Gwyneth gets ‘experts’ to tell us we have sad lives if we gossip about her

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Gwyneth Paltrow is continuing her moral superiority internet tour by sending out her latest GOOP newsletter. I have a feeling that despite Gwynnie’s “F*ck the haters” attitude towards the public’s reaction to her site, she really must care after all. Because it’s clear her feelings have been hurt. And while she tries to wrap up her tears in a blanket of supremacy in the form of so-called “experts,” it’s blatantly clear that Gwyneth essentially sent out an email to thousands of people that was simply meant to reassure her wounded ego. Maybe next time she should just forward it to herself.

Back in the day, I had a “frenemy” who, as it turned out, was pretty hell-bent on taking me down. This person really did what they could to hurt me. I was deeply upset, I was angry, I was all of those things you feel when you find out that someone you thought you liked was venomous and dangerous. I restrained myself from fighting back. I tried to take the high road. But one day I heard that something unfortunate and humiliating had happened to this person. And my reaction was deep relief and…happiness. There went the high road. So, why does it feel so good to hear something bad about someone you don’t like? Or someone you DO like? Or someone you don’t KNOW? I once asked the editor of a tabloid newspaper why all of the stories about a famous British couple had a negative bent. He said that when the headline was positive, the paper didn’t sell. Why is that? What’s wrong with us? I asked the sages to shed a little light.

Here’s to washing our mouths out with soap…

Love,
Gwyneth

[From GOOP]

The best part is that instead of just sticking in the massive 2,145 word tisk-tisk lecture from her experts – which chides us for our “evil” thoughts, negative energy, and mean-spiritedness for ever having the audacity to gossip (presumably about Gwyneth) – she starts off by including a question supposedly submitted by one of GOOP’s readers. We’re meant to believe that this question is the basis for the two thousand word diatribe, and not Gwyneth’s wounded soul. Presumably she has one that can be wounded.

Question:

I’m curious about the spiritual concept of “evil tongue” (speaking evil of others) and its pervasiveness in our culture. Why do people become energized when they say or read something negative about someone else? What does it say about where that person is? What are the consequences of perpetuating negativity or feeling schadenfreude?

[From GOOP]

How convenient that someone just happened to write to Gwyneth – in such familiar, superior tone – and ask about what kind of terrible people we all must be if we gossip about her? I’m sure there’s absolutely no chance she wrote that herself.

Listen honey, it’s simple. If you want people to like you, or at least write nice things about you, climb off your high horse. Otherwise, yes, people are going to delight when you fall off it. Stop telling everyone else how to live their lives, stop making it clear you think you’re better than us (or at least explain to us why you think that – I’m still puzzling over where it comes from), and try to be a grateful, humble, nice person. And if you can’t be those things, at least be quiet.

Here’s Miss Goop arriving at Claridges Hotel in London on March 13th. I wanted to caption the header photo “Bow to me peasants!” Images thanks to BauerGriffinOnline.
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55 Responses to “Gwyneth gets ‘experts’ to tell us we have sad lives if we gossip about her”

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  1. Samantha says:

    I don’t like her, but I also understand what she is saying. It is true, we do soak up the negative like a sponge, and not just in the ‘tabloid’ sense. That is why they cover such terrible stories to such depth. No one wants to hear a happy story anymore, it seems.

    That being said, I still can’t stand her and as Jaybird pointed out, when she loses her sense of entitlement then people will stop writing about her – at all. And that would be TERRIBLE for her, so she should just be grateful for the publicity all the trash talking generates for her. In all honesty, had it not been for celebitchy I never would have glanced at her GOOPy website.

  2. Ryo says:

    Please, if people didn’t “gossip” about her nobody would talk about her at all. She’s one step above having to drag her kids to premieres of stuff to get noticed. And has anyone else noticed Miss “DON’T PHOTOGRAPH MY KIDS!” is practically parading them around now?

    Get over yourself, Goopy.

  3. anastasiabeaverhausen says:

    I’m not gossiping, Gwyneth, when I say f*ck you.

    I’ve never gone from liking a celeb to feeling meh about them to downright hating them in such a short period of time as I have with her.

    What the heck happened to her? Or was she always like this and just covered it up better back in the day?

