Jessa Duggar married Ben Seewald on Saturday. In case you forget which Duggar girl we’re talking about, Jessa is the one who loves automatic weapons and comparing abortion to the Holocaust. Ben is the guy who loathes Catholics and writes epic social media rants about them, then deletes those rants and pretends that they never happened. Charming, right? Anyway, Jessa and Ben had a quick courtship and engagement, probably because they couldn’t wait to hug face-to-face as a married couple. Their wedding had 1000 guests! There’s a joke in there somewhere about how many of those guests came out of Michelle Duggar’s biscuit, but we’ll save it for another day. You can see Jessa and Ben’s exclusive wedding portrait here at People. The bride wore blush, not white!!
Meet the Seewalds! Jessa Duggar became a married woman on Saturday, Nov. 1, when she wed her love Ben Seewald, TLC confirms to Us Weekly.The reality star, 21, said “I do” to Seewald, 19, at the First Baptist Church in Bentonville, Ark. The bride and groom were feted by nearly 1,000 guests, with the reception decorated with peach flowers and white roses. For a sweet touch, white ribbons were added to the end of the pews where the newlyweds’ families sat.
Duggar’s younger sister Jinger was her maid of honor. She was also joined by bridesmaids Jessica Seewald, Danielle Seewald, Michelle Seewald, Peyton Weiss, Anna Hackel, and Amara Query. Seewald’s best man was best friend Dylan McMahan. His groomsmen included his sibling Russ Seewald and Duggar’s brothers Josiah and Joseph. Flower girls included Jordyn-Grace Duggar and Faith Seewald.
Grandparents and mothers of the couple were seated during a rendition of “Amazing Grace.” Bridesmaids followed to Rebecca Seewald singing “Love Never Falls.” The blushing bride then walked down the aisle to Erin Paynes’ “Bridal March.” An insider tells Us that Jessa’s older sister Jill, now pregnant with her first child, kept smiling sweetly to her husband Derick Dillard during the ceremony.
It was a quick engagement for the now-married couple, as they got engaged just two-and-a-half months before their wedding date. Duggar accepted Seewald’s proposal on August 14, after he presented her with a 0.75-carat diamond engagement ring.
“God has written an amazing story through our courtship, and another chapter has just begun!” the happy couple said in a statement at the time. “We are thrilled to see what the future holds.”
Jessa is the third of the Duggar children to tie the knot. Her brother Josh, 26, previously married his wife Anna Keller in 2008, and Jessa’s older sister Jill, 23, married Derick Dillard this past June. It’s an exciting time for Jill and Derrick, as they announced this past August that they are expecting their first child, a boy, together.
Following in her family’s religious rules and traditions, Jessa had her parents Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar heavily involved in her courtship with Seewald. They had strict rules in the months leading up to their engagement.
Ahead of their big day, the Seewalds registered for wedding gifts at retailers including Amazon and Bed, Bath, & Beyond. The couple’s registries included requests for everything from a pink hairdryer to an Apple MacBook Air computer.
Even if this was a normal, non-Jesusy couple, I would side-eye the two-and-a-half month courtship before marriage. Less than three months is not time enough to know for sure that this is the guy you want to be with forever. Especially at the age of 21 (Jessa) and 19 (Ben). That’s just a disaster waiting to happen. I mean, these people don’t believe in divorce, but it’s going to get messy, I guarantee.
People Mag also confirms that even after Jessa and Ben said their vows, they still didn’t have their FIRST KISS EVER at the wedding ceremony. Because they didn’t want to kiss in front of everyone. They wanted their first kiss to be private. You know how to ensure privacy for your first kiss? Kiss your boyfriend before you get married. And here is the most offensive thing to me in this entire eye-rolly endeavor: THEY DIDN’T HAVE A CAKE!!!! Jessa told People: “I don’t really like cake. We wanted ice cream sundaes instead.” Ben wanted mint chocolate chip and Jessa chose chocolate (which is how she likes her men).
Photos courtesy of Jessa’s Instagram.
I believe the scientific term for Michelle’s biscuit is “Jesus Cannon.”
Ahaha, you don’t know how much this made me laugh on a miserable, cold Monday morning.
I can’t…. Hahahahaha…. Dying
That’s the perfect description! You win.
LMFAO
LOL LOL LOL
My new favorite euphemism. Thanks, Abbott.
haha! great comment 🙂
LMAO – good one!!!
Oh dear lord…lolololol…I may love you.
Abbott: epic comment win!!!!
Omg gross! The imagery… I shudder.
This truly cheered me up. Thank you
Pack it up, let’s all go home. Abbott wins the internet. 😀
Giggle.
Jinger? Can you imagine explaining that your whole life? “Jinger with a J, well it starts with a J, then there’s a G.”
This x1000. What a silly way to spell it.
HATE the way that name is spelled. I always think of it with a hard g, as in rhymes with “ringer.”
However, if that were the Duggars’ worst offense against the world at large, I’d be happy.
Wow, up to this moment I’ve been pronouncing it with a hard G. Never even occurred to me it’s pronounced Ginger! Well, I don’t watch the show and only read about them. Dumb spelling.
TBH, one of my friends from high school has a sister named Jinger. They had 8 children in their family — 6 were adopted. All have “J” names.
How very Utah-an of them. I scrolled back up to check whether they *were* in Utah since I can’t watch their show and only know them from here.
OMG Ginger! I had pronounced it to rhyme with “ringer” and was all, Wut.
21 and 19 years old. This breaks my heart. They are just so young. :/
I met my husband when we were 19 and 20. We got married at 23 and 24. Ten years, two kids and still going strong, don’t get me wrong. We are best best best friends and have enormous fun together. BUT even I look back at our wedding pictures and think, “Holy crap, we were young to be getting married.”
