'09
Guess is really trying to prove that they’re a hip, edgy fashion line. And what better way to do that than with some classy shots of Paris Hilton using her dog to cover her man cave? Paris has modeled for the brand since 2004, though those ads didn’t make me feel quite so sick to my stomach. Nor did that little voice in my head whisper “Call PETA… NOW!” They really should have an urgent hotline for things like this.
In the last five years Miss P has artfully mastered the vacant bedroom eyes that supposedly convey unbridled sexiness. At least according to advertisers. Personally, if someone I was about to sleep with had that serial killer stare that Paris is always working, I’d grab my machete – just in case. I will never understand why that’s supposed to look attractive, nor how it conveys sensuality.
It does, however, convey emptiness, and emphasize Paris’ already flat affect. I imagine Guess put out a casting call that looked something like this:
Tall blonde, bad weave, long legs, canoe feet. Must provide own small dog for crotch shots. Flat affect/I.Q. under 85 a +. Call Ron.
Paris is photoshopped into oblivion, so I can’t comment much about her appearance apart from her eyes. Why do they airbrush that way? Do the retouchers really think we’ll buy that people are supposed to look like they have hard, shiny, plastic legs?
Here’s Paris in all her glory. The first half photos are from Guess’ upcoming Spring/Summer 2009 campaign. The rest are from Paris’ other Guess ads.
Written by JayBird
Posted in Paris Hilton, Photos
- Diet secrets from Jessica Alba's nutritionist [Hollywood Life]
- Hef's twins have beautiful hair [D-Listed]
- The Twilight kids: more "Hills" than cool [Lainey Gossip]
- Ellen premieres on Idol tonight [Popeater]
- Cute photos of Anna Paquin and Steven Moyer exercising [Popsugar]
- JWoww wants bigger implants [Celebslam]
- Look at Handy Manny now [Go Fug Yourself]
28 Responses to “Paris Hilton masters the flat vacant eyes for Guess ad campaign”
-
hahaha, the dog looks like it smells really bad.
-
I remember the Guess ads with Anna Nicole Smith. I thought she looked great.
-
Well, one eye anyway the other is in business for itself.
-
she’s gettin’ older and uglier. she’s not gettin’ better with the years.
-
These dont look like they can be real…. like it a joke or something….
-
I like the pics. The poor pooch looks like he’s being blinded by all the bright lights though.
Aren’t her eyes really brown? Just wondering…
LOL - kai
-
all these pics are about 4-5 years old. all of them even the ones on the top. still skanky though! poor tinkerbell
-
wtf is up with her red hands????
-
She wears blue lenses, the gods know why…and also one of her eyes is looking at L.A. and the other one at N.Y.
That poor dog looks really bothered by the light and probably embarrased as well.
The red hands, I think it´s an effect of the lights and shadows. And her mouth is agape like that of a drooling idiot.Is that supposed to be sexy? -
LOL i love your comment about how PETA should have an emergency hotline for these cases. hahah i agree
-
That dog in the photos is probably lying dead in one of her closets, long forgotten, soon to be discovered by her staff.
-
So are trying to not sell jeans? What the hell are they thinking?
-
actually these are all OLD
-
That dog looks like he is wondering where that horrid stench is coming from.
Poor thing. Call PETA indeed.
-
haha KAI: the dog is probably wondering how long ago the cat died and why Paris is hiding it in her cave of wonders
-
She looks like Angelyne in that first shot.
-
Not only is she getting uglier, but HAVE THEY LOST THEIR MINDS?
Paris is as trashy and cheap as you can get.
Many times people comment how she looks like a hooker who has been through too many things and now has that empty look in her eyes.
-
Sauronsarmy - I remember those too! I believe we are showing our age.
I seem to have missed the point at which it became sexy to roam about with your mouth hanging open. My bad.
This person is another one who pushes the concept of female beyond the realms of seriousness. She was born male right?
-
Wow! This is one of the funniest stories written on C/B
I’ll be laughing all night (: -
I am choking over all this hatred. She only wants to be reknown. I think she is one of the most desirable women that has ever walked the earth, and her apparent transparency is precisely what makes her so interesting.
-
I thought these pictures were old. Perhaps they just look the same as others.
I don’t see the vacant stare. I never have gotten it.
But I don’t think she’s pretty. -
OMG! what a slutty pose! Are you posing for a porn dvd cover or something…?
-
I wish it wasnt so photoshopped. would love to see the un-touched pics!!
-
That poor dog!!
-
Notice that the dog seems to be squinting and saying “oh no”…
-
God, that thing is hideous. Cute dog, though.
-
Oh my…that’s terrible photoshopping.
And can we stop it with the big foot jokes? Of all the things you can mock her for, feet is one of the few things that aren’t her fault. She’s taller, therefore has bigger feet. Deal! I’m 5′11 (and some change) and wear a 10 or 11 depending on the shoe. I just get a little offended sometimes. *sniff*
On a less whiny note: What is wrong with that dog?
Leave a Reply
Celebitchy aims to be a friendly, welcoming site where people can discuss entertainment stories and current events in a lighthearted, safe environment without fear of harassment, excessive negativity, or bullying. Different opinions, backgrounds, ages, and nationalities are welcome here - hatred and bigotry are not. If you make racist or bigoted remarks, comment under multiple names, or wish death on anyone you will be banned. There are no second chances if you violate one of these basic rules.By commenting you agree to our comment policy
Use the "Report this comment as spam or abuse" link to ask the moderators to delete a comment if it's offensive. If your comment disappears, it has been eaten by the spam filter. Please e-mail cbcomments at gmail.com to get it retrieved.
Get an icon next to your name by signing up for a free Gravatar
skank.
Report this comment as spam or abuse