    My theory is that her marriage is all but non-existent and she’s extremely unhappy and this is how it’s coming out.

  4. heehee says:

    We know youre not important, Gwyneth- like other celebrities arent either. We just like something to fill in the time and doodle about when the itch arises.

  5. bros says:

    guess that guy’s holding some cleaning solution to wipe the goop off her.

  6. suede says:

    While she’s probably right, her handlers really shouldn’t let her speak as everything she says to try and be view in a certain way always backfires and makes her seems even more unlikeable then before. Perhaps if she spent more of her time working as an actress and less time doing whatever she thinks she’s doing to be important her popularity may go back on the rise.

  7. Whitey Fisk says:

    anastasiabea said: “What the heck happened to her? Or was she always like this and just covered it up better back in the day?”

    Excellent, excellent question. I used to like her too. I attribute it to her over-sharing her deeeep thoughts. It’s like swooning over some beautiful, mysterious stranger, only to have him open his mouth and kill the dream.

  8. n says:

    this is a laugh. she makes a living off her public persona and then complains that people respond to it.

    she’s a nitwit.

  9. FF says:

    It’s not so much that people only want to hear negatives about celebs, rather they want to know if their suspicions were right all along.

  10. Dorothy says:

    I wonder of she is talking about Winnona Rider??

  11. j. ferber says:

    Yeah, I immediately thought of Winona Ryder, too. But the story I heard was that Gwyneth, while at Winona’s house, saw the script for Shakespeare in Love on Winona’s coffee table, looked through it while Winona was elsewhere, then secretly auditioned for the part. Of course, she won the Oscar and the friendship was destroyed. So Gwyneth says Winona was dangerous and venomous, not that she herself was less than a stellar friend. But that’s narcissism for you.

  12. geronimo says:

    Very funny write-up, Jaybird. You’ve pretty much said it all. And it’s not that there’s not truth in what’s being said here, the schadenfreude, the fact that negativity sells etc etc, it’s just that, coming from Paltrow’s cold, snotty and lofty perspective, it’s impossible to sympathise with her or warm to her.

    And yes, what DID happen to her to turn her into this? Friendship with Madge and her cronies? Marriage with Chris Martin? A shitty diet? I too used to really like her and rate her as an actress.

  13. anna says:

    I’d bet money it was Winona Ryder– that was the first thing I thought of.

    Negative energy? WhatEVER, Gwynnie, Goopy, whatever your name is.

    Good grief, I wish she’d go away.

  14. guest says:

    gwynnie and her goop can kiss my ass.

  15. drm says:

    Don’t like her…at all. Oscar speech anyone? She’s always alternated between gushy and up herself. And anyone who calls her website GOOP, preaches on about five star restaurants, designer clothes and expensive destinations to the ‘peasants’
    (yes yes I know…”shop your own closet”…groan”) in the middle of a damn recession is a complete wanker…

    UGH take your snit elsewhere Gwynnie your s*** is getting old.

  16. PJ says:

    Gossip is entertaining and fun, and doesn’t mean you have ill will toward the people you’re gossiping about.

    But some of the venom I see on the Internet is disturbing. The degree of hatred expressed toward some celebs scares me, it’s too extreme.

  17. n says:

    her mother, Blythe Danner, is a real actress and a classy lady.
    where did she go wrong with Gwynn?

    young Gwynn is so vain and such a know it all.

  18. I Choose Me says:

    What I want to know is, where can I get me a pair of them there straight jacket shoes? *sarcasm*

  19. Hieronymus Grex says:

    Sure thing, lizard neck !!

  20. Ro says:

    Sorry, this is a long one.
    I agree with the person who wrote that she was probably always like this but we just didn’t know it.
    10 or 15 years ago when Goopy first became noticed by people for dating Brad Pitt not as many people were on the internet daily and there were not as many websites. We would only hear about something that came out of her mouth in the occasional magazine interview that was probably an extremely edited version of what she really thought. Now we not only get recycled interviews and gossip about her we have her own website to draw from and people just don’t like her.
    If she is not pleased with people having an opinion about her than she should probably just make her movies and refrain from newsletters and giving all of the intereviews. There are plenty of actors who have done it and she has the celebrity status to pull it off. Of course she will also need the acting skills and the ability to be ok with not seeing huge posters of herself everywhere and those two things I personally don’t think she has.