Yep, I got married at 21 & my husband was 20. We met when we were 18 and 19 & were engaged 3 months later!! LOL At the time it made perfect sense b/c we were in love, but now to look back on it, we were SOOOO young & now I wonder how *I* would feel if my daughters did the same thing!! Now my husband & I have been married for 12 years, we have 3 kids and are still madly in love and happy together! I know it doesn’t work out that way for everyone who gets married young, but for me, it did!!
Sure. There is nothing wrong with meeting young. I have many friends who did. But their lives are so sheltered that it can’t help but feel like exploitation here bc they have so few chances to explore other paths. :/
I agree Kate. There is nothing wrong with meeting young, but their lives are so sheltered. She’s a beautiful girl, all the Duggar girls are and I can’t help but feel sad for the way their futures are laid out for them. My husband and I were young when we met, I had just turned 21 and he was 20 and we got engaged 2 years later. I always promised my mom I would graduate college, have a good job and a place of my own before getting married and that’s what I did except my husband and I bought a place together prior to marriage which she didn’t care much for lol. We have been married almost 7 years and together 11 years and our baby is 10 months old. We waited to marry, start a family, had life experiences and grew as a couple. I can tell you if we married at 21 when we didn’t know each other well and started a family immediately like the Duggars do I don’t know if we would still be together. Since divorce isn’t an option for them it makes it even sadder, I can’t imagine being forced to stay married to someone much less continue having oodles of babies with them when you’re not happy.
I married at twenty as well. When you know, you know. I think its different with them…..it’s almost as though a girl is an old maid if she isn’t married by her early twenties. The oldest Duggar girl is unmarried and I think Jim Bob and Michele like it that way. They need a mother for their other kids.
You guys were still together for several years before you actually tied the knot, though, and I’m doubting you were “chaste” during that time period. (God, do I hate that term.) These two are getting married AT 19 and 21 and haven’t even figured out the basics of their physical chemistry. It may work out for them, but, ah…it may very well not. Which can be a problem when you live in a culture where divorce is either forbidden or looked down upon.
Nothing wrong with getting married young, but age does give you the advantage of experience and more developed sense of self. And even then, plenty of marriages still manage to fail.
While I believe it is possible to find love easrly on that isn’t the case here.
Jessa’s husband was chosen for her. They didn’t meet and realize they wanted to be together. This was decided for them and they’re simply falling in to their predetermined path. It’s not a fair comparison to everyone who has married young and/or had a short courtship. Just not the same at all. People should stop making the comparisons. Unless a marriage was decided by their parents and they are still happily married. Then and only then can it be compared.
And I knew my husband was the one for me the day we met. He did too. Sometimes it works like that. That can work out or fall apart. Still, we were the ones meeting and deciding to be together.
Well… anecdotes aside, you are statistically more likely to get a divorce if you marry young. So there is nothing WRONG with it per say, but – again, statistically – it’s very risky.
polonoscopy
I remember hearing about that. And that people who marry in their 30’s statistically have an 80%(or something like that) success rate over those who marry in their 20’s. IMO it’s more about time you spend getting to know your partner. Or being of an age when you know yourself.
I know plenty of people who got married quite young and have been married a long time. I know young people who continue to get married barely past 18. I think they are nuts for getting married so young but I don’t think they will be a statistic of divorce. I think this couple will be just fine.
I am very happy their first kiss was in private. I did watch the wedding of when the brother got married. It was awful! Since he had never kissed her it just looked ackward, and kind of gross. I was traumatized!!!
So I for one am glad this was private.
My hubby and I were 22 & 20 when we got married. We got engaged after 7 months of dating and married 9 months after that. After 11 years married and a 2 year old little boy, we’re doing just fine.
But you met him and decided to date him and later marry him. Jessa met her future husband after it was already decided they would marry. The only thing they were known to have in coommon was Jessa’s father appreciated the values her now husband has. And Jessa sees it as her duty to produce a large family for god with her husband.
I also found my husband in college and got married in my low 20’s. That doesn’t mean it’s comparable to this situation. Just like your situation. It’s just not the same.
I agree , I got married two days after I turned 19 ( husband was 20 ) and we are still married 16 years later. Yes we made it after all these years but given the chance to do it again I would have waited. I have also drilled it into my young daughters heads that marriage can wait. Go be an independent women , get an education – live life. If you really love someone they will wait and that piece of paper isn’t going to change anything. There really is no eason to get married so early in life as we change so much during those early years. When we are 19 everything is so intense – love , fights , friendships its hard to really think clearly at that age, everything is just so dramatic. Is that really the time to make such a huge commitment? Especially the Duggars who essentially get married just to have sex and over populate the planet some more.
Raising your younger siblings ages you. They’re the equivalent of people in their mid-20s I’d imagine. At least with regard to some things. The lack of nuance and even information in their opinions is more in line with their chronological ages.
No it doesn’t, there are plenty of immature people with younger siblings, they’re 19 and 21 and obviously both naive and foolish.
For me it’s not the youth so much as the lack of time they’ve spent together (or perhaps it’s the combination thereof?). It’s rare for that to work in the long run (though it can).
Odds are they will despise each other in eight years, if not sooner.
I started dating my husband when I was 15 and got married at 18 and had my son at 19 – after 20 years of marriage, I think we did good ALTHOUGH, if my son told me he was going to get married at 18 (he’s nearly 19), I would kill him!!
I wonder what these people think of the Pope’s position on evolution. I would love to see one of the Dugger children have a gay wedding in the future. Or a teen pregnancy. Anything to shake up their moronic little world.
They’ve agreed with the evolution thing for 60 years, but knowing how the new Duggar inductee feels about Catholics, I’m sure they’re repulsed by it.
