Yesterday we reported on a brief update from People Magazine on the state of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner’s relationship. People had just a quick quote that nothing had changed since we last heard about them (through sources), and that they were still working together to maintain a semblance of normalcy for their kids. I naively noted in that article that it was possible that People was making a story where there was none, although even in that case there are tabloid articles to refute and paparazzi photos to explain.
My hope was that Ben and Jen were tamping down the constant leaks to the press from their PR team, and that they would lay low for a bit. Well that didn’t happen because later on Monday E! had an entire article about how they’re coping, how Jen is taking everything, and how she didn’t want the news of Ben’s affair with the nanny to get out. This seems like overkill of course, the quotes could have been cut by half and we would have more than enough information, but it does confirm the timeline for me about their divorce. Here’s some of E!’s article:
“There was a lot of tension between them for a while, but it wasn’t all about the nanny,” a source close to the couple tells E! News. “It’s never easy for a couple going through a split.”
And as the scandal started to fade from public consciousness, so did the drama behind closed doors. According to sources we have spoken to about the situation, the person who could be forgiven for being the last to forgive Ben is starting to come to terms with what happened.
“It’s not as fresh in her mind and some of the shock has worn off,” one pal says. “She will never forget about it, but she’s also not harping on it every day.”
That being said, another source close to the duo adds, “There are still a lot of issues, but she has put them aside for the sake of the her family.”
“She has not forgiven him for things that have happened, but she’s committed to keeping her children happy,” the source says. “But that sometimes means doing what she would rather not do.”
We now know that when the story broke, as everyone was trying to find out who exactly Christine was, Jennifer Garner was already very familiar with her. She had fired the nanny weeks before after Ben took Christine to Las Vegas with him (a trip that also caused an issue for Ben’s best pal Tom Brady and his supermodel wife, Gisele).
Jen was coming to terms with the perceived betrayal, though the friend tells us, “She didn’t think the story would ever come out.”
And two months later, she’s trying to forgive Ben. “She is pleased the story has died down and her kids don’t have to hear about it,” the friend says. “She really just wanted it to go away as fast as possible. Behind closed doors she is dealing with her own personal feelings and how to process what happened.”
But in recent weeks, Ben and Jen have been spending an increasing amount of time together, even stepping out for a dinner date at Nobu, and things are looking up—a far cry from the frosty atmosphere that immediately resulted from Nannygate.
“Jennifer really loves Ben and wants to be able to forgive him for the drama,” says another friend. “She isn’t going to ever stop loving him. He’s the father of her kids and she wants him in their lives.
“She’s been able to put aside their differences and focus on the future. Her kids come first and being able to co-parent is her priority. Ben wants the same thing and that’s helped. They’ve had to come together to make decisions regarding their kids. Jennifer wants to share it with Ben. That’s brought them together.”
And Jen’s determined to move on so that she can raise her kids in a healthy environment, we’re told.
“Not a lot has changed since they split up as far as the kids are concerned,” the pal continued. “Ben and Jen trade off taking them to school, depending on whose schedule is free that day. Sometimes they get coffee in the morning or take the kids to karate or for ice cream after school. They do a lot of stuff together, by choice. Even though just one of them could go and get the kids, they’ve been making an effort to both go together.”
One of our family insiders reiterates, “Jen’s number one priority is the kids and always has been…When they spend time together, it is for the kids.”
Jen and Ben also took up another joint pursuit since the split: They have started going to church. According to the insider, it was Jennifer’s idea, but Ben was very amenable to all of it.
“On the weekends they spend a lot of family time together with outings to the farmers market and church,” the source tells us. “He is definitely going along with what she wants and doing the best he can to fix things. Although he has been scouting for his new movie on location, he flies home to be with the family whenever possible.”
But the thawing of the tension between the former lovebirds doesn’t mean they will ever get back together. Says another insider: “Inevitably, there are still feelings there but a lot has changed between them.”
OMG just stop. The press is not your best friend or your therapist. We don’t need to know all this, and the story has been told umpteen times in various quotes and photo ops. Is this preparing us for a reconciliation? I would rather see Jen get out now and quit taking this dog back, but he is her kids’ father and she seems to want to forgive him.
As I mentioned this does confirm the divorce announcement timeline and the news about the nanny. They announced their divorce right after Jen found out about the nanny. She didn’t want that to come out, though and didn’t confirm the story (through sources) until Christine Ouzounian seized her 15 minutes. E! also reports that Ouzounian is “still living at her parents’ house in Santa Monica and trying to get her life back on track… she is looking for opportunities but nothing has come of it yet.” She won’t be able to go back to being a nanny at all that’s for sure.