  21. Wow says:

    Goopie is one of my style icones. Love the way clothes fit on her, but why did she have to start talking this much? Who gave her a computer? This is ruining everything. Lol.

    CB is too funny with running the “head held high” snooty intro picture of her. This seems tobe blogs fav picture to use when talking about Gwenie and her GOOP. Hilarious.

  22. cherryblossom says:

    *sigh* It’s not even fun to pick on her anymore…it’s like that fat kid with the inhaler and bad acne at school, you know, the one that thinks he’s god’s gift to women. It’s hilarious to mock him and chuckle. For a while. Then you just start to shake your head and feel bad for the delusional little creep.

    BTW- I was totally thinking something similar to “Bow down peasants,” when I saw that header. Too funny.

  23. Lori says:

    ferber:
    April 16th, 2009 at 2:37 pm Yeah, I immediately thought of Winona Ryder, too. But the story I heard was that Gwyneth, while at Winona’s house, saw the script for Shakespeare in Love on Winona’s coffee table, looked through it while Winona was elsewhere, then secretly auditioned for the part. Of course, she won the Oscar and the friendship was destroyed. So Gwyneth says Winona was dangerous and venomous, not that she herself was less than a stellar friend. But that’s narcissism for you.<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

    Hey GermO, why don’t you tell this person that they appear to be ‘Climaxing over Gossip’? Our two rants seem pretty much the same to me. Wouldn’t your disgusting insult apply here as well? We’re all just sharing gossip.

    No offense to you Ferber. I have heard that story too.

  24. Annie says:

    Pfft. Bottom line is she’s a narcissistic, self-righteous bitch who needs to learn when to shut up.

    I’m so sick of seeing her.

    “Sad lives”? Says the woman named Goop who sees herself as the second coming. Why doesn’t she go raise her little fruit and stop trying to tell people what to do/wear/eat/act.

  25. Ggirl says:

    That picture of her is perfect; nose AND ass stuck up in the air! Make Way for the Queen everyone.

  26. Zoe (The Other One) says:

    Great story jaybird, very funny and hysterically funny pic!

    I honestly can’t believe I used to consider myself a fan of this woman. She has got her head stuck so far up herself now it’s ridiculous.

    Goop off Gwynnie.

  27. the original kate says:

    no matter how many times i see that photo of gwoopy with her nose in the air it always makes me laugh. it’s like she’s sniffing the air and thinking to herself: “ick! i smell middle class people!”

  28. Cinderella says:

    One day you’ll see her on the cover of her newsletter flipping off the world with both fingers.

    At that point, the healing process can begin.

  29. Melodie says:

    Jeez Louise.

    Look, obviously I don’t speak for everyone, but you know, for me, the dislike has continued because of GOOP, not begun.

    There have been a million stories about Gwyneth Paltrow referring to non-famous/non-rich people as “pedestrians” or “civilians” or whatnot, a million stories about her refusing to even stand in the same room with the plebes unless she’s behind a barricade of some sort and surrounded by bodyguards and handlers.

    I can’t even imagine how far your head would have to be up your own ass to take that attitude with the so-called common people and then act like they have no good reason to dislike you.

    Here is my advice to you, Gwyneth Paltrow: if you want to be a snooty, elitist bitch, more power to you, but OWN it, yeah? Don’t do it and then boo-hoo-hoo when people take offense.

  30. jennifer says:

    Adding to the Shakespeare in Love rumour, I also heard that Winona (or her people, anyway) made up that story about the manuscript, and that makes me wonder if THAT’S what she’s referring to when she talks about a friend trying to take her down & hurt her. Winona’s since proven herself to be a tad off her rocker ;) so I wouldn’t doubt that a bit.

  31. Madelyn Rose says:

    There is an interesting article on Lainey today about the whole Winona?Gwyneth thing. I don’t think Gwyneth is any more self righteous than Angelina Jolie, yet some love Angie and hate Gwyneth. They act the same – superior! I don’t get it.