Catholics don’t have trouble with the theory of evolution, and I’m sure that attitude goes back far more than 60 years. Catholics don’t take the bible literally. That’s a particular subset of Protestants thing. In Catholic schools in the 1950s, I was always taught evolution wasn’t incompatible with God creating the universe, since how exactly it was done didn’t matter. And seven days was just a metaphor, as is typical for biblical stories. A day doesn’t have to mean 24 hours by a modern clock. The stories are told to make a point, not as history. I can’t imagine how people manage to read it all as literal, especially considering the difficulties inherent to translation. Their minds have to twist around themselves to get past all the contradictions.
@jwoolman Actually Catholics do take the Bible literally. Kinda the foundation of Catholicism…
Pope Francis is hardly the first to make it clear that Catholic doctrine and Scientific theories like the Big Bang and Evolution are not incompatible. Just saying. Come to think of it, thats probably one in a long list of reasons why this guy hates Catholics so much.
I didn’t realize this family had issues with Catholicism. I’ve never been able to sit through their show and tune them out whenever possible. My apologies to Catholics.
the pope is catholic and according to fundy logic not a christian
Fundamentalists consider Catholics heretics because they believe Catholics worship the Pope and the saints, which amounts to polytheism in their eyes. They also reject the Catholic (and liberal Christian) belief that acts of charity and good works are essential to reaching heaven. Remember, the core doctrine of fundamentalist Christianity is that Man is fallen, deserves Hell and it is only through God’s mercy that he allows us into Heaven. Hence, anybody arguing that salvation is essentially in human hands and we can control whether we enter Heaven is a heretic.
To be honest – though they may not admit it one of the things they hate most about Catholicism is the very high standing and deference to a female ( Virgin Mary) many Cathedrals have a a separate alter especially for praying to her and she trumps all Saints apart from Paul maybe – and you can have any of the womens getting ideas above their station can you?!
@Misstee: but don’t forget that Mary is worthy of worship precisely because she fulfilled her fuction as a woman to give birth. She’s worthy of veneration precisely because of her adherence to the female role, not subverting it. The Catholic hierarchy has no problem with Mary, or with female saints like Maria Goretti, but they’re still very touchy about Joan of Arc, for example. Fundamentalists dislike Catholics for a variety of reasons, but the good works thing is often what I perceive to be the sticking point.
I grew up in a home as fundy as it gets and I’ve never heard of this. My family believes many Catholics are Christian.
Also, thebarticle didn’t say it was a two and a half month courtship; that’s how long their engagement was.
On another note, she is gorgeous. I feel sad that she will never know what the possibilities are for her as a human being as opposed to just a wife and mother. No offense to those who have chosen that path, but this girl has been made to believe it is the only one that exists. She doesn’t even get a choice.
The Duggars don’t believe in evolution at all. They are Creationists and believe that man and dinosaurs roamed the earth at the same time.
At least Creationists now accept that dinosaurs were real. I remember a time when they thought all of paleontology was a hoax. …Progress?
” Jessa chose chocolate (which is how she likes her men).” Is that a hint to a blind item or some gossip to hit the fan soon? Hmmmm
I too was left wondering…? Someone pleeeease fill us in!!
Same!
RIGHT?! what was this about??
It’s a common American joke.
could you explain it for us no american ?
It’s a line from the ancient film Airplane which spoofed 70s disaster films.
janefr – The joke is from the film “Airplane.” To paraphrase the original line, it’s goes something like, “I like my coffee black. Like my men.” To really get the impact of the joke, you have to know it’s said by a young girl.
Okaaay. thanks. I guess I’ll have to see the film to actully get it.
Omg,y’all, my cousin “liked” the Duggars page on Facebook, and I commented on how I think it’s awful that they educate their sons but not their daughters….Big. Mistake. Big. I am getting so much hate you couldn’t believe “u r doing Satan’s work” “I am praying for u” “you r hateful, woman” and the like. It’s sort of funny but I feel bad that I probably embarrassed my cousin.
Have I mentioned that the Duggars make me gag? I can say that here, right?
That is crazy!!!! I pray they all leave you alone
Ha! Me, too.
You sure as hell can! We love you here, GOODNAMESALLTAKEN.
Thank you, Nikki. Never again will I comment “out there.”
Wow GNAT I am surprised! You are the most sensible and sane and non-offensive voice on Celebitchy. I can’t believe a) anyone would be that furious at you and b) you have loony tunes cousins!
Satan’s work?? Good grief.
Well, you are so sweet, but I probably was tactless to criticize them on their fan page. Lol. Not smart!
Where do the 1000 people come from? Is ghe the entire Quiverfull flock of sheeple?
Stay strong, GNAT! It’s not wrong to be full of common sense. 🙂
Thank you!
Aw. I’m sorry you are having to deal with that. It’s one thing to read such insensitive and (forgive me) ignorant blabbler on the internet but quite another to have it directed at yourself, especially from a family member. I hope it blows over soon with no long-term repercussions.
Oh, no, my cousin just liked the page. She’s really sweet, and someone forwarded it to her, so she liked it. She has her own business and probably doesn’t know anything about them. The people hating on me are strangers. Lol
Oh good! Well then the rest of them can shut the eff up. Ha! 😉
Does Satan pay well? Are you a secret politician?
So far the only payback for being Satan’s minion has been negative. But I’ll keep you posted if I suddenly look ten years younger or find 666 on my scalp or anything.
if satan pays a finder’s fee, and if the pay is ok, feel free to submit my name for a job. i have student loans to pay off.
That’s why you don’t stick your nose in other peoples’ taste on Facebook. Even if you’re right, nothing but drama can come of it.
This!!! Occasionally I will start to type out a comment on some FB page, and more often than not, I end up deleting it. People get so hateful on social media and I just don’t have the time or energy to fight with strangers. Frankly at this point I’m only on FB to keep up with relatives that have moved away
Oh, my, are you ever right. I NEVER should have done that.