Jennifer Garner is shown out with her son, Samuel, on 10-12-15. Ben is shown with daughter Seraphina on 10-11-15. Jen and Ben are shown together on 10-4-15 and 9-4-15 (header). Credit: FameFlynet
I have mixed feelings. I’m all for keeping things civil for the kids, but can you really “get over” infidelity that fast? She can’t possibly have come to a point where she’s not angry anymore, so what’s with the fake normalcy? Can’t kids see through that? I don’t know, their whole thing is wearing thin to me. I’m not buying it.
GNAT, maybe she read Michelle Duggar’s blog and had a change of heart. 😉
More seriously, all of your questions are legit. Maybe they are keeping peace for the upcoming holidays and/or Violet’s 10th birthday. The 10-year mark is big and perhaps it reminds them of happier times in the beginning of their relationship, something that could be possibly be rekindled. (Don’t mean to be philosophical here but my twins are turning 10 this year and it’s pretty momentous!)
Well, hopefully the kids dont know about the cheating. They must be aware that mum&dad are not ok but its critical they not think this is WW3, even in the face of divorce. Adult drama should stay between adults. And further more shouldnt be played out where your kids will hear about it. For an average couple this means dont fight in the middle of your street and expect your gossipy neighbors not to feed your kids horrible commentary. For a celebrity couple this means if the drama leaks into the media, its your job to clean it up best you can so that your kids dont have to put up with snide recaps from mean class mates or jealous teachers.
I don’t know, but sometimes you need to go through the motions until you get to a place where you can actually stop being angry. I had this huge conflict with a colleague which had included a big betrayal on her side and instead of not doing projects together for a while we were thrown together for everything. It worked, I can now work with her, be civil and not feel as angry as I used to.
It seems that all this PR guff is leading up to Jen taking the cheating dog back. All the cute family outings and dinner dates documented by the paps and going to church (are you kidding me?) are trying to make the case that Ben is a changed man and worthy of a second chance. If Jen does take him back, she is a total doormat and more heartbreak will follow. Thank goodness for some women with backbone and self-esteem like Liberty Ross and Paula Patton.
My guess also
I wouldn’t be surprised if she took him back.
I also think they will get back together. What a shame. What a bad, bad example for their kids. I can’t believe all of this stupid narrative. They’re no better than Chris Brown and Karrueche Tran at this point, and at least those two didn’t have kids (with each other).
Shame on you Jennifer Garner. I was kinda rooting for you but you totally suck.
This is all so weird and purposely public that I maintain it’s all about the Batman movie. Affleck’s media tour for the movie is going to be a clusterf*ck between PBS and the divorce. He either promised Jen a big cut or he’s playing her until after the movie’s released.
I know she’s an actress but Garner’s smiley church/farmers market pics kill me. Affleck has looked miserable with her in almost every shot for most of their relationship; how we’re supposed to buy what they’re selling is beyond me.
who cares
I guess many persons when you see how Garner and Affleck and their RP work hard .All these staged pics …
Garner is doing what she always does…all for the kids and her “perfect wife” image. Affleck plays the game for the kids ( i’ m nice) and Warner Bros until Batman/Superman ‘s release .
In clear,they were unhappy during their marriage and they continue to be unhappy during their breakup because of their RP images
People really dont understand how blockbuster comic films work if they think a divorce would affect ticket sales in any way. If not even the cult revelations in Going Clear could affect Tom Cruises tour, why would a small thing like a cheating star affect a film marketted at male audiences? Ben wants his nanny past scrubbed clean but thats because he is image obsessed and has little to do with Warner Bros. Really, if he is still with Jen come next year, its not because of image, its because they actually want to stay in the marriage.
I’ve often wondered about this myself — if I really want to see a particular movie, I’m going to go see it irrespective of any marital or relationship difficulties the actors are having ffs.
I would Agee it’s you, if not for the fact that Warner Bros did step in. When the pictures of the nanny came out on the plane TMZ started posting articles from Ben “friends” saying how he’s all about his family and so on. TMZ is owned by you guessed it Warner Bros and at the same time we got pictures of Ben smiling and happy family photos.
@Neah23 That was just Ben taking advantage of synchronicity (or whatever Jack Donaghuey would call it). The studio doesnt care, this has no effect on ticket sales. Ben on the other hand is obsessive over his personal image, so he exploits every possible relationship to work that image. Be it getting his bff to talk smack about his past SOs or calling Warner bro favors from his studio handlers.
I thought it was because he’s clearly nursing some longer term political ambitions.
Keeping the family angle and image policing makes more sense to me in that regard.