  32. lrm says:

    she looks more like her mom now-and looks hardended and older—-maybe now that her dad is gone,she doesnt have his energy to draw from? she had said that his side of the fam-jewish-was very warm and open. I know her Mom is classy,but I dont think she’s as great of an actress as Goop has the potential to be. Goop was fantastic in her earlier roles. I,too,used to love her and now am borderline loathing of her. I am sure it is b/c she stuck to acting and interviews about her roles/movies before. And that Madge has had not as positive of an influence on her. And Martin is kind of immature emotionally,as well.

    But,yea,the real laugh here is ow she does make her living off of publicity,and only wants/expects good publicity.
    Someone should clue her in: Just like with a movie or film,people can like or dislike any of your ‘creations’ You know? Okay,her newsletter isnt high art,but it is something she created,and as such,should not expect that everyone will flock to it with adoration,nor should she expect that she is the go-to person for holistic and happy living.

  33. karen says:

    I think I lost all love for her when she talked about how Brits were SO superior to Americans. Then, came the fake apologies.

    Rupert Everett’s book talks about a party given by Donatella Versace attended by Madonna, Goopy and
    J. Lo. Basically, Madonna and Goopy teamed up and “snorted in derision” at J. Lo. Yeah, she’s a real positive gal.

    I can totally picture Madonna and Goopy blowing smoke up each other asses, saying, “we are so much more positive than those negative peons! Yes, we are!”
    They must bond on their superiority to the entire human race.

  34. Ally says:

    Well considering J.Lo had hooked up with Gwyneth’s ex, Ben Affleck, there was some ulterior — dare I say mouth-soaping worthy — motive to that Mean Girls behavior. Plus J.Lo had become the triple threat Madonna had always wanted to be.

    A pathetic image all round. Thanks for mentioning the story, karen. Good gossip!

  35. Benice says:

    What I don’t understand is why people can’t stand a word she says but post and reads Everything Gwyneth. Everything the experts said on her newsletter is true about people and gossip. A great example is this gossip blog and the comments.

  36. AJ says:

    Looks like she reads articles about herself and then lifts from them because she doesn’t have an original idea in her head! Check out this article singing her praises in 1999. “Let me not misrepresent myself. Like most New Yorkers, I frequently see the happiness of others as a rebuke; good fortune that is not my own is usually enough to evoke feelings of Schadenfreude.” She’s reaching back 10 years!

    http://www.salon.com/ent/feature/1999/04/cov_02featurea.html

  37. j. ferber says:

    Lori, thanks, but no thanks, I don’t care to be included in the “disgusting insult” directed at you (or anybody else for that matter), though I have no idea what you’re referencing.

  38. Karen says:

    Ferber, Lori is a big Aniston fan who was salivating over the rumored Pitt split: it’s judgment on Angelina, karmaic payback for Jen, etc. Geronimo made a joke about her “climaxing” over the story, which others found funny. Then, she called the people laughing at her “gross, pervert pedophiles.” And then she really went off calling people ugly, old, crackheads, stupid biatches, pervs, etc. Your basic high school stuff. Now, she’s still crying about that silly joke. Just a troll, wanting to start drama.

  39. CB Rawks says:

    “And yes, what DID happen to her to turn her into this? – A shitty diet?”

    It’s definitely that room-temperature lemon water. My face is puckering inside out just thinking about it.

  40. j. ferber says:

    Thanks for giving me the heads up, Karen.
    Also, Jennifer, I’d go with Ryder’s version on this one. Yes, she has issues and shoplifting is no joke, but in order to spin the story, Paltrow claimed that she and Ryder were never friends, despite pictures of them hanging out, holding hands, etc. She can’t stand to be revealed as less than perfect, so of course she is furious with Ryder and happy about her ex-friend’s public shame. So I think it’s fair to add “vindictiveness” to her list of faults (along with sanctimony, vanity, superciliousness, hypocrisy, etc.). I actually don’t hate her, but do find her exceedingly annoying.

  41. jennifer says:

    j. ferber: Paltrow claimed that she and Ryder were never friends

    Oh really??? That’s a pretty stupid thing for her to say, because yeah, we can ALL SEE all the pictures of them hanging out, HELLOOOOOO LOL

    I don’t mind either Winona nor Gwyneth, but yeah, they BOTH seem annoying to me ;)

  42. This is probably the first time Gwyneth’s truly been criticized, and she can’t handle it gracefully and without seeking an “explanation” from the experts.