I pray that they know “u” is more than just a letter
I was told that I am probably “a slut and a ho” ( that’s an exact quote) because I posted that I would find it smothering to have to have an accountability partner, accompanying me everywhere I went. Particularly as an adult. Apparently, only sluts and hookers go anywhere alone. Glad I finally know what’s what.
They must be amazed by the fact that many couples spend time alone together and manage to remain within their own set limits (whatever those may be). The chaperone system, to me, reeks of a lack of trust. They can’t trust each other to behave in an appropriate way, so they use chaperones.
One of my friends is fairly atheistic (although she does believe in an afterlife, so I’m not sure what to call her) and she and her husband waited for sex until they were married. No religious reason, she just thought it created unecessary complications and she wanted to get to know a man without that hanging over them, so she took it off the table. They went out many times and had over a year-long relationship before they married, and yes, they waited (although I don’t think either of them was a virgin). Yes, it can be done. The Duggars don’t trust their kids, flat-out.
Well, Deanne, I guess someone needed to tell us. Lol.
Waiting to have sex until you are married is a completely personal choice. There is nothing wrong with making that choice, but like you said, she made her own choice. Her parents didn’t dictate it. Imagine the annoyance of having someone follow you around every time you left the house. The Duggar parents read every text, listen in on every conversation and won’t even let an engaged couple spend two minutes in a room alone. You’re right. They claim to raise their children the right way, yet think they’ll drop trow and get busy within seconds of being left alone. No trust their and creepily sex obsessed to put it mildly.
I hope you have a sense of humour. So many laughs from these people. Probably you are a big slut and ho…because education for girls goes hand in hand with that…so obvious. Continue on with Satan’s work! uh, expressing your concern for equal rights and opportunities for men and women I mean.
@Cheryl Don’t worry, I find it hilarious and also interesting how with one breath the Duggar lovers are telling me not to judge the Duggars and then in the next breath calling me a whore for saying I value my independence and would find it hard to be monitored 24/7. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to go slut it up at the grocery store. I’m even going to wear pants.
I’m reminded of the memoir of a young Spanish woman. She was born into an old, family of nobility in Spain, the kind that has its own chapel & family priest. She was sent to convent school in England, where the nuns told the girls that there are never just two people in a room, but three–the two humans + the Devil. Yeesh. By young adulthood, she had finally had it with the old Spanish way of doing things, with the Church, & with the male hierarchy in general. She, too, married young, but got completely skeeved out by the priest constantly pressing for details about her sex life during her weekly confessions. During the Civil War, she volunteered to help the poor, principally at orphanages, because once the shooting started, the nuns & priests hit the road, leaving the children behind. She remembered trying to help a young girl out of her chemise so that she could take a bath & the poor kid nearly had a conniption–the nuns having convinced her that is was a sin to be naked, even to bathe. Religious dogma can do so much damage, in so many different ways.
The Duggars SHOULD make everyone gag. Stay strong on the anti-you rhetoric. Be smug and forgive them.
Ooh, good one. They’ll hate that!
YOU IN DANGER, GIRL!
In all seriousness, good for you for sticking up for your beliefs.
I can’t understand someone thinking they’re being a “good” Christian and feeling its right to deny half the population education. Jesus was down with the ladies! He had, according to doctrine, TONS of lady followers. So for their particular brand to be like “god gave woman the ability to have children, and all he had left for men was silly old wisdom” (paraphrased from jimbob, kid you not) is just…. unapologetically wrong and full of sh!t.
That is why I hate the Duggars so much. They present such a perverted view of Christianity. I have, sadly, met atheist and agnostic people who will sometimes say “How can you be part of the same religion as people like them? Doesn’t that bother you?” And yes, it bothers me, but especially because they act as though their version is correct. I spent years in a theology program. Most Christians who have undertaken a serious study of the Bible, it’s history and how it came to be, come out liberal. That’s because once you really, really read it with a critical eye, you realize that a lot of stuff people think is in there, well, isn’t. The Bible largely does not comdemn gay people. It is not pro-corporal punishment. Jesus was emphatically pro-equality. All that stuff that the fundamentalists want to be there, well, it largely isn’t.
If I could recommend something, if you ever get the chance, read a book called Just Love by a nun named Margaret Farley. The book is considered a major milestone in Christian ethics around sex and morals. The author is Catholic but examined the Bible from the viewpoint of having no religion, and the conclusions she comes up with are pretty amazing.
I’m an atheist and I know that the majority of Christians find this type of repression repugnant! This is a perverted view of a mellow doctrine. The OT is the one filled with fire, hate, and brimstone. Are they confused?
Clearly, you need some education on the issue: denying women education is only a human rights issue when foreign brown people with guns are doing it. When good old white Americans are doing it on State soil with government on their side, it’s merely a way of assuring women are on the right path to becoming good Christian breeders.
I wonder if they (Duggars) plan their wedding to correlate with their ovulation?
LMAO!
Now that you mention it, I bet they do!
Never thought of that! Unfortunately, I would not put it past them them to do such a thing.
According to viewers who watch the show, they always thought this girl would be the wayward one… and I’m not convinced she’s lost that. Marriage is a way to be free in their culture, so…
I thought that was Jinger.
Yeah, I have a guilty-pleasure-reality-tv binge when my good shows go on hiatus, and sometimes I’ll get sucked into Duggarland. My bet has always been Jinger or Joy-Anna, but now I have some small bit of hope for Jana.
Guilty as charged to the crime of watching this show since it started. I just find their lives so foreign from my own that its fascinating…
Jessa has always been the sassy sister. She’s vivacious (although woefully under-educated), and sharp. Years ago the Duggar clan went to an anti-science museum that explained how the dinosaurs are clearly fiction, and how the earth could only be 6,000-10,000 years old. Jessa made some tongue-in-cheek comments which struck me at the time as seeming subversive and disbelieving.