I understand trying to maintain a civil relationship with an estranged spouse when children are involved. What I don’t get is the ever present stories that are just the same thing over and over again.
Yeah, that’s admirable she wants to forgive him, but I doubt it’s happened so soon. He’s been a cheat for years. The nanny was just the latest and most personal betrayal.
“She’s not harping on it every day.” Good for her. No one likes a harpie. She should get advice from happily married Jill Duggar. If your man goes out for a sandwich, it’s because you didn’t make him lunch. I think that was it?
That word stopped me too. Horrible choice of words. Made me wonder about the source of the story.
Yes! In my experience, women are accused of “harping” and “nagging” when men deserve it. Oh, she’s not harping on him CHEATING WITH THEIR NANNY every day? Thank goodness, no one likes a harper.
I think Ben regrets everything but not for the right reasons.
The nanny thing made him look pathetic, and while he is ok with being seen as an alcoholic, a gambler and a cheater, he is not OK with pathetic.
So now he is playing Jen’s game and I bet he would get back together with her to repair his image.
As for her, I think she is so disillusioned by the whole thing that she totally would take him back for the kids. I’m sad for her.
Doormat.
She does strike me as a bit of a doormat. I’m trying to find something positive to say, because these two are confusing. I wonder if she is still in love w Ben? She looks so happy around him lately. It’s really puzzling , but I’m terrible about reading these two. LOL
“At least a doormat doesn’t follow you through the door after you step on it.” – one of my favorite sayings.
Otherwise, I just can’t with these two anymore. Best wishes to the kids.
I can completely understand her desire to keep things “normal” for the kids by sticking to a regular routine v.s. quarantining them 24/7, but there are ways to do this without subjecting them to so much pap attention (aren’t there?).
I find some of her behaviour to be contradictory- on one hand she goes to Washington to get an anti-pap law put into place, yet she continually goes to places that are well known pap magnets (certain farmers’ markets, coffee shops and restaurants). No, I don’t believe she should change her plans to avoid them, but other celebs manage to go on about their business without being papped. Wouldn’t it be healthier for her children? Even when she’s alone, some of her behaviour doesn’t make sense …. case in point – she has an elaborate home gym and her trainer visits her in the wee hours to train her hard (Garner has mentioned this in countless interviews) yet on top of this, she goes out in public in gym attire and goes to regular gyms where she is always photographed. With all of the scrutiny she faces, you’d think she’d stick to the home gym where she can have her trainer there all day with her if she wants and even have friends over WITHOUT anyone seeing her.
Not a fan of her work, but firmly believe she is a first class parent.
I know everyone wants so badly for her to be the one that ended it. But I when I read an article like this I hear someone really desperate to stay in a relationship long after she’s been dumped. I think the nanny was his cruel and piggish way of getting her to realize he is done for real this time. I think he’s placating her for PR purposes. I mean he’s been spotted out on a date with another woman and she’s talking about forgiving him???
As if this marriage hangs on whether or not Jennifer takes him back! Hah! She’d take him back, that’s obvious. After a little timeout in a corner, because he was publicly indiscreet. No, the question is; is Ben willing to take the final leap to freedom and fuckery, despite the blowbacks?
Ugh. He looks so gross. This not not about her children, you can happily co-parent without the pretense that you are still happily together. She is only teaching her daughters that it’s normal to put up with a man who has no respect for you and cheats on you left and right. And to put up with an addict. This is all because she’s still in love with Affleck and is not ready to let go.
I hope this at least gets to Affleck apologist who still think nothing sexual happened between him and the nanny. Gardner as the wife knows for sure he was hitting it!
I agree with you that this is not just about the kids it’s more about them and their images. If this was about the kids they would have stop running to the tabloids every 5 minutes months ago and let this die. Gwen and Gavin have 3 kids and we don’t know what’s going on with them post split because they are not giving us a play by play. They could get together with the kids every Wednesday and Friday and wouldn’t know because they are focusing on their kids instead of playing happy family for the kids.
As for your last part I don’t think that’s going to happen. Another poster made a very good point which is if Ben didn’t cheat with the nanny why didn’t Jen PR team say he didn’t and call out the nanny? Instead of staying silent.
Wow. Lack of self respect much Jen?
To think they were for so long heralded as the perfect family that did not expose their children to paparazzi, all that whole foods and daily coffee parade was just them being a down to earth family….Haha
Yeah, I never got that. You would get celebrities who kids were/are only seen maybe 4 times in one month accused of pimping them out. While Jen kids were/are photographed 3 or more times a week, are being praised for giving her kids a “normal” life.
