herself. People seem to love her and quite honestly, there are much worse pop stars out there.

You know what I wonder? I wonder what Mariah Carey thinks of Ariana. Mariah’s album I Am Mariah… The Elusive Chanteuse flopped, Mariah just fired Jermaine Dupri (her longtime producer) and Mariah hasn’t had a #1 hit in a really long time. I’m wondering if Mariah looks at Ariana and thinks, “Why her and not me?”

Photos courtesy of Austin Hargrave/Billboard.