Sadly, based on her recent foray into social media, she’s clearly drinking the cool-aid again. Still, if any of the sisters seemed like runners, she’s the one I’d bet my money on. Husband seems like he’ll do whatever Jessa says too, no matter what their religion’s view on husband-wife relations, Jessa wears the pants. I mean, Ben moved into her dad’s garage and served as the Duggar groundskeeper, just to be closer to her.
Yeah, but there is the whole Duggar fame/money thing going on. He moves in and marries her, and he’s on national TV as a famous fundie, getting celeb status within their community and lauded as an example to the world. It’s not like he’s moving in over a garage and doing groundsman work in any normal set-up.
Not a lot of reality on reality TV, after all. As the Honey Boo Boo mess shows.
She doesn’t owe it to anyone to kiss her man in front of an audience. Give it a rest. As far as not having cake, bfd. Her wedding, her choice.
I’m with you! I’d want that first kiss to be private, too.
Yeah, but I wouldn’t want my first kiss to be AFTER my wedding either!! So odd.
In some way, the rejection of the white dress, the cake and the whole private kiss was somewhat subversive, an exercise of her independence. Its as rebellious as Jessa could be without openly causing a scene.
I’ll call her rebellious if she ends up only having six or seven kids.
I actually heard it was not Jessa’s choice to forgo the cake. Her sister Jill handed out 300 cupcakes to 1000 guests. The Duggars were apparently fine with only feeding 30% of the people who came to the wedding. I have no idea if only 30% brought wedding presents but even if they didn’t, that is tacky. No one said they had to invite more people than they could afford to feed. I think Jim Bob and Michelle are refusing to pay for cakes and since they keep marrying off their young daughters who have no income of their own, Jim Bob and Michelle get to dictate the terms of the weddings. They obviously have no intentions to stop micro-managing the lives of their offspring. They won’t even let their oldest daughter get married and pretend to have autonomy. And I think Jim Bob knew Jessa would run if he allowed her to grow up enough to start asserting her own ideas so he married her off to a teenager two years younger who has no job so they would remain dependent on her parents. Call me a cynic but these people belong to a cult that worships patriarchy.
I don’t think anyone thinks she owed anyone a front row seat to her first kiss. I think the criticism is that her first kiss with the man she is marrying is happening AFTER her wedding to that man. That’s weird. She wouldn’t have needed to worry about sharing her first kiss with 1000 people if she’d just been normal and done it beforehand. And before you tell me “her choice,” save it. They’ve chosen to televise their existence. People are going to have opinions.
It is her choice. Being on television doesn’t mean she owes anyone anything. Period.
No, but people don’t owe her blind acceptance of her choices, either. She can do as she chooses, and publicise it as the best and most moral way to live… and people can comment on it just as freely. That’s part of being in the public eye while purporting to live a life that’s a general moral example.
Freedom of speech and action doesn’t mean freedom from response and alternative opinion.
It wasn’t her choice, it was her parents choice. Her life is sad and her parents are demented losers.
I don’t think anyone is owed their kiss. I think it’s more eyebrow raising for most people because sex is pretty fundamental to a non-celibate marriage, and not even having a basic idea of physical chemistry makes it much harder to gauge how that will work out as the relationship progresses. I hope for both their sakes that they wind up compatible in a way that satisfies them both.
In their culture, it doesn’t matter if she’s satisfied or not – sex is only for procreation or whenever the husband wants it. The wife has no choice but to submit and endure it – if she happens to get enjoyment from it that’s just a bonus.
I agree Lucky. I just hope for her sake that her husband isn’t a selfish prick and that she’s able to open up sexually with him. Otherwise, that’s a lot of years of thinking about England.
Yes, it seems odd to make a big deal out of their decision to have their first kiss in private rather than in front of the admiring throng. Likewise their choice of post-wedding foods. Cake isn’t universal (I prefer pie myself). The point of a public wedding is actually to have witnesses to the marriage contract. I doubt that kissing is done everywhere or at every time in human history.
Arranged marriages are quite common in the past and present. I knew a woman from India who had an arranged marriage- she was in the US working on her PhD in physics. She hardly saw her husband while she was in school, he was busy somewhere else doing something. She wasn’t oppressed, it was just a practical arrangement for purposes of raising a family eventually. She could have refused that particular guy if she didn’t like the choice, as is more common than you might think. But you can learn to love just about anybody if they’re decent people and you get to know them. It’s all about your expectations for marriage, having to come up with your own choice is kind of chaotic when you think about it. Dating services are popular for a reason, beyond school it’s really hard to find compatible people with similar goals. Yes, the Duggars have led relatively isolated lives. But that has not actually been an uncommon situation in human history. Doesn’t mean they won’t be happy while they do their best to outbreed the rest of us heretics.
My thoughts are that I respect that they wanted to kiss in private, it is their first time and if they don’t want all the people and the cameras to catch that, it’s their choice. I love that she wore a blush dress. I don’t care for cake either, so that doesn’t bother me. I am all having a wedding you enjoy and want and they just did that.
However, this Ben boy is odd and seems a bit creepy. Jessa never really seemed that much in love (like her sister Jill who was head over heals).
I only want to comment on the first kiss situation. I feel that by saying I’m a liberal Catholic, you pretty much know my stance on all of this.
But I like that their first kiss was private. It has got to be weird to do that in front of everyone. Plus you’re then expected to have sex for the first time the same day you had your first kiss? That’s got to be shocking. At least to me it definitely would be. Plus did anyone see her sister’s wedding? She lunged at her husband for the kiss. & then they ran down the aisle into a private room to what I can only assume was get to at least second base, and then left the reception as quickly as possible. It was aaaaaawkard.