When they get called out in the comments are always “what are they supposed to do lock them up.” Lol like if celebrity kids aren’t photographed on the daily then there lock up somewhere.
Well, the nanny got a new car out of all this & maybe some $$$. Probably no movie offers from Ben or his pals.
I think cheating on your spouse is a part of normal Holywood life. They probably know about all kinds of couples who have stuck together after cheating. Maybe it’s easier for her to forgive because a lot of their freinds wives are in the same situation.
I think it ultimately is about the kids, at least for her. I think he loves his kids, but doesn’t have that connection that may come more naturally to some men. I do think he wants to be a better parent, but his reality was a broken childhood from which he didn’t learn about being a daddy. I’m not really excusing him … just saying that is a factor in all of us – we learn how to parent mostly by our own parents. I do believe he has shown that once he’s in work mode he kinda forgets about the family for the most part. She once said she had his voice recorded on stuffed animals so the kids would know his voice (?!) and put his picture on their pajamas. She may feel that to have more influence over whether these kids have any active life with their dad is in the marriage?
I think he wants the family thing, but is drawn to the wild side easily and enjoys that freedom a great deal. I can imagine it would be a struggle for, and create great difficulties between the two of them as those two lifestyles really don’t work together at all.
Maybe he wants the family thing enough to set aside some of those “freedoms” and maybe that’s where they are now – does he want that? is he really willing to commit to that? can she trust him?
I was a single parent of 3 kids, from very early in their childhood. Their dad was very minimally interested or involved because he liked his freedom as well. That was so hard on my kids and as adults they are still struggling with it. IF (this being the key word) he had been willing to work on just being a dad, I would have worked with him for my kids’ sake, too, and avoid much of what they went through. It’s a lot more complicated when kids are involved.
This is all speculation, but if those are any of the factors they are dealing with, I get it.
I knew it. I knew Jennifer would never leave him because of her feeling not so much for the kids. She’s rich and has a way out and doesn’t take it. Ben will be there till a new chick comes along. Jennifer is a doormat. You mine as well rehire the nanny.
Agree. And PLEASE Jen, just stop. I rode up in an elevator with him -very small elevator – where he was very actively checking out the chest of a MILF who was presenting at a charity event….sure looking is not that bad but it was a voracious look that told me good old Batman was a player – for sure. All I can say is NEXT.
The article does say just because tensions are down doesn’t mean they’ll get back together and that a lot has changed between them. But that still seems “open” and mainly like a non-answer to me. It seems extremely difficult to believe they could work it out at this point – as parents, yes, but as a couple, it would seem almost insurmountable for anyone. If it were just the nanny, then yes, even then I could see trying again. But after years of unhappiness on both sides, mistrust on Jen’s side, multiple near-splits, a separation prior to the nanny and then topped off with the nanny, getting back together as a couple would take years and years of work and tons of mistrust on Jen’s part (rightfully so) that Ben would have to maturely accept – even many normal couples can’t get through this. To me, they seem past the point of return as a couple, but I do believe they both adore their kids.
Also, just MHO, but I don’t think their movies coming out (particularly Ben’s) are a driving factor here. I think it’s just their personal relationship dynamic – Jen is the saver, the fighter, the one who keeps picking up the pieces and forcing it back together each time. This time, she’s just punishing him longer and more publicly. I think Ben seems weaker-willed. Although he’s unhappy, he seems like he has to be forced out of a relationship by the other person, or he forces it to end through destructive methods. True, no one is holding him hostage, but some people have weaker mental/emotional constitutions and aren’t capable of maturely making that break. And this dynamic (that I made up – LOL!) seems to keep both of them in this dysfunctional relationship. And FWIW, my personal opinion is that this would probably be a lot closer to resolution (divorce) if the nanny hadn’t become public – I think it scared Ben right back to home base.
Yes, he’s a player who wants to be a good boy….the bad boy will win! Can’t wait till he runs off with the net nanny or stripper or casino dealer!
I can see her dragging it out so that the break-up isn’t about her humiliation, but a “conscious uncoupling”.
The thing is it might be Affleck’s MO to cheat until he gets dumped because he’s too co-dependent/immature to have an adult conversation about breaking up. If that’s the case, he’ll just take it up a notch from “nanny who spent time with our kids” to someone who’s even more hurtful somehow, testing the wife’s limits/forbearance.
I would so like to see Jen do something career wise that makes a unique statement about her. She needs her identity back as a strong, smart woman! She’s been just wife and mother long enough. Be bold and rediscover you, Jen! Give your girls a glimpse of that part of you! Kick some hiney, girl!