    In her younger years, Gwyneth was “popular” in school, and she spent her 20s as an It-girl before taking years off for the family thing. So, now she is making her alleged “comeback,” and she doesn’t realize that most of her newsletter subscribers are reading just for laughs. Further, she doesn’t understand why she’s being criticized for something she sees as pure and “clean.” Heck, she already admits that the acting is just for money (how kind of her to lower herself), and GOOPing is what she actually wants to do.

    A few years back, Gwyneth did receive criticism for her ignorant, anti-American remarks for awhile, but she merely passed this stuff off as not understanding Spanish well enough and accidentally saying the wrong things to foreign journalists. So, all of that was “someone else’s fault.”

    However, the GOOP leaves no room for that sort of “lost in translation” justification. She can’t understand why people don’t like these wonderful things that she puts into the world, and, naturally, it must be our problem.

  43. geronimo says:

    Karen – thanks so much for explaining the context of my remark to Lori. I saw her comment to J Ferber about me but decided not to feed. But I do appreciate you taking the trouble to clarify it to others since it was plainly lost on Lori. Appreciate that. :-)

  44. heh-heh says:

    In that first picture, she has a real Norma-Desmond-at-the-end-of-Sunset-Boulevard thing going on.

  45. Lori says:

    GERMO nothing has been lost on me, quit trying to insult my intelligence. People are backing you up because old wenches stick together. It was no better for you to attack me with a nasty joke then me saying any of the things that I have said, so what makes you any better or more mature? It is BS. You are not better or smarter than me you just think you are. Replying to Karen instead of me was childish and you know it, you just had to say one more thing about all of this, because you are childish and you know it. I will stop when you bitches stop.
    Karen it is perfectly okay for you to call names right?! Celebitchy is not going to ban me if you keep giving me reasons to defend myself.
    Why don’t YOU bitches grow up?! I had no confrontation with you at all Karen but you just had to throw your two cents in that I am a troll? Now I know you are an old and ugly wench too, so there is no confusion about that now.
    Give me a damn break, all I did was voice my opinion about Angelina Joile! Are you all that in love with her on this blogsite really!? Disgusting. What she represents is a disgusting, foul, human being, and you old wenches want to be her, and you live vicariously through her, and it is pathetic.

  46. Zoe (The Other One) says:

    Old and ugly wenches – and where is the shame in that Lori?! I’d rather be that than a childish pedant. Oh and I’m most definitely NOT an Angie-Jo fan so does that make me an ugly old wench too or do I get another name?

  47. Lori says:

    Proud of yourself for making use of the word pedant? You want beef to Zoe? I can see in your picture you are ugly and old! LOL!!!!

  48. Whitey Fisk says:

    Nicely said, bedhead.

  49. Zoe (The Other One) says:

    Ha! Lori, LOL, no I don’t want to ‘beef’ whatever that may be. And no, I’m not ‘proud’ of myself for using the word ‘pedant’ – I wasn’t aware one could be proud for using words unless they have a poor vocabulary and feel the need to expand it. Which I don’t.

    I am old and ugly but you couldn’t tell that from my pic!

  50. lisa says:

    Thank God Brad did not marry her.. If only there was some way to get my Chris and his kids away too…

    Ok I’m off to develop a plan.

  51. Taya says:

    Oh please. If it was not for her famous parents, Gwynnie would be bagging donuts and making bad drinks at the local coffee house. She is just a bad actress and pompous asshole. She is just pissed because Chris is always cheating on her overrated ass.

  52. british bitch says:

    She´s totally overrated and incredibly boring and staid – despite weeks of having to put up with her pube flashing period in the UK al over the trashy Daily mail. But then her husbands boring and overrated also, so they make a perfect match. I think she´s ugly by the way.

  53. j. ferber says:

    Taya, Chris cheats on her? I’ve never heard that before.

  54. I’m very happy to read thisThis is the kind of manual that needs to be given and not the accidental misinformation that’s at the other blogsAppreciate your sharing this best doc.