I was glad they didn’t kiss in front of the church. I watched Jill’s wedding and Jim Bob was so overly interested in their kissing it made me uncomfortable. Jessa probably didn’t want to have a repetition of that at her wedding. She does have somewhat of a mind of her own.
I agree with y’all. Jill’s wedding was awkward & Jim Bob downright creepy. Just, ick. Way overly involved in his daughter’s sex life. His numerous comments on the subject–at the wedding!–were completely inappropriate.
If you’ve already waited all this time (although I don’t know why!) I can’t say I actually blame them for wanting to kiss first in private. Remember that AWFUL first kiss that was all over the internet from the Virgin Diaries?
OMG. That was the funniest shit ever!
Anyone know what happened to that couple? Any follow up info?
Good for them hope they’re happy, no need to stay hateful and mean things about them because you don’t agree with there lifestyle.
If you really think these Duggar girls are happy, you’re delusional.
What makes you think they are not happy? They have lived this way their whole lives they know nothing else.
Exactly!!
I’d agree with that, if their lifestyle wasn’t a hateful one.
Go look up blanket training, and “how to train up a child” – a book by Michael Pearl that they promote. It includes such grains of wisdom as keeping a plumbing coil in your pocket to hit your children with.
Here’s an excerpt from the book :
If you are just beginning to institute training on an already rebellious child, who runs from discipline and is too incoherent to listen, then use whatever force is necessary to bring him to bay. If you have to sit on him to spank him then do not hesitate. And hold him there until he is surrendered. Prove that you are bigger, tougher, more patiently enduring and are unmoved by his wailing. Defeat him totally. Accept no conditions for surrender. No compromise. You are to rule over him as a benevolent sovereign. Your word is final. (To Train Up A Child, page 49)
Here’s some blanket training info: What they do is place a baby on a blanket and tell the baby not to get off. If the baby crawls off, he or she is spanked on the leg, told “no,” and placed back on the blanket. If you do this for long enough, the baby will learn to stay on the blanket, and then you can safely leave the baby there while you cook lunch or school the older ones. This all seems counter to the nature of a naturally curious baby.
Ever wonder why they look so happy?
One of the creepiest things about Gothard and the Pearls is that they teach that happy is the only acceptable emotion. If you do not have a joyful countenance, you are publicly shaming your authorities. In other words, if the kid looks unhappy, it is a personal offense against the parents. Pearl also has nauseating quotes and anecdotes about how any time his kids expressed unhappiness or anger they were hit even harder and longer until they were cheerful. How twisted is that? Children are taught from babyhood to always be cheerful, or else they deserve a spanking. As they grow older, it is not just the fear of a spanking that causes them to keep smiling. It is the sincere belief that they are sinning with ingratitude, rebellion and more if they don’t present a happy face.
Ugh. Both sad and sickening.
opinions like those quotes from the book make my blood boil. since when do people “train” babies?! sorry to state what I am sure is obvious to the readers of this site, but babies are to be raised and looked after and not trained! I would not subject a dog to this blanket training (not only a horrendous thing but also so against nature of what babies are supposed to be doing) never mind an actual baby. this is designed to break babies character and not raise them. after that type of conditioning those poor souls have no bloody chance for normal life! really, really sad
The Pearls are disgusting proponents of child abuse. Would the Duggars rabid fans like the show as much if the abuse of blanket training was filmed? TLC candy coats so much of these cultists lives.
Michelle wasn’t raised that way, but it explains why she’s always impossible cheerful.
It’s especially heartbreaking when you realize that children have actually DIED from abuse in homes where the parents utilize this type of system: http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2011/10/03/did_the_disturbing_philosophy_of_how_to_train_up_a_child_lead_to.html
Now, a part of me thinks that people who abuse children can’t be led to do so by a book. Part of me tends to believe that people who could treat another person so terribly must be inclined towards that type of behavior all on their own, and they gravitate towards the book because it justifies their desires. But the book it vile in and of itself, and anybody who could endorse it really drops down a notch in my eyes.
The horrible thing is that its not even Biblical. The Old Testament makes passing reference to “the rod,” however, theologians aren’t even sure the verses are speaking to actual physical punishment. The rod often referred to a walking stick or staff, and many people read “the rod” as an exhortation towards strong guidance of a child, not hitting them. And even if you believe that, Jesus changed it when he spoke about the specialness of children and how valuable they are to the faith. And how do you get “blanket training” or “hitting with a plumbing tool” from the Bible? You don’t. Again, this stuff makes me embarassed to be a Christian.
ERINN glad you quoted all that. People need to know!!!
That’s heartbreaking. I can only hope the “buddy system” means the younger kids were/are spared it.
Frightening. Repellent. So upsetting. I grieve for all children growing up this way. That explains something I saw on the Duggar TV show, something Jim Bob said about teaching the kids to control their emotions–even so far as to not screaming after breaking your jaw in an accident.
My husband and I were going to elope but his mom threw a huge deal about so I let her plan the wedding. I specifically said NO CAKE, I hate cake! I show up and there’s cake, because it’s just not a wedding without cake. Ugh whatever!
I had similar issues so I feel ya there. I wanted to elope but it was my dad who made the big deal. No one forced their own agenda too hard but I really wanted pie instead of cake and, like on so many other things, ended up caving and having cake. I say wait until a significant anniversary and have a renewal/do-over. 😉
LOL, my mom did the same thing at my sister’s wedding. She and her husband just wanted cupcakes (which were delicious), but my mom insisted on a cake just so they could get a shot of them cutting it. They wound up going with a cheap little Walmart cake, of which I think I was the only one who had a piece, haha.
Honestly weddings are not just about the bride, and cake makes people happy.
Reminds me of the time a couple if friends of mine had a potluck wedding reception with homemade carrot cake (in the traditional pans)….
