I have a new hero today, and his name is Simon Cowell. The man tells it like it is, and he is usually about 95% right of the time. He’s the voice of reason between Paula’s Vicodin-laced ramblings and Randy’s Dog Pound.

Simon Cowell, in his infinite wisdom, has told Britney Spears via Good Morning America to “go home to your family” as a way of getting her life and career back on track.

Praise the Lord, someone said it. I hope she listens to Simon, too. He didn’t make his trillion dollars for being stupid, you know.

Here’s People’s recap:

In an interview with Good Morning America on Thursday, Cowell tells ABC news correspondent Juju Chang that Spears is perfectly capable of saving her career because she’s “still one of the most talked about pop stars on the planet.”

“She has the X-factor because people want to write about her,” Cowell says. “She’s not conventional, she’s not normal.”

At the same time, Cowell says that Britney “can’t handle the tension and the pressure” that comes from being in the spotlight so she needs to refocus herself at home.

“Lock the door, don’t go out with your stupid friends, have some home-cooked food, get a sense of reality,” he says. “Go lie in the garden, okay? And then say to yourself, ‘There’s more good in my life than bad. I’m still a rich, talented girl – now I want to get my career back on track.’ End of story.”

You know what Simon forgot to add on that list? The fact that Brit needs a BLOODY STYLIST. It should be number one on her comeback list, written in capital letters on a huge 50 foot billboard outside of her house so that she can’t miss it.

If I clap any harder at this man’s comments, my hands are going to chap. Bravo, Simon, for being the only professional music industry person to tell this girl what everyone’s thinking. Hopefully what is next on his agenda is for him to have a word with Lindsay Lohan to tell her that writhing on the floor with no panties on does not make you Oscar material.