CB sent me this interesting piece from June’s Cosmopolitan magazine. For those of us who haven’t read Cosmo in a about a million years, they’re still doing that feature with men, asking them for “Ten Things Guys Wish You Knew”. For this issue, they asked Chris Pine, the 28-year-old hottie who stars as Captain Kirk in the rebooted J.J. Abrams-directed Star Trek.
Chris is pretty funny, and some of his words of wisdom are definitely on target. The funniest advice he offers the ladies is to always talk up penis size. Chris suggests such comments as: “Damn, that’s huge”, “My God”, “I don’t know if I can hold that thing” and “Baby, I don’t have three hands.” That last one was my favorite. Not to be too graphic, but in my experience, the phrase “I don’t know if that will fit” works pretty well too.
1. “Approaching girls in bars terrifies us. It sort of feels like a no-win situation. Like, we know we’re already paddling upstream because she assumes, “Oh, he thinks I’m cute. I win’ And where does that leave us?”
2. “’Wow, you look so skinny!’ is not a compliment. Having a good body means actually having something there.”
3. “No matter how big we are – and yes, I’m referencing to that area – it’s best to assume we have a Napoleon complex. We’d love it if you threw in a ‘Damn, that’s huge!’ every now and then.”
4. “’My God!’ ‘I don’t know if I can hold that thing!’ and ‘Baby, I don’t have three hands’ all work pretty well too.”
5. “A man becomes a mama’s boy any time he’s sick. And any time he’s really hungry.”
6. “Dirty texts are amazing,”
7. “We’re absolutely scared sh*tless of your wrath.”
8. “We hate it when you say ‘I don’t know. What do you want to do?’ Guys have to do most of the heavy-lifting in terms of inviting and picking the perfect place to go to dinner. Give us a break once in a while and decide what to do on a date. We’re still going to end up driving.”
9. “A white wife-beater tank top, tight jeans and a pair of heels drive us nuts. A black bra and you’re asking for trouble.”
10. “When we’re having a guy’s night out, we’re really not doing much of anything at all. We basically just put each other down, then laugh at each other, then put each other down…”
[From Cosmopolitan, print edition, June, 2009]
I don’t care for his fashion advice. Tight jeans, high heels and a wife-beater? Who are we, Tanya Harding? I also don’t like this whole idea of a guy being scared to approach a girl at a bar. What’s the big deal? If you’re too scared to hit on a girl in public, we’re probably not going to date you anyway. Other than that, I totally agree with the whole thing about a sick guy turning into a mama’s boy. That happens. And it’s scary.
Here’s Chris Pine at the Los Angeles Premiere of “Star Trek” on April 30th. Images thanks to WENN.com .