This is slightly off topic, but Duggar related…
Before the television show, how did Jim Bob financially support all of those kids? What about their health insurance? It just boggles my mind that anyone can afford to have that many children.
Jim Bob was some kind of elected official for a term, so he and his kids get their medical insurance paid by the state, like, forever! And their religion is tax-exempt too, so their lifestyle is funded in great part by those evil moderates and heathen unbelievers who actually pay their taxes…
So, in other words, Jim Bob is working the system.
He owns rental properties – commercial and residential. And I believe they were also pretty broke before the show too. He was also a state senator for one term.
From what I remember reading, they relied a great deal on the generosity of others in their first years together.
Then they learned how to grift.
Car salesman, first. Which says it all.
I cannot stand these people. That said, Ben has been giving off major creeper vibes. There’s just something about him. I hope I’m wrong, but I feel like he could very well turn out to be controlling and abusive to Jessa.
Me, too. I think her appeal to him is that she has been taught to be so submissive to men. We will see.
Yes! Major creeper vibes from that kid.
I will give them credit, though, for not making their first kiss public, which I’m guessing will be one of the few intelligent decisions they make. Oh, and am I the only one that smells a “Watch the Duggar Sisters Pop Out More Children” spin-off series in the works??? You all know it’s coming….
Wouldn’t be surprising. Women from fundamentalist backgrounds are prime targets for potential abusers. They tend to target the vulnerable and submissive.
As strange as this family seems to me, this is their normal. She probably will conceive on her wedding night just as her sister did. I think their world is getting a little fancier though with all of the Duggars on twitter. I think a modest girl would have kept the fact she wanted to share her first kiss in private to herself. Jinger used to seem like the one who could escape, but now she talks like all the rest of them. I have excellent gaydar and I’m sure one of the boys is gay. What a life he’s going to have. I won’t call him out, but his name starts with a “J.”
LOL
With a “J”, you say, Gina? Well, that narrows it down…
You are not sure one of the boys is gay. That is, unless you’ve seen him having sex with another boy. If that is true, then I apologize, but the whole idea of gaydar is really offensive. Gays don’t look different from straights, they don’t smell differently, they don’t work or play differently. This idea that people get a feeling about somebody’s sexuality is really creepy.
I believe they kissed but in a separate private room.
I hate that this is a discussion we are having.
These two got married so they could bone. It has nothing to do with God.
Agree 100%.
Yup. Except to the extent that Jim-Bob insists it does (have to do with God), which the girls are forced to go along with.
Totally, and is have a feeling there is going to be d-r-a-m-a with these two.
Has nothing to do with love either.
Where are they going to live? How are they goi g to support themselves? He’s 19 and doing odd jobs for Jim bob! He lives in their “guest house”, which I have read is like a barn with a bucket to pee in (exaggerated, but still).
It’s only a slight exaggeration, sadly.
And how’d he pay for that diamond ring on a handyman’s wages? If Jim Bob even pays him, that is. He does get room & board.
Not enough desks in the world to bang my head against.
I wish coverage of this cult would cease.
Meh, They just do as they do and I dont think its for making statements or for pushing their ideas on others. If the show was all about them preaching to the world no one would watch it so Im not sure they’re putting themselves out there as models. In all honesty, I dont watch the show and I am Catholic so they probably dont want my “help.” Haha. Im just not easily offended by how others choose to live their lives.
His hair looks like a helmet.
He’s 19. Oh my. Michele has taught her daughters to keep their legs spread at all times. She says anyone can make their husband’s lunch, but only the wife can do the horizontal bop with with him (or so she thinks). So she’s basically telling her daughters to be a sperm dumpster and keep making more kids to take care of the other kids. These over the top standing on a hilltop Christians give a bad name to us regular Christian folk who usually call it a large family nowadays with three kids. Flipping zealots!
Does that explain the chia pet thingy? I’m not sure. It looks desperate to start growing toward his face.
Ahhaha. If you ever watched the show you’ll see. I watched like a mini marathon on a Sunday and the kid is creepy. He’s not bad looking but tries to ugly himself down when he puts on his John Lennon glasses and combs his wiry hair down. The sisters seem to prefer boys (really we can’t call him a man at 19) with some sort of hair growth on the face. I hear that’s why they only suck on Smith Brothers cough drops.
So I was home sick by myself yesterday and I watched my first episode ever of “19 kids and counting,” and it happened to be the one where Jill got married. (I like watching wedding stuff, don’t judge me.) What annoyed me was that Ben INTERRUPTED THE RECESSIONAL because he was jealous that his fiancée was holding someone else’s arm! He jumped up as they walked by and took her away from the other guy who was IN THE WEDDING PARTY. Insecure much? What a total douche. This does not bode well for things to come. :-/
That’s so rude! He couldn’t wait like a normal guy until they walked back out? So ridiculous, and he’s way too immature to get married now.
I also fully believe Jessa chose not to kiss at the wedding because she’s not into this guy & it would be too awkward to fake being excited to kiss him in front of all those people that are expecting her to be thrilled about doing it.
I’m sure that no kiss at wedding was his idea, not hers. But like a robotic… oops… I mean dutiful wife, she went along with it.
^^This.
I have to disagree about 3 months is too little to marry someone: I’ve seen longtime engaged couples split after one year of marriage, marriage splittinig after 20 years and marriage lasting even if the couple was engaged for two months. We cant know.
I agree. In my experience, marriage longevity seems to have more to do with how couples work out differences. If one (or both) of them ignores problems, or refuses to ever compromise, those marriages seem to have the most issues, or lead to divorce.
I haven’t watched this show in a long time, but I used to a few years ago. I’m not worried about Jessa. She can hold her own. If anyone was going to get pushed around by a guy, it would be Jana or Jill. Jill’s husband seems nice (but you never know) and Jana is still being pushed around by her parents.
I’m kind of ashamed I know this but they actually dated (“courted”) for about a year and their engagement was 2.5 months.
Well, I know no couples who got to together that fast who lasted and I’ve seen plenty of couples come and go in my 47 years. If you want a lasting relationship, it’s probably a good idea to know the person before you marry them. You do not know someone after only three months no matter how many stars are in your eyes.
She “doesn’t like cake?!” That’s it. These people are evil and must be stopped.
Seriously. That right there is the devil’s work.
OK, I’m just going to say it. I don’t get the no kissing until after the wedding. In my slu… dating person… days, I ran into so many bad kissers. If he doesn’t have much experience either, it could be very very bad. Why risk it? Surely a premarital kiss does not doom you to eternal hellfire, even in their weird fundamental religion.
I’ll bet she got pregnant beforehand, and they didn’t kiss in front of everyone because people would’ve been able to tell it wasn’t their first time.
The way some people live & worship completely drives others to distraction. So much so, they get worked up, resort to name calling & hateful behavior. WHY? I don’t think or live like the Duggars, but they dont bother me one bit.
They work as speakers at events that are involved with restricting the rights of gays and women here and abroad.
I would not mind if they did gods work, but they are trying to do gods job.
Grifters like the Duggars are irksome and dangerous.
They courted for over an year. There were articles on this very website about them “dating”. Two- and- a half months was how long they were engaged.
I think they are very well suited- both are ignorant and hateful.
Any bets that they’ll announce she’s knocked up a month from now? “She got pregnant on the wedding night!” Riiiight.
1) They courted for over a year, and fundies dont believe in long engagements for whatever reason.
2) I’m gonna go ahead and say this WASN’T their first kiss. I really think they kissed before marriage (no sex though) and Jim Bob didn’t want them up there proclaiming to God that it was their first kiss. Just sayin..
My first kiss was behind a tree witnessed only by squirrels. I wouldn’t wish 1, 000 witnesses to an awkward first kiss on even the most bizarre cult members.
Jessa is very pretty and very photogenic. I can’t wait for at least one of these kids to get a real life. They don’t have turn into drunks or druggies or anything bad. Just let one get a real life with a real job and one who uses birth control and reads books and believes in being educated with one’s peers because there is more to school then just the getting book learning. That’s it. That is all I have. Good luck to them.
This is a family where the boys have to put their heads down when girls pass so they’re not tempted. Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. Somehow I don’t think that’s what the Word had in mind when this scripture was written. Innocent flirtation or interaction hardly seems unholy to me. Being born into this family, I doubt there are going to be any 9 to 5 situations going on. If they take everything as gospel, they should have taken a hint when Jubliee was dead in the womb of a woman who already has 19 kids that need her love and attention. God has to be sad that so many of his faithful followers are actually living their own selfish religion and making up the rules as they go. The end.
Twenty kids, odds are there will be a rebel in there somewhere and I know legions of people who have rejected their childhood faith and gone on to live happy lives outside of Utah.
For some bizarre reason I want one of those kids, preferably one of the girls, to turn out to be a math whiz. TLC won’t show it to us, of course, because JB & Michelle wouldn’t want that to get out, because they’d just sit on that child & discourage her talents. A math whiz could do so many things in life! Outside of the house! Imagine!
They were engaged for 2 1/2 months before their wedding, they courted for 11 or 12 months before getting engaged- they actually courted longer than most in their family.
Jim bob and michelle met just 14 months before marrying.
why do people pay attention to this dumb family. Bunch of dumbasses.
I REALLY get the impression she’s not happy having him as the choice of husband Jim Bob made for her. Not wanting to kiss during the wedding ceremony is just the most recent indication. I saw a recent episode (I think when they were moving Jill into her new McMansion?) and they asked Jessa what kind of house she wanted when she got married. She said something small, like a tiny little cottage, because it would be less work and easier to clean. Ben looked at her and you could tell he wasn’t happy with her answer. It was obvious that he wanted a house at least as big as Jill & Derick’s. She’s almost 22 years old and has literally already spent half her life cleaning and taking care of a house full of people, I don’t blame her for wanting a small house. She’s also said that she wants to adopt a lot of kids – I took that to mean she wanted to have as few pregnancies as possible, by sleeping with this guy as little as she could.
I’m curious where they’re going to live now, though. Is she going to move into the “guest house” with him? Do they get the house that Josh & Anna used to live in? Enquiring minds want to know, hahaha.
I had to squint really hard to see that diamond.
I hope the sex was good on the wedding night. She bought the car without taking a test drive. Always risky.
I’ve dated a few guys where it was a good thing I found out what he could do in the sack before making some kind of lifelong commitment.
I find it very interesting (okay, exasperating) that so many people like Ma Dugger, who clearly have psychological issues, don’t deal with them. Instead, they turn their neuroses into a lifestyle and because it is a lifestyle, they gain legitimacy in their eyes and the eyes of some people around them. Meanwhile, they never have to deal with their underlying issues and any woman in this day and age who needs twenty kids has mental issues. We’re not living in the days of high infant mortality and families needing many little hands to help out on the farm. There really is no need for that many kids beyond some kind of psychological satisfaction.
Really, what is the difference between Ma Dugger and the Octomom, except Dugger punched them out one at a time and has a husband.
*shakes head in disbelief* Ma Dugger’s uterus is busier than Grand Central Station as rush hour. That can’t be easy on her body.
She really believes that her worth as a woman is in making more babies. Sad, but true. It does seem psychologically unsound, but under the guise of religion, she’s gaining praise when what she really needs is help.
They were engaged for two-and-a-half months before they got married; that doesn’t mean that their courtship was two-and-a-half months. They dated for almost a year before they got engaged.